Jan 12 2011Which One Of You Was This?: How To Get Fired From Domino's In Style


This is a copy of the official termination form of some assistant manager from a Domino's in Whoknows, Orcares, USA. The important part is I happen to know it's one of you. So, yeah -- go ahead and fess up (also, try using your old employee-discount to order me an extra-large with mushrooms and banana peppers). Still, I think we can all agree this is entirely Domino's loss. THIS MAN HAS 'DELIVERY DRIVER' WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM! Literally -- probably in pepperonis.

Humorous Domino's Employee Termination Record [foodbeast]

Thanks to Staticwolf, ChrisTheMan and Shenanigans, who're all lobbying to get this guy teaching 'Job Quitting 101' at their local community college.

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Reader Comments

I want whatever he was on.

Hmm.. Could this have been one of Jared Loughner's many alleged jobs? It sounds like his style...

But... I guess it beats what happens a few years back... where Domino's employees were sticking cheese up their nose and rubbin their nuts on pepperonis... Geez... what kind of screening do they do on applicants? None?

So, I'm assuming his name is John Connor, because he's about to get "Terminated"...GET TO THE CHOPPA'!

I lol'd so many times while reading this xD
"go straddle a narwhal, you cholirinated gene pool"
"became frustrated when he could only recite pi to the 46th digit"
that guy's beast

I think GW is a redditor.

I call fake!

The internet is filling up with fake words, maybe even i'm a fake person! You just don't know!

@6 -- gw receives tips from readers. should the material happen to also appear on reddit/stumbleupon/whateverthefuck, it's not really that crazy considering those sites are USER SUBMITTED LINK COMPILERS. is there any original content on such sites? no. everything you see on the internet is somewhere else on the internet, you whiny little brat. so please stfu or gtfo.

"also, try using your old employee-discount to order me an extra-large with mushrooms and banana peppers"

Ugh, people eat Dominos? I think I just threw up a little.

I was fired from radio one when they found out I could count.

I was fired from radio one when they found out I was a c-unt.

One c-unt fired me from radio one cause I cant count.


That's fantastic. I love "chloronated gene pool." I'd have loved to be there.

That was totally me. /pelvic thrusts

I like this almost as much as I like that people think it's real.

lololol! I lost it at the Rick James part...

had a good laugh this morning! thanks!

"This is a copy of the official termination form of some assistant manager from a Domino's".

No it isn't, you thick fuck. It's a fake.

Lol, you get fired there for a LOT less.
I remember when my under powered dying corolla was giving a warning for speeding going up an overpass.

HAHAHAHA whoever this guy is, I would like to buy him a crate of beer, because he sounds EXACTLY like me.
I can even recite pi to the 46th digit too! And I'm always saying 'I'm Rick James, biiiiattch' xD

I have never seen anything more fake than this. Everything he said is suspect. No one talks like that, least of all anyone who works at Domino's. Completely and obviously fake. Being high makes you lazy and retarded, not an avant-garde/surrealist performance artist.

I love this , So does My boyfriend. i met him via
( B-l-a-c-k-W-h-i-t-e-F-l-i-r-t-s* c-0-m)
a nice place for seeking interr/acial love.which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to meet the attractive sin gles and treat you like a king or Queen. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends.

Hey, guess what #22? Most art students actually WIND UP working at Domino's, so stfu.

How would the manager know what the guy did when he got home? Why would he include that in the report anyways?

#25 - "WHEN told to go home..."

... and where exactly is this Whoknows, Orcares, USA? I call it bullschlachen.

My guess is it's a joke by GW

@24: Hey now. Let's keep things real, here. Not all art students end up working at Domino's.

Most of them end up at Starbucks.

Am I the only one shocked that this was an Assistant manager and all he got was a warning?

Louis of http://aprettyage.blogspot.com/


That's impossible, the geekologie writer isn't that funny

@31 stfu or gtfo cuz GW is hilarious.

Well, since Domino's "New Improved" pizza is worse than before I'm glad I...err, I mean he got fired.

Anyone with access to real NY Style Italian made pizza that opts instead for Domino's is a lederhosen wearing bovine.


I want to get high with Rick James

I'm surprised whoever wrote this knew how to spell bovine and porcine but misspelled narwhal.

Sounds like this person was way too intelligent to work at Domino's anyway.

I'm not sure if this is real or not but it made me lmfao! The whole "go straddle a narwhal, you chlorinated gene pool" thing was just fucking hilarious! I may have to use that line next time I want to get fired from my job. I don't know how I would really be able to use that line because I'm a Lead Supervisor and Co-owner of a HVAC and Plumbing company and I already talk tons of shit to my employees and customers. I guess it would be hard for me to get fired since I own half the company, but it doesn't mean I can't tell some of my customer to "go straddle a narwhal" lol just too funny!

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I remember when I used to have minimum wage jobs. I didn't care if I lost them and went to work high all the time. Then I would quit by just not showing up, lol good times.

Anyway, this is really par for the course over at Domino's. And they won't find better quality labor unless they're willing to pay for it . . . like In 'n' Out Burger.

wtf is bullschlachen?
sounds as bovine as the customer..



Figure it out

The funny thing is that I get an ad of domino on the right side of the screen... Not sure I want to order right now... :P

Smeared lava cake all over himself and said I'M RICK JAMES BIIIIIIITCH!!!... that had to be the funniest thing ever seen in american history.. I wish someone would have recorded that,and youtubed it. That is what I would have done. If i was working at Dominos that night!

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