Jun 30 2008 Buzzball Could Be Fun, Could Be Pukey

Evento's Buzzball is is a giant ball with a seat in it that's being hailed as a one-person roller coaster.

At the heart of the Buzzball is a dual motor configuration, enabling the pilot to control the motion and direction of travel via left and right control triggers, which provides power to the driving wheels.

The amount of power applied to each wheel will determine the direction the Buzzball moves.

Once the Buzzball is in motion the pod maintains an upright position until the pilot turns, causing the pod to rotate inside the ball against the direction of travel, which applies a braking force and the pod to lock with the ball. This causes the pod to rotate with the ball until the weight of the pilot and pod overcomes the inertia forces and causes the Buzzball to change direction.

This is when the fun starts, as the speed will affect the degree of rotation of the pilot and pod from a partial barrel roll to complete and multiple rotations!

Hit the jump for a video of the ball in action.

Continue Reading " Buzzball Could Be Fun, Could Be Pukey "

Jun 30 2008 Shock Absorber Sports Bras: Because You Don't Want To Be Flopping Around Like This

In the same "what would I look like wearing..." vein as last month's Knicker Pickers website, comes Shock Absorber sports bras. Of course they've gone about things a little differently. Instead of actual video of chicks walking around in their intimates, Shock Absorber has gone the CG route. You just choose a breast size A - FF/GOMG and then a level of activity from light (yoga) to extreme (running) and the website uses a CG model to show you an animation of what your boobs look like during said activity with 1. no bra 2. a regular bra and 3. a Shock Absorber bra. Needless to say I went straight for the FF's at extreme, and let me tell you what: something magical happened. The company, in an attempt to pawn off their $52 bras, says breasts can move up to 14cm (~5.5 inches) during heavy exercise (which is a world of difference from last week's 36-inch claim), but I think the true value lies somewhere between those two, preferably nearer my face.

Hit the jump for the uncensored CG pictures and a link to the website so you can try it for yourself. But a warning: they're probably NSFW unless you get paid to animate CG boobs.

Continue Reading " Shock Absorber Sports Bras: Because You Don't Want To Be Flopping Around Like This "

Jun 30 2008 Drinking And Driving: Party-A-CarGo

The Party-A-CarGo isn't just the worst named product I've seen in recent history, it's also the drinking-and-drivingest. What is it you ask? Why it's a kegorator and sound system hitch, of course. The $3,000 unit holds a regular keg, 5-gallon cooling system, two 6"x9" speakers, 10" subwoofer, and 9" LCD television. No extension kits or dash-mounted taps available, "I've been drinking" sign optional, but not recommended.

Party-A-CarGo slaps a kegorator on the back of your truck [dvice]

Jun 30 2008 Cardboard Bicycles Could Be Coming Soon

Remember the kid that built that wooden bike awhile ago? That thing was sweet and made from trees. And so is this one. Phil Bridge is a 21-year old Industrial Design student that developed a cardboard bicycle. The idea is to make bikes so cheap that nobody will be put off by the thought of buying a bike as a means of personal transportation.

A typical round town bike can cost several hundred pounds. That's a large investment for people who aren't sure whether they will use it. The idea of cardboard is to completely devalue the bike.

Phil's current prototype can hold up to 168-pounds (I'm out), costs $6 to manufacture (frame only, it uses a standard chain mechanism and wheels) and will cost about $24. Allegedly it's even rainproof. It is not, however, fireproof. So be sure to park it inside if you live near a volcano.

Cardboard Bicycle Costs Just $30, Don't Leave It Out in the Rain [gizmodo]

Jun 30 2008 Awh, How Cute: Subatomic Particle Plushies

So how can we dispel the fear that the world is going to be sucked into a black hole by the CERN Large Hadron Collider and leave us all to eat in the dark? Ooh, I know -- subatomic particle plushies! That's right folks, the Particle Zoo is now selling all your favorite particles. They're $9 apiece and can be purchased separately or in sets (that's not even all of them in the picture there). Each is packed with a material appropriate for their mass (lighter ones filled with foam, heavier ones with gravel). Whee! I love soft things. But be warned: the last time I thought I was bringing a charm quark home she turned out to be strange. I did get to see her photons though.

Hit the jump for more pictures and a link to the store.

Continue Reading " Awh, How Cute: Subatomic Particle Plushies "

Jun 30 2008 How Romantic: Dinner In The Sky

Dinner In The Sky is just that -- eating while suspended 164 feet in the air via crane. The table sits 22 people and three staff in the middle. The company will hoist you anywhere they can get a permit, and the service probably costs a freaking fortune. They'll even hoist another platform to the same height if you want live music available. And, now don't tell them I told you, but if you enter coupon code 'Hovering Hooters' while ordering on the website they'll even send a few strippers up. The service is available for 8-hour sessions and I have no idea how you relieve yourself after guzzling three bottles of wine up there. But, if I had to guess, I'd say the same way you normally would -- but with real people instead of a urinal cake for target practice.

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures and promo video.

Continue Reading " How Romantic: Dinner In The Sky "

Jun 30 2008 Guitar Hero Figures From McFarlane Toys

Thats right folks, McFarlane Toys has partnered with Activision to make a line of Guitar Hero themed action figures. They'll be hitting stores in November (in time for Christmas/robot apocalypse) and will each feature 15-18 moving parts, stand abound 6" tall, and run $10-$15. The figures available will include Johnny Napalm, Lars Ümlaut, the Geekologie Writer, Axel Steel, the God of Rock, and the Devil of Country. Seriously though, I should have a damn action figure. With accessories. Like a blue-screening computer and broken cellphone. Nagging girlfriend and cubicle playset sold separately.

Hit the jump for a look at two of the other figures.

Continue Reading " Guitar Hero Figures From McFarlane Toys "

Jun 30 2008 Sweet Wheels: Dog Born With Back Legs Only

I love dogs more than I love people and that's the truth. Ask my girlfriend if you don't believe me, she has to sleep on the floor.

Hope, a Maltese puppy, was born with two little nubbins instead of front legs. So what did the people at Southern Comfort Maltese Rescue in Chattanooga, Tennessee do? Simple, they made her a pair of wheeled front legs.

The wheeled device was created by orthotist David Turnbill free of charge with makeshift shoulder joints connected to model airplane wheels. Each of the device's 'arms' can move up or down independently of the other, allowing Hope to pivot and turn. The spring-loaded prosthetic arms hook to a custom-fitted chest plate to allow Hope to lay down or sit up without removing the prosthetic.

The wheels she uses as front legs took some getting used to and at first the tiny lap dog would tip over to one side.

Now Hope is completely accustomed to the legs and can runs laps around her other puppy pals (but please, no stairs). Wow, that really warms the heart, doesn't it? Mine sure feels like it's on fire. And that's not just the spicy breakfast tacos talking. I just hope this doesn't start some sort of sick two-legged pet craze. I catch you brandishing a saw anywhere near an animal and it's gonna be you needing wheels.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video of Hope before her wheels.

Continue Reading " Sweet Wheels: Dog Born With Back Legs Only "

Jun 27 2008 Half RV, Half Houseboat, All Totally Awesome

Cool Amphibious Manufacturers International retrofits RV's to make them amphibious. You just drive the massive mother into a lake, and presto, houseboat for the weekend. I want one badly but they cost anywhere between $850,000 - $1.2 million, putting them about $850,000 - $1.2 million out of my price range. Oh well, I guess I can always steal the neighbor's RV and drive it into the lake. It might float. Some sugar in the gas tank should do the trick. Check out a link to the company's website after the jump -- they even make an amphibious SUV and sports car. Neat shit. Certainly brings new meaning the the phrase, "I drove my RV into a lake", doesn't it?

Friend: What did you get into this weekend?
Me: You know, the usual -- I drove my RV into the lake.
Friend: HA! No seriously.
Me: I'm being serious, it's amphibious.
Friend: Man, if you're just gonna lie--
Me: Fine asshole, I had sex with some chick from outerspace.
Friend: No way! Do they really have three tits?

Hit the jump for some more shots and a link to their pictureful website.

Oh, and have a great weekend!

Continue Reading " Half RV, Half Houseboat, All Totally Awesome "

Jun 27 2008 Toaster Launches Your Bread When It's Done

Freddie Yauner is a nutjob. A nutjob with a dream. A pretty lame dream. A dream of building The Highest Popping Toaster In The World. And here it is. It uses high-pressure CO2 and a mechanical arm to blast your toast through the ceiling and kill the woman in the apartment above yours that you swear must run on the freaking treadmill directly above your desk all day long. That's it, I'm going up there and screaming at her until she cries.

UPDATE: Damnit, she distracted me with a loaf of banana bread and I forgot what I went up there for. I think she's a witch.

Insane toaster launches your toast high into the air for some reason [dvice]

Thanks to Lee, king of problematic neighbors.

Jun 27 2008 Boom Arm Starbase Workstation Allows You To Work Comfortably From Bed, Recliner, Can

The Starbase Alpha Boom Boom Room Workstation Arm thingy is ridiculously named and holds either a laptop or LCD monitor while you're playing with yourself in bed or asleep on the can.

Workstations available for use with either a Laptop computer(ST-03) or for use with an LCD Flat screen monitor(ST-04).

Key Benefits:
Use your computer in comfort
Use your computer from non-traditional places
Portable take it where you need it.

Both cost about $300 and you'll be ridiculed if you ever use one. Just like I was after posing for that picture there. And before you ask, yes, those are my pink sheets, and no, that's not a boner. Those are my toes. Wait -- I take that back. Freakin' huge.

Never get out of bed to blog with the Boom Arm Starbase Workstation [bbgadgets]

Jun 27 2008 Stormtrooper High Heels May Make Your Boyfriend's Head Explode Like The Death Star

I'm pretty confident I speak for everyone here when I say there's nothing a geek finds sexier than a stormtrooper. Am I right? Am I right? I am. And what better way to get your girlfriend in on your sick fetish than some Stormtrooper high heels? A girlfriend that would have typically laughed you down will now happily don the costume, as trying on a new pair of shoes is simply too temping for a woman to pass up. Am I right? Am I right? I am. No but seriously honey, put these on. Wow you're hot, now stomp on my junk. That's the stuff. Now pew-pew me in the head and call me Luke.

Stormtrooper High Heels Are Key to All Your Sex Fantasies [gizmodo]

Thanks Shawn, now I really do want a pair.

Jun 27 2008 Little Origami Crane Constructed Using The Ultra Precise Da Vinci Surgical Robot

This is a video of a Japanese surgeon using the Da Vinci Surgical Robot to construct a little origami crane. I had no idea Leonardo had robotic hands, but like my dad always says, "Son, you're a freaking idiot." The feat is all the more spectacular when you see the size of the crane at the end -- it's only as big as a penny! Fly on, little origami crane, fly on. I don't know about you, but I think this Da Vinci robot is really gonna revolutionize origami implants.

Youtube

Thanks Shuck from Germany, say -- if I come over there you think I could sleep on your floor? Maybe drink some of your beer?

Jun 27 2008 Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps

Some designers over at Transparent House have come up with a pretty clever way of recycling old cassette tapes. Not as clever as shooting them off your fence from the back porch, but still pretty clever. They're making lamps. That's right, lamps. You know, illumination devices. As you can see from the picture, they cast pretty cool shadows on the walls. But I don't think they're for sale, so if you're interested you'll have to make one yourself. But please, don't be a dipshit and use opaque tapes like I did.

Hit the jump for several more pictures.

Continue Reading " Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps "

Jun 27 2008 Free Replacements Available For NC Residents With "WTF" License Plates

So the folks at the North Carolina DMV just now caught wind of things called "texting" and "the interwebs" and learned that the license plates they were issuing that started with "WTF" had a deeper, darker, what the f***ier side.

Last year, state officials notified nearly 10,000 holders of license plates with the letter combination "WTF" that they could get a replacement at no charge after officials learned that the combination is a common acronym in text messaging for a vulgar phrase, "What the ..."

WTF was the first random letter combination available when DMV switched from blue- to red-lettered plates. DMV spokeswoman Marge Howell received a sample plate WTF-5506 to use as a prop for news stories about the switch.

But while tracking down the errant plates, no one at the Division of Motor Vehicles checked their own Web site. "WTF-5505" is shown as a sample of a personalized plate.

Interesting. But does this mean just the random, state-issued plates are being recalled, or all plates with "WTF"? Because I'll be damned if they try and take "WTF BITS" away from me.

State's sample license plate: What the ... [newsobserver]
Picture [flickr]

Thanks Zippy, are they trying to take your WTF plate too?

Jun 27 2008 Wait, What? You Put The Servers Where?

So some company's lease expired and they had to move to different offices in the same building -- the only problem is there was nowhere to put their servers. So did they just fire an intern and and put them it in the poor sap's office? No. They did what any reasonable company would do and built a server room only accessible via another company's women's restroom. You know, in the handicapped stall.

The company's executives signed a new lease and prepared to move. There was, however, just one, small hitch. The nice little server room they built in the back of their office - equipped with air conditioning units, ventilation, dedicated power, backup power, and so on - could not be relocated. Not only would it cost too much, but there was simply no room for it. The server room would just have to remain upstairs.

Obviously, the new second-floor tenant wouldn't want their neighbors walking through their office to access a server room, so building management and the company's executives came up with an alternative: wall off the server room door and build a new one. It seemed simple enough, but there was, however, just one small hitch. The only available wall to install a door was adjacent to the women's restroom. Inside the handicapped stall.

Ha, that's great. And no, Superficial Writer, you can't go check on the servers again. That's like the third time you've asked this morning.

Server room built into ladies' room handicapped stall [bbgadgets]

Jun 26 2008 Brothel On Wheels Gets Busted, I Weep

Well folks, in an attempt to take away our Eighth Amendment right (the right to pay for and receive sexual acts in the back of a moving vehicle) the FBI busted what they're calling a "brothel-on-wheels" in Miami.

Miami Beach undercover detectives who paid a $40 entry fee and boarded a stretch limousine bus Sunday found women onboard offering oral sex and lap dances for money, authorities said.

Authorities arrested Christine Morteh, 29, of Miramar, and the driver, Clyde Scott, along with four other people Sunday. Miami-Dade jail spokeswoman Janell Hall said Morteh faces charges including offering to commit or engage in prostitution, conducting business without a license, directing another to a place of prostitution and deriving support from prostitution.

Whoa, whoa, whoa -- those sound like some pretty serious charges. Completely inappropriate. I was thinking more along the lines of a gas card and handicapped parking sticker.

Cops bust alleged brothel-on-wheels in Miami [cnn]

Thanks Romeo, but I kind of wish you had notified me about this service earlier.

