Mar 6 2011BUSTED!: Idiot Moron Meth Dealer's Comic Book Based Money Laundering Scheme
Should've called the Maytag Man. Get it? I'm gonna punch myself so hard!
Clearly disregarding Captain America's hatred of illicit substances, 30-year old Colorado meth dealer AARON CASTRO spent all the proceeds from his lucrative drug dealin' on comic books. Like, $500,000 worth. What -- no graphic novels?!
While most people that make loads of money engaging in illegal actives usually open a business that acts as a front that allows them to filter their tainted money through, Aaron, as if through some kind of mystical nerd alchemy, opted to tread on unexplored territory: he transformed a lot of drug money in to comic books -- 18,753 comic books, to be exact.
As is usually the story for big time drug dealers, Aaron was caught. Most of the time federal prosecutors seize the drug dealer's assets, including any and all cash that may be stored away. But in Aaron's case there was no cash. Just 18,753 comic books, which in total are valued at around $500,000.Lonna Gwinn, who says she used to sell Aaron's meth, claims Aaron's comic book obsession was so bad that she used to make cash exchanges inside comic books stores, at which point Aaron would turn around and use that cash to buy entire boxes of comics.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Yeah, all the kids on that comic look like addicts." Exactly. Well -- what're you waiting for, Captain?! SHIELD THEIR F***ING FACES OFF!
Comic Books: The Most Creative Money Laundering Tool [funnycrave]
Thanks to Belpheegor and Thaylor, who launder money the old fashioned way: in a bucket with a washboard.
Reader Comments
1. Daaaaaavid - March 6, 2011 2:03 PM
waaaaa? a sunday post, you really do love us.
ps first?
2. Freebie - March 6, 2011 2:03 PM
This one's free ...
3. Erik - March 6, 2011 2:07 PM
GW ITS SUNDAY NOT MONDAY
4. josh - March 6, 2011 2:22 PM
on meth this is normal
5. Andrew - March 6, 2011 2:42 PM
Can't believe it. A post on the weekend.
6. Jason - March 6, 2011 3:10 PM
some comic book store owner is super bummed at the sudden loss of revenue
7. Bob - March 6, 2011 3:12 PM
It's called the internet. You can download your comics for free. Unless you are, you know, retarded.
8. alien - March 6, 2011 3:13 PM
Posting on Sunday and with a relevant image? Amazi---WAIT---Why am I at work??....
....So now this Aaron Castro is a comic-con?
9. Greenman - March 6, 2011 3:18 PM
I want to sell comic books with acid on the pages and I would just eat it all and sell none of it.
10. Boffie - March 6, 2011 3:53 PM
everybody's got their addictions...
11. j - March 6, 2011 4:55 PM
Black guy is saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
12. j - March 6, 2011 4:56 PM
Black guy is saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I'm not racist, look at the photo
13. Greenman - March 6, 2011 5:01 PM
Black guy is saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I'm not racist, look at the photo he has his other fist up Captain America's ass.
14. j - March 6, 2011 5:03 PM
that explains the creepy smile
15. wolverines dirty stache - March 7, 2011 9:00 AM
Doesn't anyone else find that comic cover of captain america to be hypocritical? I mean jeez, captain america became a superhero by taking experimental DRUGS!! So let me get this right marvel writers... it is okay for superheros to take drugs but not others. What a two face.
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17. mike - March 7, 2011 11:49 AM
Experimental yes. Illegal no. Drugs are only illegal and thus bad when the guberment tells you they are.
18. Ed - March 7, 2011 12:32 PM
So? It's not like he could put that money in the bank.
19. Ciao - March 7, 2011 1:41 PM
Who tucks their shirt in any more?
20. Lemmings19 - March 7, 2011 5:24 PM
He ended up losing.