Aug 29 2008Exemplary Parenting: A Grand Theft Auto Cake For Your 4-Year Old. Oh Man, Please Tell Me A Stripper Jumped Out Of It!

san-andreas-cake.jpg

What better way is there to celebrate Lil Derrick's 4th birthday than with a violence packed video game and a couple strippers? Exactly, none. But seeing how GTA: San Andreas came out a while ago, I imagine Lil Derrick is probably a little older now. So, from all of us here at Geekologie (just me): Happy 7th Birthday Derrkick, I sent you a cake in juvie. Oh, and there's a surprise inside. Hint: It's a knife. It's your birthday, get stabby!

I Believe the Children are Our Future [cakewrecks]

Thanks to Nils, who baked a handgun cake for his son's 4th birthday because, damnit, the man knows good parenting.

Related Stories
Reader Comments

that's EXPERT parenting for you

The dollar bills on that cake are more than my annual salary :(
but on the upside, when Lil' Derrick grows up, he can mug me for my $.45 SSI check...

dumb...

Thanks, Lil' Derrick's mom and dad (or crazy aunt Jewels who had to take custody because both Derrick's parent's OD'd on meth) for providing my kids future with another "gangsta' g-thug cheese grilling apprentice to all those bad ass nigga's poppin caps and f***in the fat chicks" roll model for him to look up to and idolize. Much love mom and dad, much love...

Somewhere along the path of life these parents are gonna wonder just how li'l junior ended up un juvie by age of 10. Or not. The guy on the left looks like he's sporting one huge boner, though. That's kinda hot.

A new entry for the stupidest parents of year award!

Well obviously he's got a major hard-on! Look at all the money he's got. You know what that means? It's time to become a real man and what better way than a trip to the ole strippin' pole and then getting a happy ending after... Our little Derrick is all grown up... next stop juvie!

Guess the parents missed the Rating on the game. Yet they still get on the news and talk shit about how games make kids violent. Read the damn rating.

best line in a Geekologie post ever: "It's your birthday, get stabby."

I can't wait for Playboy clothes to come out for infants...

Am I not cool for getting my 4 year old a "Diego" cake?
I know. I suck. How dare I allow my children playing games and watching shows that is suitable for their age!! Someone call Chilren's Aid on me! Im not raising them right!!
pfft

Good, but now I want a GTA 4 cake, to appeal to my Slovak nature. Bohyňa víťazstva!

Damn. Shoulda just got him a stripper.

I knew some body named Justin and when he was a baby his first words were f*CK and he said it all the time and his parents thought it was the cutest thing they ever saw.

I know allot of parents that raise their children to do what ever they want. Thinking that's the best way to raise them. Then spoiling them with whatever they want.

I know kids that are spoiled brats that never are satisfied so they end up older going around and sleeping with every girl/ guy they see. They use people and they don't see the value of things. I know allot of kids that have grown up this way not knowing what responsibility is. I have learned from watching these kids I've grown up with that I will never do that to my kids.

They will never be old enough to curse, smoke, drink, or sleep around with who ever they want. I have met my soulmate who stands firmly on morals and principles as I do. There are a billion ways to have fun without allowing profane, violent, grotesque, innuendos.

I know that my kids are going to be well educated, athletic, have a great sense of humor. They will never have depression and loose focus of family. They will meet their soulmates and have kids of their own and be happy and live fruitful.


@14

probably the wrong place to explain all that. about 86.3% of the people are here because they think "dick and fart," jokes are funny.

P.S. My kids will probably grow up to sell drugs to your kids. At a substantial mark up.

Getting off-topic a bit here, but @14: Never say your children will never have depression because they'll be raised right or whatever. Depression can affected people who would seem to be the most well-balanced people in the world, and your attitude insinuates blame for depression always lies with the individual or their social environment. Not always so.

THe IT guy at work showed me this a few weeks ago...

great parenting there, top notch!

this is just more of what has become the norm. Sure that cake is funny, but it has become common place to fill our kids heads with this type of inappropriate crap at such a young age that they learn that it is OK to think this stuff is positive. We are as much at fault for these negative images as the TV channels and movies since we allow it in our homes.

---
Blog Disgusted at http://www.PoliticalDisgust.com

F*** you #14. F*** off. F***ing stupid f***. You're all a bunch of f***s.

F***!

That cake was delicious. I'll come back to post pictures of the gun mom and dad bought me to go along with my birthday cake. My parents aren't bad people. They didn't give me bullets. They keep them on the third highest shelf in their closet. How the hell am I supposed to reach them?? Well I don't know the answer to that, but I'm going to figure it out.

UPDATE: used a broom to knock em down. Shot my parents. Mmmmmm... cake.

Lucky lil bastard. That's sweet!

@Amy- good luck with that - sincerely. Might want to curb the judgementalism though.

UPDATE- Derrick mugged me, then laughed at me because his cake had more money on it than I would be able to spend on a cake... *cry*

Thumper, just to clarify, the Amy who commented at #16 and myself are two different people.

Dang it. I hate confusion. Derrick, stop making fun if people who are cake deprived. Go to your room and play Gears of War until I say you can come out. That'll teach ya.

Ha thts my name

Why do y'all have to be so judgemental?! I'm just giving my kid what he wants so he can be happy. Ain't that what good parenting is about? I spose next yer gonna bitch about the bb gun and pet boa we gave him last year. now where did that damn boa go? Derrick?!

whats funny is that everyone thinks the 4 yr old even wanted the cake. It was obviously the retarded parents idea. People forget GTA is made to appeal to young adults , I doubt the 4 yr old has ever really played the game with any idea what he was doing. Its the parents who own and love the game.

I'd bet hard money that it was a joke.

That cake looks expensive.. probably shouldn't have wasted their welfare check on it though

Will is power.

Post a Comment

Please keep your comments relevant to the post. Inappropriate or promotional comments may be removed. Email addresses are required to confirm comments but will never be displayed. To create a link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments.