Sep 30 2008 Woman Celebrates Halloween Early
A Cincinnati woman went out and did it up right by celebrating Halloween early this year.
Police say 32 year old Michelle Allen was chasing children in the 3100 block of Wilbraham, while wearing the cow costume early Monday evening. Allen also reported urinated on a neighbor's front porch. An officer told Allen to go home and stay there for the remainder of the evening.Police were later called to North Verity Avenue, where Allen was allegedly blocking traffic. The arresting officer says Allen smelled of alcohol, slurred her speech, and was belligerent. She also alleged cussed at the officer.
Sounds like a pretty typical Halloween if you ask me.
Woman Wearing Cow Suit Arrested [local12]
Thanks to Eric, who agrees the only way to really pee on a neighbor's porch is in a bear suit.
Sep 30 2008 Umbrella Lets Rain Know Where To Stick It
This F*** The Rain Umbrella is made by Art Lebedev and lets mother nature know where to stick it. It's a real product and will set you back about $55. Although, personally, I like the rain. Like that Garbage song goes, "I'm only happy when it rains, I'm only happy when it's complicated." Okay, that last part was a lie. I hate complicated shit. Like math. Oh, an tyoping without l ookkning.
Hit the jump for an uncensored picture and what it looks like from the rain's point of view.
Continue Reading " Umbrella Lets Rain Know Where To Stick It "
Sep 30 2008 What?: Man Punches Shark To Save Dog
Some guy allegedly punched a shark in the face to save his rat terrier, quite possibly making him the manliest man womanly enough to actually own a rat terrier.
Man punches shark [cnn]
Thanks to Julian, who once punched a shark in the nads for taking a bite of his tuna-salad sandwich.
Sep 30 2008 Guy Makes Pong Watch From Scratch
Some guy went and made a Pong watch. This is it. I don't really know much more about it because the website is in French and I failed remedial French in highschool. Too much time staring at the tits on the chick next to me, not enough time conjugating verbs. Just sayin', I'm not at fault here. Now Spanish -- bunch of fuglies in that class, solid C-.
Hit the jump for a video which includes part of the build, which was pretty damn impressive.
Sep 30 2008 Swedish Twins Play Real Life Frogger, Lose
Two Swedish twins, both female and likely higher than shit on something I'd be afraid to try, played a game of real life Frogger on the M6. They lost. One got hit by a truck and the other by a car. Then another car. Both are injured, but alive, and it's up to me to beat their high scores.
Hit the jump for a video. WARNING: slightly graphic.
Continue Reading " Swedish Twins Play Real Life Frogger, Lose "
Sep 30 2008 My Little Pony Star Wars Characters
We've seen custom ponies in the past, and here comes another batch, heavy on the Star Wars. That's Princess Leia there, and there's a Darth Vader and Stormtrooper after the jump. They were all made by deviantart user Spippo, who sells them if you're interested. And as a guy who grew up playing with My Little Ponies, I must admit: I collected Cabbage Patch Dolls too. And one time I tried on my sister's bra.
Hit the jump for two more, along with a link to Spippo's gallery with even more Batman, Alien, Pan, Superman and Edward Scissorhands pony action.
Sep 30 2008 Watermill Provides Drinkable Water From Air!
The Watermill is a glorified dehumidifier that pulls water from the air and purifies it to drinking quality.
Inside air is up to 70 times more polluted than outside air. The WaterMill is installed unobtrusively on the outside of your home, using outside air, so it won't dry out the air you breathe in your home. And don't worry if your outdoor air is less than pristine - even if you live in a crowded city, the Watermill's filtration system ensures your drinking water will be clean and free of toxins and bacteria - more pure than tap water or even spring water.
The WaterMill provides you with:
* clean, fresh water for drinking and cooking
* up to 12 liters of water per day
* a sustainable, elegant appliance for your home
Sound too good to be true? No, not really. Like I said before, it's just a dehumidifier with an ultraviolet sterilizer attached. Fun fact: ultraviolet sterilization isn't an effective form of long-term birth control. Hello child support!
Thanks to Dan, who's holding out for a BeerMill.
Sep 30 2008 Dorky Self Defense
This is an instructional video about how to defend yourself in the likely event that someone is attacking you because you looked at them funny. I tried a couple of the moves out on a coworker, and I must admit: there was some definite arousal.
Youtube
Thanks to P05TMAN, who'll get your shit delivered even after the Large Hadron Collider destroys the planet.
Sep 29 2008 What A Five-Star Plane Looks Like Inside
The Airbus A380 is a $300 million, 7-story plane that's as long as two blue whales and 260 ft from wingtip to wingtip. And, apparently, it's a flying resort.
The A380 is the ultimate in luxury. It has three decks: the top two for passengers and the lower one available for a medical center, shopping or a fast-food franchise. The aircraft has features like spas, casinos, gyms, bedrooms, and duty-free shops. Some airlines also plan to fix staterooms with beds, showers, a water feature, a double-width staircase between decks, and luxurious, book-lined club-style bars.
Wow, that sounds....like a huge freaking waste.
Hit the jump to see the ridiculousness that is the inside of an A380.
Continue Reading " What A Five-Star Plane Looks Like Inside "
Sep 29 2008 eBay: Needle Felted iPhone For Sale
Geekologie reader Chris went and made a wool iPhone and put it up for sale on eBay to see what sort of reception (!) it would get.
This auction is for a hand made (by me) needle-felted iPhone toy/art. Needle-felting has been a hobby of mine for over a year now and I decided to offer this one of a kind toy I made this week. This wool iPhone measures 4 3/4" X 2 3/4" and 0.5" thick. Made with great quality wool. This "toy" is not intended for children or pets. It is packaged in a bag with a Squid Wool card.
Bidding starts at $25 with $5 shipping. I'm pretty damn tempted to make a bid, but sadly, I've been banned from eBay. Some policy about not selling prescription drugs you found in your roommate's medicine cabinet.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures and a link to the auction.
Sep 29 2008 Mmmm, Good: Wasabi Ginger Lollipops
From Lolliphile, the makers of the Maple-Bacon lollipops, comes their newest flavor -- Wasabi Ginger! I love wasabi. I can eat a whole ball of it. I eat it until I cry. Same goes for ice cream. Oh, and cereal.
Product Page
Sep 29 2008 Fly High With The Cursor Kite!
Fall is here and you know what that means: kite season. I don't actually know if that's true or not, but I'm saying it is. And this is a kite that looks like a cursor. Most importantly, do you see that chick? I'd click it.
Cursor Kite for the geekiest [slipperybrick]
Thanks to high-flying Azghul, who Benjamin Franklin totally stole that key on a kite thing from.
Sep 29 2008 Guy Makes Back To The Future DeLorean
A loyal Geekologist recently took these pictures of a DeLorean that was modded to look like the one from Back To The Future. It appears to be an exact replica if you ask me. I just wonder if the flux capacitor is functional. Because if it is....a nice candlelight dinner, just me, one very lucky dinosaur -- you get the picture.
Hit the jump for a few more and a link to the very worthwhile gallery.
Sep 26 2008 Safe For Work Porn Is Still Highly Questionable
Note: Possibly still NSFW
This is an allegedly safe for work porno video. It's supposedly safe because they've cleverly covered up all the action with cartoons. I dare say I found it more stimulating than the real thing. Especially the pinball scene. RAWR!
Diesel: SFW XXX [creativity-online]
Thanks to Jonathan and Patricio, who, despite the tips, insist they're not perverts.
Sep 26 2008 Sarah Palin Is All Ears In Corn Form!
Wheeler Farms, near Toledo, Ohio, created a Sarah Palin corn maze in a 16-acre field. As you can see, it looks like a pretty shitty maze. Sadly, that didn't stop me from getting lost and circling her lapel for two hours.
A face from ears: Palin is carved into cornfield [boston]
Thanks to Richard, who would look devilishly handsome as a corn maze.
Sep 26 2008 Awesomest Jesus-Themed Song EVER
Not just a friend, but a great drinking buddy. Isn't that right, Big J? Dude, you're puking on my shoes.
Thanks to Walrus, who's totally BFF's with the man upstairs. You know, the creepy one that never leaves his apartment.
Sep 26 2008 Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack
Yves "Fusion Man" Rossey successfully crossed the English Channel with a jetpack today. This is one small pew for man, one giant PEW PEW PEW for mankind.
Rossy, a pilot who normally flies an Airbus airliner, crossed the 22 miles between Calais and Dover at speeds of up to 120 mph in 13 minutes, his spokesman said.
Awesome. And as a guy who has made his girlfriend wear a jetpack during sex, I've got to tell you: don't do it from behind.
Hit the jump for a video.
Continue Reading " Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack "
Sep 26 2008 Sleep Standing Up With The Vertical Bed
Artist Jamie O'Shea's Vertical Bed combines two of my favorite things: sleeping. Standing can go f*** itself, because I hate it. I like lying down.
The Vertical Bed won't save you from poking and prodding, but with sunglasses on, noise-canceling headphones, a neck-pillow for comfort, and an umbrella to keep you dry, that's a pretty good start. The Vertical Bed will keep you upright thanks to hooks attached to the shoes that will lock into subway grates, and braces and concealed harnesses that keep your legs and back supported. It all conveniently folds down into a briefcase.
You know, I tried to sleep standing up once, but when I started to doze I fell over. To my credit though, I was pretty drunk -- on life! Just kidding, it was the shine.
The Vertical Bed: Power nap in the middle of the street [dvice]
Sep 26 2008 Wait, What?: An Underwater Lake
So apparently there are lakes of super-saline water at the bottom of the ocean.
During the Jurassic period the waters here were shallow and became cut off from the ocean. The area soon dried out, leaving a thick layer of salt and other minerals up to 8km thick. When ocean water returned after the region rifted apart, the super-saline layer at the bottom of the Gulf became an underwater lake. Now brine, which is continually released from a rift in the ocean floor, feeds the lake.
Now I know what you're thinking -- there has got to be magic involved. But you're wrong, my friend. This is pure sorcery.
Hit the jump for a longer David Attenborough clip about the lakes.
Sep 26 2008 Wicked Case Mod: Computers As Wall Art
Designer Fredrik Perman decided to jazz up the lobby of his new office with a little custom built computer casage. There are actually six computers in the setup, designed for serious rendering.
The acrylic case doesn't have a top and sides to add some ventilation, and a battery of six, upward-blowing LED-lit fans keep everything cool. That monitor allows access to the render farm from the lobby (though there are several other terminals on the other side of the wall, all linked to the unit by a KVM switch).
Not bad. But you know what would look even better than a computer tacked to the wall? Deez nuts. It would hurt, but it's true.
Hit it for several more.
Sep 26 2008 Metal Gear Solid Rubber Band Gun
Some guy went and made a rubberband shooting replica of Solid Snake's Silver Wolf pistol from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. The weapon was made from cross-drilled stainless steel plates and even has a laser sight and flashlight. I want one -- just imagine the damage you could do with that thing! Upwards of not any.
Hit the jump for a video of the gun in action.
Sep 25 2008 Play The Drums -- On Your Shirt!
That's right folks, ThinkGeek is selling this $30 Drumkit T-shirt so you can rock out with your high-hat out anywhere you go.
Hit the drums on this shirt with your finger and they play through the built in speaker... simple but amazing. With 7 different drum sounds you're ready for a personal drum solo on your chest.
Hell yes, personal drum solo on my chest! Any of you lovely ladies interested in a duet?
Thanks to Brad and Sarah, who don't need drums to know how to rock.
Sep 25 2008 Best iPhone Application EVER
paiTouch, an iPhone application created by Japanese blogger Technohippy, is a virtual breast. You can poke and prod it all you want and it kind of jiggles around. It's actually pretty crappy. You can test it out here, just click and drag the cursor around. I've got to admit: if this is what touching a booby is like, I'm not that excited about it anymore. Now a penis....JK!
Virtual Breasts, Coming to Your iPhone [inventorspot]
Thanks to Phil, who touches enough of the real thing to not need a stupid app.
Sep 25 2008 This Is Where Babies Come From
They just crawl out the end of this thing.
Note: Possibly NSFW depending on your employer's "watching videos of kids crawling out the end of a giant inflatable pecker" policy.
Youtube
Thanks to Romeo and Stephanie, who both agree a giant vagina would have been much more appropriate.
Sep 25 2008 The Last Thing You'll Ever See
Imagine: You're comfortably asleep when suddenly you're startled awake by this creepy bastard leaning over the foot of your bed. What do you do?
A: Bleed, he just stabbed you.
NTUST's humanoid robot walks into your nightmare [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who, for two tips in one day, wins a special prize.
