Oct 31 2008 Eff It, I'm Going As A Dork: iPhone Costumes

While The Superficial Writer has been doing his patriotic duty posting hot celebrities in their Halloween costumes, I get stuck with a bunch of goofballs dressed as iPhones. What the f***. Anyway, I like the dog one. All the others suck, except for maybe the baby seat one. That one was cute. Seriously though, I see you dressed like an iPhone tonight, and I'm pushing your buttons. Figuratively. And, since it is Halloween, literally too. *BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP* I'm calling your mom!

Continue Reading " Eff It, I'm Going As A Dork: iPhone Costumes "

Oct 31 2008 Coming Soon To A (Pervert's) Webcam Near You: Weird Augmented Reality Manga Chicks

Dennou AR Figures were released in Japan earlier this month by Geisha Entertainment. It's a software package bundled with a special cube and paddle that you move in front of a webcam to interact with your make-believe lady friend. Mostly I think they were made so you could look up their skirts and spank them, which, while disturbing, is by no means surprising. You know what? This is the last straw -- I'm moving to Japan.

Dennou Figure ARis [canneddogs]

Thanks to cubesquared, lover all things boxy.

Oct 31 2008 Kid Arrested For Convincing (Senile) Grandma To Perform In His Ganster Rap Video

The elderly: they're wrinkly. AND highly desirable to perform in homemade gangster rap videos. Who would have known? Not me. But apparently Michael Alfinez, 18, from Lake Worth, Florida, was in on the secret. The youth is serving 18 months in jail for abusing the elderly and firearms charges.

The footage showed Marie Huertas, 85, wearing a full black balaclava and, after repeated instructions, uttering a number of gangsta rap phrases that included expletives.

A sheriff's report said Alfinez had admitted dressing up his grandmother and persuading her to flash a gun and money at the camera.

Alfinez said he got the idea from a Gangstas & Thugs DVD - which show real footage rather younger hoodlums in action - and "knew (his) grandmother could be like that, too, or better".

Wow, that's one cool grandma. Mine just bakes pies and smells funny. Ha, did I mention the cats? There are cats.

US teenager jailed for 'grandmother gangster rap video' [telegraph]

Thanks to ray, whose grandmother can bust a cap better than you can.

Oct 31 2008 Happy Halloween!: A Scary Dancing Robot

Ah, Halloween. The holiday where I dress up like a ninja turtle and all the girls dress up down to see who can wear the least amount of clothes possible. And they still have the nerve to tell me to watch where I'm swinging my nunchucks (I'm Michelangelo, damnit!). Well, to herald in this holiest of holy days, here comes a scary video of a dancing hexapod robot. Yeah, one with a freaking human head on top. With glowing red eyes. Just imagine the creepy little bastard scuttling across the floor and humping your leg tonight when you're trying to get your spook on. Oh, oh no --my own vivid imagery just ruined my Halloween pants.

Horrifyingly wonderful hexapod dancing [hackaday]

Thanks Monique and Jason, I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight.

Oct 31 2008 Giant LEGO Figure Appears On Beach

A giant LEGO minifig maxifig washed up on the beach of Brighton, England a few days ago, and nobody knows where the hell he came from.

The Lego man is 6ft tall in red, yellow and green. It is presumed to have washed up on the beach, but whether it has come from a cargo ship or from across the Channel is not clear.

Brighton resident Gerry Turner, 34, said: "It's very odd. God knows how it got here but people are saying it's from Holland because it's got some Dutch writing on it. It must have fallen off a boat of something. The kids love it."

Fallen off a boat or something? How many boats do you know of with giant LEGO men manning the sails? Exactly, only a handful. No, I think there's a much more logical answer to this mystery. And that, my friends, is God.

Giant lego man appears on Brighton beach [telegraph]

Thanks to ShitBitch Carl, who used to captain a LEGO pirate ship in the Carribbean.

Oct 31 2008 You Have Got To Be Freaking Kidding Me: Luxury Screen Cleaning Fluid For TVs

The end is nigh: luxury screen cleaning fluids -- for the flatscreen television owner who has everything, except a freaking brain. They come in two varieties, EazyCare and OneClean, and cost $32 and $24, respectively. WTF!

AM's specially developed water-based screen cleaner formula contains no IPA or other alcohol. Our formula is effective, but also gentle. AM's screen cleaner fluid can be used on all types of screens or surfaces.

Really? Really? I know that shit's just water. Nice try guys, but I didn't just fall off the back of a truck. I did get hit by a chick on a moped though. Watch where you're going!

Luxury screen cleaning fluid - for the geek who has everything [techdigest]

Thanks to Sugar Honey, who is allegedly made of sugar and spice and everything nice. And honey. Definitely some honey.

Oct 31 2008 Miners Stumble Upon Fortress Of Solitude, Superman Pissed, Can't Find Solitude

So apparently what scientists are dubbing the 'Cave of Crystals' was discovered 1,000ft beneath the Chiihuahua Desert in Mexico.

Up to 170 giant, luminous obelisks - the biggest is 37.4ft long and the equivalent height of six men - jut across the grotto like tangled pillars of light; and the damp rock of their walls is covered with yet more flawless clusters of blade-sharp crystal.

When, about 600,000 years ago, the magma began to cool, the minerals started to precipitate out of the water, and over the centuries the tiny crystals they formed grew and grew until 1985, when miners unwittingly drained the cave as they lowered the water table with mine pumps.

Unfortunately, the temperature stays around 112F with a humidity near 100%. So yeah, Superman likes it hot and muggy. Superman living in Mexico -- who would have thought! I figured he had set up shop in Norway or Iceland. He must stick around to put the moves on the drunk co-eds that come down to Cancun for spring break. A couple margaritas with the little umbrellas in them, and then BAM, Superman dem hoes! Holy shit -- Superman's a sexual predator.

Hit the jump for two more pictures (including a picture of the real Fortress of Solitude) and an informative video. Learning is fun!

Continue Reading " Miners Stumble Upon Fortress Of Solitude, Superman Pissed, Can't Find Solitude "

Oct 31 2008 Track That Ass With Some GPS Lingerie

The "Find Me If You Can" lingerie line from Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio comes with a GPS-uplink unit inside so you can catch your woman jumping some other guy's bones if she's really stupid and don't know there's a brick-sized piece of electronic equipment conspicuously sewn into her undergarment. The different styles sell between $800 and $1,100 and definitely aren't worth it. If you really want to keep track of your woman, and on the cheap, I've got three words for you: rope, and tree. Kidding! She's gonna need a water bowl too.

Designer Lingerie Has Embedded GPS-Uplink For Lady Location [gizmodo]

Thanks to Mpoo Zea, who once went geocaching and found a leprechaun's gold. Gimme the gold. I want the gold.

Oct 30 2008 Thriller: One Guy, 64 Different Voices

This is a video of a guy singing Michael Jackson's iconic Thriller acapella using 64 clips of himself making all the different noises. I was impressed, and you could clearly tell it was a labor of love. Probably illegal love.

Thriller as a 64-Voice Acapella [collegehumor]

Thanks to Ravage, who played Thriller on the kazoo for a middle school talent show.

Oct 30 2008 Great, Now Even Our Plants Are Twittering

That's right folks, thanks to ThinkGeek's $100 DIY Plant Twitter Kit, now even your houseplants can Twitter their little photosynthesizing hearts out.

Once the kit is assembled, connect it to the Internet through the built-in ethernet jack, jam the leads into the plant's soil, and subscribe to the plant's twitter feed. It will tell you when it needs watering, or scold you if you've overwatered it, and report its status in between.

Finally, Twittering plants! Technology is amazing, isn't it? And in other Twitter news, Geekologie tipster Vanessa just informed me Britney Spears has signed up. So, yeah.

GeekologieWriter: @ the world. Well played. Goodbye you cruel bastard.

Product Page

Thanks to Sarah and Vanessa, whose Twitter feeds I read religiously.

Oct 30 2008 Oh My God, I'm Floating!: A Hover Chair

The Lounger is a $9,600 floating chair that will be on display at Britain's Stuff Live gadget show this weekend.

Inventor Keith Dixon, of Sussex-based Hoverit Ltd, said he was inspired as a child by the anti-gravity Landspeeder vehicles in the "Star Wars" films.

"The sensation you feel as you lie back and close your eyes is totally different -- like floating on a cloud," said a Stuff Live spokesman. Its 6,000 pound ($9,620) price tag may bring visitors back down to earth with a bump, however.

Floating on a cloud, huh? More like floating on a piece of hard molded plastic. Last time I felt like I was floating on a cloud I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled and high as Benjamin Franklin's kite on laughing gas. I jusht bit frew muh lip!

Rise above economic woes with the hover chair [reuters]

Thanks to Jack, who can hover without magnets. He's a magician!

Oct 30 2008 Man Wants To Marry Comic Book Character

A Japanese man has started a petition to allow humans to marry comic book characters. And no, it's not The Superficial Writer. Just kidding, it totally is.

I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world. However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorize marriage with a two-dimensional character?

Amazingly, he's not the only one. In his campaign to collect a million signatures, he's run across several other nutjobs.

For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love," one person wrote. Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost.

Wow, just wow. And also, WTF! I'm not sure if the character in the picture is the one of interest, but if it is, well, the dude's gay. Which will probably require some more legislation. Now, where do I sign?

Japanese man petitions to marry comic-book character [yahoonews]

Thanks to Angeline and Leigh, chicks who read Geekologie, amazing!

Oct 30 2008 Transformers That Didn't Make The Cut

This is a little art gallery of Transformers that didn't make the cut. Transfailures, if you will. They're still scary as hell though, and I've always suspected my vacuum was a robot in disguise. Which is why i smashed it into a million pieces. And guess what? The broom and dustpan turned out to be robots too! But seriously, goddamn is the floor dirty in here.

Hit the jump for the rest of the gallery, of which only the last picture gave me some hope for the impending robot apocalypse.

Continue Reading " Transformers That Didn't Make The Cut "

Oct 30 2008 Why?: The Samsonite O(MGWTFBBQ)BAG

The Samsonite OBAG is a rolling suitcase in which the two compartments remain level with the ground while the unit is pulled along. Because, let's face it, dizzy clothes are unhappy clothes. It can also easily be dragged up stairs or thrown down an elevator shaft. Unfortunately, high maneuverability comes at a cost: namely storage space. There isn't any. You might as well just pack a tire instead -- that's what I do. Leaves my clothes smelling nice and rubbery. Oh, and what's this -- hello spinner hubcap! *BLING*

Hit the jump for a bunch more pics.

Continue Reading " Why?: The Samsonite O(MGWTFBBQ)BAG "

Oct 30 2008 In Time For Halloween: LED LEGO Minifigs

Just in time for Halloween comes a DIY article on how to stuff an LED into a LEGO minifig's carved out head. It isn't too complicated, so if you have some LEDs lying around you could make a pretty sweet LEGO Halloween diorama tonight and be ready for tomorrow. And, honestly, is there anything cooler than celebrating the devil's holiday with LEGO minifigs? No, there isn't. Well, except for the rich family that hands out full-size Snickers bars.

Hit the jump for more pictures and a link to the DIY page.

Continue Reading " In Time For Halloween: LED LEGO Minifigs "

Oct 29 2008 Where Are All The Forks?: A Utensil Table

Welding a bunch of flatware together to make a table, brilliant. As you can see, it's got all the standard utensils like forks and butter knives. Oh shit, and the other ones that have the little bowl at the end. Those.

This limited edition table/sculpture by Objection Design, entitled Precious Famine, is a found object piece made entirely of Cristofle silverware.

Precious Famine -- what a clever name for a flatware table! Actually, I don't get it. But honestly, I don't get a lot of things. Like laid, or paid for writing this.

Objection Design : Precious Famine [myninjaplease]

Thanks to ray, whose spork table was actually the inspiration for this piece. F***ing hacks!

Oct 29 2008 Circular Saw Won't Cut Fingers, Hot Dogs

The SawStop is a circular saw designed to prevent you from cutting all your fingers off. Personally, I think fingers are overrated.

The blade carries a small electrical charge. This charge is continuously monitored by a digital signal processor. When contact is made, the human body absorbs some of the charge, causing the voltage to drop. The drop in voltage triggers a quick release aluminum break. A heavy duty spring forces the brake into the teeth of the spinning blade. The teeth dig into the aluminum, stopping the blade cold. The blade's momentum forces it to retract below the table, and the motor is automatically shut off.

Wow, that's great. Except in the video, they only use hot dogs. If it works so well, why not use a real finger? F*** it, I say the inventor put his junk on line.

Youtube

Thanks to Jeff, who makes beans & weenies the old fashioned way, with a table saw.

Oct 29 2008 Cool: Guy Makes Open Source Gameboy

Nearly 20 years after the original, a guy has developed an open source Gameboy made with fairly basic components. If you're interested, you can actually buy a kit with all you need here for $250. Or, if you're MacGyver, you could just make your own with a handful of paperclips, a disposable plastic plate, an iPhone, the batteries from your girlfriend's vibrator. Alternatively, if your girlfriends swears she doesn't have a special friend (despite your having heard a humming in the bathroom), you're going to need a potato.

Hit the jump for another picture and some videos.

Continue Reading " Cool: Guy Makes Open Source Gameboy "

Oct 29 2008 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Guy Trying To Sell Wife Online UPDATE: New Lower Price!

A Romanian man genius is trying to sell his 25-year old wife online. Why? Because that's the best goddamn idea I've ever heard, that's why.

Alex Cretu, 20, who lives in Bucharest, hoped to get around $8 million but has lowered his price to $6,000 for a quick sale. His ad on www.okazii.ro reads: "Wife for sale. Model 1983, good condition. Full option, nice suspensions, spacious boot, second owner. Price is negotiable, comes with three-year-old and five-year-old accessories. Seriousness demanded."

Alex says he placed his ad on the site partly because he had got fed up of his wife nagging him all of the time and partly as a joke.

Partly as a joke my ass.

Romanian man puts wife up for sale [propeller]

Thanks to Pat, who I wish had sent this tip a year ago.

