May 1 2009Cincinnati Has Its Own Superheroes, Both Super And Hero Debatable (Can I Join?)

Finally, Cincinnati has it's own superheros. Shadow Hare, a 21-year old masked vigilante, prowls the streets while leading a ragtag bag of other assholes crimefighters known as The Allegiance of Heroes (MUST SEE hero pep rally at 1:07). And, apparently, this isn't a unique phenomenon -- there's actually a World Superhero Registry (ANOTHER MUST SEE), showcasing all the real-life heroes operating around the globe. Which, after viewing, has inspired me to start my own group of crimefighters (now accepting applications). I'm thinking 'GW and the Nut-Busting Crusaders Of Truth And Cool Costumes'. Too professional?

Hit the jump for parts 2 and 3 of the news story about Shadow Hare. Trust me, best way to spend your Friday afternoon. ALLEGIANCE ASSEMBLE!

Introducing Cincinnati's Real Life Masked Superhero, The Shadow Hare [youbentmywookie]

Thanks to Ben, Jason, Eric, Gordon, Trin, Ed, Douche McAllister, Will, Just...A Guy and egleaves, who fight crime the way God intended: trolling Geekologie.

Related Stories
Reader Comments

I want to be a superhero


Where's captain dinosaur and his sidekick bacon boy?

@2 FAIL.

@ 2 technically true because of timestamp, but still, no need. I like we have extra people watching out for others out there

bring on "EVERY-MAN"

@1 naas eat shit and die again.

Watch I don't like you anymore, 303 or no 303

'GW and the NBCOTACC' does have a ring to it....

I fought crime by becoming a "fan of geekologie" on facebook...

seial killers UNITE

im waiting on the news story of the first "super villain" going around killing these dumbasses

or some gangbangers that jsut shoot them in the face

@ 2 FAIL
@GW it's "CINCINNATI" Idiot.

Also yes the super heroes are turds and are going to get their a$$'$ kicked soon.

yes it pisses off firstards when they can't flaunt their gheyness & no I don't care about what they'd say about it either way


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake becauase the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max started a company that sold boldly colored underwear and pajamas. Sales were slow so he marketed them to super heros and made a killing.

Did anyone notice he sounds exactly like and has the same body shape as Michael Cera? First of all, what crime are these guys fighting? Jay Walking?

I sent this to the GW two days ago and I still don't get credit. What a dick.

I liked "Tall Awkwardly Fat Neon-Spandex-Guy" probably has the power of sweaty-ass-smelling hands. I also Liked "O" Face Girl" OOOoooH with the power of "sceaming, writhing, curling her toes and shaking uncontrollably" OOOOhhhhhoooo


i think i would punch one of them just for no reason

I've helped you before... yea i was probably drunk!... yeah you were....

His voice is too high pitched to make him intimidating...

Hahahahahhah, awesome guy, like his teenager voice :)

sounds like his underwear are on too tight

Was wondering when you all would catch wind of this story... saw it and thought it would be the perfect story for geekologie.

I'm in GW as long as we can kill terminators and all other who are trying to create SkyNet

What do you do when you don't qualify to be a police officer?

You become a private security.

What do you do if you don't even qualify for that?.....

OMG! My 4 year old thinks its cool. I just finished forbidding my son from wearing a cape in adulthood. Their mothers are probably saying, "Why? Why?" And sobbing uncontrollably. lol......great my son has put on his spiderman mask.

Honestly man, he sounds a lot like Tobey Maguire

he got bitten by a radioactive dwarf bunny?

that's all nice, but wheres the league of super villains?

*sprays* Who watches the watchmen

Hmm... I live in the area. Never saw these goons. Cincinnati is known for its low education rate. Perhaps this is the only job people with GEDs can get. I mean, maybe they're like the guys from "Confessions of a Superhero" documentary. Perhaps not. I think too many comic books have had some play in this decision. Hell, maybe they watched the Watchmen and thought that they needed something else to do besides sitting on their butts all day eating Cheetos.

I'm starting the Miami chapter this weekend. WHO'S WITH ME?

Seriously.. they need to do some crunches or something. Spandex seems to be their enemy. Time for some cardio.

