Aug 29 2008 Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String
WARNING: the gallery after the jump is probably NSFW.
What is that, a hair band? Nope, it's underwear -- a C-string. The misnamed C-string doesn't actually have any straps, it's kept on by hugging the vagina and buttcrack. Now that's sexy talk.
C-String has a flexible internal frame that hugs and holds it to the body both securely and comfortably. Your modesty remains safely covered at all times. At the front it looks like sexy underwear, to the rear it has a thong-style strip, and to the sides it has nothing at all!
Wow, this is best thing to happen to underwear since not wearing any. Each vagina-band costs about $26 and is guaranteed to turn heads. And, also, my shoe camera.
Hit the jump for a NSFW Labor Day Weekend C-String Picture Extravaganza!
UPDATE: Added a German video about the C-string with funny subtitles.
Continue Reading " Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String "
Aug 29 2008 Recreating The Mona Lisa In Less Than A Second....With A 1,100 Barrel Paintball Gun
In a demonstration at Nvidia's NVISION show, the Mythbusters used paintball guns to illustrate the difference between current CPUs and future GPUs. The CPU's stand in was a single paintball gun that repositioned itself after every shot in order create a picture. But the GPU was represented by an 1,100 barrel gun, which paints the entire Mona Lisa in a single blast. You can watch the first one if you want, but I'd just skip to about 1:30, when they unveil the real nasty mother. And don't miss the last 10 seconds of the clip, because they replay the shot in slow motion, and it's freaking crazy. Which, incidentally, so am I. Just don't tell her I called her that, she'd get pissed.
Mythbusters Build a 1100-Barrel Paintball Gun to Paint the Mona Lisa, Instantly [gizmodo]
Thanks to Kezzzs and Dan, who once painted the town red with alcohol in less than 5 hours, but both lost shoes.
Aug 29 2008 Exemplary Parenting: A Grand Theft Auto Cake For Your 4-Year Old. Oh Man, Please Tell Me A Stripper Jumped Out Of It!
What better way is there to celebrate Lil Derrick's 4th birthday than with a violence packed video game and a couple strippers? Exactly, none. But seeing how GTA: San Andreas came out a while ago, I imagine Lil Derrick is probably a little older now. So, from all of us here at Geekologie (just me): Happy 7th Birthday Derrkick, I sent you a cake in juvie. Oh, and there's a surprise inside. Hint: It's a knife. It's your birthday, get stabby!
I Believe the Children are Our Future [cakewrecks]
Thanks to Nils, who baked a handgun cake for his son's 4th birthday because, damnit, the man knows good parenting.
Aug 29 2008 Guy Makes Full Size Driveable Landspeeder
Daniel Deutsch went and built himself a 1:1 scale replica of the Star Wars Landspeeder that looks so good, I swear it's been shopped. But allegedly I'm wrong, and the vehicle has "a custom aluminum chassis, fiberglass body, and an electric drive system that hits lightspeed at 25 mph." Freaking sweet! Now you know what they say, "The Vette gets 'em wet, but the Landspeeder, well, the Landspeeder dries 'em out while they make fun of you." Awesome!
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the unbelievably accurate and good looking speeder, including a couple of the build.
Continue Reading " Guy Makes Full Size Driveable Landspeeder "
Aug 29 2008 Cyber Clean Cleans Electronics, Tastes Great
Cyber Clean looks like, wait, is a slimeball and cleans your electronics. You just take the $8 Play-Doh, mash it into your keyboard, digital camera, phone, taint, etc. and then remove. Presto, clean and germ free! I just got a sample, I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: j 09ctju j0954iy[ 0]kt [p9i34poi 34po]i0-] ln p;7816e6 erw761ew 786er w34[io pjkofp[i[12r c x213t43v2gv45 n67un,87m.8 0/-[=]/9+281708+ oi;jmio;im,,m
Keyboard's clean!
Cyber Clean cleansing goop: 'I press it on, and the mess is gone!' [dvice]
Aug 29 2008 Steve Jobs's Obituary Accidentally Published
For those of you who haven't heard, Steve Jobs's 17-page prewritten obituary was accidentally published when somebody at Bloomberg chose the wrong button after some routine updating to the information. Woops. You can read the whole thing after the jump, it's nice and wordy and names Jobs as Apple Co-Founder and Arbiter of Cool Technology. Bitchin' title! You know, this story really got me thinking -- what will people say about me when I'm dead? You think I'll get 17 pages?
FUTURE UPDATE:
Geekologie Writer, Writer of Technology, Penises, 39
The Geekologie Riter was a monster freaking asshole. Thankfully, now he's a ded one.
Wow, fourteen words and two misspellings. I'm killing myself.
Hit it to read all the amazing things Jobs has done.
Continue Reading " Steve Jobs's Obituary Accidentally Published "
Aug 29 2008 Man Sells Last Respect For George Lucas
A man is selling his last respect for George Lucas on eBay, in the form of a Darth Maul figure.
Because this Darth Maul represented my faith in George Lucas (it was bought back in the heady days of 1999 when the words Star and Wars still brought to mind childhood dreams and wonderment), you are also bidding on the last morsels of respect I have for the once all-powerful, formally infallible bearded wonder. If you must know, the use of the woeful Wookie 'Tarzan' cry in Revenge of the Sith is the straw that broke the Bantha's back. It was almost unforgivable in Return of the Jedi, but to have it featured again in Episode 3 was just ridiculously [expletive] STUPID!
I've made so many excuses for George in the past - even to the point of suggesting that Jar Jar would be bearable if he spoke in an alien language with subtitles - but after witnessing the CGI monkeys and gophers in Indiana Jones and the UFOs, I've got nothing left for him (except for what this Darth Maul represents)... And to think of the rabid, blind hope I had towards the end of the 90s before I entered the cinema to see Episode 1...
Bidding starts at $10 Australian, but since the seller is a loyal Geekologie reader, he'll accept an old NES cartridge or a naked picture of....well, anything.
Thanks Porl, I want half of whatever you get. I call left boob if it's a nudey pic.
Aug 29 2008 Is This A Swedish Sea Monster?
I dunno, it kind of looks like a rectangle humping a tapeworm.
A group of filmmakers claim to have successfully captured Sweden's legendary Great Lake Sea Monster (Storsjöodjuret), which is said to lurk in the waters of the Storsjön outside Östersund in northern Sweden.
"It clearly shows that it's warm and is made up of cells, otherwise our cameras wouldn't indicate red, so it can be a sea snake or some other kind of sea animal," said a female member of the film crew to Sveriges Television news in Jämtland.The effort to find the monster has generated a great deal of interest, with the American television network NBC planning to document the hunt.
Boy are they in for a surprise. You see, the Great Lake Sea Monster is actually SPOILER ALERT: my penis. I guess he wasn't joking when he said he was packing the balls and moving to Sweden. Wait, then what's....
UPDATE: An ear of baby corn.
Hit the jump for a video news report in Swedish.
Aug 28 2008 A Chrome Lamborghini: Sure To Turn Heads, Blind Other Motorists And Cause Accidents
First the gold Porsche, then the Burberry Maserati and chrome Ferrari, and now, another chrome-dome, but this time a Lamborghini Murcielgo LP640. And it's for sale here if you want it, but it'll set you back around 622,000 coconuts. Which, if you were the professor, would make one helluva lot of radios. And speaking of coconuts, fun fact: coconut milk, despite its name, doesn't come from a woman's teat. Long story short: my girlfriend tricked me into getting her pregnant.
Hit the jump for several more of the shiny speed demon.
Aug 28 2008 Internet Explorer 8 To Feature 'Porn Mode'
Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8 (now out for beta testing) will feature a 'porn mode', aka InPrivate, similar to Safari's 'Private Browsing' feature.
The new InPrivate feature on Internet Explorer 8 -- now in Beta release, and dubbed by many in the Web development community as "porn mode," a nod to its most obvious use -- when enabled automatically conceals sites visited by wiping clean browsing and search history, cookies, form data and passwords. It also clears the browser cache at the end of each session.
Once the setting is chosen, others using the same computer will not be able to see which sites have been accessed, the company said. Other browsers have similar functions, but this one is far more prominent. Although casual users cannot see the previous user's search history, authorities such as the police will be able to access it if necessary.
Man, I don't know. My girlfriend is pretty damn computer savvy. If the cops can get at, she already has. Which means she's probably on to my secret ROTFLBDSM fetish and is itching to stomp my balls to mush in red stilettos.
Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 to Include So-Called 'Porn Mode' Privacy Feature [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan, who's smart enough to know that watching porn together is an important part of any healthy relationship (excluding relatives and pets).
Aug 28 2008 Zero Carbon Footprint: The Solar Ice Maker
It may look like a funhouse mirror and potato gun, but this sucker is actually a solar powered ice maker that requires no electricity, and can produce 14 lbs of ice per day.
It works like this: the solar icemaker uses a refrigerant liquid that evaporates when exposed to the sun. The vapor travels through pipes that come into contact an absorbent material, which cools when the sun goes down. Once the slow-cooling absorbent hits 104°F, the refrigerant turns back into a liquid and its temperature drops like a rock to below freezing because of pressure differences. Put some water next to the evaporator's exterior and, presto, ice.
Awesome. I love ice. But you know what I love even more? Refrigerant. Shit's better than Kool-Aid. Plus you don't have to worry about that big red bastard "Oh Yeah!"ing his fat ass through the side of your house.
Solar icemaker: get the sun to keep things cool for a change [dvice]
Aug 28 2008 Another Day, Another Winged Cat
Another day, another cat sprouts wings.
A tabby from the Qingyan province in China recently sprouted a pair of fur-covered wings on his back during a hot-weather spell, the U.K.'s Daily Mail reported.
One cat owner, identified only as Feng, claimed her pet's wings were the result of stress from too many females desiring to mate with him, the Mail reported.
F***, now I'll never grow wings.
Hit the jump for a picture of Feng's winged cat (a different one) from a while ago, and a link to its story.
Aug 28 2008 These Hilarious Star Wars T-Shirts Are Sure To Get Fangirls To Touch Your Saber
Just kidding. I do like them though. This one here, the Jedi EcoSaber is available in 22 different colors and costs $26 or $29 depending on if you want long sleeves or not. Hit the jump for another one with a crashed TIE Fighter Advanced x1 and Darth Vader escaping on an inflatable slide, possibly into a Dagobah swamp. Although I don't see Luke running around with that creepy green puppet on his back, so who knows.
Hit it to see the other.
Continue Reading " These Hilarious Star Wars T-Shirts Are Sure To Get Fangirls To Touch Your Saber "
Aug 28 2008 USB Hub + Torn Up Graduation Gown = USB Hub Monster, Kids Afraid Of The Computer
Want to make your own USB Hub Monster? It doesn't look very hard. You just take a regular hub, add a bunch of USB cables with armature wire taped to them, and then tear up the college graduation gown you keep in the closet but break out every year during graduation and wear to the bars to score free drinks, tear that sucker up, wrap the hub and legs, and presto: a, um, USB Hub Monster! Add red LED eyes for a real monster-y effect. Or, add some beef flavor to make it something your dog will tear up, like it wasn't going to anyways.
Hit the jump for one more picture of the monster in use.
Aug 28 2008 Politically Incorrect: Slamming DNC Protester
I swear, some of you really love yourselves some brutality. This is a potentially NSFW video of a CodePink protester getting slammed to the ground by police at the Democratic National Convention. It's kind of graphic, and contains profanity. A police officer is telling protesters to "back it up", then you hear the woman say something like "f*cking do it again" and then the copper comes back with a "back it up, bitch!" and a slam to the ground. I don't really know what to say, except the last time an officer of the law pushed me he got a baton enema. Oh, and violence is not the answer. The answer, my friends, is C. Go on, fill in the little bubble. Ha, no, C is the third bubble, not the second one.
Youtube
Thanks David and Tom, may no man wielding a stick ever push you to the ground.
Aug 28 2008 WWJD?: Probably Not Play Guitar Praise
Guitar Praise: Solid Rock is a Guitar Hero rip-off available next month for $100. It will only be available for PC and Mac though, so you'll have to talk your PS3 or 360 into converting. How do you play?
Two guitars can be connected at the same time, so two guitarists can play together - either on the same track or one on lead, the other on bass. Players press the fret buttons and strum on the strum bar in time to the color-coded notes as they scroll onscreen.
Sounds original. The game comes loaded with Christian favorites like Jesus Is My Drinking Buddy and I Wanna Roundhouse The Devil In The Gooch. And who can forget that Christmas favorite Santa, You Fat Bastard, You Ate All The Cookies Now Where The F*** Are My Video Games? It's available for pre-order now, but that's not what Jesus would do. Jesus would wait to read some reviews and then steal it from Wal-Mart. Trust me, I went to Sunday school.
Guitar Praise - Knocking Off Guitar Hero.. For Jesus [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian and Sam, who have both met Jesus at rock concerts.
Aug 27 2008 Grown Man Builds LEGO Boba Fett Costume
Simon, a grown-ass man, went and built himself a full Boba Fett costume out of LEGO pieces. As you can see, it's pretty damn impressive. Right up there with that little kid's cardboard Halo arsenal. Hit the jump for a bunch more of Simon and his costume, along with a Vader version he made as well. Uh-oh -- I just had the most brilliant idea ever.
Introducing the First Annual Geekologie LEGO Leia's Golden Bikini Contest! Full rules follow.
1. Contestants must construct and model a LEGO Golden Bikini
2. Digital photo required in entry
3. Must be holding a sign that reads "Geekologie" or "I Love You Geekologie Writer, I Want To Have Your Babies But Know You Don't Want Kids Right Now And I'm Totally Cool With That" or something similar so I know it's for the contest
4. No dudes
5. Hey you -- the guy that thought it would be funny to still enter anyways: stop.
6. LEGO pieces optional
7. Bikini optional
8. Naked photos only
Contest ends when I feel like it. Winners will be notified by personal stripper-gram. Your choice: fireman or police officer, I play both equally well.
Hit it for the photos.
Continue Reading " Grown Man Builds LEGO Boba Fett Costume "
Aug 27 2008 Robotic Legs Allow Paraplegics To Walk
Amit Goffer, who was paralyed in a 1997 accident, has invented ReWalk, which gives paraplegics the chance to walk again. Unfortunately, Goffer can't use the system himself, as it requires the use of your arms, which he doesn't have full use of.
The system, which requires crutches to help with balance, consists of motorized leg supports, body sensors and a back pack containing a computerized control box and rechargeable batteries.
The user picks a setting with a remote control wrist band -- stand, sit, walk, descend or climb -- and then leans forward, activating the body sensors and setting the robotic legs in motion."It raises people out of their wheelchair and lets them stand up straight," Goffer said. "It's not just about health, it's also about dignity."
Damn, that's probably the awesomest thing I've heard all day. Good looking, Goffer. I just hope these things don't fall into the hands of the non-paralyzed, lest they build a superhuman army.
Again, awesome. Hit the jump for three more pictures, the second of which is Goffer himself.
Aug 27 2008 Tokyoflash's Latest Wristwear: The Rogue
The Rogue is a watch that, when worn, lets others know you're chock full of bad-assery. And, quite possibly, bionic innards. The $155 watch comes in both black and silver, and is sure to turn heads and drop panties. So, how do you read it?
Once mastered, navigating the time is simple, but creates a sense of mystique to the uninformed. The outer ring of small dots represents minutes, every fifth dot being slightly smaller to distinguish five minute groups. The ring of large blocks represents rough minutes, the position of the gap indicating approximate minutes. The inner ring of blocks represents hours, the position of the gap in the ring showing the current hour as on a clock face.
Perfect sense. But I'm just going to tell everybody it's a miniature radar anyways. A dork-dar if a guy asks, but a poon-dar if it's a sexy lady. Because women really like it when you refer to their nether regions as "poon". As in "I'm trying to get some poon on my pudding spoon". Oh man, they love that one. Trust me, I'm a podiatrist.
Hit the jump for a picture of the watch in silver, and a graphic that helps explain how to read the time.
Continue Reading " Tokyoflash's Latest Wristwear: The Rogue "
Aug 27 2008 The Crayola EZ Type: This Isn't Your Kid's Keyboard. Ha, Just Kidding, It Totally Is
The $30 Crayola EZ Type USB Keyboard is a great way to get youngsters familiar with colors, and also, important computer skills that will benefit them throughout their adult lives. Namely, surfing interweb porno. And, to make it even easier for the tykes, Crayola appears to have added a "Porn" key, right above the directional pad. I mean, it's got to be real, it's right there in the picture. What? Photoshop? Like a place that develops film? Never heard of it.
Joel's next keyboard: Crayola EZ Type [bbgadgets]
Aug 27 2008 Hacked! USB Drive Will Befuddle Onlookers!
The Hacked! USB Drive is actually a 2GB flash drive that just looks like a frayed USB cable. ZOMG, people will look at that and be so confused! The only thing that could make it better is if, instead of a frayed USB cable, it was a real severed arm complete with tattoos and 4GB of storage. Imagine the looks you'd get with that hanging out the side of your laptop! Looks like "OMG, I'm calling the police!" and "bitchin' ink." Or, from the zombies, "I want a byte."