Sep 25 2008 Google Makes Google Timeline For Birthday
To celebrate its 10th birthday, Google went and made themselves a little interactive timeline so interwebbers like ourselves can see the company's progression from no-name to world dominatrix. What does the future hold for Google? How the hell should I know, I'm no fortune teller. But I am a bank teller -- come hold me up!
10th Birthday [google]
Thanks Pi Kappa Phi, I drank all your beer.
Sep 25 2008 Wearable Airbags For The Clumsy, Elderly
Japanese manufacturer Prop is now selling wearable airbags for old folks and people who just can't stand for long.
Its newly announced personal, wearable airbag looks like a cool fanny-pack and weighs a mere 1.1 kilograms (2.4 pounds) -- but springs forth in one-tenth of a second when sensors detect you're headed for the floor, protecting your head and ass with two inflated bags that contain 3.9 gallons of gas each.
Unfortunately, safety comes at a price. And that price is $1,400. Are grandma's delicate bones worth the cost? Hint: Duct tape and pillows.
Wearable airbags keep the elderly from hitting the ground so hard [engadget]
Thanks to Julian and Ross, who both threw themselves down the stairs wearing bubblewrap jackets and lived to tell about it.
Sep 25 2008 Wicked 20-Sided Die Tattoo (Plus Bonus!)
Check it out -- if I jiggle my arm it looks like the die is rolling!
Hit the jump for a blue arm of death tattoo.
Continue Reading " Wicked 20-Sided Die Tattoo (Plus Bonus!) "
Sep 24 2008 OLD!: How To Sell Samurai Swords
Now that's what I call a samurai!
Thanks to Ben, who once kicked Leonardo's ass in a ninja fight.
Sep 24 2008 PETA To Ben And Jerry's: Use Breast Milk
PETA, in their unending quest to make ice cream even more delicious, is urging Ben and Jerry's to start using human breast milk instead of cow milk.
On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's. Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers--and cows--would reap the benefits.
The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.
Well, they do have a point there, the breast is best. But still -- human breast milk ice cream? I dunno....
UPDATE: LEGIT! Two scoops of Mammary Madness please!
The Breast Is Best! PETA Asks Ben & Jerry's to Dump Dairy and Go With Human Milk Instead [PETA]
Thanks to The Superficial Writer, who, despite the tip, is still a major dick.
Sep 24 2008 Yikes!: A Creepy Pinhole Camera Skull
This pinhole camera was made out of a skull by artist Wayne Martin Belger, mwho may or may not dress entirely in black and scrawl pentagrams on the floor of his apartment in virgin's blood.
This work entitled Third Eye, a study of "the beauty of decay," uses precious metals like titanium and silver to expose the memory of time onto film, sheering the 150 year old skull of a 13 year old girl.
Wow, it doesn't get much creepier than that. Well, unless the skull still had a jawbone and said "Say cheese!" Jesus, I just gave myself goosebumps.
Hit the jump to see a scary picture taken with the thing.
Sep 24 2008 Woops: Guy Mishandles Antique
I remember seeing this a while ago, but for those of you who have yet to witness its awesomeness, here it is: some guy showing off his one of a kind antique recording. Warning: he says shit and the host of the show made me punch through my monitor. But still, totally worth a watch.
Old man breaks one of a kind antique [googlevideo]
Thanks to chaosthirteen, who agrees there's just nothing funnier than another person's misfortune.
Sep 24 2008 Wicked LEGO Star Wars Diorama
Flickr user roguebantha_1138 made this wicked LEGO Star Wars diarrhea.
Welcome to Mustaneer! (it's not as distant as Mustafar) Basically it's a Rebel attack on an Imperial base and mining installation. About a year in the making, on and off, it is 75 by 125cm and all built in 1:200 scale. I've taken LOADS of pictures (OK, I've taken too many) but I've tried to write something interesting with each, so if you have a bit of spare time join me on a journey to a galaxy far far away....
Hey, I've got some spare time AND I love journeys. Great selection, got my last pair of kicks there.
Hit it for a few more and a link to the massive gallery.
Sep 24 2008 We're Saved!: LHC Shut Down Temporarily
The Large Hadron Collider won't be doing any colliding until next spring due to a magnet failure that allowed a ton of helium to leak out one of the tunnels.
Cern said the most likely cause of the equipment failure was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. This connection melted during testing of the machine and caused a huge leak of super-cool helium.
We're saved! There will be a Christmas after all! Just kidding, the robots are coming. Let's just say Thanksgiving won't be so thankful this year.
On a side note, your friend the Geekologie Writer is going through a really tough time right now (divorce). Please don't give up on him, he'll be back to rocking the shit out of shit as soon as possible.
Collider halted until next year [bbcnews]
Thanks to Flash, Josh, Daniel, and Dave, who all know the only good collisions happen at the demolition derby.
Sep 23 2008 Thinking Makes You Fat
Thinking makes you fat.
It turns out that performing mental tasks, like trying to solve problems while working at a computer, stimulates the appetite so much that people tend to eat significantly more calories than they burned while performing the "knowledge-based" tasks.
You know what else makes you fat? Blogging. NOM NOM, bitches, NOM NOM!
Does Thinking Make Us Fatter? [abcnews]
Thanks to barney, living proof that being dead sexy makes you skinny.
Sep 23 2008 For Kids!: Plushie Animal Head Mounts
There comes a time in every child's life when they want a unicorn. And now you can get them one thanks to the $80 Plushkill Forest Unicorn mount! If unicorns aren't your kid's thing, don't fret -- they also come in deer, rabbit, moose and pony varieties. Collect them all! Remember, nothing teaches children about the preciousness of life better than a dead animal's head.
Thanks to Britany, who agrees that teaching your children to hunt unicorn at an early age is just as important to their development as regular whippings.
Sep 23 2008 Oak Bar Hides Sweet Video Game Setup
Let's face it, drinking and video games go together like drinking and firearms -- a match made in heaven. So why not build yourself a video game bar? This oak bar hides four joysticks in a fold down panel in the front (picture after jump), which are connected to a PC and the flatpanel on the wall. Not a bad setup, but I'm sticking to my shooting gallery. POW POW POW POW meow POW. Oh shit.
Hit the jump for two more pictures.
Sep 23 2008 Penny Gets First Change(!) In 50 Years
To commemorate the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birth, the U.S. Mint is redesigning the penny and releasing four new designs. That's them in the picture.
The designs show milestones in the life of the 16th president: the Kentucky log cabin of his birth, his youth working as an Indiana rail splitter, his service at the State Capitol in Illinois, and his effort to preserve the union during the Civil War as depicted by a half-finished image of the U.S. Capitol dome.
The first of the coins debuts Feb. 12, with the others following in three-month intervals. The release date, besides being Lincoln's birthday, comes a century after the production of the original Lincoln cent in 1909.
Eh, I would have gone with a more traditional image -- like standing over a dead bear with a plasma rifle, puffing on a stick of dynamite. You know, the classic Lincoln pose.
New Lincoln penny designs unveiled [cnnmoney]
Thanks to Alex, who thought these were the new Lyle Lovett pennies.
Sep 23 2008 Cribs: Geekologie Writer Edition
I guess things got a little out of hand.
Hit the jump for more of the disgustingness, as well as a link to a whole gallery.
Sep 22 2008 I Just Pray To God She's Joking
Mark my words: I'm never, ever, driving again.
The Dumbest Woman On The Highway [break]
Thanks to Calypso, who's seen a tow-truck before.
Sep 22 2008 DIY: Your Own Sweet Laser Tag Setup
Let's face it, no other sport has as high a PEW PEW PEW factor as good old fashioned laser tag. Unfortunately, a quality rig is pretty expensive. So what's a boy to do? Simple, make your own.
This homebrew LaserTag game uses a cheap laser pointer combined with a toy gun and a PIC16F628A microcontroller that connects up to a piezo transducer which is used for producing various beeps. The 5 pin header plug at the bottom of the device is used to connect to a programmer for in-circuit programming.
As cool as this system looks, there's just no way it compares to the feeling you get when braining an opponent with a Mag-lite.
Build your own laser tag system [make]
via
Homemade laser tag makes laser tag that much dorkier [dvice]
Sep 22 2008 I Want A Mirror Background On My Monitor
This is old. And sadly hilarious. I can't believe poor Wekweti can even use a scanner. In case you haven't noticed, it's stupid people day here on Geekologie.
How turn computer monitor into mirror? [yahooanswers]
Thanks Roberto, but it will work if I take a picture, right?
Sep 22 2008 Crazy Rainbow In The Sprinkler Conpiracy
This is a video of a woman who ate a bunch of lead-based paint chips filming a rainbow that appeared in her sprinkler. She's convinced it's a government conspiracy and they're pumping something into our water/oxygen supply to run tests on us. Needless to say, I think she's on to something.
Youtube
Thanks to chaosthirteen and Stevie, who both agree with me when I say where's my tinfoil helmet?
Sep 22 2008 Text Messaging Lowers Your IQ 10 Points
In a recent New York Times article, technology trend forecaster Aul Saffo claims that texting actually makes a person dumber.
The act of texting automatically removes 10 I.Q. points. "The truth of the matter is there are hobbies that are incompatible. You don't want to do mushroom-hunting and bird-watching at the same time, and it is the same with texting and other activities. We have all seen people walk into parking meters or walk into traffic and seem startled by oncoming cars."
whatev, dats a fkng li.
Text messaging lowers your IQ by 10 points [textually]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who swears texting-sex is the wave of the future.
Sep 22 2008 S. Hawking Unveils Scary $1.8 Million Clock
Stephen Hawking recently unveiled this $1.83 million clock at Corpus Christi College, Cambridge. The frightening timepiece took seven years to build and is a tribute to John Harrison, allegedly the world's greatest clockmaker.
The bizarre Corpus Clock visually explains that it relies on grasshopper escapement to function, and to let you know that time can never be regained once lost, that beast on top actually gobbles down time every 60th second. Oh, and every hour, on the hour, the sound of a "chain dropping into a wooden coffin" is played to really pound home the "time is a destroyer" concept.
Wow, creepy. Can you imagine this thing hanging on the wall in your house? I can -- I'm rich as hell!
Hit the jump for a very worthwhile video of the thing in action.
Continue Reading " S. Hawking Unveils Scary $1.8 Million Clock "
Sep 19 2008 Macs Used To Help Make New Microsoft Ad
Uh-oh. It's been discovered that some of the images used in Microsoft's new 'I'm a PC' commercial were created with Macs.
Four of the images that Microsoft made available on its PressPass site today display the designation "Adobe Photoshop C3 Macintosh" when their file properties are examined. The images appear to be frames from the television ads that Microsoft will launch later today.
One of the images is of a real Microsoft engineer, identified only as "Sean," who resembles John Hodgman, the actor who plays the PC character in Apple Inc.'s iconic ads.
Well seeing how Microsoft hired ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky to create the commercials, it's not surprising that they were using Macs since there wasn't a "no Macs" clause in the agreement. Probably should have been though. I told you to let me handle the law, Microsoft, I'm mad legal. Ha, well technically I'm 17, but I have a good fake.
On a side note, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so get out there and avast, ye maties and whatever the hell else pirates do.*
*Raping unacceptable, pillaging fine.
Microsoft's 'I'm a PC' ad images made on Macs [computerworld]
Thanks to Stephen and Huggy Bear, who are both half PC, half Mac, but 100% pirate.
Sep 19 2008 More Phone Calls From Beyond The Grave
Okay, last time it was text messages, but still. Apparently close family members of Chuck Peck, a passenger who died on impact as a result of the recently crashed Metrolink train, received 35 calls from him the night of the accident.
It is logical to assume that the phone calls were the result of a technical malfunction and not supernatural forces. And, as far as I know, there has been no analysis of the condition of the cellphone itself. But consider this--all 35 calls were made to close family members only: his son, brother, sister, stepmother and fiancee.
Holy crap that is freaky. And sad. But to cheer you up, I've got a similar, happier story: A roommate of mine got killed by a city bus but still managed to order 4 XL pepperoni pizzas to the apartment. Just kidding, I stole his credit card before they deactivated it.
LA Train Victim Makes 35 Phone Calls From Beyond the Grave [gizmodo]
Thanks to Matt, who once sent an email from beyond the birth.
Sep 19 2008 Hey, Darth Vader Needs Lovin' Too
I'd definitely do the one on the left, but I don't know about the other. I mean, what the hell are those things on his chest?
Caption Contest: Vader Love [gizmodo]
Sep 19 2008 Awh, How Cute: A Printer Repair Kitty
This little guy must be the L337 computer repair kitty because that's exactly how I fixed my printer.
Watch it to the end.
Youtube
Thanks to Matthew, whose cat could hack your dog's myspace profile if it wanted.