Jun 26 2008 Love It Or Hate It, It's Still A Steampunk Desk

The Desk Machine is a line of steampunkish desks by artist Dale Mathis. They all have a bunch of gears inside that turn and make you dizzy when you're signing TPS reports.

The desk features dozens of gears of different sizes that all sync together. The effect is such that the entire desk is "running" under its own power. The framework of the desk is wood with oversized rivets and bolts added to complete the look. Also, the legs are designed to mimic the look of swing-arms found on almost every motor on the road. The keyboard tray is also integrated into the gearing system.

Now when it says the keyboard tray is integrated into the system, I assume that means that it's constantly going in and out, effectively making it impossible to type. Which, quite frankly, you don't need to anyways if you can afford a $21,000 desk. That's what your blonde bombshell of a personal secretary (who was hired for her looks and not skills) is for. Isn't that right, you sexy little thing you? Haha, you typed that. God you're stupid.

Hit the jump for a video of the desk in action.

Continue Reading " Love It Or Hate It, It's Still A Steampunk Desk "

Jun 26 2008 R2-D2 And Darth Vader USB Hubs Are Legit

It's a well known fact that USB hubs come in all shapes and sizes, so it was only a matter of time before some company licensed a few Star Wars models. And here they are: R2-D2 and Darth Vader. R2 moves his head from side to side and lights up and makes boopity beep boop noises and Vader's eyes glow red and he breathes heavy while he, too, turns his head. They'll be available next month for about $66 and I'm definitely buying an R2. Or, I dunno, demanding one in exchange for not writing a scathing review.

Hit the jump for a video of the hubs in action!

Continue Reading " R2-D2 And Darth Vader USB Hubs Are Legit "

Jun 26 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Ceiling Mounted Faucets

The Gessi ceiling-mounted faucet is mounted to the ceiling because walls are boring. You control the flow with a little joystick (or optional remote) and they probably cost a fortune. Especially if you don't already have water pipes running in your ceiling. Still, I like them and wouldn't be upset if one of my favorite bars installed them. But I would be if my girlfriend tried to in our bathroom. Last week she was installing a new shower curtain and, long story short, almost burnt the house down.

Gessi's Crazy, Crazy Ceiling Mounted Plumbing [uberreview]

Jun 26 2008 Highly Questionable: 3-Person Table Tennis

This 3-person table tennis table looks like the least fun thing I've seen in a while. I have no idea how you play and whether or not the person in the middle always loses, but if I had to guess I'd say yes.

Okay I did some more research and it turns out the pieces are part of a modular table tennis setup that can be arranged in a variety of ways. Six of the pieces will even make a complete circle and still won't be fun. Not unless you douse the ball with tiki torch fluid and then try to hit each other in the face. Oh damn, did I just invent the world's awesomest game? Hell yeah I did, it's called strip Mario Kart.

Hit the jump for a pic of another configuration.

Continue Reading " Highly Questionable: 3-Person Table Tennis "

Jun 26 2008 DARPA Vulcan Engine Solves Problems

The problem with traditional scramjet planes (planes with the potential of hitting Mach 12-24) is they require supersonic airflow in order to function. So getting up to Mach 4 is a problem. That's why they've typically been piggybacked on other planes to get up to speed, and then released. Which isn't efficient or cost effective (since when did we start caring about this?).

Enter the DAPRA Vulcan. The Vulcan is a hybrid engine that can power a plane with a turbo jet until it's time to kick on the scramjet and feel your nuts climb up into your stomach. DARPA hopes to have a working prototype complete by 2012 and I'm all for it. Think about it -- Mach 24. That's like 250 trillion miles an hour. Which does comes with some inherent risk: I heard if you go that fast you may actually start aging in reverse and then crash the plane because you're seven and can't fly. I believe it.

Hit the jump for a conceptual video.

Continue Reading " DARPA Vulcan Engine Solves Problems "

Jun 26 2008 Pervwad Hides Cellphone Up His Keister

Jeffrey Barrier is a pervwad. One that was standing on a chair taking cameraphone pictures of a naked chick in Cincinnati, Ohio's Aloha Tanning salon. The woman spotted him and police were quickly on the scene.

When cops later confronted Barrier, "he kept denying any involvement of the incident" and claimed to not have a camera. However, a second search of the suspect turned up the camera. As noted in a Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report, Barrier "did hide evidence in his anus."

Ah yes, the ol' cellphone in the anus trick. Been there, Jeffrey. It helps if you turn the ringer off. Say, this reminds me of a song I just made up.

Well, if my ass is a ringin', don't bother callin'
Yeah, if my ass is a ringin', don't bother callin'
If my ass is a ringin', don't bother, my cellphone's in my anus

Hit the jump for a picture of Captain Perv and a copy of the Sherriff's report and court affidavit.

Continue Reading " Pervwad Hides Cellphone Up His Keister "

Jun 26 2008 World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean

Although it might as well be. The San Alfonso del Mar is a 1,013 meter, 19-acre pool on the central coast of Chile. It holds 66 million gallons of filtered sea-water and even has a 115-foot deep end (making it even deeper than yesterday's pool). Although I think we can all agree this is actually less of a pool and more of a man-made lake. I have a rule: if you can boat on it, it's not a pool. But that's just me. As you can see, the pool is just a stone's throw from the beach, which begs the question, "Did you not see that massive natural pool right there before you built this thing?" Regardless, it took approximately five years and $2 billion to complete. Maintenance costs are estimated to be about $4 million a year -- and that's just to retrieve floaters!

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean "

Jun 25 2008 Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon

We've all been there before: You finally bring a girl home from the bar, get her to the bedroom, and you're rounding 3rd base and trying to come home when...shit, out of condoms. So you grab a snack-sized Doritos bag off the nightstand, but before you can secure the thing to your member with a piece of electrical tape, the chick dives out a window.

Enter German inventor Jan Vinzenz Krause. Jan got super drunk at a party once and forgot to take his shoes off before passing out. He woke up with a huge penis drawn on his face and a crotchful of silly string. Putting two and two together, Jan soon invented spray-on latex condoms.

The spray-on condom prototype measures a man's size (really big, big, average, small, really small) and then covers his penis in liquid latex providing him with a proper fitting condom. A man places his penis in a chamber. He then presses a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto the man's penis in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that the inventor is working on shortening the time to about 10 seconds.

Uh, Jan? 10 seconds is a long time and The Geekologie Writer isn't exactly known for his stamina. What he is known for is once trying to slow himself down by using an empty shampoo bottle for a condom. Now I'm "that Pert Plus guy".

Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a video demonstration.

Continue Reading " Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon "

Jun 25 2008 Knight Rider GPS Unit Is KITTastic, Functional

The Mio Knight Rider GPS unit is exactly what it sounds like -- a Knight Rider themed GPS unit. It has red blinking lights. Basically what you're paying for is the fact that Mio got William Daniels (the distinguished voice of KITT) to do all the audio work. You choose your name from a long list, and then the unit will address you as so, making you feel a little more Knight Rider-y and a little less Minivan Rider-y. The MSRP is around $270 and they hit streets in the fall. Now before you run out and buy one, be warned: a Knight Rider GPS unit will not get you laid, it will only get you to your destination.*

*Vaginaville and Poontown excluded.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the unit in action, well, minus the part where the guy spends ten minutes going through the list of names and making it play them all.

Continue Reading " Knight Rider GPS Unit Is KITTastic, Functional "

Jun 25 2008 Little Kid Rollerskates Under Cars, Is Limber

I've been watching videos of kids rollerskating under cars for like ten years, so this may be old to many of you. But for those of you who haven't seen it, it'll be freaking nuts. It's a 6-year old Indian kid who sets records skating under cars while in the splits. When he gets down he's no more than 8-inches in total height. Hit the jump for a couple videos of the feat, it's amazing. Not as amazing as when I rollerskate under cars, but that's because I perform on the highway. Do I have a death wish? No. Am I nuts? Maybe. Do they drag on the pavement when I skate? Yes.

Hit it for the videos.

Continue Reading " Little Kid Rollerskates Under Cars, Is Limber "

Jun 25 2008 World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive

The world's deepest swimming pool (108 feet) resides in Brussels, Belgium and serves as "multi-purpose diving instruction, recreational, and film production facility."

The pool itself consists of a submerged structure with flat platforms at various depth levels. The pool has two large flat-bottomed areas at depth levels of 5m (16 ft) and 10m (32 ft), and a large circular pit descending to a depth of 33m (108 ft). It is filled with 2,500,000 liters of non-chlorinated, highly filtered spring water maintained at 30°C (86°F) and contains several simulated underwater caves at the 10m depth level. There are numerous underwater windows that allow outside visitors to look into the pools at various depths.

While that's cool and all, where the hell is the high dive? You can't have a pool that deep and not have a high dive, it's blasphemous. I mean, WTF? Oh well, I'm still gonna sink my girlfriend's body in the deep end.

Hit the jump off for a bunch more pictures.

Continue Reading " World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive "

Jun 25 2008 Wilbur Would Be Outraged: Pig Earbuds

Pig earbuds cost $12 and makes it look like a little dachshund/pig hybrid has burrowed through your head whenever you listen to music. I guess they're probably more for chicks. Or maybe guys that need a conversation starter. What the hell, I'll try anything twice.

Chick on the bus: "Hey, are those pig earbuds?"
Me: "HUH?"
Chick on the bus: "I SAID, ARE THOSE PIG EARBUDS?"
Me: "Hell yeah, you like 'em?"
Chick on the bus: "You look like a freaking idiot."
Me: "I am one!"

Pigbuds: 'cause your ears are purty too [engadget]
and
I Want Pig Ear Phones From Japan [rinkya]

Thanks Ray and Laurel, they're kind of growing on me now.

Jun 25 2008 Sky Ceilings: Like Sky Lights, But Depressing

Sky Ceilings are probably an old as hell idea. So old. Your mommy probably read you a news story about them when you were a child. Yet, here they are -- weird. Sky Ceilings were designed to mimic daylight and change with the time of day from sun up to sun down. They're for people like me that work in Cubeville and don't see the light of day unless they sneak up to the roof and contemplate jumping. Which I do frequently. The sidewalk just looks so appetizing from up here. Oh -- here comes The Superficial Writer, late as always and trying to sneak in the side door. *hooccckkkkkkkk*

Sky Ceilings make you feel like you're outside even when you're not [dvice]

Jun 25 2008 More Origami From Our Folder In Residence

Brian Chan is now Geekologie's official paper folder in residence And he's hard at work on original designs to showcase at his exhibition table at this weekend's Origami USA Convention in New York. He stayed up all night working on this WALL-E, and as you can see, he's looking good. If you want to get an idea of what to expect at the convention, just take a look at Brian's other amazing work here. Seriously, click that link, you won't be disappointed. I'm really digging all the beetles. Oh, and Fay Valentine from Cowboy Bebop. So, anybody else going to the convention this weekend? If I was in New York I would be. Unfortunately I'm not and I hate driving and flying. I only crawl -- bar crawl! You see, I'm an alcoholic.

Hit the jump for more of WALL-E and another link to Brian's origami page in case you haven't clicked it the first two times I've given it to you.

Continue Reading " More Origami From Our Folder In Residence "

Jun 25 2008 Rotating Skyscraper To Be Built In Dubai

A rotating skyscraper is slated to be built in, wait for it -- Dubai! The structure, designed by Italian architect David Fisher, has floors that can each rotate independently of one another. Allegedly the building will be powered entirely by wind and solar energy via outer solar panels and wind turbines between the floors. I'm curious to see how that works out. I'm also curious how you and your neighbors decide who gets the ocean view and when. I'm guessing it involves threats and/or a good amount of weapon brandishing. Condos are currently going for about $3,000 per square foot but don't bother calling to ask -- I already did and the bastards aren't selling 1' x 1's.

Hit the jump for a VIDEO including some computer animations of the buildng and an interview with the architect.

Continue Reading " Rotating Skyscraper To Be Built In Dubai "

Jun 24 2008 The 730-Ton Ball That Keeps The Taipei 101 Earthquake Tolerant Is Pretty Big, Heavy

The Taipei 101, once the world's tallest building, sits a paltry 600 feet from a fault line. So is the structure doomed? Nope -- it's rocking a uni-ball of steel.

To counteract the forces working against it, architects installed a $4 million, 730-ton tune massed damper, which is a big ball 18 feet in diameter, made of 41 steel plates, and suspended by strong cables 3 1/2-inches think. It's said to cut down on the swaying of the building by almost 40%.

Pretty cool stuff there. Anything that keeps buildings standing and people safe during an earthquake is A-okay in my book. Even if it is a 730-ton ball. Which, incidentally, explains why I've never taken a fall. *wink* Ladies?

Hit the jump for some more pictures, an animation of how the damper works, along with a video of the ball in action during the recent Chinese earthquake.

Continue Reading " The 730-Ton Ball That Keeps The Taipei 101 Earthquake Tolerant Is Pretty Big, Heavy "

Jun 24 2008 Melon-Powered Device Chargers Coming

So I'm making today Kinetic Energy Day on Geekologie. First the Dance Charger, and now the possibility of bra electitricity.

It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women with the exception of The Geekologie Writer. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs.

Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. "Let's face it--if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.

ZOINKS! Honestly, I have no idea if boob-power is possible or not because I stopped reading the article there and started speculating with The Superficial Writer if there's a chick in the world with the melons to jump start a car. What can I say, we're scientists.

Victoria's Circuit - Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion [slate]

Thanks Chuck and Katlyn, I'll never look at knockers the same way again.

Jun 24 2008 I'm Buying: Man Auctions Off Entire Life (Including Pride And Dignity) On eBay

Ian Usher is a 44-year old Australian that's selling his entire life on eBay. No, you don't get to kill him, but you do get his house, car, motorcycle, hot tub, friends, job, grill, pictures, computer, underwear, pride, and self respect. The auction ends on Sunday and is already up to about $300,000. Ian is holding the auction after his 12-year relationship with some chick name Laura dissolved and left him broken-hearted. He's looking for a clean start and will begin his new life with nothing but the clothes on his back and the proceeds from the auction (he's hoping for around $500,000). When asked why the relation went sour, Ian replied, "She started kangarooing some other dude. She wanted to settle down and thought I was too impulsive -- the kind of guy that would sell his entire life on eBay." Boy, you sure showed her!

Hit the jump for a bunch of pictures of stuff included in the auction, along with a link to the auction, his blog explaining the situation, and a yahoo news article.

Continue Reading " I'm Buying: Man Auctions Off Entire Life (Including Pride And Dignity) On eBay "

Jun 24 2008 Fugly As Hell Jacket Has A Camera On The Back, Monitor On The Sleeve, But No Style

Paul Coudamy is a guy who has been beat up from behind one too many times. And, instead of just buying a pair of those rear-view spy glasses or rip-away underwear, he made a jacket. A denim one that looks awful and has a camera on the back and a monitor in the sleeve. That way Paul can sleep comfortably at night knowing that the next time he gets jumped or mugged, they definitely won't want his hideous freaking jacket.