Oct 29 2008 Thanks But No Thanks: A Beer Pouring Robot

TMCO is a metal products manufacturer in Lincoln, Nebraska, that, for a recent open house, programmed one of their factory robots to act as bartender. Although, truthfully, he doesn't actually pour your drinks for you, he just operates the tap and demands tips. Seriously, I have to hold my own glass up there, and then you expect a tip? I did just as much work as you did! You, robot beer-pourer, are a greedy asshole. Quick, somebody pull his plug, I'll grab the tip jar!

Beer-Pouring Robot [neatorama]

Thanks to Michael, who knows I'll post any tip that has "beer" and "robot" in the title.

Oct 29 2008 Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike

The Cartrider was designed by Jaebeom Jeong and combines a shopping cart and trike. That way you can do your shopping faster, and while seated. Alternatively, you can just use one of the motorized scooters that grocery stores have available for disabled patrons and play the grocery store game. 2 points are awarded for hitting a pedestrian shopper, and an additional 5 every time you hit the same person again. 15 points for each end-of-aisle display you knock over, and 100 if you ride the scooter home before the battery dies. 500 if there's a low-speed chase involved.

Hit the jump for two more pictures.

Continue Reading " Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike "

Oct 29 2008 Stick It To The Man: Watch New AC/DC Video In Stunning Microsoft Excel-Vision

Your company got Youtube access blocked? Well fear not intrepid Geekologie reader, because now you can download AC/DC's latest music video "Rock N Roll Train" to watch in Microsoft Excel. Oh happy day! It's hands down in the piss poorest low definition I've ever seen, but I did make out somebody's head, and, quite possibly, a guitar. Download the file here, then, when your boss walks by, give him the horns and tell him where to shove it.* **

*Hint: the ass.

**Geekologie not responsible for loss of employment.

Official Website (with download)

Thanks to Daniel, who sticks it to the man better than anyone else I know.

Oct 29 2008 Halloweenie: The Compumpkin Cube

The Compumpkin Cube cake is the lovechild of a companion cube and Jack the Pumpkin King. You can tell because, instead of the little hearts in the center of each side, it has testicular looking pumpkins instead.

First of all, the bottom tier is Chocolate Devil's Food cake and the top tier is Triple Vanilla.

The cube itself is about 8.5" in every dimension before all the bits and bobs were put on. And we made sure it was exactly the same measurement on each side. After buttercreaming it, we put 20 fondant squares (4 to each side) that were painted with moonstone lustre dust. The we put the orange tubing in (which really glowed! It made this cake that much more awesome, plus delivering it at night was fantastic, I kept giggling to myself every time I saw it in my car glowing).

Mmmm, glowing orange tubing and moonstone lustre dust. That, my friends, makes for a great tasting cake. Albeit a cancerous one.

Compumpkin Cube [thecakeblog]

Thanks to Amy, who is obsessed with cakes & pies and shares a love/hate relationship with yours truly.

Oct 28 2008 Not Awesome: Worst Body/Case Mod Ever

Not only does this moron have a sarape tacked to the wall as a window treatment, he's got a freaking computer duct taped to his nuts. Now why is he not being electrocuted? And, more importantly, who the hell took the picture? $20 says it was his mom.

Caption Contest: Naked man who is also a computer; eye bleach not included [engadget]

Oct 28 2008 Tuttuki Bako (aka The Fingerbang Game)

Tuttuki Bako is a new video game where a player interacts with the device by sticking their finger in a hole. Your finger then appears on the LCD screen, and you can make contact with the characters in the game. If you can even call this a game -- all I saw was some chick fingerbanging a plastic box. Which was totally awesome in its own right. And its own wrong. Mostly wrong. Still, I think we can all agree that by the time you read this you've already considered sticking your penis in it.

Hit the jump for two more game videos.

Continue Reading " Tuttuki Bako (aka The Fingerbang Game) "

Oct 28 2008 Whee! View Outerspace From A Fishbowl

Not cool with viewing space from the cramped confines of a tiny dildo? Well how about the 360-degree views offered from the "Fishbowl Spaceship".

The company, founded by iD software (Doom, Quake) chief John Carmack, plans to build this far-fetched space bubble next year, aiming to start its first suborbital flights a year later. The company says a ticket on this wild ride will cost you a relatively cheap $100,000.

Awesome, now fumigate the bubble to get rid of those anal space tentacles and I'm sold.

Fishbowl Spaceship to give tourists a breathtaking 360-degree view [dvice]

Thanks to LSDiesel, who once huffed a bunch of nitrous and then heard this WAWAWAWAWA in his head that made him feel like he was on a spaceship.

Oct 28 2008 Dynamics Of A Cough Caught On Film

That's right, what you're looking at is some nasty bastard coughing, and the resulting air turbulence. Sick!

Schlieren photography involves shining collimated light past a knife edge onto a target, and variations in the refractive index of moving air create "shadows" of a sort in the image captured on film, and it's most often used to solve aeronautical air-flow problems, or weapons in action.

Okay, I don't understand what that means. But scientists plan to use the data gathered from these photos to study the spread of diseases like SARS, AIDS, the herp, the clap, the snap, the shocker, the Spocker, the body rocker, gingivitis, crabs, and hangnails. Just kidding, not SARS.

Cough Captured on Film Using Supersonic Photography Technique [gizmodo]

Oct 28 2008 Star Wars And Star Trek Dollar Origami

Won Park folds dollar bills. And so do I. But while he folds his into Star Wars and Star Trek ships, I fold mine in half the long way and give them to strippers. Obviously, we're equally talented. That's a $3 Millennium Falcon in the picture being pursued by what I suspect are a pair of $1 T.I.E. Fighters. But who knows, maybe they're $2 T.I.E. Fighters. One thing's for certain though: if you rip a dollar in half and then fold it a bunch, you can tip strippers twice as often for the same amount of money. Genius? Yes. Bouncer break my arm? Thank god for voice recognition software.

Hit the jump for a couple more of my favorites, including the Enterprise, and a link to the gallery.

Continue Reading " Star Wars And Star Trek Dollar Origami "

Oct 28 2008 OLD!: UFO Guy Probably Tripping Constantly

You've probably seen this video before, but I hadn't. Does that make you better than me? Oh fo sho. Anyway, it's some guy that has sneaking acid onto planes down pat, rambling about a UFO siting in Chicago last winter. He reminds me of the rainbow lady, if the rainbow lady was a dude telling me my face was melting off.

Thanks to Miriam, who loves antiques as much as I do.

Oct 28 2008 Man Restores Hover BMW From BTTF

Jeff Chabotte is a Back to the Future fanboy and somehow managed to get his hands on Griff Tannen's BMW 633 HoverCar from the second movie. Unfortunately, even after a complete restoration it still doesn't hover an...Jeff -- what in the f*** kind of pose is that?

Fan Restores Back To The Future Hover BMW [thebadandugly]

Thanks to ray, who, had he restored the vehicle, would be hovering his ass off right now.

Oct 28 2008 Well Hello: Olivia Munn's Costume Party

Attack of the Show's Olivia Munn recently appeared in a Halloween spread for Complex Magazine's October issue. As you can see, she's looking pretty good. I mean I'm not dying to write home about her, but I might fire off a quick email. F*** it, I'm texting.

Hit the jump for a larger shot of each costume and a behind the scenes video.

Continue Reading " Well Hello: Olivia Munn's Costume Party "

Oct 27 2008 Dying Is Fun!: Rocket Car To Go 1,000 MPH

In 1997 Pilot Andy Green went 763mph in the Thrust SuperSonic Car, and now, 10 years later, is building a car that will potentially hit 1,000mph. And, hopefully for him, nothing else.

"Bloodhound isn't just about building a quick car," Andy told us. "Our main concern is education - we want this to be inspire kids to get into engineering. What better way to spark-up enthusiasm than building a 1000 mph car, then building the theory behind it into the National Curriculum?"

And consider this: 1000mph is literally faster than a speeding bullet. "If you shot at me with a hand gun, the bullet would just gently nudge into the back of the car," Green says.

Wow, faster than a speeding bullet -- move over Superman! Seriously, scoot the f*** over, you just touched my leg.

Hit the jump for several more conceptual pictures, a video of the Thrust run, and a conceptual video of the Bloodhound.

Continue Reading " Dying Is Fun!: Rocket Car To Go 1,000 MPH "

Oct 27 2008 Music Face: Wait, Why'd You Do That Again?

Daito Manabe is probably a masochist. And definitely a weirdo. What does he do?

He tapes electric stimulators, looking like the same type used for electroshock therapy, to his face, and syncs them with his music so his involuntary facial contortions match up with the tune.

Now that's what I call dancing! Or, alternatively, now that's what I call freaking stupid!

Innovations in Visualizer Technology: Electroshock Your Face [gizmodo]

Thanks to Adam, who, for threatening to quit, is fired.

Oct 27 2008 ZOMG, Really? I'm So Shocked: Palin Halloween Effigy Stirs Controversy

West Hollywood resident Chad Michael Morisette, Alanis's talentless brother ( just kidding, no relation -- that we know of) hung a Sarah Palin effigy in front of his house as a Halloween decoration. Oh, and he also has a McCain mannequin coming out of a ring of fire. According to Chiz (can I call you Chiz?), "it should be seen as art, and as within the month of October. It's Halloween, it's time to be scary it's time to be spooky."

First of all Chaz (I'm calling you Chaz), I'm all about pushing limits, but this shit just isn't scary or spooky. She looks like Mary Poppins. And she doesn't even have eyes. Damnit, Clifford, I guess what I'm getting at is this: she's not MILF-y enough.

News video after the jump if you care.

Continue Reading " ZOMG, Really? I'm So Shocked: Palin Halloween Effigy Stirs Controversy "

Oct 27 2008 Oh God, No. No, No, No: Robot Determines Humans Taste Like Bacon, Are Delicious

Great. NEC's Tasting Robot, the diminutive bastard originally designed to assess wines, has now assessed humans -- and determined they'd taste delicious.

It's all pretty straightforward tech: stick a bit of nosh in front of the robogourmet's infrared spectrometer and it analyzes the reflected light to determine the chemical composition of the sample. A nice trick, although it can only be programmed to accurately identify a few dozen wines.

Innocent enough, you may think. However, when NEC demonstrated the cybersommelier to a reporter and snapper from Associated Press, the robot claimed the former's hand tasted of prosciutto ham, while the latter apparently had the unmistakable whiff of bacon about him.

Great, so it looks like we might end up fighting the robot and zombie apocalypses simultaneously. Wow, could today get any better? Not unless I get hit by a delivery truck. Oh shit -- or see a boob.

Humans taste of bacon, says gourmet robot [theregister]

Thanks to Birchie, king of ruining my day.

Oct 27 2008 Just Pull Over: A Lamborghini Police Car

Lamborghini, for some unknown reason, gave the Italian State Police a ridiculously policed-out 560hp 5.2-liter V10 Gallardo. I suspect it has something to do with not uncovering their illegal business practices, but that's purely my own speculation (and 100% fact). I'm not sure which officer gets to drive the car, but if I had to guess, I'd say they all fight over it. Like little girls. Little Italian girls with accents and mustachios.

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, a video, and a link to an even massive-r gallery.

Continue Reading " Just Pull Over: A Lamborghini Police Car "

Oct 27 2008 Waves Of The Future: Internet, Buckypaper

Call me crazy, but I think this whole internet thing is really gonna take off one day. And, quite possibly, Buckypaper. It may just look like a turd wafer, but it's actually a paper-thin series of (carbon nano)tubes.

Buckypaper is 10 times lighter but potentially 500 times stronger than steel when sheets of it are stacked and pressed together to form a composite. Unlike conventional composite materials, though, it conducts electricity like copper or silicon and disperses heat like steel or brass.

Buckypaper is made from tube-shaped carbon molecules 50,000 times thinner than a human hair. Due to its unique properties, it is envisioned as a wondrous new material for light, energy-efficient aircraft and automobiles, more powerful computers, improved TV screens and many other products.

Well damn, I bet ol' Buckminster is on cloud nine right now. Literally -- he died in 1983. But seriously, what good is black paper if you don't have a white pencil?

Future planes, cars may be made of 'buckypaper' [usatoday]

Thanks to The_Don, who invented Buckypaper, rock, scissors, and never loses.

Oct 27 2008 What A Wonderful Super Mario World

Geekologie songwriter in residence brentalfloss is back at it, this time with a ditty called "Super Mario World", sung in the style of "What a Wonderful World". And, as a longtime Louis Armstrong fan and guy who drank his weight in gin & tonic (I hate gin) in New Orleans last week: I lost a contact in an ice-filled urinal and had to beat up a stripper. True story.

Youtube

Thanks to brentalfloss, the man behind the microphone.

Oct 27 2008 Knife Skills: Pumpkin Carving Champion

Well folks, with Valentine's just around the corner I figured I'd do a bunch of holiday-related posts this week. And what better way to get things rolling than with some dude's L337 pumpkin carving skills?

Congratulations to Ray Villafane, a sculptor for DC Comics on his win Sunday night on the Food Network's Pumpkin Carving Challenge. The six and half hour event pitted four pumpkin carvers against each other in a three part competition. Part one involved a traditional Jack o Lantern. Part two: 3D sculpture. The final part, which was worth half of the points was the freestyle competition.

Ray dominated all three parts of the competition and took home $10,000 and two pumpkin groupies.

Hit the jump to see the two other pumpkins and the cutest damn werewolf-child ever.

Continue Reading " Knife Skills: Pumpkin Carving Champion "

Oct 24 2008 Blast Off Into Space (Cramped And Alone)!

Copenhagen Suborbitals wants to send you into space, and on the cheap. Which means alone and stuffed into a little capsule atop a freaking rocket. Only limited arm movement will be possible, and you'll probably develop an itch on your back you can't scratch, which will inevitably ruin the entire trip. During the flight you'll experience 3g forces on your way to the far reaches of passing out and puking on yourself and then dying. No word on cost, but can you really put a pricetag on crashing into the moon?

Micro spacecraft to blast single brave rider into space [dvice]

And a very Happy Birthday to loyal Geekologist Jennifer, who, for her special day, can borrow my pet unicorn and fly him to the stars.