Sep 19 2008 Guy Makes Good Looking Portable N64
We've seen all sorts of portable console mods here on Geekologie, including the good, the wooden, and the made by a third-grader. And now, Benheck forum user hailrazer went and made himself a nice little portable Nintendo 64. Good looking, sleetblade, I wouldn't mind having one myself. Can you say Ocarina of Time while driving? I can, "Ocarina of Time while *CRASH* oh God, help.
Hit the jump for two more pics of the pretty little thing.
Sep 19 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Cardboard Cat Playhouses
These fold-it-yourself cat playhouses from suckUK are made from grade-A cardboard and there is no way in hell my cats could fit through that little hole in the top without utterly destroying the thing. But if you have small cats, each one costs about $27, making them some of the most expensive pieces of soon-to-be shredded cardboard I've ever seen. Seriously, if you love your cats and want to get them the nicest playthings, do what I did and get them all Power Wheels. Oh, hold on. "Jimmy, what did I tell you about running over the dog's tail? Haha, yeah, you want to be going full speed. Good kitty."
Product Page
Thanks to Phil, whose pets dine exclusively on Dom Pérignon. Drunk pets are the best pets!
Sep 19 2008 Get Your Drown On With The Home Swimmer
The $90 Home Swimmer is a tether that prevents you from going anywhere while you swim imaginary laps in your home pool. Alternatively, it makes a great dolphin leash. Mush you stupid Flipper, mush! Oh hell no you didn't just squeak at me.
Home Swimmer: Unleash your inner Michael Phelps [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who once swam to the depths of the Pacific to have sex with a mermaid, but she had given him a fake address!
Sep 19 2008 Microsoft's New 'I'm A PC' Commercial
Well folks, after the two Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld commercials, Microsoft has shifted their advertising campaign to a more head-on approach to Apple's 'Get A Mac' ads. Introducing the 'I'm a PC' commercial! As you can see from the video, people with PC's do all sorts of crazy things. From shark diving to practicing law to building green buildings, and even fishmongering, PC's have their hand in every pot. But not mine -- nobody touches me gold!
Thanks to Goat and Kane, who probably only use theirs for porn.
Sep 18 2008 The First Glimpse Of An Actual Alien Planet
That's right folks, this is not the light at the end of the tunnel, it's a star and orbiting planet some 500 light years away.
While scientists have found numerous planets by detecting gravitational "wobble" in stars, "this is the first time we have directly seen a planetary mass object in a likely orbit around a star like our Sun," said the lead author of a paper about the discovery, David Lafrenière.
The planet is 3,106 trillion miles away and approximately 8x the size of Jupiter, but 11x further from its sun than Neptune is from ours. Interesting, very interesting. Being a town-renowned astronomer myself, I'll go ahead and spit some info about the planet that those pseudo-scientists that made the discovery failed to mention. Let's see here....round, yellowish-orange, significantly smaller than 1".
BAM! You just got Saganed!
Historic first look at an alien world, 3106 trillion miles away [dvice]
Sep 18 2008 I'll Send An O.S. To The World, I'll Send An O.S. To The World, I Hope That Someone Gets My, I Hope That Someone Gets My, I Hope That Someone Gets My, Computer In A Bottle
Some guy, tired of little ships, decided to build a PC in a bottle. As you can see, it's pretty damn good looking. Inspired, I made my own and brought it into work to show off. Hold on, I'll take some pictures of it and post them after the....goddamnit, who drank my computer? Superficial Writer, I catch you pissing RAM and I'll kill you.
Hit the jump for a couple more.
Sep 18 2008 KITT Stolen During Publicity Event In Canada
Allegedly KITT, from the new Knight Rider series, was stolen during a publicity event in Toronto last week. I call FAKE and VIRAL.
The car was making a stop in Toronto for a publicity stunt in front of Union Station on Front Street. The car was being unloaded from its transport trailer for a crowd of onlookers. When its handler turned her back for a moment, a man darts from the median, jumps into the still-running ride, and peels off heading East on Front Street.
Apparently the car has yet to be found, and to date has not been exposed as a publicity stunt. I call complete and utter shenanigans. Regardless, I'm sure KITT will turn himself on and return to Mike's side any minute now.
UPDATE: Yep, aaaaaany minute now....
UPDATE: FAXOR! (thanks Giblet, now get your buddy Gravy over here and we'll have ourselves a feast)
Knight Rider's KITT Stolen in Toronto [themovieblog]
Thanks to Arthur and Ray, who once beat KITT in a potato sack race.
Sep 18 2008 About Time: Company Aims To Fight Robots
Weapons Against Robots (WAR) is a company started by internet millionaire Ben Way (not to be confused with ballmaker Ben Wa) as a means to defend humanity against the inevitable robot uprising. The company will "combat the potential threats posed by artificial intelligence through the creation of anti-robot weaponry, detection and monitoring of robots, and use of anti-robot viruses. Way believes that, as AI is increasingly used in warfare and defense, it is prudent to ready countermeasures in the event, not only of an enemy's use of robotics, but that an intelligence's programming goes awry."
Sounds good to me. Maybe WAR and FUBOTS should join forces. What do you say, Ben? I hate those evil mothers with a passion. Even more so since I lost my girlfriend to a vibrator.
Defense Firm Prepares to Terminate the Terminators [io9]
Thanks Brad, I may actually get some sleep tonight. But my anti-robot bat is still staying under the pillow.
Sep 18 2008 First A Ninja Cat, Now A Ninja Dog
Most of you daily readers out there that aren't brainwashed every night will recall yesterday's ninja cat post. And, as testament to my L337 unbiased reporting, here comes a ninja dog for all you canine lovers. This little guy could certainly teach these two ninjects a thing or two about proper ninjaing. You think he can wield a katana?
Voici Futfut le chien [blogeek]
Thanks to Antoine, who once trained a pack of ninja dogs to steal street signs.
Sep 18 2008 Guy Makes Steampunk Bluetooth Headset
Some guy went and made himself a steampunk Bluetooth headset to accentuate his tophat and monocle. The fully functional earpiece is made out of Sculpey clay with watch parts stuck in it. And whether you're a fan of steampunk styling or not, I think we can all agree that I wish I could grow sideburns.
UPDATE: Okay, so it might not be functional after all. Making it, well, un-postworthy. Forget you ever read this.
Steampunk Bluetooth ear piece [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who loves steampunk but hates steamemo.
Sep 18 2008 'Toilet Paper Researchers' Develop 3-Ply TP
First of all, what in the hell is a 'toilet paper researcher', and how do I become one? Secondly, this is ridiculous. I've been wiping with the comics for years, and let me tell you -- you could probably read Garfield on my buttcheeks.
Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.
The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."
Hey, I'm not 45+ or female, but I'm all for a "sanctuary of quality time". I spend countless hours in my cozy fortress of solitude. It even has a bidet. I've been using it for a couple months and, honest to God, I haven't gotten a single cavity. Yay fluoride!
Toilet-Paper Researchers Create 3-Ply Tissue [livescience]
via
"Toilet Paper Researchers" Create 3-Ply Tissue [gizmodo]
Thanks to Emma, who, in the world of comfy toilet paper, would be like 12-ply
Sep 18 2008 Large Hadron Collider Gets New Name
The Royal Society of Chemistry in London recently held a contest to rename the Large Hadron Collider. The votes are in, and the doomsday machine's new name is *drumroll please*....Halo!
After sifting more than 2,500 responses, ranging from The Big Banger to Infinite Devil Machine and The Matter Splatterer, it has now selected a winner to rechristen the vast enterprise.
"Halo conjures visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom. The circle of light reflects the collider's form; it is a crowning achievement of science and engineering. It also gives more than a nod to the experiment's importance to religious debate."
Visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom? I get it -- like Master Chief, right?
Large Hadron Collider: Public chooses 'Halo' as its new name [telegraph]
Thanks to Kevo and Mikeeeeeeeeeeeee, both of whom swear they voted for the much catchier 'Oh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck'
Sep 17 2008 Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon
In this installment of money doesn't buy class comes a Ferrari station wagon. It was custom built by Ferrari for the Sultanate of Brunei and is making me sick to my stomach. The only thing worse than paying Ferrari to build a station wagon is to make one yourself. I just don't get it. And in other news, the new Facebook sucks monster hangy-downy dinosaur balls and I wish I did too.
Hit the jump for two more pictures.
Continue Reading " Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon "
Sep 17 2008 Woops: How Not To Dispose Of A Sex Doll
The best way to dispose of a sex doll is to hump it until it melts. But if you don't have superhuman stamina or a laser penis, your options are limited. So what do you do? Dump it like a dead hooker.
A 60-year-old man, having lived with his rubbery companion for a few years after his wife passed away, but when he decided to move in with his kids we felt like it was time to move on. He was too attached to chop his former lover up into pieces and toss her out with the trash, so he did what any respectable guy would do: stuck her in a sleeping bag, brought her to a remote, wooded area and dumped her.
Unshockingly, hikers stumbled upon the sleeping bag and notified authorities. One very brief post-mortem exam later, and the guy finally came forward to claim his former lover. He faces littering charges and future relations with a once-dead sex doll. You know, this reminds me of the time a dead hooker came back to haunt me. If I told her once, I told her a million times -- I'm still not paying you one-legged ghost of a whore!
Dumping Someone is Hard, Even if that Someone is a Sex Doll [gizmodo]
Sep 17 2008 World's Shortest Man Meets Leggiest Woman
The Guinness Book of World Records held an event yesterday in Trafalgar Square to celebrate the release of the 2009 edition. Among the attendees were Svetlana Pankratova, world's leggiest woman (at 52"), and He Pingping, the world's shortest man (at 2' 5.37"). As you can see, the photoshoot gave He the perfect opportunity to score a worm's eye view of Svetlana's love nest. Nice He, but if I was you I would have climbed one of those legs and built a treehouse.
Shortest Man Meets Leggiest Woman [aol]
Thanks to Pat, who swears he dated a chick with even longer legs and had to use a grappling hook to have sex.
Sep 17 2008 Star Wars Episode III With Piss-Poor Subtitles
I don't know if this is real or not, but it certainly could be. Apparently some pirates got a copy of Star Wars Episode III before its release and decided to subtitle it themselves. The result? A homoerotic space thriller!
Skip to about 1:00 to get past the explanation.
Thanks Charlie, but you bite my finger and I'll kill you.
Sep 17 2008 Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium
The Fish 'N Flush is a 2.5 gallon aquarium that replaces your regular ceramic tank. It consists of two pieces: the actual fill tank, and the aquarium, which surrounds the fill tank for the "fish in your toilet" effect. It costs $300 and is great for pocket fishermen and people who can't keep pet fish alive (comes conveniently located atop a fish cemetery). But for the love of God, DO NOT sell one to this kid, that's just asking for it. I want one though. The only problem is you don't get to enjoy the aquarium while you're sitting on the john. Unless...
UPDATE: You ever tried straddling a toilet? I shat on the floor!
Two more pictures and a video of the flushing in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium "
Sep 17 2008 Mini Kegs: Not Just For Breakfast Anymore
Etsy seller hesslerk is selling this sleek Heineken mini keg amp for $120.
My liver suffered to bring you this awesome amp, don't worry... the beer went to a good cause!The sleek design and sound quality will blow you away! Works great for Guitar, Bass, and MP3 players. Plugs into a standard wall outlet. The amp has a power switch and volume control.
I want it. I can't even play the guitar and my MP3 player got stolen by a monkey while vacationing in Costa Rica, but I still want it. I mean, I love beer. Which explains why I woke up in jail and had to make up a lame excuse for why I showed up for work so late.
Hit the jump for one more picture.
Continue Reading " Mini Kegs: Not Just For Breakfast Anymore "
Sep 17 2008 Marble Maze Table Looks Fun, Expensive
Remember when you were a kid and your parents wouldn't let you have dessert until you ate everything on your plate even though they convinced you it was rattlesnake and Rocky Mountain oysters (fried bull nads). Yeah, that sucked. But at least you would have had some entertainment if you ate on this Marbelous dinner table. Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase (which my mom originated but was later stolen and altered by a popular rock band), "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your balls?"
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups of the table.
Sep 17 2008 Ninja Cat Is Mad Stealthy, Will Kill You
Sorry for the late start today folks. You see, my girlfriend and I got in a fight last night over how I like my eggs cooked, and she, in a fit of rage, broke my interwebs. But I've pieced them back together and am ready to roll. So let's do this!
Here's a video of a ninja cat that only approaches when the cameraman isn't looking. Skip about halfway through the video for the good stuff. It's pretty cute. Reminds me of the time The Terrorist tried to jump on the bed but landed on my face and clawed the everliving shit out of it. Thankfully, I have a great personality.