Paul Coudamy's Hard-Wear jacket watches your back when no one else will [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who, like me, just wears a bike helmet everywhere. You know, the kind with the little mirrors.

Jun 24 2008 Phone Charger Powered By Dance, Ecstasy

The Dance Charge is a prototype phone charger that powers your phone by harnessing the kinetic energy of your dance moves. You just strap the thing to your arm, drop some ecstasy, and then let your eyes roll up in the back of your head while you flail around like an epileptic.

The device - which weighs 180grams and measures about the same size as a pack of cards - will be strapped to peoples arms and tested at Glastonbury Festival this week.

As the dancers moves their arms along to the music - a specially designed system of weights and magnets creates an electrical current which provides a top-up charge to a connected mobile phone.

The charger was developed by Orange UK and 'GotWind', a renewable energy company, and is being tested at the Glastonbury festival this week. But the device isn't just limited to harnessing dance energy. It also works if you swing your arms while you run or masturbate like a crazy person.

Dance powered phone charger for Glastonbury Festival [newslite]

Thanks to Charles and Damn Luddites, now lets go to a rave and make out with some chicks in the moonbounce

Jun 24 2008 Video: How To Play Guitar Hero On The DS

This is a video explaining how to play Guitar Hero: On Tour with the Nintendo DS. It ranks right up there with the Star Wars Dance Competition in things that are unbearable to watch. Seriously, I almost killed myself while watching it. I was just slipping my head through the noose when it ended. Don't believe me? I dare you to watch the whole 3:30 and then tell me with a straight face you didn't entertain cutting yourself. Because you did. You also entertained finding out where Mr. Eyeliner lives and cutting him. Go on, admit it.

Guitar Hero: On Tour promo video makes grown men cry [engadget]

Thanks for the warning Julian, but curiosity got the best of me

Jun 24 2008 Origami Iron Man Is Impressive, A Geekologie Reader's Own Design (Making It Even Better)

Brian Chan is a Geekologie reader than can fold paper like nobody's business. And here's a recent Iron Man creation of Brian's own design. "It is folded from a single uncut square of paper, and so is the mask." Hit the jump for a few more shots, including the mask and the paper templates that show you just how much folding was really involved (shit-tons). Good work, Brian. Say, I'm about to do a little paper folding of my own. Toilet paper that is -- I'm blogging from the can again! *flush*

Hit the jump for more images and a link to Brian's origami website, with lots more original designs (including tons of awesome bugs and animals).

Continue Reading " Origami Iron Man Is Impressive, A Geekologie Reader's Own Design (Making It Even Better) "

Jun 24 2008 FAKE: Uncontacted Amazon Tribe A Hoax

Remember the story about the previously-unknown Amazon tribe? Well it turns out it's not entirely true. The photographer that took the picture, José Carlos, has admitted that the tribe has, in fact, been known about since 1910. He created the hoax "in order to call attention to the dangers the logging industry may have on the group." No way, José. Now they're probably gonna log the hell out of that poor tribe just to spite you. What you did was wrong. That's like a highschool health teacher contracting STDs to show to the class. It does makes some kind of point, but you can't help but wonder if there was an easier way.

The Not-So-Lost Tribe [yahoobuzz]

Thanks Abraham, they got me too.

Jun 23 2008 Fire Footbag: Fiery Hackey Sack Surprisingly Not Endorsed By Your Local Fire Department

The Fire Footbag is pretty much a Hackey Sack made out of Kevlar that you douse with kerosene and then kick around until you've burnt the entire neighborhood down. They're similar to these magic balls (but more kickable), and cost $25.

THIS PRODUCT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS USE EXTREME CAUTION!

This product is also extremely fun! You will need white gas, kerosene, or 'tiki torch fuel' to light this bag. Tiki torch fuel is does not burn as hot as most other fuels. Do not use gasoline! Use only a small amount and test it first! Overly soaked bags can be EXTREMELY dangerous since excess burning fuel can stick to clothing and/or skin. Keep your fuel source completely away (100 yards minimum) from your kicking area.

Now I'm all about kicking around a flaming turd, but come on -- 100 yard minimum distance from your fuel source? That's a freaking football field. I'm a pretty wild kicker, but I don't think anyone has accidentally womped the hackey that bad. Why not go the extra mile and include a "Do not play with the Fire Footbag in states that sell gasoline" warning. Oh, and it definitely needs a "Only one flaming sack at a time: under no circumstances should you play wearing loose-legged shorts."

Hit the jump for the VIDEO of a guy doing some pretty cool tricks and dropping the thing a bunch.

Continue Reading " Fire Footbag: Fiery Hackey Sack Surprisingly Not Endorsed By Your Local Fire Department "

Jun 23 2008 Bacon Floss, It's What's For Dinner Hygiene

Bacon floss is $4.95 bacon flavored dental floss. It cleans in between your teeth and leaves you with a nice bacon-y aftertaste. Brush with egg-flavored toothpaste and it's part of a well balanced breakfast. Honestly, I'd actually try some if I ever flossed, but I don't. You see, I took exceptional care of my teeth the whole of my life, never have a cavity, and still got kicked in the head by a mule and lost them all. Life's a bitch, folks -- just like my ex. Plus they both have the clap.

Goodbye Cinnamon, Hello Bacon Floss! [ohgizmo]

Jun 23 2008 Way To Desecrate My Favorite Characters: Star Wars Dance Competition At Disney

So apparently Disney has now started having "Star Wars Weekends" at Walt Disney World. What does this mean? Among other things, a Star Wars Character Dance Competition that made my blood boil. The video is over 5 minutes long, so what you want to do is let it load, and then watch a random ten seconds of the first 3 minutes, and then actually let it play at 3:11. This video has singlehandedly desecrated the memory of my favorite childhood characters. Kind of like that time at my Halloween party when I walked in on my girlfriend humping Optimus Prime. Suffice it to say I trashed all my Transformers and Uncle Jake isn't my favorite uncle anymore.

Star Wars Dance Off [uberreview]

Jun 23 2008 Cool: Take A Bath Under The Stars Without Exposing Yourself To The Elderly Neighbors

The Homestar Spa by SEGA Toys turns your bathroom into a planetarium whenever you're taking a bath. You just fill up the tub, strip down to your birthday suit (or a towel if you're a prude like the chick in the photos), and hop on in. Then, with a flick of its switch, the $70 unit instantly fills your bathroom with hundreds of trillions of millions of "stars". Not feeling stars tonight? No problem, flip the unit over and hit the switch again to fill the bottom of your tub with a, uh, bloody mess.

Sega's Homestar Spa: Planetarium edition [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who calls the model in the photos despite her obvious prudishness.

Jun 23 2008 MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel

Students at MIT have developed a parabolic solar dish capable of melting steel. It consists of an array of 10 inch by 12 foot curved mirrors, and is a crucial step in the race to provide cleaner, cheaper energy.

The MIT team believes that their lightweight, inexpensive device holds the promise of revolutionizing the power industry and providing solar power to even remote regions.

The completed mirror focuses enough solar energy at its focal point to melt solid steel. The energy of typical sunlight is concentrated by a factor of 1,000. This was showcased during a demonstration, in which a team member held up a board, which instantly and violently combusted, when brought within range of the focal point.

By directing the dish at a more practical target -- water piped through black tubing -- steam can be flash created, offering instant means of producing energy or providing heating.

Awesome. I just built one myself, and I've got to say, it's pretty damn powerful. I just put a chair in front of it alongside a giant "FREE MAKEUP" sign, and now I'm waiting for my girlfriend to get home.

UPDATE: Success -- single again!

Hit the jump for a picture of the completed dish and a wooden beam catching fire.

Continue Reading " MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel "

Jun 23 2008 Eye Candy: Video Games Invade Real World

This is the second installment of "video games in the real world" art here on Geekologie. The first was brought to us by Mike (aka Pixel Fantasy) on Flickr, but this set was done by DeviantArt user RETROnoob. These are noticeably more intricate than the first. There's a ton more eye candy after the jump, so make sure to hit it for some Street Fighter and Mario Kart action, along with a bunch of others. My only complaint is this: enough with the teasing already. If people are gonna keep make these pictures, I think it only fair that somebody actually tear a hole in the time-video game fabric and merge our two worlds. Damnit, sex with a Koopa Troopa is my God-given right.

Hit the jump for a ton more.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Video Games Invade Real World "

Jun 23 2008 Custom Aqua Teen Hunger Air Force Ones

I die a little inside every day that I don't post some custom painted shoes, so rest assured that if you don't like them, at least you're not suffering as much as I am. Oh, and you see what I did with the title there? I combined Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Air Force One, a popular Nike shoe. Sure this isn't a Nike, but Aqua Teen British Knights Force sounds stupid. Wait, no it doesn't. Anyway, this is a custom painted Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe made for someone's birthday.

Artist's Comments:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force from Adult Swim.
The left shoe for Mallery's birthday shoes.

(Kept laces off for better pictures.)

Haha, Mallery -- you only got one shoe for your birthday. Sucks to be you. Just like it sucked being me when I needed glasses and my dad only got me a monocle and an eyepatch.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe [deviantart]

Thanks Karla, I had almost forgotten I looked like a piratey Mr. Peanut growing up

Jun 23 2008 Robotic Snake Swims Underwater, Frightens The Hell Out Of Swimmers Everywhere

Well I hope everyone had a jolly summer solstice and danced around the maypole and burned a witch or whatever the hell people do these days, but I've got some bad news: robotic swimming snakes. Now I hate to ruin your Monday and have you all cowering under your desks for the rest of the day, but I feel it's my duty to let you know about these things, lest you be foolish enough to think swimming is still a safe activity. Which, officially, it no longer is. Now the first thing I always think when I hear bad news is, "Who can I blame for this?" In this case it's the Hirose Fukushima Lab in Japan.

"Why can snakes move ahead on without legs?" From this problem, we started research of snake biomechanisms, which resulted in the "Why can snakes move ahead on without legs?" From this problem, we started research of snake biomechanisms, which resulted in the development of "Snake Robots". Snake Robots have many possible applications, even though the structures are simple.

Okay that was kind of confusing, so I'll summarize: welcome to hell, folks. That's what it said. I am definitely never swimming again. I swear -- right when I was starting to get over Jaws.

Hit the jump for another robot the lab created that was designed to climb in your lap and crush your junk.

Continue Reading " Robotic Snake Swims Underwater, Frightens The Hell Out Of Swimmers Everywhere "

Jun 20 2008 Woman Died Watching TV In 1966, Found 42 Years Later, Probably Stunk In The Interim

A woman in Croatia died in 1966 while watching television in her apartment, and was just now discovered.

Hedviga Golik made herself a cup of tea and sat down to watch some television in her hometown of Zagreb, Croatia. Sadly, she died in her chair. This was in 1966. She was just found, 42 years later, in her time capsule mausoleum where she's been sitting ever since. She never finished her tea.

Apparently her apartment was never checked, despite a missing person report being filed when she went missing. Only recently did the authorities break into the unit and discover the woman while trying to determine who owned the place.

Damn, that's freaking nuts! I can't imagine how the place went unchecked for 42 years. It had to have stunk like shit for a good long while. Kind of like my place. Isn't that right, Grandma? Grandma? Awh, shit.

Woman Who Died While Watching TV Sat Unfound For 42 Years [gizmodo]

Thanks Shawn, say, you mind calling the funeral parlor?

Jun 20 2008 Video: Epic NERF Battle In Cubeville

I said give me a damn minute, I'm trying to post here.

This is a video made by what is probably the least productive company on the planet. It's a 5:00 epic NERF battle complete with horrible over-acting and, sadly, no nudity. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a scene from the offices here at Anticlown. We don't do NERF guns -- we use real thing. But The Superficial Writer still makes little pew pew noises when he fires and, more often than not, shoots himself.

Okay, now we can go to the hospital. But we're taking your car or the bus -- that's a lot of blood and I just got my shit detailed.

The Great Office War [ohgizmo]

Jun 20 2008 Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe

Snow globes are glass spheres filled with little scenes and some plastic snow that whirls around when you shake the thing. These ones just happen to be filled with very unusual scenes. Like, well, a police officer putting a bullet in some dude's melon. There's a shit-ton more after the jump, which I suggest you peruse because I just spent like thirty hundred billion hour-years editing them and posting them for you. They were all made by artists Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz and are part of a limited edition of 250 pieces. Each goes for about $750.

These two artists have been working together since 1993. They sculpt miniature figures set in snowy outside scenes that depict sometimes horrible situations. Each snow globe tells a story and it's up to the viewer to fill in the blanks of those stories. Some of these miniature people seem trapped in a fairy-tale like story.

So what's the story behind the scene in that globe? My guess is an officer is practicing his close range shooting skills on the back of some guy's head while another copper watches and, quite possibly, gets aroused. Freaking classic, just like mom used to read me before bed.

Hit the jump for a ton more (men throwing kids down a well, gun toting grandmas, etc.) and feel free to fill in the stories if you want.

Continue Reading " Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe "

Jun 20 2008 It's Official: There's Ice On Mars After All

This is a picture taken by the Phoenix Lander of water ice on Mars. Or, alternatively, some ice in a Hollywood backlot that somebody staged. Or, alternatively, Photoshopped ice. No but seriously, it's water ice on Mars.

The confirmation that water ice exists in the area directly surrounding the lander is big and good news for the Martian mission. NASA's stated goal for the Mars Phoenix was to find exactly this -- water ice -- and then analyze it. With the latest news, the first step is accomplished. All that's left now is to get the water into the Phoenix's instruments, a task which has occasionally proven more difficult than anticipated.

Now I know what many of you are thinking -- "So freaking what?" Well apparently you don't understand the profound implications of such a discovery -- we won't have to tote bagged ice up there to keep our drinks cold.

Mars Phoenix Tweets: "We Have ICE!" [wired]

Thanks to Lee, who is actually helping me throw a party on Mars that's gonna be freaking awesome. Martian chicks and a cooler full of desert juice -- who's coming with us?

Jun 20 2008 LEGO Star Wars Diorama Is Legit, 3,800 Pieces, $400, Now On My Birthday List

The $400 Death Star diorama from LEGO weighs in at a whopping 3,800 pieces and is making me hotter than a volcano. A volcano on fire. The thing depicts 14 scenes from the original Star Wars trilogy and comes with 21 mini-figs, including 7 exclusive to the set. Wow, what could be awesomer? I mean besides a LEGO Death Star big enough to live in. Because that's what I freaking want. Like my dad always says, "Dream big or don't bother sleeping. Oh, and son -- keep your buttcheeks clenched tight -- aliens."

