If Historical Events Had Facebook Pages

Note: This is only two of several, hit the jump to see all of them.
What if historical events had Facebook pages? I'd have a lot more friends, that's what! Psyche, they probably wouldn't even accept my requests. THE BLACK PLAGUE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO BE FRIENDS? WTF?! Oh my God, it's happened -- I'm officially a loser. Kidding! It's been official for years. I swear, one day I'm gonna move out of this basement and really make something of myself. And not a crash-test dummy either, although I am open to that if the money's good. I call the trunk!
Hit the jump for the rest.

If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses [coolmaterial]
Thanks to Marcos and teknikflickan, who're convinced the government sends them top secret spy intel through their mini-feeds. Okay, you two are officially crazy (WTF are you doing -- don't blow our cover!).
