Jun 23 2010I Told You!: Robot Sabotages BP Oil Leak
Robots, uncaring how they destroy humanity just as long as they do, have resorted to sabotage in an attempt to pollute the world's oceans and kill off all our mermaids. Not Ariel!
Earlier this morning, an undersea robot accidentally bumped into a venting system, which forced BP to remove a cap that had been holding in some of the leaking oil. With that bump, gas rose through the vent that carries warm water down to keep the icy crystals that screwed up the first top hat operation from forming inside the cap.Now, they need to check and make sure none of said crystals have formed before sticking it back on.
Accidentally my ass, they're out to get us. Wait till Poseidon hears about this, he's gonna be pissssssed. Oh, he already knows? THEN WHY DOESN'T BP HAVE AN ASSFULL OF GIANT SPIDER CRABS?!
Stupid Robot Makes the Oil Spill Even Worse, Somehow [gizmodo]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, Jagger, josh and Bernstein, who all agree the bot should be deep-sixed. No, nined. Deep-nined.
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Reader Comments
1. sdg - June 23, 2010 7:16 PM
woo!
2. Andrea - June 23, 2010 7:20 PM
This tragedy reminds us why we need to find an alternative to oil. My school is creating a liquid fuel (for use in humans built machines.... but use for robots is NOT allowed, haha) from sunlight. "Like" us & you'll show the gov't that you support clean, renewable fuel created from the sun. Make your voice heard http://bit.ly/a7CwfO And feel free to bring anti robot discussions onto the wall (but about how sun fuel is still a good thing)... the comments could use a little diversity
3. blueZorro - June 23, 2010 7:31 PM
@2 paragraph much?
4. sdg - June 23, 2010 7:36 PM
@2 surely u mean solar power not 'sun fuel'.solar is tryed tested and very old.if it worked we'd b usin it by now.theres simply not enough sustanable power from uv rays to power a car fully (unless ur ok with doin just over 5mph everywhere) aswell,electric cars dont work effectivly,the lithium power packs cant hold enough charge and the element to power hydroelectric cars (read: hydrogen) is simply far too expensive to mass produce.if there was a better solution the goverment would use it.
5. quaddmgtech - June 23, 2010 7:43 PM
why doesnt PB have an assful of crabs?
What did peanut butter ever do to you!?
6. charlyhigh - June 23, 2010 7:52 PM
robots are comming by....
7. charlyhigh - June 23, 2010 7:53 PM
Don't drink and robot!!
8. Hedonistica - June 23, 2010 8:11 PM
This story delivers the laughs!
9. Mike - June 23, 2010 8:33 PM
WTF is up with the Snorg Tees girls face?
10. sdg4DSD - June 23, 2010 8:48 PM
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site[ S E E K C O U G A R (C 0 /M)_]---a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends
11. TojoReeves - June 23, 2010 9:33 PM
That's not Goliath's robot bumping into an oil cap, that's his drink stirrer!
12. Ben - June 23, 2010 10:02 PM
OMG!
That SnorgTee lady has huge tits.
13. Frog - June 24, 2010 12:12 AM
Maybe it was Robo from Chrono Trigger.
PS. The year 2300 AD is coming, so the seas will become BLACK.
14. dparks - June 24, 2010 1:31 AM
I tell you what - Has anyone seen Megatron lately?
15. PoopyPants - June 24, 2010 1:57 AM
"AN ASSFULL OF GIANT SPIDER CRABS"...Sounds like the best porn movie ever. Or horror movie...Horror/Porn movie? I gotta copyright this before some internet de-scrambler catches on to my genius!!!
16. mork - June 24, 2010 2:34 AM
nice typo dickface
17. GINORMAGANTUAN - June 24, 2010 5:35 AM
i knew gw would do one on this!!!!!!!!
18. blueZorro - June 24, 2010 7:16 AM
In Soviet Russia robot sabotage you!
19. (◕_◕)┌∩┐Closet Nerd - June 24, 2010 9:21 AM
Accident my ass!!!!
.... just sayin
20. Samir Notgonaworkhereanymore - June 24, 2010 9:24 AM
Again, kudos from La, this is f-ing funny! I just read the headline for this at the gas station around the corner and thought the same thing. Tony Hayward holds the key to skynet, he just doesn't know it yet
21. xd - June 24, 2010 9:39 AM
Its funny to see how pissed you Americans are from an oil accident... And yet you keep destroying whole infrastructures and countries by bombs and bullets, made by you, sent by you. And justify it by false reasons.
how hypocrite of you.
22. shelbon - June 24, 2010 11:52 AM
wtf does BP even stand for I forogto? Bd pussy or something? cause that what I got last nioght.. form your mom..what ? cou nt it...I ahve got like 999999points and you have none oklus you're gay..just sayin/
23. Calyster - June 25, 2010 7:24 AM
hello first post here and good to see GW is a BSG FAN too :D well i just discovered that site today and damn this site RULES lots of usefull information about things going on so no need to watch the news anymore all what i need is here i mena i only wanna know new tech stuff and some stupid s*** to tell my friends
24. patrick j bair - July 9, 2010 12:30 PM
I beleave thay can take down a direction charge and set beside the vent with a maned or unmaned sub like what was used for the titanic. And blow that vent shut then clean up the mess and worry about retapping that vein latter. The longer we wait the more our sea life and the worlds wild life will suffer. signed patrick bair