Hit the jump for a picture of all the mini-figs and the entire product description.

Continue Reading " LEGO Star Wars Diorama Is Legit, 3,800 Pieces, $400, Now On My Birthday List "

Jun 20 2008 Blood Soap Is Cool, I Want Some In My Mouth

Clue brand Blood soap has red coloring added so it looks like you're cleaning blood off your hands whenever you go to wash them. It's an awesome idea and my mommy says I should wash my mouth out with rat poison because I use lots of dirty words. I want some, unfortunately I've got the feeling it isn't real. It should be though, because I'd buy some. Or, I dunno, just keep cutting myself.

Clue: Blood soap dispenser [make]

Thanks Shawn, now lets make this stuff in hand sanitizer form so we can take it anywhere.

Jun 20 2008 Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie

Well it's been a little while since we've seen some sweet Pixeloo untoonage here on Geekologie. And since today is Friday and I'm already six dryer sheets to the wind, I figured now is as good a time as any to take light some romantic candles and take a milk bath. While not really a toon, this is a realistic rendering of what Niko Bellic might look like after he just cracked his knuckles and is preparing to "kill that ass mad dead." He looks good. Reminds me of myself. I'm handsome and rugged and wear turtlenecks. Seriously though Niko, you can see straight to my soul with that stare of yours, can't you? What does it look like? I always imagined it as a white hazy light that kind of pulsates. Just a giant turd, huh? Damn.

Hit the jump for the FRIDAY BONUS PICTURE of Stewie from Family Guy untooned. It's scary as hell!

Continue Reading " Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie "

Jun 20 2008 Wow: Man Attempts Robbery With Palm Frond

Gelando Olivieri was a man with a plan. A plan of robbing V&F Discount Beverage on Voorhis Avenus in Deland, Florida with a palm frond sword and sandal shield. However the plan was foiled when a brave patron pushed Olivieri from the store with a little wooden stool. Gelando -- you're a freaking idiot. A palm frond? Really? Jesus, you could have at least used a rose bush.

Robber brandishes palm frond [cnn]

Thanks Isabel, I've never been less scared of a robber in my life

Jun 19 2008 Tasers Not As Safe As Previously Thought, 1/3 Of Victims Require Medical Attention

Who would have thought jolting a body with a shit-ton of electricity isn't super-safe? I know I'm shocked (!). According to a report compiled by CBS News and the Canadian Press, tasers are a lot more dangerous than previously though.

...about one-third of people shot by Tasers reportedly required some form of medical attention. Those numbers were drawn from the Taser-use forms that RCMP officers are required to fill out whenever they draw the device, which revealed that 910 of the 3,226 people shot between 2002 and 2007 had to go to a medical facility, and that "many more" people had minor injuries but never saw a doctor.

So yeah, I'm getting one of those tase-proof jackets as soon as they come out. I'll be damned if I get tased again. I got hit once and it was enough. Okay, if I got really drunk at a party and there was a girl I was trying to impress, maybe. But not in the balls. Eight months of Rogaine and still no hair.

Probe finds one-third of people shot by Tasers need medical attention [engadget]

Thanks Julian, and don't worry, I won't tase you bro

Jun 19 2008 Looking Good: LEGO WALL-E Is Cute As Hell

You know that Disney-Pixar movie coming out? Yeah, the one with the cute little robot that has sex with the future or something? Yeah, that one, WALL-E. Well Joe Meno, editor of Brickjournal magazine, made him out of LEGO. It looks good. Good and cute. Good and cute and schoolbus-y. Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, including one with a movie spoiler: the little f***er's a Nazi!

Oh, there's a link to a huge Flickr gallery too.

Continue Reading " Looking Good: LEGO WALL-E Is Cute As Hell "

Jun 19 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Altering Bacteria To Produce "Renewable Petroleum"

First the diesel tree, and now oil bacteria. Several companies in Silicon Valley are racing to produce bacteria capable of excreting oil (black gold, Texas tea).

What is most remarkable about what they are doing is that instead of trying to reengineer the global economy - as is required, for example, for the use of hydrogen fuel - they are trying to make a product that is interchangeable with oil. The company claims that this "Oil 2.0" will not only be renewable but also carbon negative - meaning that the carbon it emits will be less than that sucked from the atmosphere by the raw materials from which it is made.

Hey, I'm all for it. And as you can see from the picture there, it's a fairly simple process to raise the bacteria. It just takes is a couple of 16oz Coke bottles, an atomic bomb, and what is either a really fancy coffee maker or a hot-air popcorn popper. You attach all the components with some plastic tubing, add some electricity, and presto, the lab explodes.

Hit the link for a much more in-depth article.

Scientists find bugs that eat waste and excrete oil [timesonline]

Jun 19 2008 Robotic Band Actually Plays Pretty Well

While not as cute as the lovable little robot drummer, The Trons actually play with four part harmony...and feeling. The best thing about robotic bands is there's no chance of them turning into a bunch of strung out heroin addicts and nodding off on stage. Now I'm not saying I'd pay five dollars at the door, but I would sneak in the back and drink the band's beer while putting the moves on their robotic groupies. You ever touched a metal tit before? They're freakin' legit.

The Trons: self-playing robot band totally kills our self-esteem [engadget]

Thanks Ryan, I call dibs on the one with the bald head and that's leaking oil, you can have the rest.

Jun 19 2008 A Villain Chair For Plotting World Domination

The Villain Chair is made by SUCK UK and is perfect for planning world domination, but versatile enough to relax in and do the Sunday crossword. Made with genuine leather, chrome, steel and aluminum, the damn thing costs $7,200. Yeah, $7,200 and you don't even get to beat the shit out of it with a sledgehammer. Talk about a ripoff. While I do appreciate a good villain chair, I'll just stick to my bone throne for the time being. After all, you can't spell "world domination" without hot wings.

Villain Chair Product Page

Thanks Rachel, my tattered desk chair has never felt so inadequate

Jun 19 2008 Worst Ferrari Owner Ever

So some Ferrari owner in Brazil crashed his 2000 360 Modena into some other car. Then -- at a later date -- had to push it around town because it was out of gas. Not surprisingly, it turns out the dude hadn't been paying his taxes and fines for the car either. Which makes him the worst Ferrari owner ever. While most owners treat a Ferrari like their baby (one that wasn't an accident), this guy treats his like a redheaded stepchild.

A bunch more pictures of the damage, him pushing it through the streets, and a screenshot of the car's tax sheet after the jump. Anybody that wants to shed more light on the article feel free to, my Portuguese is limited (and I'm dumb as shit).

Continue Reading " Worst Ferrari Owner Ever "

Jun 19 2008 Japan Sees Significant Increase In The Popularity Of Adult Geriatric Films

Apparently business is booming for makers of geriatric boom-boom movies in Japan. Demand for such titles as "Grandparents Getting Down" and "Never Too Old To Bone" has nearly doubled in the past decade. TIME has a whole long article about it, but I thought I'd just include my favorite part, since it's quite possibly the awesomest thing I've ever read, ever.

Besides his glowing complexion, Shigeo Tokuda looks like any other 74-year-old man in Japan. Despite suffering a heart attack three years ago, the lifelong salaryman now feels healthier, and lives happily with his wife and a daughter in downtown Tokyo. He is, of course, more physically active than most retirees, but that's because he's kept his part-time job -- as a porn star.

Shigeo Tokuda is, in fact, his screen name -- he prefers not to disclose his real name because, he insists, his wife and daughter have no idea that he has appeared in about 350 films over the past 14 years.

Dude, you've got your face plastered all over porno boxes (that's him in the picture). How the hell could they not know? The article even says your character has become his own brand. Surely someone has told them. I mean, you're a very distinguished gentleman, and that pipe is a dead give-away. Seriously though, you're my new hero. I wish my wife and family didn't know what I do for a living. They're embarrassed as hell.

Japan's Booming Sex Niche: Elder Porn [time] (nice long article if you're interested)

Thanks Alex and Allyson, but I don't know if I can forgive you

Jun 19 2008 OLD: Even The Ancient Romans Played D & D

An ancient Roman gaming die went up for auction at Christie's recently. Per the description:

A ROMAN GLASS GAMING DIE

Circa 2nd Century A.D.
Deep blue-green in color, the large twenty-sided die incised with a distinct symbol on each of its faces
2 1/16 in. (5.2 cm.) wide

Several polyhedra in various materials with similar symbols are known from the Roman period. Modern scholarship has not yet established the game for which these dice were used.

Stupid modern scholars. I mean really. They were playing D & D you f***wits. Gary Gygax had a time machine, yo.

Auction Page

Thanks Kristina, lets get together and play D20 Yahtzee sometime

Jun 18 2008 Must Have!: Big Lebowski Action Figures

It's about freaking time -- someone is finally releasing some quality Big Lebowski action figures. For $25 you can score The Dude, complete with accessories.

Don't miss The Dude-- Unemployed! You'll flip for our Action Figure of The Dude from The Big Lebowski. Dressed in his bathrobe and slippers, he stands 8-inches tall and comes with loads of hilarious accessories: sunglasses, robe, White Russian, milk carton, ID card, and genuine cloth rug! Achieve your desires by buying this character today!

They're releasing other figures too, including Walter and another version of the Dude (see picture after the jump), Donny, and The Stranger (the narrator in the movie, not when you sit on your hand till it goes numb). If you're attending the July 23- 27 San Diego Comic-Con you can pick The Dude up at that time, otherwise they won't be shipping till August/September. I need one. Somebody, anybody, please abide.

Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: F***in' A, man. I got a rash, man.

Hit the jump for a picture of Walter and another version of The Dude.

Continue Reading " Must Have!: Big Lebowski Action Figures "

Jun 18 2008 Wow: Radiohead's Nude Played On Old Computer Parts Is Really Freaking Good

The Imperial March on a floppy disk is still cool and all, but this video takes the concept to a whole new level. It's Radiohead's Nude being played on all kinds of computer parts. It was made by James Houston, a student from the Glasgow School of Art's visual communication program. And not only is the music amazing well created, but the video is legit as well. The instruments are as follows:

Sinclair ZX Spectrum - Guitars (rhythm & lead)
Epson LX-81 Dot Matrix Printer - Drums
HP Scanjet 3c - Bass Guitar
Hard Drive array - Act as a collection of bad speakers - Vocals & FX

Let it load and then skip to a little after 1:00 for it to get started. Otherwise you have to listen to a minute of static and watch some flashing color bands that may or may not be trying to hypnotize you. They only gave me a boner though. I love static. And flashing colors? Don't even get me started. *shivers*

Big Ideas (don't get any) [vimeo]

Thanks Michael Jackson, but stay the f*** away from my kids

Jun 18 2008 Play 1,000's Of Nintendo Games In Firefox

Well with the drop of Firefox 3 yesterday I've been getting all kinds of tips about the program. And this is one of the awesomest: FireNes. It's a Firefox widget that allows you to play 1,000's of NES and other oldschool games at work through Firefox. It takes just a few seconds to download, then you just click on Tools, FireNes in your Firefox browser. All the games appear in a sidebar and you're good to go. That's a shot of me Blaster Mastering it up just a few minutes ago. Seriously, TPS reports or classic gaming? Exactly. Whoa, did you just see that? What was it? HA! -- it was productivity. It just took a flying freaking leap out the window.

FireNes Download (translated from Spanish)
via
play any nes game for free in firefox with firenes [technabob]

Thanks Beezy, I hope you're rockin' it out just like the good ol' days

Jun 18 2008 Gaming Station Looks Like Torture Device

The Ergonomic Workstation from Ergo Motions looks freaking ridiculous and may or may not come with some of those little toothpick-y things to keep your eyes pried open. I mean this thing is even wacker than most of the other ridiculous workstations we've seen here. It was designed to "help gamers...avoid the repetitive stress injuries and posture issues that often result" from sitting in a dark room surrounded by empty Pringles and Mountain Dew cans. Not totally sure why it needs to lean back like that, but if I had to guess it's for a more realistic flight and/or looking up a woman's dress simulators. The mutant dental chair is currently in prototype phase, so we'll have to wait to find out if it'll ever see the light of day. And, if it's anything like my World of Warcraft addicted roommate, it won't.

Hit the jump for a full list of specs if you're really curious.

Continue Reading " Gaming Station Looks Like Torture Device "

Jun 18 2008 Scientists Discover 'Super-Earths' 42-Light Years Away, Regular Earth Gets Depressed

So scientists have discovered what they're dubbing "super-Earths" circling a star 42-light years away. That's an artist's depiction of what they might look like if they were identical in appearance to earth and weren't actually pink with purple polka-dots like I know they are. Three have been identified so far, and they were detected not by sight, but by the effects they have on the star they orbit.

Using a new tool to study more than 100 stars once thought to be devoid of planets, the Swiss-French team found that about one-third had planets that are only slightly bigger than Earth.

That's how the star with three super-Earths, 42 light-years away, was spotted. The European team took a second look with a relatively new instrument that measures tiny changes in light wave lengths and is so sensitive that it is precisely positioned and locked in a special room below the observatory in Chile. And the key is kept in Switzerland, scientists say.

So, you're probably still wondering what the hell a super-Earth is, aren't you? Well you're in luck, because I'm a scientist and I just happen to know. Super-Earths are planets similar to Earth, but have gained super powers -- like the ability to see through another planet's shirt and ogle its mountains.

Astronomers find 'super Earths' circling a star [yahoonews]

Thanks and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to loyal Geekologie operative Altaire

Jun 18 2008 Gnar Wars: A Star Wars Snowboarding Video

Gnar Wars is a Star Wars themed snowboarding video. It features lightsaber battles, Boba Fett getting his dome piece chopped off, and even some wily Jawa bastards. It's worth a view. But not the repeated viewing that my Star Wars themed sports video deserves. It's called Par Wars , and it's golf themed! It mostly consists of a buddy and I waving around 7-iron urinesabers and trying to douse each other with the contents. We're a class act. The must see finale even features the destruction of the Death Bar (the name we gave the clubhouse bar after they refused to serve us anymore). We flew an X-Wing Fighter (golf cart) straight through that bitch and shot proton torpedoes (golf balls) at the main reactor (bartender). KA-BOOM!

Star Wars Snowboarding [/film]

Thanks Shawn, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shred some gnarly pow-pow (that's code for do drugs).

Jun 18 2008 Send Me Free Ones: Nintendo Wall Decals

These are wicked Nintendo wall graphics made by a company called Blik. They're licensed and everything, so rest assured that Nintendo will get their piece of that ass should you decide to buy some. As seen in the photos, they come in Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, and New Super Mario Bros. themes, and are all completely awesome (and a good size). Unfortunately, each 24-42 sticker set costs $75 and it takes multiple sets to make a really cool scene. Hit the jump for more ideas of what you can do and what appears to be a highly inappropriate silhouette of two schoolgirls making out. You know, for size comparison.

