May 5 2010What The Terminator Was Really Sent For

terminator-mission.jpg

NOTE: Video is after the jump dammit.

I always thought the whole John Connor bit was a bunch of bullshit. And you know what? I was right for once in my Godforsaken life. This is the video evidence proving what Terminators are REALLY sent back for. Which SPOILER ALERT: isn't to have sex with tanks and airplanes. I know, that was my first guess too. And not just because I personally want to travel back in time to have sex with old technology (read: dinos), but you know I 250% do and deserve it.

Hit it for the tell-all video.

Youtube

Thanks to PhilRules, keith, Grammar Hammer, Kara and callulus, who all thought the Terminators were sent here to destroy the future. Destroy the future? WTF does that even mean?!

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Reader Comments

Last.

all i have to say is, karma. try to take over the world...psh you deserve to be on the streets.

This was probably made in Linux. FTW.

OLOLOLOL YES HE PWNS APPLE

So B.A.

I just switched from rooting the humans to rooting for the machines...way to go Terminator!!!

@3
You can't edit videos in linux silly!

I suppose this is a guilty pleasure? I want to say, no problem, anytime to the terminator, but that the same time, I wanna jack his time travel technology and use it to get a dino to give to GW.

GREEK REVIEW
Minoans
Location- Crete, South of the Greek mainland and Mediterranean sea
Culture- Matriarchy (the women rule, like it should be ) aka Monarchy
Decline/Fall- three theories
1. Mycenaean attack- they took over, found evidence (weapons)
2. Iron Age trumps the Bronze Age- never found Minoan artifacts
3. Earthquake/ Volcanic Eruption( the most accepted theory)- a volcanic eruption happened, there is evidence that it truly happened
Minotaur (Labyrinth) Myth- Poseidon gave King Minois a white bull and expected him to sacrifice it in his honor. Minois then became fond of the bull and refuses to sacrifice it. Poseidon gets angry that he is not following through and casts a spell on Minois’s wife, making her fall in love with the bull, then they produced a half man/half bull child called a minotaur. Minois put the Minotaur in the labyrinth to protect his people. Every year 7 young boys and girls are fed to it to appease its hunger. Over time a hero named Thesus arises and takes place of one of the boys that is to be eaten. He then defeats him, saving the people
Mycenaean
Location- Peloponnese
Culture- Patriarchy (ruled by men) aka polytheistic
- Unlike the Minoans, they advanced their culture by conquest not maritime trading , the Mycenaeans were more militant and aggressive
- They had a writing style of linear B which we have been able to decipher unlike the Minoans linear A
Decline/Fall- the theory that they were conquered and defeated by people from the North called the Dorians. The region suffered a severe drought which is what made it easier for others to come and conquer, through a long struggle they lost both of their land and sea trading routes
Homeric Myth-
Act 1(origin)- wedding banquet where Haleas and Thetes are supposed to be married
Act 2- Eris, the goddess of banquets, was not invited to the wedding, but she goes anyway and when she enters, she throws an apple on the table and announces that whoever possesses the apple will be the most beautiful woman in the world
Act 3- Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena all lounge to grasp the apple but before any of them can get it, Zeus steps in and stop it and makes a rule up of that Paris, the young Trojan prince will decide who is the most beautiful
Act 4- Paris chooses Aphrodite and she rewards him by telling him he can have anyone he wanted
Act 5- Paris chooses Helen, but she is already married to Spartan prince, Menelaus
Act 6 (rape of Helen)- Paris steals a good part of Menelaus’ treasure and Helen then sets sail for Troy
Act 7- Menelaus comes home to find wife and treasure gone and is then outraged so he calls on fellow countrymen to join him on retrieving her
Act 8 (The Trojan War)- The Greeks set off for Troy with main leaders of Achilles and Odysseus
Act 9- Odysseus is turned away by Prium which makes war inevitable.
Act 10- A 9 year war ensues between the Greeks and the Trojans without either side gaining an advantage
Act 11- After a long siege the Greeks bring across the Trojan horse
Act 12- Hector, the hero, is finally killed by Achilles
Act 13- Helen is finally taken back to Greece
Trojan War
Myth- the battle is fought because of the rape of Helen
Heimrich Scheilman says there was a war; he found evidence of several Troys, found Mycenaean things, residue of fire and fortifications being built
Time- 1194- 1184 B.C.
Source- Homer
Battle- between Kin Agamemnon (Mycenaean Greeks) and Achilles; Odysseus vs. King Prium (Trojan forces) consisting of Hector also.


