Nov 7 2011 I'd Rather Risk It: Japan's Seeing Eye Robot

This is a seeing eye robot developed by Japanese ball-bearings giant NSK, who actually wants to see the robo-dog hit production lines by 2020. *eying calendar* I'd...work on something I could monetize a little quicker.

With this third iteration, unveiled late last month, NSK and UEC have added a Microsoft Kinect sensor, which allows it to more easily identify and navigate obstacles or stairs...The bot's paws have also been equipped with obstacle-avoiding bumper sensors, and researchers are working on incorporating voice commands, as well. NSK says its guide dog could eventually feature GPS capabilities to provide more accurate directions for the blind and visually impaired, though it'll probably be a while before it hits the pavement; the company hopes to commercialize the dogbot by 2020.

Oh man, this reminds me of the time I locked myself out of my girlfriend's apartment walking her cat and decided to pass the time at a bar until she got home.

*GW puts on sunglasses, enters bar with cat on leash*
Bartender: Service animals only!
Me: I'm blind, this is a service animal.
Bartender: No, that's a cat.
Me: ...THEY GAVE ME A CAT?!

Oldie but a goody. Hit the jump for a video of the seeing eye bot in action.

Continue Reading " I'd Rather Risk It: Japan's Seeing Eye Robot "

Nov 7 2011 Batman Pulls A Chris Hansen, Trolls A Predator

This is a for-real video of a guy who poses as a 15-year old girl online (been there, done that amirite?!), gains the interest of some pedo, and agrees to meet them in real life. Then dude shows up dressed as Batman and calls the pedo out. This is a video of that happening. It's hands down better than Batman Forever and Batman & Robin combined.

Hit the jump for the skeez.

Continue Reading " Batman Pulls A Chris Hansen, Trolls A Predator "

Nov 7 2011 Boston Dynamic's PETMAN And Big Dog Strutting To The Bee Gee's 'Stayin' Alive'

A video of robots struttin' their asses to the Bee Gee's classic, 'Stayin' Alive'? Of course. This IS the internet, people.

Hit the jump for the video.

Continue Reading " Boston Dynamic's PETMAN And Big Dog Strutting To The Bee Gee's 'Stayin' Alive' "

Nov 7 2011 French Thieves Make Off With Over $1-Million In Copies Of Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Two separate (but possibly related) groups of French thieves robbed two trucks carrying copies of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, making off with over 10,000 copies of the game valued at around €780,000 (just over $1-million). No word if they used tactics learned from previous versions of the game to perform the heists.

French website Le Parisien reports that a delivery van en route to a Micromania store in Creteil and containing nearly 6,000 copies of Modern Warfare 3 was hit by a car at approximately 8 a.m. on Saturday. When the drivers of the delivery van got out of their vehicle, they were tear-gassed by two individuals wearing masks. One of the assailants hopped into the delivery truck and took off while the other followed in the car.

The second incident took place in Mantes-la-Jolie later on Saturday when another Micromania delivery van was hijacked by a trio of hooded criminals who had blocked the road. The assailants used a handgun to commandeer the vehicle and get away with nearly 4,000 copies of MW3.

Hmmm, sounds like somebody at Micromania was in on the heists. *eying kid behind the counter* WAS IT YOU?! *choke-slams into Uncharted 3 display* Just kidding, you look waaaaaaay too dumb for something like that. Pre-order Zelda: Skyward Sword for me?

Thousands of Copies of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Stolen [gamespy]

Thanks to Teema, Josh and carlo, who just pre-ordered their copies like normal people.

Nov 7 2011 Man Arrested After Getting Anti-Aircraft Shell Stuck In Keister During Sex Game

Picture related...enough.

A 50-year old Croatian man has been arrested after seeking medical help to remove a live 11-cm anti-aircraft shell from his butt after getting it stuck up there during a sex game. The deadliest sex game. You...have been hanging out with a bad crowd.

After the doctors removed the 11cm long shell, it was handed over to a member of the police anti-explosives unit, the paper said.

A Zagreb police spokesman confirmed the incident but would not give any details as the authorities are still investigating. If other illegal weapons are found in the man's home, he could face criminal charges.

Oh they're gonna find some more illegal weapons alright. If you think for one second a guy who plays anti-aircraft butt bomber or whatever doesn't sleep with the ring-pin of a live grenade around his wiener, you're crazy as he is (but only half the sexual deviant).

Croat man risks charges after explosive sex game [straitstimes]

Thanks to Daniel and Samuel L., who wonder if he started with buckshot and musket balls and worked his way up or if he just went straight for the gusto.

Nov 7 2011 Prison Inmate Makes Arsenal Of Final Fantasy Weapons Entirely Out Of Matchsticks

A man serving a prison sentence in Wales was recently discovered to be in possession of a Final Fantasy weapon arsenal made entirely out of matchsticks. You know, because that's what you do in prison: make things out of matchsticks (plus hide things in you B-U-T-T!).

The Governor of the prison, Steve Cross, told The Sun, "Their realism presented a genuine threat to the safety of staff, visitors and other prisoners". Meanwhile, a "source" told the tabloid, "It must have taken months. The knives were lethal."

