Jun 25 200935,000-Year Old Flute Doesn't Summon Bird

old flute.jpg

That was a Zelda reference. No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. So scientists have unearthed a 35,000-year old flute in Germany, making it the earliest instrument ever found (not including rocks).

It was made from the bone of a giant vulture during the Upper Paleolithic. Found in Ach Valley, in the south of Germany, the 8.7-inch long, one-inch diameter instrument has five holes, with two V-shaped notches carved on one side of it. This was the part in which the musician put the lips to blow, according to University of Tubingen's professor Nicholas Conard, the lead author of the discovery. The other end is broken just on the fifth hole.

Wait -- but I thought the oldest flute was the one Eve used to play. You know, Adam's. Zing? ZING!

35,000-year-old Flute Is First Instrument Ever [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who is more of a clarinet kind of guy.

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Reader Comments


That's pretty amazing


Firstart and mybrute fag all in one. Die in a fire.


@3 lawl I don't always post my brute it's kind of like a sig.

@5: you give me hope that all these mybrute people aren't idiots.

adams flute is only 6000 years old dummy

Of course it doesn't summon a bird. It totally takes you to level 8.

Uhm, that looks a lot smaller than 1 inch in diameter.

@9 My thoughts exactly. Unless of course, that guy has the hands of Andre the Giant, or Arsenio Hall.

Oh pants. That's an old flute.

what genre of music could they possible play?

Blues about getting eaten by a big ass cat.
Rock music about getting eaten by a big ass cat.
Jazz about how dental hasn't been invented yet.

i don't know to good for the histories. I'm not Dr. Grant


This is photoshopped, you can tell because the shadows are all wrong.

This is just like that time in Never BAck Down where Max and his friends find a block of ice while digging in the back yard. They thaw it out looking for a pot of gold but instead they get Brandon Frazier, a caveman from the ice ages, who becomes so popular that Baja plays his bone flute, like, all day long.

There seems to be a running theme to some of the posts today...

I'll give you hint: it's fellatio!


@3 LOL hahaha

@13. So who were the wallabies sucking off?

LOL, if that's an inch in diameter, then I understand the mindset most men have regarding length.

Blow jobs for everybody!


Something that thin will only summon Lindsay Lohan....



This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake becauise the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max came home from his job at the pickle pactory, and told Baja that today he had a strong urge to stick his weiner in the pickle slicer. A few days later he came home and told Baja that he gave in to his urges, and stuck his weiner in the pickle slicer. Baja asked what happened, and he said she and I both got fired.

I wonder if it's the Pied Piper's.

What are the odds of this just being a random occurence from erosion?

either a 1 inch diameter was significantly smaller 35k years ago or that guy has the fattest fingers i've ever seen

hm. I'm thinking someone messed up the difference between diameter and circumference, and know we're all living in a parallell universe where the one is the other, or vice versa. unlike 35.000 years ago when everything was straight and german.


I'm thinking they should stop using the Imperial system of measurement, especially if they can't use it properly...

For a country that was so anxious to get rid of the Brits, they sure are clinging to that last vestige of Imperial rule...

Hahaha.. Rule...

i think they meant circumfrence and not diameter

musical neanderthals, just the best thing ever...

who knows, they may even group together in their little caveman band.


LIES!! Everyone except the sinners know God created the world 6,000 years ago

Is music even that old?

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