Oct 24 2008 I've Seen It All Now: Freaky Star Wars Porn

This is some freaky-deaky Star Wars porn by an artist named Miravi. This is the tamest picture I could find, so you can imagine what some of the other stuff is like. Think fully nude hardcore shit that'll burn your corneas out (I can type by touch). So, yeah. There are two more pictures after the jump, and a link to the gallery, which is WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY NSFW. You hear me? You will be fired before you can tell the IT guy "I thought I was being Rick Rolled, I swear!" And on top of being unemployed, you'll be branded perv of the year. But seriously, if anybody actually uses these pictures to, you know, PEW PEW!, make sure to leave a comment so we can all make fun of you. Wait -- actually, don't.

Hit it pervert.

Continue Reading " I've Seen It All Now: Freaky Star Wars Porn "

Oct 24 2008 Almost Transformers, Almost Funny

Almost Transformers is a skit by Australian comedians Merrick and Rosso in which they don refrigerator and clothes dryer costumes and try to scare people walking by. I thought it was okay. Out of four stars I give it Pluto.

Youtube

Thanks to Roberto, who needs no transformation to be devilishly handsome.

Oct 24 2008 Walking House Can Run Away From Floods

Art collective N55 built a walking house complete with bathroom and kitchen that can start hoofing it should shit hit the proverbial air-exchanger. It was allegedly designed to move to higher ground should a flood hit Britain. WTF, do they not have mobile homes in England? And if not, I'm moving there.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video of the leggy bastard in action.

Continue Reading " Walking House Can Run Away From Floods "

Oct 24 2008 Moron Calls In Sick, Busted On Facebook

Kyle Doyle, a 21-year old asshat from Australia, went out one night and got himself good and drunk. And then, like a little pussy, didn't want to go to work the next day. So what did he do? He called his employer and told them he was out due to a "valid medical reason". But then he updated his Facebook profile.

Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f*** it i'm still trashed SICKIE WOO.

Oh man, I want to get trashed SICKIE WOO. I don't even know what it means but damn it sounds like fun. But seriously Kyle, accept my friendship request already.

Hit the jump to read the full exchange between Kyle and HR from when he tried to get his leave processed as a valid sick day.

Continue Reading " Moron Calls In Sick, Busted On Facebook "

Oct 24 2008 OLD!: Grocery Store Wars

This is an older video but I'd never seen it, so I assume there are some of you out there that haven't either. It's Star Wars made in a grocery store with produce and other edibles, with a "buy organic and free range products" undertone. Well, not so much an undertone. More of an overtone. Oh, and rumor has it that it's fake, been shopped (the shadows are all wrong), and is actually a deleted scene from the summer blockbuster Never Back Down. *puts gun in mouth*

Youtube

Thanks to Nava, who likes the way asparagus makes his pee smell.

Oct 24 2008 Disappointment: iBone Is Not What I Expected

This is not what I thought a product called the Haute Diggity Dog iBone would be. It's just a plush dog toy ($12) that resembles an iPhone with dog-related applications. It might not even have a squeaker! Oh wait, yes it does. Hold on, incoming email.

From: The Superficial Writer
To: The Geekologie Writer
Subject: iBone

iBone'd your girlfriend!
BOW WOW WOW YIPPIE YO YIPPIE YAY!

Awesome.

iBone chew toy gives sneak peek at dog-centric App Store [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, undisputed king of New York City burritos.

Oct 24 2008 I Smell Cancer!: Scotch Tape Emits X-Rays

So scotch tape can produce x-rays (that's a real picture taken with a 30-second exposure showing visible light emission from a roll).

In a tour de force of office supply physics, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, have shown that it is possible to produce X-rays by simply unrolling Scotch tape.

In the current issue of the journal Nature, Dr. Putterman and his colleagues report that surprisingly fierce flows of electrons were unleashed as the tape was unpeeled and its gooey adhesive snapped free of the surface. The electrical currents, in turn, generated strong, short bursts of X-rays -- each burst, about a billionth of a second long, contained about 300,000 X-ray photons.

Great, so now I have finger cancer.

UPDATE: My stapler cured me!

From a Strip of Scotch Tape, X-Rays [nytimes]

Thanks to Raymond, mkaggie, and Sarahj, who have all been exposed to Post-Its.

Oct 24 2008 The Incredible, Edible (Healthy) Death Star

This is a Death Star made out of a cantaloupe. It's probably a lot healthier for you than the cake version. And less tasty. Far less tasty. But if you had two, well, then I'd have to stick my face in between them.

Fan Made: An Edible and Healthy Death Star [cinematical]

Thanks to Pat, a fellow melon fan.

Oct 23 2008 Man Divorces Woman's Avatar In Online World, Woman 'Kills' Man's Character

Jesus, women. Am I right? Am I left? I am left. Some guy divorced his online wife's avatar in "Maple Story", a Korean virtual world similar (but not really) to "Second Life", and she, in her resulting anger, killed his character.

A 43-year-old Japanese piano teacher's sudden divorce from her online husband in a virtual game world made her so angry that she logged on and killed his digital persona, police said Thursday.

The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married, and killed the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his beloved online avatar was dead.

Guy was so broken up about his dead character he called the police and had the woman arrested.

She was charged with illegal access onto a computer and manipulating electronic data, police said. If convicted, she could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000.

This just goes to show you: people are crazy. Especially women. Can I get an amen? "AMEN!" Thank you, bitter divorcee. Say, this reminds me of a funny ex-wife story -- she's a freaking bitch!

Angry online divorcee 'kills' virtual ex-hubby [msnbc]

Thanks to Heather and Anthony, who do all of their living in the real world.

Oct 23 2008 WTF?: Man 'Dances' With Heavy Machinery

This is some guy dancing with a 5-ton digger, and it's every bit as mecherotic as you'd expect.

'Transports Exceptionnels' is an experiment piece created by French dance group Compagnie Beau Geste. Unlike traditional ballets, this piece doesn't doesn't follow a narrative. Instead, the viewer is encouraged to find their own meaning.

Own meaning? Like what? That twisted f*** is trying to court a ditch digger.

Man and machine duet [reuters]

Thanks to Craig, who once danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.

Oct 23 2008 eBay: Back To The Future II Jacket Replica

eBay seller bendianamj is selling a jacket he/she made to look like the one in Back To The Future II.

You are bidding on a Back to the Future Marty McFly Jacket from the "Back to the Future Part II" in Men's Size Large but fits like a Medium. It is the same future year 2015 style jacket that Michael J. Fox wore it in his moive (Back to the Future Part II). It is a great costume made by our own registered brand. The jacket is brand new and the condition is great. It is a Every BTTF Fans must have item!!!

They'll make one in any size you want, which leads me to believe that you're not getting an actual auto-fit jacket like the one in the movie. Which you should for freaking $400. And also, free shipping. I don't care if it's coming from Hong Kong, I wouldn't pay $40 to ship myself to the moon.

UPDATE: Okay, I take back the moon thing. But for $40 I better get a whole shit-ton of packing peanuts -- I get hungry on long trips.

Hit the jump for several more pictures, including one from the movie, and a link to the auction.

Continue Reading " eBay: Back To The Future II Jacket Replica "

Oct 23 2008 Learning is Fun!: The Star Wars Alphabet

If you're anything like me, you taught yourself to read off the back of a cereal box you had to use as a pillow (or, alternatively, newspaper sheets). Rough times. But look at me now -- shit, still rough times. Anyway, this is some cute Star Wars alphabet art. As you can see, A is for Ackbar. I went through the whole set and picked out a couple of my favorites, which you can see after the jump. No, which you WILL see after the jump. Going through them all took upwards of twenty clicks, and I'll be damned if I clicked in vain. Repent, dear reader, repent! But seriously, who do l pay to get my sins absolved?

Hit it for two more and a link to the worthwhile gallery.

Continue Reading " Learning is Fun!: The Star Wars Alphabet "

Oct 23 2008 Maybe Someday: A Lamborghini Garage

I've never felt poorer in my entire life.

Youtube

Thanks to Andrew, who, along with robot apocalypse tipster Nolan, is taking turns kicking me in the nuts today.

Oct 23 2008 Great, Just Great: We're All As Good As Dead

Well folks, it's been nice knowing you, but the end is nigh. The Pentagon recently put out a request to contractors to build a "Multi-Robot Pursuit System" to "search for and detect a non-cooperative human." Hoooooly shit.

"What we have here are the beginnings of something designed to enable robots to hunt down humans like a pack of dogs. Once the software is perfected we can reasonably anticipate that they will become autonomous and become armed.

We can also expect such systems to be equipped with human detection and tracking devices including sensors which detect human breath and the radio waves associated with a human heart beat. These are technologies already developed."

Wow, just wow. And you thought I was half kidding about the robot apocalypse thing, didn't you? Well I wasn't. I was whole not kidding. We're f***ed. I mean, this is just awful. Imagine: packs of armed BigDogs and LittleDogs hunting "non-cooperative" humans. Run for the hills! And also, a couple of you slow runners distract the beasts with some blatantly uncooperative behavior.

Packs of robots will hunt down uncooperative humans [newscientist]

Thanks Nolan, I've never been more depressed in my life.

Oct 23 2008 Cool!: The World's Smallest Writing

Japanese scientists have written the world's smallest letters using only a handful of atoms.

a research team at Osaka University has "written" the letters "Si" using an atomic pen that interchanges silicon and tin atoms, enabling those who have the time, resources, and patience to manipulate said atoms one by one. The results are a diminutive 2 x 2 nm (or 40,000 times smaller than a strand of hair) which took about an hour and a half to complete.

That's impressive and all, but I once had an Asian lady write my whole name on a grain of rice at the mall. Suck on that one, scientists!

Atomic pen achieves invisible victory [engadget]

Thanks to mkaggie, who can actually write with individual electrons.

Oct 23 2008 Halloween Ideas: Sexy Star Wars Costumes

Here's a little gallery of sexy Star Wars costumes to get you excited about handing out candy to undeserving teenagers who didn't even bother dressing up. Ha, you're probably just gonna leave a bowl with a "please take one" note aren't you? Well let me tell you something -- the first kid that sees it is taking it all. Bowl too. And, if it's shitty candy, shatter the bowl on your porch.

Hit the jump for several more.

Continue Reading " Halloween Ideas: Sexy Star Wars Costumes "

Oct 22 2008 New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista

These are the two new Mac ads (other one after the jump) that take a direct stab at Microsoft's recent commercial endeavors and Vista. Now I hate to call this a mud slinging campaign, but that certainly seems to be what it is. Which, I think we can all agree, harkens back to the age old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg?

A: It was a cock! Trust me, I'm an evolutionary bioscientologist.

Hit the jump for the other one.

Continue Reading " New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista "

Oct 22 2008 Man Builds Lamborghini Countach In Basement, Has To Dig It Out When Complete

Ten years ago Ken Imhoff started building a Lamborghini Countach in his basement.

A little history on the car. 100% hand crafted Countach out of aluminum and a space tube frame. All aluminum body formed on a wooden buck using an English wheel. My own design space frame with Corvette hubs and custom A-arms. Mated to a ZF-25 5 speed. S.S. 180 degree headers GT40 design "bundle of snakes" Boss 351 bored stroked to 377 515hp 48 IDA Webbers. One off TransAm BBS rim shells to my own center section wheels. Custom brake package to fit 16" wheels. Fuel cell, twin aluminum sprint car (Howe) radiators. All aluminum interior with leather dash, Momo seats and 5 point harness, on board halon fire bottle. quick release steering wheel. Low to the ground at 2700 lbs. 100% body correct by using a real Countach to measure from. Over 10 years in the making.

And now, it's complete. The only problem is, Ken's basement has no outside access. So what do he do? Simple -- made some. He actually hired a contractor to dig down to basement level, destroy a basement wall, and pull the car out. Awesome! I guess I should have thought about that before I started building my rocketship.

UPDATE: F*** it, I'm blasting that mother straight through the roof.

Hit it for a bunch of build pics, and a couple showing how they got the car out.

Continue Reading " Man Builds Lamborghini Countach In Basement, Has To Dig It Out When Complete "

Oct 22 2008 Russian Suspended 'Boob' Ceiling

Apparently suspended ceilings are popular in Russia because upstairs neighbors have a penchant for getting drunk and leaving the bathtub running all night.

In Russia suspended ceiling is not only a stylish element of the flat interior, it can simply save your dwelling from flood made by the careless neighbors living above. Like in this case the practice shows that it is able to gather and hold all the water. Now the question is how to pour it off safely. But just imagine you wake up one morning and your ceilings look like this!

If I woke up one morning and my ceiling looked like that I'd think, "damn, I got a sexy f***in' ceiling." And then, if nobody was around, I might do some light to moderate fondling. Just kidding, I don't care who sees.

Hit the jump for several more shots, including one that shows why you wouldn't want to suckle these things (the last one).

Continue Reading " Russian Suspended 'Boob' Ceiling "

Oct 22 2008 Lookin' Good!: Hand Made Gamer Jewelry

Alright, some more gaming jewelry, woo! All handmade by Etsy seller The Clay Collection, all this gaming-related jewelry promises to satisfy even the most demanding gamer's tastes. They've got everything from XBox controller earrings to NES cartridge cufflinks to everything else you could imagine. I just put the Zelda cuffLinks (!) up because they're my favorite. And as my 5th grade math teacher told us in class one day, "there's nothing wrong with a little Zelda on your shirt. Or my mustache -- HIYO!" He's not allowed to teach anymore.

Hit the jump for a couple more of my favorites, including a non-gaming related Tom Servo and Crow.

Continue Reading " Lookin' Good!: Hand Made Gamer Jewelry "

Oct 22 2008 Stormtrooper Is Bengals Fan, Loves Losing

Not to be outdone by the Master Chief and Optimus Prime Saints fan comes this Cincinnati Bengals (0-7) stormtrooper. As you can see, he's really rocking out with his orange, Darth Vader loving penis out. Good for him. And, to his credit, this picture was actually taken last year when the team was 4-7. Which, in four more games, they might be this season too! Or, you know, 0-11.

Bengal Trooper [sportsillustrated]

Thanks to Pablo, who doesn't wear costumes to sporting events.

Oct 22 2008 Coffee May Shrink Breasts, Prevent Cancer

In a recent study by Sweden's Lund University, researcher found that about half of the women participating had a gene that links breast size and coffee consumption.

Healthy, premenopausal women with the gene who drink three or more cups of coffee a day have smaller breasts. Those women also have a lower risk of breast cancer.