@Max I thought the exact same thing about him and Michael Cera


I've been in Cincinnati my whole life and still haven't seen them on the streets. Maybe if Simon Leis would do his job instead of taking all those bribs and kickbacks, these poor fools wouldn't dress up to fight crime. Besides, the GED club gathers in white tees and runs from the cops.

I'm an amateur super-villain; I wreak all kinds of havoc: trip old people, shove little kids, fart on the mentally handicapped, pee in mailboxes, write my name in poo on bathroom stalls and dip my junk in people's lunch when they leave in the fridge at work. No one can stop me! Soon I'll take over the world and you will bend to my will – Oh no! It's Misguided Shadow Dork, Asexual Neon-Spandex Lump and the Daddy Didn't Love Me League of Super Zeros!

I can't possibly stand up to a sandwich and mace wielding group of preteen weirdos!

Drat! I'll retire to my Cubicle of Solitude and plot my next attack...

looks like the Donnie Darko bunny rabbit-head thing
maybe it IS Michael Cera! wonder where Jonah Hill is...

no, that guy isn't michael cera, but michael cera WILL soon be the lead role in a film adaptation of these guys lives, and he will have an awkward but eventually successful relationship with the chick.

ALLEGIANCE ASSEMBLE!!!!!! RAWR....dislocated shoulder.

mr. extreme looks pretty extreme.

I'd beat all 3 of their asses (not all 4 cause I dont hit girls) then go have a sandwich...laughing the entire time.

stfu daisy. your a waist of space

"He's a 21 year old 'man'."

Man? Yeah right? Listen to his voice...he's a BOY.

Holy Crap, I met master legend on my 21st birthday in downtown Orlando. I gave him my card and he called me the next week asking if I needed any of his crime fighting services.

I gave him a list of all my enemies and told him they raped me. I think they're all dead now. YAY local Super heroes!

P.S. That story is 95% true, really he just asked if I needed help and then I turned it around and asked him if he needed me to design new cards for him, haha.

Hmm... Is it just me, or does this make anybody else want to take up my own cape and become their arch villian? I mean, they must get bored at times. The least we can do is take up arms against them and attempt to take over the world via secret hide-out in Cincinatti to make their lives a little more entertaining.

Lol it's always good to see that there're really good citizens with noble intentions.Understand that SuperHeroes stay as long as possible alive.

31, i can't believe you were the first to mention watchmen.

these idiots probably read the novel after the movie came out... :|

Really!?! Anyone ever read the comic Kick-Ass, this little punk just read that and copied...loser. Oh by the way they are making the movie for this comic as well, maybe he will be invited to the red carpet!

Not as awesome as the Erlanger, KY werewolf.

Ol' bunny man needs to do a few bench presses, maybe take some testosterone to beef up the vocal chords a bit.

They looked like they were reverse trick or treating, handing out goodies like that.

wow.... this makes me want to undergo more cybernetic augmentation and become a mega villan

yess i agree with you, #14. that was the first thing i thought of when I heard his voice.

...I wonder if this is some sort of marketing scheme for some Michael cera comedy.....

I remember my first days as a superhero...scaling the side of Koolau Mountains to save Hulakilobani's poor kitten. Yes...those were the days. I would like to say as America's President, Commander-in-Chief, and ex-community organizer, I do full-heartedly pledge my support of these masked heroes. Godspeed.

If a team of superheros patrol the streets of L.A., they better invest some money on bullet proof vests and running shoes. Good cause, but not thought through well. I wish them luck.

Here is another Superhero u might wanna see.

LOL @ jfect

..WATCHMEN are real?!?!!? oh nop, oh no, evacuate the city! call dr Manhattan... jesus christ we've got a serious problem guys

part 3 1:25 "you dont remember me do you?""i was probably drunk""yeah... you were"... so true

What if someone just shot them in the face with a gun? If anything that would make me very happy. Idiots.

none of these dorks have any arch enemies listed on thier webpage

every time i see GW i think George W Bush, don't invite the comparison geekologist, make people spell out your full damn name

i dont think those guys in vi 3 are homeless.
also @4 FAIL!!!!!

He sounds like Micheal Cera.

they had an article in rolling stone about the alliance. Master Legend was one of the heroes, he's from florida. There's a whole website, haha

Im so going their to arch him.

Post a Comment

Please keep your comments relevant to the post. Inappropriate or promotional comments may be removed. Email addresses are required to confirm comments but will never be displayed. To create a link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments.