Jun 22 2009Yikes: Sharks Hunt Like Human Serial Killers

great white shark.jpg

A recent study conducted by a group that I can't believe received funding for the project has determined that great white sharks hunt like human serial killers. Get a load of this freakishness:

The sharks feeding at Seal Island could have just hovered right where the seals congregated if they were random killers-of-opportunity, Hammerschlag said. But they weren't.

The sharks had a distinct M.O.

They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills.

And they attacked from below, unseen.

Okay now I'm a little creeped out. And not just because there's a great white peeking through my bedroom wind....ZOMG THERE'S A GREAT WHITE PEEKI *glass shatters* OM NOM NOM NOM HOLY SHIT HE'S EATING MY FOOT! OH GOD HELP -- IT'S UP TO MY KNEE! OH NO, OH NO HE'S GOING FOR MY PENI....oh, choked to death.

Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter [yahoonews]

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The pen is surely mightier.

Than the great white.


*knock knock knock*


Good thing you have a baby's arm holding on to an apple for a penis....

I thought for a minute that you were going to blog for the police to come, like Perez Hilton tweeted for the police to come help him...

That's absolutely Sharking!!! **rimshot**


Damn. I bought an 'underwater' digital camera from a guy who claims his friend needed money for medical bills from an accident he had with a shark. He sent me that exact picture & told me it was the last picture taken on the camera before the accident

Such a tease GW! You big tease! Show us! :p

i would punch that shark in the face.

lol at " OM NOM NOM NOM HOLY SHIT HE'S EATING MY FOOT! OH GOD HELP -- IT'S UP TO MY KNEE! OH NO, OH NO HE'S GOING FOR MY PENI....oh, choked to death." Glad he didn't get all of you!

Ha ha, funny story.

I sold a broken underwater camera to a guy on the internet. I made up some story about a friend being attacked by a shark and used that very picture to tell the buyer that it was the last shot taken by a camera.


Man that was good. That's almost as good as when I used to work at Ritz camera store, sold some douche a underwater camera and told him it's great for taking shark pictures. I sealed the deal by showing him one I took with the same model camera, was the same picture as above.

I hate when that happens

This just confirms that sharks have evolved like every other predator on the planet. What a completely useless study.
For shame GW, for shame.

Were gonna need a bigger boat!

this is interesting. i'm currently working on my own study to prove that manatees are the serial rapists of the sea. this fella and i should compare data.

Kinda like the Jeffrey Dahmer of the deep., or the lesser known Albert Fish.

Listen, this is of no suprise

as seen in my recent book, "The Fin That Rocks the Cradle" About two years ago I played a deadly game of cat-and-mouse with a tiger shark as he stalked my every move and tried to corner me to do me in. It ended in a pulse pounding revlation/fight scene/ interpretive dance.

That you can read in my recent book, "The Fin That Rocks the Cradle," On sale now.



Well we all have that picture, is easier to sell the old cameras if you insert the shark story...everyone knows that, anyone interested in a cheap previously own camera?, my friend took the last photo during a shark attack, honest...

why is this surprising to anybody?...that's how survival of the fittest works...go for the opportunity with best outcome...duh!!!

also, this is just the most efficient form of hunt.

You will not get much food if you attack any prey at random at sight of all.


Exactly @25, why waste precious energy chasing everything that moves, when you instinctively know when it's small and young you can easy get it.


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was called in to examine a kid who was killed in the ocean and washed up on the shore. It was theorized that she got run over by a boat and hacked up by the prop. Max said "This is no boating accident".

um, sharks have been hunting much longer than people - isn't it more acurate to suggest that human serial-killers hunt like sharks? (y'know probably tapping into some dormant hunting instinct that all sharks use all the time?)

@ 28

Well, since I'm eating shark fin soup right now *slurp*. I would have to say they still have a lot to learn from us. Like prehensile thumbs bitches!

So sharks hunt like STOMPY picks up girls?

Just wait until the robots come and develop sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads. Then we're really done for.

Waaaaarrrrggghh means "I love you" in shark.

I'd say they hunt like fighter pilots...

What? This pretty well sums up how I 'hunt' down a sandwich from the fridge at 2 am. Congratulations sharks of the world, you're equipped to mmm nomnomnom! a midnight snack while mildly hung over!

Props to the Geekologie Writer. This one of his best pieces ever (no pun intended).

Sharks are one or even maybe the oldest killing machines in the world. Perfectionized during a hundred million years of evolution.Killing the sick and the weak,what's healthy for a population.I think it's a honor for a serial killer for being compared with a shark.

This looks like a shark who forgot to put the dentures back in!

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