Hesiod
Works and Days
about- poem about morality, concerned about the problems of mankind, general guide about how to prosper and live in Greek world
themes- morality, moral decay, frugality, prudence, how to be a successful farmer
-Story line- First Persius, Hesiod’s brother, tricks Hesiod out of the fair share of his father s inheritance. Hesiod warns Persius and all other deceivers in the world that decent people should not behave like animals in the jungle. Disobeying the gods and deceiving fellow man will eventually lead on to a life of disaster, Hesiod brings up Primethius who stole fire and gave it to the cavemen. Corruption is everywhere and mankind has been in a state of decay since the beginning.
-Stages of Mankind
Golden Age (Cronus)- man walked freely with God, peace and harmony with gods existed, men didn’t have to work, nature provided food needs, men lived very long lives and kept youthful appearances, when people died the souls lived on in the gardens
Silver Age (Zeus)- man live less than 100 years, men constantly fighting, four seasons for agricultural purposes, men argued with Gods, Zeus kills everyone, spirits sent to the underworld
Bronze Age (Zeus)- Men are fierce, warlike, learn crafts of war, catastrophic floods and warfare wipes out mankind again, people sent to underworld and forgotten
Heroic Age (Zeus)- men improved ways (in the eyes of Zeus), noted for being noble, courageous, virtuous, after death they go to Elysium
Iron Age (Zeus)- age of corruption, man lives in constant turmoil, misery, evil overshadows good, time of misery; might makes right, Zeus kills them all again, time where Hesiod lives and parallel to every age people have lived in
Theogony- origin and descent of the gods, or an account of this
Polis
Another way if saying city-state .It was a formation of various clans and tribes who came together to form a collective unit. This was the testing of grounds for democracy, aristocracy, communism, totalitarian, dictatorships, and monarchy. Bizarre and free type= free democracy.
Oganization-
I. Acropolis- highest point city-state, served as 2 functions.
1. Citadel- place of protection against armies, state sanctuary for religious symbols
2. State sanctuary for religious symbols
II. Agora
Commerce and Business center of the city-state
-place where business took place- banks, trading- seven hundred yard wide area surrounded by business and homes
Political Center
-debates, trials, fines, anything that dealt with government policies, was the community center of ancient world
III. Pastureland
- 75% or higher of the city-state- place of agriculture- crops are grown to feed the city
IV. Wasteland
- Area for mining and quarrying- could get raw materials, chorine goes deep down into earth
Columns
In order from top to bottom of parts of column- cornice, trieze, capital, architrare, shaft

Persian War
Phase I- Marathon
Time- 490 BC
Source- Herodotus (father of history)
Background- the great Cyrus, Perian King, decided to sweep down the North Aegean and conquer many Greek islands and colonies. Aristagoras, king of Melotus, is an agent, a provocateur and made the Persians feel like an ally and made Greeks feel like he was an ally too. (a “playa” according to Digenova). Aristagoras sent people to Athens saying if he supports him then he will revolt against the Persians. He gets the support, calls it the Ionian Revolt. Old Cyrus is not happy and dies soon afterward. Darius ( nephew) is enrages and seeks revenge
Battle of marathon: Darius raises a large army and navy to attack the Greeks
Military Forces-
Persians- 50,000 troops and 600 ships
Athenians- had 10-12 thousand troops, the troops were called hoplites
Strategy- Persians used overwhelming force and numbers to crush the Greeks. Athenians to use to flanking maneuvers and local terrain and environment to their own benefit
Greeks- Greek general Mitildes was a “genius” (according to DiGenova) he did mad suicide dash of 2000 people into the Persian line and disassembled them before they could regroup, he knew that he wouldn’t win but at least slowed them down to a point where they could be handled. They moved all the Persians to the middle by this tactic, leaving them without a cavalry. 6400 Persians died while 192 Athenians died
Impact- Athens is now the undisputed leader of the Greek world but Persia still controls most of the known world.