Hacked! USB Drive Guarantees Worried Stares From Passerbys [ohgizmo]
Thanks Beezy, you haven't seen my hacksaw lying around, have you?
Aug 27 2008 This Is What Happens...
When the CERN Large Hadron Collider starts crashing particles into shit next month. I can hardly wait!
Hit the jump for a highly questionable (yet informative) video of some chick singing a rap song about the collider.
Aug 27 2008 BEEP BOOP BEEP: Ultra-Rare R2-D2 Fridge
This R2-D2 fridge, one of only 1,000 given away at Japanese 7-11's back in 2002 as a promotional prize for when Attack of the Bones came out, is now for sale by ToyEast. The trashcanny droid can both cool and heat your meat, but asking price is a staggering $1,070. So yeah, a little out of my price range. But I did just call up a Jawa buddy of mine and told him I'd pay upwards of $40 for one in good condition. Then I threatened to gouge those glowing eyes right out of his freaking head if he doesn't make it happen. Shifty little bastard stole my toaster once.
Hit the jump for one more picture of the handsome devil.
Continue Reading " BEEP BOOP BEEP: Ultra-Rare R2-D2 Fridge "
Aug 27 2008 Game De-makes: BioShock For Gameboy
The Pixelation forum ran a contest for users to create screenshots of what modern games would look like on the Gameboy. As you can see, that's BioShock, and there's a pretty good Twilight Princess and Guitar Hero after the jump. The board's current contest is to make your own Mega Man level, within the color and graphic limitations of the original NES games. Pretty neat stuff, and there's definitely a good amount of talent out there. Check it out and give it a go if it's your cup of tea. If it's my cup of tea, slip in a roofie when I go to the bathroom. I'm trying to get crunked.
Hit it for the other two mock-ups.
Aug 26 2008 How To Slow Down Speeders In China
This is how local authorities decided to combat speeders on the Jing Zhuang highway in ShanXi province, China: with two 100 foot long, 2 foot high barriers that require motorists to slow down and wind their way through the passage. Hey, you know what else discourages speeders? Cutting their brake lines. Because then they can only go as fast as they feel comfortable hitting a tree. My wife sure as hell doesn't speed anymore. Or even drive for that matter. You see, she's dead. *sobbing*And the sad part is *sniffle* I hate cooking for myself.
Jump for one more picture of the foolproof anti-speeding deterrent.
Aug 26 2008 Racing Across Azeroth In Real Life
Two guys made rigs that turns running on treadmills into their characters actually running through Azeroth. They made them by attaching a bike wheel with an optical mousepad and mouse to the treadmills. It's estimated that characters in the game run around 12MPH, but since the two didn't want to have simultaneous heart attacks, they rigged the system to only have to run 6MPH themselves for their characters to reach that 12MPH top speed. How did it work out? You'll have to watch the video after the jump to find out. But suffice it to say that even running at a paltry 6MPH, they were both dangerously close to myocardial infarctions. I hope all of you WoW players out there learn a valuable lesson from this. One about the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the race.
Aug 26 2008 Guy Builds Sons, Self A Wicked Treehouse
Steve Norris, vying for a Father Of The Year award, built an awesome treehouse for his two sons in a 58-year old silver maple.
It's equipped with electricity and cable TV. There's an intercom so Norris can talk to his kids if they're having a sleepover, and a urinal that drains into a pail beneath the structure.A smoke detector is wired to the house, so family members can be alerted to any smoke, whether they're in the treehouse or not. A revolving light clicks on when the treehouse's trap door opens (where a rope ladder drops down).
The roof is sealed and welded on tight, and the floor is sturdy enough to hold an adult. Stephen sleeps in a loft bed, Ryan on a mini-futon and their father on a pull-down bed.
Haha, you got a smoke detector in your treehouse. Seriously though kids, I'm sure you could still smoke pot in there. Norris figures he put about $5,000 into the fort, and has it insured for $20,000 in case the market goes sour and he needs to burn it down and collect.
Norris wants to see his sons grow up with the treehouse, which he thinks will last about 15 years. "We're planted here now," he said.
ZOMG, planted, too funny! Make like a tree and get out of here!
Treehouse is envy of neighborhood [therecord]
Thanks to Brad, who was building a treemansion when it got hit by a tornado and carried to Oz, where he had the opportunity to bang a bunch of Munchkins, but declined.
Aug 26 2008 Move Over, Goblin Shark: Robots Are Scarier
I told you. I told you robots would kill us all. This is a clip from a new BBC show, The Wrong Door, which is about robots and how much they want to hurt us. And speaking of the wrong door, I accidentally opened my roommate's after grabbing a snack in the middle of the night. Hello anime comic, hello penis in hand! Hello awkward silence, lifelong scarring, new roommate wanted ad.
The Wrong Door: If Terry Gilliam Directed Transformers as a TV Variety Show [gizmodo]
Aug 26 2008 Awesome: Woman Makes Cheap Solar Cells With Pizza Oven, Nail Polish, Inkjet Printer
Nicole Keupper, the hottie scientist seen above, somehow managed to make cheap solar cells with a pizza oven, nail polish, and inkjet printers. The feat won her two Australian Eureka Prizes, Australia's top science award, and, possibly, something to do with vacuums. Anyway, there's hope that the new cheap solar cells will make renewable energy a reality for developing and developed countries alike. And while I couldn't find out exactly how the cells are made, I have a pretty good idea. First, Nicole does her nails -- something to attract attention, but not too whorish, a subtle pink. Next, she gobbles a large cheese pizza, possibly with mushrooms and black olives. Lastly, she prints a solar cell. Now am I a scientist or what? Huh? Yes, it's a butcher's coat. No, I couldn't get a real lab coat because they started locking the chemistry building after dark. Something about "some asshole stealing lab coats". Hey, I can't help it if I look good in white.
Australian student fashions solar cells out of nail polish as only MacGyver could [dvice]
Aug 26 2008 Body Mice: Highly Questionable Peripherals
Looking for a way to put the spark back into computer porning? Enter the Body Optical Mouse, a $45 peripheral that's shaped like a woman's torso and has clickable tit buttons. You can get one with the World Cup shirt of your favorite team, or painted lingerie. Couple one with an upskirt mousepad and perv it up to the max! Each model even has its own name depending on the country, like Luisa for France and Francesca for Italy. Or, if your mouse is like the chick I brought home last night, Luke. His buttons were fake! His cord, sadly, wasn't.
Hit the jump for a couple more models.
Continue Reading " Body Mice: Highly Questionable Peripherals "
Aug 26 2008 Move Over, Robot: Goblin Shark Is Scarier
Goblin sharks look scary as hell and are scary as hell. Sure they're only a couple feet long, but they're uglier than my sister and have tons of sharp little teeth. Watch the video around 0:20 to see how it's mouth comes out of its face Aliens style to munch on dude's arm. Also, a friend told me that's what a woman's vagina looks like.
Japanese Goblin Shark [collegehumor]
Thanks to Libby, who once punched a goblin shark in the mouth because it looked at her funny.
Aug 26 2008 A Million Person Pyramid To Be Built?
Well, we've seen London's 100,000 person tower concept, and Japan's 1,000,000 person pyramid of doom, and now, unsurprisingly, Dubai wants in on the action. Dubai-based architecture firm Timelinks has developed plans for a million person ziggurat. What the hell's a ziggurat? "A ziggurat was a temple tower of the ancient Mesopotamian valley and Iran, having the form of a terraced pyramid of successively receding stories or levels. Some modern buildings with a step pyramid shape have also been termed ziggurats."
It may sound like just another concept that'll never be a reality, but Timelinks already set about patenting the design as well as the technology that would make it possible. The structure, nearly a whole square mile by design, would use a combination of steam, wind, and other alternative energy-gathering methods to keep itself entirely off the grid. There would also be "green spaces" that would provide the pyramidal city with agricultural space, to provide food and green-based commerce.
Hey, I'm all for a million person pyramid. But how about some $25,000 pyramid?
"You're a failure. I want to sleep with my cycling instructor. Your penis is four sizes too small."
Things my girlfriend tells me, FTW!
The Dubai Ziggurat: 1 million living souls in a pyramid, entirely self-contained [dvice]
Aug 25 2008 Wooden Supercar Apparently Being Built
Remember the article we ran on the Splinter, a 240MPH wooden supercar designed by a NC State graduate student? Yeah, well it turns out Joe Harmond, the student behind the concept, is actually building the damn thing. That's what it's supposed to look like when it's finished there. It still has a long way to go, but there's some build photos and a video after the jump. I must admit, I thought it was all a sham until I saw them. Dude is actually building himself a damn supercar. Out of wood. Good looking, Joe. Just imagine: if you can build a freaking car out of wood, imagine the treehouse you're gonna build me. It's gonna be sick! So yeah, start drawing up the plans. No, seriously, the car can wait, I need a freaking treehouse and I need it now.
Hit the jump for a couple random photos of the build in progress, Joe's official website, his blog, and a massive Flickr gallery.
Aug 25 2008 Intel Demonstrates Wireless Power Transfer
Last week Intel demonstrated a system that can broadcast 60 watts of power up to three feet with 75% efficiency. Using the system seen above, they shot power from one ring of death to the other, and lit a lightbulb. Now I'm not saying it's a good idea to wave your baby-maker around in between the two coils, but it most certainly is. Especially if you've ever wanted your balls to spontaneously combust. And honestly, who hasn't?
Intel demos a wireless power broadcasting system, villagers terrified [engadget]
Thanks Jill, and don't worry -- I'm sterile.
Aug 25 2008 Smart Goggles Help Find Stuff You've Lost
Smart Goggles not only make you look cool, they help find stuff you've misplaced.
To use the glasses, the wearer first wanders around a house or workplace for an hour or so, looking at the objects he or she may later want to find in a hurry. Each time the camera focuses on a object - such as a set of keys, a mobile phone or a purse - the wearer says the name aloud. The name is then recorded and stored into the memory.Once the names have been programmed in, the glasses will try to find the right name for any object they come across. The names appear in small type on the viewfinder. If they are unable to recognise an object they make a guess and - if they get it wrong - learn from their mistakes.
At some point in the future, if the wearer is trying to find their keys in a hurry, they simply name the object. The glasses search its video memory and show its last known location on the display.
Pretty neat concept, but I don't need any help finding my phone or keys. You see, I keep the phone in my car's cupholder, and just leave the keys in the ignit....freaking crackheads!
The Smart Goggles that could make lost keys, mobile phones or iPod a think of the past [dailymail]
Thanks Lauren, and no, I haven't seen your virginity -- but I'll keep my eyes peeled.
Aug 25 2008 Wait, Come Back: The Olympics Are Over
Well folks, the Olympics are over. And you know what that means: no more getting drunk at the bar and watching rhythmic gymnastics. Oh, and 100,000 used condoms. Wait, what?
The UNAIDS, the Beijing organizing committee BOCOG and International Olympics Committee are providing 100,000 condoms as part of a campaign on HIV prevention and anti-discrimination.
While sex is not an Olympic sport it is expected to be an activity in the Beijing village housing 10,500 athletes, all of whom are in great shape and with plenty of free time on their hands once knocked out of the Games.
First of all, sex should be an Olympic sport. And secondly, holy crap -- 100,000 condoms for 10,500 athletes? That's like each athlete having sex ten times. Twenty times if athletes only have sex with other athletes! I mean, shit, the last time I had sex twenty times it felt like my arm was gonna fall off.
Beijing provides 100,000 condoms for athletes [yahoonews]
Thanks to Hunter, who's smart enough to know the only good sports are safe sports.
Aug 25 2008 Cool, Neato!: iHologram iPhone Application
iHologram for the iPhone is an application made by David O'Reilly that creates the illusion of a 3-D cat walking around in your phone.
iHologram combines anamorphosis and the iPhone's gyroscopes to achieve this awesome visual magic trick. Anamorphosis is a way to draw things distorted so, while watched at a certain angle, they pop out of the 2D surface as if they were real.
You have to watch the screen at 35 to 45 degrees at all times in order for the effect to work. And, also, keep the phone charged. It won't work with a dead battery. Or hooker. Speaking of which, can I borrow somebody's car for the afternoon?
3D App Turns iPhone into Window to Alternative World [gizmodo]
Aug 25 2008 Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite Cake
Well folks, it's been a while since we've seen some Star Wars inspired deliciousness here on Geekologie, but at long last, the wait is over. A tipster sent in this Han Solo frozen in carbonite cake that his mom made for what was probably the kick-assiest birthday party ever. And as you can see, Han is looking delicious. I bet he'd go great with a "Solo" cup full of jungle juice! Get it? Because Solo is also a brand of cheap plastic cups. You know, the kind you play beerpong with. At sausage parties. Like the one I went to on Saturday. So yeah, whoever you were: I puked behind your couch.
Hit the jump for a couple close-ups of delicious Han.
Aug 25 2008 Two Vigilante Ninjas From New Jersey Try To Stop Drug Dealers, End Up Going To Jail
That isn't one of them in the picture. That's a hot female ninja, completely unrelated to the story, but a highly appropriate graphic nonetheless. Anyway, 22-year old Tadeusz Tertkiewicz and 19-year old Jesse Trojaniak were arrested in Clifton, New Jersey, for being the world's worst ninjas.
Calling themselves "Shinobi warriors," the men wore black SWAT-type vests and carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.After being arrested early Wednesday in a car on Route 46, the men said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their "impure" activities.
The letters said those who persisted would be stopped with "justified yet, merciful force."
Wow. From an interview with one of the ninja failures:
First we tried sneaking around the bushes, but we couldn't because the bushes were too thick. So we went for the more subtle, just, um, like hit and run approach, where we'd just run in there, slap the letter, and just run out of there as quickly as possible.
Listen, I've got news for any of you would-be Shinobi warriors out there: If your stealthy mission is thwarted by a bush, guess what? You aren't a freaking ninja. Go home and nunchuck yourself in the vagina till you pass out.
Hit the jump for a picture of one of them, along with a link to the news video.
Aug 25 2008 The AirKick Gets You High, Wet
If you live in Germany you can rent an AirKick for an undisclosed amount of bratwurst. The human catapult (not to be confused with a human trebuchet) is capable of launching thrill-seekers 26 feet to a watery landing.
The participant sits in a specially constructed seat at the back end of the catapult arm and 3,2,1...Liftoff. He sets the device in motion himself by pushing a button. Approximately 60 liters of water are then forced through a rocket nozzle under the seat.
Awesome! I'm having them send one over here for testing, I'll report back.
UPDATE: Greetings from the ER! Not for use in the mall parking lot.
AirKick Human Water Catapult [ballerhouse]
via
AirKick human catapult slam-dunks brave riders [dvice]
Thanks Eric and Pat, but you could have warned me you know.
Aug 22 2008 Artistic Photo Gallery Of Star Trek And Star Wars Fans Dressed Up As Characters
This is an artsy photo gallery by photographer Steve Schofield containing a ton of people dressed up as Star Wars and Star Trek characters. And, because it's Friday and I've already started drinking, I threw in a Ninja Turtle for good measure. Remember the sexy Comic-Con and Princess Leia galleries? Well this is the opposite of those. If those galleries were the hot girl in high school you always had a crush on, this is your ugly little sister. But it's definitely still worth a view, the photos are incredibly well done. I really love the feelings they evoke. It's almost like you ARE that person all dressed up in your costume, posing for the camera, and thinking, "what the f*** have I gotten myself into?"
Hit the jump for the monster gallery. It really is awesome.
Continue Reading " Artistic Photo Gallery Of Star Trek And Star Wars Fans Dressed Up As Characters "
Aug 22 2008 Swarm-Bots: Child Stealing Robots (Seriously)
Every wonder what it would look like if a bunch of little robots ganged up on a kid and dragged it across the floor? This.
The video is 3:00 long, so just let it load and then skip towards the end for the full effect.
Thanks Michael, you wanna come over and help me install casters on the kids' PJs?
Aug 22 2008 Microsoft Recruits Gates, Seinfeld To Help Combat Apple's Current "Get A Mac" Ads
Apple keeps putting out those "Get a Mac" ads and Microsoft has finally decided it's not going to take them lying down with its ass in the air. So what's the company doing? Starting an ad campaign with "key celebrity pitchman" Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, and Bill Gates.
The campaign is said to be based on the idea of "Windows, Not Walls," stressing the need to "break down barriers that prevent people and ideas from connecting." Something we think open-sourcers might have a laugh at. Anywho, the immediate goal of the campaign is to reverse the negative public perception of Vista and thus incorporates elements of the Mojave Experiment. While we have doubts about the latter, the combination of Seinfeld's pithy observations with a bit of that Bill Gates, self deprecating humor seen in "Bill's Last Day" could be a winning combination.
The campaign, which kicks off September 4th, will cost Microsoft over $300 million, which, if I've done my nautical math correctly, is a lot of freaking clams. More than I could eat in one sitting anyway. If Microsoft gave me a hundredth of that money I could run Apple into the ground single keyboardedly. I'M THE GEEKOLOGIE WRITER DAMNIT, WHEN I TYPE, PEOPLE READ! Isn't that...Jesus, you're not even paying attention are you?