Steve Cross and his staff are obviously not big JRPG fans, then, because nobody realised one was a Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII, or that another--which featured "a fully revolving barrel"--is Squall's gunblade from Final Fantasy VIII.

What do you mean,"the knives were lethal"? What the hell did he use to glue all those matchsticks together, razor blades?! Also, who was slipping him all the matches and what did he have to give them in return? Growing up my dad always told me if I ever go to prison I should try to marry the guy with the most cigarettes. True story.

Prisoner Builds Swords. Final Fantasy Swords. [kotaku]

Thanks to Katrina, which I admittedly read as Kitana at first and was all, "oh shit, girl, from Mortal Kombat?!"

Nov 7 2011 Site News: Geekologie Redesign Imminent

So there's gonna be a NEW AND IMPROVED Geekologie in the very near future. Possibly even tonight. That's why you can't comment today, because we want you to save up all those gems (gems, LOL) for the new system. That or something went horribly, horribly wrong. So yeah, stay tuned for Geekologie 2.0: the future of the intertubes.

Nov 7 2011 Australia Issuing DC Superhero License Plates

Australian transportation authority VicRoads has signed a deal with Warner Bros. to be able to issue DC Comics superhero license plates. Why? I dunno, apparently there's a demand for this sort of thing down under. Also: Vegemite and boomerangs. I want a Batman one with 'RBN 069'.

Superman is already muscling his way into the lead in terms of early customer interest, but the vehicle license plates on offer also include Supergirl, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash and Wonder Woman.

"The superhero plates are great value and start at just $200 for customers to upgrade a general issue plate with the design, or $404 to choose their own 3x3 [letter and number] combination as well," he said.

Great value?! $200 and $400 isn't a great value -- I've paid less FOR AN ACTUAL CAR. Sure it was a giant lemon, but you wanna know what I did? I made lemonade. Kidding, I pushed it over an embankment into a river.

Hit the jump to see the Batman plate.

Continue Reading " Australia Issuing DC Superhero License Plates "

Nov 7 2011 Nice Shootin' Tex: Guy Recreates Ocelot's Metal Gear Solid Gunspinning Routines

I know the screencap is kind of blurry, but those are guns in the air. Also, THE LEAST COOL PLACE I CAN THINK OF TO PERFORM YOUR METAL GEAR SOLID GUNSPINNING ROUTINE. "Hey mom -- don't come in the living room for the next five minutes." God, go outside and stand in front of a tree or something, shit!

Hit the jump for this guy and a bunch of others, only one of which doesn't take place in a sad looking bedroom.

Continue Reading " Nice Shootin' Tex: Guy Recreates Ocelot's Metal Gear Solid Gunspinning Routines "

Nov 7 2011 ALL LIES: Government Denies Knowledge Of Exterrestial Life Or Any Related Coverups

The US government, best known for doing everything in its power keep the general populace in the dark about anything of interest, has issued a statement claiming no knowledge of aliens or any coverups related to extraterrestrial life. Oh, real cool gubment -- LYING STRAIGHT TO MY DROOPY MAN-TITS.

These petitions were sparked by an Obama administration initiative called "We the People." Initially, the White House said staffers would respond and consider taking action on any issue that received at least 5,000 online signatures within 30 days. The requirement has since been raised to 25,000 signatures.

"The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race," Phil Larson from the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy reported on the WhiteHouse.gov website."In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public's eye."

The Paradigm Research Group, one of the organizations promoting the petitions, said that the response by a "low-level staffer" was unacceptable and that it would begin a new petition campaign.

Ahahahhahaha @ "low-level staffer". Phil Larson is a real person with real feelings you know! There's no question he's read this, and what did you do? YOU HURT HIM. Would you have been happier if they reanimated Eisenhower's body and had him write the report? Because the government can do that.

White House: There's no sign of E.T. or UFO cover-up [msnbc]

Thanks to rob, Brianna and Preacher62, who agree there's definitely something the government isn't telling us: everything.

Nov 7 2011 Quick, Just Show Me Where You Want It: Urine Could Be The Key To Cheaper Electricity

Green yellow energy.

Urine: minus writing your name in the snow or peeing under a roommate's bedroom door, most of it gets wasted. But now researchers in England are experimenting with microbial fuel cells (MFCs) to draw pee power from yellow gold. *splashing all over the back of the toilet*

Prior to an injection of 25ml of urine, the MFC was producing 0.9 milliampere per metre squared (mA/m²), which increased to 2.9 mA/m² after one hour from the point of injection.

This amount of urine was sufficient for continuous energy generation over three days, at which point the performance began to plateau and returned to the power output level that the MFC was producing prior to the injection.

An estimated 6.4 trillion litres of urine is produced every year leaving the researchers to call urine a potential alternative energy source that has so far been neglected.

6.4 TRILLION LITERS?! That...is a lot of pee. Imagine if we collected all the cow urine too -- we'd have enough to fill a swimming pool! What we'd do with a pee pool is beyond me, but I would take a look at a picture of one and throw up. *gagging* I can already smell it in my mind. No word if clear, pure alcohol urine will produce even more power, but one time a guy flicked a cigarette butt in the urinal I'd just used and it exploded. Plus I've peed in a friend's gas tank and he got like 40MPG.

Urine could be the answer to cheaper electricity [physorg]

Thanks to Tom, who agrees it's not the urine itself we need to harvest electricity, but the force you use squeezing it out.

Nov 4 2011 Watch Surf Tricks Performed In 'Bullet Time'

I know, the screencaps I so lovingly slapped together wound up looking like shit and offer little to no explanation of what's going on. That was my bad. Basically, photographers took a whole bunch of cameras, mounted them on a long horizontal platform, then had them all snap shots at the same time so they could be stitched together into a pannable shot of a surfer frozen in the middle of a trick. F***, I'm not doing a very good job at explaining this -- just hit the jump to watch the videos. They're pretty cool. What would be even cooler? If sharks went extinct so I can learn how to surf.

Hit the jump for the worthwhile videos.

Continue Reading " Watch Surf Tricks Performed In 'Bullet Time' "

Nov 4 2011 Russian Genius Found To Be Living With 26 Dressed-Up Skeletons In His Apartment

Anatoly Moskvina, a 45-year old Russian man who can fluently speak 13 languages and considered by many an all around genius, was discovered to be sharing his apartment with the skeletal remains of 26 women he dug up and dressed like dolls. He was busted after his parents came over for an unexpected visit. JESUS! Where the f*** did you hide them when you knew they were coming over?!

Russian media reported the bodies were females aged between 15 and 26 who died years ago.

Life News said Moskvina is a historian who sneaked into graveyards at night, dug up bodies and took them home in plastic bags.Back in his apartment, he dressed up the bodies as dolls wearing dresses and stockings.

Moskvina is believed to have slept in a coffin during one nocturnal cemetery [excursion], BNO News reported.

Hey -- geniuses work in mysterious ways, you know? Take me for instance, I live in this apartment with 68 cats. "But you're not actually a genius." And this isn't actually an apartment -- it's a van.

Russian "Genius" Lived With 26 Corpses [nbcLA]

Thanks to Bradley B, who agrees two skeletons in your closet is enough for anyone. Three tops.

Nov 4 2011 I Will Shoot You From Afar: DIY Wolverine Claws Made Out Of Ice Skating Blades

This is a kid posing with his homemade Wolverine claws. He says he made them for $5 out of nothing but a couple old pairs of thrift store ice skates, a couple nails, a couple bolts, and access to an acetylene torch and bench grinder. Really -- and for only $5?! You sure you don't want to come clean about anything? There's nothing wrong with priding yourself on frugality, but you and I both know those are at least $8 claws. The jig is up!

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the Instructable to make your own, just don't expect to make a pair for under $10 like this liar. Three pairs of thrift store ice skates for $1.75 apiece -- please.

Continue Reading " I Will Shoot You From Afar: DIY Wolverine Claws Made Out Of Ice Skating Blades "

Nov 4 2011 Teacher 'Reanimates' Goldfish After Dropping In Liquid Nitrogen, Sucks At Teaching

If you haven't already seen it, this is a video of a shitty high school science teacher dropping a goldfish in liquid nitrogen, then returning it to water where it "reanimates" itself. The goldfish survived due to the Leidenfrost Effect, which allowed this REAL scientist to dip his hand in liquid nitrogen and it not break off and shatter (follow that link for more info). So my question is this, Special Ed -- if you believe in science so much, why'd you use a goldfish instead of your own hand? I'll tell you why -- because you're a sissy. ADMIT IT -- ADMIT YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN SCIENCE! *teacher sobbing* "It's all true -- the drama department was overstaffed!"

Hit the jump for the that was entirely unnecessary.

Continue Reading " Teacher 'Reanimates' Goldfish After Dropping In Liquid Nitrogen, Sucks At Teaching "

Nov 4 2011 Woman's Portrait Made From Taking The Average Of 500 Separate Pictures Of Her

This is a picture of Flickr user clickflashwhirr (links to all her portraits), who's taken a picture of herself in the exact same position for over 500 days. Then, artist/possible stalker Tiemen Rapati took those photos and combined them into a single one by "[counting] the individual RGB values for each pixel and for each portrait, and [dividing] those values by the number of portraits." So, in summary, clickflashwhirr is vain as f*** and Teimen is more than a little on the creepy side.

This Woman's Fake Face Is Made from 500 Faces [gizmodo]

Thanks to Eyecrusties, who -- are you trying to tell me I need to wash my face?!

Nov 4 2011 Turn Off The Lights!: Glow Pillow With LEDs

The Lumi Nube is a conceptual pillow with integrated strips of LED tape that light up so you can...I dunno, do whatever the hell you'd do with a glowing pillow. "OMG, I'm gonna have my girlfriend sit on t--" Stop it right there, pervert. I don't even wanna hear what kind of unholy kinkery is about to come out of your mouth.

Luminube is a pillow cover with integrated LED lights that provide ambient light for reading, easing you to sleep, or even waking you up with its smartphone controlled timer.

