Mar 1 2010Sucky: The Pooch Power Dog Crap Vacuum
The Pooch Power Shovel (the quicker, shittier picker-upper) may look like a leaf blower, but it's not. It's also not anything I'd recommend you trying to attach to your genitals, but you know what? Go for it. I'm tired of mothering you. And, honestly, I'm looking forward to the 911 call being leaked.
The cordless Pooch Power Shovel sucks the waste directly into specially designed plastic bags making them easy to dispose of (up to 150 on a single charge) and at first glance you might think the clear plastic tube provides an unpleasant view of the business being dealt with, but when used properly the waste apparently never touches the machine or your hands. At $99.50 from Frontgate it's easily the most expensive pet poo solution I've seen, short of hiring someone else to do it, and the refill bags will set you back an additional $19.50 for 50 or $35.50 for 100.
It doesn't seem like that big a piece of crap(!) if you're only gonna use it in your backyard (I'd still just set the mower as low as it'll go and shoot shit everywhere), but I'd never carry this thing on a walk. Of course, I said the same thing when they came out with 500lb dumbbells....
Pooch Power Shovel Vacuums Up Poo, Not Small Yap Dogs [ohgizmo]
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Reader Comments
1. Mr. Chip - March 1, 2010 3:25 PM
It sucks being first.
2. cabbo - March 1, 2010 3:33 PM
@1 That doesn't make you a decent person. You are still a firstard, and fail with a degree of completeness that only a firstard or a paedophile can achieve.
3. cabbo - March 1, 2010 3:39 PM
I can see someone confusing this with official council equipment, and punching the poor owner in the face for not doing her job and collecting his dog's shit. And then they fall in love, awwwwwww.
And he beats her, and she collects his crap, happily ever after.
4. Jon H - March 1, 2010 3:43 PM
What a horrible idea.
As you hold the handle of the device, it'll be spewing large volumes of shit-vapor at you.
5. cabbo - March 1, 2010 3:43 PM
@4 Because that's how handles work.
6. FreeDummy - March 1, 2010 3:44 PM
Not only does the clear tube provide an unpleasant view of the business being dealt with, but the two foot long shit smears you'll be forced to display and never able to clean will forever immortalize your unwilling duty as shit collector for your fuzzy little crap machine.
Up next, the Power Pooch Waste Receptacle stores your pet's leavings in a clear plastic bucket, conveniently mounted on a hands-free helmet!
7. cabbo - March 1, 2010 3:47 PM
@6 See that thing at the bottom? That's a plastic bag.
Dear God, why am I defending a shit-collector?
8. Mr. Chip - March 1, 2010 3:49 PM
@2 You obviously missed the irony. It's ok. I'll forgive you this time but don't expect me to pick up after you.
And this is still a terrible idea. Then again dogs crapping everywhere is a terrible idea too. Don't have pets. It's the easiest way.
9. TerrorBite - March 1, 2010 3:52 PM
how many fleshtube mods are going to come of this?
power pump 3000 bitches!
10. cabbo - March 1, 2010 3:54 PM
@8 If you hadn't simply stated you were first, and actually made a contribution there and then, you wouldn't have been a firstard. You are.
@9 Only one, and you will be the creator. To the lab, good man!
11. ObamaPacman - March 1, 2010 3:59 PM
WTF is with the clear tube? Too early for April fools...
@1, @2
LOL
12. cabbo - March 1, 2010 4:02 PM
@11 It's basically the traditional 'inside-out-plastic-bag' routine, except with a vacuum rather than a hand. The clear plastic tube sucks up the bag and the waste at the same time, and hey presto, you've got shit-in-a-bag.
13. Mr. Chip - March 1, 2010 4:07 PM
What happens if you have one of those dogs that's practically the size of a horse? Do they have an upgrade for that? You'd have to rev that thing up to get anywhere with these Cujo dogs.
14. malb - March 1, 2010 4:11 PM
...the waste apparently never touches...
keyword being "apparently"
15. cabbo - March 1, 2010 4:11 PM
@13 A funnel.
These guys should hire me to sell this crap. Fuck it, it's a stupid idea, and I dislike the idea of owning a dog anyway.
16. cabbo - March 1, 2010 4:13 PM
@14 Unless the plastic bag it's kept in rips. Which I suppose it could, but they did say it was a special design.
Oh, fuck, I just can't stop justifying this thing.
17. cabbo - March 1, 2010 4:14 PM
"The cordless Pooch Power Shovel sucks the waste directly into specially designed plastic bags."
And that's it. That's all. I'm done.
18. cabbo - March 1, 2010 4:15 PM
Speaking of shit, Sony are dicks. I wanna play Heavy Rain.
19. em - March 1, 2010 4:30 PM
we have this, where i work, the 'poover': http://www.islington.gov.uk/Council/CouncilNews/PressOffice/2009/08/PR3927.asp
20. How now, brown cow? - March 1, 2010 4:41 PM
Said the man to the refuse technician, "How's business lately?"
"Oh, picking up."
But seriously, if you have a large order of tater tots to pick up - no problem. But, how about a dump the consistency of a warm fudgesicle?
Hmmm - what's for dinner?
21. Melonie - March 1, 2010 4:55 PM
@13 - I have one of those shit monster dogs, and there's no way in hell I would even attempt to use this. We had a double bagger yesterday, so I can't imagine the damage she would do to something like this.
Puke-a-licious!
22. CadaverBob - March 1, 2010 5:21 PM
So... you stick it on your dogs ass and hit the gas, right?
*jk*
23. Gordon "Fucking" Shumway - March 1, 2010 5:26 PM
@18
Way to highjack a thread, fucktard. Did mommy just get you your first puter?
24. Dishy D - March 1, 2010 5:44 PM
This might be useful for when I dress like a dog, put on a leash, and have the gf walk me around Pittsburgh in a glass-bottom boat.
But will it extract a gerbil?
25. ObamaPacman - March 1, 2010 6:21 PM
@12,
now I see how it works, interesting...
Still have to call it the Pet Pooch Fail System though.
@13
the UPGRADED VERSION
http://failblog.org/2008/07/23/slide-fail/
Folks, either I'm in a laughing mood or the comments are epic! Keep it up
26. Shecky - March 1, 2010 6:41 PM
What a crappy product!! (budumtsssss)
27. Adrian Sands - March 1, 2010 7:52 PM
I hope for that much money the device has a reverse setting, so you can fire it at the neighbor whose dog left "dog dirt" on your lawn.
28. atheistgirl - March 2, 2010 1:42 PM
What a crazy idea. If it goes wrong it's going to get messy.
29. cabbo - March 3, 2010 10:30 AM
@30 Same probably applies for every other pooper-scooper device.
@23 Sharing information is newfag? How about you take your bruised opinion of humanity, buy a gun, shoot up a shopping mall and kill yourself?