Jan 16 2009Oh Wow -- An Even Worse Text-Messager

texter.jpg

Remember the story earlier in the week about the girl that sent 14,528 text messages in a month? Well, it turns out she's not the only daughter I'd lock in the basement. Emilee Cox, a 14 year old from Clermont, Florida, sent and received 35,463 texts in a single month. Which, granted, were probably only half actually sent messages. But still, get a life. The best part of the interview:

Haha. Your dad was supposed to email me a picture of you to use. Do you know if he found one?
Uhm idk i think my sister is sending him one.

Got the photos. You are 14, right?
Yes i am.

Wow, even I found that creepy. Anybody else get the feeling the interviewer was at least partially responsible for Willy Wonka's third-quarter earnings?

Full text message interview with Clermont teen who had 35,463 text messages in a month [orlandosentinel]

Thanks to Jessica, who won't return my texts. WHAT'D I DO!?

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Fail :(

But I was still First!!!

That's so gay. What's something completely normal and trivial that I can do a whole bunch of times so I can get recognized? Huh?

This girl can burn in hell. Right after I pop her cherry and fill her vagina with my sperm.

She's not "the girl that sent 14,528 text messages", dammit. She's got a name! Her name is Khan's Daughter. Anyway, this one looks very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed which is probably why she thinks she can get away with mixing up "your" and "you're".

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where a hallucinating Max ate some mushrooms he found and imagined himself to be invincible. He ran through the attacking turtles, and kicked them into each other, and then started climbing up some construction scaffolding where the construction crew tried to discourage him by throwing beer cans at him.

What the? Who asks those kind of questions.

And who can text that much? ZOMG.

Yeah I don't really give a crap about the 8134917491873 other 13 yr olds txting themselves to death either, but if anyone wants to CALL me my phone number is somewhere in that digit

I'd hit it. Twice.

Dagnab it, LSDiesel, all this time I thought you were a fraulein. Finally, I click on your link, only to find out that life (and the Internet) is telling lies again…

@9, I admit, I had to go to dictionary.com to find out what the hell a Fraulein was.
Thanks. I appreciate that I come across as an unmarried German woman to you.

From now on, you can call me Hitler's Honey.

Ha ha! Ssssh, not so loud—the cops might take our kinders avay!

The cops already took my kids away, but that was only because I branded them with the decepticon symbol on the back of their necks and named them Starscream, Megatron, and Wally.

Shoulda known better than to call him Wally, I guess. Wally, Dickie, Johnson and Woody Woodpecker all rank high on social services' naming black list.

What a stupid dirty pirate hooker. If I had a daughter, well first I would never have a daughter because as soon as the doc told me it would be a girl I would push my wife down the stairs. But assuming the doctor made a mistake, told us it was a boy, and then ended up being a girl, if that little bitch texted like that I would throw her off a bridge. Not a bridge over a river either, a bridge over a busy interstate.

Rule #1. If you don't want your daughter to send a shit-load of texts, then don't buy her a f***ing iPhone. Spoiled brat.

@15. LSDiesel - Indeed, and can you imagine how much her friends must really hate her? I would be so f***ing pissed if some dumb ass sent me 500 texts every friggin' day.

Wally is a good name.

I think Wally was one of the midgets in Time Bandits, the one they thought fell into bottomlessness when they were swinging on the cages to escape

I want to kick this dumb f***in tweener in her FUPA!

known, are you a fraulein, or are you a Hans? Most importantly, you are 14, right?

There go the commas again, hehe. I like to think that the em-dashes redeem me, though… (not to mention the real ellipsis).

LSD - no popping underaged cherries you jackass... Wait til she's legal, then abuse her sexually.

Known- I wonder how many people are going to get hang ups because of that, lol... I'm glad my phone # isn't any combination of those digits.

I'm actually curious WHAT IN THE f*** could she be texting? Unless she's a drug dealer, the goddamn Jonas Brothers are not that interesting.

#18 not really, no

haha thumper, my phone has only rang 8 times so far today & I keep letting the machine get it. You sure your numbers' not coded in there somewhere?

@23
You meant @19 not @18

Doh SiGee, I did mean 19 thanks

@26
yea, that didnt make since with your reply to my fupa comment.

@21, I will pop whomevers cherry I please. Of course, she is fourteen, so she's probably been sexed up already.

Now SiGee on the other hand...

FUPA SCHWA!

SiGee = hawt

Known- yep my # has all 3 of the digits you didn't list! But mysteriously, I've tried you and gotten and answering machine 7 times... If you're wondering who keeps singing "I am Mega Man, I got a muthaf***in' gun for a hand..." to your machine, it's totally me... hehehehe

LSD- You've just made me vomit in my mouth a little bit...

#30 and here I thought MegaMan was just in a good mood today. You have such a good voice, thank you for all that song :)


@LSDiesel
Another fine example of "flame before reading"....

The girl does NOT have an iPhone. She's still a spoiled brat though. If these parents don't notice their daughter sending texts every minute of every day they are bound to find themselves with a grandchild soon.

@32, You're right. You are right right right, and I am wrong wrong wrong. Shall I lick your butthole too?

Dude...
No ass licking allowed

We here at walmart are so very pleased to see the development of our future cashiers coming along so well. They've demonstrated a remakable ability to quickly navigate many types of keyboards and data entry devices. These ones are destined for greatness on the "20 items of less" speed checkouts! Win! Us!

@5 - Daisy...if you insist on continuing your annoying repetitious rant, take the apostrophe out of "shadows", at least. Sheesh...

@35 --

Speaking of Wal-Mart, you should check out this vid about the DUDE THAT GOT TRAMPLED AT WAL-MART:

http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/1/13/little-billys-got-a-secret.html

@ 37 -- LMAO, todders!!

TODDERS I watched that shit yesterday it was funny I mean, but when are you putting up another video?

my sister did 60,000 txt in a month. She's 20 and works at disneyland.

n00bs

I will bend that girl over and F her in the A so damn hard that her H will turn inside out and look like Q.

that bitch is f***ing mental

Bitch needs to learn that "alot" isn't the same as A LOT.

@45 - lol

Hey guys,

Etan Horowitz here. I wrote the article and did the creepy sounding interview. Thanks for linking to it.

I can see how some of my questions seem creepy, but I swear, I was just doing my job!

I asked "You are 14, right?" because when I interview kids for stories they sometimes say they are a certain age even though they won't be that age for a few weeks. So i was just double checking.

And the photo I was asking about is the one you posted here. Her dad was supposed to have sent it to me a few hours before my text message interview, so I was trying to see what was taking so long.

And to respond to someone else's comment, she doesn't have an iPhone. That's a picture of MY iphone with the text interview I had with her. As the story says, she has a cheap T-Mobile phone with no keyboard because she broke her other one.

Etan

It's Etan Horowitz!!! Quick! Hide your kids!!!

If she was awake 12 hrs a day, that's 100 txt an hour. Pretty impressive.

I don't know why people are such sheep. So the kids a great social net worker. Let's all make her feel bad for it. Great idea!

How many of those text contained two words or less? At least half, probably. How hard is it to type: ur? or really? or omg!

The problem with parents are: instead of looking at the skill this girl's mind obviously has in keeping up contacts as well as keeping people and text of this volume straight and finding her a suitable career path early, everyone just looks at it badly.

Like she committed some horrible sin. She's a teen. It's what they do best. Talk.

hi how are you then i hope you are you :D

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