I'm all for cancer-free breasts, so if coffee (and smaller breasts) is the way to go, so be it. I like all breasts equally anyways. Ha, except for yours, Superficial Writer. Yeah, solid B's, now stop rubbing them on my monitor.

Coffee Can Shrink Breasts, Study Finds [aolnews]

Thanks to Dan, who is now boycotting Starbucks.

Oct 21 2008 Sweet!: Custom Intramural Zombie Hunter T's

Hunt zombies? Want to get started? Well what better way than with a custom Intramural Zombie Hunter t-shirt from Seibei. Each $24 shirt comes with a custom (your choice) name and number on the back and option of none, some, more, or lots of hand-applied gore. The shirt makes a perfect Halloween costume, but is definitely acceptable for everyday wear. Then, when you're caught braining some poor bastard in the road for jaywalking, you can just play it off to the woman that saw you. "Read the freaking shirt, it says right here Intramural Zombie Hunter, I think I know a zombie when I see one. Ha, so it is a vintage Led Zeppelin concert tee. Zombie shirt must be in the wa....HOLY SHIT, WHAT'S THAT?! *THWACK* *THWACK TWACK* *poke*

NOTE: Oh, almost forgot: still in New Orleans, having trouble leaving (read: don't want to). Going to see the Rebirth Brass Band tonight at the Maple Leaf. Come down if you're in the area.

Product Site

Oct 21 2008 Frightening Little Gnome Still Gnoming Strong In Argentina

Remember the gnome/leprechaun that was terrorizing Argentina? Well, he's still around, and, apparently, still looking for his gold.

The teens - who recorded footage of the freaky being on their mobile phone - said they are now "too terrified" to go out at night.

Experts who examined the latest footage, taken in the town of Clodomira, province of Santiago del Estero, Argentina, last week, say it is 'credible'.

But sceptics say the sidestepping 'gnome' could be a speedy child or even a small animal.

Haha, no. What in the hell would a child on speed or a dog want with with a pot of gold? Exactly, nothing. "WHO ELSE SEE THE LEPRECHAUN SAY YEEEAAAH!"

'Creepy gnome' back on prowl [thesun]

Thanks again to Julian, who, for two tips in one day receives a free lap dance. Ladies?

Oct 21 2008 Bacon Tuxedo Looks, Smells Just Like Bacon

I know what you're thinking, "What IS that dapper ass-sockpuppet wearing in the picture?" And that, dear reader, is Uncle Oinker's Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. The suits comes in four different sizes (from this little piggy to wild hog), cost $100, and have been chemically treated to smell like bacon sizzling in the pan. And give you cancer. Which, I think we all can agree, is a small price to smell delicious.

Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo [newsblaze]

Thanks to Julian, who once owned a chicken suit but couldn't keep the women away from his meat.

Oct 21 2008 Literal Translation Of A Freestyle Rap Battle

Well we've seen a couple literally translated music videos in recent history, and now comes a rap battle, carefully translated by a well-spoken honkey. I love the part about having sexual relations with the other guy's biological mother (around 2:00) -- rappers really do that shit, it's true. And then, at the end of the video, they actually start fighting because the one dude is all up on his tippytoes trying to kiss the other one. I didn't get that part.

Hit the jump to see the very NSFW (due to language) original video.

Continue Reading " Literal Translation Of A Freestyle Rap Battle "

Oct 21 2008 Website Makes Notifying Sexual Partners About Possible STD Exposure Quick, Easy, And Painless (Minus The Burning)

Does it hurt when you pee? Look down. Did the toilet lid fall on your penis? If so, disregard. But if not, get tested. And then use the inSPOT website to notify all your past sexual partners you may have given them something. Originally developed for gay and bisexual men, the site can be used by anybody to let their recent partners know they may have have been exposed to disease. I'm sending them instead of Christmas cards this year! Oh, hold on, incoming.

UPDATE: Great, just great. Now my penis is gonna fall off.

inSPOT

Thanks to Kelly, who urges Geekologie readers to wrap it up twice and still rubberband a Funyun bag on for good measure. Remember: you never can be too safe. Or onion-y.

Oct 21 2008 Steampunk Cell Phone May Look Good, But Works Horribly

This steampunk cell phone looks pretty freaking sweet. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Made out of wood, brass, and ass, the faux phone looks like it came right out of the 19th century and requires a unique punch-card to dial a number (if it actually worked). The unit would go perfect with this nonfunctional bluetooth headset. Then you can pretend to make old timey prank calls all day long. I dare say good sir, you haveth just been steampunk'd!

Hit it for a couple more, including one of a guy with a brass-cut.

Continue Reading " Steampunk Cell Phone May Look Good, But Works Horribly "

Oct 21 2008 PS3's Little Big Planet Delayed For Song

If you haven't already heard, Little Big Planet, the much anticipated PS3 game about strangely erotic sock puppets, has been pushed back a week. Why? Because one of the songs in the game features two verses from the Qur'an.

The music in question is "Tapha Niang" a song performed by Malian musician Toumani Diabate, Sony said.

"One of the background music tracks that was licensed from a record label for use in the game contains two expressions that can be found in the Qur'an," the company said in a statement. "We have taken immediate action to rectify this and we sincerely apologize for any offense this may have caused."

Sony, maybe you should have done your research before stuffing offensive songs into your video games, you stupid idiots. Haha, no, I'm not just saying that because you didn't use the track I sent you. Although you should have, that shit was solid gold! At least brass. Brassy. Tin. Solid tin.

Sony delays videogame over offensive music [yahoonews]

Thanks to JoShmoe, whose balls have been mistaken for little big planets. True story.

Oct 20 2008 Explorers Find Alleged Yeti Footprint

On the left, a human footprint, and on the right, an alleged Yeti footprint. And possibly a turd. Japanese explorers stumbled across the print on an expedition in the Himalayas to track down the elusive beast.

The large hairy creature resembling a human or bear is said to live in the regions of Nepal and Tibet. While the scientific community largely regards the creature as folklore, given the lack of evidence, reports of the yeti go back hundreds of years.

Yoshiteru Takahashi, the leader of the Yeti Project Nepal, made the discovery leading his Japanese team's third attempt at tracking down the half-man-half-ape.

Half-man, half-ape, huh? Somebody's developing a new crush!

"Yeti" Footprints Discovered, Japanese Explorers Claim [huffingtonpost]

Oct 20 2008 Company Allegedly Manufacturing $98 Laptop

Chinese company HiVision claims to be manufacturing a $98 laptop. What do you get for two dollars less than a hundred?

The specs are admittedly minimal: an ancient 400MHz CPU, 64MB or 128MB of RAM, a 7-inch LCD, and a 1GB flash drive for storage. Wi-Fi is built-in, and the machine runs either Linux or Windows CE (now there's a blast from the past). It's a stretch to call a WinCE device a "laptop," but the Linux version that these guys took extensive video of at a trade show earlier this month looks decently capable. Almost like a real computer.

Wow, "almost like a real computer". I've had pen and paper with better specs. ZOMG I just drew the interwebs! And also, a heart with your name in it. We should go steady.

$98 laptop claimed for October [yahootech]

Thanks to bangdango, who astutely observed that the laptop probably has AIDS.

Oct 20 2008 Hank The Comedic Robot (Should Die)

Hank is a little animatronic comedian built by Ford which runs a comedy act at the State Fair in Texas. I guess you could call him a robot, but I'm pretty sure (SPOILER ALERT: don't read if you still believe the tooth fairy is an actual fairy and not a goblin that touches you while you're sleeping) Hank just stands there waving his arms around while somebody does all his speaking for him from a hidden location. There, I ruined it. The gig is up Hank, you'll never work in this town again.

UPDATE: Now he's a Walmart greeter. I hit him with my cart!

Hank the robot has State Fair auto show crowds laughing, wondering [dallasnews]

Thanks to Ken, who promised to run into him a few times with one of those complimentary Hoverounds first chance he gets.

Oct 20 2008 'Tis The Season (For Geeky Pumpkins)

Well folks, it's that time of the year again. Time to break out the costume and hit the bars looking for a chick that wants to have sex with a ninja turtle. Surprisingly there aren't very many. But what better way to get into the spirit of Halloween than some geeky pumpkinry? I can't think of any. Although, truthfully, I can barely think at all. I drank my weight in gin and tonic this weekend, and I hate gin. I may be a masochist, I dunno. Quick, somebody ball me!

Hit the jump for the rest of the gallery, which includes more Star Wars and Mario action than you could smash a pumpkin at. Oh shit, and a Transformer.

Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season (For Geeky Pumpkins) "

Oct 20 2008 Pouf-Man Chairs: Pac-Man's Bastard Brother

Design house QAYOT designed these Pouf-Man chairs. And I use "designed" loosely, since they're obviously freaking Pac-Man. Available in red, white, black and brown, the chairs are sure to liven up your rumpus rooom with a little video gamey flair. No word on price though, and the company makes no guarantee Pouf-Man won't munch the carpet.

Hit it for a few more of different seating possibilities.

Continue Reading " Pouf-Man Chairs: Pac-Man's Bastard Brother "

Oct 20 2008 My Turn, My Turn!: McCain's In Game Ads

Remember last week's Obama in-game ads? Well now it's McKillaCain's turn, and he's gone with a different approach. Namely using old games instead of modern ones. Like Obama's, the ads were professionally photoshopped by Paul Tassi, and are a throwback to a simpler time. A time when gas was cheap, video games were basic, and I had no idea what my penis was for. I think it's a coffee stirrer.

Hit the jump for a bunch more.

Continue Reading " My Turn, My Turn!: McCain's In Game Ads "

Oct 20 2008 Hover Scooter Is Wicked Freaking Uncool

Haha, so I haven't left New Orleans. And you know what? I might not. One of the awesomest parts of being king of the interweb is being able to work from any seedy, gin-soaked, smoke-filled bar with Wi-Fi that you want. So I'm at a coffee shop. And I want this freaking hover-scooter. Sold by Hammacher Schlemmer, the piece of monkey shit costs $17,000, and, apparently, should only be ridden with a safety helmet. Oh, and acting like you're humping the handle.

Hailed by The New York Times as a "miniature flying saucer with handlebars, the hover scooter provides an unprecedented experience in personal transportation, levitating inches above the ground and speeding a single rider across level land on a cushion of air. Gentle lift from an engine-powered fan elevates the scooter off the ground, and a stream of air exiting a vent in the back provides light forward thrust.

Light forward thrust, huh? As opposed to some heavy backwards stabbing? Which, incidentally, I may or may not have experienced in the quarter last night. They're not all chicks!

Product Page

Thanks to Jeff, who made me swear I'd buy him one for posting this. But guess what Jeff? I'm a lying asshole!

Oct 17 2008 Cosplay Friday!: Street Fighter's Chun Li

Ah, cosplay. I love it. And furplay, that's cool too. I think. So anyway, Francesca Dani is trying to give Jenni Källberg (aka the love of my life) a run for her cosplay money. And here she is as Chun-Li from Street Fighter. Looking good! Oh man, this reminds me -- remember when Street Fighter II came out for home consoles and you could do Chun Li's Spinning Bird Kick (the one where she spins around upside down like a helicopter) and pause the game to see her underwear? Yeah, I never did that either.

Hit the jump for a few more and a link to Francesca's cosplay page.

Alright folks, I'm off to New Orleans, wish me luck. And boobs. I'll see you all bright and early Monday morning, with bells on and puke in my shoes.

Continue Reading " Cosplay Friday!: Street Fighter's Chun Li "

Oct 17 2008 Zombie Tools: Weaponry For The Apocalypse

Zombie Tools sells accessories for the apocalypse. Namely swords. They currently have three models available: the Two-Handed Apocalax, Urban Bone Machete, Mark II, and the Two-Faced Bitch (I know one!). They run $375, $250, and $350, respectively. Oh shit, and they also sell novelty t-shirts. Because, lets face it, you can freaking forget about surviving the apocalypse without a catchy t-shirt.

Hit the jump to see the blades.

Continue Reading " Zombie Tools: Weaponry For The Apocalypse "

Oct 17 2008 Another Literal Music Video: Head Over Heels

This is another literal music video from the same guy that brought us A-Ha's Take On Me. Except now it's Tears For Fears and Head Over Heels. Jesus, music videos were freaking weird in the 80's. Thankfully we've gotten over that. Or have we? I don't know, I don't watch MTV anymore. Because I don't have cable. Or a TV. Or electricity. Or wat -- holy shit, I live in my car.

Youtube

Thanks to RyanThePerson and Kokopure, both of whom have an open invitation to sleep in the trunk any time they want.

Oct 17 2008 Modular Plastic Vroom Vroom: A LEGO Ferrari

Apparently LEGO made a Ferrari to promote LEGO World in Holland. Per the google-y translated article:

The Lego tends to be quite creative in their communication. Since the adhesive ground up operations in buildings. To promote the event Lego World in Holland was no different. The presenter of children's programs Leon Krijgsman parade through the streets of Amsterdam with a Ferrari made of Lego.

The "toy" in actual size was mounted with 80 thousand pieces, celebrates the anniversary of the famous brand of toys and will be exposed in the event which runs from 16 to 23 this month.

That made no sense but who cares, it's a LEGO Ferrari with 80,000 pieces. Wow. But the question remains: does it run? Ha, of course it does, it's built out of freaking LEGO.

Hit the jump for two more.

Continue Reading " Modular Plastic Vroom Vroom: A LEGO Ferrari "

Oct 17 2008 Crown 7 'Hydro' Smokeless Cigarette

Well Crown 7 is at it again, this time with a new smokeless cigarette, the Hydro ($80). What's so hydro about it eludes me, but it has something to do with water vapor. Anyway, like their other models, the device delivers nicotine but no smoke or carcinogens and is sadly not a bong. But you can "smoke" it anywhere. Like in the boy's room. Or, alternatively, the girl's room. But not your parent's room -- they might be doing it! I'm still passing though, because I only smoke pole. HAHA! But seriously, does that make me gay?

Product Site

Oct 16 2008 Guy Plays The Final Countdown On KazooKeylele, Surprisingly Doesn't Suck Ass

A KazooKeylele is a kazoo, baby keyboard, and ukulele. And this is a guy playing Europe's The Final Countdown on one. I was pretty impressed. And, as was evident by the tagging in the video, we can go see him live this weekend.

to see this in action live im going to be busking sat 18th, at 3.00pm, on the royal mile, outside st giles, in Edinburgh. please come along.