The pillow plugs into a standard wall outlet, and provides a USB plug for your smartphone. Because if there's one thing I need in bed, it's more power cords. *eying crock pot and waffle iron* You know what would suck? Accidentally flipping your glow pillow on in the middle of the night and then not being able to fall back asleep because you just thought your head was on fire.

Hit the jump for several more shots.

Continue Reading " Turn Off The Lights!: Glow Pillow With LEDs "

Nov 4 2011 520-Day Mission To Mars Simulation (AKA Sit In A Dark Trailer) Has Been Completed

Let's take another one -- this time with less eagle hands.

An international team of mock astronauts emerged from their windowless trailer "spaceship" yesterday after being locked away for 520-days during a simulated flight to Mars and back. Damn, a spaceship with wood paneling -- now that's future technology. God, did you have to shit in a bucket too?

The all-male crew could only shower once a week, ate canned food and received emails on a delay, depending on how "far away" they are from Earth. Their living quarters are the size of a bus and, outside of a quick stint on mock Mars, they've spent two eight-month periods in total confinement.

But Patrik Sundblad, the human life sciences specialist at the ESA, says the simulation has proved a complete success. "Yes, the crew can survive the inevitable isolation that is for a mission to Mars and back," Sundblad stated. "Psychologically, we can do it."

520 days locked in a shitty bus with five other dudes? Do you think they, you know, started messing around with each other like in prison? Because I would have, ON DAY ONE. Well guys, it looks like we're gonna be stuck together for awhile, this is my wiener.

520 Days Later: Fake Mars Mission Ready to Return [wired]

Thanks to Matt G, blake and Jugo91, who agree it's completely different when you're actually up there floating in a tin can and can't just chop down a door with an axe and be all "HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"

Nov 4 2011 Surfer Almost Gets Eaten BY A WHALE

This is a short video of a girl on a surfboard watching whales feed off the coast of Santa Cruz, California when she almost becomes a snack herself. Wonderful news, really *adds whales to 'list to things to be afraid of in the ocean' between Spongebob's friend Patrick and fish small enough to swim inside a butthole*. Oh man, remember the Bible story of Jonah getting swallowed by a whale and living in its stomach for three days? Me neither, it's....been a minute since vacation bible school.

Hit the jump for the no thank you very much.

Continue Reading " Surfer Almost Gets Eaten BY A WHALE "

Nov 3 2011 Sign Me Up!: A Real Life Jetpacking School

Jetpacks: in the future our kids will fly them to school. Well, your kids anyways -- I'm not having any. You see, despite how bottom-of-the-barrel-roll dumb I might be, I'm still smart enough to know that, while there's no question I'd make the world's greatest father, I'd make the world's worst caretaker. Telling stories, playing games and providing life lessons? Piece of cake. Willing to change diapers or remembering to feed? Not so much. My point is this: I can't even take care of myself. I haven't changed clothes since I took my wizard costume off the morning after Halloween and I haven't had anything to eat today but a leftover eggroll, a Ring-Pop, a handful of gummi peeners and two orange Starburst. Think I'm kidding? Ask my stomach. "Gumble grumble, gummi dongs." I TOLD YOU, THAT WAS THE LAST OF THE BAG! This is a commercial-y video for 'Rocketman' Eric Scott's jetpacking school. He teaches you how to fly. The Geekologie Writer's jetpacking school? I teach you how to fly in style. "I heard your last student burst into flames after getting wound up in powerlines." Oh him? He panicked when I taped the throttle down.

Hit the jump for the video.

Continue Reading " Sign Me Up!: A Real Life Jetpacking School "

Nov 3 2011 Wheeeeee!: Google's 'Do A Barrel Roll' Trick

Go to Google, type in 'do a barrel roll'. The page barrel rolls. This isn't rocket surgery, folks.

Google
and
Google (this one should auto-roll for you)

Thanks to Tarkin, Boogie Jon and bb, who don't use Google for anything but reading the autofill responses when they're bored. That...wow, that's some serious f***ing boredom.

Nov 3 2011 Another Day, Another Volcanic Lightning Cloud

Dammit Sauron, I already told you -- the Ring has been destroyed!

This is a picture of Cordon del Caulle erupting in Chile. It's not the first time we've seen lightning in the ash clouds of volcanoes here on Geekologie, it's just the first one that looks like a tornado FROM HELL. Impressive, devil, but if you even think about dropping a house anywhere near me I'll jam that trident so far up your ass you're gonna have five horns.

Picture [yahoonews]

Thanks to Matt, who swears the guy next to him in an airport bathroom stall had this coming out of him. Oh good lordy.

Nov 3 2011 Pokemon Card Freakout At Toys R Us, Kid Throws Snorlax-Sized Hissy Fit

This is a video of a kid's mom refusing to buy him more Pokemon cards at Toys R Us, and the kid losing his Pokemind in the middle of the store. At first I thought it was fake because why would you be film yourself talking at the checkout of a toy store, then I realized the kid had already started his downward spiral into hysteria BEFORE the film started rolling. Now I'm not saying if I were that kid's mother I'd have breasts I would've made him walk home, because that's how you get your kids abducted. No, I would have tied a rope around his waist and made him tow the car home. That way I could keep an eye on him. *tapping head* Always thinking, this one.

