Oct 5 2010What Kind Of Zombies Are We Dealing With?
Note: Slightly larger version HERE for those of you with eyes in the back of your head that have to use a mirror to see the monitor.
Will you survive the zombie apocalypse? I dunno, I guess it depends on what kind of zombies you're dealing with. Because I'm gonna be honest: based on your intelligence and physical prowess, I say you're brain food for any zombie better equipped than those in 'Night of the Creeps'. That included Zombie Strippers. Which, if you are gonna be eaten by zombies, isn't the worst way to go (read: you might be able to cop a feel on your way out). Just don't come crying to me in hell when your last memory is a boob coming off in your hand.
How Dangerous Is a Zombie? [yahoomovies]
Thanks to Eric and Miss Bowser, who will both survive the zombie apocalypse because they have jetpacks. Lucky!
Reader Comments
1. Closet Nerd (◕_◕)┌∩┐my fingers smell like your mom........ just sayin - October 5, 2010 10:05 AM
I love Shaun of the Dead... just sayin
2. They mostly come out at night...mostly - October 5, 2010 10:07 AM
I think that the chart is a good concept but left out tons of other cool movies. Half Fail
3. Tygonjinn - October 5, 2010 10:13 AM
4got I am legend.... just sayin'. hemocytes are 0s0m!!
4. Jonathan - October 5, 2010 10:20 AM
Of COURSE zombie strippers are pretty slow and kinda dumb. Just like real strippers!
5. Enzo Matrix - October 5, 2010 10:31 AM
Zombieland is my bible...
6. death from above - October 5, 2010 10:41 AM
@3 those guys are off teh charts
7. George - October 5, 2010 10:47 AM
How is Land of the Dead not at the top of the smart scale?
By the end of the movie the zombies could shoot guns.... just sayin.
8. Gimp Samurai - October 5, 2010 11:44 AM
NO FIDO?
9. PinoyNinjaRJ - October 5, 2010 11:53 AM
So judging by the Chart's Legend, The zombies in Zombieland aren't undead, but diseased? Huh... Didn't know that...
10. Trioxinator - October 5, 2010 12:50 PM
Return of the Living Dead never gets it's props. They were the first zombie movie where the zombies actually were 'fast' running death machines. On top of that, they couldn't be killed at all!....no head shots or even dismemberment could stop them. Now that was an awesome movie,....and yea they could call for more victims and plan how to destroy you. Super smart, super deadly, unstoppable; Beat that!.....yea I didn't think so.
PS
only the fist ROTLD movie exists as far as I'm concerned. All sequels were made by A-holes.
11. Wilson - October 5, 2010 3:45 PM
This. in a t-shirt. I want it now.
12. cabbo - October 5, 2010 5:26 PM
Zombie Strippers was an excellent movie for pure zombie entertainment.
@9 I think 'undead' here means that corpses were brought to life, not living people to animated death. It's a grey area. But that wouldn't then allow the inclusion of the remake of Dawn. I haven't seen the original in a while, but I can't see them throwing off the radiation explanation of Night. I don't think radiation counts as disease, because it only re-animates already dead bodies.
The Day zombies were a hell of a lot smarter than the Dawn ones. 'Hello aunt Elisha', anyone? The Zombieland ones should be placed lower in intelligence too - the guy from ghostbusters doesn't count.
There are a few wrinkles need ironing out here, but a good idea all the same.
13. andy - October 5, 2010 6:09 PM
@12 Bill Murray .. not "the guy from ghostbusters"
also, how can you mention all these zombie movies and deliberately leave out dead snow ?
for those of you who don't know what it is, it's a german-swedish movie about zombie nazi's . sure, captions can suck, but the movie's badassery makes up for it.
watch it.
14. Lucas - October 5, 2010 6:22 PM
I can practice killing zombies n/e time I want at Darksyde Acres Haunted House in Jonesville, MI. They have zombie paintball, where you can shoot live(dead) zombies with paintball guns. www.darksydeacres.com
15. Alex - October 6, 2010 12:50 AM
quarantine should be listed as possessed, at least if it stayed true to the original Rec. which i think it did.
16. splashsos - October 6, 2010 1:22 AM
@13
Dead Snow is on there. Right under ROTLD upper right hand corner.......
17. Danny - October 6, 2010 2:41 AM
Not a single Night of the Comet reference. I am disappointed.
18. real - October 6, 2010 10:10 AM
There are NO Zombies at 28 Days/Weeks later! It's a virus, no undead people!
19. Miss Cadaverous - October 6, 2010 1:40 PM
Why isn't this a t-shirt?
:'(
20. Rob - October 6, 2010 3:47 PM
Laughing out loud at the zombie massacre reference at Darksyde Acres Haunted House in Jonesville... As the owner.... That made me smile!
21. joey - October 6, 2010 9:30 PM
@15
in quarantine they were diseased. It was like a high functioning form of rabies.
22. Francisco - October 9, 2010 11:27 AM
hi I see quarantine WTF OMFG pero por dios quarantine es la copia de RECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC NO me seais jilipollas
23. HURRRRRR - October 12, 2010 7:58 PM
@18
It's basically the same thing if you think really hard about it.