Phase II
Battle of Thermopolyea
Time- 180 BC
Source- Herodotus
Background- Xerxes (now controls Persia) creates a humongous army to once and for all defeat the Greeks
Battle- Xerxes takes forces of Thermopylea
Military Forces- Persians have 150,000 and 800 ships. Greeks call on 29 different city-states throughout the mainland of Greece for supplies and troops, acquired about 50,000
Strategy- Persians (2 parts)
1st- to sail South and control the Southern region of Greece
2nd- to go by land by Hellespont and control the Northern parts of Greece with the ultimate goal of surrounding Greeks from North to South
Themosticles, the Greek general, decided to send forces North to meet Persians, he knows forces cannot defeat Persians, the goal is just to slow them down enough to he can build a massive navy. Greeks discovered mines of West Greece had silver, sold silver to get lumber to build ships. Mines were sold and came at a good time
A storm comes along while Xerxes is trying to build a bridge to defeat Greeks, the storm slows them down and brings more time. Xerxes is angry and builds another bridge then yet another storm comes and destroys land. Third time’s the charm for the land bridge, which finally gets built. Brings 20-40 thousand troops, narrow pass in the mountains. 50,000 in waiting, they only have 8-12 thousand to close vicious fight. Greeks push back Persian forces, a 3 day pushback. On the fourth day, Epiphiades (ultimate Greek fighter) goes to Xerxes. He allowed the Persians to surround Greeks, 3 thousand Spartans made a last stand. Called this a pyrrhic victory
Impact- Persians won but it was a hollow victory. Greeks stalled enough hto build navy they wanted. They built a single best game changer. Trireme- this ship is 120 feet long, very anrrow, keel and haul were almost level with the water and the ship was built for speed and mobility not for ocean travel and or warfare, rather for fighting in channels or straights. 20 captains and officers, 8-12 archers, 20-25 mariners/hoplites. The front had 5-8 foot bronze battering ram, the average speed for a boat was 4 knots, a trireme was 8-12 knots, rowers were very well trained, could decimate Persian ships quickly.
Trireme
Trireme- this ship is 120 feet long, very anrrow, keel and haul were almost level with the water and the ship was built for speed and mobility not for ocean travel and or warfare, rather for fighting in channels or straights. 20 captains and officers, 8-12 archers, 20-25 mariners/hoplites. The front had 5-8 foot bronze battering ram, the average speed for a boat was 4 knots, a trireme was 8-12 knots, rowers were very well trained, could decimate Persian ships quickly.
Phase III Salamis
Time- 480 BC
Source- Herodotus
Background- After the battle of Thermopolyea, Persians continue to control Greek mainland, this forces people to go to Salamis.
Battle- Persians set sail for Salamis to defeat the Greeks
Strategy-
Persians- they deal the final blow to Greeks causing them to destroy their navy
Greek- want to force or make Persians bring the battle to them, Themosticles played a game of deceit where he sent various agents to the mainland to spread rumors that the country (Greece) was fractured, and told them it would be “easy as pie” to defeat the Greeks.
Military forces
Persian- 1200 ships
Greeks- 4-5 hundred triremes
Battle of Salamis
1st- 1/3 of Persian ships destroyed do to rough water
2nd- Persian rowers and crew were exhausted when finally got to the straits
3rd- Persians went further and further on the straits, Greek ships drifted further and further back
4th- Greeks reached optimum, then reversed course and smacked into all of the Persian ships, decimating them all- sunk more than half of the Persian ships
Impact
Greeks go on offensive, Xerxes “disgusted”, and goes to the North- Hellespont. South is now run by the Mardonies
Phase IV Platae
Source- Herodotus
Time- 479 BC
Background- after Salamis, Greeks are now taking the fight to the Persians
Battle
Strategy-
Persians- retain the North- regions and prevent Greeks from regaining lost lands
Greeks- continually move Northward and fast as possible while everyone is still together, use the window of opportunity
Military Forces
Persians- ~120 thousand
Greeks- ~30-40 thousand
Battle-
Day 1- Persians lead force into mountain pass but the Greeks hold the line
Day 2-7 – Persians continue to go deeper into pass, Greeks hold but retreat further and further
Day 8- Mardonious sends force around to shut off Greek supply line
Day 9-11 – Persians continue to follow Greeks and push them back further
Day 12- Persians sweep down and cut off Greek water supply
Day 13- Greeks go to point where terrain is extremely hilly and rocky which eliminates Persians from cavalry isn’t able to be utilized and isn’t a threat, Greeks immediately reverse course and win
Impact of Persian Wars
Persians abandon prospects of attacking the Greeks
Athens is now most dominant power in known world, don’t control as much area but is still powerful
Sparta is now second most powerful in known world, now they will fight
Peloponnesian Wars
Combatants- Athens and Sparta
Source- Thacydides (first TRUE father of history) (according to D)
Time- 460-404 BC
Background- After the Persian War, Athens and Sparta are the 2 super powers that compete for control of the Mediterranean world
Cause- Hegemonic control – the 2 powers, Sparta and Athens are going to get as much power as possible, land, city-states, resources. They want as much as they can to compete
Phase I
Pericles, Athenian leader signs a friendship treaty with Argos, the one city state which is worst enemy of Sparta. Pericles forms alliance of Megera, which forms trade routes through entire world. Sparta is going to view these acts as aggressive act of war. A lot of small squirmish take place, Athens finally ensures for peace, once Persian sides with Sparta
Outcome- Athens doesn’t want to fight war with 2 countries so it ends up in a stalemate, after this period, a 30 year peace known as the Pericles age
Phase II
After 30 year peace, tension flares up against Athens and Sparta. Athens strength lies in navy while Sparta strength lies in army Sparta army moves North and completely surrounds area known as Attaca, in Attaca is in Athens. They set fire in hope to make Athenians give up. Athenians use navy to continue to go out to allies to get food and supplies to return. During the 2nd year, plague hits Pericles dies but the struggles continue on for years, each thinking they will prevail. Stalemate again. They then sign peace treat- “Treaty of Necius”
Outcome- both sides have severely weakened themselves in a moment when they should be rising, they’re weakened due to endless tension
Phase III
Alchialolades, the Athenian leader, ousted Nicias and comes up with a bold new paln, he wants to reestablish Athenian dominance. The plan is to basically take navy and sail to Syracuse and conquer that area and start building up Athenian empire- but these go wrong
- midway through hthe journey, he is called to stand trial for ousting
- Once trial is done and they go back out, 1/3 of navy is killed by sea storm
- once he finally gets off to Syracuse, they have had plenty of time to prepare, theyre all waiting with boats and navy, waiting to destroy and they accomplished it
Outcome
Persia, Sparta, and Athens are just a shadow of empire they once were, which makes them completely vulnerable to other people, a “sleeping giant” is waiting