I'm serious, hit the jump.

Continue Reading " Send Me Free Ones: Nintendo Wall Decals "

Jun 18 2008 Imperial March Played On A Floppy Disk

This is a video of the Star Wars Imperial March played on a 3 1/2" disk (the 5 1/4" floppy's rigid little sister). It's just as awesome as you thought it would be. Unless you thought it wouldn't be awesome, in which case you're wrong. Just like I was when we were playing along with Jeopardy at the bar last night. Seriously, never wager your left nut on a Daily Double.

Two more videos after the jump -- a flatbed scanner playing Fur Elise, and one playing Ode to Joy.

Continue Reading " Imperial March Played On A Floppy Disk "

Jun 17 2008 Robotic Girlfriend For Lonely Men Seems Highly Questionable, Lowly Statured

E.M.A. (Eternal Maiden Actualization, seriously?) is a 15-inch Japanese robot developed by SEGA to keep lonely men company and help combat loneliness and depression. She'll cost about $175 and hits the streets (like a hooker!) in September.

Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the diminutive damsel named "EMA" puckers up for nearby human heads, entering what designers call its "love mode."

She's very lovable and though she's not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend."

EMA, which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization, can also hand out business cards, sing and dance, with Sega hoping to sell 10,000 in the first year.

Ah yes, the 15-inch robotic girlfriend. Listen, a girlfriend made out of plastic and metal, no matter how much you inflate her, just isn't a real girlfriend. Even if she comes with vibration modes and "life-like" parts, it's just not the same. Trust me. And this little robot is no different. Although, for the sake of science, I will suspend disappointment and give her a go.

UPDATE: Cleanup in aisle The Bed! Little bits of plastic everywhere. That robot is a freak in the sack! Highly recommended. SEGA, I'm gonna need a replacement. And, well, another Dreamcast. The robot broke before I was finished and I wanted to keep the experience all SEGA.

Japan makes robot girlfriend for lonely men [msnbc]

Thanks Matt and Ro, I've never been more scared of a little robotic woman before.

Jun 17 2008 F1RST! Shirt Lets People Know Things

The F1RST! shirt from Busted Tees costs $15 and let's everyone know you're one of those people. You know, the kind that wears printed novelty shirts. And likes posting FIRST in blog comments sections. AND that you have some fundamental understanding of where babies come from (storks, yo). Hey, whatever floats your boat. I think the FIRST! thing is a little sophomoric myself, but as long as you read Geekologie, you're still okay in my book. Just please, don't do it on this post.

A picture of a chick wearing the shirt (which makes it look a lot better than that dude), after the jump.

Continue Reading " F1RST! Shirt Lets People Know Things "

Jun 17 2008 Chinese Firm Builds Identified Flying Object

Harbin Smart Special Aerocraft, a Chinese company, has built a prototype flying saucer. It took the company over 12 years and $4 million to make the thing, and that's not a picture of it. That's some art exhibit by Japanese artist Mariko Mori. It just happens to be the picture that came with the story since the flying saucer is still top secret or something. 4 feet in diameter, the propeller-powered flying dish can fly to over 1,000 meters, take off and land vertically, and go about 50MPH. The unmanned object can be programmed to fly a predetermined path or remotely controlled from allegedly great distances and was designed "for aerial photography, geological surveys, and emergency lighting." Alternatively, it could be used to play pranks on this poor dork.

Chinese company develops 'UFO': report [breitbart]

Thanks Mark and Melissa, you two want to go thirdies in on one?

Jun 17 2008 Tornado Picture Taken By A Crazy Woman

When I see a tornado I think, "holy shit, I'm gonna die and I haven't even seen a real-life boob", definitely not, "let me grab the camera and snap a couple shots." Well last tuesday, Lori Mehmen of Orchard Iowa did just that, and this is the result. Not sure if she was planning on documenting her trip to Oz or if she just had a death wish, but either way she ended up with an amazing shot. Thankfully, no one was injured in this particular tornado except some green hag that had a house fall on her. Yeah, and when nobody was looking I ganked her shoes. Later suckers! "There's no place like the strip club, there's no place like the strip club..."

UPDATE: So it turns out this isn't a tornado after all. It's just a "very picturesqe supercell with a pronounced low hanging meso". HA! -- "pronounced low hanging mesos". I've got a pair of those.

Why You Should Carry a Digital Camera At All Times [gizmodo]

Thanks Melissa, you want to help me lift this house? I want to check the body for jewelry.

Jun 17 2008 Gag Pens Help Prevent Unwanted Theft

Tired of co-workers *ahem, Superficial Writer, Iwatchstuff Writer* borrowing your analog writing instruments, only to never see them again? Well the Borrow My Pen? set ($7) aims to alleviate the problem of pen theft. Each features a fictional place of business along with a catchy phrase designed to prevent people from wanting to keep them. Stuff like Van Nuys Center For Cosmetic Surgery, "Specializing in Difficult Gender Reassignments". Clever, but not clever enough. I've got the feeling I'd still get pens stolen with these. That's why I had Sharpie make a set with my own clever phrases. Stuff like: The Geekologie Writer, "If You Can Read This You've Stolen My Pen And I'm About To F***ing Stab You With It" and Center For Infectious Disease, "Free Pen For New STD's".

A Pen That Will Always Be Returned [ohgizmo]

Jun 17 2008 Sand Vader Isn't The Worst Thing I've Seen

This is a picture of Darth Vader in sand sculpture form (aka Sand Vader). It's not bad if you squint your eyes and shake your head so you can't tell it's way out of proportion and Vader has creepy bug-eyes. Personally, I would have gone with a Jawa Sandcrawler and a bunch of those little freaks running around. Yeah -- and a giant Princess Leia. But what do I know? I've only won the Interplanetary Sand Sculpture Competition six years running. I know what the judges like. And let me tell you, a Princess Leia sand-boob would have gone a long way.

Hit the jump for several more sculptures, including a Rockbiter (Sandmuncher) from The Neverending Story (I cry just thinking about Artax drowning in the Swamp of Sadness), the Simpsons (Sandsons), and the Silver (Sand)Surfer.

Continue Reading " Sand Vader Isn't The Worst Thing I've Seen "

Jun 17 2008 These Animal Hairdos Are Turning Me On

Yow yow! There are few things sexier in the world than animal hairdos or eating steak off a naked woman's back while watching Sportscenter. Just look at these things -- hot, hot, hot! Especially the two I put together for that picture, because it looks like the two women are about to go at it, and the animals as well. So not only are you getting a sexy cat fight, but you're getting an erotic dingo/rhino battle to boot. Damn, my glasses are fogging up. And not just because I poured hot coffee in my face, although that probably contributed. So ladies, first one to get an animal hairdo wins a date with yours truly, The Geekologie Writer. Get the hair down there (beaver!) done too and I'll marry you.

Hit the jump for a whole bunch more animal hair awesomeness.

Continue Reading " These Animal Hairdos Are Turning Me On "

Jun 17 2008 How Not To Spend $150K: An Italian-Themed Home Theater In Some Dude's Basement

I'm as big a fan of themed home theater setups as the next guy who watches movies on a hand-me-down 24" CRT that rests atop a magazine pile entertainment stand. And we've certainly seen a good many bunch of a whole lot of different ones here on Geekologie. Hell, even some that didn't even have a theme, but were just plain ridiculous. However this Italian village themed home theater isn't doing it for me. Like I really want to watch movies right next to the Gastronomiche (which, based on the picture, sells home theater components alongside plastic meat and cheese).

While I'm not really digging the theater, hit the jump for the "Bourbon Street Room" he has in the basement as well. I admittedly wouldn't mind seeing some boobs in there. The whole house is over 15,000 square feet and the damn ceiling in his basement looks like it's 20 feet tall (and I thought my crawlspace has never felt more inadequate). Oh yeah, and there's another disturbing picture of what appears to be the world's gaudiest sex-room I've ever seen in my life. God this dude is making me so sick I could spit. Here I am, stuck watching a television manufactured before I was born while this dude gallivants around blowing $150,000 on a shitty home theater system. That's it, I'm selling a kidney. *sharpening letter opener* "Oooh Superficial Writer..."

Continue Reading " How Not To Spend $150K: An Italian-Themed Home Theater In Some Dude's Basement "

Jun 16 2008 A Lilypad For The Flood-Induced Apocalypse

The Lilypad Floating Ecopolis for Climate Refugees is a giant floating city that people can live on when the world floods because Al Gore was right. It looks weird but I reserved a spot anyways because I'll be damned if I live in a flooded house. Unless fish promised to swim around my legs while I watch TV, in which I'd consider it. Similar in concept to the Freedom Ship, this mammoth floater would likely cater to the rich. The architectures behind the design believe we'll need these things by 2100 because half of the world will have disappeared underwater. Or maybe just a third will be flooded, I forgot what they said. Maybe just my bathtub. The most unbelievable part about the whole thing? That they had the gall to include marine life in the picture! HA -- like they'll be anything alive in the oceans by 2100. I know, pretty depressing. Seriously though, I have to have sex with a mermaid before they're extinct.

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures (including one in which they intentionally made a city look like it's burning even though they're just supposed to be the lights from cars and buildings), along with a link to the project page with a bunch more info.

Continue Reading " A Lilypad For The Flood-Induced Apocalypse "

Jun 16 2008 World's Most Luxurious Cubicle Looks Like Absolute Crap, Cube Designer Clearly Lacks Theology And Geometry, Good Taste, Hair

I can say whatever I want about the hairless because I'm balder than the U.S. national bird (hint: despite Franklin's penchant for 101 proof bourbon, it's not the turkey). This is allegedly the world's most luxurious office cubicle, designed and built for himself by Jared Nielsen. That's him in the picture. As you can see he's big pimping. If big pimping means you're a monster dork with a competitive shit-eating grin on your face. Did I mention his desk clashes with the stain of the walls and floor? Because it does. I swear, no taste. Screw cubicles anyways, I disassembled mine and built a blanket fortress in its place. I call it Castle Geekskull, and it's impenetrable. BRING IT SUPERFICIAL WRITER! *firing staples* PEW PEW PEW! Holy shit, where'd you get the trebuchet?

The world's most luxurious office cubicle [dvice]

Jun 16 2008 Epic Failures: How Not To Drive A Tank

Tank Driving 101

Don't drive your tank off a cliff. Don't drive your tank too deep in a bog. Keep your treads on at all times. Don't try to mount another tank from behind unless you've taken it out for dinner and bought it a few drinks. Don't try to stunt-drive your tank on a single tread. And last but not least -- never, ever, ever pose for a picture with the tank you just f***ed up.

And while I'm not saying I could drive a tank any better than these guys, it'd be pretty hard not to.

A nice big gallery of tank mishaps (and a few planes for the hell of it) after the jump.

Continue Reading " Epic Failures: How Not To Drive A Tank "

Jun 16 2008 Wii Fit Balance Board Hack Uses Movement To Explore Google Earth, World Of Warcraft

Tired of only playing Wii Fit on the balance board? Want to use it for something else? Well look no further.

A couple of guys from DFKI (the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence) took a Balance Board and connected it to a regular old laptop PC. A custom C# application communicates with the controller via Bluetooth, translating simple leaning movements on the board into 3D moves on the computer.

There's a video after the jump showing how they use the board to navigate Google Earth and World Of Warcraft. But if you can't watch videos at work the picture above gives you a pretty good idea of what it looks like: some geek humping an imaginary woman from behind.

Hit the jump for the demo video, and the slightly NSFW video of a chick playing the Wii Fit hula-hoop game in her underwear in case you've been Bin Ladening it up in a cave for the past month and haven't seen it yet. Note: Try your best to ignore the idiotic pantstain that's filming it, he's one ugly bastard.

Continue Reading " Wii Fit Balance Board Hack Uses Movement To Explore Google Earth, World Of Warcraft "

Jun 16 2008 Graffitified AT-AT Up On The Auction Block

Remember that awesomely awesome decrepit looking AT-AT that won some model contest? Yeah, that thing was awesome. And you might think this one is too depending on how you feel about an AT-AT that's had the hell tagged out of it.

Suckadelic

Graff-At, 2002

Customized Hasbro Star Wars vehicle customized by professional Graffiti artists EASE and JK5 under the direction of SUCKADELIC. All tags are written in the Aurebesh language, a fictional letter system created for the in-world use for the 6 Star Wars films. The largest tag on the side of the vehicle spells the word REBEL. 16x18in.

The auction is expected to fetch between $1,500 and $2,000 but I have no idea what the bidding starts at. But if I had to guess I'd say right around Hoth. Get it? Because that's where the big AT-AT fight scene is in The Empire Strikes Back. Now laugh or the tauntaun gets it.

Christie's Auction Page

Thanks Chatham, let's outbid whoever wants it really bad and then break it in front of them

Jun 16 2008 Totally Safe: Guy Builds His Own Coaster

John Ivers is a man with a dream. A dream of building a roller coaster in his backyard. And he did it, using nothing but scrap metal, his welding skills, and "the seat of his pants". This leads me to believe John has balls of at least quartz (a 7 on Mohs hardness scale). The coaster features a 360 degree loop and is ridden on what appears to be a 1986 Toyota Camry car seat attached to a lawnmower frame. Way to go John, that thing looks like a lot of fun. Well, as long as dying on a homemade coaster in the middle of bumf*** is still considered a good time.

Homemade roller coaster looks incredibly dangerous [dvice]

Jun 16 2008 WTF?: Sudoku Addicts Ruin Drug Trial

A drug trial in Australia that's been going on for over three months and already cost taxpayers near $1 million has been halted as a result of jurors playing sudoku puzzles instead of paying attention.

Sydney District Court Judge Peter Zahra cancelled the trial of two men on drugs conspiracy charges after the jury foreperson admitted that four to five jurors had been playing the addictive number sequence game, local media reported.

One juror said the game helped them to pay more attention by keeping their mind busy.

"Some of the evidence is rather drawn out and I find it difficult to maintain my attention the whole time," the juror was quoted saying by the Australian Associated Press.

HA! Seriously, I have the attention span of a goldfish so I can completely understand where that person is coming from. But you can't just go sudokuing it up during a damn trail. That's what the DS and PSP are for.

Sudoku addicts halt drugs trial [yahoonews]

Thanks to Ray, who knows that crossword puzzles are where it's at anyways.

Jun 16 2008 Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee

The best I can tell the WASP Knife has nothing to do with white Protestants. Nope, it has to do with stabbing something and then releasing 24g of compressed gas into the wound and exploding their organs (VIDEO demo after the jump).

