Jan 17 2011CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE A DINOSAUR: Scientists Promise Woolly Mammoth Cloning


Thanks to a new breakthrough in cloning technology, scientists are claiming we could have real-life woolly mammoths lumbering around Jurassic Pleistocene Parks in as little as four years. Really? THEN CUT THE CRAP AND GIVE ME A DINO ALREADY YOU WOOLLY WANKERS.

Previous efforts in the 1990s to recover nuclei in cells from the skin and muscle tissue from mammoths found in the Siberian permafrost failed because they had been too badly damaged by the extreme cold.

But a technique pioneered in 2008 by Dr. Teruhiko Wakayama, of the Riken Centre for Developmental Biology, was successful in cloning a mouse from the cells of another mouse that had been frozen for 16 years.

Now that hurdle has been overcome, Akira Iritani, a professor at Kyoto University, is reactivating his campaign to resurrect the species that died out 5,000 years ago.

He intends to use Dr Wakayama's technique to identify the nuclei of viable mammoth cells before extracting the healthy ones.

After scoring a viable nuclei, they just inject that sucker into the egg of an African elephant, slap the whole thing up its vaj and, 600-days of gestation(!!!!!!!!111) later, a woolly mammoth plops out! Simple as that (just grosser to watch). Just sayin', you ever seen an elephant give birth before? Like the biggest vagina you've ever seen blowing a bubble. (VIDEO IS PUKEY AS HELL -- YOU'VE BEEN WARNED)

Mammoth 'could be reborn in four years' [telegraph]

Thanks to Eric, Mr. Sausage, antoine, Riku, Emma, TB-303 and BritNY, who question why scientists even want to clone a woolly mammoth considering you could just, oh I don't know, GLUE A SHAG RUG TO AN ELEPHANT.

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Reader Comments



Darn. You win XD


tss tss...yeah but didn't they learn anything from the first two movies...tss tss....

dude, they said they were cloning a mammoth 4 years ago. what happened to that one?


tss tss...there were three of them dummy, stop trying to tell jokes you aren't as funny as me ya know...tss tss....

@2 You're an idiot. And so are your parents for failing to abort your failing ass with a rusty coat hanger and a turkey baster because yeah your Mom likes it rough. just sayin

Mammoth: "Why the hell is it so damn hot?"
*drops dead*

We'll name him Harry!

he'll be so overheated from the global warming we'll have to shave him

professional mammoth shaver... sounds like the right career path for many imo

I can see it already. There will no longer be an endangered species list because hey we can clone new ones! "Hunting season is closed this month so that our cloning facilities can replenish the fields"

go perform felatio on some homeless n(i)gger hobo, proceed to die chocking on buckets & buckets ya f(a)ggot smurfin f(u)ck nut

That's it! promise made! it's on!

Louis of http://aprettyage.blogspot.com/

I see where mammoth cloning is plausible on account that they have DNA preserved in ice. Dinosaur DNA, perhaps there is some left but I've yet to hear of it, has been replaced in its entirety by minerals.

Wait a minute... we're letting a guy named AKIRA do SCIENCE?!

And we need mammoths why?

While this is very cool, I don't know what we would do once we make it. Where would it live? It would have to live in a cold environment so it wouldn't die from the heat, and we're running out of those year after year. And do they plan on making more? While this sounds like a plausible way to revive the species aren't all clones infertile?

'cause mammoths are cool ...

and being able to clone dead things helps spit on the crater we dumped all our burnt holy books into.


Perhaps the implications here are more towards cryogenics for interstellar travel?

@19: As for the fertility of clones, I bet you're thinking of a plot device, likely from Jurassic Park.


I imagine a lot of hype around the birth and then, right after, there will be this air of "now what?".

Sweet! I can't wait to make it into a rug! Gonna suck to trip over the tusks in the middle of the night though.........

Wild elephants are already dieing because of human expansion, no way the mammoth will survive in the wild the way the the world is now. There is no place for the thing except the zoo, even the zoos have no special enclosure to house a mammoth... think before the thing is cloned damn it!

took em this long to learn from jurrasic park eh?

According the Wikipedia .... mammoths have already been cloned, leading to a resurgence in the elephant population.

Elephants are actually hairless mammoths.
And mammoths are hairy elephants.

They should also clone:

600 days gestation period?! No wonder they went extinct...

There is a distinct possibility it will work, though clones often have problems. They have successfully cloned the extinct Ibex (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/4409958/Extinct-ibex-is-resurrected-by-cloning.html), so a mammoth may be the next formerly-extinct creature to emerge!

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