520-Day Mission To Mars Simulation (AKA Sit In A Dark Trailer) Has Been Completed

November 4, 2011


Let's take another one -- this time with less eagle hands.

An international team of mock astronauts emerged from their windowless trailer "spaceship" yesterday after being locked away for 520-days during a simulated flight to Mars and back. Damn, a spaceship with wood paneling -- now that's future technology. God, did you have to shit in a bucket too?

The all-male crew could only shower once a week, ate canned food and received emails on a delay, depending on how "far away" they are from Earth. Their living quarters are the size of a bus and, outside of a quick stint on mock Mars, they've spent two eight-month periods in total confinement.

But Patrik Sundblad, the human life sciences specialist at the ESA, says the simulation has proved a complete success. "Yes, the crew can survive the inevitable isolation that is for a mission to Mars and back," Sundblad stated. "Psychologically, we can do it."

520 days locked in a shitty bus with five other dudes? Do you think they, you know, started messing around with each other like in prison? Because I would have, ON DAY ONE. Well guys, it looks like we're gonna be stuck together for awhile, this is my wiener.

520 Days Later: Fake Mars Mission Ready to Return [wired]

Thanks to Matt G, blake and Jugo91, who agree it's completely different when you're actually up there floating in a tin can and can't just chop down a door with an axe and be all "HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"

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