Thanks to Chachoregard, who once ninjad a guy in the face for selling him faulty shurikens.
Sep 16 2008 YES!: Princess Peach Cosplay Costume
Jenni Källberg, aka Pixelninja, aka the hottie that made and posed in the two Samus Aran suits, aka my future wife, aka my future ex-wife, is back at it -- this time with a Princess Peach cosplay costume. As you can see, it looks great, and so does Jenni (who is half Swedish and half Japanese). Wow, the things I would do to her. Like rescue.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more of Jenni as Princess Peach, a couple of which include Racoon Mario, who I should have edited out.
Sep 16 2008 Awesomest Game Ever Is Coming Soon!
Jetpack Brontosaurus is a video game being developed by Flashbang Studios. It combines two of the sexiest things alive, jetpacks and dinosaurs, to create the awesomest game ever. My loins tingle at the thought of a Hot Coffee mod.
Thanks to Michael, who knows a good video game when he sees one.
Sep 16 2008 Naked Man Walks Dog, Gets Tasered
A 40-year old virgin in Tallahassee, Florida was tasered and arrested last Friday night for walking his dog in the nude (him, the dog had a collar on). Apparently the man become belligerent and refused to obey a cops orders, which led to the zap zap action. And here comes the kicker:
When asked what he was doing, the man told the officer, "Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog," (Officer) McCranie said.
Holy shit, I need his dealer's number.
Naked man walking dog Tasered by Tallahassee police [tallahassee]
Thanks to Ryan, who at least has the decency to throw on a hat before going out.
Sep 16 2008 Hands-Free Cellphoning Without Bluetooth
This hands-free cellphone holder was designed by Francesca Lanzavecchia and doubles as an excuse to park in handicapped spots. It comes complete with a stretchable rubber skin that fits over it so you can store your phone and cigarettes in there when not in use. Seems pretty freaking impractical. Still, it reminds me of the first time I faked an injury to get some sympathy. You ever tried to cast your own penis before? It isn't easy. I ended up just tying an athletic sock around it and calling it a sling. And you know what? Not a single 'Get Well' card.
Hit the jump for the original model.
Continue Reading " Hands-Free Cellphoning Without Bluetooth "
Sep 16 2008 It's About Time: Anti-Theft Lunch Bags
There's nothing worse than nagging your mommy to pack you a really good lunch only to have it stolen by some dick of a coworker. Enter the Anti-Theft Lunch bag, a Zip-Lock with moldy looking splotches printed on both sides. Created by designer Sherwood Forlee, you can email him to be notified when the bags become available for sale. Or, I dunno, make your own. Another option is to just bring two lunches so if somebody eats one you've still got a backup.
UPDATE: Who the hell steals two lunches?
Hit the jump to see what a sandwich looks like inside. Spoiler: Moldy.
Sep 16 2008 Tokyoflash: Telling Time With The Negative
Tokyoflash is back at it, this time with a wicked new design -- The Negative. The appropriately named device tells time using the negative space created by lit LEDs.
Available in polished silver or polished black, Negative's LCD screen is always displaying the time, allowing the wearer to read it with a quick glance. What really brings this design to life is its multi color LED light guide. At the touch of a button, the display can be backlit with one of seven user selectable colors, a feature which is most impressive at night.
The watch can display time both vertically and horizontally, and will set you back about $162. I'm really digging it. The Negative. Speaking of which, guess what -- the test came back and I AM NOT THE FATHER! This can only mean one thing -- my girlfriend is slut positive.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesome.
Continue Reading " Tokyoflash: Telling Time With The Negative "
Sep 16 2008 Where's Waldo?: The Waldo Ultimatum
This is a little movie made by sketch group The Imponderables combing Where's Waldo? and The Bourne Ultimatum. Man, I freaking loved finding Waldo. Sometimes he would hide so good! I remember one time there was a guy that looked almost identical, but it wasn't really him! Good times, good times. But seriously, f*** those Magic Eye books, I could never see shit.
Fun Fact: Where's Waldo? ranks #88 on the 100 Most Frequently Banned Books list because there's a topless chick in the upper right corner of the "On The Beach" scene. Go here to see just how inappropriate it isn't.
Youtube
Thanks to Carl, who not only found Waldo, but kicked his little Harry Potter ass.
Sep 16 2008 Uh-Oh: Government Fears Terrorists Are Plotting Attacks In Online Worlds
A researcher at the Pentagon recently gave a presentation at the Director of National Intelligence Open Source Conference explaining how terrorists could potentially plot attacks by meeting in a virtual world.
In it, two World of Warcraft players discuss a raid on the "White Keep" inside the "Stonetalon Mountains." The major objective is to set off a "Dragon Fire spell" inside, and make off with "110 Gold and 234 Silver" in treasure. "No one will dance there for a hundred years after this spell is cast," one player, "war_monger," crows.
Except, in this case, the White Keep is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Dragon Fire" is an unconventional weapon. And "110 Gold and 234 Silver" tells the plotters how to align the game's map with one of Washington, D.C.
Great, like I didn't already have enough to worry about in World of Warcraft. Now that I'm on terrorist patrol, I may never get a mount. Whatever happened to good old fashioned D&D terrorism?
Hit the jump for two pictures explaining how you can use a game's map to help plot an attack.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Government Fears Terrorists Are Plotting Attacks In Online Worlds "
Sep 15 2008 Crazy Dutch Architects Photoshop Some Stuff
This picture (and the others after the jump) were created by Dutch architecture firm NL as a creative exercise in design and were recently presented at the Venice Architecture Biennale. I have no idea what this has to do with anything, but now I want to be an architect. And also, I want a loopty-loop on my way to work. Can you imagine how fun that would be? Deathly fun! Now who wants to help me pitch this show idea to the History Channel? I'm thinking Loop Road Truckers.
UPDATE: F*** the History Channel, they wouldn't return my calls. We're going with the Discovery Channel. The Deadliest Commute baby, I smell Emmy!
Hold it now, hit it for a bunch of other clever shoppings.
Continue Reading " Crazy Dutch Architects Photoshop Some Stuff "
Sep 15 2008 Own Your Own T-Rex Statue With Movement And Blood Curdling Roar!
This isn't actually made from real bones (although for $22,000 it damn well should be), but it is an accurate skeletal statue of a young Tyrannosaurus E-rex (it does me anyway). Hit the jump to see the statue's movement and hear its roar, both of which are pretty freaking impressive. Now they just need to add some silicon skin, a couple life-like entries, a ladder for easy access, and what in the hell is wrong with me? That's right, nothing.
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Own Your Own T-Rex Statue With Movement And Blood Curdling Roar! "
Sep 15 2008 Watchmen's Dr. Manhattan In LEGO Form
You know that Watchmen movie that's coming out? The one based on Alan Moore's graphic (but not that kind of graphic) novel? Yeah, well somebody went and LEGOfied the character poster of Dr. Manhattan. Pretty impressive work. Hit the jump for a comparison shot, showing the incredibly similarity to both the poster AND original artwork. Good looking, Flickr user artpoly. If I've said it once I've said it at least ten times: there's only one thing sexier than a man's glowing blue ass -- a plastic one. So hot right now.
Hit the jump to see a shot of the doctor from the front along with the comparison I pasted together.
Sep 15 2008 Tina Fey Makes Princess Leia Endorsement
Tina Fey, who appeared on Saturday Night Live this weekend to play Sarah Palin, also made a political endorsement at the end of the show. Who did she choose? Princess 'I'd hit that shit like a ton of Death Star' Leia. The shirt is actually one from this collection that we posted last month, and will set you back around $18. Okay, now that's two times I've promoted these damn shirts -- I think it's about time I get a piece of that sandwich, if you know what I mean. No seriously, give me a bite -- I'm starving and my mom didn't pack me anything. :(
Hit the jump for a closeup.
Thanks to Kristen, who, like yours truly, is still voting for this guy.
Continue Reading " Tina Fey Makes Princess Leia Endorsement "
Sep 15 2008 LED Coffee Table With 4-Person Pong
This homebrew LED coffee table is packing 65 microcontrollers and 4,092 LEDs. Why? So you can play 4-person co-op Pong of course. Note: That's a mirror under the table and not a secret passage to Wiretown.
We'd seen designs with interactive LEDs that responded to objects on the table, and they usually had around 400 LEDs...so we decided to up the ante with 10 times as many. We built the table and then decided that simple interactions were not enough, and went to work on a full-fledged game. 4-way multiplayer pong, in fact. Being geeks, we were obligated to have the game controlled using 4 Atari 2600 controllers (circa 1977). Four players sit around the table and cooperatively try to get the highest score. Score increases with each paddle hit and a new ball is introduced on hits 5, 10, 20, 30, etc.
Speaking from experience, it's never a good idea to introduce new balls into a 4-way. I've been there before, and let me tell you: when the # poles > # holes, things get awkward. Read: The new guy accused me of staring.
Hit the jump for two really awful videos of the table in action.
Sep 15 2008 The Snuggie: ZOMG, A Blanket With Sleeves!
The Snuggie (as seen on TV) is a $15 blanket with sleeves that requires an $8 shipping and handling charge. Per the ditty at the beginning of the commercial:
You want to keep warm when you're feeling chilled
But you don't want to raise your heating bill
Blankets are okay, but they can slip and slide
and when you need to reach for something -- your hands are trapped inside
Now -- there's the Snuggie!
As catchy as that was, I've got some bad news for you, Snuggie -- you're a freaking robe. And speaking of which --- I put my Snuggie and wizard hat....
Hit the jump for a two minute commercial.
Continue Reading " The Snuggie: ZOMG, A Blanket With Sleeves! "
Sep 15 2008 Yes, Please!: A New Star Wars Bedding Set
Star Wars sheets: no man's bed is complete without them. I had Dukes of Hazzard sheets growing up, so I think it's about time for some Star Wars action. Sold by Pottery Barn, the set is expensive, but well worth it. Just imagine: a bottle of wine, some aromatic candles, a whole box of Star Wars condoms, this bedding set, and you stretched out on top PEW PEWing your own spaceship with a numb hand (The Phantom Menace). I know, it almost sounds too romantic.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the collection.
Continue Reading " Yes, Please!: A New Star Wars Bedding Set "
Sep 15 2008 Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !!
Last week a group of hackers busted all up in the Large Hadron Collider's network and did stuff. Okay, so they didn't really do anything. That we know about.
Calling themselves the Greek Security Team, the interlopers mocked the IT used on the project, describing the technicians responsible for security as "a bunch of schoolkids."
However, despite an ominous warning "don't mess with us," the hackers said they had no intention of disrupting the work of the atom smasher."We're pulling your pants down because we don't want to see you running around naked looking to hide yourselves when the panic comes," they wrote in Greek in a rambling note posted on the LHC's network.
Of course they're not going to disrupt the atom smashing. They have to make sure the LHC is fully functional before they bust back in. Then they'll use the system's time machining capabilities to travel back in time and fulfill man's quest to have sex with dinosaurs. Lizard people yo, lizard people.
Hit the jump for a video explaining the experiments conducted using the LHC.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !! "
Sep 12 2008 The Latest Microsoft Ad With Bill And Jerry
This is Microsoft's latest (and longest, at 4:30) commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. I found it moderately entertaining. But what I really took away from the experience was this: if Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld ever stayed at my place, I'd rob those suckers blind. Or at least 20/100. That was a vision joke!
Thanks to Doug and Popadopolis, you can come stay at my place anytime. Just bring beer.
Sep 12 2008 UK University Offering Course In Jedi
Queen's University Belfast in Northern Ireland is offering a course in Jedi this semester.
According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.
It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism. The course will provide students with the fundamental building blocks they'll need to succeed in careers like never having sex.
Sign me up!
Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course [abc]
Thanks to Miriam, who actually trained the very first Jedi.
Sep 12 2008 Pac-Man The Movie: Pac-Man In Real Life
This is a short film called Pac-Man: The Movie. It's told from the ghosts perspective, by four people running around in colored trash bags. I thought it was pretty cute. Not baby bunny cute, mind you, but definitely cuter than unidentifiable roadkill.
Thanks to Nicole, who once punched a ghost so hard it came back to life. But then she killed it again with her superpower -- sexiness. True story.
Sep 12 2008 I Want: A Skull Shaped Deprivation Chamber
The Sensory Deprivation Skull is a little room you climb into when your wife won't stop nagging you about "cutting the grass" and "getting a job". It effectively blocks out light and wife-banter and will eventually make you go crazy and possibly even masturbate to vivid hallucinations of Smurfette. Needless to say, I want one pretty bad. But if you're looking for the ultimate in sensory deprivation, I recommend you tie a black garbage bag over your head. You won't sense a thing....ever!
