Nov 20 2009Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping


Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.

This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget]

Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.

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Reader Comments


Google...taking over the world one ass at a time.

Wow, that was fast! This page wasn't up for more than a minute ago.

Where's the 'I'm Feeling Luky' option?

Haw haw haw.

If I'm putting anything to my ass, it's going to be long, hard and smooth.

LMAO @ 5

I just have to lol at the translation. It actually means high absorbency, but i have no idea what virgin pulp is.

virgin pulp
1. The remains of a broken an tattered hymen. Usually comprised of viscous blood and tissue scraps that is leaked after a woman experiences intercourse for the first time.
2. What's left of the six year old girls before I dump them in a well.

pump lia nlki

who wants to fuck a 16yrs old hong kong man??

This will be the only time Microsoft gets to wipe it's a$$ with Google....

Ya know what, FUCK YOU Chewy!!!
I still have that "jump down, turn around pick a bail of cotton..." shit stuck in my head!!!!!! just sayin

virgin pulp is what you get when you put baby in a corner.


Although I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that I only wipe my ass with the finest virgins.

@7 Even still, high absorbancy, because you always!

But they're not lying, those virgins can suck.

Uh, Google, I know that people have said that they would wipe their butts with you, but you shouldn't take that as a business suggestion. You know, it's an insult...

It's 4 AM over here and I'm still enjoying this thought.

1. They're just doing what they've always done, searching for crap.
2. It's not the only time I've used google to search for turd.
3. Google has always been toilet paper. The way it brings together the pulp of the internet and turns it into a complex matrix of ultra absorbent fabric which is cheap and easy to use but then someone wipes their ass all over it. Probably in Vietnam.

number 2's humour was sort of lost. I was hinting at scat porn.

Thanks GW!

If you guys liked this try visiting ENGRISH.COM !!! It always gives a good laugh - it's a site devoted to terribly translated signs from around the world.

However, like all sites, pails in comparison to Geekologie! :)

Well. Now I know how google gets all the crap I look up. Ha ha ha. Laugh with me boy.

Ha ha ha ha ha- I suck -__-

why is everything related to turds today? i feel physically sick...

Saddening that trees that have been around longer then you and I are cut down to wipe your bottom and then to be flushed all within thirty seconds.

sometimes i use firefox to wipe my ass. just sayin'

lol herpes

@5 i would also stick something long,hard, and smooth in my ass
because i like it fast, IF you know what i mean...

I wipe my anus clean with my right hand. Just sayin.

@22 Sadening, or a testimonial to the superior species that is mankind. We wipe our ass on the competition.

I'm not getting this new meme. Just sayin'.

Google is the sh** and now they have their own toilet paper.

@19 i am forever thankful

Holy crap more awesome shit here..

geekologie is awesome btw...

You're proud of being able to conquer.... plants? You do realize that they don't fight back, right? Not exactly the most worthy opponent.
And of course there's the self-destructive element involved in destroying organisms that are essential for our own existence. Doesn't sound like such a great mark of supriority.
But if you do insist on rating superiority by who beats whom (the "rock-paper-scissors standard" that was so cool in second grade), then humans are far inferior to AIDS, Ebola, E. Coli, Rabies, et. al. Bow Down to your Masters!!


1: It's a joke.

2: We replant the trees. We harvest our supplies.

3. I didn't know the majority of the human race was destroyed by a single form of disease. Also, there are people in south africa who are developing a resistance to AIDS. We can generally contain most infections.

If, one day, humanity's progress (technologically and genetically) is overcome by a disease, or grouping thereof, I'll take it back. At the minute, we're doing pretty well. So, who is the master?

correction in translation D:

its not "very long"
its "very sturdy"

Green! Green!

This is fantastic, very creative! ! ! ! ! !

wow people come on get creative with names dont use the same thing. its funny but thats just it no one would care after some time.
so wipe ur a** and move on get a life. trust me haven a life is great u dont get bored any more cuz u always have somethin to do. i have to go to practice now see i got a life now u go get one.

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