Hit the jump for the wrap it up public service announcement.

Continue Reading " Pokemon Card Freakout At Toys R Us, Kid Throws Snorlax-Sized Hissy Fit "

Nov 3 2011 Guy Kills Wife After Smashing Star Wars Toys

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

30-year old Rickie La-Douche La-Touche suffocated his wife with a pillow after she destroyed the Star Wars toy collection he'd been collecting since childhood. He's been sentenced to life and will undoubtedly get his ass turned out by a gang of Sith.

[He] told a court that his Thai wife Pornpilai Srisroy, 28, had damaged his precious Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker memorabilia.

He later suffocated her during a row and then ran sobbing to his mother who lived nearby.

La-Touche later told police his wife had smashed up his Star Wars collection as part of a campaign to "make his life hell". He also claimed he "flipped" when she threatened to leave him to go back to Thailand.

Not gonna lie, Rickie, that was NOT the way of a Jedi. That was a very Vader thing of you to do. Except for the running to your mom's house crying part, that...I don't even know what that was. *banging gavel* Ready my sail barge -- we're heading to the sarlacc pit.

Star Wars fan killed his wife after 'she smashed his toy collection' [mirror] (with a picture of his wife)
via
Convicted Star Wars Fan of the Day [geeks.thedailywh.at]

Thanks to Mark, who has never killed anybody over a toy collection but did slip rat poison in a roommate's cereal for flushing a toilet while he was in the shower. That -- that's okay.

Nov 3 2011 Turn Brown Eyes Blue With Laser Surgery

I have brown eyes. And they're romantic as f***. Men and women have actually gotten lost in these peepers for days. Kidding, they're like gazing into two twin @$$holes. And now a California doctor claims he could turn them blue with a quick 20-second cosmetic laser surgery. *starts saving* Sike -- I like my eyes just the way they are: brown and so lazy sometimes one doesn't even open.

The laser energy removes the brown pigment, or melanin, from the top layer of the iris, and the blue eye colour emerges over the following two to three weeks.

However the procedure - which Dr Homer has developed over 10 years - is irreversible because the brown tissue cannot regenerate.

'They say the eyes are the windows to the soul,' he told ktla.com.

'A blue eye is not opaque, you can see deeply into it, while a brown eye is very opaque. I think there is something very meaningful about this idea of having open windows to the soul.'

No, Dr. Homer, there isn't anything meaningful about the "idea of having open windows to the soul." Besides, blue eyes aren't open windows anyway! Having your eyelids removed is.

Doctor claims he can turn brown eyes blue (but he can't change them back again) [dailymail]

Thanks to Robin and alex, who, like me, though this whole article was about b-holes at first.

Nov 3 2011 Oh No You Di'int!: A Terrifying Spider-Bot

This is a robotic spider developed by the Fraunhofer Institute *adds to shit list* and designed to locate gas leaks *brap!* or provide recon in radiated areas unsafe for humans. Unsafe for humans?! There's nothing too unsafe for a human if you're paying enough. One time I saw a barefoot bum jump off a 5-gallon bucket onto a pile of broken bottles for less than the cost of a value meal. You think he wouldn't risk growing a peener out the side of his head for $50? You're crazy.

The 'bot is highly mobile and uses hydraulics for powering its legs. Each leg has a bellows system that forces fluid into the legs to make the robot scurry about.

The researchers think the robots will be relatively cheap to produce as well, making it easy to use in situations where the robot might not be able to return.

Oh man, I like this idea of putting robots in situations where they might not return. Hey spiderbot, go investigate that volcano -- tell us if you can swim across it. But seriously, WHY THE F*** DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A SPIDER?! There' just no good raisins. "You mean reasons?" No I mean raisins -- my ants on a log are just logs today.

Spider Robot is Creepy, But Helpful [technabob]

Thanks to Marco, who agrees there is NO WAY this thing needs to look like a damn spider.

Nov 3 2011 WTF Did I Just Watch?: Jian Sword Dancing

Napolean Dynamite deleted scenes.

This is a video of a girl with a jian sword and her brother/lover from the same mother with a butterfly knife (plus sweet haircut!) "dancing" while their grandma sips a Budweiser and watches her grandchildren almost stab the butterball of a family dog. That's...pretty much all there is to say. Except -- EXCEPT -- is the girl single? The one with the shades.

Hit the jump for a minute and a half of Ninja Turtle tryouts.

Continue Reading " WTF Did I Just Watch?: Jian Sword Dancing "

Nov 3 2011 15 Movie Scenes Recreated With LEGO

Lights -- camera -- plastic!

This is series of photographs by 21-year old artist Alex Eylar who faithfully recreated scenes from 15 different movies using LEGO blocks and minifigs. Which movies? I'm not gonna tell you. Just kidding: Harry Potter, The Shining, James Bond, The King's Speech, The Social Network, Mission Impossible, A Clockwork Orange, Star Wars, The Godfather, The Exorcist, Inception, Pulp Fiction, Psycho, American Beauty and The Addams Family. *panting* Whew -- that was a mouthful. "Of wieners?" Gummi ones -- I went to a bachelorette party last night!

