Mar 27 2009Aaaahh!: They're After Our Children, Elderly

Just like lions attack in the wild, robots are planning on taking out the weakest of our proverbial herd first. Namely, children and old folks. All thanks to a little service class robot named ApriAttenda, by Toshiba.
At just one meter tall, the robot can open doors, handle trays and drinks and comes equipped with cameras in its three-fingered hands. The robot is expected to join the ranks of day care and nursing robots being designed to meet the needs of the graying populace. Shown above is the ApriAttenda being trained by one of the humans it will soon replace.
Yeah, soon replace with bloody stumps! You can't fool me, Toshiba. I don't care how googly its eyes are, that is a trained killing machine if I've ever seen one. And trust me -- I stare at one in the mirror everyday. *flexing* UH! You like this pose? Well check out *MEEEOOOOOW!* Oh God, stepped on the cat.
ApriAttenda robot updated to nurse your elders and monitor your offspring [dvice]
Related Stories
They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute (03/11/2009)
Another Sleepless Night: Scary Robot Gallery (03/07/2009)

Reader Comments
1. Mesarim - March 27, 2009 10:15 AM
That thing looks a lot tall than a meter.... Maybe it's assimilating the elderly to grow?
2. Sonny - March 27, 2009 10:16 AM
Second! Does it have any fun slots?
3. Mesarim - March 27, 2009 10:18 AM
I forgot, the lady behind it is probably 1.2 meter tall anyway.
4. Dan - March 27, 2009 10:20 AM
Thats an awfully large body segment, probably full of clawed arms and other contraptions to slaughter people.
Fu.cking Toshiba ¬_¬
5. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 27, 2009 10:22 AM
But can I fück it?
6. softlicious - March 27, 2009 10:23 AM
America can be such an unfair place sometimes, false paternity ruling, false rape charges. It's a good thing there is Japan, the land of great games and weird gadgets. I think robots are good, no more manual labor. Soon metal will be taking over, metal everywhere.
7. softlicious - March 27, 2009 10:24 AM
@Gordon, you can allways fück yourself!
8. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 27, 2009 10:26 AM
@7
Well atleast when I fück myself, I'm not out raping children, unlike you. Pervert.
9. Ken the tech - March 27, 2009 10:30 AM
More robots = big unemployment rate
10. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 27, 2009 10:31 AM
@9
Manufacturing robots = jobs
11. poop on my small shaft - March 27, 2009 10:36 AM
TINA TURNER
Well the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
You dont think of them as human
You dont think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall
Chorus
I'm YOUR PRIVATE DANCER
A DANCER FOR MONEY
ILL DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO
I'm YOUR PRIVATE DANCER
A DANCER FOR MONEY
ANY OLD MUSIC WILL DO
I wanna make a million dollars
I wanna live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah I guess I want a family
All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
Repeat chorus twice
Deutschmarks or dollars
American express will nicely thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me do you wanna see me do the shimmy again
Repeat chorus
12. softlicious - March 27, 2009 10:38 AM
America is such an unfair country. Court rulings in paternity cases are often deliberately based on falsities, the thruth doesn't even matter when someone get's ripped of. If you want more details, just Google. And americans, like Gordon here, often accuse innocent people of horrible things, whitout even a clue, that's rather nasty Gordon, it's not nice and actually quite ridiculous because I'm anonumous here so how would you know. But then again I wouldn't expect better from an american, you are the ones who thought up a "legal" system where people can be robbed by the courts. The fact that no one here agrees with me is outrageous. America is such a horrible country.
13. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 27, 2009 10:39 AM
10- until we make robots to make robots that is...
14. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 27, 2009 10:43 AM
12- Then leave, that is if your parole officer will let you...
15. softlicious - March 27, 2009 10:51 AM
@14 - It would be better I think if the voters in this country could vote responsibly for legislators who make fair laws. If the only option left is to leave the fücking country, then that's a horrible country, not every country in the world can be like that. You stupid asshat, are you saying we can't even have fair court rulings in this country? Do you know why Japan is ahead of America what comes to technology, because there men don't have to worry about having false paternity rulings entered upon them in their absence! I told you to GOOGLE:
http://www.google.se/search?hl=en&q=paternity+fraud&btnG=Google+Search&aq=0&oq=paternity+fr
16. Mesarim - March 27, 2009 10:53 AM
I wonder were 12 is from. So much hatred, and yet, he advocates the wrong of a country that is not his own, when everyone is guilty of pretty much the same thing. There isn't a single country on the planet were truths are distorted, corruption, and general nastiness exists. I find it naive that people judge one country alone. It's like religion, you judge one religion based on your beliefs, instead of analyzing your own first. I may not sound pro-or anti- american, and that is because I rather see the good people do and what they can do to make things better instead of criticizing a system I cannot change. Criticizing doesn't fix things, getting off your ass and doing something about it fixes things. If softlicious is so keen on demonizing a country, what is soft doing to improving his/her own? And what is soft doing to improve the "evil" country? I wish to hear the answers to those questions first.