Since World War II, the military has seen much of its soldiers equipment go through many radical changes and technological advances. The knife has gone unchanged until now. Our soldiers deserve the most advanced equipment that is available to them. A simple knife is okay, but when it comes down to the last line of defense, you want something that will get the job done. Introducing the WASP Injection Knife. This easy-to-use, easy-to-reload weapon delivers up to a 24g shot of compressed gas at 800 PSI on land or underwater.

What the? I read on some message board that it was useful if you're attacked by a shark, as the compressed gas would screw with its ability to remain at depth and swim correctly. But besides that it just sounds like a dangerous freaking knife. The company's website is currently down claiming they are "in negotiations to sell it strictly on the non-civilian market" so I don't know if this website selling them for $389 is legit or not. Regardless, that knife scares the hell out of me. Almost as much as my freshman roommate in college did. I'd hear a strange noise at night and flip the light on to find he'd been sharpening a knife in the dark. And that, my friends, is when I started dating an ugly chick to sleep in her room.

Worthwhile VIDEO of the thing being demonstrated, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee "

Jun 13 2008 The Anger Release Machine Breaks Things

Let's face it, sometimes you're going apeshit and the only thing that'll make you feel better is breaking something. Enter the Anger Release Machine. It's a vending machine created by artists Katja Kublitz and Ronnie Yarisal that's filled with china. You just insert your money, choose a delicate porcelain object, and then watch it smash to smithereens in the bottom. That feels good, doesn't it? Hell yes it does. And so does screaming at your laptop. ISN'T THAT RIGHT YOU STUPID BLUE-SCREENING PIECE OF SHIT!? Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

Anger Release Machine, Spend Change, Smash China [uberreview]

Jun 13 2008 Smera Electric Car Concept Is Mad Skinny

The Lumeneo Smera is an electric car concept that's 8 feet long but only 31 inches wide (insert something about your penis here). It can reach 80 MPH and gets about 93 miles to a charge. Not too shabby.

Both of the front wheels on the Smera have their own 20hp electric motor which have a life expectancy of around 200,000 km. Those electric motors, as well as the rest of the vehicle, are all powered by a 144 volt lithium ion battery which weighs in at 180lbs.

The company is hoping to garner enough interest in the project to have models available for sale by the Paris Motor Show in October. Unfortunately, they'll be going for $30,000 - $46,000 and disintegrate if you get sideswiped, leaving you Smera'd (!) all over the road. HAHA! Okay, one nut punch, I deserve it.

Lumeneo Smera Electric Compact Car Concept [ohgizmo]

Jun 13 2008 New Roller Coaster Features 97 Degree Drop

The New Fahrenheit roller coaster at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania features a 97 degree drop at the beginning. That's 7 degrees past vertical (see picture: right side, where the track curves back in). At the bottom of the drop riders experience 4 G's and then puke and/or passout. The two minute ride is being billed as the steepest and most severe in the United States and the coaster just opened on May 24th. I'm not riding it. And not because I don't love roller coasters (I do), but because of this quote from Popular Mechanics:

(Talking about the testing of the ride) First, engineers load the trains full of heavy water dummies, to figure out how the cars will behave when they're at capacity. The rules say you need 100 hours of this testing, but engineers at the park said they would run over 1,000 rides before people got on the coaster.

Stop the presses. If the ride is 2 minutes long and you run 1,000 rides, that's, uh, only 33 hours and 20 minutes of testing. You weren't the same engineers that designed the ride are you? You don't say. Say, if you wouldn't mind unstrapping me, I'd like to get the f*** off this thing before I make a little chocolate of my own.

Another picture and the video after the jump.

Continue Reading " New Roller Coaster Features 97 Degree Drop "

Jun 13 2008 Guy Scores Himself A DWI On Cooler Scooter

Well folks, they finally got me. After months of (relatively) incident free cooler scooting around town, I finally scored my first DWI while doing 13 MPH down the sidewalk.

Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his "Cruzin Cooler," Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.

Marr's electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.

These jackasses have the story all wrong. First off, my name is Leslie J. "Mad Bomber" Marr, and secondly, there were only 12 beers left because I slammed two before the cop got out of his car.

Under New York state law, driving any motorized vehicle must be done without alcohol, including motorized coolers. In various states, other modes of transportation in which driving is prohibited while intoxicated include lawnmowers, boats, bicycles, golf carts, wheelchairs and horses.

Wow, no drunk wheelchairing, huh? Why don't we just go the extra mile and make being handicapped illegal too?

Man Gets DWI After Riding Motorized Cooler [wgal]

Thanks Jacob, now everyone's gonna make fun of me

Jun 13 2008 Oh Great, We're Doomed: British Complete Skynet Network, Actually Calling It Skynet

Well folks, it's the beginning of the end. With the launch of their last communications satellite, the British have added the final link to their Skynet 5 communications system.

Skynet 5 is the latest iteration of a global communications system deployed by the British Armed Forces. The final satellite in the system was launched this week, and will allow high-bandwidth telecommunications between British forces located anywhere in the world. In addition to voice communications, it will allow data transfer and the remote control of robot airplanes, one of which is called "The Reaper." One of the manufacturers was quoted by BBC News as saying: "So, computers can talk directly to computers."

Haha, we're all f***ed. And here's the real kicker -- the system is actually privately owned and the British Armed Forces are only getting a piece of the bandwidth. Wow. Run for the hills, Terminators coming! Seriously, this can't be good. And while it's not the worst news I've ever heard, it takes second only to "Honey, I'm pregnant."

Sarah Connor Has Failed -- the British Just Built Skynet [io9]

Thanks Shawn, you know how I love bad news on Fridays

Jun 13 2008 Folding Plane Perfect For Drug Smugglers

Ah yes, another plane for the drug-smuggling readers out there. The ICON A5 is actually a luxury aircraft aimed at rich people that have more money than they know what to do with and don't want to bother going through all the training required for a regular pilot's license.

"We designed it so that people who don't know airplanes know that something has changed," Kirk Hawkins, ICON's chief executive officer, told Popular Mechanics.

What's changed are federal regulations, which created a new form of airplane and a new kind of pilot license that requires less training and no medical check to obtain. The Federal Aviation Administration created the Sport Pilot category in 2004, but only now are players large and small entering this virgin market.

The plane has folding wings so you can store it in a garage, and comes with its own trailer. For safety, it has a parachute that will deploy and float you back to earth safely should you do something stupid while attempting to join the mile-high club. Which, incidentally, I'm a member of. I say alone counts.

A bunch more pictures (including folded wings and cockpit), along with a boring video of the plane's unveiling party, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Folding Plane Perfect For Drug Smugglers "

Jun 13 2008 Chug 2 Beers In 2 Seconds With The Bierstick

Now I love drinking beer just as much as the next raging alcoholic whose BAC can't drop below .12 (think Speed, but with less bus and more cirrhosis), and definitely took my share of beer-bongs and shotguns in college. But a time comes in every man's life when it's time to settle down and drink beer out of a glass instead of a plastic funnel or the side of a can you've punctured with your car keys. So I'm gonna have to pass on the Bierstick. It's a device that allows the user to drink up to 24 oz of beer in less than two seconds. You just pour the beer in, push the end against a wall (or a scantily clad chick's chest -- picture after the jump!) and slam into it when you're ready to shoot beer out nose. Each stick will set you back $20 but guarantees you'll be the life of the sausage party.

And since it's Friday and you've all been good this week, a picture of two hot chicks in their bras using the thing after the jump. Also, I added a few videos of people using similar devices (which appear to be paint sticks) as evidence that it does it fact make you look like you're going to town on a monster beer-filled dong.

Continue Reading " Chug 2 Beers In 2 Seconds With The Bierstick "

Jun 13 2008 ZOMG!: Epic Mario-Themed Wedding Cake

Truthfully, we've seen some pretty stunning Mario edibles in the past, but this one might very well take the cake (I'm a stupid a-hole!). At first glance I thought this was a Super Mario Galaxy themed cake, but it's actually Mario Kart (the interplanetary scene is Rainbow Road, check the other pics for a better angle). Wow, just wow. Amazing work. I would have loved to have something like this at my wedding, but I got hitched at one of those drive-thru's in Vegas. It was a McDonald's and we had a hash brown cake with ketchup icing. What can I say, I was marrying a whore.

Hit the jump for a bunch more worthwhile closeups.

Continue Reading " ZOMG!: Epic Mario-Themed Wedding Cake "

Jun 12 2008 Wow: Little Kids Firing Automatic Weapons

This video is old. Old as anything else that was filmed in 2005. But I hadn't seen it until now, and it's awesome. Awesome in a "holy shit, four-year olds are blowing up cars with automatic weapons" kind of way. Make sure you have the volume down on your speakers, it gets kind of loud. The video was taken during "Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot", an annual event in which kids with no motor skills destroy things with automatic weapons. Just watch it. I love how at 0:14 when the car starts rolling and the kids start firing at it, you understand just how dangerous a weapon is in the hands of a child. Now I'm not sure how many people typically die at this awesome annual event, but if I had to guess I'd say oh my God they're training these kids to be in a militia.

Toddlers shooting machine guns at cars [bbgadgets]

Jun 12 2008 Black Box Casemod Is Actually Bright Red

Some guy scored an old black box (flight data recorder) off eBay and, after removing the asbestos and fiberglass it was stuffed with, threw a Linux server up in that mother. I love the look, but an indestructible casemod just isn't for me. I need an acid-bath casemod that destroys itself should I not log onto my computer for 24 hours. Because otherwise:

The Geekologie Writer wasn't the brightest star in the sky, nor was he handsome by anyone's standards, but he did love his job. And, as was discovered posthumously, cartoon porn. Superficial Writer, please return to your seat. The Geekologist specifically requested no one pee in his casket.

Hit the jump for a few more shots of the mod.

Continue Reading " Black Box Casemod Is Actually Bright Red "

Jun 12 2008 Chicago Building World's 2nd Tallest Building

Chicago has started construction of the world's 2nd tallest building, the Chicago Spire, which, when completed in 2011, will stand 610 meters (2,000 feet) tall. However, the accolade will be short lived, as the 612 meter (2,009 foot) Russian Tower in Moscow is scheduled for completion in 2012. The Chicago Spire will be the world's tallest residential-only building though, and have 150 floors with 1,194 condominiums ranging in price from $750,000 to $40 million (a nice place to visit but a better place to rob). Let's see, what else? Ah yes, the spire makes one complete 360 degree turn from top to bottom and "has been labeled as a giant 'drill bit' by the public and others in the media have likened it to a 'tall twisting tree' and a 'blade of grass'". Wow, those are the worst descriptions I've ever heard. These people are either pretentious a-holes are high as hell on their own 'twisted trees' and 'blades of grass'. Seriously, it's a giant freaking dildo.

Chicago building world's second-largest skyscraper [dvice]

Jun 12 2008 XBox 360 Cake Looks Good Enough To Eat

It's been a little while since we've posted any sweets on Geekologie, so I figured it was about that time. This is an XBox 360 cake made by Heather Spencer, who is finishing her Associates degree in Baking and Pastry Arts, possibly at some school near Grand Blanc, Michigan (I'm working from a Myspace profile here, folks). The cake looks good. Good enough to eat -- which you really could because it's a cake! I don't have much more info, except I'd hit it. You know, my girlfriend offered to make me a custom cake for my birthday and I said I loved the idea. She told me to choose something that I really like and she'd try her best to turn it into a cake. I thought and thought but finally just told her to go with her own design, something that really exemplified me as a person. So my birthday rolls around and HELLO giant asshole cake.

Hit the jump for closeups of the controller and box, as well as a link to her Myspace gallery with a bunch more delicious cakes.

Continue Reading " XBox 360 Cake Looks Good Enough To Eat "

Jun 12 2008 Wrong, Just Plain Wrong: Goldfish Keychains

Vendors in Qingdao, China are selling these sealed keychains with a (temporarily) live goldfish inside. It's just plain wrong and makes me want to punch someone in their freaking head.

The fish would survive just a few hours, and would be lucky to make it from the manufacturers to the point of sale. We are shocked and appalled. It is a gimmick and shows no respect for the animals at all.

Jesus, if there's one thing I hate in the world it's animal abusers and pederasts. And whoever is behind this scheme is clearly both. Are there any Geekologie operatives functioning in Qingdao? If so, report back and we'll develop a course of action -- kick assction.

Goldfish Keyring With Live Goldfish [weirdasianews]

Thanks to Melissa and Allyson, who are as upset as I am about this.

Jun 12 2008 Robotic Dog Better Than The Real Thing For Combating Loneliness In Old Folks

Researchers at St. Louis University are using Aibo, a discontinued (maulings) robot dog from Sony to study how a robotic pet can alleviate loneliness in old folks. According to their study, a dog made out of metal and plastic is just as good as a real puppy. And possible even better since they could be fitted with sensors and shit to take a patient's pulse, blood pressure, savings account, etc. The video is a must watch, as the old people are the cutest bunch of nuts I've ever seen. I'm still skeptical about the whole robotic dog thing though. I mean, some crazy old bat brings a Big Dog home, and the next thing you know, dead old people everywhere. And then who would AOL sell their internet services to?

Robot Dog Therapy [sciencentral]

Thanks to Shawn, who knows how much I love old people and hate robots

Jun 12 2008 Anatomy Of A Gummi Bear (They Have Bones)

From the same artist that brought us the anatomy of a balloon animal comes this anatomical study of gummi bears. As you can see, there's a lot more going on inside than just delicious gummidom. They've got brains, bones, and even penises. So yeah, not eating gummi bears anymore. Say, have I ever told you about the time I bet my roommate he couldn't fit a whole package of gummis in his mouth at once? Yeah, he choked to death. Now I have the big room!

Artist's Site (hit it for a bigger picture and other cool art)

Thanks Alex and Shawn, I didn't like gnawing the heads off those gummy bastards anyways

Jun 12 2008 Unicorn Discovered, Little Girls And I Rejoice

This is a picture of a unicorn. A real, live unicorn. While technically not a corncob, a single horn protrudes from the center of the animal's head. The deer, which resides in Tuscany, Italy, has a twin with regular horns. It was born in captivity after its mother was struck by a car and unable to fend for herself in the wild.

The earliest mention of the beast was by the Greek historian Herodotus in the 5th century BC.

In one notebook, Leonardo Da Vinci suggested unicorns could be captured using a virgin as bait.

Okay, so which one of you is gonna be the bait? HA! Just kidding, I'll do it :(

'Unicorn' born in Italy [telegraph]

Thanks Bryan and Ling, now let's capture that thing and offer unicorn rides at children's birthdays -- we'll be rich!