Microsoft enlists Seinfeld, Gates to battle "Get a Mac" ads [engadget]
Thanks Sam, you wanna be part of my smear campaign?
Aug 22 2008 Vulcanus Casemod Weighs More Than Yours
The Vulcanus casemod was designed by Czech blacksmith Sergej and forged in the depths of hell. The whole freaking thing is made from hammered steel weighs in at over 110 lbs. Impressive, Sergej, but not as impressive as my case. It's a little something I like to call my PB Case. Get it, instead of PC it's PB because I made it out of lead. Oh, hold on. Damnit Jack, what did I tell you about chewing on daddy's computer? That's right, it's delicious. Now let your sister have a bite.
Hit the jump for some closeups that really show the thing off, along with a video that reminds me of a satanic porno I watched in high school.
Continue Reading " Vulcanus Casemod Weighs More Than Yours "
Aug 22 2008 OLD!: World Of Warcraft Gaming Rig Consists Of 47 Computers, La-Z-Boys, Pure Craziness
Apparently this rig has been out for awhile, so you may have already seen it. And if you have, you should totally leave a comment about how you rubbed one out to a Discovery Channel special about the thing like a year ago. Because that would be awesome. Anyway, for those that haven't seen it, this is a 47 computer setup for playing World of Warcraft.
47 PCs. 23 each for gameslah and his girlfriend, and one to act as a server. According to his post, only two of the machines have hard drives, the rest use PXE (Preboot Execution Environment) to boot over the network.
So yeah, gameslah and his girlfriend like to play as many characters at WoW as they can, and this is how they do it. Pretty sick, huh? I thought so. I've tried playing Counterstrike on two computers at once and actually did okay. Well, I was killing it on one computer, but I could only strafe and run in reverse on the other: dong not long enough to reach the W.
Hit the jump for a worthwhile pic of their actual gaming setup: two La-Z-Boys and 3 monitors each.
Aug 22 2008 What If The Mega Man 3 Theme Had Lyrics?
Would it sound like this? Brentalfloss, in his excitement for the upcoming release of Mega Man 9, made this rendition of the theme from Mega Man 3. Which is ironic, because I was playing Mega Man 3 in between posts yesterday on FireNes. Shadow Man tore me a new blue robotic asshole.
Youtube
Thanks to Brent, who actually made the song.
Aug 22 2008 I Knew It: My Childhood Sucked Without This Kidtropolis Magic Indoor Treehouse Bedroom
Kidtropolis is a company that makes childhood dreams come true, provided your parents shit gold nuggets. This is an almost finished "Magic Treehouse Bedroom" built for the luckiest kid alive. I mean, not only does the youngster get a treehouse, they get one in their bedroom. They probably have an entire Ewok village in the woods behind their house. Me? I don't even have a treehouse anymore. The town came and tore it down. Something about "not building treehouses on telephone poles". You know what I said? "Urban jungle, bitches, urban jungle!" I sure told them.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures of the awesomeness.
Aug 22 2008 DIY: Guy Is Building Himself A Lamborghini
33-year old Canadian Woody "Wood" Sticksandbranches is making himself a Lamborghini. The vehicle is built on top of a $60 Pontiac Fiero chassis and promises to be one hell of a good looking ride. Nice work Loggy, I can't wait to see the finished product. Maybe you could take me for a spin sometime. But no funny business -- I don't care if you do drive a Lamborghini look-alike. Just kidding, I'm cool with a little hand action.
Hit the jump for a photo gallery of the build process.
Continue Reading " DIY: Guy Is Building Himself A Lamborghini "
Aug 21 2008 Spy Watch Hides Video Camera In The Two
The $236 Spy Micro Camera Watch from Brando hides a video camera in the 2 for all sorts of top secret video surveillance missions. The unit packs 2GB of internal memory and can transfer files to a computer via USB cable. Unfortunately, the little bugger only records AVIs in 352 x 288 resolution. Which is pretty shitty. Still, it'll still be good for one thing, won't it? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Super grainy upsleeve videos! We should totally start a fetish site.
Spy Micro Camera Watch [ubergimzo]
Aug 21 2008 Guy Makes Olympic Village Out Of Cards
First LEGO, and now cards. Bryan Berg, the world record cardstacker, recreated the Beijing Olympic Village using over 140,000 playing cards. Nice, Bryan, but let's put those cardstacking skills to real use and cheat some girls at strip poker! What do you mean you don't want to cheat? Well fine, but you don't get to play then. Or watch. What you can do is run to the store and get me a 12-pack of tighty whities.
Thanks Sara, say -- what are you doing tonight? Wanna play some cards?
Aug 21 2008 Guitar Hero For DS Modded With A Guitar
We've seen mods for Guitar Hero in the past, but this is the first I've spotted for the DS version. Eric Ruckman, unhappy with the gameplay of Guitar Hero: On Tour decided that, instead of cutting his loses, he'd mod a PS2 Guitar Hero controller to play the game.
As you can see above, that includes a special housing for the DS itself (it's still used for strumming), and even a built-in FM transmitter with its own screen, which lets him pump the audio through his home sound system.
Sweet modding skills Eric, but as the old saying goes, "just because you can, you probably shouldn't have."
Hit the jump to see a video demonstration of the mod in action.
Continue Reading " Guitar Hero For DS Modded With A Guitar "
Aug 21 2008 Mega Man Energy Drink Coming Soon
It seems like every video game character out there wants his own damn energy drink these days. So it comes as no surprise that Mega Man (who actually looks like a little boy) in getting one to coincide with the release of Mega Man 9. At first glance the product looks like an energy cell, but a closer inspection reveals it's just a freaking can.
The drink will be called "Rockman E Can Drink" because it's coming out in Japan and Mega Man is called Rockman over there. The drink will cost ¥137, or about $1.25 a can. No word on what it tastes like, though.
Ha, that's easy -- if it's anything like the majority of other energy drinks, it'll taste like Dr. Wily's taint.
mega man energy drink helps you beat down robot masters [technabob]
Aug 21 2008 Oh Boy, Oh Boy!: iPhones Now Shipping With Preloaded Pictures Of Cute Factory Workers
Somebody bought an iPhone and found out it it came preloaded with pictures of a cute iPhone factory worker. That's her there! I think this is the just the impetus I needed to finally make the iPhone switch. I hope I get some factory photos too!
UPDATE: Some guy's balls. Lucky me.
Hit the jump to see two more pictures of mysterious factory worker girl.
Aug 21 2008 Why You Don't Kite Surf In Tropical Storms
Why shouldn't you kite-surf in tropical storms? Because they'll f*** you up. Not only will they slam you into the beach, they'll fling you across the street and into a concrete wall for good measure. Now I hate to say this is Darwinism at work, but I will mention the Saber-Toothed Tiger was notorious for freaking around in tropical storms. Coincidence?
Thanks to Julian, who could actually throw you that far.
Aug 21 2008 Pretty F'ed Up: World Trade Center Invaders
French-American artist Douglas Edric "Asshat" Stanely "Steamer" has this game on display right now at the '08 Games Convention in Leipzig, Germany.
Stanely says that the exhibit is an update of one he created in September 2001. This time the exhibit is much larger, includes multiplayer support, improved tracking, high and low scores leader boards and a "stronger tie-in to the historical narrative that originally inspired me to make this version in the first place."
You aren't helping.
The World Trade Center attacks mark a deep cut in our recent history that is still being processed. The French-American artist Douglas Edric Stanley has found an unusual - though obvious - metaphor with his work "Invaders!", which is based on the 1978 arcade original. In his interactive large installation, the players must prevent the catastrophe by controlling the well- known cannon at the lower screen border with their bodies and firing it using arm movements. Like the original, this trial is ultimately unsuccessful, thus creating an articulated and critical commentary about the current war strategy. In this regard, Douglas Edric Stanley sees Space Invaders as "a social tale that can be related to historical tales without losing its poetic power"
Oh yeah, tons of poetic power there, Stanley. How moving. The convention goes on until the 24th, so anybody that's attending or lives nearby, feel free to stop in and say hello to Douglas. Hello with a tire iron to the nuts. And maybe you could recite some Dylan Thomas or Robert Frost while you're doing it. You know, for added poetic power.
Space Invaders Attack World Trade Center At Games Convention [kotaku]
Artist Explains WTC Space Invaders Exhibit at Games Convention [kotaku]
(Note: this page has a picture of him that will make you hate him even more -- he looks like a Nihilist from The Big Lebowski)
Thanks to Julian, who promised to stuff me in his luggage and get me over there.
Aug 21 2008 Windows 3.1 Windows Not Vista Compatible
John Nouanesing, the same designer behind the drippy paint table and Geekini has come up with a clever window treatment -- Fenêtres 3.1 (Windows 3.1). As you can see, they make your windows look like Windows 3.1 windows. And, if it's particularly crappy looking outside, you can pull down the blue screen of death shade (seen partially pulled in the right photo). You just better hope the neighbor's kids don't accidentally throw a ball through them, because then you'd have broken Windows! Or, if they're not sealed properly, you could get -- wait for it, wait for it -- bug-filled Windows! Haha, I am so freaking wanting to kill myself right now.
Brilliant window design looks just like Windows 3.1 [dvice]
Thanks to Andrew, king of harvest. And broken windows.
Aug 20 2008 More Dubai Photos: Now With More Island!
Back by popular demand, more stunning Dubai photography from David Hobcote. This batch includes several photos of the main city, along with some of the progress on The World Islands. Just stunning -- really makes me want to take a helicopter up and see what my town looks like from above.
UPDATE: Lots of cows. Oh, and a train. So, yeah, suck on that Dubai. CHOO CHOO, bitches, CHOO CHOO!
Hit the jump for several more, including the first house completed on the World Islands.
Continue Reading " More Dubai Photos: Now With More Island! "
Aug 20 2008 Travel In Comfort With The Tiddy Bear
This is a commercial for the inappropriately named Tiddy Bear. It's a $15 stuffed booby bear that attaches to your seatbelt's shoulder strap and prevents it from cutting into your skin. But the commercial is funny because *snicker* every time they say "Tiddy" it sounds like "titty" -- and they say it a whole bunch! WAHAHAHAH! *wiping tear* Holy shit, I'm eight.
Thanks Lauren and Aaron, I've always wanted to stoop to a new low.
Aug 20 2008 Bus Stop Seating Just Got Swingier!
Bruno Taylor modified a London bus stop with a swing (and, quite possibly, a MacBook Air ad). But just one, so you'll have to wait your turn or double up and have a stranger's privates dangerously close to your butt. As you can see, there's a cute girl on the swing, and based on the angle of her dangle and facial expression, she's having a good time. So, yeah, whee. Add a slide and a guy soliciting free candy, and you've got yourself a playground.
Aug 20 2008 Solar Panel Tie Can Charge Your Gadgets
This solar panel tie collects light and, through a process that even Scientologists don't understand, converts it to usable energy. The tie has a little pocket on the back that stores the gadget you're charging, and is completely impractical. I'm all for green shit (figuratively), but I just don't see these catching on. The majority of guys that have to wear ties (like me) work in fluorescent cubicle farms where this thing would get little to no charge. I mean, I can't even see a freaking window from here. We used to have one, but management boarded it up when they found out we liked looking out of it. What somebody needs to do is invent solar powered hard hats or something a landscaper would wear, like, I dunno, a suntan. Oh my God, I'm brilliant.
Hello, patent office? Are you sitting down? Good, now put this in your pipe and smoke it -- solar-powered suntans! I drew a picture and everything. Well, it's on a bar napkin, so I'll just tell you -- it's a really tan guy on a lawnmower charging a boombox. It's great, he's got a cord coming out of his belly button and everything. Hello? HELLO?
Solar Powered Tie Seems Great, Probably Won't See Much Light [ohgizmo]
Aug 20 2008 Cat Born With Four Ears, Named Yoda
Some cat in Downers Grove, Illinois (just west of Uppers Orchard) was born with four ear flaps. So what do you name a cat with four ears? That's easy -- Barfly. But then you let your son pick another one and he chooses the name of that creepy green goblin from Star Wars.
Ted and Valerie Rock first spied the little guy in 2006 at neighborhood bar on the South Side of Chicago before a Bears game. He was the last of a litter of eight put up for adoption by the bar's owner.
But the Rocks, who had lost their cat of 20 years just 6 months prior, saw something special in the gray kitten and decided to take him home.Their "Star Wars"-loving son thought to name the cat after the tiny Jedi master.
"I had named him Barfly," Rock said. "But we kind of liked Yoda better, and Barfly lasted only about a day."
Apparently the abnormality can cause hearing problems, but Yoda has checked out fine and lives a perfectly normal four-eared life. Well, if that isn't the most heart-warming story of the day. I swear, my heart almost feels like it's on fire. And, hello -- my left arm just went numb. Oh fu
UPDATE: Whew, false alarm. Sorry to scare you folks, but the ticker's just fine. It was the Double Diablo Burrito I had for breakfast. And my arm? Ha, I had forgotten I was prepping it for a Stranger.
Yoda the Cat Astounds With Four Ears [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan, Sam and Kathryn, who were all born with four of something else. Limbs!
Aug 20 2008 ZOMG, She's Not Real -- She's CG!
You see that chick? She's not real -- she's a CG version of actress Emily O'Brien created by facial animation studio Image Metrics. And let me tell you, she definitely kicks the shit out of last week's CG facials.
Using (USC's) Institute for Creative Technologies' special scanning system that can capture facial details down to the individual pore, the face of actress Emily O'Brien was transformed into a digital representation of herself, which could then be entirely machine-manipulated. A special spherical lighting rig captured O'Brien in 35 reference facial poses using a pair of high resolution digital cameras. The facial maps were then converted into 3D data using Image Metrics' proprietary markerless motion capture technology.
Hit the jump to see a high-res video of the CG Emily talking and moving. It's freaking amazing. Did I mention she kind of looks like Keira Knightley? Because she does. Now I'm not sure what kind of implications this has for the adult-entertainment industry, but if I had to guess, I'd say a series of wicked pirate-themed skin-flicks. Pirates of The Caribbean: At World's Rear End! Or, alternatively, Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chesticles.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures and a very worthwhile video.
Aug 20 2008 Viral Ad For Samsung's Omnia Touch Phone
This is a viral video for Samsung's new touchscreen Omnia i900 phone. I don't want to ruin anything, so you'll just have to watch it. I thought it was cute. Well, not like bunny or kitten cute, but still, it's neat. Just not as neat as my bedroom. I'm OCD.
Thanks Dennis, but please, don't touch anything.
Aug 20 2008 Bigfoot: "That Totally Wasn't Me"
In a turn of events that shocked no one, Bigfoot left a message for reporters in the woods claiming the recent pictures of a creature in a freezer, are, in fact, not him. The message, spelled out with carefully arranged arm-length turds, read "that totally wasn't me".
Turns out Bigfoot was just a rubber suit. Two researchers on a quest to prove the existence of Bigfoot say that the carcass encased in a block of ice -- handed over to them for an undisclosed sum by two men who claimed to have found it -- was slowly thawed out, and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.
First, the hair sample was burned and "melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair," Kulls said in the posting.The thawing process was sped up and the exposed head was found to be "unusually hollow in one small section." An hour of thawing later and the feet were exposed -- and they were found to be made of rubber.
Well folks, it just goes to show you -- you can't believe every legendary creature is real just because some asshats claim to have one in a freezer. You can't will Bigfoot real, no matter how badly you want to make love to him.
Researchers say bigfoot just a rubber gorilla suit [yahoonews]
Thanks to Dan, SilverSided, Laurel, Brad, The Hashishin, Gingela5, and Melanie for letting me down easy.
Aug 19 2008 World's Largest Digging Machine Is Huge
The world's largest digger is a giant trencher built a couple years ago by German manufacturer Krupp. It took more than 5 years and $100 million to design and manufacture.
The machine is almost 95 meters (311 ft) high and 215 meters (705 ft) long which is just like almost 2.5 football fields in length with 45,500 tons in weight. Maximum digging speed is 10 meters (32 ft) per minute and it can move more than 76,000 cubic meters (~2,700,000 cubic ft) of coal, rock, and earth per day.
Wow, pretty impressive. You get two of these things working around the clock for a couple days and I could finally bury my girlfriend. Haha! No, but seriously honey, go to the gym.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the digging behemoth.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Digging Machine Is Huge "
Aug 19 2008 Eye Candy: The Burj Dubai Nears Completion
The Burj Dubai tower, tallest building in the world, is soon to be completed. So photographer David Hobcote took a bunch of high-res pictures from the air to commemorate the 2,087 ft structure. As you can see, the results are breathtaking. And, if you don't start again, potentially lifetaking.
Hit the jump for several more of the ridiculousness.
Continue Reading " Eye Candy: The Burj Dubai Nears Completion "
Aug 19 2008 Breakdancing To Dance Dance Revolution
Okay, so it's not really Dance Dance Revolution. It's some game called Pump It Up. And you've probably already seen this before. You know, back when it came out two years ago. So make sure to leave a note in the comments about that. Also, one about how you could do way better because you are a L337 dancer and was in a Janet Jackson video. All I know is that I could never do that. I had DDR for the PS2 and always did terribly. Partly because my dong dragged on the buttons, but mostly because I was just humping the mat.
