Soylent Green: Real Product, Not Real People

August 2, 2011


$9 Soylent Green crackers: not made with people, but with a made with people pricetag. That's a little questionable. But they are packed with spinach and "high energy plankton", so you can at least get your Popeye on knowing you're doing The Krusty Krab a service.

Soylent Green Crackers are the food stuff the world has been waiting for. A pleasing green cracker is low in fat and full of spinach, high energy plankton, and a special blend of herbs and people. Wait, what? Did we say people? DID WE SAY PEOPLE? OH SNAP - SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!! Ok, it's not really people. But Soylent Green Crackers are delicious and a great conversation piece.

Listen: if you're down to buying novelty crackers as a conversation piece, your ass needs to find some shit to talk about pronto BECAUSE THAT IS JUST F***ING SAD. Hey guys -- did you see my Soylent Green crackers on the table? They're people! LOLOL. What else, what else? So, how about that weather tod-- leaving so soon?

ThinkGeek Product Site

Thanks to David, who'll eat anything with BBQ or Polynesian sauce on it. Pfft, who wouldn't?!

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