Note: Please nobody do that. I can't deal with another death on my conscience.
Hit it for one more picture of a sexy little lady crawling around inside your skull.
Continue Reading " I Want: A Skull Shaped Deprivation Chamber "
Sep 12 2008 It's A Sign!: Global Warming Is Real, Phallic
Finally, photographic evidence that proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the North Pole has melted and Santa's penis floated out to sea.
Hit it for the uncensored ice junx.
Continue Reading " It's A Sign!: Global Warming Is Real, Phallic "
Sep 12 2008 My Turn, My Turn!: A Human Catapult
A couple weeks ago we saw the AirKick human catapult,and today we've got a video of the homemade variety. I don't really have much to say except they didn't make it powerful enough. You'd have to chuck a body at least twice that hard if you expect to damage a castle.
Homemade Human Catapult Action - Don't Try This at Home [uberreview]
Sep 12 2008 Burn Whatever You Want Onto Your Toast. Cha-Ching, eBay Fortune Here I Come!
Similar in concept to the Note Toaster, comes this little marvel of bread heating technology. The brainchild of industrial designer Sung Bae Chang, the Scan Toaster connects to your computer via USB and can burn pretty much whatever the hell you want onto your bread.
The toaster utilizes a network of toasting "modules" -- hot wires that rotate within a 30 degree radius -- that burn the image or text you have selected onto the delicious slice of your choice.
Awesome. Crank out a Virgin Mary or Large Hadron Collider and start raking in the dough on eBay. Or, if you want to get really creative, a giant member spewing butter or jam. Just saying, sex sells. Unfortunately my condo doesn't -- somebody buy this freaking dump already.
Scan Toaster puts the power of 'miracle toast' in the hands of mere mortals [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who's looking for a lovely lady to butter his bread. And also, make him an omelet.
Sep 12 2008 Live Large Hadron Collider Webcams
This is a snapshot from one of the webcams positioned on the Large hadron Collider. Hit this link to view them, there's been a bunch of bustling around the past few days and I think I saw a guy trip and fall down the stairs on the left. Definitely worth checking out. And also, a book from the library. Get your read on, bitches!
Hit it for one more shot, but view the cams first for some hot and steamy live action.
Sep 11 2008 Hybrid Gaming Systems: The Super Genintari
The Super Genintari was made by the same modder as yesterday's Nintoaster and combines four gaming systems in one. I'll let you guess which four. Pretty impressive, Mr. Modder, but I see your Super Genintari and raise you one XPlay-NeoGrafxJagDream 260064360. Geekologie Writer FTW!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the translucent hybrid.
Continue Reading " Hybrid Gaming Systems: The Super Genintari "
Sep 11 2008 Awh Man: Indian Girl Kills Herself Over Fear Of World-Ending Large Hadron Collider
Damn, this is some sadness. Chayya, a 16-year old Indian girl from Madhya Pradesh, drank pesticide and killed herself over fear of the Large Hadron Collider going online and destroying the earth. I send my deepest sympathies to Chayya's family and pray, for the sake of my own soul, that she never read Geekologie.
R.I.P. Chayya
Indian Teen Commits Suicide Over LHC Fears [uberreview]
PSA: THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER WILL NOT DESTROY THE PLANET.
Sep 11 2008 "Now That's What I Call Easter!" Volume 26
Chios, Greece doesn't celebrate Easter with dyed eggs and a big chocolate bunny. No sir, they do it up right -- with two churches firing thousands of fireworks at one another. The tradition dates back to 1889 (OLD!), when Ottoman forces confiscated the islander's cannons and the locals were forced to fight back with homemade rockets. Awesome! Though in retrospect, I'm thankful my church didn't do this when I was growing up. Because then I would have been an altar boy -- and we all know what happened to them...they stole sacramental wine and grew up to be drunkards. Just kidding, they got their asses touched. So yeah, thanks for the grope-free ass, Church of No Fireworks!
Fireworks War, Greek Town Celebrates Easter With a Rocket War Against Its Neighbor [uberreview]
Sep 11 2008 Two Laser Eyed Cats In A Staring Contest
Every time you masturbate God makes two cats with laser eyes have a staring contest TO THE DEATH. ZOMG, I've killed so many kitties.
Hit the jump for one more picture, which is actually a sculpture by Steve Bishop made with two ceramic cats and fluorescent tubes.
Continue Reading " Two Laser Eyed Cats In A Staring Contest "
Sep 11 2008 Buy Your Own Creepy Bioengineered Pet
GenPets are bioengineered pets specifically created to make petcare as simple as possible. They come in a state of hibernation, but awaken when the sleep inducing protein serum is removed from their nutrient supply tube. Some highlights from the FAQs:
Are Genpets Real animals? How?
Genpets are living, breathing mammals. Bio-Genica is a Bioengineering Company that has combined, and modified existing DNA to create the Genpets lineup. Genpets have blood, bones, and muscle; they will bleed if you cut them, and die if mistreated just like any other animal. The electronic components are only in the packages and are for basic life support, outside of the packages the Genpets are wholly organic.
Do Genpets feel pain?
Yes. However the Genpets have limited vocal chords so they will not create a large amount of noise when disturbed.
Can Genpets become angry or violent?
The Genpets are designed to be docile, combined with that, the nutrient packs keep them well tempered. If a Genpet were to be taken off of its nutrient pack it would die long before any behavioural issues could develop as the nutrient packs are also the Genpets sole source of food.
If you haven't guessed by now, GenPets are faker than my girlfriend's bra busters, but not nearly as fun to poke at in the car while she's trying to drive. GenPets a hoax and art exhibit by Adam Brandejs, and are meant to start an open discussion about the benefits and drawbacks of bioengineering. But they did a bangup job on making the website look believable, so send friends and family there to freak them out. Or, if you're really aiming to scar them, make em watch 6 girls + 2 pitchers.
More pictures after the jump, and stop searching you sicko, there is no 6 girls + 2 pitchers (I hope).
Sep 11 2008 Grad Student Auctioning Her Virginity To Pay For School, I Am Winning, Don't Outbid Me
A female grad student at Sacramento State is selling her virginity in an auction to pay for her schooling. She may or may not have had a pair of baby high heels as an infant.
The 22-year-old who is using the pseudonym Natalie Dylan for safety reasons is going through a legal brothel in Nevada to sell her virginity. "The main purpose of this is to finance a couple things in my life," Dylan told CBS13. "I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself."
Dylan says she's already taken a polygraph test to prove her virginal status, and is also willing to undergo a medical exam.Hof says Dylan is a bright, beautiful young woman who's going to consider a number of factors in her decision because she wants her first time to be a positive experience. "Natalie is a very smart girl. All she wants to do is get her master's degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist. She's selling her virginity to accomplish that," Hof told CBS13. "She's smart enough to sell it. This is empowering her."
I think we can all agree when I say this is most certainly what female empowerment is all about. Take that, glass ceiling!
Hit the jump for a more provocative picture.
Sep 11 2008 Super Mario Saves The Princess Cartoon
If you haven't seen or heard already, Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy) is releasing a bunch of web cartoon episodes called Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Comedy. This is one of the first, and it's what happens after Mario rescues the princess in Super Mario Bros. Now not to be a soiree shitter, but I kind of expected more. I mean, Princess Peach didn't even lift her dress to reveal she's swinging a monster Hammer Brother down there. Which, admit it, would have been comedy copper, possibly silver. And hot.
Youtube
Thanks to Silver Sided and Richard, both of whom actually did bang the princess after rescuing her.
Sep 11 2008 Wait, What?: High Heels For Babies
Heelarious High Heels are your baby girl's first precious step to a life of stripping. Made for infants 0-6 months old, the $35 shoes practically guarantee a future in exotic entertainment. Okay, so they're actually just crib shoes that have a foam heel, but still, I think we can all agree this is fundamentally wrong. Thankfully, I'll never have a daughter -- I always insist my girlfriend be on top.
FUTURE UPDATE: Wow, three girls in a row. Seriously, this woman on top thing just isn't freaking working. So, to you parents of boys out there -- how did you do it? Is the secret in the butt? Just wink one brown eye if it is. I knew it!
Official Website
Thanks to Melanie, who grew up wearing rocket boots and is now an astronaut.
Sep 10 2008 Further Proof: Money Doesn't Buy Class
Thought the gold Porsche and Burberry Maserati were bad? How about a pink camo Bugatti Veyron? I know, I think I just shat in my mouth a little too. The Veyron (and green camo Rolls Royce Phantom after the jump!) are both owned by Nigo, the ban behind Japanese clothing line Bathing Ape. Fortunately, if there is such a thing as fortune in this case, the eye poison is actually the result of vinyl wraps (like the Maserati) so you can rip the hideous off before you sell it to someone else. Man, I can't wait till I'm a rich a-hole with no class. I've already got classless asshole down pat, now I just need the rich. I'm coming for you, bank!
Hit the jump for the camo Rolls and an unrelated camo Porsche.
Sep 10 2008 Wicked Cool Post-It Note Movie
This is a video made by Eepybird (the guys that do the Diet Coke and Mentos geysers) entitled 'The Sticky Note Experiments'. It was made using 280,951 Post-Its stuck together to form Slinkies (that's over a quarter million for those of you that like your numbers in fractions and words). It was very well done. I just wish I could have embedded a larger version of it. And invested in 3M stock.
Eepybird's post it note experiment [vimeo]
Hit that for a larger version.
Thanks to Rami, who once made a Diet Coke and Mentos cannon and blew up a tank.
Sep 10 2008 Verizon Technician Busted For Making $220K In Phone Sex Calls Using Customer's Lines
A Verizon technician, whose name I won't mention (Joseph Vaccarelli, 45, of Nutley, New Jersey) managed to tap into the land lines of over 950 customers and make 45,000 minutes of phone sex calls.
Verizon estimated that out of a 40-week period, Vaccarelli spent 15 weeks talking on 900 chat lines, authorities alleged. Of the 15 weeks, 14 were spent on lines with men pretending to be women.
Holy hellfire, shit, and brimstone, somebody buy this guy a freaking hooker already.
Verizon Tech Accused Of Making $220K In Sex Calls [wcbstv]
Thanks to Mark, who once used a descrambler to see a boob on Cinemax.
Sep 10 2008 Bronze Vader Statues (Are A Waste Of $)
First the Leia sex statue, then R2 and C-3PO replicas, and now, Vader. The 4-foot, 150lb bronzed bastard was cast by Lawrence Noble and is pat of a limited edition of 30 pieces. Each costs $18,000, which I wouldn't even pay for a peanut butter sculpture of Chewbacca bending Jar Jar over a landspeeder. I mean, it could at least be life-size. And chocolate. Oh shit, and he should have a really pimp belt buckle. Something like "Vader tip goes PEW PEW!"
NOTE: That was a whistle tip reference. If you haven't seen the video, you haven't been living the past two years, so I posted it after the break. Watch the whole thing.
Continue Reading " Bronze Vader Statues (Are A Waste Of $) "
Sep 10 2008 Mythbuster Inhales Sulfur Hexafluoride
Helium is 6x less dense than air and makes your voice sound like you just got kicked in the pickle. But sulfur hexafluoride is 5x denser than air and makes you sound like a badass supervillian. You've got to hear it to believe it. And while Adam made me promise at the beginning of the video I wouldn't try it at home, I had my fingers crossed. I hope I die!
Hit the jump for two more MUST SEE physics videos, one a supersonic jet creating a halo of water vapor, and one of sound waves on fire.
Sep 10 2008 A Nice NES-y Breakfast: Thanks Nintoaster!
The Nintoaster is a Nintendo inside a toaster. You insert a game, press the lever down, and presto -- a nice heaping portion of NES-y breakfast in no time. It even glows red like a real toaster. But don't try sticking bread in there, because it won't work! Combine this sucker with the Wake N' Bacon and you've got yourself a well balanced breakfast. I'd kill for a cartridge and bacon sandwich right now, that shit's legit.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the make and testing.
Continue Reading " A Nice NES-y Breakfast: Thanks Nintoaster! "
Sep 10 2008 Large Hadron Collider Successfully Tested, Hasn't Destroyed Earth...Yet. Also, Stephen Hawking Chimes In On The Higgs Boson
CERN's Large Hadron Collider went online yesterday and completed it's first major test.
The world's largest particle collider passed its first major tests by firing two beams of protons in opposite directions around a 17-mile (27-kilometer) underground ring Wednesday in what scientists hope is the next great step to understanding the makeup of the universe.
Eventually two beams will be fired at the same time in opposite directions with the aim of recreating conditions a split second after the big bang, which scientists theorize was the massive explosion that created the universe.
