Jan 12 2011Which One Of You Was This?: How To Get Fired From Domino's In Style
This is a copy of the official termination form of some assistant manager from a Domino's in Whoknows, Orcares, USA. The important part is I happen to know it's one of you. So, yeah -- go ahead and fess up (also, try using your old employee-discount to order me an extra-large with mushrooms and banana peppers). Still, I think we can all agree this is entirely Domino's loss. THIS MAN HAS 'DELIVERY DRIVER' WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM! Literally -- probably in pepperonis.
Humorous Domino's Employee Termination Record [foodbeast]
Thanks to Staticwolf, ChrisTheMan and Shenanigans, who're all lobbying to get this guy teaching 'Job Quitting 101' at their local community college.
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Reader Comments
1. bun - January 12, 2011 7:04 PM
I want whatever he was on.
2. Lee - January 12, 2011 7:09 PM
Hmm.. Could this have been one of Jared Loughner's many alleged jobs? It sounds like his style...
3. Lee - January 12, 2011 7:10 PM
But... I guess it beats what happens a few years back... where Domino's employees were sticking cheese up their nose and rubbin their nuts on pepperonis... Geez... what kind of screening do they do on applicants? None?
4. Tennist0 - January 12, 2011 7:11 PM
So, I'm assuming his name is John Connor, because he's about to get "Terminated"...GET TO THE CHOPPA'!
5. Muneeb - January 12, 2011 7:15 PM
I lol'd so many times while reading this xD
"go straddle a narwhal, you cholirinated gene pool"
"became frustrated when he could only recite pi to the 46th digit"
LOL
that guy's beast
6. IWasOnCopsOnce - January 12, 2011 7:23 PM
I think GW is a redditor.
7. Indie9999 - January 12, 2011 7:32 PM
I call fake!
The internet is filling up with fake words, maybe even i'm a fake person! You just don't know!
8. calls em as i sees em - January 12, 2011 7:40 PM
@6 -- gw receives tips from readers. should the material happen to also appear on reddit/stumbleupon/whateverthefuck, it's not really that crazy considering those sites are USER SUBMITTED LINK COMPILERS. is there any original content on such sites? no. everything you see on the internet is somewhere else on the internet, you whiny little brat. so please stfu or gtfo.
9. ChrisV82 - January 12, 2011 7:47 PM
"also, try using your old employee-discount to order me an extra-large with mushrooms and banana peppers"
Ugh, people eat Dominos? I think I just threw up a little.
10. dumbass - January 12, 2011 8:18 PM
I was fired from radio one when they found out I could count.
11. dumbass - January 12, 2011 8:20 PM
I was fired from radio one when they found out I was a c-unt.
12. dumbass - January 12, 2011 8:23 PM
One c-unt fired me from radio one cause I cant count.
13. Oh-Shit - January 12, 2011 8:27 PM
Cantcountc.untradioone.
14. Juniper - January 12, 2011 8:31 PM
That's fantastic. I love "chloronated gene pool." I'd have loved to be there.
15. LUL - January 12, 2011 9:17 PM
That was totally me. /pelvic thrusts
16. Raven - January 12, 2011 9:23 PM
I like this almost as much as I like that people think it's real.
17. Jor Reno - January 12, 2011 9:30 PM
lololol! I lost it at the Rick James part...
FTW!
18. karrotstick - January 12, 2011 9:32 PM
had a good laugh this morning! thanks!
19. Wally - January 12, 2011 11:28 PM
"This is a copy of the official termination form of some assistant manager from a Domino's".
No it isn't, you thick fuck. It's a fake.
20. Two Armed Guy - January 13, 2011 1:37 AM
Lol, you get fired there for a LOT less.
I remember when my under powered dying corolla was giving a warning for speeding going up an overpass.
21. Jaja - January 13, 2011 1:37 AM
HAHAHAHA whoever this guy is, I would like to buy him a crate of beer, because he sounds EXACTLY like me.
I can even recite pi to the 46th digit too! And I'm always saying 'I'm Rick James, biiiiattch' xD
22. Obviously Fake - January 13, 2011 1:39 AM
I have never seen anything more fake than this. Everything he said is suspect. No one talks like that, least of all anyone who works at Domino's. Completely and obviously fake. Being high makes you lazy and retarded, not an avant-garde/surrealist performance artist.