Ha, for a second there I thought that said please come alone. Which, sadly, is the story of my life. Ladies?

Youtube

Thanks to Cheffrey, who plays a violipianoboe on the street corner for tips.

Oct 16 2008 Magnet Case Keeps Your iPod Stuck To You, And Also, This Is How You Sell Products

The iStik is a $27 iPod case that has neodymium magnets on its two parts so you can stick it to your bikini or running shorts (one magnetic piece goes on the inside, case goes on the outside). Pretty clever. And also, based purely on the above imagery, I just bought a dozen --and I don't even own an iPod! Now that's how you sell products. Advertisers take note: when in doubt, T&A. A letter, a symbol, and another letter to live by.

Hit the jump for another product shot.

Continue Reading " Magnet Case Keeps Your iPod Stuck To You, And Also, This Is How You Sell Products "

Oct 16 2008 Apparently Optimus Is A Saints Fan Too

What's up with all my heroes being New Orleans Saints fans? First Master Chief, and now Optimus Prime. You'd think at least one of them would root for the Redskins or Steelers. But noooo, they're all New Orleans fans. Maybe it's Mardi Gras. Granted, loving boobs is a hero prerequisite.

On a side note, I really am gonna be in New Orleans this weekend, so let's meet up and wrestle some f***in' gators! Or, I dunno, something else.*

*I'm thinking boobs.

Saints' Fans' Signs of the Times [blogofneworleans]

Thanks to Alejandro, who may or may not live in New Orleans, but if he does, better let me puke on his shoes this weekend. Now transform and onside kick out!

Oct 16 2008 Three Teens Playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles In NYC Sewers Get Lost, Rescued

Three teenagers (15, 16, and 17) were playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the New York City sewer system when they got separated from Master Splinter and ended up lost.

"These three idiots were playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and wanted to go into the sewers," said one police source. "They were never in danger, just goofing off and being stupid."

Never in danger my ass. I've been in those sewers before, I know. Lots of scary shit down there. One time I found a body and poked it with a stick. Wait a minute -- what the hell are a bunch of kids above the age of 15 doing playing Ninja Turtles anyways? Aren't they a little old for that? Trick question! You're never too old to play TNMT. I call Leonardo!

Three found, busted after getting lost in sewer [nydailynews]

Thanks Matt, you can be Raphael.

Oct 16 2008 The Future Is Now, And Not What I Expected: Walking Powered Shoe Chargers

I hate walking. That's why I run. Or Hoveround (screw you Rascal!). But for those of you that don't mind, how about making the most out of your two legged transportation. NTT has developed a shoe that promises to charge your gadgetry while on the go.

Their soles are filled with water, displaced as the wearer walks and forced through a tiny turbine. Current prototypes generate 1.2 watts of electricity, enough to power your iPod as you strut, but by the time these things hit production in 2010 the hope is to more than double that to 3 watts so that you can charge up your mobile, too.

Sure, why not. But I'd still prefer to see the breast-powered charger instead. Literally, I want to see it in action. And, I dunno, maybe some light touching.

NTT says one of these days these boots are gonna charge your gadgets [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who's currently out on the the hunt for the best damn burrito in NYC.

Oct 16 2008 New And Improved (But Still Creepy As Hell): Face Bank Is 4X Larger Than Original, Noisier

Face Banks are creepy as hell and I can't imagine why anybody would want one. Yet, they sell. It truly is a f***ed up world we live in. Anyway, the Mega Face Bank is four times the size of the original, and now makes burping sounds when it's NOMing your coinage. They ship in November for about $53, and I may just have to stick my penis in one.

Product Site

Oct 16 2008 I'll Never Be Cold Again!: A LEGO Radiator

Allegedly this is a real radiator called the Brick, designed by architect Marco Baxadonne and manufactured by Scirocco. No word on price, but I think we can all agree that money is no object when it comes to a LEGO radiator. Unless it's more than $60, in which case, f*** it, I'm going with DUPLO.

Brick LEGO radiator keeps nerds warm [slipperybrick]

Thanks to idid yamum, who, wait a minute!

Oct 16 2008 Master Chief Loves Football, New Orleans

This is a New Orleans Saints Master Chief during week 6 of the NFL. Who knew Master Chief was such a diehard fan? Not I. Did you? And if you did, why didn't you tell me earlier? I like watching football, I like drinking beer. The chief and I could have been BFFs by now. Instead, he won't even return my texts. Love you, call me!

NFL Fans [sportsillustrated]

Thanks to Ted, who understands the importance of watching live sporting events in costume.

Oct 15 2008 FAKE!: In-Game Obama Political Ads

Apparently the Obama party actually did pay for in-game advertising in Burnout Paradise for the Xbox 360. But now, skilled Photoshopper Paul Tassi has gone and made eight more (FAKE) in-game Obama advertisements. That's GTA there, but hit the jump for some Portal, WoW, Gran Turismo, CoD, and MGS action. They were all very well done. But come election day, remember: regardless of who you vote for, they'll suck ass as president compared to me. I am the L337 presidentiary!

Hit it for the rest.

Continue Reading " FAKE!: In-Game Obama Political Ads "

Oct 15 2008 Lesson: How To Haggle Succesfully On eBay

Wow, I don't even know what to say -- except I'll give you 10 minutes with my sister for free shipping.

eBay Pimps [claireadventures]

Thanks to Claire, who's trying to convince me gadgety is a word. Seriously, do I look like I just fell of the banana boat? Haha, no, that's not one in my pocket. Oh wait, yes it is. Damnit, gadgety is a word.

Oct 15 2008 Old As Hell!: G.I. Joe Pork Chop Sandwiches

Video, due to language, is probably NSFW.

This video is older than the interweb itself. In fact, it was first depicted on a cave wall, drawn there by a caveman who smeared his penis in the ashes left from a fire started when lightning hit a dry tree. True story. Anyway, for those of you who haven't seen it, this is a redubbing of one of the public service announcements played after a G.I. Joe cartoon ("and knowing is half the battle!"). There's a bunch more if you like it, but this is the best one. So, with that said, let the OLDing begin!*

*By typing OLD in the comments, you forfeit your right to ever have sex again.**
**Expect in prison, against your will.

Youtube

Oct 15 2008 Thanks Volkswagen!: Palin/Obama Lovechild

I've been getting flooded with political tips lately, and will post some of the other, more technology oriented ones in the next few days, but this a picture of Sarah Palin/Barack Obama's lovechild as created using Volkswagen's RoutanBabymaker3000 (f*** those commercials, seriously). You just upload two pictures of the parents, and presto, a kid is formed. Is this what a Palin/Obama lovechild would really look like? You be the judge. And, since we're playing court, I'll be the bailiff. I get to hold the bible! PEW PEW!

RoutanBabymaker3000

Thanks Tim, I tried making one with me and a dinosaur, but it didn't work. Racists!

Oct 15 2008 Virgin Shark Produced Shark Kitten

A female blacktip shark at the Virginia Aquarium & Marione Science Center recently passed away, and, upon necropsy, was discovered to be with shark puppy -- despite no male sharks being present for 8 years!

Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild. The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.

Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.

Proof positive that when a woman wants to get pregnant -- no matter how often you dunk your balls in hot coffee -- she's gonna do it.

Scientists confirm shark's 'virgin birth' [msnbc]

Thanks to Heather and Abe, who both claim there was a dinosaur in Jurassic park that did the same thing. But they're wrong -- it was me!

Oct 15 2008 More Brains!: A Zombie Pinup Calendar

My Zombie Pinup ($20) is a 2009 calendar that features scantily clad, brain-eating zombie ladies. I want one. It'd look great hanging in the garage next to my toolbox. Because I'm a man, damnit. A man that loves undead women. And power tools. But seriously, should I get a mauve or periwinkle duvet for the bed in the guest room? I don't want it to clash with the window treatments.

Hit the jump for a few more of the pictures, and a link to the buy site.

Continue Reading " More Brains!: A Zombie Pinup Calendar "

Oct 15 2008 Fun For All No Ages: Donkey Kong Jenga

Remember Jenga, the hilarious party game that always ends with some drunk chick hiding a few of the blocks in her thingamajig? Me neither! But now there's a Donkey Kong version apparently.

Build your Donkey Kong themed Jenga tower the traditional way or climb the girders with your Mario mover and save Pauline from Donkey Kong in a new and even more challenging way to play.

The new set costs $25 and is coming soon. And speaking of which, The Geekologie Writer is heading out on a U.S. tour soon, and may be coming to your city! And if he does, guess what? He's sleeping on your floor!

Product Page

Thanks to martygras9, who's got me all thinking about boobs again.

Oct 15 2008 Another Day, Another Flying Car

Another day, another flying car. Although the good people over at Terrafugia aren't actually calling it a flying car. They're calling it a "roadable aircraft" because they're a bunch of asshats. Anyway, it's a flying freaking car.

The vehicle, set to go on sale next year, will cruise smoothly on the road and through the sky. It will have four wheels, Formula One-style suspension, and a pair of 10-foot-wide wings that fold up when it switches from air to asphalt.

The Transition will run on gas, have a flight range of 460 miles, and is expected to sell at right around $194,000. Tests are still being completed, and the first Transition will take to the skies in November, with customers that put deposits down seeing their vehicles in late 2009. And, for those of us that didn't put deposits down, we can expect to hear about the first crash around the same time.

Continue Reading " Another Day, Another Flying Car "

Oct 14 2008 No Vroom Vroom?: An Electric Porsche

German Porsche modder RUF Automobile GmbH went and dropped a 204hp electric motor into a 911. It's powered by 96 lithium ion batteries, can hit 60 in less than 7 seconds, tops out at 160 , and has a 180-mile range. All in all, not too shabby. Who'd have thunk it -- an electric Porsche! What's next, electric golf carts? Ha, that'll be the day.

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, including a couple of the battery arrays.

Continue Reading " No Vroom Vroom?: An Electric Porsche "

Oct 14 2008 Army Wants Thought-Sending Helmet Made

A new army grant seeks to develop a helmet that can convey messages simply by thinking them.

Known as synthetic telepathy, the technology is based on reading electrical activity in the brain using an electroencephalograph, or EEG. Similar technology is being marketed as a way to control video games by thought.

"I think that this will eventually become just another way of communicating," said Mike D'Zmura, from the University of California, Irvine and the lead scientist on the project.

"It will take a lot of research, and a lot of time, but there are also a lot of commercial applications, not just military applications," he said.

Interesting, but I feel like there might be too much room for error.

*sending thought messages* Enemies at twelve o'clock. Let's flank them from the left. And 3,2....Jesus, Lieutenant Bridge's ass looks good in that camo. Shit. I'm not gay, I'm not gay!

Helmet to Convey Messages by Thought [discovery]

Thanks to Tracy, who read my mind: boobs. And also, pork chop sandwiches.

Oct 14 2008 Elephants Text Message Rangers To Warn Villages Of Their Impending Doom

Several elephants (including a male named Kimani) in Kenya's Ol Pejeta conservancy have special collars that send text messages to park rangers should they start to venture too close to a village.

The huge bull elephant had a long history of raiding villagers' crops during the harvest, sometimes wiping out six months of income at a time. But this time a mobile phone card inserted in his collar sent rangers a text message. Lesowapir, an armed guard and a driver arrived in a jeep bristling with spotlights to frighten Kimani back into the Ol Pejeta conservancy.

Not a bad idea. The texting comes as a result of having to kill several other elephants as a result of their crop-destroying behaviors. Kimani is the last of a group of six regular raiders, and has already been deterred 15 times by his texting. Now if I could just rig up something similar for my girlfriends when they venture too close to the house unexpected....

UPDATE: F*** it, I'm going with shock collars.

Kenya's elephants send text messages to rangers [yahoonews]

Thanks to Romeo and Jason, who have both put on shock collars and taken turns running across an invisible fence.

Oct 14 2008 I'm A Doctor!: Anatomy Of A LEGO Minifig

Jason Freeny, the man behind the anatomies of a balloon animal and gummi bear, is at it again, this time with a LEGO minifig. Who knew those little plastic bodies were so intricate on the inside? Not me, and I've melted several after dousing them with hairspray. Oh the figmanity!

Moist Production (Jason's official site)

Thanks to Jason, the man behind the magic, for pointing out he purposefully made the minifig's junk bigger than mine.

Oct 14 2008 Condometric Gives It To You Straight (Or Slightly Curved To The Left, Ladies?)

The Condometric is a condom with convenient measurements along the side so your partner can point and laugh and you can feel inadequate.

Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penis' length. Condometric helps us flaunt what we've got. It's about believing we can handle whatever we wish to take on, regardless of size.

Haha, 6 whole inches -- I'm perfectly average! What? Centimeters? Goddamnit.

Condometric [likecool]

Thanks to Lindsey for making me feel like Timmy Tiny Dick.

Oct 14 2008 A-Ha's Take On Me, The Literal Version

Even after 23 years, A-Ha's Take on Me music video remains one of the best ever made. And, in late celebration, somebody went and made a literal translation of it, complete with subtitles. Definitely worth a viewing. I love the "this guy's gonna get an ass full of pipe wrench" at the 2:33 mark. Awesome. I wish I could climb in and out of drawings. Because then I'd, well, draw myself a big-breasted lady friend. Yeah, with no mouth. Wait, need a mouth. Okay, no teeth. Oh shit, or voice box.

Youtube

Thanks to Bill, who claims to have crawled into a comic book and had sex with Catwoman.

Oct 14 2008 Blacker Than Black: The Darkest Material

Researchers have recently made a material so dark it absorbs 99.9% of light, the closest yet to a "pure" black.

The substance has a total reflective index of 0.045 percent -- which is more than three times darker than the nickel-phosphorous alloy that now holds the record as the world's darkest material.

Basic black paint, by comparison, has a reflective index of 5 percent to 10 percent.

Ninjas and emos rejoice!

New material pushes the boundary of blackness [reuters]

Thanks to bob, who wrote the joke so I didn't have to. Check's in the mail!