Youtube
Thanks to Emma, who can cut a rug like nobody's business.
Aug 19 2008 Get Your Own Star Trek Captain's Chair
Looking for a way to flaunt authority in your household? How about a replica command chair from the original Star Trek series? Available for shipping in 2009, the chair will sell for around $1,000 and include lights and buttons and shit. I'm totally getting one.
UPDATE, 2009: Captain's log: a floater, almost takes up the whole bowl. Somebody take a picture of this thing. What do all these buttons do again? Which one do I mash to shoot photon beams? BEEP BOOP. Haha, choke on that, Khan. Now, somebody get some damn space wenches in here. The ones with spikey ears. Oh, and one with a ridge head, you know -- looks like a mountain range. Quickly, like warp speed -- and install a levitating stripper pole. In the meantime: Beam me up, Scotty. I'm talking Jim Beam, damnit, no ice. Here, you can use the same glass. The captain gets what he wants! Well I'm in the chair, aren't I? Mutiny my ass, I'll kill you all. PEW PEW, bitches, PEW PEW!
Hit the jump to see a comparison shot of the replica and original.
Aug 19 2008 Man Designs IFO, Seeks Funding
Kevin Brown is a man. A man who designed an IFO and is now seeking funding to start production. Introducing the VTOHLJATT: A Vertical Takeoff Hover Landing Jet Aerial Terrestrial Transport (you've gotta admit, it's got a ring to it).
The vehicle has four models starting with the single seat version, capable of lifting the pilot and one passengers. The 2 seater version is capable of lifting the pilot, co.-pilot and 2 passengers and the 4 seater version is capable of lifting the pilot, the co.-pilot, engineer, navigator and 3 passengers. Each version configuration is maintained by an equal weight to thrust and lift ratios.
All vehicles will enable the occupants to take off and land vertically, by use of 4, jet vectored thrust engines. counter rotation turbo fan-jets; appox: 17" Dia. by 37.8 in Length, 300 pounds in dry weight. Capable of thrusts of up to 1200 Static 4 time that, well 4800, you see my point.The purpose of the vehicle is to enable this vehicle to maneuver in very tight, confined, spaces. Models depending on size of Occupancy range from 4 square meters to 10 square meters. The overall size of the vehicle will be no larger than an ordinary, domestic compact import car for the single seater version.
So, who's investing? Somebody better be, because I want one of these things. Think about it: owning your very own IFO! Finally, a chance to turn the table on those wonk-eyed aliens. Nobody probes this this ass and get away with it! Well, except a very special cellmate of mine. Miss you, call me when you're out.
Hit the jump for a bunch of different models of the craft, and email Kevin at kevbro007[at]hotmail[dot]com if you want Kevin to contact you with more info.
Aug 19 2008 Yummy!: Krispy Kreme Makes Grass Sandals
Krispy Kreme, best known for their heart-stoppingly delicious glazed donuts is now making grass sandals. Wait, what?
Krispy Kreme questioned over 1,000 UK workers and found that over half (53%) of urbanites believe their stress levels are affected by a lack of contact with Mother Nature. In response to the problem Krispy Kreme has created the world's first grass flip-flops to bring summer magic to the city - giving stressed out workers a (literal) spring in their step by creating an instant grassy park underneath their feet regardless of their urban location.
Each sandal has over 5,000 blades of grass and can last up to 4 months if properly watered and cared for. I'm getting a pair, I'll let you know how they work out.
UPDATE: The neighbor let his dog shit on my freaking sandals and didn't even pick it up. So when he goes on vacation this weekend I'm putting the end of a garden hose in one of his basement windows and flooding it. Glazed donut flip-flops FTW!
World's First (Living) Grass Flip Flops [responsesource]
Thanks Crystal, I saved the last donut for you.
Aug 19 2008 Now With Movement!: Slow Motion Bullets
Yesterday we had still images of bullet destruction, and today -- video! It's actually a PSA created by a London radio station's "Peace on the Streets" campaign against gun violence. Just watch it. Then argue in the comments section about gun control like you all love to do. I'm not taking sides though because I'm an unbiased reporter, but I will say this: I once brought a knife to a gunfight and accidentally stabbed myself pretty bad.
Thanks to Charlie, who knows that the pen is mightier than the WMD.
Aug 19 2008 Father Nails XBox To Tree To Spite Sons
Some poor kids' dad nailed their XBox to a tree to teach them a lesson. One about hating your father.
My husband had repeatedly warned our 3 boys about their behavior while playing the XBOX. Tuesday, after I arrived home from work, our oldest son told me to look in the backyard at "Dad's artwork". Well, I wasn't surprised to see the XBOX proudly displayed on the nearest tree... way to go Honey!!!!!
Wow, I can honestly say I'm glad these aren't my parents -- making your kids play an old Xbox when the 360 has been out forever. I may call social services.
A costly lesson... [ireport]
Thanks to Diego, who experienced a similar abuse growing involving Tetris.
Aug 18 2008 Geez, You Could Have Just Asked Me: Scientists Confirm Beer Goggles Are Real
In an announcement that shouldn't surprise anyone that's seen the majority of women I've slept with, scientists have concluded that beer goggles are, in fact, real.
Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study -- they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.
Beer is making me gay.
"The main question is whether these effects are specific to faces, or whether we would rate anything as more attractive after a drink," Munafo said.Future research could expose people who have been drinking to landscapes or the faces of puppies and other animals, "to see if alcohol has a more general effect on perceiving beauty in the environment."
I don't like where this is going. I am NOT having sex with animals. Or a damn landscape. Well, unless it's the sun setting over a mountain range. I'd ravage that shit.
Aug 18 2008 Cool!: The Periodic Table Of Videos
The Periodic Table of Videos is a project created by University of Nottingham professor Martyn Poiakoff and video journalist Brady Haran to teach the masses all neat facts about the various chemical elements. This is a teaser trailer here, but you can go to their official website for 118 different videos, with more to come soon. Damn, this reminds me of my high school chemistry class. Oh, the joy I'd experience when I made something explode. Oh my god -- and don't even get me started on my lab partner's monster rack. The poor bastard had man-tits!
Periodic Table of Videos Makes Chemistry Extremely Watchable [gizmodo]
Aug 18 2008 Kids Add Audio Systems To Their Bikes
A group of immigrant teens from Trinidad that now live in Queens, New York call themselves the Stereobike crew and add bad-to-the-ass audio systems to their bicycles. Systems that put the boombox I keep in my front basket to shame. The speakers, powered by car batteries and run through amps, output thousands of watts, capable of rattling the paint clean off my Prism. Just imagine, when these kids are old enough to drive and start buying their own cars -- they're gonna get broken into and their stereos stolen.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Aug 18 2008 Eye Candy: More High Speed Photography
It's been a while since we've featured some delicious high-speed photography here on Geekologie, but at long last the wait is over, and I'm proud to announce: I am NOT THE FATHER! *high fives* Anyway, yeah, high-speed photos of shit getting shot up. There's a couple more after the jump, including a perfectly good can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Which, while saddening, led me to the development of an awesome new product. Bulletproof koozies, bitches -- I'm gonna be rich!
Hit it for three more and a link to a much larger Flickr gallery.
Aug 18 2008 Yes Please!: Samus Aran's Zero Suit
As a guy who was raised on Metroid and just finished Corruption on the Wii last week, I have a special fondness for Samus Aran. And it's not just that sexy beam-cannon she sports either, although it certainly helps. Well, here's the same chick (whose name is Jenni Källberg and actually made the suit) that we saw previously in the entire Varia suit, but this time sporting Samus' more basic Zero Suit. Which, incidentally, I got to see at the end of Corruption because I went for 100% completion. I probably wouldn't have though if a friend hadn't told me I'd get to see her naked. That guy, such a prankster. I choked him to death with the nunchuck cable.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the second love of my life (behind Zelda).
Aug 18 2008 Galactic Empire Invades San Francisco
Death Star Over San Francisco [current]
Thanks to Evan and Patrick, who could bring down the Death Star with a potato gun.
*Haha, made you watch! I'm an asshole.
Aug 18 2008 Man Humps Steel Bench, Almost Loses Junk
I have no idea what some of you tipsters' obsession is with guys getting their junk stuck in things, but it's borderline disturbing (just kidding, it's totally rad). But here goes: Xing, a 41-year old man, was wandering through LanTian park in Hong Kong late one night when he thought to himself, "I should stick my penis in a steel park bench, you know, for the Olympics." And that's what he did. Unfortunately, mid-coitus Xing realized he was stuck and called the police using his cell phone.
When police arrived, Xing was moaning in pain and stuck face down to the bench. They tried several penis-liberating options (including taking blood) before sawing the entire bench off and taking it to the hospital. 4 hours later Xing had his penis back, sans giant metal bench attachment. Good thing too, because doctors said one hour longer and they would have chopped his member off. Oh man, this reminds me of the time I made love to a hole in a tree during a camping trip. Hello woodpecker nest! Seriously, I pee out the side of my penis now.
Hit the jump for two more pictures of Xing and a video news report. Warning: lots of painful moaning. Lots. A lot, a lot. Tons. Never heard so much painful moaning. Also, added another link to a story about a guy that had sex with the umbrella hole of his picnic table so often that his neighbor finally filmed it and called the police. You're welcome.
Continue Reading " Man Humps Steel Bench, Almost Loses Junk "
Aug 18 2008 The Geekini: Mash Those Buttons!
Similar to the gaming bra we saw before, the Geekini is an NES controller in the form factor of a bikini top and bottom. It's recommended you have a female wear the peripheral, but you can put it on yourself if you're pathetic as hell or have a women's bikini fetish. Just a heads up though: if you do manage to get your girlfriend in it, do not, I repeat, DO NOT throw her through the television if you lose a game. You scored a chick that's willing to wear a game controller bikini and let you mash her boobs. Hold on tight, and also, flat screens are expensive.
Hit the jump to see the whole bikini and where they placed the SELECT and START buttons. Spoiler: The vaj.
Aug 15 2008 British Ministry Of Defense Plans To Start Using Bomb-Dropping UFOs Within The Year
The British Army plans on deploying these little UFOs within the next years to drop bombs and bugs (listening devices, not earwigs) behind enemy lines.
Without any external blades and using a two stroke petrol engine, the unmanned aerial vehicle can enter a building either through a window or door and send back high-quality images on its video camera feed.
With efforts being made to make an electric engine that generates little noise, the Fenstar's inventors, hope it could be quiet enough to snoop into rooms and plant listening devices without being seen or heard. Similarly it could also plant explosive devices to kill the enemy.
Yeah, you definitely need to work on the noise factor, otherwise that thing'll be PEW PEWed out of the sky quicker than you can say "Holy shit, miniature aliens!" But seriously, how come every piece of new technology has to be used for war. Planting bombs? How about planting trees? I'm talking weed here folks. I don't know what that has to do with any of this, but it definitely does now. Am I right? Well let me finish. Say, you gonna eat the rest of that? Okay, so the enemies smoke the weed, right, and then -- seriously, give me a bite, I've got the munchies. Mmm, this is good -- what do you call it? A wet-nap, huh? It's real lemon-y.
Flying saucer that can plant explosives or bugs set for frontline [telegraph]
Thanks to Blumama, from Redpapa.
Aug 15 2008 The 2008 Olympics: Now In LEGO Form
This is the Olympic village made entirely out of LEGO. It was recently on display in Hong Kong to get everyone excited about the games and contains over 300,000 blocks and 4,500 minifigs. Hit the jump for a whole bunch more, including a damn good looking Water Cube. You know, I was so inspired by the work that went into this that I decided to write my congressman about getting a medal above the gold awarded in the Olympics. This medal, of course, would be LEGO. Pretty great idea, huh? Well that's what I thought -- but you know what he wrote back? "Stop writing me about all your stupid freaking ideas." Can you believe that? He said the exact same thing about the possibility of getting my likeness on a coin. What a dick!
Hit it for a bunch more.
Aug 15 2008 Mmmmm, Gamey: The NES Lunchbox
So somebody made an Instructable about how to turn a NES into a lunchbox. I can't imagine it's all that difficult, but the last time I tried to mod anything I ended up with a nipple infection. Hey, piercing looked easy. So yeah, make your own NES lunchbox. Or, if you give me a few hours, I'll make a PS3 lunchbox and post an Instructable.
UPDATE: Shit, I think I voided the warranty.
NES Lunchbox [albotas]
Aug 15 2008 Shhhh!: Nintendo Silences Shigeru Miyamoto
Video game guru Shigeru Miyamoto (the man behind such franchises as Mario, Donkey Kong, Zelda, and more recently Brain Age and Wii Fit) has been asked by Nintendo to not discuss his personal hobbies. Why? Because it reveals what Nintendo has in the works.
At least, that's the reasoning behind an item in The Times of London. The piece connects some dots -- Miyamoto loves puzzles, Brain Age follows; Miyamoto interested in exercise, Wii Fit is born; Miyamoto takes music lessons, Wii Music unveiled. And the writer, attributing to sources within Nintendo, says the third time was enough and Nintendo has asked Miyamoto to hush up about his interests.
Oh man, let's just hope Miyamoto isn't secretly one of those pervwads on the subway that tries to play grab-ass with unsuspecting women. Because, honestly, Cheek Cheek Ass Hand sounds like a pretty f***ed up game.
Ninty Forbids Miyamoto to Discuss His Hobbies [kotaku]
Thanks Beezy, now let's start spying on him.
Aug 15 2008 Guy Paints Car Pictures Using RC Cars
Ian Cook is an artist that specializes in painting car portraits using RC cars and wheels instead of brushes. Which, unbeknownst to me, apparently there's a market for. He dips the toy's wheels in paint, and then runs them around on the paper using a radio controller. I've got to admit, the results are pretty damn impressive. Not as impressive as the cat painting I made using nothing but an uncooperative Mr. Whiskers, but still, not bad.
Hit the jump to see a couple more pictures and a video of Ian in action.
Aug 15 2008 CD Dumbbells: Because, Despite Paying For A Membership, You Never Go To The Gym
Let's face it, going to the gym is a hassle. First you have to get there, then you have to lift stuff and break a sweat, and, as if that weren't enough hassle already, you have to wet the end of your towel and play a little whip-ass in the locker room with the other guys. Am I right? You know -- the game where you all run around trying to whip each other's buttocks with a towel. I love that shit. Well anyway, if you never leave your house you can make a CD dumbbell out of stuff you have laying around. Of course, if you want a real workout, you should come over and lift this 21" CRT monitor off my desk. Yeah, just like that. Remember: lift with the legs and *WHIP* Haha, you can take a boy out of the locker room, but you can't take the love of whipping another man's ass with a moistened towel out of the boy. Also, you dropped my monitor -- you're gonna have to pay for that.
CD dumbbells get you ripped with what you've got lying around [dvice]
Aug 15 2008 Fire Beer, Not Bullets: The Beerdolier
Last week it was the Beer Belt, and now this week, the Beerdolier. Oh hell yes! The $15 Beerdolier holds six cans of sweet beer AND keeps them cold thanks to its unpatented koozie technology. These things are freaking awesome! Can you imagine a world in which a war (World War Brew) is fought with beer instead of bullets? I can, it's called Utopia, and I just drank all the ammo. Oh, time for a munitions dump.
The Beerdolier: Drink Like a Commando [gizmodo]
Aug 15 2008 Some Maroons Still Believe The Earth Is Flat
Idiots in the Flat Earth Society are still convinced the world is flat and lead-based paint is part of a well-balanced diet.
People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."
Don't breed!
"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre, a Briton who helps run the Flat Earth Society's Web site. "Obviously it isn't perfectly flat, thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter.""The North Pole is central, and Antarctica comprises the entire circumference of the Earth," explains McIntyre. "Circumnavigation is a case of traveling in a very broad circle across the surface of the Earth."
Flat Earthers also believe the moon landing and photos of earth from space were faked, which is only true in the case of the moon landing. But what I don't get is: if Antarctica surrounds the entire circumference of the earth, what's on the other side of that? Is it all ice? Is it candy land? Is it the dark side of the earth? Does my doppelgänger live there? Do you think he blogs too? If I meet him will I really die? Can I dig a hole to the other side and find out? Will you help? Come on, I'll show you my tits.
Believers In Flat Earth Not About to Change Minds [foxnews]
Thanks to Sam, who's smart enough to know the world is a cone.
Aug 14 2008 Husband Cheats On Wife, She Sells Condom Wrapper And Picture Of His Lover's Undies
Some guy cheated on his wife and was caught after he accidentally sent her a text message meant for his mistress. She came home, and the rest is soon to be penis-chopping history.
Once upon a time there was a women who, after 22 years of marriage, found evidence that the soon to be ex-husband, had had 'The Tart' in their marital bed this very afternoon. This low life deceitful son-of-a-person ( I'm all for political correctness) blatantly denied that this event took place even though the evidence is irrefutable and is now up for auction on e-bay.