We're doomed. And related news, Stephen Hawking is betting against the machine discovering the Higgs boson, aka "God's particle", a particle "believed to give mass to all other particles, and thus to matter that makes up the universe."
"I think it will be much more exciting if we don't find the Higgs. That will show something is wrong, and we need to think again. I have a bet of 100 dollars that we won't find the Higgs," added Hawking, "and another 100 that we all freaking die. AAAAHH!"
Massive particle collider passes first key tests [yahoo]
and
Hawking bets CERN mega-machine won't find 'God's Particle" [yahoo]
and
Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the earth yet? (definitely check it out)
Thanks Amanda and Pat -- but don't worry, we'll be safe under my bed.
Sep 10 2008 Apple Announces New iPod Nano, Whee!
If you haven't heard you probably live in a bomb shelter like we all should be, but Apple announced a new generation of iPod nanos yesterday at their "Let's Rock Out With Our Mac Loving Cocks Out" event in San Francisco. The new nano is thinner, curvier, and comes in a bunch of different colors, as well as 8GB and 16GB capacities. It also has an accelerometer so you can shake it to shuffle your songs and turn it sideways for a wide-screen experience. The device has the new 'Genius' feature as well, meaning it can create playlists by finding songs in your library that go well together. Neato. 8GB's are $150, 16GB's are $200, and I'll throw in some hand action for another $10. Toothless smiles are always free.
Hit the jump for the official commercial.
Sep 9 2008 Production Model Photos Of The Chevy Volt
I'm sure many of you have already heard about the Volt, Chevy's stab at an electric car. In case you didn't, here's some info:
The Concept Chevy Volt, with its revolutionary E-Flex Propulsion System, will be different than any previous electric vehicle because it will use a lithium-ion battery with a variety of range-extending onboard power sources, including gas and, in some vehicles, E85 ethanol to recharge the battery while driving.When it comes to plugging in, the Volt will be designed to use a common 110-volt household plug. For someone who drives less than 40 miles a day, Chevy Volt will use zero gasoline and produce zero emissions. For longer trips, Chevy Volt's range-extending power source kicks in to recharge the lithium-ion battery pack as required.
Pretty promising right? I thought so. And the concept design (above) was amazingly not the shittiest thing I've ever seen in my life. So what did Chevy change for the actual production model? Everything cool.
Hit the jump to see photos of the Volt that will actually hit the market for 2011, along with two creeps that had something to do with it.
POLL: If both the guys in the following pictures were dressed as Santa and your mom took you to the mall to get your picture taken with him, whose lap would you rather sit on? I'm going with Mr. Mustache.
Continue Reading " Production Model Photos Of The Chevy Volt "
Sep 9 2008 New Esquire Magazine With E-Ink Cover
Did you pick up a copy of the 75th anniversary Esquire magazine yesterday to keep abreast of men's fashion? No? Well how about for the "first e-ink cover in history"? No? Well don't fret, because this is a video of the thing. As you can see, it's a magazine with a little e-ink panel. So what does this mean for magazines of the future? They're gonna consume more power.
Sep 9 2008 Whee!: Toy Car Runs On Walls, Ceilings
The Air Hog Zero Gravity R/C isn't zero gravity or radio controlled. But it does stick to walls thanks to the vacuum it creates via a little fan in the roof. The 5" car gets about 10 minutes of play time on a 30 minute charge, and is controlled via infrared controller. It'll set you back about $50, but really, what's the purpose? If you have walls -- guess what -- you've probably got a floor too!
Hit the jump for another picture and a video of the fun to be had.
Sep 9 2008 It's About Freaking Time: A USB Bottle Opener
Let's face it, drinking and data storage were made for each other. So why has it taken so long for somebody to make a sharp looking 16GB bottle opener? Beats me -- your guess is as good as mine. Unless you guessed government conspiracy or ninjas, in which case your guess was even better.
Thumb drive/bottle opener combo is one seriously useful gadget [dvice]
Sep 9 2008 How To Really Make Drinks 'On The Rocks'
ZOMG now you can really make drinks 'on the rocks'. You just chill these special Nordic Rocks in the freezer before use, and presto, they keep your drink cold! A set of ten costs about $29 and are sure to scratch your glass and f*** your teeth. $29? I mean seriously, I can get rocks from the yard.
UPDATE: Mmmm, scotch and mud on the rocks. Oh, and what's this -- I got a roly-poly!
stone ice cubes really put your drinks on the rocks [technabob]
Sep 9 2008 How Not To Play Wii
This is how you don't play Wii. SPOILER ALERT (LIKE THE STILL ABOVE WASN'T ENOUGH): With a dog humping you from behind while you scream in ecstasy. I don't know what's more disturbing -- that this video was clearly set up, or that this video was clearly set up. You see what violent video games are doing to today's youth?
Youtube
Thanks Tom, and yes, I'm scarred.
Sep 9 2008 Drawing On Wheels: The Sharpie Lamborghini
We've seen all kinds of exotic cars here on Geekologie. We've seen a golden Porche, Burberry barfwagon, a wooden supercar, chrome Lamborghini, DIY Lamborghini, a knit Ferrari, and even a Maserati covered in broken glass. And now, for your viewing pleasure, a Sharpie Lamborghini. It's been around for about a year so you may have seen it already. And if so, I applaud your internetellect. You can buy me a drink at Boozefest 2008 (more details to come). Anyway, this is a Lamborghini covered in Sharpie drawings. The car was penned by Prestige Lamborghini of Miami and took two weeks to create and cover with a clear coat. So what do you think? Like it? Love it? Want to drive it off a cliff? I kind of like it, and, as a guy who's no stranger to waking up with a giant Sharpied penis on his face, I need new friends.
Hit the jump for several more pictures and the link to a high-res gallery.
Continue Reading " Drawing On Wheels: The Sharpie Lamborghini "
Sep 9 2008 Make Your Own Mario Hat -- From Paper!
Always wanted Mario's iconic red cap but hate fabric? Well how about a paper one? That's right folks -- for the low, low price of some paper, printer ink, and Band-Aids you too can have your very own Mario cap. Looks too complicated for me though. The last time I made a paper hat it broke and my girlfriend got pregnant.
Template
via
Mario Cap Papercraft [paperkraft]
Thanks to Suzy, who recommends people living in paper houses not throw scissors.
Sep 8 2008 Seeing Is Believing: That Somebody Actually Decided To Pimp Out A Freaking Prius
Yep, somebody pimped out a Prius. To the max. The thing has 20" rims, inverted Koenigsegg doors, what appears to be an ion cannon, a billion speakers, a couple computers, alien technology, an engine, and seats. Allegedly, the powertrain is the only thing left unmodified. Wow. I mean, wow. Kind of defeats the purpose of getting a Prius in the first place, doesn't it? Seriously, WWJD were you thinking?
Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the thing, and start around 2:00 for the good stuff.
Sep 8 2008 Your Own Personal Peanut Butter Machine
Mmmm, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I've eaten tens of them. And nearly a dozen more peanut butter and banana sammies. So why not invest in my own personal $50 nut butterer?
Make your own warm, delicious peanut butter at home--for much less than store bought butter! Fill the top bin with your favorite shell nuts (you can also use macadamia, sunflower, cashews and more) and select chunky or smooth texture. In minutes you have creamy, all-natural nut butter perfect for baking, sandwiches, and crackers. Hopper holds up to two cups of dry nuts.
Oh man, this reminds me of the time my college roommate made a Nutella and penis sandwich and tried to seduce ducks by the pond. Seriously though, somebody invent a bread machine and I'm set for life.
UPDATE: Ha, turns out bread makers already exist -- mine should be home any minute!
Make Your Own Peanut Butter [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who thinks gold is tacky.
Sep 8 2008 Accessorize!: Handmade Nintendo Jewelry
Well snap crackle folks, two Zelda related posts in one day! Pop. Anyway, some guy made a bunch of Nintendo/Zelda jewelry for himself and his lady friend. Check it out after the jump, there's Triforces, a couple Zelda shields, a Metroid pendant, and some controllers. Did I mention I love accessorizing? It's true, I'm a jewelry nut. I even pierced my own ears -- with a bow and arrow! I am the hardcorest. Ask Robin Hood if you don't believe me, I wish I looked good in tights.
Hit the jump for more shiny jewelry than you could shake a silver spoon at.
Continue Reading " Accessorize!: Handmade Nintendo Jewelry "
Sep 8 2008 More Mega Man Action With Lyrics
Remember Brentalfloss's awesome Mega Man 3 song? Well he's back, this time with a Mega Man 2 inspired ditty. It's funny, so watch and listen. But for you folks at work: he does say ass and taint. I guess what I'm getting at is this: turn the speakers up full blast. And now, a Geekologie Writer original poem inspired by Mega Man.
Mega Man, he is blue.
Mega Man, robotic shoe.
Mega Man, lots of fight.
Rage, rage against the dying of Dr. Light.
Suck it Dylan Thomas, you just got poetried!
Thanks again to Brentalfloss, who made the song.
Sep 8 2008 Epic Fail: How Not To Clean Your Fishtank
I know what you're thinking, "is that a video still of a fish in some kid's bladder?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, yes it is.
The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation.
Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish "slipped" into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium."While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.
Riiiight. So the kid was holding a fish in his hand while pissing and it, like the noble salmon, swam up his urine stream and into the pecker. Sounds fishy if you ask me. Just admit it kid, you're a freak. And also, you should be banned from the pet store.
Boy in bizarre 'fish in penis' accident [practicalfishkeeping]
Thanks to Jennifer, who has a friend that had a similar accident with a turtle.
Sep 8 2008 The Legend Of Fashion: Painted Link Shirt
Geekologie reader and soon to be eBay Power Seller Vahn painted a Link t-shirt and is now selling it.
The painting was done with high quality artist acrylic paints, with textile paint medium to adhere the paints to the fabric. It was been coated with a safe acrylic varnish so the paint doesn't come off with gentle washing, and it has been ironed for permanence. I did use some metallic paints, so the art is not completely flat.
The bidding starts at $10 and there is a reasonable $4 shipping charge. Unlike some of the asshats on eBay that sell shit for $0.99 and then charge $20 shipping. In unrelated news, my girlfriend once bought a clock from the thrift store, then donated it back. Then bought it again. Then donated it again. Then bought it again. Then I freaking smashed it.
Hit the jump for a close up of Link's mug as well as a link(!) to the auction.
Continue Reading " The Legend Of Fashion: Painted Link Shirt "
Sep 8 2008 Giant Liverpudlian Spider Didn't Kill Anyone
Remember the giant robotic spider that was supposed to destroy Liverpool over the weekend? Well it didn't. From the reports I've read not a single person was bitten or squished. So maybe we do have a couple more years before the robots finally Tet Offend. Just kidding, a friend's Roomba told me we'll all be dead before Christmas. So you know what that means -- Santa better stuff his fat ass down my chimney early this year.
Search La Machine, Liverpool spider or La Princess on Youtube to see a bunch more of the beast.
Sep 8 2008 Questionable, But I'd Still Buy Some And Wear Them Around The House: Star Wars Condoms
If you can't tell from the picture, these are knock-off Star Wars jimmy jackets, cleverly named Star Condoms. Apparently they were purchased somewhere in Asia and, HELLO, I'm wearing one. "A long time ago in a galaxy for, for away..." Awesome. Just a heads up though: don't buy condoms with misspellings on the box, it indicates poor quality control. Seriously, the one I'm wearing doesn't even have a tip. Hmm, I hope I don't catch anything from this keyboard.
Star Wars Condoms [theswca]
Thanks to Toni, who I think will agree with me when I say that the only good sex is safe sex. With dinosaurs. Oh shit, and ninjas.
Sep 5 2008 Study: Sports Cars Really Do Turn Women On
Despite containing drivers with notoriously small packages, women really are turned on by exotic sports cars, according to a study recently conducted by British insurer Hiscox (!).
To test the theory that high-performance cars get people hot, Moxon had 40 men and women listen to recordings of the three Italian exotics and a Volkswagen Polo. Everyone had significantly more testosterone after hearing the exotics, and all of the women were turned on by the Maserati. The guys, on the other hand, were drawn to the Lamborghini."We saw significant peaks in the amount of testosterone in the body, particularly in women," Maxon says, noting that even women who said they had no interest in cars were turned on. "Testosterone is indicative of positive arousal in the human body so we can confidently conclude from the results out today that the roar of a luxury car engine actually does cause a primeval physiological response."
Wait a minute -- testosterone is what makes a person turned on? So what if I buy a Ferrari to impress the chicks, but then end up in a steady relationship? Will she, you know, dude-ify? Because, as the saying goes: fool me once, shame on you, but you grow a penis and this relationship is f***in' over.
