Sep 28 2009Stop Smoking The Pew Way: Laser Cessation


Apparently laser therapy has been in practice for awhile, but did you know it could help you stop smoking? I didn't. I'm gonna put the pole down forever! Kidding -- I can't quit you!

* We highly recommend you stop smoking 1-hour prior to your session. (Not required)

* Therapy will take place with a laser technician who will gently stimulate acupuncture points, primarily on the hands, face and ear.
* During the session the emotional and psychological aspects of quitting smoking will be addressed.
* During and after treatment you'll feel relaxed, comfortable and peaceful. There is no pain associated with the treatment.
* Afterwards you'll be able to go back to your normal activities. Most notable effects occur between 18-24 hours after the treatment.
* In general, it takes the average smoker 3-4 days to rid the body of nicotine or its by-products after stopping.

So basically it's acupuncture with a laserbeam. Sounds kind of suspect to me. But who knows, maybe it works. Anybody quit smoking something (anything -- I don't care what) this way? Also, what the hell's about to happen in that picture -- butthurt smoking cessation? Cause that sounds promising.

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Thanks to Trevor, who actually smokes laserbeams because he's that hardcore.

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Reader Comments


first moo on a pew?

Heh, this works. it got me to stop smoking Leaves(and not the drug-filled ones) AND shredded pikachu remains. So, if i can, YOU CAN'T! Hah...

I cant quit smoking and wont cause smoking is cool and I'm kool

Wonder if it will stop me from smoking my boyfriend, he he loves it but damn my jaw has been hurting really bad lately.

Don't forget to cup the balls

I am not a medical doctor, but I am pretty sure that if you want to quit smoking you do not need to have some sketchy dude pew pew all over your back.

A buddy of mine was a laser calibration tech and got to talk to one of the docs from one of these shops at some conference. He called the doc out on it and the doc admitted it was total snake oil, but said as long as people were willing to pay him to do it, he was willing to let them hand him checks to help them believe something was helping them quit smoking.

I quit smoking in canada @ Biothera Clinics, they got a 87% success rate. Check out the webpage

That doctor is totally stroking his cock through his pants while he is excuting the laser procedure. Srsly, look.

I'd trust a doctor who wore those cool Risky Business sunglasses. (Yes, I know they're protection from the laser.)


lol, that is all.

Also, @11

They are not sunglasses, they are protection from the laser. LOLOMG duh.


Yeah, like I'm going to lay with my ass in the air while some "Doctor" with eye protection and holding his junk pew pew's on my back. Not gonna happen!

"You're smoking again. Our operatives saw you."
Pew Pew!
"Ow, my eye!"
"Smoke again, and you lose the other one. Now, get out."
"Damn you, Quitters Inc.!"

all comments are correct except ollie @ 13.........REALLY?
can't stop....must sayyy..... PEWWWW!
besides all that look at his tie! he is as American Capitalist as it gets


I would probably quit too if some guy theatened to stick a laser up my *ss....

Jade is that you?...Why didn't you tell me your jaw was hurting?...okay, I'll lay off the penis pump for awhile then!

Try Champix!

Stop posting advertisements as "stories"!!

Must See!!!

I got this done in my ear to quit.

Snake oil or not, I haven't had a cigarette since.

That was November 2, 2007

Quitters never win.

With or without "laser surgery", it'll still take 72 hours for the nicotine to leave your body. The withdrawal symptoms are most severe for the first week, lessening thereafter. Laser surgery doesn't really do anything to stop you from smoking, it's the psychological dependence on cigarettes that does it - The pleasurable association most smokers have with the habit is why they keep doing it. After all, we only do something when it's pleasant for us. Want to stop smoking? Associate it with something bad - Have a friend play music you HATE while you take your time to enjoy a smoke, or have someone nag incessantly at you while smoking. Better yet, add a flavour you particularly hate to a pack of cigarettes, and watch your enjoyment of them disappear. Still, it takes discipline and will power.

@ 25

The laser targets presure points( i never had it up the ass mostly ear, side of face and arm) it releases the same endorphins you have when you smoke but for an extended period, the first week is the hardest, good companys will give you 4 treatments, two the first week, and two the following. Places that just want your money will do it in one treatment which hardly ever works. Ive been a none smoker for almost a year know from cost me a couple hundred bucks, well worth it. I tryed quiting with the patch ( did you guys know its $30 for a weeks worth of patches and they want you to use it for 10 weeks) and the patch was a waste of money as its still giving you the nicotine. the laser rocks, if your trying to quit give it a shot!

it really does work my aunt is a laser technician and did it for my grand mother who smoke for 50 years and shes been smoke free for 2 years now along with my aunt and my cousin

I work for the largest, non profit smoking cessation company in the US. We do tell people to try whatever they find personally attractive, for some it's things like laser therapy and hypnosis, etc, however, there is no factual evidence that it helps someone quit. No matter what the clinics say, there is no scientific evidence that it helps someone in any way what so ever, other than mind over matter. That's to say that if someone wants to try laser therapy and they believe it will work, it will work the same is if they truly believe petting puppies will help them quit. There are many, many other less expensive, proven methods that should be tried until you really, really, really believe in laser therapy. In this same boat are hypnosis, laser, acupuncture and herbal remedies.

Most of these comments are made by idiots. People are reading the article to see if this has actually helped people...not read your lame attempt at comedy. Short answer...YES is does work. I just passed my 4 year mark of not smoking. I was a pack a day smoker for 30 years. I was referred by someone I do business with. She smoked 2 packs a day for 40+ years. She has been smoke free for six years and still lives in a house with a smoker. I referred one of my best friends. He was a two pack a day smoker for 30+ years and has just passed his one year mark. The person who did all of these in St. Louis only did one treatment and only on the ears...for under $125. If you're not ready to doesn't matter what method you try, you will fail. To those who say there is no Scientific evidence...who gives a crap. Look at all the people it helps. There's no scientific evidence that there's a God but look at all the people who believe without question. Quit making excuses and do WHATEVER you need to do to quit smoking and prolong your life.

I've tried just about every method there is out there and there is only one I can recommend - NLP! It eliminates the cravings.
Gum patches and all the other just did not cut it for me, not to mention cold turkey which was the hardest, I even tried the electric cig and it is just no match to the real thing.
Check out this article:
it’s the one that got me off the cigs and smoke free for GOOD even without gaining weight! :)
Good luck kicking the habit!

This doesn't work. I love reading the comments though. You can tell who is a clinic owner or hand their hands in the pockets of the clinic owners jerking the douche bags off. You're pretty much quitting cold turkey and the give you a feel good pill from the laser. Go to your primary MD get some valuim for the first week and WALLA... the laser treatment. Bunch of idiots. I can't wait for them to go out of business.

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