Hit the jump for the other fourteen.

Continue Reading " 15 Movie Scenes Recreated With LEGO "

Nov 2 2011 Hey Look, This Snake In Florida Ate A Deer

This is a 16-foot Burmese python found in the Florida everglades that had recently eaten an 80-pound deer before being discovered and killed by the good ol' boys in the picture. The Burmese python is a non-native (it's name was a hint!) invasive species in Florida originally established by pet owners releasing their too-large snakes into the wild. Now? Now they're out there eating Bambi. No word what the snake thought the deer tasted like, but my guess is like anything else: like something that didn't want to be eaten. I guarantee if you could ask food if it was cool with you eating it, 9 times out of 10 it would say no. The other 1 time out of 10 you'd be talking to magic mushrooms and they'd be talking in rainbows and practically begging you to eat them.

Hit the jump for a close up of the snake's Bambi bump and mangled-ass head.

Continue Reading " Hey Look, This Snake In Florida Ate A Deer "

Nov 2 2011 Man Shoots Neighbor For Telepathic Threats

Seen here looking exactly like the kind of person you'd expect to shoot a neighbor after accusing them of telepathic threats, 53-year old batshit stupid Michael Selleneil stares down a police department camera for trying to steal his soul.

The suspect insisted to investigators that Pierce had been "telepathically threatening" himself and his wife...

Selleneit, has a "diminished mental capacity," according to Fox 13. Police say he believed Pierce was attempting to break into his trailer -- an allegation the suspect had lobbed at other neighbors before.

God, I can't imagine what Selleneit hadn't lobbed at his neighbors before. Because I probably would have moved out after feces. Also, was the neighbor he shot in a wheelchair? Because this idiot's is gonna have a hard time proving it was Professor Xavier if he wasn't.

Michael Selleneit, Utah Man, Shoots Neighbor For 'Telepathically Threatening' Him [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to Amber, who threatens neighbors at the top of her lungs like a normal person.

Nov 2 2011 Don't Move!: First Manned Multicopter Flight

Ever wanted to be chopped to pieces atop of an exercise ball? Join my ninja yoga class. Ooooooooor strap yourself to this terrifying 16-blade multicopter. One slip and you're fertilizer.

The German e-volo multicopter is the first manned electric multicopter to take flight according to the company. The pilot, Thomas Senkel utilized a hand-held wireless control unit to steer the spider-like contraption from a center-mounted seat. The initial flight only lasted approximately 90 seconds, but potential flight time could last as long as 30 minutes. A gas/electric hybrid copter could stay afloat for as long as an hour according to the company.

Admittedly, I would take my chances with one. Of course, I said the same thing about the expired cottage cheese cup I had for lunch today, and now look at me. "You do look pretty f***ing awful." Like really bloated, right? "Super bloated." Okaaaaaaay, this was gonna be a test because I haven't even had lunch yet but I want to stop now before I get hurt any more.

Hit the jump for a video of the one small step for man, one giant leap into rotating blades for mankind.

Continue Reading " Don't Move!: First Manned Multicopter Flight "

Nov 2 2011 WTF: Facedrink, A 'Social Energy' Energy Drink

Facedrink is an unfortunately real $3 energy drink that claims to provide "social" energy. WTF is social energy? SPOILER: Regular energy, dumbf*** with the Facedrink in your hand! Plus it gives you cancer.* Regardless, I just ordered a case with the hopes of meeting some new people. *accepting Stomach Ulcer's friend request* Change our relationship status to "it's complicated"?

*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA but I did run it by my roommate while he was on the phone and he gave me two thumbs up and then mimed like he was masturbating.

Official Site
and
Geekologie on Facebook

Thanks to Sion, who hopefully isn't affiliated with the company because man would that be awkward.

Nov 2 2011 Safe: A Homemade Wrist-Mounted Crossbow

Ezio Auditore called -- he said you better forward the schematics to da Vinci for him.

This is a professional looking wrist-mounted crossbow entirely homemade by A+ shop student Patrick Priebe. Entirely homemade by the Geekologie Writer? This lasagna. "I can see the Stouffer's box in the trash." Oh shishi. *dives out window with chef's hat parachute*

It even has a laser sight, which is powered by two AA-batteries which are tucked on his palm along with the laser sight's toggle. The wristbow's bolts are made of carbon fiber tubing with brass and steel tips, although crossbow connoisseurs might balk at his bolts because they have fletching - the feathery things near the back of the arrow - which bolts are not supposed to have.

Hey, I don't care if crossbow bolts are supposed to have fletching or not, if you're pointing it at me I'm still gonna give you my wallet. Then, when you turn to leave, I jumpkick you from behind, make you eat your own fist, and blow a hole through the back of your neck! Your body will be found under a bridge with both hands super-glued between your butt cheeks (my new calling card).

Hit the jump for a silent demo.

Continue Reading " Safe: A Homemade Wrist-Mounted Crossbow "

Nov 2 2011 Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer, Takes Place In L.A.

