Aug 7 2008Seriously, What Could Go Wrong?: United States Military To Be 30% Robotic By 2020


The U.S. military has a goal -- that it's 30% robotic in twelve years. Why? Because robots don't feel pain, and when they die you just solder them back together or build a bitchin' chair out of the scrap metal.

While advances in robot technology will probably result in more radical robot designs and allow for the military's goal of a 30-percent robotic force, there will always be human involvement in the control process. Researcher Bill Smart had this to say about our future robot army:

"It's a chain of command thing. You don't want to give autonomy to a weapons delivery system. You don't want the robot to make the wrong decision."

Wow, somebody actually talking some sense for once. Clever, Bill. Or should I say smart? Get it? Because that's your last name. No, I'm not making fun of you. Jesus, it was a compliment you jackass.

Anyway, this whole human vs. robot for control of weapons systems is a real Catch 22 (love you Joseph). On the one hand, you don't want robots to have any control over anything, because all they want to do is kill us all and have oily robotic orgies. But on the other hand, you put a man in front of a giant red button that reads "DO NOT PUSH, THE WORLD WILL END" and 9 times out of 10 -- as soon as nobody's watching -- he's got his pants around his ankles and is mashing that thing with his dick like candy's gonna rain from the sky.

U.S. Military To Be 30 Percent Robotic In Twelve Years [io9]

Thanks to Karilyn, whose radiant beauty had originally distracted me from giving her credit for the tip.

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Reader Comments


In your face Skynet!

"he's got his pants around his ankles and is mashing that thing with his dick like candy's gonna rain from the sky."

Now THAT'S a visual I'd like to see! But only if its the geekologie writer...
...Wait. What?!

DickSmash 2010!!


That picture looks like one of the robots they used to have on the discovery channel, where they'd do battle with each other. What ever happened to that show anyway? It's awesome, and a lot of them can get hired by the military, get a good paycheck, endless funds, and a shit ton of good times. In any case, I guess it's better than sending humans, as having human casualties is really bad, but robots...not bad

(note: if I'm killed first by a machine during the robot's because of what I said).

I love robots, I can't wait until I can become a cyborg.

At 6, wouldn't it be great if we had robots driving around hitting our enemies with hammers, buzz saws, and axes?

*Zoidberg voice* Beware the Robuts!

#8: not quite where I was going with that...

10: I wasn't being serious, of course. Joke idea was a joke.

say NO to robots! YES to human controlled mechs! ITSA GUNDAMMMMMM!!!!


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#12 I seriously hope to see the day....

Finally, soon we will have terminators killing us

If you own the robots, it's great, you can kill and not get killed back! On the other hand . . .

its the 70 percent non robotic that still has the evil computers that secretly run the world worried. if they can`t be relied on to subdue a country robots will just have to step in.

We can't judge a person by what he says but by what he does.

I really think that the millitery should be 50% tehcnoligy and i think thats very nich and i would like to met some of you guys in person.

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