Imraan. F*ck you.

That video is the most epic thing I've seen on the interwebs in weeks. And I just recently saw the video where Lego blocks take over NYC.

Imraan is 'Geek' not 'Greek'. Your on the wrong site you dyslexic fucktard.

dumb

Imran..go lick some persian c*ck if you love persians so much you taliban!

@7 Of course you can edit video in Linux. you can do everything in Linux.

mad video haha. win7 ftw!

@7 Epic FAIL

http://www.cyberciti.biz/faq/top5-linux-video-editing-system-software/

Finally a killer video that doesn't kiss apple$ ass! FTW

Microsoft....they strike once again.

good tracking...fairly good compositing..well..not so good explosions.. ...bad walking cycles.. :-p But cool idea no less!!!!

i cant tell is this real or not


So... what he's saying is that Apple is the good guy, and Microsoft is evil.

That would follow the logic of the films. The Terminator is sent back to the past to eliminate any hope mankind has of a bright future. If he meant it any other way it's not coming across.

Also - the pacing sucks on this. Too long a wait between "action" scenes.


So... what he's saying is that Apple is the good guy, and Microsoft is evil.

That would follow the logic of the films. The Terminator is sent back to the past to eliminate any hope mankind has of a bright future. If he meant it any other way it's not coming across.

Also - the pacing sucks on this. Too long a wait between "action" scenes.

Why does he have ROBOCOP'S feet?!?!?!

you'd think they'd have a better version of windows by then...

WOOT! DO IT AGAIN!

@22 and the fucktard effort to repost at 23

So what your saying is that you are a Steve Jobs cock loving fan boy and worked as hard as possible to twist this into your personal warped sense of understanding where Steve Jobs still lives at the emperor's post in your sad little world...

Yes, I see what your saying... you just wish you could have Steve's cock in your mouth all night. It's very clear now.

What a loser

photoshopped

OMG YES!!!

@imran: It's Geekologie not Greekologie xD

I think this video is actually pro Apple... the destruction of Apple makes everyone use Windows, Skylink hax everyone: We're fucked.

(Mind I'm not pro Apple derp)

I never thought I'd say this, but, I guess that Terminator guy isn't so bad after all.

That's the point of this video right?

Is the enemy of my enemy my friend?

I'm in just as weird of a place as I was when I saw that sexy Hello Kitty lady.

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