The woman is selling a picture of the "tart's" underwear and the used condom wrapper (size small) she discovered. She was originally selling the actual underwear, but eBay yanked the auction as you're not allowed to sell preworn underwear because that's freaking disgusting and a good way to catch malaria. Make sure to hit the auction link if you want to read a much, MUCH longer description of how the guy was busted. Current bidding is at $303 with 3 days remaining, and I have no idea why anybody would freaking pay that. But hey, if you're interested I'll sell you the lingerie section from a JCPenney catalog and an empty box of Trojans for the same price.
eBay Auction
Thanks Amanda and Matt, may you never have to post a similar auction.
Aug 14 2008 Taj Mahal: Largest LEGO Set Ever Created
Dwarfing even the 5,195 piece Millennium Falcon, comes LEGO's newest, and largest, set ever: The Taj Mahal. Weighing in at 5,922 pieces, the $300 set ships mid September. But the thing that gets me is that it's only 20" wide and 16" tall. That's not very big.
The famous Taj Mahal palace of India is known all over the globe for its incredible beauty and elegance. Now you can recreate this modern wonder of the world for yourself! Designed for experienced builders, the LEGO Taj Mahal model features advanced building techniques, rare elements and colors, and realistic details of architecture. With over 5,900 pieces, the Taj Mahal makes an awesome addition to any LEGO collection!
As I'm sure many of you know, Taj Mahal is actually a mausoleum built by Emperor Shah Jahan for his favorite wife. Touching, I may build this set in remembrance of a favored pet. But the wife -- Pfft -- she'll be lucky to get a DUPLO grave marker.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Taj Mahal: Largest LEGO Set Ever Created "
Aug 14 2008 Guy At Casino Runs Out Of Money, Tries To Bet Weed, Cards Being Dealt Does Not Ensue
Some guy, who may or may not have just set a world record for gravity bong hits, ran out of money while gambling in a Fresno casino, and, instead of cutting his losses and leaving, tried to bet a bag of weed. But Captain Beasters quickly realized his mistake, and, removing the bag from the table, opted for a smaller bet -- you know, just a couple buds. Long story short, he got arrested -- despite showing the cops a pretty convincing Cannabis Club Card he scored off the internet.
Now listen folks -- when you run out of money at the casino, it's time to leave. It is NOT time to throw weed or blow down on the table. You go back to your hotel, retrieve the $40 you stashed for return busfare, and treat yourself to the nicest hooker two Jacksons can buy. Seriously, you ever rolled a blunt on a prostitute's ass? You have? Jesus, I haven't lived. Blow too? Wow. Tell me -- did you lose any in her actual a-hole?
Thanks to Kris, who once bet me I wouldn't follow through with the ugliest hooker I could find. Haha, pay up Kris! Seriously, I want to get this rash checked out.
Aug 14 2008 That's Freaking Huge!: Scale Model Shanghai
This is a scale model of what Shanghai will look like in 2020 if they complete all the buildings slated to be up by that time. The model takes up over 1,000 square feet and resides on the third floor of the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum. Pretty impressive Shanghai, but I completed a much larger scale model years ago. It was 1:2 scale replica of one of my nuts. Sadly, it was too big to display in the backyard. And that, students, is where the moon came from. This concludes your astronomy lesson for the day, tomorrow: how I invented black holes.
Hit the jump for several more worthwhile shots of the model.
Continue Reading " That's Freaking Huge!: Scale Model Shanghai "
Aug 14 2008 What's Google Maps Hiding From Us?
This is a picture from Google Maps from somewhere in Holland that looks suspiciously clone-stamped (see the similar looking light colored treetops?). So, Google -- what're you trying to hide, and why? Is it giant "Yahoo Rules!" sign? A monster penis-and-balls somebody mowed into their pot farm? WHAT IS IT? Inquiring minds want to know. Go here to see the actual spot in Google Maps, then post your guess. Mine is 5' 8", 178 lbs. Step right up folks, I'm a carny!
Aug 14 2008 Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know)
First the Montauk Monster, then a chupacabra, and now....Bigfoot?
Two Bigfoot hunters claim they have the body of one and plan to release a photo and what they claim is DNA evidence at a news conference in Palo Alto on Friday.The Bigfoot is claimed to have been found in the woods of northern Georgia by Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, and the claim is being supported by a Bay Area Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi, a multiple local Democratic candidate.
I copied the entire press release for the news conference after the jump, so you can check out all the claims, but I'll post a couple of the more interesting ones here:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall. *It weighs over five hundred pounds. *It is male. *Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel. *From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide. *The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
So folks, what's the deal? I'll continue to follow the story and hit you with an update if there's anything groundbreaking revealed at the press conference tomorrow, provided it's not, "Haha, tricked you!" If that's the case I'll bury this post and pretend I never wrote it. Geekologie Writer: 1, Journalistic Integrity: 0.
Hit it for the press release and a video news report, and yes, that is supposed to be a photo of the thing stuffed in a freezer.
Continue Reading " Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know) "
Aug 14 2008 How To: Make A Cardboard Boba Fett Helmet
There's an Instructables out there that teaches the do-it-yourselfer how to make their own Boba Fett helmet out of cardboard. You know, so you can mix universes and play PEW PEW with this kid in his backyard. Unfortunately, no matter how good your helmet turns out, you're still a 30-year old Trick-or-Treater. Which is just pathetic unless you score a couple full sized candy bars and some wax lips. And if that's the case, quick -- gimme a sheet, I'm coming with you! Also, hand over a freaking Snickers.
Hit the jump for a picture of the comfortable interior.
Continue Reading " How To: Make A Cardboard Boba Fett Helmet "
Aug 14 2008 Audi R8 That Would Make James Bond Proud
Some guy who insists on remaining anonymous but whose name is Chris Donovan of Denver, Colorado (kidding) has customized an Audi R8 with a ton of ridiculous awesomeness.
The Audi R8 Blackbird is perfect for gadget lovers, sporting "four GPS units, two radar detectors, police scanner, CB radio, kill switch for all rear lights, and high-speed broadband Internet with Wi-Fi running on a tablet PC."
Oh, and did I mention it's packing a liquid cooled infrasonic wave-pulse generator (2:10 in the video) that can fry your balls? I think it's one of those things Basher Tarr used in Ocean's Eleven to zap all the power sources within its blast radius, but I could be wrong. All I know is that I don't want any kids right now, so blast away! I even lift the lead shield off my nuts when the dentist takes X-rays. Free birth control!
Hit the jump for a video walkthrough of the car and an (off-camera) explanation by its creator. Note: Dude is clearly no James Bond.
Continue Reading " Audi R8 That Would Make James Bond Proud "
Aug 13 2008 Uh-Oh: Robot Controlled By Rat Brain Cells
Some idiotic scientists at Reading University have developed a robot that is controlled by rat brain cells. Run for your life!
The neurons are now being taught to steer the robot around obstacles and avoid the walls of the small pen in which it is kept. By studying what happens to the neurons as they learn its creators hope to reveal how memories are laid down.
As the cells are living tissue, they are kept separate from the robot in a temperature-controlled cabinet in a container pitted with electrodes. Signals are passed to and from the robot via Bluetooth short-range radio.The brain cells have been taught how to control the robot's movements so it can steer round obstacles and the next step, say its creators, is to get it to recognize its surroundings.
Apparently they then plan to disrupt the memories in an attempt to recreate Alzheimer's and Parkinson's like conditions. Now I'm all for the better understanding and curing of disease, but please, for the love of the human race, please be careful you crazy assholes! One time my mom found a rat in the basement and it was my job to try to beat it to death with a broom. You know what it did? The little f***er bit me. Now if he had been controlling a BigDog, I'd have been a goner. Just saying, have you ever seen The Matrix? I haven't, is it worth renting?
Hit the jump for a short video of the rat-brained robot in action.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Robot Controlled By Rat Brain Cells "
Aug 13 2008 Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not)
A Texas cop was on a routine fence inspection drive (WTF?) when he found a strange creature running in the road. He claimed it was hairless, had long back legs, short front legs, and a massive snout. So he started filming it with the car's camera. Hit the jump to see the video and hear an interview with the cop. So, what do you think, is it a chupacabra? No, it's not. How do I know? Simple. 1. The chupacabra is a creature of the night, they don't wake up from their daytime siesta until after nightfall. 2. It's nothing like what I imagined it should look like. Chupacabras should be half human, half lizard -- that would be freaking sweet. This thing is the bastard child of a coyote that stuck it to your neighbor's dog. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly 3. Is it sucking a goat's teet? I see no goat, I see no teet, I can't see my dick past my beer bellly anymore, and I see no chupacabra. *slams case closed for emphasis* Suck it, Matlock!
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not) "
Aug 13 2008 OMG, Double Entendre!: The Floppy Shirt
Nice, but where's the 3½" floppy for us less fortunate guys? Or, for The Superficial Writer, a 2" flash drive? Haha, I peeked over the urinal divider!
Why We Always Write to the Hard Disk [gizmodo]
Aug 13 2008 Is This The Car Of The Future? (Hint: No)
This is a BMW concept car designed by Transportation Design students Jai Ho Yoo and Lukas Vanek from the instituo Europeo di Design. They imagined the ZX-6 after being asked what the vehicles of 2015 would look like. Now call me crazy, but isn't 2015 just 7 years away? These guys are nuts. Besides, by 2015 we're not going to be driving cars anyways. Nope, the only thing we'll be driving is golf balls -- on Mars. ZOMG, Interplanetary Olympics!
Aug 13 2008 ZOMG! A Legend Of Zelda Philosophy Book
So, there's a Legend of Zelda philosophy book coming out sometime in the near future. I may learn to read yet!
With both young and adult gamers as loyal fans, The Legend of Zelda is one of the most beloved video game series ever created. The contributors to this volume consider the following questions and more: What is the nature of the gamer's connection to Link? Does Link have a will, or do gamers project their wills onto him? How does the gamer experience the game? Do the rules of logic apply in the game world? How is space created and distributed in Hyrule (the fictional land in which the game takes place)? How does time function? Is Zelda art? Can Hyrule be seen as an ideal society? Can the game be enjoyable without winning? The Legend of Zelda and Philosophy not only appeals to Zelda fans and philosophers but also puts video games on the philosophical map as a serious area of study.
This book might actually be alright, I hope they teach it in college. Because the required class I had to take sucked. Well, except for the girl that sat in front of me. Man, she had a pair of Descartes on her that would've....what? I already used that joke? Well shit. Okay, then philosophize on this for a minute: If a tree falls in Hyrule and I'm busy banging Zelda, is it true she can still get pregnant even though I was doing it from behind? She's already a week late and I'm getting nervous.
The Legend Of Zelda: The...Philosophy Book (Huh?) [kotaku]
Thanks to Richard, who knows that all things Zelda make my heart go pitter-patter.
Aug 13 2008 Wicked Fountain Makes Things Out Of Water!
This is an awesome fountain that can make words and dolphins and rings and lightning bolts and all kinds of other awesome designs using water. It's really freaking neat and you should watch it all. The only thing that could have made it better is if, instead of regular water, they used the water left over from boiling hotdogs. Mmmm, hotdog water.
Thanks to Gregg, who can actually do this pissing.
Aug 13 2008 Wait, What?: Inflatable Art Turd Flies Away
I don't even know. Apparently American artist (artist used very lightly) Paul McCarthy created an exhibit entitled "Complex Shit" that consisted of an inflatable dog turd the size of a house. Well, the inflatable pew got loose from and wreaked havoc in Switzerland.
The wind carried it 200 meters (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.
Wow, those kids are officially f***ed for life. Way to go, Paul (I loved Hey Jude by the way). Now I hate to start an argument about whether or not an inflatable dog turd the size of a house should be considered art or not, but I did take an art history class in college, so I am an authority. And let me tell you -- the girl that sat beside me had a pair of Titians on her that would've given Michelango's David a boner.
NOTE: I made the crappy picture. Photo fake, story real.
Flying piece of art causes museum chaos in Switzerland [yahoonews]
Thanks to Ryan, who once flew around the world in 80 days a turd.
Aug 13 2008 Coming In For A Landing!: The Mile High Bed
Thanks everybody for all the birthday wishes yesterday. That was awesome, and I love you all. But today's another day, and...wait a minute -- it's International Left Handers Day! Another day of celebration for me! Shake left-handed, eat and drink left-handed, or give yourself a stranger, WHEE!
Anyway, the Mile High Bed was made my MotoArt, the same company that made the engine cowling reception desk and ejector seat office chair. Constructed from two DC-9 rear stabilizers and a C-130 inner flap, the bed promises to comfortably accommodate yourself and two additional passenger (preferably sexy stewardesses). Unfortunately, price is only available via company contact, which means a freaking fortune. Pfft, who needs a Mile High Bed anyways? Not I. Now a 200 MPH Bed -- that's where it's at. Ladies, to the race car bed! But please note: Be quiet coming in, my parents are asleep, and also, I'm entitled to make all the VROOM VROOM noises I want during the race. VROO....oh, checkered flag. Champagne me, I'm ready for a nap.
Aug 12 2008 Buy It For Me!: Every NES Game Released
There's an eBay auction going on right now for an NES and every game ever released in a gray cartridge (no golden Zeldas), along with two that never were (California Raisins and Final Fantasy 2)!
This is it! Every NES cartridge ever made in a gray cartridge. About half the games have the instruction manual. This auction also includes a complete NES System with mint everything, including the posters and warrantee. A boxed Four Score with 2 extra controllers is also included, plus everything else you see on these pics. This feat took me years and thousands to complete. This is my most prized collection which I do not want to give up, but I have some serious family issues where money is needed now.
The auction has a Buy It Now price of $3,800, and, seeing how I am turning 14 today, I thought all you loyal Geekologie readers might want to band together and help me buy it. Seriously, if every one of you just donates a dollar, then I'll only have to cover $3,500 myself.
Well folks, the blogging is done, time to hit the streets! Literally -- I'm gonna have to sell myself for an hour to afford birthday shooters. See you all tomorrow!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " Buy It For Me!: Every NES Game Released "
Aug 12 2008 Sunday School: The Holy Ghost Church Rave
This is a bunch of people going nuts and flailing around as the Holy Ghost fills their souls to the point of explosion, all set to techno DRUM AND BASS. I thought it was okay, particularly starting around the 1:00 mark. I definitely don't remember any of this at my Sunday school, but I did meet Jesus once at a rave. In retrospect, he could've just been a guy with long hair wearing a glowstick halo, but if that was the case then answer me this: how'd he get such good ecstasy? Thanks Jesus, best roll EVER.
Original video, sans techno, after the jump in case you care.
Continue Reading " Sunday School: The Holy Ghost Church Rave "
Aug 12 2008 Highly Realistic 3-D Facial Animations
Alter Ego, a division of Pendulum Studios, is apparently kicking ass and taking names in the field of 3-D facial animation.
The guys over at AlterEgo have developed proprietary "facial performance software", which combined with special mo-cap hardware, can produce unbelievably real digital faces in record time. Their work has been featured in motion pictures, commercials, animation and video games including Dark Sector and the forthcoming Silent Hill 5.
There's a video after the jump of some faces in action (that I lovingly embedded in high quality so you could get the full effect), which is pretty impressive. So the real question is this: what does this mean for the adult entertainment industry? Because I'll tell you one thing -- I wouldn't be caught dead watching a damn CG porno.
UPDATE, FROM HELL: Ha, so I was wrong.
Hit the jump for another picture and the video.
Aug 12 2008 From Me To You On My Birthday: A Gallery Of Women In Princess Leia Golden Bikinis
There's a website out there appropriately named Leiasmetalbikini that is dedicated to, well, Princess Leia's metal bikini. You can buy them, sell them, discuss them, and, most importantly, peruse a huge gallery of chicks dressed in them. I flipped through and posted a bunch of my favorites after the jump (which you WILL look at), but there are literally hundreds -- so make sure to check them out. Just consider this a little gift from me to you. That way, you can't say I never got you anything. Seriously though, this might very well be the most selfless act ever performed on a person's own birthday. Quick, saint me!
Hit it for the MASSIVE gallery.
Aug 12 2008 Olympic's Blue Screen Of Death Moment
Apparently a computer went blue screen of death during the opening ceremonies at the Olympics a few days ago. Yep, right when a flying Li Ning was about to wrap up the torch-lighting ceremony too. No idea what the screen was actually supposed to be displaying, but if I had to guess, I'd say definitely not that. Does this count as an epic fail? I was gonna put it in the title, but I know some of you are sensitive about what counts and what doesn't. So, what's the ruling? And how about, instead of a blue screen of death, it was somebody farming gold in World of Warcraft. Would that count?
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Aug 12 2008 Oh Great, Now There's A LittleDog Too
Remember when Boston Dynamics heralded the robot apocalypse with the creation of the BigDog? Well now the uncaring bastards have made a LittleDog too. You know, one that isn't as big or loud as the original. Why? To kill you easier.
LittleDog is a quadruped robot for research on learning locomotion. Scientists at leading institutions use LittleDog to probe the fundamental relationships among motor learning, dynamic control, perception of the environment, and rough terrain locomotion.
Run for the hills! I imagine a scenario that plays out something like this: A platoon of BigDogs are released into the wild, each with a payload of several LittleDogs. When a human presence is detected in the area, a LittleDog is deployed, where it seeks out said humans and kills them (possibly by self-detonation). This is repeated until I'm the only one alive and living in an underground bunker. At this time, I manage to capture a BigDog, and, in an attempt to create a race of cyborgs to battle my robot overlords, mate with said beast. But in my haste, I fail to realize I've captured a male model! I bang it every day but never produce any cyborgs. Then I die. And that, my friends, is how the human race dies out. Happy ending!
Hit the jump for two more robots of the apocalypse that Boston Dynamics has created, RISE, a climbing bot, and RHex, which can pretty much do anything, including swim.
Aug 12 2008 Google Streets: Now With Drunks And Fire!
There are all sorts of neat things to spot with Google Earth and Google Street View. Apparently including some guy that's shitcanned and passed out in his neighborhood.
When this drunken Aussie was shaken awake by police he prayed none of the neighbors had seen him collapsed on the curb. Unfortunately millions could gaze at his slumped form. For at the moment he passed out, Google's Street View camera car was filming in that corner of Melbourne. And the man - identified only as Bill, 46, - is not happy. The fisherman who had been drowning his sorrows at a funeral, said: "I wasn't thinking there would be someone driving by with a camera."
Now I've never been to a jeans and tennis shoe funeral, but I'm sure they exist. But Bill, a word of advice -- there is ALWAYS somebody driving by with a camera. If it's not Google, it's the government or a psycho ex-girlfriend. Or maybe the PI your wife hired to catch you cheating. My point is this: if you have to pass out, keep your legs out of the freaking street. Because if the camera car had been driving anything like I do, now performing a Google search for "your legs" wouldn't find any matches.
Hit the jump to see a picture of a Google Street View of a house on fire from Sherwood, Arkansas.
Continue Reading " Google Streets: Now With Drunks And Fire! "
Aug 12 2008 OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?
Aug 11 2008 It's About Freaking Time: An Invisibility Cloak
Scientists at the University of California Berkeley have announced they're one step closer to the development of an invisibility cloak.
The light-bending effect relies on reversing refraction, the effect that makes a straw placed in water appear bent.
One approach used nanometre-scale stacks of silver and magnesium fluoride in a "fishnet" structure, while another made use of nanowires made of silver.Light is neither absorbed nor reflected by the objects, passing "like water flowing around a rock," according to the researchers. As a result, only the light from behind the objects can be seen.
The team says the principles could one day be scaled up to make invisibility cloaks large enough to hide people.
Sweeeeet. Can you imagine the chaos once everybody gets their hands on an invisibility cloak? The entire world will collapse and I'll die trapped underneath a bench in the women's locker room.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, that really is me in the picture with an invisibility helmet I've been developing the past couple months. Works like a charm!
Invisibility cloak 'step closer' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Ema, Popadopolis, Paul, and moe mentos, all of whom are ninjas and don't need invisibility cloaks.
Aug 11 2008 Sweet!: LEGO Donkey Kong Game
This is a video of a Donkey Kong game made with LEGO Mindstorms RCX. You push a button, the opening game audio plays, and then Kong starts throwing barrels. Mario jumps over them, but never makes any forward progress. And sometimes the barrels actual hit him, which, at least in the real game, results in a death, a thrown controller, and a barrage of profanity. But then your mommy says no more video games for the rest of the night and you, in a rage, call her a bad name. Unfortunately, your father hears so you take off running and lock yourself in your bedroom. Then, while he's punching through the door, you contemplate the best way to survive a three-story dive out the window.
Hit the jump to see another video from the back showing how it all works.
Aug 11 2008 Paint Drip Table Is Neat, Drippy, Trippy
This is a table from designer John Nouanesing. It's called Paint or die but Love Me. If you can't tell because pictures don't work on your fancy electronic typewriter or something, the table looks like it's made of dripping paint. Neat idea, John, but I think it's missing something like, oh I don't know -- legs. You designed a table and forgot the legs. You're a maroon!
NOTE: Please don't email or comment to let me know that the drips are, in fact, the legs. I think you and I both know that's bullshit and you're a witch or sorcerer for even insinuating.
Awesome liquid table [qbn]
Thanks to Melissa, who actually made a table out of paint. Which, by mathematical theorem, makes her mad cooler.
Aug 11 2008 Montauk Monster Toast Surfaces On eBay
Some clown of asses sold a piece of Montauk Monster toast on eBay.
The life-changing adventure that will culminate with your successful bidding and acquisition of this item all began yesterday morning. In all honesty the morning began like any other for me. I woke gently to the peaceful soft-rock sounds of my local adult contemporary station. After hearing about the local bridge club and their quest to raise funds for their summer charity drive, I was finally compelled to matriculate to the kitchen for my normal Thursday breakfast of fresh grapefruit, small bowl of raisin bran (skim milk), slightly buttered toast, coffee, and 8 ounces of pomegranite juice. I was particularly looking forward to the juice as it is precisely the anti-oxidant superpower pick-me-up I need to help me attack the day.
But my interest and consciousness was quickly rocked to unspeakable heights when I witnessed what happened next. That toast I eluded to earlier had harmlessly popped up from the toaster as normal. But when I grabbed the first piece to lightly glaze with margarine I was stopped in my tracks the moment I saw the ghostly impression of none other than the unbelievable montauk monster laying peacefully in the slightly charred surface of my morning toast. A wave of both horror and wonderment washed over me as I quickly understood what the bystanders that found the actual beast must have felt during those fateful seconds on the beach.
Uh-huh. The winning bid was $810, but the winner has 0 feedback. So it's unlikely they're actually gonna pay for a piece of toast with a monster scraped into it. But there certainly was a lot of interest -- and questions!
Q: I plan to eat this toast. Will I be guaranteed a hint of monster in the flavor? Either way I'm fat and plan to eat it!A: Well, as I said above, eating this toast would be like using the hope diamond as a door stop. But if you insist on eating it after you win the bidding, then you should find it will taste like any other piece of toast. Thanks, David
Q: What brand of pomegranate juice were you drinking?
A: I only drink POM Wonderful. It's too important of a part of my diet to skimp and pinch pennies. Thanks, David.Q: I was wondering if I can get a couple eggs on the side? Would that add to the cost of shipping? Can you also include a couple of those little grape jelly containers that you get at Denny's? Thanks a lot.
A: This auction is for legendary Montauk Monster Toast only. Sorry no eggs on the side. Thanks, DavidQ: Can I get the toast with eggs and bacon?
A: This auction is for toast only. No eggs, no bacon. Sorry. DavidQ: Can I get it with out the crust?
A: This toast will be a full piece of toast as seen in the picture. If you win the auction then you can take the crust off. Thanks, Dave
Oh man, I hate the crust too. It's like bread skin. And you know what they say: skin is in, but fat is where it's at. And also, my pants. My pants are where it's at. If we're talking about my wallet -- but if we're talking about a party, forget about it. These pants haven't even seen a friendly get-together in months.
eBay Auction
via
EBay Seller: 'Montauk Monster' Turns Up on Piece of Toast [foxnews]
Thanks to Kenny Rogers, who in 1997 banged a hooker with a drumstick from his chicken shack.
Aug 11 2008 UPDATE: 8 People Buy $1,000 'I Am Rich' iPhone App, Now With Video Tour!
Armin Heinrich made a $1,000 iPhone application called "I Am Rich" that doesn't do anything but open a picture of a glowing red gem. That way, nobody will feel bad about stealing your phone. And, God willing, punching you in the teeth with a car.
The app displays a glowing red gem on a user's iPhone screen for the sole purpose of proving to onlookers one is of the moneyed class. That's all it does.
You know, there are a lot better ways to let people know you're rich than a damn iPhone application. Including, but not limited to: grillz, throwing money from your car, and getting your member gold plated and/or diamond encrusted. But the real sick part of this story is that 8 people bought the application before iTunes pulled it. And you know what? IT WAS ME 8 TIMES! Suck it, peasants!
UPDATE: Video tour of the app and a link to a hacked version after the jump thanks to Tony, who may or may not be in the mob.
Hit the jump for several more pictures, a video tour, and a link to the hacked app. You're rich!
Continue Reading " UPDATE: 8 People Buy $1,000 'I Am Rich' iPhone App, Now With Video Tour! "
Aug 11 2008 The Telemegaphone Is Now Accepting Calls
The telemegaphone is a combination telephone and megaphone, hence the clever name.
Telemegaphone Dale stands seven meters tall on top of the Bergskletten mountain overlooking the idyllic Dalsfjord in Western Norway. When you dial the Telemegaphone's phone number the sound of your voice is projected out across the fjord, the valley and the village of Dale below.
Telemegaphone Dale is wind powered and self-reliant. Recently however, the weather has been exceptionally calm in Dale and there has been a massive amount of people calling.If the Telemegaphone doesn't pick up, just give it a few hours to recuperate and try again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Awesome -- finally somebody who will listen to me. Hello, Dale? Are there any pretty birds around? TWEET TWEET! Here birdy birdy! How's the view? Is it as awesome as I'm imagining? Is there a rainbow? I bet there's a rainbow. There is, isn't there? Shit, was that just Bigfoot? Haha, made you look. Quick, a unicorn! Jesus, you're gullible. *flush* What? No, I'm not calling from the bathroom. Wait, don't hang up! I need you. You're my only friend. You and the woodland creatures are all I have. Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep? Please? Okay, now let's so goodnight at the same time. Ready? Goodnight! Oh, you were off, let's do it again. Hello? HELLO?
Thanks to Abraham, the OG Emancipation Proclamater.
Aug 11 2008 Weapon Wielding Wobots Worry World
This is one of the most disturbing videos I've seen in a long time. It's two robots going at it with medieval weaponry. I have no idea why they exist, or what they're demonstrating, but I can't believe some shmuck programmed robots to swing weapons. WTF were you thinking? Like I don't already have enough to worry about. This is definitely gonna give me nightmares and daymares. But hopefully not a rash. I just got over the last one and can finally sit down on the toilet again. I freaking hate hovering.
Youtube
Thanks Brian, I love fearing for my life.
Aug 11 2008 Woman Knitting Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 Scarf, Will Be About 30 Feet Long Finished
Cassie from Georgia is knitting a Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 scarf. Why? Because she's awesome, that's why. So far it's about 1/3 done and already over 10 feet long. So it's gonna be one hell of a long scarf. Keep you real warm. Now I'm not sure who that guy is in the picture there, but if I had to guess, I'd say a man that knows what's up -- knitting and Irish whiskey, always a good time. You start out making a sweater for your sister, and end up knitting yourself a night in the slammer. Survival Tip: Knit your asshole closed.
Hit the jump for one more picture, along with a link to her project blog.
Aug 8 2008 Yes! DIY Elf Ears: No Experience Required
We've posted elf ears before here on Geekologie, but those involved some sort of "surgical procedure" and "money". Well now there's an Instructable on how to do it yourself with the help of a friend! Okay, not really. The article just discusses the things to consider if you're interested in getting it done. So, I'll go ahead and post the DIY myself.
1. Find a pair of scissors. The sharper the better. The scissors you have from kindergarten should be fine.
2 Score some rubbing alcohol. Take a few shots.
3. Ask yourself, "Do I really want elf ears?" If the answer is no, repeat step 2, possibly alternating shots and bong hits.
4. Cut a triangular chunk out of your upper ear. You should be bleeding at this point.
5. Sterilize a needle with a lighter, thread with fishing line or yarn, and sew your ear back together in the desired shape.
6. Put some tape around your ear to hold it together and prevent strain on the stitches.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 for the other ear.
8. Take a picture, preferably topless.
9. If you are a chick, send me that picture. If you are a dude, throw it away, I don't care about your elf ears.
10. If you are hot, I will marry you.
11. Change your name to Zelda.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures, including some after they've healed a bit.
Continue Reading " Yes! DIY Elf Ears: No Experience Required "
Aug 8 2008 Eye Candy: Lightning Strike In Slow Motion
This is a video of lightning filmed in slow motion. It is wicked awesome and restored my faith in God.
UPDATE: Lost $5 on a lotto scratch-off. There is no God.
UPDATE: Got the prize I wanted in my Happy Meal. God loves me!
UPDATE: Wife came home. Definitely no God, at least not a merciful one.
Slow Motion Lightning Video Is Mind-Blowing, Will Sell A Thousand Slo-Mo Cameras [gizmodo]
Aug 8 2008 GoateeSaver Saves Goatee, Not Self Respect
The GoateeSaver looks like the thing they made Hannibal Lecter wear and protects your goatee while you shave in case you have the shakes or are prone to seizures. The $20 device has height and width adjustments (those three silver rollers) so it's one size adjusts to most. You just bite the attached bit, shave, and you're good to go. Except for my roommate, who just discovered I covered his bit with superglue. What's that? I can't understand a word you're saying, you look stupid as f***.
GoateeSaver, the grooming accessory for the clumsy, inept, or hungover [dvice]
Aug 8 2008 Walking With Dinosaurs: The Live Experience
Remember that BBC series Walking With Dinosaurs that featured CG dinosaurs wandering around eating and killing each other? Yeah, the one you'd get good and high before watching. Well now it's a live show, and it's coming on a 2-year tour of the U.S.! Maybe even to a city near you. Oh happy day!
Fifteen roaring, snarling "live" dinosaurs mesmerize the audience and are awe-inspiring as when they first walked the earth. The stars of the show include Tyrannosaurus Rex, Utahraptor, Stegosaurus, and the largest of them, the Brachiosaurus, which is 36 feet tall and 56 feet long from nose to tail.The show depicts the dinosaurs' evolution spanning their entire 200 million year reign. The history of the world is played out with almost cinematic realism, including scenes of the daily interactions between dinosaurs. you will see how carnivorous dinosaurs evolved to walk on two legs, and how the herbivores fended off their more agile predators.
Okay, I know what you're thinking, "Wow, animatronic dinosaurs, big freaking deal. I don't even have kids to take." Well if that's what you thought you're clearly missing the point here. Which, obviously, is this: Sex. with. dinosaurs! Just saying, without a time machine it might be the best chance you've got.
Walking With Dinosaurs Official Site
Thanks fluffyabortion, I call dibs on the Stegosaurus.
Aug 8 2008 The Last Video Game Obama Played Was...
Pong. Jesus, at least lie and say Super Mario Galaxy. But to Obama's credit, when McCain was asked the same question he answered "rolling a hoop down a dirt road with a stick", which, to the best of my knowledge, isn't even a video game. So the question remains: can we really trust a president that hasn't killed a hooker in Grand Theft Auto? The prosecution rests.
Geekologie Writer '08: Totally not afraid to kill hookers.
Hit the link to read a little interview with Obama with other, similar questions, like who gets to control the remote in his house (answer: HGTV).
Barack Obama: My Pop-Culture Favorites [entertainmentweekly]
Thanks Craig, you can be my running mate.
Aug 8 2008 It's Paper!: Montauk Monster Mystery Solved
Remember Brian Chan? He's Geekologie's Folder In Residence. Well this morning he wrote to let me know he singlehandedly solved the Montauk Monster mystery: It's a single piece of folded paper! ZOMG, government conspiracy! This just proves the point I've been trying to make for awhile now: when there's no simple answer, blame the government. They're bound to have f***ed up somehow. And also, taxes. They make you pay them.
Hit the jump for a close-up and comparison shot showing the monster for what it really is.
Continue Reading " It's Paper!: Montauk Monster Mystery Solved "
Aug 8 2008 Questionable: Guy Makes 3-D Business Cards
Some guy named Emerson Taymor had himself some 3-D business cards made. It probably isn't a new idea, but hey, it's the first I've seen it. Regardless, I found them kind of questionable (even ignoring the goofy picture). Don't get me wrong: I love wearing 3-D glasses as much as the next guy that dropped acid with his bagel this morning, I'm just saying they seem gimmicky. But being the intrepid reporter that I am, I gave Emerson the benefit of the doubt. So I visited his website to find out what kind of act he performs for birthday parties that warrants such an unusual card, and hello placeholder! Wow Emerson, I don't even know if you can make balloon animals. But you have inspired me. To include a phone number on my business card that I may activate some time in the future.
Hit the jump for two more pictures of the 3-D cards in 2-D form.
Continue Reading " Questionable: Guy Makes 3-D Business Cards "
Aug 8 2008 Dark Knight Interrogation Scene Parody
This is a spoof of the interrogation scene from Dark Knight. One guy is actually playing both parts and it's moderately funny. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways because I'm that kind of asshole -- Joker can't understand what Batman is saying because of the way he talks. BOOM -- spoiled! Oh shit, here comes another -- you were adopted.
Geekologie: Ruining lives and relationships since 2006.
Thanks to Tony, Romeo, and Josh -- crimefighters that battle injustice the old fashioned way: in front of the computer. With a beerbelt.
Aug 7 2008 Seriously, What Could Go Wrong?: United States Military To Be 30% Robotic By 2020
The U.S. military has a goal -- that it's 30% robotic in twelve years. Why? Because robots don't feel pain, and when they die you just solder them back together or build a bitchin' chair out of the scrap metal.
While advances in robot technology will probably result in more radical robot designs and allow for the military's goal of a 30-percent robotic force, there will always be human involvement in the control process. Researcher Bill Smart had this to say about our future robot army:"It's a chain of command thing. You don't want to give autonomy to a weapons delivery system. You don't want the robot to make the wrong decision."
Wow, somebody actually talking some sense for once. Clever, Bill. Or should I say smart? Get it? Because that's your last name. No, I'm not making fun of you. Jesus, it was a compliment you jackass.
Anyway, this whole human vs. robot for control of weapons systems is a real Catch 22 (love you Joseph). On the one hand, you don't want robots to have any control over anything, because all they want to do is kill us all and have oily robotic orgies. But on the other hand, you put a man in front of a giant red button that reads "DO NOT PUSH, THE WORLD WILL END" and 9 times out of 10 -- as soon as nobody's watching -- he's got his pants around his ankles and is mashing that thing with his dick like candy's gonna rain from the sky.
U.S. Military To Be 30 Percent Robotic In Twelve Years [io9]
Thanks to Karilyn, whose radiant beauty had originally distracted me from giving her credit for the tip.
Aug 7 2008 Giant Trackball: Ass-Assisted PC Peripheral
The Backball Chair is actually a giant trackball you can use to control a computer. Designed by Interaction Architecture, it was "specifically intended for use in public spaces like airports." Of course, because that makes perfect sense. Seriously, why use a mouse when you can roll your ass right off a giant trackball. Talk about a time-saver. Seriously though, I liked the idea enough to build one out of my spare testicle. My roommate just finished giving it a whirl, and I'm hoping for some positive feedback. So buddy, what'd you thi....WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SKID MARKS ON MY TRACKBALL?
Backball chair lets you mouse by the seat of your pants [engadget]
Aug 7 2008 Sure, Why Not?: The How To Tie A Tie Tie
The HowTie from Fred is a tie that features pictorial instructions on how to tie the damn thing. Personally, I think they look like hieroglyphics, but I've never tied a tie before. And for the rest of you out there that can't, or don't want to learn, I've got two words for you: get a blogging job. We don't wear ties. Or pants. Hell, sometimes we don't even sport underwear. Isn't that right? Back me up here, Superficial and Iwatchstuff Writers. Whoa, too close! I meant verbally.
Thanks to Britany, who once heckled me on the bus after work for not wearing drawls.
Aug 7 2008 Star Wars Wedding: A Match Made A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away....
This is a picture from a recent Star Wars themed wedding. They went all out, and every single person at the ceremony was dressed up as a character or in Star Wars fashion. The marriage was even officiated by Princess Leia herself. Which totally explains why the groom decided to rock a Mon Calamari mask -- he was ogling those boobies during the ceremony! Well played sir, I like your style.
Hit the jump for a couple more MUST SEE pictures, including photographic evidence of my claim, the sweet AT-AT cake and Ewok cupcakes, a pretty wicked Han Solo, the obvious mother-in-law, and a much larger picture of Leia, you know, because I love you guys. There's also a link to the Flickr gallery, which contains over 1,200 photos of the event.
UPDATE: And did anybody else notice the freakish similarity between this picture and the Comic-Con picture in the So Freaking Cool section to the right?
Continue Reading " Star Wars Wedding: A Match Made A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.... "
Aug 7 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Casemod, Awesome!
Spotted at QuakeCon 2008, some guy modded his computer to fit inside a barbecue grill. It (as if you couldn't tell) is the awesome. I especially like how the cooling fans glow to simulate fire. Nice touch. Now I dare someone to slap their meat on it.
One more picture of the setup after the jump.
Aug 7 2008 Luxeed Colorful Keyboards Now Available
We heard about the Luxeed Dyamic Keyboard a year ago, and now the rainbow peripherals are finally available, for $200. You can choose between a black model on which only the letters are illuminated, or a white one that has the entire keys light up. Every board has 430 LEDs and you can program each individual key's color and make lighting animations. Sure, you could use the thing for Photoshop shortcuts or colored gaming keys, but let's be honest -- this board is strictly for showing off. I mean, who doesn't want to be the first in the office with a rainbow keyboard? Unfortunately, it looks like The Superficial Writer beat me to it. Hey buddy, see you got the Luxeed, very cool. And....pink. Ha -- now that you mention it, it does match your skirt. And....dude are you wearing makeup?
Hit the jump for a video of the board in action.
Continue Reading " Luxeed Colorful Keyboards Now Available "
Aug 7 2008 Dark Knight PSAs With Batman And The Joker
This is a public service announcement featuring Batman and The Joker reminding you about the importance of wearing sunscreen. It's one of several announcements made by the Dark Knight and his arch-nemesis for the good of the public. I posted two more after the jump, one on bike safety and one about taking time out of your day to have fun. Unfortunately, there isn't one about the importance of staying in school. So kids: stay in school. You don't have to go to college, but I do recommend it if you want to experiment with drugs and alcohol.
Hit the jump for two more and a link to several others.
Continue Reading " Dark Knight PSAs With Batman And The Joker "
Aug 7 2008 We're All Gonna Die! (Just Kidding, Nothing To Worry About): Robots Learn How To Move
Despite their better judgment and several threatening letters from yours truly, researchers in Leipzig, Germany are writing software that allows robots to teach themselves how to move. This is great news.
The software mimics the interconnected sensing and processing of a brain in a so-called "neural network". Armed with such a network, the simulated creatures start to explore.The network then sends out signals to move in a particular way, and predicts where it should end up, based on that movement. If it encounters an obstacle such as itself, a wall or the floor, the prediction is wrong, and the robot tries different moves, learning about itself and its environment as it does so.
This approach is far more flexible than traditional programming, in which movements are painstakingly planned out in a well-defined space. As conditions change, so can the robot's behavior.
Uh-huh. Now I'm not saying there's nothing to worry about here, but seriously folks, these robots could never figure out how to wield a knife or gun. And I'm not just saying that because I want plenty of robot-fodder standing around while I make my escape to the moon. Wait, yes I am. Gotta look out for #1.
Hit the jump for a video simulation of a dog learning to jump a fence and humanoid dancing.
Aug 6 2008 Pure Class (And Alcohol): The Beer Belt
The Beer Belt costs $18 from Urban Outfitters and holds six cans or bottles. But I assume if you're buying this you'll be carrying bottles. And not just because they're classier (although they are), but to carry six cans, you just put your belt through a loop in one of those plastic 6-pack carriers that strangles birds. But whichever way you go, there's one thing for certain: you'll be looking damn good. And, depending on how fast you drink, chugging warm beers. Just saying, scientists invented ice for a reason.
Aug 6 2008 Radiohead's House Of Cards In LEGO Form!
Remember Radiohead's House of Cards video that was shot with lasers instead of cameras and then all the data was made available to everyone to do whatever they wanted to with it? Well Ian Mackinnon took that data and rendered the video in 3D using LEGOs. Wicked! I embedded the video in high-quality because the low-quality one was looking kind of blurry, but it's still not super. But hey, we work with what we're given, don't we? You wouldn't ask someone you allegedly love to use a pump, would you? No, because you respect what they were given. Even if they are 26 cards short of a deck. HIYO -- card tie-in!
Radiohead's House of Cards Video Rendered In 3D Using Legos [gizmodo]
Aug 6 2008 Hail Explodes Out Of Man's Toilet While In Use
Austrian man Martin Bierbauer was minding his own business, you know, getting his crap on, possibly flipping through a magazine or dirty joke book, when KA-BOOM! -- he was ass-blasted off the toilet by a barrage of hailstones from the shitty depths.
"I heard the pipes rumbling a bit, and suddenly hailstones the size of golf balls started exploding out of the toilet like it was a popcorn machine. There was an avalanche of ice that quickly filled the toilet, then the entire flat, and eventually the entire building. I ran down the stairs with the hailstones following me, and other residents did the same."
The incident at the block of flats in Eisenstadt, the capital of the province of Burgenland, was caused by hailstones flooding into a local drain during a torrential downpour, which became blocked.Local council spokesman Wolfgang Leinner said: "The pressure was too great, the hailstones had to go somewhere and they came out through the toilets it seems."
Haily shit.
Toilet rained giant hailstones to fill building [austriantimes]
Thanks to Kevin, who was using the john once when a Gremlin reached up and grabbed his balls.
Aug 6 2008 Star Trek Online Going Online, Sometime
Star Trek Online is going to be unveiled in a little over four days at the Star Trek Convention in Las Vegas (August 10th). Leonard Nimoy is set to make the announcement and show some actual gameplay footage. In case you were wondering, it's going to be a MMORPGLOLROTFLMFAO that takes place in the Star Trek universe. For those of you too lazy to go to the website:
Become part of Star Trek®: The Star Trek universe will appear for the first time in a massively multiplayer online game. Everything from the elegant domes of Starfleet Academy to the ancient temples of Vulcan, from the towers of Qo'noS to the Fire Caves of Bajor, from the mysterious Mutara Nebula to the unexplored voids of deep space, all will be represented in stunning 3-D graphics. Immerse yourself in the future of the Trek universe as it moves into the 25th century: a time of shifting alliances and new discoveries.
Adventure in the Final Frontier: Explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations in an expanding vast universe. Make contact with alien races, discover resources and uncover mysteries that will change the future of the Star Trek universe.
You Are the Captain: Command your own starship as a Federation Captain or a Klingon Warrior. Outfit it with the systems that you need to make your mark in the galaxy. Customize your ship as you see fit. Recruit, train and mold your crew into an elite force for exploration and combat.
Boy am I excited. But truthfully, there's still only one way to play Star Trek, and that's dressed in a Starfleet jumpsuit you made out of your old highschool track uniform while sitting in a cardboard Enterprise. Want to play? Good, I'll be Geordi La Forge. Okay, now where the hell is my VISOR? Oh, great. Godammit woman, I told you that is NOT your hairband anymore, that's my freaking VISOR! I need it to see.
Star Trek Online
Thanks Zakkmiester, live long and prosper. And also, ass. Get a lot of ass.
Aug 6 2008 Election '08: Voting For Star Wars Characters
These are bunch of designs that you can get on t-shirts, hats, buttons, posters, mugs, mouse pads and Maxi-pads to show support for your favorite Star Wars character in the coming election. There are several more designs, and you can even customize them so that your name appears underneath the character's so it looks like you're their running mate. The shirts start around $18, and I'm totally all over the Han Solo/Chewie ticket. Could you imagine? Han would be blasting mad chicks in the Oval Office (always being courteous and shooting second). And Chewie, well Chewie would just grunt a lot. Making him the best VP ever.
Star Wars Election '08 Products
Thanks Serene, I love your name.
Aug 6 2008 Man Proposes Using Google Earth Street View
Google recently set up some new Street Views near the Googleplex company headquarters in California. And Google employee Michael Weiss-Malik used the opportunity to re-propose to his girlfriend. That's why his sign says "Proposal 2.0" -- he had already given a traditional proposal and the woman said yes.
My original proposal was quiet and low-key. It was just some simple heart-felt words exchanged during a quiet night at home. And while Proposal 1.0 had plenty of sentiment, it was lacking in pizazz. So I did what any Silicon Valley geek would do: I decided to upgrade to "Proposal 2.0," a new improved online version. I proposed to Leslie from inside a Google Street View panorama.
Wow, Michael, that's probably the most romantic story I've ever heard. Well, minus the one about the guy that proposed with a handgun. I do like this whole Proposal 2.0 business though. I've even been inspired to do make one to my fiancée. Baby, if you're reading this:
Proposal 2.0 -- This effectively voids proposal 1.0
Woot, freedom!
Marriage Proposal in Street View! [gearthblog]
Thanks to "because nothing says true love like not even being physically present for your proposal" Craig.
Aug 6 2008 James Bond Opening Played On Dormitory Windows, Also, The Snake Game!
Well we've already seen two different episodes of window Tetris, so it was only a matter of time till people starting branching out. The video above is the opening to James Bond films, and the one after the jump is of a game of Snake. You know, where you go around eating dots and growing longer. Yeah, that one. Hellafun. Both videos were made by a group of Polish college students (ZOMG -- it's a Polish computer! HAHAHAH....holy shit I'm racist.) Seriously though, could you imagine how awesome Grand Theft Auto 4 would look like played on those windows?
A. Totally rad!
II. The sickness!
C. Dude, are you retarded?
D. OMG, there's a naked chick changing in a lower-left window at 0:14!
4. Haha, just kidding.
5. Damn you, GW!
Hit the jump to see the Snake game, which features a little Pong action at the end too.
Continue Reading " James Bond Opening Played On Dormitory Windows, Also, The Snake Game! "
Aug 6 2008 Guy Builds Himself Batman's Tumbler
Bob Dullam went and built himself Batman's Tumbler using nothing but photos of the vehicle and the actual movies. It cost somewhere between $50,000-$70,000 to complete and was built entirely by himself. It looks freaking wicked. Good looking, Bob. Next, he plans to construct a Batpod. And, after that, I'm hoping he'll build me a deck.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Aug 5 2008 Wake Up To Meat: The Wake N' Bacon
The Wake n' Bacon is a collaborative alarm clock design by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini and Hsiao-huh Hsu. It wakes you up with the delicious scent of bacon instead of beeping. How?
A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.
Simple as that. No loud noises, no breaking your alarm, just delicious bacon. Now what you need to do is keep a mini-fridge by the bed so you can toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later you can't see your penis past your pork-gut anymore because you've been eating two pounds of bacon every morning.
Thanks Mac and Liz, now make one that can cook an egg and biscuit too.
Aug 5 2008 Eh: Multi-Touch 3D Hologram Display Is Here
This is a video of Obscura Digital demonstrating their multi-touch software with Musion's Eyeliner 3D holographic projector. It's pretty neat. But you know what? I'm getting sick and tired of all these multi-touch demos where it seems the extent of what you can so is shuffle through photos and resize them. BORING. Show me somebody building a LEGO castle or something. Anything -- anything besides "look, you can toss Polaroids around in space!" I mean I can do that in real life, and it would still suck. I want to see some VR applications. I need an escape damnit, and the drugs aren't working.
Obscura Digital projects multi-touch "hologram", blows all sorts of minds [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who's anxiously awaiting holographic skin flicks.
Aug 5 2008 Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink
Well folks, it happened. Somebody went and named their energy drink after a slang term for a woman's nether region. Or a cat. The one that starts with p and ends with ussy. Yep. This is almost as bad as the German Poontang Juice.
(Our product) is unique. It is made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs.
The name Pussy shocks and demands attention - that's the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity.
Oh really? Well it looks like you may have settled for a little mediocrity yourself there, Pussy. Because I just concocted my own drink, and Assf*** is gonna take the energy supplement market by storm. From behind.
Hit the jump if you really want to see the can without the censor bar, and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink "
Aug 5 2008 Hooray, More Eye Candy!: The Vader Project
Well this must be your lucky day. Not one but two delicious eye candy galleries for you today on Geekologie. First were the SDCC costumes, and now, handpainted Darth Vader helmets. The Vader Project , a "reimagining of the iconic Darth Vader helmet by some of today's hottest pop and underground artists", was recently on display at Star Wars Celebration Japan. A lot of them are pretty cool. Hit the jump to see of my favorites, along with several links to tons more. No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. Now somebody organize a Leia Project. I'm thinking about that golden bikini. And, guilty by association, boobs.
Hit the jump for the gallery and links to tons more pictures.
Continue Reading " Hooray, More Eye Candy!: The Vader Project "
Aug 5 2008 Just Because: A Tesla Coil Guitar Amp
Well we've seen Tesla coils making music before, and we've even seen a pretty wicked plasma speaker, and now -- a Tesla coil guitar amp. Unfortunately, I don't have any more information on the thing, so I'll make some up. The device was actually constructed by the thunder god Thor out of a welded hemorrhoid donut he discarded after his ass was all better. They'll be available as mods for the latest Guitar Hero and Rock Band games, and exposure to the arc has been proven to regrow hair, but only if you lick it with a mouthful of Pop Rocks.
Aug 5 2008 I Want: This Periodic Coffee Table
This $8,550 Periodic Coffee Table features actual samples of all 92 naturally occurring elements.
By embedding all element samples in clear acrylic, they are beautifully presented and also protected from tarnishing. This format also helps to addresses health and safety issues, as all potentially toxic or corrosive substances are permanently encased in a thick layer of robust resin. Argon gas and mineral oil is further used to ampoule reactive samples and preserve their freshly cut appearance.
Sweet, but back when I went to school there were only a few elements: earth, wind, water, fire, and aether (which I always felt was a bullshit element to begin with). Anyways, I failed a test once because I wrote rain, sleet, snow, hail and tornadoes. I demanded partial credit, but my professor refused. So you know what I did? I got elemental on his ass. Specifically, I set his car on fire.
Hit the jump for some closeups and a link to the product page.
Aug 5 2008 Presidential Candidates Get Own Comics
Barack Obama and that other presidential candidate whose face looks like a gnarled tree trunk (EDIT: Wrong John -- I was thinking Kerry, this guy is actually McCain) will star in their own comics made by IDW Publishing, a San Diego comic book company.
