Oct 25 2010A New Hope Told All In Facebook Messages
Note: It's a two-parter. Second part is after the jump.
Because a day without a Star Wars post is like a day without drinking to forget how hard I suck at life (I could pull a blueberry through a coffee stirrer), here's Star Wars: A New Hope (AKA the first of the three good ones) told entirely in Facebook messages. Now, for those of you who haven't ever seen the movie -- uh, what the hell are you even doing here? Because if you're gathering recon for the jocks so you can all pick on me later you've got another thing coming. Namely, a call from my mom. Just kidding, I fight my own fights. With a sockful of arcade tokens. That's right, it's quickly "game over" for any would-be bullies! Get it -- arcade tokens, "game over"? What? I'm working with what I was given! (I was given shit for brains is the thing)
Hit the jump for the remainder.
The Entirety of "Star Wars: A New Hope" in One Facebook Thread [dorkly]
via
The Entirety of "Star Wars: A New Hope" in One Facebook Thread [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Rob, who uses Facebook exclusively for plotting revenge on those who have wronged him in the past. OMG -- same here! (Plus making fun of how fat/ugly people have gotten since grade school)
Reader Comments
1. pigbomb - October 25, 2010 2:55 PM
first
2. uh - October 25, 2010 2:55 PM
Shit tries way too hard.
Kinda like GW.
3. Chen - October 25, 2010 2:56 PM
Holy first?
4. Ben Kenobi - October 25, 2010 2:56 PM
This is truly unique and took alot of thought and creativity particularly in light of the lugi mario facebook exchange next week.
I expect another 5 of these in the next two weeks.
5. CL - October 25, 2010 2:56 PM
I lol'd . Repeatitly
6. eerk - October 25, 2010 2:59 PM
laughing at work.
7. Bobby - October 25, 2010 3:00 PM
At first it seems like it tries to hard but it gets good and ends awesomely.
8. wtf that was stupid - October 25, 2010 3:02 PM
Ok these are starting to get worse and worse.
Summary:
"Uhhh"
"I am a stormtrooper"
"WTF"
"lol noobz"
"durhhhh, insert weak plot reference"
"Sup"
roll credits?
9. pigbomb - October 25, 2010 3:02 PM
@ 3 this truly was a holy first not only did this post contain Star Wars but Facebook as well. My post was the holy first of all firsts. Pop culture exploded on Geekologie and I responded I truly am great.
10. McFeely Smackup - October 25, 2010 3:04 PM
are these things even slightly entertaining to ANYONE?
I mean seriously, if nobody gets any amusement out of these facebook chat things, can we just pass on having any more posted here?
11. yeah - October 25, 2010 3:05 PM
@8 :
You're obviously more annoyed by the form than the content. Single one liners ARE stupid and I can feel my IQ decrease the further I get through these facebook parody posts but the content isn't THAT shallow.
Pretty close though.
12. Shabbers - October 25, 2010 3:09 PM
@10 -
No they aren't entertaining or funny. But they are written in pretty much the exact style of "lol sup gaiz hay oh noes stfu wtf lawl" that seems to entertain LOLcat fans.
Come to think of it, that is GW's style as well.
"LOL I LOVE THIS PRODUCT I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH IT. THEN WE WILL HAVE BABIES AND THE BABIES WILL TAKE MY CHILD SUPPORT AND I WILL SAY WOAH PRODUCT, THIS IS GOIN TOO FAST - and then I will wake up it was all a dream, I peed myself" - GW
13. Dishy - October 25, 2010 3:19 PM
@12 we need an imitation GW contest. Like Hemingway. Maybe it can be in facebook-messages format.
14. weeeegeeee - October 25, 2010 3:22 PM
First.
15. Dishy - October 25, 2010 3:22 PM
How 'bout a Mac vs PC facebook thread.
16. Mih0 - October 25, 2010 3:23 PM
@12 - Sounds like somebody's skinny jeans are a little too tight. That's right, flip your ironic scarf over your shoulder, pick up your organic fairtrade wheatgrass haterade, make like a tree and GTFO. We'll play you some Alanis Morissette to cry to (no we won't).
17. Garrett - October 25, 2010 3:28 PM
very meh.
Chewie at the end was the only moderately entertaining bit.
18. sldkfjs - October 25, 2010 3:43 PM
Luke Skywalker: Turning on targeting computer
Obi-wan: Nah man, use the force.
Luke Skywalker: K
Fuck. I'm sorry but dialogue like that, whether a parody or not, makes me want to shove forks into eyes.
Yeah we get it, the Star Wars/Super Marios/ Random Pop Culture facebook characters are talking to eachother in glib online lingo!
Give it a rest.
19. Zigeal - October 25, 2010 3:44 PM
HOLY SHIT! Biggs and Wedge?!? I get why they're in every Final Fantasy now!
20. Copy Cat - October 25, 2010 3:47 PM
are these things even slightly entertaining to ANYONE?
I mean seriously, if nobody gets any amusement out of these facebook chat things, can we just pass on having any more posted here?™
21. Shelbon - October 25, 2010 3:51 PM
I heard that if you search for facebook on facebook, you'll crash the site.
22. SuperWoody64 - October 25, 2010 3:53 PM
Alderaan - "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
This one made me smile.
23. Pancakesforlunch - October 25, 2010 4:02 PM
Derpity-derp derp derp :P
24. SubZero - October 25, 2010 4:18 PM
Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?
A: A Sithy.
Q: When did Anakin's Jedi teachers know he was going bad?
A: In the Sith Grade.
Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.
Q: How many Sith does it take to screw in a hyperdrive?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in it.
Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?
A: Because the chickens Forced him to.
Q: How many stormtroopers does it take to replace a lightbulb?
A: Two; one to screw the bulb in, the other to shoot him and take the credit.
25. bloodysunday - October 25, 2010 4:18 PM
@18
nailed it. it's not really "glib online lingo" though. hard to define
26. fsda - October 25, 2010 4:20 PM
how'd they get the long time ago tag on their comments.
27. Daniel - October 25, 2010 4:41 PM
twas dumb
28. Sike Oh So Shull - October 25, 2010 4:45 PM
SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
29. Dougle - October 25, 2010 5:23 PM
The phrase is "Golf ball through a hose pipe"
30. Louis - October 25, 2010 8:59 PM
less good than i thought. Unless this was actually orchestrated.
Louis of http://aprettyage.blogspot.com/
31. Hunter - October 25, 2010 9:05 PM
Porkins definitely needed some representation in this one.
32. Hah! - October 25, 2010 9:24 PM
I got to "Boom goes the dynamite" then proceeded to snort blood out my ears
33. Kenlin Bros - October 26, 2010 12:23 AM
It's not Wedge who says that the plan sucks.
34. John Galt - October 26, 2010 1:25 AM
Han doesn't actually get Darth Vader. He hits some random Tie fighter, and then another Tie fighter freaks out and hits Vader: http://www.cracked.com/article_18719_the-tie-fighter-pilot-who-saved-day-in-star-wars.html
Han just fails.
35. John - October 26, 2010 2:22 AM
I have to admit I was amused more than I should have been. Mostly just that final line with Chewie.
36. Lex - October 26, 2010 8:52 AM
I thought this was witty and fun to read. I haven't seen the movie in a long time, so it was nice to read a creative recap.
37. jdghjh - October 26, 2010 9:22 AM
http://www.traderwear.com
Fashion Female attire
Gold autumn, personality Men's clothing + Shoes,
Travel bag that grabs an eye coat + Chao packet
Free transport
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
38. Steve O - October 30, 2010 7:26 PM
tl;dr