Oct 14 2008 Oops: Possible Mistake On Walmart's Website

This is a screencap from Walmart's Canadian website for Summer's Eve Feminine Spray Ultra - Extra Strength. As you can see, it's applied with a pressure washer. I actually went to the website and the picture was still there, but there wasn't a description of the product. But, FAKE! or not, I think we can all agree that you'd have to be growing psychedelic mushrooms in your vagina to need this shit.

Uh... [baldheretic]

Thanks to Jenny, The Bloggess, who allegedly knows a woman that has to douche with a firehose.

Oct 13 2008 Guy Plays 36 World Of Warcraft Accounts At The Same Time, Runs Raids By Himself

Gamer Prepared runs 36 accounts of World of Warcraft at the same damn time. Why? Because he can, and it's his God-given Canadian right (I don't actually know where he's from).

A lot have asked me, why create so many? The main reason is to invade Stormwind and Ironforge when they reach top level. I'm sure the Alliance will put up a big fight when that happens. We'll see how it goes. If they don't make level 70 before Wrath of the Lich King, then it will be at level 80. That is my main goal. That will probably happen after I've got some PvP gear from the battlegrounds. I'm also planning to do some 25 and 10 man raid instances but that is secondary to my PvP goal. Of course I'll be doing arenas too to build up PvP gear but I'm not expecting to do that great there because I'm way behind in gear right now. I need to get to level 70 first, then level 80 and by then I will probably have all green gear while most others have been doing the battlegrounds and arenas.

It costs me exactly $5711 in subscription costs per year with 36 accounts on the 6 month pay schedule. Not bad considering I'm looking at it like it's a hobby and there are more expensive hobbies out there than World of Warcraft.

When Wrath of the Lich King is released, I plan to be at the store when it opens and will purchase 36 copies of it. With tax, it should be about $1500 for all of them. Then the shaman are on their way to level 80 along with the priest, druid and mage.

Huh? I have no idea what that means because my girlfriend threatened to punch me in the face with her Jetta if I ever touched World of Warcraft (or another woman). But I do know that $5,711 is more money than I make in two years and this guy spends it on game subscriptions. Making him quite possibly the richest man in the world. In spirit. Rich in spirit.

Hit the jump for another picture of the setup, along with some screen shots.

Oh, and if you're a loyal Geekologist living in the Huntsville, AL area, give me a shout and then take me out and buy me a beer. Whee, I'm cheap! No, but seriously.

Continue Reading " Guy Plays 36 World Of Warcraft Accounts At The Same Time, Runs Raids By Himself "

Oct 13 2008 Not Our Children!: Toy Doll Promotes Islam

A bunch of parents think a Fisher-Price doll is promoting Islam. The doll in question, the Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo Doll is not only poorly named, but spouts religious messages (as alleged by previously mentioned soccer moms). The doll is only supposed to make cooing sounds and say mama, but many retarded parents believe the doll is saying "Islam is the light" and "Satan is King". I'm not making this stuff up folks, people really believe this. And also, that the world is round. You stupid f***ers, you make me laugh!

Fury over doll's 'Islam message' [thesun]
and
Youtube

Thanks to Silver Sided, who once owned a doll that could predict the future.

Oct 13 2008 $43 Japanese Stress-Relieving Milk

Stressed? Love milk? How about a $43 bottle of stress-relieving milk straight from the Lon-Lon Ranch?

Tokyo-based Nakazawa Foods will launch the "Adult Milk" line of products in October targetting "adults who live in a stressful society," the company said in a statement. The milk is taken from cows once a week at the break of dawn, as they discharge a lot of a stress-relieving hormone called melatonin during the night, the company said. It is said to contain three to four times as much melatonin as usual milk.

Mmm, stress-relieving milk. But $43? No way. So here's what you do: go to a strip club, a really seedy one. Oh, and one that stays open till 5am (when melatonin production is at its peak). Then pay one of strippers that just gave birth $2 for a taste. And, if it's legit, offer her a five-spot to fill up an empty beer bottle.

Japanese can now buy stress-relief milk -- for 43 dollars per bottle [akihabaranews]

Thanks to Karina, who agrees you should be allowed to suck straight from the teat for $1.

Oct 13 2008 Sony Unveils Ultra-Thin 40" LCD Television

The Sony Bravia ZX1 is not only 9.9mm thin, but "40% more efficient per panel inch compared to conventional flat panel technology" and allegedly uses less power than a light bulb. I'm not sure what kind of lightbulb, but probably not the 5-watt nightlight in the bathroom I use to prevent pissing on the floor. You know, I was just thinking the other day, "self, this LCD flat panel just isn't thin enough -- I really need something in the 9-10mm range." Thanks Sony, I'll take a 40". $6,055? No prob....wait, problem. Huge freaking problem.

Hit the jump for a video of the mother.

Continue Reading " Sony Unveils Ultra-Thin 40" LCD Television "

Oct 13 2008 Robot Trickery: Trying To Write Like People

Scientists are running tests in Berkshire to determine if robots can "think" well enough to trick humans into believing they're humans themselves.

Scientists at the University of Reading tested five machines to see if they could pass themselves off as humans in text-based conversations with people.

The test was devised in 1950 by British Mathematician Alan Turing, who said that if a machine was indistinguishable from a human, then it was "thinking".

One robot, Elbot, came close on Sunday by reaching 5% below the pass mark.

No robot has ever passed the Turing Test, which requires the robot to fool 30% of its human interrogators.

Wow, people can actually communicate with a robot and think it's a human? That's freaking pathetic. And on a side note, who the hell is this MovieFone character on my AIM buddy list and how is he always available? He must never sleep!

Test explores if robots can think [bbcnews] (with video)

Thanks to Mike, Wayne, and Uncle Ecolli, who all agree that not only are robots stupid, but they make horrible sexual partners.

Oct 13 2008 Yes, Please!: More Slow Motion Pain

I love slow motion videos. Especially ones in which people are getting punched. And here comes another! It's a music video for Spanish rock-soul singer Bunbury for the song Hay Muy Poca Gente. And not only is there punching, but there's shit being broken over people's heads and all kinds of good stuff. Definitely worth a watch. Maybe not a Rolex, but at least a Seiko.

Note: I posted the same video in high quality after the jump, just for the halibut.

Continue Reading " Yes, Please!: More Slow Motion Pain "

Oct 13 2008 Strip Club Features Drive-Thru Service

Apparently there's a strip club in Pennsylvania that offers drive-thru service.

The Climax "Gentleman's Club" operates in Delmont, Pennsylvania, on Route 22 35 miles east of Pittsburgh. In April of this year, Climax unveiled a new innovation, which is most likely a first in the country: drive-thru strippers. Motorists can now pay $5 a minute to view strippers from the comfort of the front seat of their own car. Most customers end up with a tab of about $10-$15, but already one person paid $100 for a mere 20 minutes.

$100? Jesus, that's like four lap dances. And I've got the feeling that's not an option in the drive through. Although it certainly should be. Oh -- oh God, I'll never look at that gearshift the same.

drive-thru strippers [everything2]

Thanks to chip, who pioneered drive-thru casinos.

Oct 13 2008 $60,000 His And Her LEGO Sculptures

Got $60,000 lying around? Looking for a way to blow it in the most ridiculous way possible? How about life-sized his and her LEGO sculptures from famed LEGO artist Nathan Sawaya?

Send in detailed photos and measurements, then Nathan gets to snapping and BOOM! One-of-a-kind, life-size sculptures of yourselves in LEGO bricks. We priced our exclusive gift individually, so Nathan can "brickalize" you and the S.O., the kids, Granny and/or anyone else you obsess about. (Just make sure you have the rights to their likenesses; we're not here to judge.)

Word on the street is that for an extra $10,000 Nathan will even throw in a pet. Which, for $10K, better be a freaking dinosaur. A real one.

Hit the jump for one more full-body picture.

Continue Reading " $60,000 His And Her LEGO Sculptures "

Oct 10 2008 Put The Vintage PEW PEW Back In Your Life With A Steampunk Ray-Blunderbuss

Weta Collectibles is releasing a limited edition of 50 of this steampunk rifle, Lord Cockswain's "Unnatural Selector" A Ray-Blunderbuss from Dr. Grordbort. What do you get for your $4,500 - $7,900 (depending on what edition number you want)?

• 100% designed and crafted at multi Academy Award winning Weta Workshop in New Zealand
• Built from metal, glass and rare Venusian Worm Oak (imitation wood....which under Earth conditions is surprisingly similar to resin)
• The breech block will be engraved with your name and individual edition number.
• Articulated triggers, levers and switches
• Custom built stand - suitable for displaying on your mantelpiece, or hanging on the wall

"I say, old bean, I slappeth thee with mine glove, prepare to duel!"
"Very well then, PEW PEW, good sir, PEW PEW."

Product Site

Thanks to Bimbol, who once had sex with a German beer maid. And what does that have to do with a steampunk rifle? Everything.

Oct 10 2008 Sure, Why Not?: A Giant Guitar Boat

Like the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough build a giant freaking guitar boat and cruise around in that mother like PUT PUT PUT". Am I right? I'm wrong. Anyway, this is Indie rocker Josh Pyke taking a fully functional guitar boat for a spin in the music video for his song "Make You Happy". I tried to find the video and couldn't, but apparently the dude's got some musical skills. But no boating ones. He crashed into a dock and spilled a ton of notes. You know, notes -- like musical notes. Because it's a guitar. Fine, somebody come AIDS me in the face, I deserve it.

Giant guitar is a seaworthy motorboat [dvice]

Oct 10 2008 Added To X-Mas List: Kota The Triceratops

Kota the Triceratops is a robot toy for children that "has 11 different movements and reacts to touch and sound." The 37-pound behemoth can even support a child rider up to 60-pounds. Unfortunately, the dino doesn't actually walk, so you'll still have to get your children to fetch your beer the old fashioned way, on a tricycle. Suggested retail price is between $300-$400, but I'm willing to pay upwards of $500 if it could, you know, do a little *wink wink* blogging. That's right, I want it to write for me.

nr9onnvipom; fwjpwe vw;5nt9 9vfrk;l lebtv;;g,oo]twtm3wij2 34ipomjhm b5yp9vm v rewk;lm

Keep it up, you're doing great!

Hit the jump for a video of Kota inaction.

Continue Reading " Added To X-Mas List: Kota The Triceratops "

Oct 10 2008 Is It Too Late?: I'm Running For President!

I'm running for president. Click here to watch the amazing story of my rise to political prominence. Then go here to make the video with your own name. Or any other name. And it doesn't censor anything, so you can put whatever you want. At least I think so, but truthfully, I only tried Dick Dribblins.

2008 Election Coverage [tsgnet]

Thanks to Ryan and Hilda, who, with their votes combined, netted me a single vote -- Ryan ate his ballot.

Oct 10 2008 The I-Foot: Toyota's New Mobility Suit

I don't really have any more information on this robotic suit except the i-foot is a terrible name, it was made by Toyota, and appears to be the lovechild of a MechWarrior that stuck it to a Tyrannasaurus Rex (wish I could have been there). Oh, and two thumbs up on the choreography, Toyota, I love the theater. Okay, strip clubs.

Toyota Mobility Suit [useloos]

Thanks to Tytus, who, in his quest to build a mobility suit, invented the jetpack.

Oct 10 2008 Revenge CD Annoys Neighbors, Yourself

The Revenge CD from Fred is a CD packed with 20 of the most annoying sounds ever, from unhappy dog, to violin practice, to house party. The $7 CD even comes with a pair of earplugs, so you don't have to listen to the racket. Clever, but I can't help but think there are better ways of seeking revenge on neighbors. Including, but not limited to: breaking a basement window and leaving a hose running into it while they're on vacation, vandalism, and my personal favorites: kidnapping and arson. But seriously, rake up your leaves already, you're making our block look like shit.

Product Page

Thanks to Silver Sided, who believes living well is the best revenge, which is total bullshit. Burning a house down, that's where it's at.

Oct 10 2008 10-Year Old Tennessee Boy Enlisted To Drive Drunks Home, Flips Van At 90MPH

A 10-year old's driving services were requested by 43-year old Randy Lewis (that's actually him in the picture, he was really wearing that shirt) and Paula Elaine Evans because they were too drunk to drive themselves. Other passengers included another 10-year old and a 6-year old. However, the driver lost control of the van at 90MPH and flipped it, before it finally came to stop on its roof. Thankfully, the children were released from the hospital later with only minor injuries (the adults could have died for all I care).

When the authorities arrived on the scene, Lewis admitted to having consumed at least 15 beers as well as some alcohol while Miss Evans pounded down as many unidentified pills as she could before police arrested her.

Wow, making a 10-year old drive you home because you're wasted? That's just sad. I think we can all agree here that designated drivers should at least be 11½. You know, so they can reach the pedals.

Ten-Year-Old Drives Drunks Home, Rolls Van At 90 MPH [jalopnik]

Thanks to biggestpenisintheworld, who, based on the picture he sent, may actually be.

Oct 10 2008 Star Wars: A New (Cardboard) Hope

This is fan-made video of Star Wars: A New Hope made entirely out of cardboard, a hubcap, and fifteen minutes. Truthfully, it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, but that's only because I walked in on an orgy in the craft room of Silver Pines Retirement Home.

Youtube

Thanks to Abraham, who once tried to recreate Jurassic Park out of cardboard but I kept stealing his dinosaurs.

Oct 9 2008 Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining

Apparently Human Vs. Zombie Tag (HvZ) is a growing trend on college campuses.

An HvZ game typically involves hundreds of students and runs 24 hours a day for days on end; dwindling numbers of humans try to fend off and outlast growing legions of zombies.

The rules are fundamentally simple: Zombie tags human, human becomes a zombie. Unlike movie zombies, with shambling walks and undead makeup, zombies in the game just wear headbands to distinguish them from armband-wearing humans. And they are free to sprint.

If you're a human, you can "stun" zombies for 15 minutes by hitting them with a Nerf gun or balled up sock (preferably stuffed with pennies). I dunno about all that, but, for the sake of unbiased reporting, I suppose I'll have to play before passing judgment.

UPDATE: I bit some bitch's arm off! Good times!

Hit the jump for a video of a game that actually made me feel embarrassed for the guy talking.

