May 13 2010What If?: Internet Browsers Were Womens


This is old so you may have already seen it. And if so, congratulations, you just earned a gold ribbon in the internet. Please print out and mail 10 proofs of 'FIRST!', 20 comments completely unrelated to the subject, and 10 more calling the person who did post 'FIRST' a dickbag, along with a homemade bomb to:

Geekologie Prize Department

Put Your Own Address Here
Your City, State And Zip

I'll be mailing your prize back in a package that looks nearly identical to the one you sent me. Make sure to open it with your face.

If browsers were women [sharenator]

Thanks to Skylar, who actually gets a real prize for sending the tip. No, not really.

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Reader Comments


note: not a dickbag..

Dick Bag!


I would like to see the wedding singer preform the slap test to these browsers.

Nothing like assfucking a skinny bitch (chrome)

That picture with Safari is old as shit. I am pretty sure I wanked one off to that exact picture in the JC Penney swimsuit catalog circa 1991.

Old news is old. Chrome is a lot better now. Not a skinny skeez anymore by far. I finally moved from Firefox to Chrome and haven't looked back.

This picture is older than you, GW.

Netscape? Konqueror?

the IE woman is the best looking, who chose these crap models?

that was really stupid. i need that minute of my life back.

I miss NetScape.

It's in the mail! NutScrape?

@8 (Michael)
He's right. Firefox got extensions a while ago and they make it way better. It's all I'll use anymore. Someone needs to bulk up that skinny bitch.

When I'm in a hurry to bang something out or shoot off an email I use Chrome. Get's the job done.

Otherwise it's ol' reliable FireFocks. With lots of plug-ins. Lots. All kinds.


har har har, chrome has tons of extensions, u just need to look at the new tab page harder, or just look at the top right corner were the wrench is.

IE should be a fat whore, that would suit her right.

I like IE, but regardless of who you choose, wear a condom. I use Norton brand. I think of IE as the neighbor girl who got a drunk step father with bad friends and keeps all the money to himself, and her mom isn't around anymore, so she's had a traumatizing with physical and sexual abuse in her past. She's not the best looking of the girls, but she definitely was my first, and has improved much since I met her. If ever she hurts me, I only think is her past that has made her that way, and all she needs is a little understanding. Yeah, I talk to Safari when I'm not in town (On my laptop instead of my home PC), but she has just a tiny issue with communication (Facebook chat bug). But I can see a lot of my favorite parts of her at first glance (Top Sites). And what allows me to keep our relationship on the low is that she can keep a secret (private browsing). But now IE can do it too.

Where's Netscape? I think Netscape's photo should be Betty White - Fun, nostalgic, but only around for a laugh.... oh and you thought it was dead a long time ago.

Netscape Navigator: Really Old, good for you Geriatric-lovers.

@23, nuff said.

Oh Firefox, How i love you...

To answer to JJtoob

Firefox to me is like the girlfriend who will always keept me safe and gives me a lot of gifts just for being with her, she is always so caring of my needs and offers me so many different things to entertain myself, she is Fast, fun, and always apologizes whenever she freezes, she also always makes up for any troubles that i get, I can do anything in the world because i know she will be there, she will keep me safe

Internet exploder was my first, but the relationship was very troubled from the beginning, she has so many constrictions, she is so limited, and awkward, slow, doesnt talk to me for hours and freezes, i cant add anything to her, she is stubborn and doesnt do what i say, she is not trustworthy and difficult to handle, she kept trying to makes things right and reinvent herself, but the same problems always came back, she was not reliable and odd

It doesn't matter, once you knock any of these smuts up their t!ts will sag and the usb port you used to love to cram stuff into will be ruined forever. Have fun banging ur knob into stitches folks, that's right- your favorite toy just turned into frankenstein's [email protected]

@20 + 25, there's no way you 2 are talking about girls.. *cough cough hom0

First. Suck it dickbags.



^ ^ ^

homemade bombs on the way you little dickbaggers

Well, I just found this. o.o Sorry for the lame contribution. I'll remember to just make childish posts instead!

@27-28 your dickbags, @29 HIGH FIVE!, @3 fuck you...

hey! you can cuss on here again?! fucking great!

i think safari is great!

I love you FIREFOX!!! U FUCKED IE!

I think I'd have to go on Safari with Firefox. I love Google Chrome, but I don't think that's really her. The best browser is usually determined by personal tastes, kind of like women; so I have to agree. This post really make an excellent point.

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