Hit the jump for videos of each car so you can hear for yourself.
Continue Reading " Study: Sports Cars Really Do Turn Women On "
Sep 5 2008 Guy Ghetto Rigs License Plate Flipper
Orlando Payano is a Queens truck driver that doesn't like paying tolls. So what did he do? Simple, he jerry-rigged a license plate flipper.
Apparently, Orlando Payano mounted his license plate on a hinged piece of metal then ran an attached cable through his cigarette lighter. When he went through a toll booth, all he had to do is pull the cord and abracadabra! No license plate caught on camera.
Everything was going smoothly until a Port Authority officer spotted Payano's disappearing plate in action. Orlando has denied the existence of the cable system and insists he pays tolls with an EZ-Pass tag. Good luck arguing that to the judge, Orlando. Tip: Now's the time to start working out and/or juicing, lest you find yourself in the slammer with your own EZ-Pass tag -- on that ass.
Ghetto Disappearing License Plate Hack Rigged to Avoid Tolls [gizmodo]
Sep 5 2008 Gungan Delight: A Jar Jar Binks Salad
A Star Wars fan and culinary artist wanted to make a Star Wars-y dish, but was reluctant to eat any of the cool characters. The solution? You guessed it -- Jar Jar.
Jar Jar Binks was easily the worst thing about The Phantom Menace. If I could create a scrumptious salad out of him and serve him up with a tasty crostini, perhaps I might have my revenge.
Jicama proved to be just the right medium for my sculpture -- it's a tuberous root vegetable that is perfect for food carvings. It's crisp, cuts easily and doesn't dry out quickly. Jicama doesn't taste like much but readily absorbs the juices and flavors of a marinade or sauce.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of edible Jar Jar, including one with a knife in his head, along with a link to the DIY page. And if you do decide to make one yourself, remember: save the neck for me, Clark.
Hit it!
Sep 5 2008 Epic Failure: How Not To Parachute
This is a video of basejumper Hans Lange vampire suiting around in Norway. Everything goes smoothly until his parachute fails to deploy properly and he ends up tumbling down the mountainside until he's stopped by a tree. He caught it all on film thanks to a helmet cam. Hans, you are one lucky mother -- an improperly deployed parachute is better than no deployment at all. Seriously, I went on one of those discount skydiving adventures once, and, long story short: they pushed me out of the plane with a freaking bookbag. Thankfully, my ghost is a hell of a blogger.
Sep 5 2008 Sure, Why Not?: The Enter Doorbell
The Enterbell is just that, an Enter key doorbell. Pretty straightforward. No ess curves required to understand this one. Unfortunately, it's currently only a concept created by Li Jianye. Wait a minute -- a concept? How hard is it to glue an Enter key to a regular freaking doorbell? Not very if you don't glue your hand down your pants first (I'm typing one-handed). Seriously though, if you want an Enter doorbell, don't wait for Li, just yank a key of your choice off a coworker's keyboard and glue that puppy on. Enter key alternatives include 'Home' and 'Insert'. Or, if you're not into the whole technology thing, you could just hang a sweet knocker. Knock knock. Who's there? Enter. Enter who? Me from behind, I'm feeling kinky!
Geeky Doorbell Speaks For Itself [ohgizmo]
Sep 5 2008 Turn Your Scooter Into A Mobile Hotspot
Is your scooter just not geeky enough for you? How about turning that bad boy into a mobile hotspot?
This how-to shows building instructions for putting together a scooter that doubles as a roving wireless hotspot, GPS device, pirate radio station, and even has enough juice to amplify an electric guitar in order to play songs over the web.
Awesome! The only thing you have to watch out for, based on the look of that monster antennae, is spinal cancer. Trust me on this one, I don't break into the hospital and steal patients' meals because I'm not a doctor. I do it because I'm hungry and my wife couldn't cook to save the last living dinosaur.
Wireless scooter lets you wardrive from the fast lane [make]
via
Build yourself a scooter that doubles as a roving hotspot [dvice]
Sep 5 2008 The New Bill Gates/Jerry Seinfeld Microsoft Ad
Remember when we posted that Microsoft was finally gonna stop taking it up the Vista and combat those "Get A Mac" ads? Well here's the first one, featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. It has a shoe theme. And, while I did like the commercial, I didn't get the commercial. Is there any getting to be got? It seems like an old Seinfeld episode. Is Microsoft selling churros now?
Thanks to Terry, who has enough sense to know that big cinnamon sugar pretzels pwn churros.
Sep 5 2008 UPDATE: Now With Video And Cat Picture: Helicopters Teach Themselves To Fly, Hilarity Does Not Ensue, PEW PEW PEW Does
Mad scientists at Stanford have created helicopters that can teach themselves to fly difficult acrobatic maneuvers simply by watching another helicopter perform them. Start building that bunker.
The dazzling airshow is an important demonstration of "apprenticeship learning," in which robots learn by observing an expert, rather than by having software engineers peck away at their keyboards in an attempt to write instructions from scratch."I think the range of maneuvers they can do is by far the largest" in the autonomous helicopter field, said Eric Feron, a Georgia Tech aeronautics and astronautics professor who worked on autonomous helicopters while at MIT. "But what's more impressive is the technology that underlies this work. In a way, the machine teaches itself how to do this by watching an expert pilot fly. This is amazing."
Jesus, so all the robots need is one crazy asshole to teach them how to do something, and it's goodbye humanity. This is depressing. So, to cheer you back up, I'll tell you a funny story.
I'm working from home today and one of the cats (affectionately known as The Terrorist) won't leave me alone. He keeps trying to pull the keys off my keyboard while I type. So I lightly squeezed one of his back legs to see if it was big enough for a meal, and you know what the little Kitler did? He dribbled a little wet shit out his cookie cutter -- just to spite me. Then I had to chase the bastard around the house with a paper towel for five minutes trying to wipe it out of his fur before he sat on something. And that, dear reader, is my life. Happy lunch!
Hit the jump for a picture of the loveable little a-hole after I pawcuffed him.
UPDATE: Video added after the jump, thanks to Whitey, who's way paler than you are.
Sep 4 2008 This Is What Would Happen...
If a large meteor hit earth because Superman is dead or we couldn't blow it up like in that movie Armageddon which totally did not make me cry when I watched it.
Watch the video for death and destruction set to Pink Floyd, sweet!
CG Animation Shows What Happens When Large Meteor Hits Earth [techeblog]
Sep 4 2008 WTF!?: Crystal Embedded Contact Lenses
Ah yes, rocks and eyes. I mean, what a perfect match. Enter "Sparkle", a contact lens with tiny Swarovski crystals encrusted around the edge. I've got to admit, this has got to be the most brilliant eye-care product I've seen since pepper spray. Seriously, what could go wrong? Well, besides looking sexy. I'm gonna make myself a pair, I'll let you know how scandalously super-sexified I look.
UPDATE: Okay, so I glued some glitter and broken glass onto my regular contacts. Here goes nothing!
UPDATEDER: Wow, good thing I can type without looking, because I can't see a thing. Seriously though, how long does it take to grow a new pair? Ha, I'm talking actual ball balls now, mistook the paper shredder for a commode.
Sparkle - Swarovski studded contact lenses for blinged vision [bornrich]
Thanks Mary, and I trusted you to lead me to the bathroom. Pfft, some friend you are.
Sep 4 2008 Check Live Traffic Cams With iPhone App
Hate driving in traffic? Get a job where you don't have to commute. But for the rest of us, the ones that live 8 miles from work and spend 50 minutes getting there, there's the, uh, Metro. No wait, there's an iPhone application. Yeah, it's called Mobileyes and it can access live traffic feeds so you can see a bunch of cars sitting bumped to bumper. Now That's What I Call Hits Volume 14!
Current cities where this is available are: Detroit, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Knoxville, Los Angeles, New York, and Washington, D.C. while other cities will eventually be added. Depending on the speed of your connection the app can show low, medium or high resolution images.
Let me tell you, there's nothing safer than browsing pictures of traffic while you're driving, it just makes good sense. And you know what else does? Flying to work instead of driving. Seriously cheapass, just buy a freaking cape already.
Mobileyes iPhone App Can (Potentially) Help You Avoid Traffic [ohgizmo]
Sep 4 2008 Gun O'Clock: It's Time To Shoot Something!
The Gun O'Clock is similar in design to this alarm, and puts a new spin on the "annoying as all hell" alarm clock market. When the "Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi" alarm sounds, a target pops up and you have to shoot the bullseye enough times to stop the noise and reset the target. The $40 alarm is currently available for preorder and is sure to make getting up a lot more shooty. Or you can do what I do and do a little bedroom skeet shooting in the morning. Pull! BLAM BLAM Damn, I am the L337 shooter. Did you see that, honey? Honey? Oh shit. Quick, somebody help me flip the mattress.
Product Page
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Morning Target Practice- Gun O'clock [rinkya]
Sep 4 2008 The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway?
Remember when the Macbook Air came out with that commercial of the computer fitting in an envelope and that singer that I think I want to have sex with singing that song that's really catchy? And then how people actually started making laptop envelopes like the one in the ad so they can make a quick buck to support their drug habits? Me neither, but apparently it happened. And now there's another novelty laptop carrier on the market -- the $30 My Document!
So, we figured, why not extend that already abused metaphor by storing the device that stores your "My Documents" folder in a "My Documents" folder of its own? Behold - this neoprene laptop sleeve is big enough to snugly house your laptop, up to 15.4 inches, inside. The inner fleece lining keeps everything shiny and scratch-free. Plus, we've included the pixilated cursor-pin to ram that concept home.Guaranteed to turn heads when you pull your laptop out!
Oh man, you will seriously turn so many heads when you pull your laptop out of this bag! Twice the number if you whip your pecker out simultaneously.
Hit the jump for a few more product pictures.
Continue Reading " The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway? "
Sep 4 2008 NES Inspired Art From A Loyal Geekologist
See, being a loyal Geekologist pays off. You make something cool, and presto -- your work appears on the greatest geek website created since my dad invented this series of tubes. Geekologie reader and deviantart user =NES--stil-the-best (aka Justin) creates art based on some of his favorite classic Nintendo games. As you can see, this is a 3-D rendering of Super Mario Bros. Hit the jump for several more of these, along with a couple Legend of Zelda scenes. There are also some perfectly executed Perler bead Punch Out! and Mega Man characters. Good looking, Justin, I've always wanted to know what the original Zelda would look like in 3-D. And also, boobs -- I'm tired of staring at a damn screen. Now which one of you lovely ladies wants to make my dream come true? And then, haha, a sandwich platter? I'm being serious.
Jump off for the gallery.
Continue Reading " NES Inspired Art From A Loyal Geekologist "
Sep 4 2008 Showing Off: How Not To Win A Fight
This is how not to win a Capoeira fight. It really got me thinking -- If I'm ever in a real fistfight, I'm pretty confident my opponent will break me like the pasty little Eloi that I am. Unless, of course, I happen to be packing a taser and don't deep fry my own scallops trying to get it out of my pocket.
Thanks to Ian, who once punched a guy back to the future.
Sep 4 2008 37 Prisoners Caught Hiding Cell Phones In Their Bodies, 7 Require Surgery To Retrieve
In a story that harks back to Captain Sneakapeak and the case of the missing cameraphone, comes this story. 37 Pakistani prisoners at Camp Jail were found to be hiding cell phones in their bodies. All but seven were easily removed. The seven that didn't come out so easily were all smart phones. Those required surgery. Read: removal of the asshole. Just kidding, I don't know what they did. What I do know is I'm starting to get worried why my Bluetooth headset and charger haven't passed yet.
7 Prisoners undergo surgery to remove mobile phones from their butts [newlaunches]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who knows a guy who once snuck an entire phonebooth into jail.
Sep 3 2008 Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday
A 50-foot robotic spider, which has been sitting dormant on the side of an office building since last night, is going to come alive on Friday and destroy the everliving shit out of Liverpool.
Weighing 37 tons and standing 50ft high, the spider is currently clinging to the side of Concourse Tower in the city.
The huge insect spotted in Liverpool is in fact entirely mechanical and part of a new piece of street theater organized to mark its year as Capital of Culture.It is thought the insect will come down from its current position tomorrow and then 'wake up' on Friday before starting to explore the city.
Tens of thousands of visitors are expected in Liverpool over the three days to try and see the mechanical arachnid.
Make that tens of thousands of soon to be dead visitors. Seriously, would you rather take your chances trying to catch a glimpse of a giant robotic spider or, I dunno, live? You're still gonna go see it aren't you? Haha, I can read you like a graphic novel.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the last thing a buch of Liverpudlians will ever see.