Continue Reading " Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining "

Oct 9 2008 Cool!: Sound Chasers Make Music

Sound Chasers are little cars that ride on strips of vinyl records that have been cut and connected together to form a track, playing the music as they cruise along. Awesome idea, but they sound like a cacophony. Going a step further and actually making a track that produces a good beat would be have been nice. But like most things in life, you don't always get the nice. Sometimes you get the ugly. Like last night. Thankfully I realized what I was doing on the ride home and pulled a 'duck and roll' out the passenger side door. In hindsight, I probably should have told her to take the wheel and used my own door, but seriously, fight or flight. I flew. Straight into a fire hydrant. Now it hurts to breathe.

Tiny Chaser in my Hand [yankodesign]

Thanks to Karina, who, for two tips in one day, gets a free Whopper coupon.

Oct 9 2008 Used Condoms Reborn As Hair/Rubber Bands

Soiled condoms *HORF* are being recycled into hair bands and rubber bands in China.

"There are a lot of bacteria and viruses on the rubber bands and hair ties made from used condoms," a dermatologist at the Guangzhou Hospital of Armed Police, who asked to be identified by his surname Dong, told the local paper. "People could be infected with AIDS, warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns."

*HORF* Jesus. But on the upside, a bag of 10 hair bands only costs 3¢. Which, I think we can all agree is worth the risk of contracting something.

Report: Used condoms 'recycled' as hair bands in China [usatoday]

Thanks to Skip, who may or may not have been the guy that ratted me out for blowing up used condoms at my last clown gig.

Oct 9 2008 Uh-Oh, I Think We're Sinking: Titanic Ice

A couple of days ago it was ice bullets and today, ice boats. The Titanic to be precise. Gin & Titonic ($7.49) by Fred are little boat and iceberg shaped ice molds meant to resemble the Titanic. Buy several sets to play drinking Battleship!

Product Page

Thanks to Karina, who I'd risk drowning in a sea of gin to save any day.

Oct 9 2008 German Artist To Smoke Kurt Cobain's Ashes

German artist Natascha Stellmach has allegedly acquired Kurt Cobain's ashes after they were stolen from Courtney Love's home, where she had been keeping them in a pink teddy bear.

The artist is keeping mum about how exactly she came to be in possession of the remains. She tells Artworld magazine, "That's confidential and kind of magic. They came to me. And I am setting him free."

In a statement announcing her find, Berlin-based Stellmach has detailed her plans to smoke the ashes as part of the forthcoming Set Me Free exhibition at the city's Wagner + Partner gallery on October 11th.

Wow, can you really get high smoking someone's ashes?

UPDATE: Not my grandma's!

German Artist To 'Smoke' Kurt Cobain's Ashes [mtv]

Thanks to Sean, who only smokes asses. If that's cool. If not, then something else.

Oct 9 2008 Questionable: Disappearing Pool Table

Somebody went and built an elevator for their pool table so they can use the space it would normally take up when not in use. It had to have cost a fortune, probably even more than building an addition on the house. Which is what I would have done. Or, I dunno, gone to the bar.

Youtube

Thanks to Ian, who racks and cracks with equal dexterity.

Oct 8 2008 Prevent Drunk Emailing: Google Mail Goggles

Google recently unveiled a Gmail application that may help prevent drunk emailing. When in use, the program requires a potential emailer to solve a few mathematical problems before the message can be sent. Pretty clever, now make something similar for cell phones and we'll be set. Or you can just subscribe to The Geekologie Writer's method of drunk messaging prevention -- dropping your phone in the pisser when you're trying to text. I touched a urinal cake with my finger!

Google's Mail Goggles Prevents Drunk Emailing [wired]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer and DJ LIBOR, who both probably regret sending this tip.

Oct 8 2008 Star Wars Hoodies Are Out Of This Universe!

Ecko has a new line of hoodies out with a Star Wars theme. As you can see, the Stormtrooper and Boba Fett models are the awesome. Minus the $100 price tag. But still, I'll take one if it, you know, fell of the back of a truck. I'm winking at you right now. Make that happen. Fine, I'll actually pay. I'm gonna get the Stormtrooper one, and I'm gonna rock that shit all zipped down with the mask and all. I'll let you know how laid I get.

UPDATE: I got hit by a taxi. My Force was malfunctioning, and also, I think he ran a red.

Thanks to Britany, Vince, and P05TMAN, who all look just as good naked as in wicked Star Wars hoodies. Trust me, I've seen pictures.

Oct 8 2008 It's A Surprise!: Wario-Land Promo Video

This is a promo video for Wario-Land. Except, technically, it's not an actual video, it's just a screen capture. You have to hit this link to watch the video. It's a surprise. And speaking of which, did I tell you my friends threw a surprise party for my last birthday? It was awesome, I walked into my apartment and -- SURPRISE! -- they all freaking forgot the most important day of the year.

Youtube

Thanks to Josh, Kyle, and Mark, who know the only good surprise is an accidental nipple slip.

Oct 8 2008 The Shower Power: No More Slipping And Breaking Your (Most Precious) Bone

The Shower Power is a powerful suction cup with two handles. It was designed to provide a safehold while you're having sex in the shower. Or in the car. Or on the side of a building. I couldn't find out how much it costs but it can't be much. And seriously, can you really put a price on personal safety anyways? Yes, about $8. Or, if you want to live dangerously, you can do what I do and have sex while swinging from the shower head. But remember: if you're not doing the Tarzan yell you're totally ruining the experience.

Hit the jump for the product packaging which explains how to use the device in graphic silhouettey detail.

Continue Reading " The Shower Power: No More Slipping And Breaking Your (Most Precious) Bone "

Oct 8 2008 I Lost His Arm: Detachable Parts Zombie Doll

The Dismember-Me Plush Zombie from ThinkGeek ($15) is a cuddly little zombie with detachable parts. You can rip his arms, legs and head off, and his brain even comes out. To eat! However, the toy is not for children.

Choking Hazard - Small Parts. Not suitable for Children under 3 years. This is an Adult toy.

Haha, no, this is not an adult toy -- adult toys require batteries and lube. Also, a willing partner. Ladies?

Hit the jump for one more picture and a video of the undead bastards.

Continue Reading " I Lost His Arm: Detachable Parts Zombie Doll "

Oct 8 2008 Wait, What?: A Monkey Waiter

I don't have much more information on this except apparently there's some Asian restaurant with a monkey waiter that brings your food and drinks. If that's not freaking crazy, I don't know what is. Just look at his cute little -- BASTARD JUST THREW A TURD AT ME!

Youtube

Thanks to Bryan, who owns a restaurant with a dinosaur server that accused me of grabbing its ass. I did!

Oct 8 2008 Mmmm, Delicious Mother Board Cakage

It's been a while since we've seen some scrumptious cakeologie here on Geekologie, but the wait is over! And as a man who's no stranger to eating computer components, I find this mother board cake utterly delicious looking. I mean, just look at those RAM wafers! You haven't lived until you've left a little memory in the back of your pants.

Hit the jump for one more mother cake.

Continue Reading " Mmmm, Delicious Mother Board Cakage "

Oct 7 2008 AT-AT Fail: Because Sometimes Standing Up Is Just Too Damn Hard

Oh man, that's one of my favorite scenes from the movie. The snow, the AT-ATs, all the little ships flying around PEWing their brains out. And then the trip-up. This AT-AT Fail shirt costs $20.80 and comes in a variety of colors. Collect them all! Just kidding. Buy one! Or don't. I don't freaking care, I didn't make them.

On a side note, if there aren't any more posts today it's because I'm moving and am on the road....south! Goodbye wife and hello buxom southern belles guns and rednecks! WOHOO, come visit! See you bright and early tomorrow morning.

Product Site

Thanks to Serene, who once tripped an AT-AT simply by willing it.

Oct 7 2008 Make Your Own Ice Bullets For Killer Cocktails

Can you believe that title? I'm a freaking idiot, true story. But I do like these ice cubes. The Bullet Ice Cube Tray makes ice cube rounds that look like AK-47 bullets and costs $13.25. Unfortunately, you have to add your own gunpowder if you want to fire them. But, as an added bonus, the bullets will melt before the police arrive. The perfect murder? MWAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

Hit the jump for a look at the trays.

Continue Reading " Make Your Own Ice Bullets For Killer Cocktails "

Oct 7 2008 FAKE!: Alleged Smart Car Body Kits

Well folks, it looks like today is Smart Car day on Geekologie. This here is an alleged Smart Car with a Porsche body kit. Hit the jump to see Corvette, Ferrari, and Lamborghini models. Needless to say, they're all fake and been Photoshopped. FAKE! FRIST! FIRSTIES! SECOND? THIRD YOU STINKING ASSHOLES!

Hit it for the rest.

Continue Reading " FAKE!: Alleged Smart Car Body Kits "

Oct 7 2008 Virgin Galactic Refuses Money For Space Porn

Virgin Galactic recently refused $1 million from an undisclosed company to make a space porn aboard the SpaceShipTwo.

The cash was slapped on the table "up-front, for a sex-in-space movie", said the company's prez, Will Whitehorn, According to Space.com. He confirmed: "That was money we had to refuse, I'm afraid."

Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer [theregister]

Thanks to Pat, who's up to his eyeballs in alien vagina.

Oct 7 2008 Wait, What?: A Smart Car Monster Truck

Somebody modded a Smart Car into a monster truck because, well, that's what people do. You come up with a really bad idea after a long night of drinking, and the next day you make your inebriated dream a reality. Trust me, it's the human condition.

Youtube

Thanks to Tim, who has drawn up plans for a Big Wheels monster truck.

Oct 6 2008 Dead Celebrities Made Out Of Fonts

This is a picture of Marilyn Monroe made entirely out of different fonts for an ad in a São Paulo newspaper. Check out three more of Charlie Chaplan, Marlon Brando, and James Dean after the jump, all of which look great. But still, prosthetic U leg and all, Marilyn is the best. I swear, I would hit that like a piñata -- with a Wiffleball bat.

Jump for the rest.

Continue Reading " Dead Celebrities Made Out Of Fonts "

Oct 6 2008 USB Light Up 'You've Got Mail' Indicator

This is a little $17 USB gadget that lights up whenever you receive new email. It can turn green, blue, or red to indicate which account the mail is from and looks like a little envelope. Neat. Oh, it's blinking! Oh boy, oh boy!

Date: Mon, 06 Oct 2008 07:04:33 +0000
From: "ives abdulkaf" [email protected]
Subject: Upsize your hotdog into a french loaf
To: [email protected]

Top 10 sellers for organic pharmacology today

Hell yeah French loaf, I'm starving!

USB webmail notifier lights up your life when you've got mail [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who receives his email the old fashioned way, by horse.

Oct 6 2008 Now That's What I Call Good American Politics Volume 18: The American Titty Committee

Now boobs are an issue I can get behind. And by get behind I mean mush my face in between.

Official Website

Thanks to Jason, who knows that breasts are our nation's most valuable resource.

Oct 6 2008 Passengers Worried X-Ray Security Shots Will Wind Up On Facebook And Myspace

Passengers are worried that pictures from a new x-ray security camera, the "virtual strip search", will end up online and display their privates for the whole social networking world to see.

Readers feel the new security measure has gone too far.

"Sure as heck, some customs officers will make snide remarks about young girls with breast implants and people with piercings in private locations. You betcha some will appear on Facebook or MySpace," said a post on news.com.au

However, authorities insist there's nothing to worry about.

"Faces are blurred and images are not saved and cannot be transferred," said Office of Transport Security executive director Paul Retter.

Oh yeah, because I'm dying to see some fuzzy monochromatic images of a chick's privates on Facebook. Wait....I think I am. Sweet!

Passengers fear airport "virtual strip search" [news.com.au]

Oct 6 2008 Tallest Lego Tower Record Already Beaten

Sometimes victory is fleeting. You have to realize that you can't have the tallest LEGO tower forever, and that some jerks from Vienna are probably gonna trump you within months of the feat. And that's exactly what happened. Hundreds of children helped construct the tower to celebrate the 100 Years of Friends of Children (WTF?) festival. And you know what? The kids didn't even have the common courtesy to blow the other tower out of the water. Nope, they just made theirs 7" taller, for a height of 96.72 feet. You see, that's the matter with kids these days, they're freaking lazy. If they're not playing video games, they're just barely beating world records. Seriously, somebody should build one to the damn moon already. Imagine -- a LEGO tower six miles high!

Lego Tower Record Broken [uberreview]

Thanks to Delphine, who's gonna help me start construction ASAP.

Oct 6 2008 Awh, How Cute!: Baby Car Logos

This is a baby-fied Lamborghini emblem. As you can see, instead of a raging bull, there's just a wee little guy. How precious. Hit the jump to see Ferrari, Maserati, and Jaguar, they're all very well done. Unlike my breakfast burger, which was raw. I'm an animal -- I eat raw meat! Like giraffes. CAW CAW!

Hit it for the rest.

Continue Reading " Awh, How Cute!: Baby Car Logos "

Oct 6 2008 Mega Man 3 Song, In Extended Remix Form!

Remember the Mega Man 3 song we posted a few weeks ago? Well now Brentalfloss (the man responsible) has made an extended remix. This is it, and the new content starts halfway through. It has some bad words in it though, so it may be NSFW, but it's definitely SFACSF (safe for a college sausage fest).

Youtube

Thanks to Brentalfloss, the man behind the curtain.

Oct 5 2008 Artists Make (Functional) Giant Trippy iPod

Russian artists Aristarkh Chernyshev and Alexei Shulgin made this giant trippy iPod. It's fully functional, including the giant earbuds. Why? you ask, why not? the artists reply. Ha, right, because it's freaking stupid. Jesus, it hurts to look at.

This is your iPod on drugs, any questions? [tuaw]

Thanks to Sev, who used to own a giant Walkman.

Oct 3 2008 3-D Force Field May Make Touching Princess Leia In (And Out Of) Her Metal Bikini A Reality

Researchers at the University of Tokyo have developed the Airborne Ultrasound Tactile Display, a 3-D interactive force field that may make touching Princess Leia's golden boobies a reality.

This tactile display enables tactile feedback superimposed over 3D graphics projected in free space, which provides more intuitive handling of 3D "touchable" graphics. For example, users could touch Princess Leia projected in the air.

ZOMG!

