Aug 28 2009Perfect With A Lead Vest: The X-Ray Umbrella


The x-ray umbrella is an umbrella with x-rays all over the damn place. It does NOT allow you to see through a woman's shirt. Unless she's wearing white and it's pouring out, in which case, yes, it does do that. And I've got to tell you: as a guy who's broken his arm twice in the same place and now has a plate and a bunch of screws in there (I am NOT a robot, just a man with an advanced biomechanical arm), I'm no stranger to x-rays. Or those gamma joints. You hear that, Hulk? I will arm wrestle the shit out of you!

X-ray umbrella makes the rain not seem so bad [dvice]

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Reader Comments

You HERE that?

I THERE that! Way to go, GW!

2nd QQ

umbrellas are pretty gay. I'd rather get wet then carry around and/or use an umbrella, and the absolute last thing i want is one that will draw attention


Huked on fonix reely wurkz fur me!

@2 loser, firstarded 2nd.

@1 GW is always right! did you here me??? because if you didnt here me i can say it again, YOU HERE ME?

fifthtards? really? do you idiots really have nothing to say to the point where your whole comment is just a guess at which number post you are? I hate everyone of you number-callin jerk-asses.

Yeah we "here" you

@ 3 totaly with you on that one.

@ really hate life huh?

i sand in them. taking them umberrla into bones??? SHUT up mine god. i can buy this one for a what money? and rain is SMALL

@3.... you'd rather get wet, THEN carry an umbrella? why would you want to get wet if you plan on carrying an umbrella. and why dont you learn to spell you big dumb stupid jerk idiotic moron face ass ballser?

@12... smart-ass, you get the point.

@ 11 if you are going to make a lame attempt to clone me at least learn the language first... bet your a firstard, or a BathCaptin firstarded follower.

@ 12 Grammar police are around there with the firstards...

Geez bethy....
People are fiesty today

@14, I agree. The Grammar police should take their Grammar donuts and shove them up their grammar's ass.

Uh-oh Timbo, bethy the talk-cop is gonna call you a dumb face for spellin feisty wrong... Apparently we should wear cups around here because we get kicked in the nuts for misspelled words and misplaced commas

I thought I spelled it wrong, but I figured I'd leave it to generate more comments...



Thats nothing, LSDiesel once gave me a sneaky carl for ending a sentence with a preposition...

Yeah well I misspelled "than" so you're still in pretty good shape comparitively

sneaky carl? I'm strangely curious

screw gamma joints, i'm smoking a gram a joint!

@22 I don't know what that is either...I'm afraid to look it up.

@21 I can never remember it and "I" before "E" except after "C" didn't seem to work...

Fukc spellling natzies.

There are actually enough spelling and grammatical errors in the comments to annoy me. Screw you guys. I'm going home.

I liked this when I saw it on Flavorwire a few weeks ago.

Straight from urban dictionary...gross

sneaky carl
Sneaky Carl is defined when someone defecates in a single pantyhose and "sneaks" up on one and wraps the pantyhose around the victims mouth causing them to throw up.

I want one with all foot x-rays :P

What then can this x-ray umbrella do that a perry campanella
should do?
P C keep your comments relevant to the post.

@28 im very sad that i know that now

yay now i can see my bones when it rains an automatic xray in an umbrella amazing!

Must See!!!

I guess emo girls would like this........maybe?

xray umbrellas are like seeing women in sheer pantyhose. Hot

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