Continue Reading " Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday "
Sep 3 2008 Woman Gets Confusing Box Of LEGO Parts
So Jenny, The Bloggess, got a box in the mail from LEGO to celebrate their anniversary or a new line or something. But when she opened the box and pieced together the parts they formed....an army of trannies! Despite a plethora of the pink dress tops and female haircuts, not a single head lacked that handsome red mustache perched suggestively over a frown. What did LEGO have to say about this?
Each kit was supposed to contain an assortment of random parts; however, it looks like yours somehow consisted only of angry mustache faces. Please know that this was not at all done intentionally or to freak anyone out in any way.
First of all, where the f*** was my box of trannies, LEGO? And secondly, I'm not so much "freaked out" as intrigued to what LEGO is secretly doing. Are they trying to teach children an important lesson about diversity and acceptance? Because that would be awesome. And, as a guy who's no stranger to trying on his girlfriend's panties while she's at work, I've got to admit: thongs make me feel sexy!
Hit the jump for a closeup so you can see them better.
Sep 3 2008 Say No To Carpal Tunnel: Bloody Stump Wrist Rests Perfect For Halloween, Zombie Decoys
Worried about developing carpal tunnel? Get a job where you don't have to type. But for the rest of us, there are wrist rests. This $15 set includes one hand and foot and is sure to get a rise out of undead coworkers. Of course, if you actually do work with zombies you should probably chop their heads off before they eat your brain. As a matter of fact, The Superficial Writer and I had to take a fire axe to the secretary just this afternoon when we caught her eating an arm.
UPDATE: Haha, it was a meatball sub. I swear, that marinara can be deceiving. Well, long story short, we called the coppers and blamed it on The Iwatchstuff Writer.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures of the gore.
Sep 3 2008 World's Strongest Magnet Being Built
Scientologists at the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Florida are building the world's most powerful magnet. When finished, the fridge rapist "will reach a power of 100 tesla when it's complete, which is a whopping 67 times more powerful than the magnets in a typical MRI." Impressive. So what do you use such a powerful magnet for? "(To) test the properties of newly discovered high-temperature superconductors like iron oxyarsenide, which may improve the performance of MRI machines and high-voltage power lines while lowering their cost." Sure, why not. I have relatives in Florida, so I'm gonna arrange a tour next time I'm down there.
UPDATE: Forgot to take the Prince Albert out first. Looks like an M-80 detonated in my pants.
Sep 3 2008 Yummy!: More Delicious Cakeologie
I know what you're thinking, "damn yo, it's about time for some more delicious fondant". Well I couldn't agree with you more. And to herald in our rubbery new overlord come these wicked cakes from Flickr user chocmocakes. As you can see, that's Rafael there, complete with fondant mask and teeth. Hit the jump for some even more amazingness, including LEGO, Venom, Dora The Exploder, a bowl of cereal and a MUST SEE Nightmare Before Christmas. I swear, I never get tired of cakes. But I do get tired of turkey. Damn you tryptophan!
Hit the jump to see the rest.
Sep 3 2008 Fun!: Child-Eating Dinosaurs At Museum
The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County has a new exhibit in which children (and those of us that refuse to grow up) can interact with living dinosaurs. And by living dinosaurs, I obviously mean a guy dressed up in a costume. Speaking of which, were any of you inappropriately touched by Goofy at Walt Disney World circa 1986? I'm trying to get a lawsuit together. Anyway, check out this dinosaur costume -- it's similar to the ones they use for that Walking With The Dinosaurs show. Long story short: it's freaking sweet and I want one. Because nothing would make me happier than donning a dinosaur suit and ravishing my neighbor's car in a fit of carnal lust. Seriously asshole, stop Jurassic Parking that lemon in front of my house.
Hit the jump for another video with a couple more dinosaurs.
Sep 3 2008 Star Trek Set Built Out Of Rice Krispie Boxes
Mmmm, looks delicious, doesn't it? Sure does. Self proclaimed Trekkie and Krispie Bob Prior built various Star Trek sets out of Rice Krispie boxes. Why? Because they're goddamn delicious, that's why.
His 50 models include the Starship Enterprise, its command bridge and captains James T Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard.
The car park attendant, who says his favorite characters are Kirk, Scotty and McCoy, took six months to put together his cardboard collection, and roped in sons Nigel, 25, and Daniel, 20.
Uh-oh, this is worse than I thought. Run away, Nigel and Daniel. Run away from your virginity! Let the old man build all the cereal ships he wants, he's already stuck eating the same brand everyday. But for you, there are still options -- Lucky Charms, Raisin Nut Bran, Cookie Crisp, and, if you swing that way, Fruity Pebbles and Honey Bunches of Nuts. The point is, taste the different flavors before it's too late! Ha, you see what I did there? I used cereal as a metaphor for being sexually promiscuous. You just got your RDA of Literary Krispies!
Hit the jump for a picture of some ships and the man himself.
Continue Reading " Star Trek Set Built Out Of Rice Krispie Boxes "
Sep 3 2008 Untooned Michael Jackson
Done in the same style of untooning as Mario and Jessica Rabbit comes Michael Jackson. In celebration of his 50th birthday, Photoshoppers set out to create a non-surgically enhanced Michael Jackson. As you can see, he looks like a handsome, middle-aged black man. And not a, uh, Geisha girl.
Michael Jackson Sans Surgery [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Tyson, who only believes in one kind of facial surgery -- boobs.
Sep 2 2008 11-Year Old Girl Field Strips And Reassembles AR-15 Rifle In Less Than A Minute
This is a video of 11-year old Mackenzie disassembling and reassembling an AR-15 in less than a minute. Her father made the video as a PSA to let any middle schoolers out there know that, if you break little Mackenzie's heart, she's gonna murder your whole family.
Once Again, We See That Girls Mature Faster Than Boys [gizmodo]
Sep 2 2008 Teddy Bear Phone Actually Being Made?
Willcom recently displayed a new phone at the 2008 Good Design Expo in Japan. But it doesn't stream classic 70's porno flicks or have a built in taser. Nope, The Kuma Phone just comes in the form factor of a teddy bear. The sick thing is the company actually wants to make the damn things, at $500 a pop.
It has a SIM card inside just like a real cell phone, and even stores four speed dial numbers, accessed through paw-squeezes. Awww. It vibrates and makes noises when you have incoming calls. When you get a call, just answer by gripping the bear's tail and end the call in the same way.
Awesome! One time I dropped a bunch of acid on a camping trip and a squirrel spoke to me. You know what the old and wise Rococo The Acorn Eater said? He said, "the meaning of life lies within the bear's nads". So, by deduction, the meaning of life is either monster testicles or, uh, cell phone parts.
Teddy Bear concept phone is just wrong [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who once spoke into a Grizzly's balls and can now levitate and turn invisible at will.
Sep 2 2008 $173,000: Microsoft Sunglasses For Sale
Need a new pair of sunglasses? Looking for an 80's pair that screams "I love Microsoft and don't care if I look like Billy Joel's grundle"?
What you're seeing is the only pair of 1980's Hot Green Microsoft sunglasses around! A reliable source said these were only given to a handful of employees and every pair has been broken or lost over time... Except for these! These sunglasses were in use while Microsoft Office (word, excel, etc) was created and released! These bright sunglasses were the reason for many bright attitudes during the rise of Microsoft, and those bright attitudes might be the only reason for Microsoft's success. These hot green shades were making a fashion statement on a desk at Microsoft while stocks split and and the company developed! These magical sunglasses deserve thanks for many things, without them the world might not have developed into the world we know and love today. Enough can't be said about the history and importance of these very special sunglasses.
Yep. Bidding starts at $173,000 and the auction ends in 12 hours, so you better get on it. Or, if you want, I'll sell you an iconic Apple hat. It's a real apple hot-glued to a Red Sox cap! Use the 'Buy It Now' option and I'll throw in a watermelon bong. I'm a fruit freak!
Hit the jump for two more pictures (in case you don't know what $0.60 80's glasses look like) and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " $173,000: Microsoft Sunglasses For Sale "
Sep 2 2008 Highly Questionable: The DJ Mobile
The DJ Mobile was built by Dutch artist Olaf Mooij and looks like the lovechild of a subcompact that f***ed a rocketship. The deafening piece was inspired by a song called "God is a DJ" and the Pope-mobile. I'd prefer the bulletproof bubble myself, but I have a lot of enemies. Unfortunately, the DJ mobile isn't meant to be used while driving, making it infinitely less cool than I originally imagined. Which, if you want to get all scientifical, wasn't even cool. Still, I would pour sugar in the gas tank.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the eardrum popper.
Sep 2 2008 I Am 8-Bit Art Exhibit: Works For Sale
There's an art exhibit running in Hollywood until September 7th entitled "I Am 8-Bit" that features a bunch of old school gaming inspired art. If you're in the area you might want to check it out at: Wonder Storefront Gallery, 6650 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA. But if you can't make it, all the pieces are available for sale online. The originals are fetching over a grand, but there are a couple prints (including a wicked Link/Gannon) for $100. Hit the jump to see some of my favorites, along with a link to both the show gallery and print sale page. Let's face it, there just isn't anything cooler than 8-bit gaming art. Well, besides 4-bit gaming art. ZOMG I'm so oldschool!
Hit it.
Sep 2 2008 Dad's Cab Racks Up Chore Fares For Toting Your Ungrateful Children Around Town
If you're anything like me you made the mistake of getting your girlfriend pregnant because she told you she was a millionaire. And now you're stuck with two (she told me she was worth at least $500,000 the second time) ungrateful teenagers that want to go to the mall everyday or over to their friend's house to do drugs and/or have sex. Enter Dad's Cab, an $18 clock that looks like a taxi meter. You just slap that mother to the dash with adhesive tape, load up the kids, and then drive them wherever they demand. Then, when you're slowing down to 25MPH so they can roll out, you toss a fare card out the window. Fares include "Bring me a mug of tea an the paper on the weekend", "Wash, wax, and vacuum my car", "Let daddy get drunk in front of the TV for the night", "Stop stealing my beer", "Get a freaking job", and "Run away from home".
Geez, whatever happened to using public transportation? When I was a kid, there was no asking my parents for a ride. They'd just pin a note to my shirt with my destination printed on it and send me off to the bus stop. And that, dear reader, is how I was kidnapped by a one-eyed prostitute.
Dad's cab, a taxi meter for your social butterfly kids [dvice]
Thanks Julia tripped on whiskey, we should get together and do that sometime.
Sep 2 2008 Ants Build Nest In Couple's Home Scanner
Some guy's wife called him to tell him she was having problems with their home printer/scanner. And, even after walking her through how to push the power button, it still didn't work. Finally, the guy comes home and opens the scanner bed. Hello ant colony! You know, I think we can all learn an important lesson from this couple's loss. And that lesson is this: No matter how delicious they may look, you just shouldn't scan sandwiches.
Thanks to Mr Tom, who has ants in his pants and loves the way it feels.
Sep 2 2008 Google Chrome Beta Dropping Today
Google, in its attempt to dominate all markets, is launching a line of automotive rims today, Google Chrome. I didn't really read the article, but I'm sure they're expensive and we'll see them in rap videos.
EDIT: Ha, turns out Google Chrome is a web browser.
On the surface, we designed a browser window that is streamlined and simple. To most people, it isn't the browser that matters. It's only a tool to run the important stuff -- the pages, sites and applications that make up the web. Like the classic Google homepage, Google Chrome is clean and fast. It gets out of your way and gets you where you want to go.
Under the hood, we were able to build the foundation of a browser that runs today's complex web applications much better. By keeping each tab in an isolated "sandbox", we were able to prevent one tab from crashing another and provide improved protection from rogue sites. We improved speed and responsiveness across the board. We also built a more powerful JavaScript engine, V8, to power the next generation of web applications that aren't even possible in today's browsers.
Sure, okay, but why did they call it chrome?
We named the program Chrome because The Geekologie Writer posted a sweet-ass chromed Lamborghini last week and that shit was dope. Also, Icewolf sounded stupid.
Icewolf sounded stupid? You people are crazy. That's the awesomest freaking name I've heard in a while.
- The Geekologie "Icewolf" Writer
A fresh take on the browser [googleblog]
Thanks to George and Austin, who don't need web browsers because the web browses them.
Sep 1 2008 Labor Day: Doing As Little As Possible
Happy Labor Dabor Day! Now don't let me catch any of you working. That especially goes for any police officers in the area -- I'm gonna rob a bank!
UPDATE: Haha, banks are closed on Labor Day. Oh well, on to plan B.
UPDASTE: miSISON ACCOMlplished! ILove yous !! Ssee yuou tommorrow11