Smog: the breakfast of broken dreams.

This is the trailer for Grand Theft Auto 5, hot off the press. It looks pretty promising and takes place here in (a fictional) Los Angeles, so chances are high Rockstar will make me a non-playable character. Now listen, because this is important: I want you to hit me with a sports car doing at least 80MPH down Hollywood Blvd. Bonus points if my brains wind up in Shirley Temple's little handprints.

Hit the jump for the preview.

Continue Reading " Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer, Takes Place In L.A. "

Nov 2 2011 'I'm Questing', The Legend Of Zelda Rap

This is a rap song and music video about The Legend of Zelda called 'I'm Questing'. It's...actually not that bad. They could have found a better looking Link though. Me, I'm talking about me. I'm actually a dead ringer for the Link from the original game. "As wide as you are tall?" Exaaaaactly.

Hit the jump for the video as well as several others for different games including Minecraft, Pokemon and Mario.

Continue Reading " 'I'm Questing', The Legend Of Zelda Rap "

Nov 2 2011 Like He Just Got Kicked!: Picture Of Screaming Face Found In Ultrasound Of Man's Testicle

Haha -- I bet you didn't think you'd be staring at nuts before noon, did you?!

Seen here looking straight out of 4chan, the imagine of a screaming face was found after doctors performed an ultrasound on a man's nuts after numerous complaints of discomfort. Discomfort?! Well no shit bro -- you've got a little screaming man living in your balls!

The image of the man's face, seemingly in some distress, was sent to Urology, the International Society of Urology's official journal, and was published in the journal's September volume.

Writing in the journal, they said: "The residents and staff alike were amazed to see the outline of a man's face staring up out of the image, his mouth agape as if the face seen on the ultrasound scan itself was also experiencing severe epididymo-orchitis," wrote the authors, referring to an inflammatory condition.

The testicle was removed and the mass was discovered to be harmless.

Oh man, having doctors remove something only to find out it was harmless later? That's the worst. *eyeing where penis used to be* It was just a piece of dried toilet paper!

Face discovered in testicular tumour [telegraph]

Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who claims it was him screaming in that man's testicles. LOLWUT?! Your shrink-ray/teleporter needs some f***ing work!

Nov 2 2011 THE SKY IS FALLING!: Asteroid To Pass Closer To Earth Than The Moon Next Week

According to astronomers, next Tuesday an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier (~1,300-feet for those of you who don't like your measurements in naval vessels) will pass closer to earth than the moon's orbit, hopefully polishing off humanity like the dinosaurs. *readying tractor-beam* "Um, GW -- what the f*** are you doing?" YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.

The asteroid, dubbed 2005 YU55, will come within 202,000 miles of Earth, closer than the moon, before zipping farther into space. Carbon-colored and dark, the asteroid measures some 1,300 feet wide. It will be the closest visit by a space rock this size in more than three decades.

"This is not a potentially hazardous asteroid, just a good opportunity to study one," National Science Foundation astronomer Thomas Statler says. NASA and the NSF plan a series of radar telescope and other observations starting Friday, aimed at mapping the asteroid's surface and chemistry.

Say, this gives me an idea. Well -- what do you think? "...A leather belt with rocks glued to it?" It's an asteroid belt. It's a real shame Halloween was Monday because this has 'first place in a costume contest' written all over it. "Wow, it LITERALLY does." Yeah, sometimes you have to do the judges' thinking for them.

Asteroid 2005 YU55 will zip by Earth next week [usatoday]

Thanks to Jennie, who agrees now would be a great time to start a cult.

Nov 1 2011 Superhero Posters In The Style Of Different Art Movements: What, No Surrealism?

This is a series of superhero posters by French artist Greg Guillemin (of minimalistic pop culture characters fame) highlighting different artistic movements of the 20th centuries. My favorite artistic movement? Chubby nudes. "That wasn't a movement." Oh there was a movement alright -- in my pants! A bowel one. I think God wired me backwards :/

Hit the jump for a bunch more.

Continue Reading " Superhero Posters In The Style Of Different Art Movements: What, No Surrealism? "

Nov 1 2011 The Zombie Industry Is Worth $6 Billion

According to a study by people who study stuff and try to pretend it's a job (like blogging!), the zombie industry is worth almost $6-billion. My life? My life is worth nothing. "I'll take it." Haha -- nice try, Lucifer!

Regardless of the reason, zombies are worth billions of dollars. The figure that we were able to piece together: $5.74 billion. In all honesty, this tab is grossly undercalculated in each category. By the time you add the money spent in total around the zombie genre, the figure is much higher.

Movies: $2.5 billion

Video games: $2.5 billion

Comic books, magazines and TV: $50 million

Books and novels: $100 million

Halloween costumes: $500 million (over a 4-year period)

Conventions, events and walks: $10 million

Merchandise: $50 million

The digital world: $10 million

Music: $10 million

Art: $10 million

You can check out MSNBC's whole long-ass article for details on each segment of the market, or, if you're like me, you can just go, "damn, $6-billion, that's a lot." You have no idea how pissed I am for investing my entire life savings in aliens. THEY were supposed to be the next big thing!

