Apr 1 2009Google's CADIE And Gmail's Auto-Pilot


Well folks, the apocalypse is upon us. Google has foolishly unleashed the world's first "artificial intelligence tasked-array system" (death-bot) upon the world. CADIE (Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity) is going to kill us all, and, even worse, delete all the porno on the internet (personal speculation).

So although CADIE technology will be rolled out with the caution befitting any advance of this magnitude, in the months to come users can expect to notice her influence on various google.com properties. Earlier today, for instance, CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.

Nice homepage, reminds me of my own. But to her credit, CADIE has actually done some good. Namely, creating a Gmail program that answers your emails for you when you're too busy getting hosed down (violently, not sensually) by the coming robot army. It's called Auto-Pilot.

As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages.

But what happens if a sender and recipient both have Autopilot on?

Two Gmail accounts can happily converse with each other for up to three messages each. Beyond that, our experiments have shown a significant decline in the quality ranking of Autopilot's responses and further messages may commit you to dinner parties or baby namings in which you have no interest.

There you have it folks, April Fools, 2009. See you all tomorrow, when telling your girlfriend you got her sister pregnant stops being funny and starts being real.

Gmail Auto-Pilot
CADIE's Blog

Thanks to TJ, sofa king, Smith III, amy, The Mighty Musnud, Dave180!, oisin and Ryan, who only drive on auto-pilot. Nice guys, that's safe.

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Reader Comments



This is a compkete photoshop job. You can tellits a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and Baja invented an imaginary man to converse via chat and email with Max's single mom. Unfortunatly when it became time for them to meet, they substituted Baja's dad, and Mrs Max almost ended up in the wood chipper.

oh come on

Wowzzers wouldnt have expected that from google... Guess i should've though.

Somebody's gonna die from this... I just know it.

This is the least of my problems since I'm using a Dial-up connection. So, the piss is on you, Google!

And also, the GW forgot to mention the first Artificial Idiot. It's Dais to the izzle.

Yup. You've all been April Fooled. Last year, their joke was to offer pre-dated emails.

Um, Aprils' Fool, fools? lol

@6 Pre-dated emails? I don't remember that.
What was it all about?

CADIE isn't the 1st intelligent death bot if you've seen this movie


Pfft where's my thanks for submitting this too

Yeah, April Fool's day joke. Google does it every year, sorry geekologie dude.

Google is skynet? i thought it was a lie... but i do respect them for at least going public before a robot comes on judgement day for me... thanks google!... erm, i meant skynet!

But what about Google Chrome 3D?


Gonna fool me some fools in the office with this one.

april fools... happens every year at gmail. i think it was gmail paper or something last year.

@ 12

No, google isn't skynet. The British satellite system and the conficker C-virus that's supposed to infect all the computers and take over the world, is.

@15- stop kidding yourself, conficker is a division of google, the thing with conficker is that it doesnt harm anything, it just makes the computers open to viruses and it shuts down defenses. Its clearly just clearing way for google (skynet) to take over. British satallites... maybe, low profile because i havent known too much about them and i keep up to date with my tech.

oh, and CADIE is aiding conficker, it is AI meant to assist developers from the inside

im officially ooked.

WTF Daisy
at least pick a relevant post
cuz i guess only ur computer screen shows wrong shadows on gmail, huh?
and yes this is april fools, fools
google does it every year

Google chrome 3D was funnier. You had to actually print out your glasses...

From now on, we LGBT have our own zone---seekbi.com. This is the first and largest platform for us. Do not forget to join it. WOW WOW WOW, it's free!!Come on!!

hehe...Dr. Thera Pist
clever google, clever

I hate Google.

That is all.

@19 ...Noob

what the hell is 'odds ratio of j to k'

@24 Daisy is a fully functional automatic noob detector, just another reason why his presence is so helpful here :)

you were just kidding right?

Morono, that was the funniest comment of all. Bravo!

CADIE's blog reads like an overly book smart angsty teenage sociopath girl.


AKA: You, 10 years ago

@8 You were able to set the date of when the email had supposedly been sent, which would be useful for college students who were supposed to turn in a term paper by midnight on a certain date. If the paper was actually sent at 6am the next day, the gmail user could just select that the email had been sent at 12am. Make sense?

@20- i wont lie, i tried downloading the 3d version when it first came out, then it re-downloaded the google chrome i had, so im not gonna lie, i got excited...hey hey hey! and those glasses made me rofl

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