Dec 29 2009I See London, I See France: 3-D "Nudie" Scanners Coming To An Airport Near You

body-scanners.jpg

I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing, "holy shit, Han Solo in Carbonite!", but no. These are images of people using a 3D scanner that will soon be utilized in airports across the country to ensure you don't have any explosive material in the back of your pants.

The $150,000 contraptions, already tested in 23 U.S. airports, on their way to many more locations soon -- the TSA ordered 150 more of the machines.


According to the New York Daily News, many airline passengers said they were "all for whole body scanners at airports, if it means better flight safety."

Sure, why not? I'm all for better and more efficient screening procedures provided this thing can't tell a dress sock from a penis. I mean, not that it matters because I'm alllllll Gold Toe penis, baby!

150 more 'naked scanners' on the way [dvice]

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Reader Comments

Suck a dick!

but will it see the heroin in my butt hole?

: (
so much for taping a stash to my package on domestic flights

oh yeah, and FIRST!!

and i meant to say "i suck a dick!"

because i love to do that sort of thing. to suck dick. i love it!

Why did they have to model 90 year olds.... look at that underwear. The guy in the middle appears to be smugglin a sausage over his buttcrack & has terrible upper legflab

@3 Took the words right out of my mouth..... or rather off of my keyboard, i guess.
I wonder if someone could get away with hiding their stash in a fold of fat?
...... just wondering

Long live the robots.

somebodys smuggling grapes hahaha, just gayin'

I need to get a job at the airport! :3

I'm glad they blurred the faces like it actually matters...

IM MIGHTY TIGHTY WHITEY AND IM SMUGGLING PLUMS!

I remember reading about these a while ago on Digg and low and behold I had to fly to Hawaii from Salt Lake City a few months ago and like always I stashed my Oxy on my mini front pocket not even thinking anything of it and of course they singled me out to go through one of these things. I got through and looked back at the machine and they had an image that looked just like the one from this story on a sign right next to it (for a heads up or something to save their asses since they've already stirred up somewhat of a controversy) and my stomach instantly dropped since I's already read about them and knew how sensitive they were. After a few seconds some guy came over and said there was a "discrepancy" with my image and he did a pat down RIGHT OVER MY PILLS! Luckily for me they were still training and I had my wallet in my back pocket still (on the same side of my body as my oxy) so when he discovered my wallet he was just like "ohhhh ok it was probably just your wallet, there was a dark spot right about here". I was SO FUCKING RELIEVED!! That would have been a great start to a week long trip to Maui. Moral of my story: stash your shit extra good if your going through an airport that uses these things. Back when I smoked weed i would just put my sack in my front pocket and never had a problem.. I would NEVER do that again now!

Great! Now all the Filipino security gaurds at the gate will laugh at my icredibly small schlong.

@ 5, no naas, the middle one isn't smuggling a sausage, thats penis wrap around from the front....

@14

I have to wrap mine around my leg a few times so i don't drag it on the floor.

almostbustedbythese you're either lying or you're a fucking idiot. you don't have to "smuggle" pills on your person. you can simplly put them in your carry on with a fake / legit pill bottle. or even swap them around a bit. again you're a gigantic lying douche. kill yourself. thanks. :)

if you can see peoples junk then it should be illegal. its like having a store and saying anyone that wants in is going to have to flash me first. lame

no more air flights for me

I know. I'll just wear transparent clothes the next time I fly.

Or maybe just body paint.

I wonder if who'll sit next to me on the plane?

I'll get pulled out of line all the time because of my AK-47 shaped penis. Great.

It's not bad enough that irradiated while I fly, now I get my mandatory ct before I fly. I say, if terrorists want to burn their dicks off with explosive underwear that doesn't explode, let them. It's had to enjoy your 72 virgins when your penis is just a bunch of skin fused to your abdomen isn't it?

@ 20, I have an RPG-7, they let it go every time though..

You did not almost get busted. Learn how an xray imager works before you make up these wild stories. You wouldn't have had a dark spot where something was, because dark spots on xrays denote an absence of something, or a lower density. Plus, with the way these are rendered, it would have been a bump.

hrm...what's next? Exploratory surgery due to the fear of internal smuggling?

@14 I believe both of you... I hadn't thought of the ol' shlongwrap fandango, you're probably right

they have this at the airport in the city i live in

It's called Terahertz. This stuff is rad! One of the professors on my committee studies how terahertz can be used for all kind of applications. This technology is going to change how a lot of shit is done for the better.

Meh, these scanners have been doing the rounds in the shit rags here in England for about 5 years. personally I don't care seeing as i get a patdown either leaving or coming back to england. with or without a scanner going beep

@21

did you not hear about the guy trying to kill a saudi shake by ingesting about 10ft of explosive sausage and a remote detonator ??

exactly who is gonna be scanned... cos i'm think some guys may take advantage of this.. sayin someone look suspicious.

and from what age... cos then that raises all kinds of questions

Like everything else, in a few months someones gonna come forth a declare they got some kind of medical illness from these machines and they are gonna recall them.

@32seriously, so are they just gonna scan everyone? Even the kiddies. WTF not right.

Lol this kinda thing is just the Ultimate Irony United State goes contol freaks, do ya know who other big superpower used to be control freaks hummm?? USSR/CCCP aka Soviet Union xDD the ultimatr irony Long Live the "Free States"

Great pictures in London.

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