Apr 30 2010Gorilla Glasses Help Prevent Animal Attacks
Gorilla glasses make it appear as if you aren't really looking at what you're looking at (unless you're trying to see your own brain), so gorillas won't kick your ass for making eye contact. They also work for staring at boobs (wear them over x-ray specs).
The Rotterdam Zoo is giving away cardboard glasses that make it appear that you're looking off to one side; these are gorilla-viewing glasses, meant to avoid incidents in which gorillas attack visitors for making eye contact with them. The glasses' introduction follows an attack on a woman by an escaped gorilla...
The specs are sponsored by a local health-insurance company.
Well of course the glasses are sponsored by a local health-insurance company, that's just good business. Nothing drives up your premium like getting beat to shit by a gorilla.
Gorilla-Viewing Glasses Prevent Eye-Contact [impactlab]
Thanks to hildabot, who was once chased by a gorilla but remembered to stop, drop and roll like she learned in school.
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Reader Comments
1. naas - April 30, 2010 10:35 AM
NEEDS TO BE IN 3-D
2. fat tony - April 30, 2010 10:36 AM
FRIST
3. kingoftime - April 30, 2010 10:41 AM
does this mean i can smoke in the zoo again?
4. Tom - April 30, 2010 10:44 AM
I'm not going to any zoo where i need special glassed to avoid gorilla beatings.
Poor things belong in the jungle anyway.
5. RazorJack - April 30, 2010 10:54 AM
Quick! Avert eyes in a non threatening manner as to avoid gorilla turds being flung at great speeds... OoooH Shi--- - ... damn, wish I had those sideways lookin' glasses.
6. Pat - April 30, 2010 10:59 AM
So, gorillas attack if you make eye contact?
7. Ste - April 30, 2010 11:09 AM
great for looking at boobies on the train
8. MOM - April 30, 2010 11:21 AM
e mail me for tit pics
[email protected]
i love geeks
9. Donkey Kong - April 30, 2010 11:31 AM
@6 Absolutely.
10. naas - April 30, 2010 11:42 AM
@9 ha!
11. jk - April 30, 2010 11:48 AM
Great, now all you have to do is watch out for the gorillas coming at you from the side, WHERE YOU'RE NOT LOOKING.
12. JDawg - April 30, 2010 11:52 AM
I want some. Where the f*ck is Rotterdam Zoo?
13. ciao - April 30, 2010 12:37 PM
these are a bit too weird for me...I'll just stick with sunglasses.
@6 most animals especially primates (including some humans) take it as a threat...
14. paul. - April 30, 2010 1:00 PM
@8 Mom, I know you just got divorced and everything but you're embarrassing me, quit it.
15. Kirk Cameron's abortion doctor - April 30, 2010 1:11 PM
It also works when interviewing Tea Baggers.
16. Tea Bagger - April 30, 2010 1:22 PM
sHUt up yu soshalist and Stoopidist!
17. Vladeon - April 30, 2010 2:06 PM
So, basically, this won't work for black people?
lol @ institutionalized racism
18. I never back down - April 30, 2010 2:39 PM
@14 lol
I am still wondering one thing how often do people go into/gorillas get out of the cage? I mean if they made glasses so they don't kill you then obviously it happens TOO DAMN MUCH.
19. blueZorro - April 30, 2010 9:20 PM
These are raciest. Where are the robot eyes?
20. DKNL - April 30, 2010 9:21 PM
@12 The Rotterdam Zoo is in The Netherlands (Europe)
The dutch name for the zoo is ´Diergaarden Blijdorp´wich in a word by word translation would be, Animalgarden Happy-Village
Animal (Dier)
garden (gaarden)
Happy (Blij)
Village (Dorp)
The Gorilla in this story that is being talked about is a Male Gorilla named Bokito, it somehow was able to make an escape, but after that escape the area he lives in was changed so it can´t happen again... The new living quarters were given a nickname by the local media (yeah i´m dutch) ´Bokito Proof´
SO of you want the glasses...you gotta be in the netherlands
21. ifejwaih - April 30, 2010 9:34 PM
Sponsored by a local health insurance company, and one of the dudes has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth...
22. schmoogleman - April 30, 2010 10:16 PM
lol negroes gon die
23. Clairvoyant - May 1, 2010 2:03 AM
@12
Where is Rotterdam Zoo, you say?
well... let's see... http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=rotterdam+zoo
Well what do you know! It's in fscking Rotterdam! You dipshit.
This was all because of an incident last year where a huge ass Gorilla escaped from his area and attacked a woman (who apparently found it quite cute that the gorilla was showing his teeth to her in a threatening way.). Normally it's called Natural Selection, but in The Netherlands, it's "an accident".
@21 That's just Hilarious(tm)! :)
24. monkey giblets - May 1, 2010 4:37 AM
But what if a gorrilla happened to look at you from the angle the glasses were looking and thought you were looking at it? I want to see these in their testing phase Haha
25. trivial - May 1, 2010 7:54 AM
Don't these glasses look awesome? :D
26. As_A_Gorilla - May 2, 2010 4:35 PM
Why not just make all black glasses? Like some people have mentioned, the Gorilla could be at the angle that the eyes on the glasses are looking and you're not. You'd be screwed. Literally. Those are Gorilla bedroom eyes.
27. AceofBass - May 5, 2010 1:23 AM
@15,16 Silence! I KILL YOU!
28. he lezbo - November 8, 2010 4:48 PM
do they make them for black people?
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