Zombies worth over $5 billion to economy [msnbc]

Thanks to Sherry, who's trying to score a piece of the market with a line of zombie inspired cosmetics. OMG -- can you make it look like my eyes are bleeding?!

Nov 1 2011 Board Eraser Turns Chalk Dust Into New Chalk

This is a conceptual chalkboard eraser that sucks in the dust from the board and makes new pieces of chalk with it. No clue how much dust it takes to actually create a fresh stick, but my guess is at least twice what it'd collect in a lifetime.

As you erase the board, the Chalkeeper has a tiny vacuum motor that sucks up all of the dust and stores it inside the handle. That by itself would be a big improvement over the usual chalky mess, but this concept goes one step further by combining the chalk dust with heat and water to mold new chalk sticks.

This is actually a pretty genius idea if you think about it because 1. chalk is cheap as f*** 2. I can't remember the last time I even saw a chalk board and 3. the third world nations that actually still use chalkboards clearly have a budget for chalk-recycling erasers. Million dollar ideas, people.

This eraser magically turns chalk dust into new chalk sticks [dvice]

Thanks to The Professor, who still uses a chalkboard when he teachers because he likes the sound it makes when he's writing. You're sick.

Nov 1 2011 India Offering Cars, Cash For Male Sterility

Inb4 cash for gonads.

India, in an attempt to halt the country's exploding population, is offering cars, motorcycles, cash, televisions and blenders to men willing to have vasectomies. No word if the men receiving blenders will have to perform the operation themselves.

The chief medical office of Rajasthan's Jhunjunu Sitaram Sharma hopes that about 30,000 individuals will volunteer...

This follows on the heels of a similar program wherein approximately 150 men received vasectomies in exchange for gun licenses in a region that has been described as "bandit-invested." That'll end well.

India's population has been growing out of control, and is currently on track to surpass China's population within the next 20 years. Currently, India's population is at around 1.21 billion.

Not gonna lie, I'd get my nuts cut for a whole lot less. I'm talking like the promise of an Applebee's gift card. Not even the actual gift card, just the promise of one. And I'm not just saying that because I don't want any more kids, but because I really love Applebees. One appetizer and two entrees for $20 -- how're they even turning a profit?!

India Offers Cars and Other Goodies in Exchange for Sterilization [weirdasianews]

Thanks to Melissa, who isn't convinced sterilizing 30,000 guys is gonna make much of a dent in a 1.21-billion person population. No? Maybe they're the ones getting all the ladies pregnant!

Nov 1 2011 Boeing 767 Emergency Landing Sans Wheels

This is a video of a Boeing 767 making an emergency landing in Warsaw after its landing gear failed to deploy. There were 230 people on board, but nobody was injured. Soaked in shit and piss, yes.

It appears the Polish Lot aircraft, en route from New York, circled the city to burn up fuel and allow emergency crews to gather in preparation for the landing.

Hey -- how many Polish pilots does it take to land an airplane? Polish pilots -- that'll be the day! But seriously, sweet-ass landing. I actually have a spoon that looks like a little airplane and I can't even get a spoonful of beans & weenies in my mouth without poking an eye.

Hit the jump for the I've experienced rougher landings WITH landing gear.

Continue Reading " Boeing 767 Emergency Landing Sans Wheels "

Nov 1 2011 Scale Replica Of Halo Sniper Rifle In LEGO

Your barrel's saggin', bro.

God, if I had a nickel for every time somebody told me my barrel was droopy I'd be pounding an Egg McMuffin right now. This is Nick Jensen and his 1:1 scale replica Halo: Reach LEGO sniper rifle. I...wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it (butt or otherwise).

Based on the Halo: Reach incarnation of the weapon, it's 63 inches long, weighs over ten pounds and features a removable magazine, moving safety and sliding bolt (it doesn't actually fire, though). It also took over four months to complete.

Good lookin', Nick. I've seen a lot of LEGO guns in my day, and let me tell you: don't ever bring one to a knife fight. It may seem like a good idea if you've been drinking, but you WILL get cut, and you WILL bleed. You ever had a blood transfusion before? They filled me with Kool-Aid.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots but follow the link for higher-res versions.

Continue Reading " Scale Replica Of Halo Sniper Rifle In LEGO "

Nov 1 2011 That Guy's On Fire: Playing Battlefield 3 IRL

This is a video of Battlefield 3 being played in real life from the same guys that brought us Team Fortress 2 in real life. This one focuses on the role of the medic and the power of the defibrillator. The production value is pretty high. I mean, just look at that guy. He's on fire. I remember the first time I caught fire.

Hit the jump for the worthwhile video.

Continue Reading " That Guy's On Fire: Playing Battlefield 3 IRL "

Nov 1 2011 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Tree

This is a tree knot that looks like a ninja turtle face. Somewhere in the woods right now Shredder is trying to set a pile of pine needles on fire with a magnifying glass and Smokey the Bear is all, "AAAAAAAH, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!" Me? I'm regretting a lot of the decisions I made last night.

Cowabunga! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Tree [obviouswinner]