Dec 3 2010Timeline Of The Best Christmas Presents


Note: Please don't squint and damage your eyes -- God knows they've already suffered enough from all the masturbating. Click HERE to see a high-res version.

This is the (Subjective) Timeline of the Best Gifts Ever. I guess it's not really Christmas-specific like I mentioned in the title, but I'm a liar and I have a drinking problem. Anyway, I was born in '81 so the chart is only a year off for me, and fairly accurate. As a matter of fact, the only things on the list I've never had are the Fashion Plates and Clueless shoes (although I specifically asked for both), iPod, camera, iPad and iPhone 4. Which -- WTF is up with all the Apple stuff anyway? STOP ASKING FOR THAT STUFF, FOLKS. Fun fact: every time a stocking is stuffed with an Apple product instead of something from Santa's workshop Santa has to murder an elf because he doesn't have the heart to lay them off. Do you want that on your head? I don't. But a propeller beanie? Absolutely.

The Subjective Timeline of the Best Gifts Ever [milo]

Thanks to The Lion The Witch and the HJ, who, OH REAL MATURE!

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Reader Comments

I used to play with broken glass.

You're missing the future ones! Without them this is no use. tip: Nike Magz.

Louis of

sugar ray?


@ 1 lol!

A dude obviously made this.

This is six years ahead of me, but i still got all the same gifts at the same ages. I guess my parents were cheap asses. Also I got them for Hanukkah and not Christmas, so that kinda makes sense.

.... *sigh*. Really?

Louis (of nowhere in particular) - you're cramping my style. No one will read my blog if they think I'm you.

Louis of

I'm a Canadian from 1988, and I hadn't actually heard of Playstation until after I had a Nintendo 64. Also, if the only thing a 30 year old has to look forward to is a beer pong game on a digital picture frame, I never want to grow up.

@7 no one will read your blog because it is shit and your advertising of it makes you no better than the average spammer hawking designer handbags or

spam off you fucking spammer

@9 you are a Good Sir!!

That's about right...Guys get all the cool toys and we girls get the plastic pony that does nothing...

you get dildos

.... *sigh*. Really?



this entire blog is institutionalized spamtropolis.

confirm your style here, then step into the line and march ... buncha tools.

I got 90% of the boy's presents and I have a vag. Guess my parents were trying to make up for their lack of son....

I got 90% of the boy's presents and I am a vag. I didn't have a lot of say about what got stuck inside me. That mountain bike was an ordeal.

@18 LMFAO! Please go on and tell us about your ordeal with the mountain bike.
I still have most of my HE-MAN and Transformer toys from the 80's. Now my son plays with all of my old toys. Good thing I took care of them and kept them for all these years, because my son loves to break them to pieces. I should of just sold them on e-bay. What's worse, selling off your childhood memories or watch them get smashed by a 5 year old lol.

Wow... Looking at this made me feel really old. I remember when I got one of the 1st Gameboys for my birthday. I played that thing for 72 hours straight, and now my eyes are ruined. Curse that tiny horrible spinach green screen!

awesome toys, i like yes

All I want for Xmas is a Geekologie app.

@20 Seth wtf is wrong with you? This whole thing of copying and pasting everyone's comments is retarded. Why don't you do something useful like use your face as a vagina and go get it double fisted by a couple seasoned boxers till you hemorrhage to death . That or go off and anal rape yourself with a huge handful of used syringes from a hospital and then die from every STD known to man. Just make sure you do this quickly so we don't have to be annoyed by your retarded shit anymore. You're as bad as these damn spammers who should all just die from cancer of the asshole. Dumb twats!

No Lego in sight? Or Star Wars toys from the early 80s? Obviously the people who contributed to this had dull, lifeless childhoods.

Well, Human Horn does go for a hefty price on the alien black market. Unicorn parts must have some comparable value that the Germans are aware of.


*brought to you by Steve Jobs

Why's the Playstation on the list? The Nintendo 64 was always better and it's what everyone wanted. Only losers had the playstation, most of them are still waiting for the title screen to load.

i find the female version HIGHLY inaccurate... and stoopid.
and where the hell is polly pocket.

Fuck this timeline, it's almost 2011 and we're still dividing things into boy and girl categories? This is bullshit.

wtf? Boys get the ipad while girls get the iPhone4? Thats ALL KINDS OF WRONG!

@2010... Bullshit...

yeah the girl side is crappy and inaccurate, i mostly got the "boys" toys... but keep in mind, the girls who are on this site specifically are probably the ones to say the same thing. the only thing that was accurate for me was the pony. mine had glitter!


Why is the "G" logo used on the iPhone app "Gossip Junkie" in this ifo graphic EXACTLY the same as Geekologie's "G" but with a pink background????

GW, you've got some splanin' to do!

This list is crying for...LEGOs! Yup, that was the gift of like half the Christmases back when we were kids!

I love being told what the best presents are, especially when the whole thing an advertisement. Who ever made this thing, go jump off a bridge.

Obviously the person who made this knows nothing about He-Man figures. Prince Adam did not come with He-Man's armor wrapped (backwards!) around his purple cloth vest.

@28 Because the N64 had maybe a dozen games that were actually any good, they lost Square because Nintendo refused to move away from cartridge games, the controller was complete shit and totally overdone, Nintendo had to tart up all their titles by adding "64" to everything they released.

Unlike the Playstation, you couldn't get any games for the N64 on release because Nintendo screwed that up too.

Why Playstation? Because it kicked the shit out of the N64, that's why. Hell, the SNES kicked the shit out of the N64.

What the crap? I want most of the stuff on the boys side :o (I be female.) He-Man FTW!!!


If someone gave me an Ipad I'd fucking hope they gave me a gift receipt too or else that bitch is going on ebay. My gf gave me an ipod touch a few years ago and it pretty much lives in a drawer.

was this chart sponsored by Mac or something?

I was quite enjoying this until I got to the end. Who the fuck really wants an iPad? Stupid piece of shit...

Hahah that made my day @18

@17 Lucky I have a older brother and he got all the cool toys. Only lame barbies and play make-up for me >:(

I was lucky to get playdoh :(

When I was 5 I wanted stuffed animals... and 10 I wanted a Techno dog... and since age 15 it's been history books and skulls. :3

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