Don't expect Captain America-versus-Superman hijinks or super-villains threatening the electoral process. Trading sound bites for word balloons, the books purport to tell McCain and Obama's life stories, independently researched and illustrated by a veteran team of writers and artists."We're not doing anything that is sensational here," said IDW special projects editor Scott Dunbier, adding that neither campaign was involved in the development of the books. "We're sticking to the facts."
Wow, these are gonna be the boringest comics ever. Sure McCain spent five years as a POW in North Vietnam, but that's about the only riveting detail. At least give the man a cape and anti-aging serum.
NOTE: The Geekologie Writer does not endorse political candidates. Political candidates endorse him!
McCain: The Geekologie Writer is great. He's made me shoot Diet Pepsi Zero out my nose and shit my pants at the same time before. Also, ladies, topless photos are the only way to the man's heart.
Obama: The Geekologie Writer once told me a dirty joke. It was funny. I can't remember exactly how it went, something about a penis walking into a bar. Hilarious.
McCain, Obama to star in their own comic books [msnbc]
Thanks to Emma for being a Wonder Woman.
Aug 5 2008 Eye Candy: Massive Gallery Of The Best San Diego Comic Con Costumes, WHEEEEEEE!
This is a massive gallery of SDCC costumes from Maximum PC's coverage of the event. I picked out about 20 of my favorites, but they have over 400, so make sure to check them out if you want to see even more. But the ones I chose are some of the awesomest. Hit the jump to find Vader, Two-Face, a bunch of others, and tons of hot chicks. But what you won't find is the blue-unitard guy. Because I already snuck him in yesterday.
Hit it for the gallery.
Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Massive Gallery Of The Best San Diego Comic Con Costumes, WHEEEEEEE! "
Aug 4 2008 Warwick Davis Responds To Accusation That Ewoks Ruined Return Of The Jedi
Interesting screencap there. Anyway, this is a video from part of Disney's Star Wars Weekends (which included the now-infamous character dance-off). It features Warwick Davis (the guy that played Wicket the Ewok and Willow) responding to the accusation that Ewoks ruined Return of the Jedi because George Lucas turned them into giant teddy bears to sell more toys. If you haven't already watched it, I'm about to spoil it for you right now: It was staged and turns into a giant song and dance about the Ewoks. Which made me question everything I know about Ewoks and my sexuality. Which isn't much: I got my shit stuck in a can of Red Bull over the weekend.
Hit the jump for a video of the song without having to watch it on a screen why Wicket sings along.
Continue Reading " Warwick Davis Responds To Accusation That Ewoks Ruined Return Of The Jedi "
Aug 4 2008 Spiderman Costume Replica On eBay
There's a pretty realistic looking Spiderman costume for sale on eBay right now. I'd bid on it, but the seller doesn't look very trustworthy (81.3% positive feedback). So if you do bid, be warned: they'll probably only send you a stained bedsheet.
This costume is one of the best replicas out there. 1 piece suit just like the movie. Made of great quality stretch lycra which has had the movie pattern printed directly into the fabric. Printed through process called dye-sublimation. Fabric color saturation is great and very movie realistic. Features muscle shading and brick pattern on the whole suit. Has complete brick pattern in the blues which is in most prints and replicas is lost in the darker shaded areas.Eye frames are made from gun metal gray resin. The lenses are 3 layers. a layer of clear plastic, a layer of super fine metal mesh, and another layer of clear plastic. The also have an airbrushed gradient around the edge to give that "movie look".
Photographs great. 3D Webs are 2 layers of acrylic. 1st black then silver laid over the top to give a movie accurate look. Features 3 zippers. 2 that go down and meet in the center under the belt and one on the back of the head. Aqua shoe sewn in would fit someone w/ around size8-11 shoe size. Suit made to fit someone around 5'7'-5'11 w/ an average build.
The bidding is already at $1,000 with more than six days remaining, so it's probably gonna go for a small fortune. Which, honestly, isn't worth it just to have a cool Halloween costume. For that kind of money the damn thing better let me crawl up buildings. Or at the very least make my Spidey senses tingle. I'm talking about my loins. Now that would be a Spiderman suit. Now who here knows how to sew?
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, the last of which you have to see, along with a link to the auction.
Aug 4 2008 Plastinkuzz: Questionable DJ Scratchers
Plastinkuzz are little stereoscopic cards that you scratch and allegedly sound like a real record. That, of course, is debatable. They're made by Art Lebedev, and come in a variety of color combinations, because that's important. Hit the jump to see said color options and a very worthwhile video that, if you make it all the way through, you win a prize. Now I hate to ruin a surprise, but your prize is one minute and twenty-eight seconds stolen from your life (kind of like "the Machine" in The Princess Bride, but far less cool). Seriously though, I've been playing the Plastinkuzz since I was a kid. Except back then we called them corduroys. I had the jacket and the pants.
Hit the jump for one more picture and a video you really should at least watch the first ten seconds of -- the second guy is hilarious.
Continue Reading " Plastinkuzz: Questionable DJ Scratchers "
Aug 4 2008 Adidaz Hellbeezy Sheeziez Comin' Zoon
Sorry, but I had a bet with a coworker I couldn't use five Z's in a post title. I think it went pretty well, don't you? Barely noticeable. So, Adidas is dropping two new pairs of Hellboy inspired footwear. Those are the two different styles there. They're both limited editions and will be priced around $150. Take a close look at that bottom pair. What do they look like? If you guessed that pair of tight, black vinyl pants I used to wear during my raving days, you guessed correct. You know, the ones that melted to me when I got too close to the bonfire. You ever peeled melted plastic off your junk? It's worse than a burning marshmallow.
Hit the jump for one more picture of the sneakers on top of a shoebox!
Aug 4 2008 Legit Looking: Handheld Super Nintendo
This is a handheld Super Nintendo made by some guy that frequents the BenHeck forums (Ben Heck being that guy that's always modding the hell out of controllers). As you can see, it's looking pretty sleek. Way sleeker than the portable Gamecube, and of equal sleekiosity to this Dreamcast. But how does it compare to its wooden brethren? Well that's up to your personal taste. And feel. Some pirates prefer a modern, plastic prosthetic when they lose a leg in battle, but I'm a purist -- pegleg all the way. Oh shit, and a parrot. Gotta have a parrot. And it should be able to cuss. And have a patch-eye and a tattoo of a naked mermaid. Otherwise, you aren't a freaking pirate, you're just an exotic pet owner with a missing leg.
Hit the jump for a couple more views, including one from the rear.
Aug 4 2008 The Shining: Now With More Robots!
I don't really like scary movies because I pissed myself in the theater during Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and all my friends still make fun of me. But I did happen to see The Shining in my youth. Remember the tricycle scene (if you don't I posted the original after the jump)? Well this is that scene recreated with the only thing that could possibly make it scarier -- robots. Now I'm not gonna say watching it made me pull a Potter here in my cube, but it did. And, uh-oh, I think a little WALL-E might have snuck out as well.
Hit the jump for the original scene from the movie.
Aug 4 2008 'The Joker' Tries To Steal Movie Posters From Local Theater, Fails, Gets Himself Arrested
Spencer Taylor, a 20-year old from Three Rivers, Michigan, dressed up as The Joker and tried to steal a bunch of Dark Knight movie posters and cardboard cutouts at a local theater.
At the time of his arrest, Taylor was wearing a purple suit and had made his face up with white foundation and red lipstick to resemble the character played by the late Heath Ledger, who played the comic book villain in the blockbuster, before his untimely death earlier this year.Police made Taylor pose for his mugshots both in and out off costume. He has been charged with larceny and malicious destruction of property.
Wow, way to suck, Spencer. On a related note, some guy dressed as the Dragon Emperor from the new Mummy movie stole a Brendan Fraser poster and everyone just felt sorry for him.
Hit the jump to see The Aborted Joker without makeup and a picture of the real one.
Aug 4 2008 Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation
Well forks -- can I call you forks? Good, anyway my loyal sporks, the Montauk Monster mystery has been solved. Turns out it was my sister. Haha, Tracey -- that's what you get for mom and dad always loving you more. Fine, so nobody has identified what the hell the beast is yet. But there is another picture, along with three horrible Photoshop fakes (all included after the jump for your FAKE!ing pleasure). Oh, and an interview with the three women that found the thing. They say they've got the corpse decomposing in a box at a friend's place. SICK! And also, start the grill. I'd really believe this was all a hoax if the three chicks seemed mentally capable of tying their shoes. But they're not. I think they're Velcro girls. So, my spoony friends, check out all the media after the jump and draw your own conclusions. But remember -- even bloated, fugly monsters need love. Isn't that right, Tracey? HOLY MOTHER OF....PUT YOUR BAG BACK ON BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH A STICK!
Hit the jump for a new picture, three obvious Photoshoppings, and a painful interview with three life failures.
Continue Reading " Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation "
Aug 1 2008 Alfa Romeo Concept Actually Being Produced
The Alpha Romeo Bertone BAT 11 looks like someone stole it from the future. Apparently the once concept car is actually hitting production. If you call making 25-50 "hitting production". I already put my name on the list, along with this guy and this guy, which means we'll probably be seeing D&G and rubidium covered models soon. There's not too much information on the car's stats, minus it goes fast and runs on the blood of virgins instead of oil. Thankfully my girlfriend promised to save herself till marriage, so I have a supply for at least the next couple years.
UPDATE: Engine seized up, the bitch was lying.
Continue Reading " Alfa Romeo Concept Actually Being Produced "
Aug 1 2008 Casting Couch: Host A Show On The Discovery Channel -- Super Testing!!
The Discovery Channel has an open casting call until midnight on August 6th looking for a male host for a new show they're producing -- Super Testing. So what is Super Testing?
The show explores the world of extreme testing - a world of explosions, planned crashes, and controlled chaos. The show is produced on a level as big as the subjects it covers. There are no scale models. No recreations. No "staged reality". Our cameras are involved in actual tests conducted by the U.S. military, government agencies, corporations and inventors around the world.
And who are they looking for?
We're looking for someone who is
:
* In his late 30s to early 40s.
* Smart - he needs to be credible in his interactions with scientists and engineers. Science, stuntman, or engineering background is a strong plus. He does not have to be an "expert" in science or engineering per se, but should grasp the science or engineering concepts at least well enough to ask the kind of intelligent questions that our intelligent viewers appreciate.
* Tough, but an "Everyman" - He should be credible dealing with military officials, mechanics, pilots, test subjects - the whole range of folks who build things and sometimes blow things up all in the name of progress. Military, construction, or mechanical engineering background is a strong plus. He should come off as knowledgeable but likeable - and definitely a man's man.
* Charismatic, but not too "hosty" - He should be able to explain the who-what-where-when-how of the testing in a clear, direct, and always conversational way. We need someone who seems comfortable in his own skin and comfortable on camera. But he should also be comfortable letting the light shine on the real stars of the show - the people who he encounters, who make "super testing" a reality.
Interesting, Discovery channel. But you could have made it a lot shorter. It should have read:
We're looking for someone who is:Mike Rowe.
And, since it's Friday and I have a man-crush on Mike Rowe that's borderline sexual, I've included several MUST MUST MUST SEE videos of Mike when he used to sell crap on QVC. If you're a Mike Rowe fan you must watch them, and even if you're not, they're hilarious. Search Youtube for a bunch more if you like them.
Continue Reading " Casting Couch: Host A Show On The Discovery Channel -- Super Testing!! "
Aug 1 2008 Segway Competition: Toyota's Winglet
The Winglet Advanced Scooter is Toyota's attempt at a smaller, more agile Segway. I wouldn't be caught dead on one, but I would ride it until I got hit by a car and launched clear off. Then I'd be caught dead on the pavement. Win-win. Skip to the second half of the video to see a woman riding it without the stupid handle in the way. It looks a lot cooler like that. Also, sweet ass-shot at 0:41. I'm not the pervert, you're the pervert. You looked didn't you? Haha, gimme that neck!
Aug 1 2008 I Called It!: The Apocalypse Is Nigh
When running from a robot, you only have to run faster than your children. Which should be easy because you tied their laces together, right? If you answered, "I would never!", then it's been nice knowing you, but you're robot fodder. Anyway, remember the post a while back about Robokiyu (pronounced Robokillyou), a robot used to extract the wounded in emergency rescue situations? Well, unsurprisingly, the robot is now going to be used to eat the dead instead of the living. Why? Because everybody the robot came to "rescue", no matter how badly injured, actually tried crawling away from the damn thing. Can you blame them? Absolutely not. Like my grandpa always told me, "I'd rather have all my red run out than let one of them thar robotech sums of bitches nom nom my gray spaghetti. You understand what I'm tellin' ya, boy?" I'd shake my head "no", but he'd keep right on, "Good, now fetch the hootch and I'll tell you about the time I caught your pa humpin' a tractor."
Weirdest Robots Ever -- Corpse-Eater Bot [asylum]
Thanks Adam and MoMan, now let's take that mother out.
Aug 1 2008 Rowling Fans Rejoice: Collector's Editions Of The Tales Of Beedle The Bard At Amazon
That's right all you Rowling/Potter fanboys, it's time to get excited. The Tales of Beedle the Bard, a $4 million book handmade by the sorceress herself, is being made into an accurate reproduction collector's edition. It'll cost $100 and be available on December 4th. So what do you get for your Benjamin?
Collector's Edition Product Features:
• All five fairy tales from the original The Tales of Beedle the Bard
• Outer case disguised as a wizarding textbook from the Hogwarts library
• Exclusive reproduction of J.K. Rowling's handwritten introduction
• 10 new illustrations by J.K. Rowling not included in the Standard Edition or the original handcrafted edition
• Velvet bag embroidered with J.K. Rowling's signature
• Metal skull, corners, and clasp
• Replica gemstones
• Emerald ribbon
• Net proceeds from the Collector's Edition and the Standard Edition support the Children's High Level Group, an organization that benefits children living in residential institutions.
Of course, if you don't want to dish out two day's pay for the thing (despite the good cause), you can get a trade paperback the same day for $7.59. Which, based on my limited mathematical abilities, is still more than I pay for a haircut. Because I shave it myself -- nuts too!
Amazon Product Page (non-collector's edition here)
Thanks Jennifer, can you teach me some magic spells?
Aug 1 2008 Because Working Out And Dieting Sucks: Scientists Develop A Workout In A Pill
Scientists at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, CA announced on Thursday that they've developed a drug that gives you the benefits of exercise without actually doing anything. Unfortunately, they tested the compound on mice instead of my bedridden lover.
Sedentary mice that took the drug for four weeks burned more calories and had less fat than untreated mice. And when tested on a treadmill, they could run about 44 percent farther and 23 percent longer than untreated mice.We have exercise in a pill," said Ron Evans, an author of the study. "With no exercise, you can take a drug and chemically mimic it."
When asked what was in the drug, Evans replied, "It's difficult to explain....but have you ever been to a rave?"
Hit the link if you want to read a really long article about the stuff.
Drug gives couch potato mice benefits of a workout [yahoonews]
Aug 1 2008 Yes Please!: Limited Edition Goonies Pumas
For every kid there's a movie that so was awesome to watch in your youth that it shaped your very being. For many, this movie was Goonies. For me, it was a sick German porno I found in my uncle's closet. But that doesn't make these limited edition Goonies Disk Blaze Pumas any less awesome. Dropping around the 6th of December for an undisclosed number of doubloons, they've got everything a gang of prepubescent treasure hunters could want in a pair of sneakers.
Puma obtained exclusive rights to the artwork and constructed this LE release out of the map on our most iconic runner from the early 1980's, the Disc Blaze. It features the infamous Disc closure system, heavy weave pull tabs and exclusive Goonies film logos on heel, sockliner and midsole. The limited Puma "List" sneaker comes in a customized burlap Goonies sack. Enjoy your adventure trying to snatch these up.
Must have!
Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
Oh man, I could sit here and copy/paste Goonies quotes forever, but I'm on a mission today. It's a top-secret operation I've cleverly named Operation Get Drunk At The Local Street Fair, Eat A Street Vended Sausage, And Buy A Bunch Of Knick Knacks I'll Regret Tomorrow.
UPDATE: I puked kielbasa all over a basket weaver. Mission Accomplished!
A bunch more of the shoes along with, because it's Friday and I love you all dearly, a video of Chunk doing the Truffle Shuffle.
Continue Reading " Yes Please!: Limited Edition Goonies Pumas "
Aug 1 2008 I'm Thirsty: Mars Ice Melted, Turned To Water
Remember the post about the Phoenix Lander spotting ice on Mars? Well now the brave little explorer has collected a sample of the stuff and cooked it in a special easy-bake oven it has on board. The result? Water.
"The fact that it melted at zero degrees Celsius leaves very little doubt that it is standard water ice," William Boynton of the University of Arizona said. He said sensors also tested the chemical makeup of the vapor and found the familiar combination of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom.
HIYO, we have water! And all it took was a little oven, huh? Well I'll get to the bottom of this Montauk Monster business yet. *jamming beast into oven* What do you think, 4 hours at 450⁰?
UPDATE: Mmmm, starting to smell real science-y. Anybody seen the baster?
Existence Of Water On Mars Confirmed [washingtonpost]