Jun 25 2009No Thanks: World's Largest Alarm Clock

The world's largest alarm clock is actually the sun, but I'll look past that for the sake of this scary bitch, who's convinced he's made the largest. Now I don't want to ruin the video for you, but there is absolutely no way he originally designed that as an alarm.

The World's Biggest Alarm Clock [geekygadgets]

Thanks to MaverickPS, who wakes up the way God intended: with a dog licking his face.

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And they wonder why we call them firstarded.


I have my suspicions that it's used solely as an alarm clock.

bang his head agaist the head board lol

noope. i invented more biggester.

Now that he has posted this video for the world to see, any minuscule chance he may have had for getting laid before is now a dying spark in the darkness of his quickly approaching adulthood.


yeah #4. it's definitely has sexual undertones

Did anyone else noticed the glaring jungle of fire hazard cables and power strip?

... I am torn between declaring the insane amount of win of that "alarm clock" and the utter amount of pathetic that the guy exudes.

The "hi Mom" part really sealed the latter, though.

I think I need one of those "alarm clocks" though... but not for an alarm.


ow got my post removed. gw writer is a bad man. :angry:

Brain dammage

Thankfully, the sun is not actually in the world.

It's a broken happy endings bed from that sketchy motel off the turnpike!

This device has huge potential for sexual situations, too bad it will never be used for that purpose. Mom, if you are reading this: Hi!!!!!!!!!

It's still not big enough, it needs to go to 11.


This looks like it makes up for lack of sex that he obviously is suffering from.

His 1% chance of getting laid before turning 40 has just gone out the window.

God he sound's like a cat in heat when that bed's going.


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where max moved morty's bunk to a branch in a tree.


He may sound like a cat in heat, but I actually am a cat in heat! *MEOW*


Don, you made an incredible mind-opening point. Thank you.

Never getting laid again.

How old is that "kid" anyway? Looked like was in his 30s.

EPIC FAILURE !! as if this hasn't been done before...
The inventor of the "Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed," which brought weary travelers 15 minutes of "tingling relaxation and ease" for a quarter in hotel rooms across America during its heyday as a pop culture icon in the 1960s and '70s, has died. He was 92.

John Joseph Houghtaling died Wednesday at his home in Fort Pierce, his son Paul Houghtaling said Friday in a telephone interview.

Tinkering in the basement of his New Jersey home, Houghtaling invented the "Magic Fingers" machine in 1958.

The device was mounted onto beds, and a quarter bought 15 minutes of "tingling relaxation and ease," according to its label.

"Put in a quarter, turn out the light, Magic Fingers makes ya feel all right," Jimmy Buffett sang in "This Hotel Room."

Kitschy and titillating, Magic Fingers remained a staple of American pop culture even after the device began disappearing from motels. The vibrations triggered a beer explosion in the movie "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," and FBI agents Mulder and Scully relaxed to the pulsations in an episode of "The X Files."

Fox's News Channel's Brit Hume sang the Buffett lyric to former President George W. Bush and his father in a January interview when they mentioned a vibrating chair in the Oval Office.

In a 1963 New York Times profile, Houghtaling (pronounced HUFF-tay-ling) said he was selling beds with a built-in vibrating mechanism when he realized during a repair job it would be much cheaper to create something that would attach to the outside of an existing bed.

"After ripping away the frills, I found that it was the vibrator that counted, not the bed," he recalled. "Magic Fingers was born then and there."

He moved the company to Miami in 1968 and remained its president until he retired in the 1980s, when the rights to the device were sold. The current owners still sell the machines for home use. After he retired, Houghtaling continued to invent and sell coin-operated machines, such as scales and pulse-checking devices.

Magic Fingers was a family business from the beginning, said Paul Houghtaling, who lives in Alexandria, Va. His oldest brother remembers working on the machine in the family basement in New Jersey, and all four of the inventor's sons worked for the company in high school and college.

"I crawled under an awful lot of beds and installed an awful lot of Magic Fingers and collected an awful lot of quarters," Paul Houghtaling said.

He still has a Magic Fingers on his bed, he said, much like the ones the family had at home - set with timers, not coin-operated like the ones they encountered in motels.

"Believe it or not, we would put quarters in it, too," Paul Houghtaling said. "It was cool as a kid to know your father's invention was all over the country."

In its heyday, there were about 175 Magic Fingers franchise dealers across the country, and the gadgets collected about $6,000 to $7,000 a month in quarters, Houghtaling's son said.

By the late 1970s, the dealers complained they spent more money to repair the devices that thieves broke open. Houghtaling developed a debit card-like system for the machines to replace the coin slots, but the idea never took off.

"He was trying to move it to a cashless mechanism so people wouldn't have any reason to break into them," his son said. "Unfortunately, it was kind of ahead of its time."

Houghtaling was born Nov. 14, 1916, in Kansas City, Mo. He liked to say he barely made it out of high school, his son said, and he never went to college. He joined the Army Air Corps during World War II and flew 20 combat missions. He is survived by his four sons and a daughter.

looks fun...until I crash though the ceiling.

Is there a Snooze button ?

That is basically a modified version of a vibrating bed. They've had those for decades in the seedier motels. The fact that the sexual implications of this device don't even register on this guys radar is actually really cute (in an endearing G rated way). He ain't never gettin' laid.

Worlds most useless ridiculously complicated Alarm Clock?

kind of a weak story, and that dude is a fuktard

i love guys like this. that being said, i can't believe that no one pointed out that it's a twin bed?

There's never been a woman in that bed with him. And there never will be. Or, you know, if he plays for the other team...well, fill in the pronouns.

THAT can't be good for your spine.

did he died?

@ 14 and 23

Thankfully the sun shines into this world

that would be usefull for other things too lol

If the package was a little cleaner, i would buy one of these. I have a ridiculously hard time waking up.

WTF did I just watch?

Grow up and buy a queen bed. Yikes

Oh and there is absolutely no way this guy made this bed for any other then the intended purpose.

That guy looks like late 30's; still sleeping in a twin bed at mom's house, come on bro, get it together

Sadly my boyfriend would still sleep right through that.

He made it so that his roommates would think he was having wild, freaky, uninhibited sex. Sadly, when there was no well in hell that they'd fall for it, he turned it into an "alarm clock".

id still not wake up

I know Ryan McAurther the "creator" of the bed personaly...
every comment made about him by the visitors of this site is compleatly true.
and up untill reading the comments I was disapointed that his video was even posted on here. however everyones responce to him on here has made me laugh! Good Job Geekologie users for your Truly great insite on this pathetic guy.
Just for the Record
His name is Ryan he Is 30 years old and he lives in a basement.


sadly i thought GW was gonna go for a zinger... like the world's largest alarm clock is actually my zipper snake... Ladies? or any of the others though he may thought it be too easy GW for president... or his own clothing line

your mom doesnt love you

I love the cry of pain at 1:02

old news the Def community have been useing this alarm clock for years

I would've taken a baseball bat to that pneumatic pump a long time ago.

These kind of movements i'd like to make right away after waking up.But you need to be with two persons.

Yea! But does it really wake you up?

That sucks ass he actually said 'oww' am i meant to b impressed because i am not

if anyone ever try's to invent anything so shit again they are just a MORON

What a tard.

So Freakin Cool

scary, very scary, scary indeed.

Its gonna be hell to move out of his mom's house

That bed totally turned me on. Grwl

Hi Boss,

I can't make it into work today because I got some nasty whiplash from my alarm clock.

OMG dude how old are you. . . And you still live with you mother in a single bed!!! I take it you dont have a girlfriend. . . well get one!!

Why did it stop? That wasn't nearly long enough.

but there is absolutely no way he originally designed that as an alarm.
GEE wally what do you suppose he disigned it for. Wow I gotta have one. :/

As Ryan's father and the guy who had to get him up for school for many years, I can assure Daisy (#21) that it was built from the ground up to be an alarm clock and that it works for Ryan.

However, I don't know where the "Hi Mom" came from either or what it's done for or to his sex life. There are things a Dad just doesn't ask.

Although the bed is capable of being very violent, it's normal mode of operation is much more gentle than what's shown in the video.

Another note - for many years, the computer that controls it ran OS/2.

.... Ryan's dad

Imagine sex on that thing...

que bueno seria para tener sexo !!! jajaja

Can't believe I missed that when it was originally posted... gotta come here more often.

Hahaha i think thats the only noise that the bed produces ;) ie no sex... ever.

dear god why

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