Nov 17 2008Oooh, Nice Ride: The New Presidential Limo


General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals, has designed an all new presidential limo for when Barack Obama takes power next year. They were going to do it four years ago, but figured, f*** it, let's focus our efforts on going belly-up for awhile. Anyway, the car.

Most of the specs of this car are top secret, but a few tantalizing details are floating around, such as the five-inch-thick windows that are about half as transparent as regular glass and can stop projectiles from assault rifles, rocket-propelled grenades and high explosives. It's also said to be built of a combination of blast-proof ceramics and exotic metals, and certainly won't have a convertible top or sunroof. While GM's trying to make it look like a Cadillac DTS, it's based on the company's line of heavy-duty 2500 trucks.

Top secret specs my ass. I'll tell you all about this thing: It runs on a rocket engine powered by the tar-like blood of terrorists. It can also hover. Comes complete with dinosaur chauffeur who doubles as sexual masseuse should you hit rush-hour traffic. AM/FM radio. Four tires and spare donut in the trunk. Mini-bar. Wicked two-tone paintjob. Left and right turn signals. Bomb proof undercarriage. 7MPG city/13 highway. A real pussy magnet. I'm serious -- the CIA stole my blueprints.

Obama's new presidential limo is built like a tank, looks like a Cadillac [dvice]

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Reader Comments

but, are the tires bomb/ bullet/ knife proof too?
what's a safe-car if crazy people blow the tires out?

haha, first.....

hey haha

HA freakin HAAA you faaaail

And what happens when the driver locks his keys in the car? Then the only way to open it would be to take it back to the fires of Mount Doom where it was first constructed....

Oh and Batman called. No, he doens't miss his limo, he just wanted to say hello.

No PEW PEW PEW gettin' in this biatch.

Hey Gookologie Writer - This could be a problem. I blame Obama:

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This is the Caddy I was reffering to in the last post....

Looks like a cross between a Limo and a Hummer, ....a Lummer.

Looks like a cross between a Limo and a Hummer,.....a LUMMER.

excuse me... I had the hickups!

Quite possibly the ugliest car I've ever seen.

OK, I know I'll get in trouble, but how much do you want to bet the new prez requests "Spinners" and an Alpine stereo?

c'mon, it's funny, you know it is...

needs a better paint job. Doesn't look very presidential to me.

*against the window* FAP FAP FAP FAP

That reminds me... This limo will have tank treads and a spare tire, just cuz that's how america rolls!


Yesss, it is. But be nice.

He could also have a "half court" installed in the back.

I shouldn't have, but Thumperchica started

Convertable option? Back, and to the left.

I agree with #11 in that it is ridiculously ugly. What is with the combination of mirror black and dull grey? Come on it's gross!

I want to be on the team that gets to test the design out. Come on guys, spinners, really? You went there? That's jsut wrong, it's going to have gold spoke players rims with the bonus LED message package built in. DUH!

I thought Obama was just going to go for a classic lo-rider as the power of "hope" will protect him.

I want some switches installed for that bitch. - Signed, Your motha f'ing president
(P.S-Obama for the win!)

That's the power of "Ho", not "hope. He hopes to be protected by a bunch of Ho's.

P.S.S- I want some mothaf***in gold flake paint sprayed on that bitch...don't give me no fools gold either

Before McGloin has a chance to say this, isn't it odd that the car for Obama is half black?

*sings Low Rider*
bewp bewp bewp bewp bep bep bew
bew bew bew bew -boo


Thats a complete photoshop job. You can tell its fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

If Max had this car in the movie Never Back Down baja probably would have gone out with him.

wow, ugly.

Anybody else think this is a bit excessive?

@12 Well, Seeing as how we're taking shots at his black half..What about his white half?....I'm sure he gonna want to have something to bump on that Alpine stereo of his. So I'm thinking The Who U2 maybe?



Daisy's boobs are a complete photoshop job. You can tell they are fake because the squishyness is all wrong.

I bet that thing bumps! With windows five inches thick, you can put some SERIOUS subs in that beeotch!


BAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...cough...hahaha..choke..hahaHA! In my estimation, Bill was blacker.

HAHA! General Motors... General Mills... haha, that was funny!

Ah did General Motors Buy Chrysler already? cause DODGE makes the 2500 Truck NOT GM .... Stupid retards learn to google.

For all the fools who think it's ugly... this is a mule shot. The final car will most certainly be a uniform black.

This car is a giant step forward for Hardvard Law grauates in the US! Most other law school graduates have already been riding these too and from Secret Funzone for decades.

p.s. Cat's outta the bag!

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Better put Obama in a thicker glass (bottle) and throw him in the sea.
I hope America follows.

What ever it takes to keep MY new president safe. My, oh, my. How I do love that new president of mine! Long live Obama!

The tires have wide steel plates inside them. If the rubber is damaged, the vehicle can still roll on the steel plate. Doesn't even slow down.
There is very little that can stop one of these heavily augmented juggernauts.

Big wheels rule!

Cadillac drools.

that thing must weigh a hundred tons

I think they should make it look a little more ghetto. You know, some bondo, key scratches, big-ass whomping speakers. It also reminds me of the car the aliens who abducted me were driving, right before they made me put on the bite-counting apparatus to wear while making fiber-optic wallpaper in the grays crystal-filled apartment.

@33 - You're a jackass, Chevy, GMC both have 1500, 2500HD, 3500HD model trucks. Speaking of google, go use it.

@28 - maybe some jazz fusion? Flip Flops, Jamba juice, and a driver named Buffy?

Bwahaa 40 some odd posts and I still get to be the 1st to say it!


... Sorry I meant to say "Hope Train"

And not to get toooo far off topic but does anyone else find it funny that the new black president got elected by begging for change?

"General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals" - LOL

@45 damn you the whole time i waas reading comments i was thinking whistle tips whistle tips. douchebag!

ugh hate the paint job, looks like two different cars got ductaped together

Oh wait, they forgot the 24 inch rims, 10 subwoofers, hydraulics, and kool-aid dispenser.

If only you had any idea of what your talking about, which is absolutely NOTHING. Your a hacker writer w/no resources/research/or brain in your head. And to all you retards that don't recognize primer, yes that is primer you know that gray stuff-GM produced a top of line vehicle for our President-So called writer/bloggers like you give hack to the freedom of speech liberty we all share.

That really is a limo, check my limos out then, l have a limo hire company in the UK.

Hey this is one nice limo, when my seo company takes off, hopefully l can be chauffeured around in a limo just as nice.

I have many chauffeurs, and l know all of them would be proud to drive this limo.

Looks like a cross between a Limo and a Hummer,.....a LUMMER.

that is a hot little ride

If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me.

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