Dec 11 2008Pfft, Hearts Are Overrated Anyways

breakfast-of-gods.jpg

If God wasn't too busy spiting me every morning, he'd eat this shit for breakfast.

Hit the jump for a picture of the finished product.

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Bacon Cheese Roll [foodproof]

Thanks Cam and Owen, my God did that smell good.

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Reader Comments

Nice

mmm FRIST!

Crazy..

Smiting.

OMG, I think I just felt my arteries clog...

My heart goes out [to whoever actually eats these]

i have to agree with Thumperchica... my arteries just closed up looking at that contraption of a "meal"

shit one bite of that looks like it's 3 times the recommended daily intake of death.

Holly Shit! I'm not fat, but I'm will be by the end of the month. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Actually, the thing looks like it could double as an artificial heart. I can see two distinct cheesy chambers in the cross section.

i would have sex with it then eat it

@10, why don't you just f*** a pig with chesse coming out of it's pooper?

Is it bad that I am making one of these right now?

That's Killer!

Be sure to serve OJ!

Add some fried shredded potatoes to that prior to rolling and that would be great!

Damn that looks good. I'd top it with some fatback & liquid crackl'n & have me one helluva heartattack. Too bad they didn't deep fry that thing.

Did not know there was anything better then bacon! Well now we know, "A Bacon Cheese Roll"!! Wow I can hear the ambulance coming down the street right now... lol. Go into the light, sure there is a bacon cheese roll at the end of it. hahaha

whoops i just drooled on the keyboard

Bacon weave served by naked Jessica Biel=heaven

FAKE!!!!

This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Baja and Max are hired as contract killers and given assignments to kill each other.

This would be a good death...

Step 8: Coronary

NOM

That would give me the worst gas..

mmhm.....bacon.

Doesn't Daisy ever get tired of being a retard? Apparently not.

That said, Mmmm...mouth watering now.

but is it kosher ?

Kosher Bacon only comes from the Right Side of the Pig so be sure to ask when you buy it.

I heard that baking takes all the fat out of the bacon so how bad could it be???

This shit is hot..... My pants are soaked

@19. I don't know what makes you think this is fake. It's laid out pretty clear. Basic recipe instructions. What shadows are you even talking about? This has nothing to do with the move Never Back Down. I've seen it. And your comment isn't even from Never Back Down. It sounds like your commenting on the Movie Mr and Mrs. Smith. And the charcharters names werent Max and Baja. You are confused. I think you are posting on the wrong site.

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!!!!

At least the GW knows some good GI JOE PSA re-dubs.

Things that I can't believe they didn't think of:

1. Lay a couple links of sausage down the middle...you know, to give you a solid center to roll it up around.

2. Dip it in buttermilk and flour, and drop it in the deep fryer.

3. Both of the above.

that's the healthiest thing I've ever seen in my life. . . I think I just got hard

A welcome addition to the Michael Phelp's diet, BTW how much does a defibrillator cost?

@29,

If your name wasn't "You Got Trolled..." I'd call you a dumb shit noob to the website. So with that in mind, I'll just call you a dumb shit.

*HWARF* god that looks nasty.... I'd eat it

I demand that my bride wear some sort of bacon latice work dress when I ruin her life (marry her)

@34, I was thinking the same thing. F***in' noobs man.

I was also thinking that we could use these bacon wraps to sell the toilets from the previous post. You get two with every purchase of the pilot / co-pilot toilets, that way, you and a loved one can begin using it right away!

I've actually had one of these before. To a more extreme level.

Please refer to the special sandwhiches section:

http://www.freddiesplaceaustin.com/menu.html

freddie's heart attack
toasted texas toast served open faced with tomatoes, 10 slices of bacon and queso

I felt sick the rest of the day.

this shit is nasty ....fat people eat garbage like this and we end up having to listen to their buIIshit about "inner beauty" and popular culture pressuring people to be skinny
you know who eats this crap? insecure miserable fat people. they can be identified by their vicious, laughable and obviously bitter- jealous comments
posted under any of the celebrity bikini pics columns on the Superficial website.
eating this and being fat is nasty. fat people should get off their asses. those who dont, should be chased by firebreathing dog robots.
two birds with one stone---- no more fat sloths taking up 2 seats on the bus, and robot dogs will have a function/role in our society that will hopefully discourage them from taking over.

God, that is the ultimate stoner food right there.

Honestly you should of included instructions on this one. I should try that. Seriously I should. But at least 1 person had the decency for they're heart and cut it up into slices. Yum!

@34 & 37
What on Earth is a n00b?

I hope it isn't Irish bacon because that might be bad for you.

@41. What part of Step 1: Weave bacon, Step 2: Into the oven at 400 Step 3: all done, Step 4: fill with cheese, Step 5: Roll, Step 6: Slice didn't you understand?

@42
Look in the mirror, now you have your answer.

@39 - That might actually get my lazy ass to exercise... You're right, that would solve the obesity issue...

@46, #39 obviously hates everyone that isn't exactly like him/her/it. Everyone else is having fun though.

I just thought of something @14, you forgot the eggs!

@39

At 350 pounds of pure beefcake, I may not be able to chase you down and bash your f***ing head in with a spare tire. But, i am more than able shoot you in the face from at least 300 yards while you're getting on bus to go to junior high. You are exactly what we don't need more of on this site, more 13-year-olds. I hope a fat man is porking your mom in the back of a KFC right now. A real fat man too. Like Jackie Gleason. "Pow, right in the kisser!"

This is AWESOME!

Really anything with bacon is awesome.

Daisy, you got another one. As much as I hate your "fake" posts, when you snare a poor dope like #29, it makes it worth while.

#39 How do you really feel? C'mon don't hold back this time.

... Want.

While I was having a stent put in place to fix the arteriel blockage this thing caused, I forgot to mention...
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMpukeNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMtasteslikehappyNOMNOMNOMNOM

@39
Hey cum guzzler.. If your going to attack someone get your facts straight first.

Eating fat does NOT make you fat. I know as I've been on a high fat, high protein, trace carbs diet for most of this year (I eat like a dozen eggs a day) and yes my chelosterol was just checked and its fine. What makes it easy to store adapose is when you mix carbs and fats at the same meal (not counting low GI carbs such as green veggies).

I'm
5'6
179lbs
15% body fat

Wait.. did I just fight ignorence with education on geekloogie.. ah crap! What the f*** was I thinking?!? That never works here. :P


PS- So yes.. I may in fact eat this. *smiles evily*

@52 - did you mean ignorance?

^
"Ignorance".
I hope you don't use that education of yours to fight anything else.

@18, I concur. Her or Jessica Alba...either Jessica will do - naked. =P~

@52

and "geekologie"...

Haha - usually not this anal retentive but the fact that both of those errors appeared in your sentence regarding your education combat skills just made it too funny not to point out.

I'm sure its alright if you order it with diet coke

@52

Lose some weight, Fatty McFatass.

lol
that thing is nearly as badas....well.....something like MacDonalds.
I bet that as your eating it, you can just feel it clogging your arteries and you start to pant and sweat because eating this thing is a workout on its own!
I start to sweat and pant everytime i eat MacDonalds.....

Feed a bunch of these to Daisy and maybe we'll lose the photoshop posts after the resulting stoke or heart attack.

@ 39...
You are obviously a photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because your shadow's are all wrong!!!

This thing made me puke a little ... The combination of warm + very salty + very fatty is plain vomilicious.

and, #39, I'd rather have fat people occupying all the double seats on the bus than having you sitting next to me.

OMG! I'm just drinking my cappuccino and I read you'd eat this fat roll in the morning. We italians use to have light breakfast, I'd never be able to digest something like that!! We prefer to eat like blackholes at lunch and dinner :)

are there that many fat people?

including me of course you know it absolves me of any fatty crime

BOING!

@52 "Eating fat does NOT make you fat. "

uhmm..there is more than one reason for why people get fat- do you realize this?

you are fighting "ignorence" ...uhmm...its "ignorance" ..
and what the hell does that mean anyway? your post makes no-sense.
i made fun of fat people....you imply "Eating fat does NOT make you fat. "

so you are saying there is no chance a person can get fat by eating garbage like this?
we all have the same body types is what you mean?
id call you names and shit...but really.....your post sums it up nicely....its like you are thinking of a response but cant put it into words.. or you just missed the point entirely from the start....your comment actually has less merit than my petty insult

"cum guzzler"....wow.good job fighting "ignorence"

SOME people eat garbage and get fat and i made a joke about it.
dont complain -

.when people post jokes about this or that girl being to skinny - no one points figures claiming their being to harsh- rude..etc......its ok to mock someone who may have an eating disorder that is making them skinny and unhealthy.
its absolutely wrong to mock someone who has an eating disorder that is making them fat and unhealthy though..

tv is telling you to be skinny and culture/life style is making you fat....deal with it......dont attack me - it will change nothing accept show your inferiority complex is bigger than your ass.
also my original comment was more of an excuse/ pretext to reference the fire dogs post. so get over it...your not gonna get skinnier typing back to me...

anyway, i gotta get back to work - by work i mean sleeping with beautiful women on top of a huge pile of money

I just had a heart attack looking at the photos. Someone call the paramedics, STAT!!!

You all eat sh1t :) food don't grow in supermarkets ...

@ 67, you missed the whole point too. You don't get fat from eating fat idiot. It's not what you eat but how much you eat that makes you fat.... If you have like...one slice of that delicious baconcake then you'll be fine as long as you don't sit around your house like some lazy nobody doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I love sitting around my house doing nothing, it's one of my hobbies, but I wouldn't do it after eating that. Also, you're just taking this to a whole other level. We're talking about the yummy baconcake and you're arguing on behalf of all skinny women who get made fun of...just shut up. It's just as fun to make fun of skinny disorder chicks as it is to make fun of fat disorder chicks. Making fun is just that, there is no rule about "it's harsh to make fun of skinny chicks but not fat chicks blah blah blah." It's just fun...

wow... 66/67 lovely.. it took you 2 whole comment boxes to correct that guy... wow thats all, wow..annnd im gonna go make one of these!

I googled this bacon weave thing, which looked pretty cool, and found this side dish, the bacon weave cup. Now how bout that... filler up with a healthy salad and your all set.

www.notmartha.org/archives/2008/02/27/bacon-cups/


Here's a couple of improvements to make:

-Add potatoes and sausage to the middle
-After rolling it, stick it in the fridge to set up
-Once it's set, take it out and cut it into thin slices
-Batter and pan-fry the slices. In butter
-Serve over toast, topped with gravy

you should have seen the size of the shit i took after eating it! I swear i was giving birth!

OMG, what terrible is I know where this came from.

Relay Station Bravo ~ You ROCK!!!

Gotta love it when Star Trek geeks get talking about food!

is it too bad that I actually feel like eating this:(?

I WAS SAVING THAT BACON

That is ALL MINE!

I want to eat that

Yeah.. I never layed claim to being a good speller :)

hmmm... I doubt you could do step 5 of the recipe though. Bacon crisps up after baking, if you try to roll it, it'll break. and even if it were half-baked and still soft, it wouldn't hold it's form unless you fry it one more time. :)

This would kill you if you finished it all. "It's so delicious!!!...uh-oh my arteries are clogged..."

In the struggle for world dominance between the Asians and the Americans, you are truly the foot soldiers for the Asians! The Viet-Kong kicked America's ass on a bag full of rice a day, The Iraqi's on a bag of dried seeds and fruits, and the Asians are stealing American manufacturing on rice and aqua-cultured fish along with humanured veggies! The bigger the American ass, the bigger the target! Just think, we need SUV's to drag around our excess bodies now. In ten years, we will need six-wheelers with supercharged engines just to get to the supermarket for groceries! We consume 80% of the worlds resources and have the bet military out there, Bravo fat-assed America! We will last forever, and eat fatter little Asians for snacks soon!

@83 according to cannibals asians are delicious

yummmy

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Bacon Explosion's better. Bacon weaved mat, with barbeque seasoning thrown on, then a layer of ground beef with barbeque seasoning, then more barbecue-sauce cooked bacon chopped inside. Then rolled. And basted with barbeque sauce, and cooked with indirect head, then barbeque basted again, then cooked, then basted, then served. Holy shit, so good. And due to indirect heat cooking, a lot of the fat dripped off while preserving flavor.

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