Apr 22 2010Trustworthiness Of Beards/Mustaches Chart

NOTE: This is only a small portion of the chart so click HERE for the whole thing.
This is a chart used to determine how trustworthy a particular beard/mustache is. This is only a small portion of the tamer styles though, so you need to click the link above to see the whole thing. So -- how does your facial hair fare? Personally I can't grow any so I guess that makes me pretty trustworthy. You know, or 12-years old. Kidding, I'm 14 AND JUST GOT MY FIRST ARMPIT HAIR! *high-five* When I get two I'm gonna braid them. Plus add beads!
The Trustworthiness Of Beards [buzzfeed]
Thanks to lauren!, who agrees the goatee + mustache combo is far less trustworthy than this chart would lead you to believe.
Related Stories
Lincoln, What Happened To Your Beard, Bro? (03/19/2010)
Graph Depicting When Firefox's 'Private Mode' Is Activated. Alternatively, When Do Guys Play With Themselves? (08/24/2010)
Fish With Mustaches Attracts More Ladies (07/01/2010)
Neato: What Drives Video Game Characters (04/27/2010)
Study: Perfect Man Is A Facial-Haired Geek (03/01/2010)

Reader Comments
1. Jim - April 22, 2010 2:56 PM
clicking "here" takes me nowhere..
2. DH - April 22, 2010 2:58 PM
yeah what @1 said.
but lmfao @ the concept
3. Not Jim - April 22, 2010 2:58 PM
Jim is right.
GW, gosh.
4. The Sero - April 22, 2010 2:59 PM
Dammit, I wanna see the rest of the chart :P
5. Bisque - April 22, 2010 2:59 PM
It is fixed!
6. The Sero - April 22, 2010 3:00 PM
EDIT: Woo, fixed :P
7. h3r0 - April 22, 2010 3:04 PM
throw big old glasses on each of those beards and you've got yourself a pedophile!
8. Cartman - April 22, 2010 3:09 PM
Terrorist beard?
9. Jynx - April 22, 2010 3:10 PM
Hmm, Someone make a chart telling how to tell the difference between a Chinstrap and a Neckbeard
10. Matt - April 22, 2010 3:17 PM
I have to disagree here as the goatee has been an accepted sign that someone is an evil twin for a long, long time
11. Asperflux - April 22, 2010 3:25 PM
Long live the robots!
@9 the chinstrap is within the circle, the neckbeard is below the circle
12. cbobgo - April 22, 2010 3:34 PM
Wow, I'm unsavory. Who knew.
13. DZ - April 22, 2010 3:35 PM
i have a werewolf beard/mustache combo.
chicks dig it.
14. DZ - April 22, 2010 3:41 PM
.....on the interwebs....
15. FDSY - April 22, 2010 3:48 PM
HELLZ YEAH
Another win for the full beards.
16. Underdog22 - April 22, 2010 3:49 PM
Best one = Sidney Crosby
17. Liquid Tension - April 22, 2010 3:55 PM
damn u cant trust me.. im a werewolf
18. Yames - April 22, 2010 3:56 PM
Personally I don't trust anyone with a unibrow.... mom!
19. d - April 22, 2010 4:10 PM
Neckbeards is a cool guy. eh lives in his parents basement play wow and doesnt afraid of anything.
20. notthtelimejuice - April 22, 2010 4:18 PM
And here I thought the landing strip was a style of bikini waxing...
21. nye - April 22, 2010 4:23 PM
@16 agree, not sure if you could call that a beard though, but he is definitely dangerous! LET'S GO PENS!
Also werewolfe.
22. nye - April 22, 2010 4:23 PM
@16 agree, not sure if you could call that a beard though, but he is definitely dangerous! LET'S GO PENS!
Also werewolf.
23. nye - April 22, 2010 4:24 PM
aw fuck doublepost fail...
*preparing for scorn to be heaped up my head*
24. ConantheOfficeClericalAssistant - April 22, 2010 4:35 PM
Crom!!!!
25. Riot - April 22, 2010 4:39 PM
A "landing strip" is something else entirely... on the opposite sex too...
26. Huggy Bear - April 22, 2010 4:40 PM
@10 - I'm with you! This flies in the face of everything we learned about goatees with mustaches from Star Trek.
27. Dishy - April 22, 2010 4:44 PM
Is this trustworthy?
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/hidininbeard.jpg
28. ಠ_ಠ - April 22, 2010 4:47 PM
pencil beard offends me and shouldnt even count
29. Jaker - April 22, 2010 4:49 PM
What? Where the Hell is the "Gordon Freeman" beard?
30. L - April 22, 2010 4:53 PM
and where is the bearded lady?
31. Dutch Morrigan - April 22, 2010 5:27 PM
I don't think i'm on there. In which category does the "12~ days of multicolored because I'm an old man stubble" fall under?
32. lameo - April 22, 2010 5:31 PM
As a girl, I can assure you that we do NOT trust men with goatees.
Also, you would need three armpit hairs to braid them.
33. Zanatrek - April 22, 2010 5:56 PM
gaystaches
34. Jaded Icon - April 22, 2010 6:28 PM
@ 32
You can trust guys with goatees, just as long as they aren't twins, because then they would be the evil ones......
35. Durand - April 22, 2010 7:46 PM
So my credibility went down when I shaved down from a chinstrap to a goatee? Balls.
36. Dishy - April 22, 2010 8:00 PM
As a boy, I can assure you that we do NOT trust men named Goatse.
37. Durand - April 22, 2010 8:10 PM
Are you hitting on me again, Dishy?
38. Rocket Raccoon - April 22, 2010 9:54 PM
Chinstrap is STILL not the same thing as an Abe Lincoln... I wish this would get fixed.
39. alf - April 23, 2010 12:45 AM
What about the Fu-manchu? Ninjas and chinese monks are gonna be pissssed.
40. Beard - April 23, 2010 2:25 AM
Obviously the goatee and mustache should be dropped down to dangerous. I mean really? thats what the devil has. plus It was only cool in like 6th grade before anyone could grow facial hair and realized how lame it actually is.
41. pro - April 23, 2010 4:24 AM
wow, true, true and true!
42. Jas - April 23, 2010 6:04 AM
Hello from Germany everyone! Wow, these keyboards are only slightly different but still cause a lot of headache... (z and y are switched, ughgh)
Trapped here for longer than anticipated because of that stupid (but very cool) volcano.
Anyway... so, regarding the goatee, I think he should have added the long-goatee/mustache which is more like what the devil has.. a short goatee is less threatening I'd say. Kind of an out-doorsy type??
43. Travis - April 23, 2010 8:36 AM
"No facial hair at all" should be down towards unsavory.
44. Kalter - April 23, 2010 12:44 PM
Where is the Captain Price's beard?
Looks like the "Friendly Chops" but with less hair on the cheek.
I call it the most trustworthy of all the type of beard EVER.
45. valerie - April 23, 2010 6:10 PM
wtf? what about a fu man chu?? this site is RACIST!!!!!! hehehe.. seriously though, why arent fu mans on the chart?
46. apeman505 - April 23, 2010 9:10 PM
They forgot Snidely Whiplash.
47. Mayo - April 25, 2010 9:28 PM
Welp, now I have to shave.
48. hiya lady :) - February 22, 2011 2:47 PM
THis is soooo interesting :)