23. hfghgj - January 13, 2011 3:19 AM
I love this , So does My boyfriend. i met him via
( B-l-a-c-k-W-h-i-t-e-F-l-i-r-t-s* c-0-m)
a nice place for seeking interr/acial love.which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to meet the attractive sin gles and treat you like a king or Queen. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends.
24. Juniper - January 13, 2011 3:23 AM
Hey, guess what #22? Most art students actually WIND UP working at Domino's, so stfu.
25. Equivocal - January 13, 2011 4:12 AM
How would the manager know what the guy did when he got home? Why would he include that in the report anyways?
26. Blah - January 13, 2011 5:30 AM
#25 - "WHEN told to go home..."
27. Maria - January 13, 2011 5:31 AM
... and where exactly is this Whoknows, Orcares, USA? I call it bullschlachen.
28. sfgseg - January 13, 2011 5:35 AM
My guess is it's a joke by GW
29. Jonathan - January 13, 2011 8:35 AM
@24: Hey now. Let's keep things real, here. Not all art students end up working at Domino's.
Most of them end up at Starbucks.
30. Louis - January 13, 2011 11:05 AM
Am I the only one shocked that this was an Assistant manager and all he got was a warning?
Louis of http://aprettyage.blogspot.com/
31. The Last Mime - January 13, 2011 11:48 AM
@28
That's impossible, the geekologie writer isn't that funny
32. Muneeb - January 13, 2011 12:22 PM
@31 stfu or gtfo cuz GW is hilarious.
33. Self Deprication Guy...As far As You Know - January 13, 2011 12:40 PM
Well, since Domino's "New Improved" pizza is worse than before I'm glad I...err, I mean he got fired.
Anyone with access to real NY Style Italian made pizza that opts instead for Domino's is a lederhosen wearing bovine.
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884923078164062
34. scatze - January 13, 2011 2:45 PM
I want to get high with Rick James
35. meow mix - January 13, 2011 2:57 PM
I'm surprised whoever wrote this knew how to spell bovine and porcine but misspelled narwhal.
36. Jim Jones - January 13, 2011 5:51 PM
Sounds like this person was way too intelligent to work at Domino's anyway.
37. Marlboro Man - January 13, 2011 7:14 PM
I'm not sure if this is real or not but it made me lmfao! The whole "go straddle a narwhal, you chlorinated gene pool" thing was just fucking hilarious! I may have to use that line next time I want to get fired from my job. I don't know how I would really be able to use that line because I'm a Lead Supervisor and Co-owner of a HVAC and Plumbing company and I already talk tons of shit to my employees and customers. I guess it would be hard for me to get fired since I own half the company, but it doesn't mean I can't tell some of my customer to "go straddle a narwhal" lol just too funny!
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41. Fors - January 14, 2011 5:01 PM
I like how the Domino's advertisement comes up in this news post.
42. acornstu - January 15, 2011 1:55 AM
HAHAHA! FUNNY AS HELL!
43. Ed - January 16, 2011 8:18 PM
I remember when I used to have minimum wage jobs. I didn't care if I lost them and went to work high all the time. Then I would quit by just not showing up, lol good times.
Anyway, this is really par for the course over at Domino's. And they won't find better quality labor unless they're willing to pay for it . . . like In 'n' Out Burger.
44. *munch* - January 17, 2011 4:40 PM
@27:
wtf is bullschlachen?
sounds as bovine as the customer..
45. henry - January 18, 2011 8:34 AM
FIRST TO SAY FIRST! OOOOHHHHH
46. oddwala - January 18, 2011 6:21 PM
C16H16N2O2
Figure it out
47. leslie - January 19, 2011 12:49 PM
The funny thing is that I get an ad of domino on the right side of the screen... Not sure I want to order right now... :P
48. shazam - January 19, 2011 2:22 PM
Smeared lava cake all over himself and said I'M RICK JAMES BIIIIIIITCH!!!... that had to be the funniest thing ever seen in american history.. I wish someone would have recorded that,and youtubed it. That is what I would have done. If i was working at Dominos that night!