17. Dan - March 27, 2009 10:55 AM
@15 In what way is this connected to the post?
Please shut the fück up
18. softlicious - March 27, 2009 11:01 AM
@16 - Wait there, I said I live in Alabama, well, it's a confederate state because me and a few friends, dudes, celebrate 1/11 each year.
Well anyway, the solution to that unions problems, and I'm glad I don't live in the union, anyway the solution to your problems is to vote for legislators that require evidence before paternity is established, real DNA, remember the SLUT in the last post! I have to admit that Alabama isn't perfect either, damn those feminists are taking over everywhere.
19. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 27, 2009 11:03 AM
@16
soft dick lives in Alabamer. He's an American bitching about America because his fragile world of conservitism and child raping has crumbled around him. I told him the write his congressman instead of posting ignorant shit on an internet message board, but I don't think he understands. soft dick, get a clue, we don't care about your legal troubles.
20. Boozeaholic - March 27, 2009 11:06 AM
Does it have a vacuum too? What's that drawer on the bottom for? Maybe it's a dustpan. Alternatively, weapon storage.
21. Johnny 5 - March 27, 2009 11:08 AM
I would.
22. Mesarim - March 27, 2009 11:11 AM
So the question of "what are you doing to fix it (besides bitching about it)?" still stands. You don't like the system, you need to change it, go ahead, work at it, work your fingers down to the bone, write to everyone, get people to think how you do, rally support, and change the laws and get rid of the filth. All I see is some trolling and complaining. The system was designed in a way to allow it to change and evolve... Every change requires energy. The more energy, the better the change. Why don't you set up a blog about what you want to change, get people to fund it, set up your own independent movement to change the laws and bring it to the government. With enough people, anything can happen.
So much negative energy which could be used in a positive way. Guess it's the new american dream: "I dream of changes" instead of "I dream of making this place my own private heaven" and back on topic... Glad the kid isn't the dad. Now he truly has time for his nutz to drop.
23. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 27, 2009 11:23 AM
@22
Because that would make too much sense.
24. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 27, 2009 11:31 AM
Softy - you spelled ANONYMOUS wrong. Here are a few replies to your ignorant, hateful remarks:
"You stupid asshat, are you saying we can't even have fair court rulings in this country?"
-Not at all. I'm saying from your attitude I can conjecture that your court ruling was fair. If you are a child raping monster, I would prefer if you went to a small atoll in the ring of fire and spent your days being molested by giant male primates.
"Do you know why Japan is ahead of America what comes to technology, because there men don't have to worry about having false paternity rulings entered upon them in their absence! "
-OMG! Now the world makes sense! That is the single most logical sentence I have ever read!
"I told you to GOOGLE"
-Just like a typical girl, I didn't listen...
25. R2-D2 - March 27, 2009 3:02 PM
Blop ♥ Blip! What's her phonenumber!? ♡ Beep!
26. Victoria - March 27, 2009 3:12 PM
Well, now my six year old brother can reach the liquor cabinet. =/
27. ada - March 27, 2009 3:12 PM
I'm an open minded bisexual girl!Do you want to date with me? So you want to have a sexy night? If so, please join in www.seekbi.com
28. Brian - March 27, 2009 3:46 PM
Luckily I am covered by Old Glory Insurance.
29. andrew - March 27, 2009 5:32 PM
gw you sombitch
i sent you a suggestion about a violin playing toyota robot last week, only for you to bring me this garbage
hows that ugly bitch in this post gonna stand up to manual freakin dexterity and a haunting, soulless vibrato?
30. BeeTee - March 27, 2009 8:56 PM
Better get some of that Old Glory Robot Insurance "Because the Robots are BIG and Robots are STRONG and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Old Glory Insurance, "for when the metal ones come for you!"