The Airborne Ultrasound Tactile Display uses multiple ultrasound transducers to project waves into the air. Without gloves or attachments, and without risk of penetration in the body, the device takes advantage of a nonlinear ultrasound phenomena called acoustic radiation pressure. This allows for the creation of spatial shapes of acoustic ultrasound radiation pressure, which is what gives you the sensation of touching Princess Leia's breasts for real, even feeling the nature of the material

And you thought I was kidding, didn't you? I was not! And also, I demand a demo. A private demo. With mood lighting and aromatic candles.

3D Force Field Opens Door for Holodeck, Virtual Touchable Leia [gizmodo]

Thanks to Sean and Michael, who both claim to have been intimate with Princess Leia in her younger (but still totally legal) years.

Oct 3 2008 The Peri Peri: Get That 'Tearing Open A Fed-Ex Envelope' Feeling Whenever You Want

Made by Bandi, the same company that brought us the electronic bubblewrap popper, comes the Peri Peri ($10), a noisemaker that "recreates the sound and feel of tearing open the paper 'zipper' on a FedEx/UPS/DHL envelope". Because, Jesus, that shit is so fun. Too bad I've got a plethora of the real thing. Take this one for instance *riiiiiiiip* a separation agreement, freaking awesome!

BANDAI Peri Peri Keychain Recreates The Sounds And Thrills Of Tearing Open A FedEx Envelope [ohgizmo]

Oct 3 2008 Buns And Guns Is A Real Freaking Restaurant

Buns and Guns is an actual freaking restaurant in Beirut and I would totally eat there.

At the "Buns and Guns" fast food restaurant, deep in Beirut's Hezbollah-dominated southern suburbs, the chefs wear military helmets, the food is wrapped in camouflage paper, and the motto is "a sandwich can kill you."

The glossy camouflaged menus feature burgers with names like "the mortar" and "the 155 mm howitzer," while grilled chicken sandwiches can be a "magnum" or a "rocket-propelled grenade."

Lebanon's most common and popular weapon, the AK-47 Klashnikov assault rifle, is a beef steak sandwich served in long baguette-style bread.

Oh man, I love a good beef steak sandwich, I'm gonna have to go try one. I'll get it with extra hot peppers too, really blow my o-ring sky high.

Hit the jump for a ton more pictures of the restaurant.

Continue Reading " Buns And Guns Is A Real Freaking Restaurant "

Oct 3 2008 Ironing Man T-Shirt Turns Hero Into Mr. Mom

This Ironing Man t-shirt ($19) turns a beloved superhero into a beloved, well, ironer, ironing his own pants. Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter how super you may be, wrinkled pants are still totally unacceptable.

Ironing Man T-Shirt, Even Superheroes Love the Feel of Freshly Pressed Pants [uberreview]

Oct 3 2008 Gamer Grub: Because WoW Can't Wait

Gamer Grubs are meal replacement snacks specially designed with the sedentary gamer in mind.

In flavors like Action Pizza, Racing Wasabi, Strategy Chocolate and Sports PB&J, the snacks are not only fortified with vitamins and minerals, but are specially engineered to be crumb and grease free, protecting your keyboard from its normal all-it-can-eat junk food buffet.

Mmmm, they sound yummy, don't they? No, no they freaking don't. Call me old fashioned, but what the hell's the matter with the classic Mountain Dew/Cheetos combination? Nothing, that's what. Seriously, who cares if your penis turns orange?

Gamer Grub: Because 'Food' Takes Too Long to Chew [gizmodo]

Oct 3 2008 Burton Releases Series Of Sexy Snowboards

Burton Snowboard's new Love series was made in cooperation with Playboy and feature busty centerfold pictures. Because let's face it, what could be cooler than cruising down the mountain on a booby-covered board? Ha, no, not dead hookerboarding, although....

Burton Love Series Snowboards [highsnobiety]

Thanks to Jo Mama, who knows I love the rich, chocolatey taste of Ovaltine.

Oct 3 2008 No Thanks: A Human Powered Ferris Wheel

I don't have much more information on this ferris wheel except that it appears to be human powered, doesn't look that fun to ride, and is definitely dangerous to operate. And while I'm on the subject, I think the carny operating the moon-bounce stole my freaking shoes. But I did make out with the bearded man pretending to be a woman.

Youtube

Thanks to Roberto, who could operate a man-powered Tilt-A-Whirl by himself.

Oct 3 2008 Magic Hat Makes You Smarter, Look Stupid

This thinking cap promises to make its wearer smarter. How?

Using a magnetic coil to send juice to portions of the left side of the brain, researchers claim that they can turn anyone into a savant, improving memory and creativity by incredible amounts.

Being a skeptic, I went ahead and rigged up my own cap on their design. I made it out of aluminum foil, a bunch of refrigerator magnets, and a car battery. Here goes nothing!

UPDATE: I smell toast.

'Thinking Cap' turns you into a genius [dvice]

Oct 2 2008 Um, Coooool: A Big Cat Motorcycle

This is a motorcycle made by artist/engineer Lee J Rowland. It has a 1,200cc Buell 97 S3 Thunderbolt engine, and custom air intakes and exhaust to match the fiberglass cat body. It's currently for sale, but being able to cruise down the road looking like you're banging a jungle cat comes at a cost -- $567,000.

Hit the jump for several more of the beast.

Continue Reading " Um, Coooool: A Big Cat Motorcycle "

Oct 2 2008 UV Ray Bikini Helps Keep You Cancer Free

The SmartSwim UV Intensity Bikini ($99) has little purple beads right between the tits (and other, more boring places) to let you know how intense the UV rays are. Light purple good, dark purple, cancer. I suppose if you don't want to shell out 99 bones you could buy any bikini and add your own beads, but that would be cheating. And cheating, my friends, wins games.

SmartSwim UV Intensity Bikini warns against excessive exposure [dvice]

Oct 2 2008 Bad Idea: X-Ray Messages For Your Luggage

Evan Roth designed these custom etched metal plates to show up on X-ray machines when your luggage is scanned at the airport. And let me tell you, airport security loooooves a good joke. Like the time I drank a half liter of bourbon waiting for my flight out of Vegas and fell asleep under a chair and missed my flight by four hours. Oh man, they loved that one.

Metal Plate X-Ray Messages - Because Airport Security Officers Have A Great Sense Of Humor [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Heather, who loves being drunk in the airport as much as I do.

Oct 2 2008 Vader And Crony Spotted On Google Maps

Darth Vader and a very special Stormtrooper were recently spotted outside the Mann Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard via Google Maps Street View. Now I hate to start wild speculation on what they went to see, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was a romantic comedy -- and quite possibly My Best Friend's Girl.

LOL: Darth Vader Spotted on Google Maps Street View [slashfilm]

Thanks to ray, who claims Vader tried to pull the old penis in the popcorn trick.

Oct 2 2008 Aaaaaaah!: Scary Ass Robot Girl

This is a robot girl named Repliee R-1. She's an android built by Osaka University and based on an actual 5-year old girl. And I think I speak for everyone when I say they chose their model pretty freaking poorly.

Liveleak

Thanks to Firuz, Tytus, Jake, and Justin, who all agree the only good robot is -- wait, there are no good robots.

Oct 2 2008 $4,700 Sink Has Built In Aquarium

Let's face it, fish are awesome. And delicious. Well now you can pee in the sink and watch the scrumptious little buggers swim in circles at the same time. This sink makes a perfect compliment to the aquarium shitter, and all for only $4,700. It's like a dream come true, minus the dream, plus $4,700.

Moody Aquarium Sink makes for moody fish [slipperybrick]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who once ate ten dozen fish sticks in a single sitting.

Oct 2 2008 Cool!: New Phone Can See Through Walls

Apparently software developers are working on a cell phone application that can "see" through walls.

The 'Real Space See-through Mobile' software comes from KDDI's R&D laboratory and Tokyo University and is - you'll not be surprised to learn - still just a prototype.

Although we weren't able to see it in action, we can tell you that it is supposed to be able to judge its surroundings, including those on the other side of a wall, using six different sensors. Three acceleration sensors combine with a similar number of geomagnetic sensors and a GPS chip to work out exactly where the phone is and in what direction it's pointing.

Using some sort of digital voodoo, the software then uses OpenGL to draw on the screen what it has 'sensed' is in the immediate surroundings.

Awesome, locker room spy shots without having to disguise myself as a water fountain!

Bizarre phone lets users see through walls [techradar]

Thanks to Jesus, who's a friend of mine.

Oct 2 2008 Teenager Throws Kickass Party

This kid is the textbook definition of douchenozzle.

Youtube

Thanks to Tyler, the real party legend.

Oct 1 2008 eBay: Castle Crashing With Your Own Ballista

Some crazy mothers in the United Kingdom are selling a full-size Roman ballista on eBay.

Yes, this is for real. We are selling a full-size Roman siege catapult (or ballista), which we believe to be the only one of its kind (for at least 2000 years).

The catapult was recreated by a team of experts, following all known records, as accurately as possible - and then successfully fired. It was created for the BBC, for a programme called Building the Impossible, in 2002. It was built by the timber-frame team at Carpenter Oak & Woodland.

The ballista weighs approx 12 tons so postage or even buyer collection is not an option. Fully built, it is approx 7.5 metres tall and 8.5 metres long.

Originally, this cost over £120,000 to build - so we are only looking for serious bidders.

The bidding starts at £25,000 ($44,500) and I'm totally gonna buy it and lay siege to the neighbor's house. That'll teach the lazy asshole a thing or two about keeping his lawn mowed. PEW!

Hit the jump for a video of the beast in action and a link to the auction.

Continue Reading " eBay: Castle Crashing With Your Own Ballista "

Oct 1 2008 Apple Threatens To Close iTunes Store

Apple is threatening to close the iTunes store over a possible royalty hike.

The National Music Publishers' Association, which represents the interests of music makers and songwriters in the U.S., wants rates to be increased 9 cents to 15 cents, which represents a 66 percent rise.

"If [iTunes] was forced to absorb any increase in the ... royalty rate, the result would be to significantly increase the likelihood of the store operating at a financial loss -- which is no alternative at all," iTunes vice president Eddy Cue said.

ZOMG, I'm gonna have to start downloading music illegally again.

Apple Threatens to Close iTunes Store Over Royalties [foxnews]

Thanks to Bryan, who once downloaded a song illegally but then felt bad about it and gave a streetcorner musician a dollar.

Oct 1 2008 New Wii Allegedly Dropping In 2011

The rumor mill is turning, and apparently there are hushed whispers in the darkened corners of a seedy bar about the next generation Wii hitting the streets in 2011.

The upcoming console, tentatively referred to as the "Wii HD," is said to be based on entirely new hardware that will pump out HD visuals, contain expanded storage and run using digitally distributed content rather than physical discs, which is something widely rumored for all of the next-gen consoles.

Cool, but what about the rumor that it'll be able to read a player's thoughts? Yeah, the one I just made up. You read it here first!

Next-gen HD Wii rumored to be slated for 2011 [dvice]

Oct 1 2008 Flatshare Refrigerator Keeps Your No Good Thieving Roommates Out Of Your Food

Not really, it just separates everyone's food so it doesn't get mixed up. The Flatshare is a finalist in the Electrolux Design Lab 2008 competition and is the brainchild of Austrian design student Stefan Buchberger, who has obviously had it up to here with getting his freaking Eggos stolen. The unit consists of a base on which you can stack four separate refrigerator/freezer modules. Neat concept, but pretty worthless in real-world application. This won't stop a roommate from stealing your cold cuts, trust me. But you know what will? Poison. Haha, I poured rat killer in the OJ. I think it worked too, because I haven't heard a peep from the loud bastard in a few hours. I'll go check on him just as soon as I finish this screwdrive....oh Jesus -- quick, somebody call poison cont

Flatshare Fridge Separates Your Roommate's Rotten Food From Yours [gizmodo]

Thanks to Sophia, who agrees it's a sin punishable by pissing on their clean clothes pile to steal a roommate's last pudding pack.

Oct 1 2008 Sarah Palin Look-Alike Needed For Adult Film

This is a craigslist posting in Los Angeles looking for a Sarah Palin look-alike to be in a porno. As you can see, no anal is required. So there goes our hope of Sarah Impalin' That Alasska.

Hit the jump for a NSWF portrait of a nude Sarah Palin that looks like it was painted by a 4th grader.

Continue Reading " Sarah Palin Look-Alike Needed For Adult Film "

Oct 1 2008 Geekologie Reader Makes Dilophosaurus

Loyal Geekologist Dinosaur Josh went and made a Dilophosaurus mount based on the one from Jurassic Park.

Up for auction is a full size replica of the Dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park. This version has it's frill out and mouth open in attack position. It measures 21 inches from the nose to base of the neck. The frill measures 29" in width and 24" high. It is made of high quality poly urethane resin that has been painted and sealed. The dinosaur is mounted to a wooden base. It can be hung on a wall to like a trophy animal with a mount located on the base.

Great job! Bidding starts at $100 and can I borrow it for a night before the auction ends?

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and link to the auction.

Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader Makes Dilophosaurus "

Oct 1 2008 USB Ferris Wheel Ferrises When You Type!

The USB Key-controlled Ferris Wheel is a little USB peripheral that spins around whenever you're typing and sends a couple cute little animals on a happy fun slide. Thanks to the marvel of modern technology, it can sense when you've stopped typing, and ceases movement. It costs $29 and is guaranteed entertainment for all ages.*

*Ages 5-80 excluded, small parts may pose a choking hazard for the elderly.

Product Site

Oct 1 2008 Protest Robot Does Your Protesting For You

Robovox is an 8 meter tall robot designed by artist Martin Bricelj that receives text messages and then speaks them aloud in his loud robot voice.

Its purpose is to serve as a tool for an individual, who's voice usually gets lost in the sounds of the mass, the society. An individual can send a text message using his mobile phone to the dedicated RoboVox's number. Upon receiving the SMS RoboVox says out loud the statement, the protest, the declaration of love, or whatever the message may read, thus lending its voice to the anonymous individual.

Awesome, I'm all for a good protest, I think I'll give it a go. *texting* "QUICK, SOMEONE BREAK MY FREAKING HEAD OFF BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL."

Hit the jump for a video.

Continue Reading " Protest Robot Does Your Protesting For You "