Jul 9 2009Death By Chocolate: A Modern Augustus Gloop
A man died in a New Jersey chocolate factory yesterday after he fell into a huge vat of melted chocolate.
Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat's agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.
The rectangular vat, which was 8 feet deep, 14 feet long and 6 feet wide, was churning a batch of chocolate for Hershey's when the accident occurred.
Wow, what a way to go. Also, I'm gonna hold off on the Hershey's for a while.
Man dies at chocolate factory [cnn]
Thanks to Alex, Jcon, Michelle, joe the human beatbox and Tad Bit Tipsy, who all want to fall into a vat of chocolate, then marshmallow, then graham cracker crumbs.
Reader Comments
1. Phil - July 9, 2009 10:11 AM
fake photoshop obviously 1st?
2. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 9, 2009 10:11 AM
Hey I think I found a tooth in my candy bar! Awethumb!
3. Jerry - July 9, 2009 10:11 AM
MMM, what a delicious way to die.
http://bootelicious.mybrute.com
4. Strongbad - July 9, 2009 10:12 AM
I am the all powerful Strong Bad! Ladies, form a line to my life for make-outs. Dudes form a line to my right for high fives.
5. Strongbad - July 9, 2009 10:13 AM
Fail...
I meant left. Not Life. Crap.
6. Timbo - July 9, 2009 10:15 AM
If only he would've died from drowning in chocolate (Mmmmmm)...not get smashed in the head.
R.I.P. Oompa Loompa
7. sup - July 9, 2009 10:16 AM
what a tragically delicious way to die
8. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 9, 2009 10:18 AM
@4
How come you never answer my email? Dick!
9. LSDiesel - July 9, 2009 10:29 AM
@4, 'form a line to my life' ....? Nice going fart basket.
I agree with GW. No Hershey's for a while. Don't wanna relive the 'strange meat' experience that happened to me back in the Capital Wasteland.
10. John - July 9, 2009 10:30 AM
Mmmmm. Chocolate covered union worker. Beats a bunny everytime.
11. naas in southern cali - July 9, 2009 10:33 AM
I couldn't think of a better way to go, except maybe drowning in a vat of chocolate boobies mMMmmmmm.
12. spleu3ge - July 9, 2009 10:35 AM
He was black... so... dark chocolate? WOAAAH! How about, good dark chocolate humor bar. wow.
13. /Eyeroll - July 9, 2009 10:37 AM
Lol, I had actually just gotten done reading this story on another site but this still makes me laugh. Poor dude was a temp... probably drunk, enjoying the factory smells and then BOOMPOW... he trips.
In my mind he was so overwhelmed by the chocolatey goodness that he never saw the giant paddle on its way for an epic headshot.
RIP Stonerboy
14. Daisy - July 9, 2009 10:38 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max had a friend who died from falling into a vat of beer (Not LandPhil). He asked his friends co-workers if they thought the dead guy suffered much. They told him they didn't think so, as he got out 4 times to go to the bathroom.
15. Brad - July 9, 2009 10:39 AM
My candy bar is made from people!!!
16. LSDiesel - July 9, 2009 10:41 AM
@13, 'Lol' is not an acceptable way to begin a sentence.
17. Timbo - July 9, 2009 10:44 AM
@16 agreed
@13 he wasn't a stoner boy! That was an oompa loompa! Have some respect for the little orange fella
18. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 9, 2009 10:46 AM
@LSD
What about,"HA!" or "HOLY SHIT THAT'S FUNNY!"?
Punctuation is not my strong point.
19. Timbo - July 9, 2009 10:49 AM
Or how about "This post is rather comical!" ??
Too proper?
20. Strongbad - July 9, 2009 10:51 AM
@9 Hey, form a line to my life can actually have a deep meaning to it.
@8 Probably cuz you don't sign it with 'crap' somewhere in it.
And to a-the ladies, I would gladly take a dip in a tub-o-chocolate so as to allow you to lick it off me.
ps. No Fat Chicks.
21. LSDiesel - July 9, 2009 10:51 AM
@18, Better. At least you would actually say those things. Any fool who goes around physically saying 'lol' should meet their death in a vat of chocolate.
Too soon?
22. blp - July 9, 2009 10:51 AM
I predict this is how Britney Spears will go except she won't fall in, she'll jump.
23. /Eyeroll - July 9, 2009 10:53 AM
@ 16 - To remedy this error I have snapped the ring finger responsible for said typo at the second knuckle. Hopefully it learned its lesson...
24. Timbo - July 9, 2009 10:53 AM
Or even, you guys are all fags?
25. STOMPY - July 9, 2009 10:53 AM
You know, its funny, these people go to work thinking everythings great everythings fine, wake up and they're drowning in a vat of chocolate...
26. Strongbad - July 9, 2009 10:54 AM
@21..... Awww..... Funny as hell. But awww.....
27. /Eyeroll - July 9, 2009 10:55 AM
Ohhhh ok I see... somebody forgot to rinse the sand out this morning. Seeing as my initial reaction to this story was to quite literally laugh out loud... I just started my post as such. I do however see your point that the internet is no place for web jargon (what was I thinking!?).
28. mmmmm chocolate - July 9, 2009 10:56 AM
@31 This is how you are going to die my friend
and now I play the waiting game
29. STOMPY - July 9, 2009 10:57 AM
I wonder if they use golaiths drink stirrer for that chocolate vat...
30. willie 'wonka' nelson - July 9, 2009 11:05 AM
Did a bunch of orange skinned freaks start singing a song about the dangers of vats of chocolate as they pulled his carcass from the mixer?
31. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 9, 2009 11:05 AM
@STOMPY
Nope. They use Shaq's penis
32. STOMPY - July 9, 2009 11:08 AM
@31
So thats how they make dark chocolate!
33. pez dispenser - July 9, 2009 11:19 AM
hersheys is a conspiracy developed by the government to slowly kill us with diabetes and falling in chocolate vats DUM DUM DUMMMMMMM!
34. Tad Bit Tipsy - July 9, 2009 11:20 AM
Decadent Death.... very bittersweet.
35. LSDiesel - July 9, 2009 11:23 AM
@33, is that really the best you could do?
36. naas in southern cali - July 9, 2009 12:09 PM
heheheheh, I like where all this is going
37. URGay - July 9, 2009 12:12 PM
@35, is that really the best YOU could do?
38. Timbo - July 9, 2009 12:21 PM
@24 stop stealing my name!
39. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 9, 2009 12:32 PM
@37
No. But this is the best I can do.
http://blogs.e-rockford.com/applesauce/files/2008/08/johnnycash_bp.gif
40. cmyk - July 9, 2009 2:02 PM
Why did you have to use a picture from the NEW willy wonka. It sucked ass and left nothing to the imagination. Gene Wilder or GTFO!
41. Xxvamp_killaxxX - July 9, 2009 3:20 PM
how is it fake this picture is from a stupid movie duh you guys are dum
42. naas had in & out burger today, fǖcking utopia I tell ya - July 9, 2009 6:17 PM
@40 great point. I had the displeasure of seeing the new one with a group of children when the moment was right(not) - and I cried for all of them with this terrible failure of a 're-make 1/2 way into it
It was just another sign the world is coming to an end & patheticness has sadly taken a lead
@41 if you only had a clue on how dumb you look newbzilla
43. naas had in & out burger today, fǖcking utopia I tell ya - July 9, 2009 6:18 PM
..er dumbzilla, can't decide which is more fitting
44. Hi - July 9, 2009 6:53 PM
There used to be a dessert shop called Death by Chocolate in my town. I guess this guy took that a little too literally...
45. DeeplyTroubled - July 10, 2009 3:04 AM
I sort of know a girl (she calls me "Mister" but in an affectionate & joking way) that bought a sympathy card today for a lady she works with whose nephew is this guy who died in the chocolate. I swear to god that's a true story.
46. kmath - July 10, 2009 9:03 AM
Too soon.
47. lazerface - July 10, 2009 4:34 PM
slipped off a ledge and fell into a machine,
another dead immigrant, that's the american dream
48. Satans Thong - July 11, 2009 10:01 AM
They managed to pull his iPod fromthe vat and found that the last song to be played was "Billy don't be an aero".