Dec 24 2008Blast Out Of Bed With The Rocket Alarm!


The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And while this certainly isn't the worst way to wake up, it is a close second behind the SWAT team busting into your bedroom. Those guys act like they've never seen a little morning wood before. Somebody fetch the proverbial buck saw -- this timber looks like a two-man job.

rocket launcher alarm clock blasts into orbit to wake you up

Thanks to Julian, who requires like 16 diamond-toothed chainsaws to dispatch his morning lumber.

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Reader Comments

Can it wake me rectally?

It probably could....

Looks like a kiddie clock

My friend, it can't wake you up any other way.

I would totally lay this thing on its side and point toward my bare naked ass... I just came thinking about it...


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max woke up when he smelled Baja cooking bacon. He got in his cardboard box and snuck into the kitchen. When Baja wasn't looking he ate the bacon and rubbed it all over his rocket, when Baja got curious about the box with the PEWPEWPEW noises coming from it she looked inside, and Max proceeded to install PEWPEWPEW into her.


How come they have a spare tire mounted on it?

Wow, a spare tire comment. Bravo!

Needs more cowbell.

its a dildo

dildos alarm


This smells like photoshop. The shadows ARE all wrong.

This was in a scene of the movie Tender Dracula.
The producer sends the two drunk french actresses to the car of the
drunk overdubbed frenchmen without forewarning the overdubbed frenchmen.
They decide to abandon their jobs and instead move to the Alps, where they build a cabin before winter and spend the next thirty years creating life.

Upon the birth of their first grandson, total nuclear war begins and ends two and a half weeks later. All that the drunk actresses and the overdubbed frenchmen have created over the last third of a century is turned to ash.
Thousands of years later, alien archeologists discover the site, and use inverse potential backtracing to reexperience the life of that place.

When they discover all the joy that was wiped out, the aliens drop to their knees and weep.

@10 F*** U daisy was here first
now about the clock i wouldnt like it besides
who needs a toy rocket when you have a real rocket!!!!!
talk about pewpew!..............ladies.

@6 Epic phail

everytime I come home, my wife is sitting on my alarm clock! strangest thing!


If this clock is anything like the helicopter version then it probably sucks. The heli-one was supposed to spin & shoot off of your clock, bouncing around the room until you can retrieve it to disarm the alarm. All it's really good for it shooting at the cat

i would replace the rocket with a knife... that way i have to get up to avoid being stabbed by a f***ing flying knife

#11 I don't even read those posts. They're too copy-cat to give a chance, and I have a 'why change a good thing' attitude anyways

Whoa, what was that? I mean, someone is crazy enough to come up with this idea, but I dont blame him, because I have seen crazier stuff coming from Japanese guys, and now the chinese morons.

The little jokes you throw in always have me chuckling to myself at my desk.
If it wasn't for this site I probably wouldn't go to work at all (although I do have internet access at home:)

Where there is a will there is a way.

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