Jun 11 2008 Darwinism At Work: How Not To Shoot A Gun

If there's one thing I love in life, it's a good gun-firing blooper video. Sex-blooper videos are good too, but often remind me of my own incredible shortcomings (falling off the toilet, thinking I'm the only one home). Well this particular video is gun-only, but still awesome. I've seriously never seen so many people who shouldn't breed in a single 1:13 video before.

Youtube

Thanks Jake, now lets go do something really dangerous. No, not like having sex with my ex-girlfriend. I said dangerous, not diseasey.

Jun 11 2008 Washer Works With A Single Cup Of Water

Well we've seen water conserving washing machines before, but in this age of waste, there can never be enough conceptual green washers. And now inventors at Leeds University claim to have invented a washer than can efficiently clean clothes using only (two girls) one cup of water and a bunch of plastic chips.

The process is based on the use of plastic granules (or chips) which are tumbled with the clothes to remove stains. A range of tests, carried out according to worldwide industry protocols to prove the technology performs to the high standards expected in the cleaning industry, show the process can remove virtually all types of everyday stains as effectively as existing processes whilst leaving clothes as fresh as normal washing. In addition, the clothes emerge from the process almost dry, reducing the need for tumble-driers. Xeros' technology uses as little as a cup of water in each wash cycle and could also bring benefits to other industrial processes such as wastewater treatment and metal degreasing.

Interesting. There is speculation as to whether the energy (and oil) involved in manufacturing the plastic chips necessary to wash clothes outweighs the water saved. So we'll see how that plays out. Regardless though, those stupid inventors have it all wrong. Screw using plastic chips, they need to build a washer that cleans with Doritos. Now that's a freaking washer.

Washing Machine Drinks Just One Cup of Water Per Wash [uk.gizmodo]

Thanks to Andrea, who washes clothes the old fashioned way, by buying new ones

Jun 11 2008 HP's New Monitor Rocks Out With Its Color Out, Can Produce Over A Billion Of Them

The HP DreamColor LP2480xz is a 24-inch LED backlit monitor that can display over a billion colors (~64x what a typical LCD monitor can do). Unfortunately they cost $3,499. But if you're an artist or someone who really values accurate color display, maybe it's the monitor for you. And speaking of art, I bet this thing can display the hell out of some porno. Am I right? Hells yeah. *high fives* This old CRT can't replicate a natural nipple hue to save it's tube. Nipples aside though, vagina. Bet it looks good on that thing.

Hit the jump for another questionable comparison vs. regular LCD and a couple other product shots.

Continue Reading " HP's New Monitor Rocks Out With Its Color Out, Can Produce Over A Billion Of Them "

Jun 11 2008 Good Freaking Job: Felt Plush Nintendo

Well we've seen plush gaming systems before, but nothing as wickedly awesome as this felt NES. Made by Craftster user blueblythe, the felt was all hand-dyed, stitched, and embroidered. It took about two weeks to complete and features an NES that can open and have cartridges inserted, a controller and zapper than can be connected, and a television with interchangeable Super Mario 3 and Duck Hunt screens. It looks almost as fun as playing the real thing, and probably a lot more comfortable to sleep on. Good job, my hat's off to you blueblythe, as are my pants. WHEE!! *swinging pants around over my head like a helicopter* Uh oh, here comes The Superficial Writer, and from the look of things he wants to join my pants-free party. Quickly, back on!

Hit the jump for a bunch more closeups of the awesomely soft system.

Continue Reading " Good Freaking Job: Felt Plush Nintendo "

Jun 11 2008 Office Rampage Video That Was So Awesome Is Indeed Fake, Viral Marketing For Wanted

Remember the bad-to-the-ass office rampage video from last week? Turns out it's fake after all. And if that wasn't bad enough, it was a viral marketing video made by Russian director Timur Bekmambetov to hype his new movie, Wanted, starring Angelina Jolie and James MacAvoy. Good job Timur, you totally had me fooled. And for successfully pulling off the hoax I will now reward you by boycotting Wanted. And not just because I hate being tricked, but because you're an asshole and the movie will probably suck anyways. So Timur, you better pray The Iwatchstuff Writer says that shit is solid freaking gold, otherwise I'm picketing the hell out of the local theater.

Cubicle Farm Rampage Video Was Just A Viral Marketing Stunt [gizmodo]

Jun 11 2008 Baby Born With Extra Thingie On Its Back

I've been contemplating whether or not to post this since last night, but since so many people sent it in, and I'm a sucker for peer pressure (I do drugs now), I guess I am. Of course, the story was broken by The Sun, so it's probably faker than the license I use to buy beer with (I'm only 17) anyways. Allegedly a son born to Li Jun, a 30-year old farmer from Hejian City in China's Henan province, was born with an extra penis on his back. I had a kid on my swim team growing up with an extra nipple on his back, but never have I heard of a spare penis. The appendage is the result of a condition known as fetus in fetu, in which one twin is partially reabsorbed by the other. Thankfully, the baby underwent surgery to remove the unit (which was attached to the spine) and the baby has made a full recovery and will live a normal, one penis life.

Seriously, Geekologie is thankful the surgery was a success, the baby is healthy and doing well, and wonders if doctors could attach that thing to me somewhere. Anywhere, I don't care. Forehead's fine.

Uncensored picture of the thing after the jump. WARNING: It's a baby with a penis on it's back.

Continue Reading " Baby Born With Extra Thingie On Its Back "

Jun 11 2008 Romanian Fighter Jet Gets Hit By UFOs, Aliens Arrested For Flying Under The Influence

On October 31st, 2007 a Romanian Mig 21 Lancer was struck by not one but four UFOs and the government has now released footage of said incident. As can be unclearly seen in the untranslated video at 0:49 and 1:16, the aliens were flying what appear to be the black smoke from Lost when they hit the plane. Afterwards, the pilot was able to land the aircraft without incident.

Lt. Col. Nicolae Grigorie said a video recorded by cameras onboard the plane depicts "two solid bodies, which are not translucid." Grigorie said authorities are working to determine what the objects could have been. "They couldn't be birds because there are no birds in Europe able to fly so high. And they couldn't be ice bodies because it was a clear sky -- neither could they be pieces of another plane or a meteor," he said.

He said the government has ruled out rocket launches and ground artillery fires as causes of the incident.

When asked what he thought the objects were, Grigorie exclaimed, "F***ing aliens, yo! Tape your buttcheeks together before bed, the wonk eyed bastards are coming!"

UFOs hit Romanian plane [upi]

Thanks Mikal, I'm now officially adding aliens to my apocalyptic fears

Jun 11 2008 BMW Makes Morphable, Fabric-Covered Car

Yesterday BMW unveiled their GINA Visionary Model, a fabric-covered vehicle that can change shapes with the push of a button.

Chris Bangle (head of design at BMW) and his team actually built GINA -- which stands for "Geometry and functions In 'N' Adaptions" -- six years ago, but BMW kept it under, er, wraps until Tuesday. It's built on the Z8 chassis and has a 4.4-liter V8 and six-speed automatic transmission. BMW says the fabric skin - polyurethane-coated Lycra - is resilient, durable and water resistant. It's stretched over an aluminum frame controlled by electric and hydraulic actuators that allow the owner to change the body shape. Want a big spoiler on the back? Wider fenders? No problem. "The drastic reinterpretation of familiar functionality and structure means that drivers have a completely new experience when they handle their car," BMW says.

Neat idea BMW, but what's up with the gaudy silver skin? You put all that effort into building a morphable, fabric-covered car and don't even use denim? You got no class.

A TON more MUST SEE pictures and a video, along with links to much longer articles, after the jump.

Continue Reading " BMW Makes Morphable, Fabric-Covered Car "

Jun 10 2008 $100 Million Supercomputer Breaks Petaflop Barrier, Supposed To Keep U.S. Nuclear Weapon Stockpiles Safe And Reliable, Eek!

The $100 Million Roadrunner supercomputer was designed and built by IBM for the Department of Energy's National Nuclear Security Administration and is housed at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico. It was named Roadrunner before that's New Mexico's state bird and because they're fast. Also, Wile E. Coyote is a dipshit.

The Roadrunner is a hybrid machine, the world's first, that uses both traditional computer chips and the Cell Broadband Engine which was designed for the PS3. It occupies 6,000 square feet, weighs 500,000 lbs and delivers world-leading efficiency - 376 million calculations per watt. Roadrunner will be used primarily to ensure the safety and reliability of the U.S. nuclear weapons stockpile (we're all gonna die!). It will also do research into astronomy, energy, human genome science and climate change.

It was the first to perform at a petaflop (one thousand trillion calculations per second), and would make a great secondary computer if I had room for it. Some interesting info from the press release:

In total, Roadrunner connects 6,948 dual-core AMD Opteron® chips (on IBM Model LS21 blade servers) as well as 12,960 Cell engines (on IBM Model QS22 blade servers). The Roadrunner system has 80 terabytes of memory, and is housed in 288 refrigerator-sized, IBM BladeCenter® racks occupying 6,000 square feet. Its 10,000 connections - both Infiniband and Gigabit Ethernet -- require 57 miles of fiber optic cable. Roadrunner weighs 500,000 lbs. Companies that contributed components and technology include; Emcore, Flextronics, Mellanox and Voltaire.

Well that's sweet and all, but the real question is this: Can it handle me watching four or five pornos, playing Crysis, and downloading some movies illegally all at the same time? Hah -- really? Well how about all those things AND writing a nasty email to an ex-girlfirend? Got you there you stupid Roadrunner! WILE E. COYOTE FOR THE -- goddammit.

A video about the computer after the jump, along with links to very in-depth and wordy articles about it.

Continue Reading " $100 Million Supercomputer Breaks Petaflop Barrier, Supposed To Keep U.S. Nuclear Weapon Stockpiles Safe And Reliable, Eek! "

Jun 10 2008 German Waterslide Does A Loopty-Loop

This is a video of a new waterslide in Germany that does a loopty loop. It's not straight up and down or anything, but it's still pretty damn impressive. The ride starts with you standing in a little chamber and then getting dropped through the trap-door floor. It looks like a lot of fun. As long as shitting your banana hammock on a German water slide is your idea of fun.

Another, longer video showing how the thing was made, after the drop.

Continue Reading " German Waterslide Does A Loopty-Loop "

Jun 10 2008 Hood Airbags To Help Save Pedestrians?

Let's face it, getting hit by a car sucks unless the person driving is filthy rich and you don't get hurt but can fake a good neck or back injury. Well now Toyoda Gosei has begun the testing of hood and grill airbags to help protect people on foot. They're activated via some combination of camera and radar sensors and may or may not launch pedestrians even further than you would have been without them. Whether they make it to actual production awaits to be seen, but if you're regularly running over people I recommend rigging a mattress to your hood during the interim. Or you could, I don't know, STOP DRIVING ON THE FREAKING SIDEWALK.

One more picture of the car after the jump.

Continue Reading " Hood Airbags To Help Save Pedestrians? "

Jun 10 2008 "Pet Boys" Gaining Popularity In Korea

Pet boys are real guys that put themselves up for "adoption" by South Korean women. It's basically for chicks that want a boyfriend that they can shit on all the time.

Pet Boys, who are often college kids in their 20's, find "Being someone's pet is stress free job with no financial burden at all."

The idea came from a Japanese anime story that was popular about 5 years ago. It was about a business woman who always had bad luck in relationships. One day, she decided to take home a young man off the street to live with her as her pet.

Huh? Apparently Pet Boy services are popping up around Korea, and recently a TV show had over 2,200 applicants after advertising Pet Boy positions. This makes no sense whatsoever. All I can gather is that the chicks want a boyfriend they can lock in the closet and treat however they want, and the guys all hope to eventually get some. Ha, good luck guys -- too bad there's a universal taboo against having sex with pets.

Would you Adopt a "Pet Boy"? [weirdasianews]

Thanks Shawn and Rya, now where do I sign myself up for adoption?

Jun 10 2008 Good Job: 14-Year Old Makes His Own Cars

Naman Chopra is a 14-year old boy in India who makes his own freaking cars. He's built two so far, a little red sports car and the limo seen there in the picture.

The black beauty is also made from junk and is capable of speeds of up to 130MPH. It has a 1498 cc engine borrowed from Daewoo Cielo. This car is equipped with power windows, power steering, manual 5 speed transmission, sun and moon roof, central locking, tubeless tires, 15" alloy wheels, clear headlamps, driver and rear passenger separation (just like in a real limousine), runs on gasoline, stereo, leather seats. Both cars are in perfect running condition.

Good looking, Naman -- very impressive work. You've definitely got a bright future in the automotive industry if you keep this up. I seriously can't believe the ingenuity of today's youth. They're making all sorts of incredible things. It's amazing. The only thing I was making at that age was out with Peder Lou. Oh, you thought I was joking about that last post didn't you? Well I wasn't. I've got enough emotional baggage to fill the all too familiar back of a 1991 Ford Econoline.

Hit the jump for more pictures (including the other vehicle), and a link to the more in-depth article.

Continue Reading " Good Job: 14-Year Old Makes His Own Cars "

Jun 10 2008 Security Robot Protects South Korean Children From "Free Candy" Scams

We've seen Japanese robot babysitters, but now South Korea is ramping it up a notch with an actual robotic security guard for children. The $100,000 robot, dubbed OFRO, has been placed in Seoul middle schools and alerts officials to suspicious behavior.

According to the developers the robot could be useful in alerting staff in case outsiders intend to seduce students. Chief Executive of Du Robo, Kang Jung-Won, told Korea Times that one of the possible scenarios is that in case OFRO spots someone trying to seduce a student it will immediately alert school's officials.

After the robot has alerted teachers, they have several opportunities: whether to warn the offender via loudspeaker or send school's security guards.

OFRO has a top speed of about 3 miles/hour which is slow as shit and can be programmed to walk a regular route or controlled manually. Now where the hell were these things when I was a kid? We had all kind of damned creeps hanging around the middle school. Seriously, Peder Lou's Free Candy Van was like a second home growing up.

South Korea Hires Robot to Protect Children [weirdasianews]

Thanks MIKAL, now lets go blow up some white vans

Jun 10 2008 Disney Tours Now Available On Google Earth

We've all known for some time how useful Google Maps can be to spot drug deals in progress, but now Google, in their unending quest for interweb supremacy, is offering Disney tours through Google Earth.

Visitors can walk or fly around the park as they wish. Information on the park's 1,500 attractions pops up on the side of the screen, along with photos, videos and booking details. Even the park's numerous statues, benches, lamp posts and banners are included.

It currently only features the outside of buildings, but there are plans for an update that will allow virtual visitors to enter the attractions and hotel rooms.

"HEY KIDS, WHO WANTS TO GO TO DISNEYWORLD!?!? Okay, now gather around the monitor..."

Disney World 3D tours on Google Earth [telegraph]

Thanks Steve, now my kids hate me

Jun 10 2008 Videos: Popping Popcorn With Cell Phones

This is a video of people popping a few kernels of popcorn using nothing but cell phones. A ton of similar videos have appeared on Youtube recently (more posted after the jump). Needless to say, they're fake. It's just a variation of the "cook an egg with a cellphone" hoax that went around a few years ago. And as awesome as it would be to save $8 by sneaking in and popping your own popcorn in the movie theater, it ain't gonna happen. If cell phones had to power to actually pop corn, my girlfriend's head would have exploded years ago.

Hit the jump for several more of the FAKE! videos.

Continue Reading " Videos: Popping Popcorn With Cell Phones "

Jun 9 2008 The 3G iPhone Is Here, Fanboys Rejoice And Start Waiting Outside Apple Stores, I Get Drunk And Try To Forget About Life Like Any Other Day

Well folks, after months of rumors and speculation, Apple officially announced the new 3G iPhone today at the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference. It has exactly everything everyone thought it would. Well, except when I thought it was going to be a 3D iPhone. Because it doesn't have that. Everything else though, like 3G speed and GPS. The only real news is the price -- $199 for an 8GB, $299 for 16GB. And as an added bonus, the 16 is also available in white. Oh happy day! They'll all be available starting July 11th, so I'm headed up to the closest Apple store to start my month-long camp out. And by "start my month-long camp out" I mean I'll plow my car into the front of the line right before the store opens so I can be first. And by "plow my car into the front of the line right before the store opens" I mean continue lying on the couch. And by "continue lying on the couch" I quite literally mean I'm just gonna keep lying here.

New Apple iPhone

Jun 9 2008 Putter Pisser: Relieve Yourself Discreetly

I always thought when you were out on the links and had to pee you yelled 'Fore!' and pissed in a bunker or on a tree. Well apparently that's not kosher and you need a UroClub (Putter Pisser sounds better) urine collection device. I'm not so sure what's so discreet about pissing down the shaft of a fake golf club, but whatever.

Just place an inconspicuous towel over your junk, unscrew the cap of the club disguised to look like a 7-iron, and whiz away--up to half a liter. When you're done, stick the leak-proof club back in your bag and take your next shot.

The questionable device costs $50 and doesn't hold enough if you've been following the rules of golf and drinking the whole game. And that's why I'll be sticking to the sand traps. They typically provide good cover, and you can even drop some kids off at the beach if you have to. But remember: if you do, stay classy and cover them up like a cat does.

UroClub Lets Golfers Go Pee-Pee in Public [gizmodo]

Thanks Chris, and remind me to never shake your hand

Jun 9 2008 Build An Arc Reactor And Be Just Like Iron Man, Minus Everything Cool About Iron Man

Some guy made a pretty reasonable Instructable about how to build your own arc reactor like Iron Man. You have to do some polymorph plastic molding and solder some LEDs though, so you may want to hire some child labor (my kids work cheap) to ensure you don't injure yourself in the process. Once its finished you just throw that sucker under a shirt and you're off to looking good. Well, as long as you're not pasty as hell and sporting a gray undershirt. Oh, it looks good on you though.

Instructable
via
Make Your Own Iron Man Arc Reactor [ohgizmo]

Jun 9 2008 Uh-Oh: Robot Achieves Self-Replication

Self-replication is the third sign of an imminent robot takeover according to The Book Of The Robot Apocalypse, a novella I just wrote and which only contains that sentence. Well RepRap is a 3-D printer that is capable of replicating itself. Sort of.

Technophobes needn't run for the hills just yet. The replicating rapid-prototyper, or "RepRap", can only reproduce its plastic parts, not its metal or electronic components. And assembling it is an afternoon's work for a human being, says Adrian Bowyer, the University of Bath mechanical engineer who launched the RepRap project in 2004.

Okay, I didn't read all that but I did catch something about running for the hills, which I'm totally doing after this post. I suggest you come with me or get started on a robot-proof bunker of you own. But under no circumstances should you try banging your vacuum to produce a robot-fighting cyborg. I know it sounds like a solid plan, but trust me, it isn't. And if you're not going to heed my warning and must try anyways, at least listen to this: when you do get stuck (and you will), cut off as much of the hose as you safely can before going to the hospital. A foot of vacuum hose you can hide, but you show up trailing an entire shop-vac between your legs and the hospital staff will suspect something. Like that you're a pervert and your penis is stuck in the vacuum.

Dawn of the self replicating-machine [newscientisttech]
and
The Official RepRap Blog

Thanks to Byard and Eric, who both know that the only good self-replicating robot is a dead self-replicating robot

Jun 9 2008 Lightning Guns To Help Fight The War On Terrorism, Old People With Pacemakers

A company called Applied Energetics is developing lightning guns capable of stalling cars and shorting IEDs from a safe distance. They were originally planning on using them on people, but have since moved to cars and bombs after an unsuccessful attempt at rounding up test subjects (bums). The weapon is expected to be ready within 5-6 years and I'll definitely be adding one to my anti-robot arsenal. You hear that, Zeus? I said I won't be needing your lightning bolt services after all. Your rates were ridiculous anyways you greedy bastard. Oh, and while I'm at it -- I banged your wife/sister Hera! Two birds with one stone, baby! Chalk it up.

Lightning Guns to Short Out Cars, Fry Roadside Bombs [gizmodo]

Thanks Sev, don't lightning me bro!

Jun 9 2008 UPDATE: Eagle Gets Bionic Beak Story

Remember the bald eagle whose beak was shot off by some asshole poacher? Well she's finally rocking a bionic replacement, albeit temporary. "The new beak is only a temporary fix, designed to nail down precise measurements." That's a real picture of it there. Beauty (the eagle) needed the fake beak in order to grasp food and not require hand-feeding.

"She's got a grill," joked Nate Calvin, the Boise engineer who spent 200 hours designing the complex beak.

HAHAHAHA! A grill! A bird with a grill, that's priceless. *wipes tear* God, you should do standup.

Seriously though Nate, my hat's off to you and everyone else volunteering their time and expertise. You've all done a great job and made me hate people a little less.

Eagle wounded by poacher gets new beak [msnbc]

Thanks for keeping me up to date Matt, now lets go find that poacher

Jun 9 2008 Emoticon Mask Hides Your True Emotions

The Mask Of Emotion was developed by the Digital Media Design Department at Hongik University in Korea and should have been included in Majora's Mask. The bulbous headgear hides true emotions and instead shows one of seven emoticons chosen by the wearer. It also makes crossing busy intersections infinitely more dangerous. I suggest my girlfriend wear one in the bedroom when we're getting intimate. Partly because she's so painful to look at, but mostly because I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Seriously, I can count the number of times I've been with a woman on two hands.*

*Minus one hand, three and a half fingers.

Emoticon mask will make you smile [make]

Thanks to Kari, who wears her emotions on her sleeve

Jun 9 2008 Eye Candy/Poison: Wicked Gaming Tattoos

First off, I'll kick my current girlfriend to the curb and marry you if that's you in the picture (the chick with the ink, not one of the dudes). I mean that. The only way to the Geekologie Writer's heart is a permanent reminder that you love the Zelda series as much as I do. So ladies, if you're looking to get into these Umbros (I'm wearing them as boxers), now you know how. Just fire off an email with a picture of your Zelda-themed tattoo attached and we'll get our elope on. Then we'll honeymoon in Hyrule. I know people. Like a Goron that'll sell us some bombs. Seriously, what better way to profess our undying love for each other than blowing some shit up and stealing rupees from the townspeople? Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, that was the most romantic thing ever written.

More MUST SEE gaming tattoos after the jump, including several Marios, another Zelda, a Pac-Man on someone's ass (don't worry, I censored the crack) and the epicest of epic Star Wars tattoo just for the hell of it (why is guy's face blurred? I'd be proud as hell). Also a link to the 40+ picture gallery thats also worth checking out.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy/Poison: Wicked Gaming Tattoos "

Jun 6 2008 OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets

A "Cannibal Banquet" is gross and involves eating a sort of fake human.

Here's how the Cannibal Banquet works... a pinata-like "body" is carefully crafted, then stuffed with edible goodies in a red sauce. More "sauce" is somehow embedded into the outside covering - "skin" as it were - of the body so that it will appear to bleed when cut into.

What.The.F***? And I thought the Bread Head Bakery was an assault on good taste. This cannibal banquet is a fullblown wack attack. I'd still try it though. Save the neck for me, Clark. Ooh, and a breast.

Hit the jump for worthwhile before and after shots (don't worry, the beaver is pixelated in traditional Japanese porn fashion).

Continue Reading " OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets "

Jun 6 2008 Derrie-Air: Pack Less. Weigh Less. Pay Less.

Derrie-Air is an airline that believes the less you and your baggage weighs, the less you should pays. It's fake and part of an ad campaign run by a Philadelphia newspaper to f*** with fat people.

Philadelphia Media Holdings spokesman Jay Devine said the goal is to "demonstrate the power of our brands in generating awareness and generating traffic for our advertisers, and put a smile on people's faces."

A disclaimer labels the ad campaign "fictitious" and says it is designed "to test the results of advertising in our print and online products and to stimulate discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens."

"In other words," it says, "smile, we're pulling your leg."

Oh I'm smiling alright, but only because that's not my leg you're pulling, Jay. You have such soft hands. Hey, I didn't say stop.

Derrie-Air
via
Paper runs ads about fake airline Derrie-Air [msnbc]

Thanks to Dan and Matt, one of which better sneak me into their luggage on their next vacation -- or else.

Jun 6 2008 Video Of The B-2 Bomber Crash Released

Remember the B-2 Bomber that crashed in February? Well the government has finally released footage of the $1.2 billion disaster after verifying there were no aliens, terrorists, zombies, polygamists, or rogue robots involved. It's pretty sad to watch, especially since the camera operator has the motor skills of a newborn. The first half of the video is another B-2 taking off, so skip through halfway to see the second one that actually crashes. It's not super-crazy or anything, but the crew ejector-seating out was neat to watch. The rest is just sad. Like the family video of me crashing my bike as a kid. You can hear my dad laughing and telling the neighbor he loosened a bunch of bolts.

Another video after the jump, but it cuts out right before the crash.

Continue Reading " Video Of The B-2 Bomber Crash Released "

Jun 6 2008 Classic Game Scenes Rendered In LEGO

Here are a bunch of classic video game scenes rendered in LEGO. As you can see, that's Duck Hunt there, and there's some Mortal Kombat, Contra, Castlevania, and Excitebike after the jump. I must say, they're all very well done and beautiful to look at. Not as beautiful as a naked chick mind you, but what is? Exactly, nothing. Even a naked chick with a penis isn't that bad if you squint your eyes and shake your head a bit.

Hit the jump for the rest of the eye candy and a link to Flickr with a few more.

Continue Reading " Classic Game Scenes Rendered In LEGO "

Jun 6 2008 Reading Material: RSS Toilet Paper Printer

I'm not sure if this is even real or not, but I sure hope it is because I'm getting pretty damn tired of the reading material options in the office bathroom (a couple Highlights and an empty cereal box). The RSStroom Reader allegedly prints out your favorite RSS feeds on toilet paper so you can catch up on Geekologie without bringing your laptop to the can (which, don't get me wrong, is perfectly acceptable as well). Now that's just freaking brilliant. Plus, it comes with biometric user identification (presumably assblast-based) so I don't have to sift through all The Superficial Writer's Tigerbeat and BOP feeds. Haha, I know I promised I wouldn't tell, but I'm a liar, not a 12-year old girl!

RSStroom Reader shows where you think blogs belong [dvice]

Thanks to Marie, a hot French chick who promises to wipe exclusively with Geekologie

Jun 6 2008 Star Trek Rap Is Not Suitable For Work, Home

First, there were the Star Wars raps, and now, Star Trek. This is song called The U.S.S. Enterprise (is getting *insert slang term for a woman's nether-region here* tonight) by some group called Those Aren't Muskets. It's very NSFW because it's all about doing it and they say a bunch of dirty words. I didn't like it at first, but it got okay towards the end. Don't get me wrong -- I still got fired for watching it, but at least now I've got catchy lyrics about the captian's "log" stuck in my head.

Youtube (all the lyrics and a link to a downloadable mp3 here as well)

Thanks Shawn, I'll never view Star Trek: The Next Generation the same again

Jun 6 2008 Sobrietol Reduces Level Of Blood Alcohol, Fun

Sobrietol is some mystery formula of cancer-causing agents that reduces your blood alcohol content after a heavy night of drinking. And let me tell you -- as someone who thought yesterday was Friday and went out and got shit-hammered -- I lost my shoes.

Have you ever had one too many drinks at a party, wine-tasting, or night out with the girls? Unfortunately, for all too many of us, we know what that means for the next morning -- we wake up a little lethargic. Maybe a tummy that's queasy, maybe a throbbing head, maybe a dude you thought was a chick in bed next to you.

Sobrietol® was found to decrease the level of blood alcohol by 56% in independent tests as measured by Oregon State Troopers. The next day will be like you didn't drink at all!

First of all, there's no such thing as "one too many drinks", there are only too few. And secondly, a box of 8 packets costs $40 -- that's like 8 good liquor drinks! And trust me, nothing cures a hangover like drinking the next morning. So thanks but no thanks Sobrietol, the only product I need to help remove alcohol is free -- my penis.

Check out the link to the website right under these words to hear an auto-playing sales pitch for the product that's filled with lies.

Sobrietol Website

Thanks Allyson, lets down like twenty packets each and then go out drinking. Everyone will think we're superheros.

Jun 6 2008 Online Service Sends Emails To Nonbelieving Friends/Family Left Behind After The "Rapture"

Youvebeenleftbehind.com is an online service that will send emails (assuming computers still work) to as many as 62 nonbelieving friends/family after you, the good Christian, have been conveniently relocated to heaven during the "Rapture".

We have set up a system to send documents by email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 Christian team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

Interesting. The service costs $40 a year and I just signed up. Of course, I'm only sending a single email:

Future Me,

Surprise, surprise -- you didn't make the cut. Now you're f***ed.

Website Lets You Send A Post-Rapture Email To Friends 'Left Behind' [wired]

Thanks to Sam for reminding me there are more apocalypses to worry about than just robot/zombie ones

Jun 5 2008 Self-Stirring Coffee Mug For The Fingerless

Are you a lazy bastard or a shop teacher that's had ten accidents? If so, this self stirring mug may be for you. The mugs are made by Gevalia, a company best known for convincing me to sign up for their coffee of the month club through the use of a well placed late-night infomercial featuring a sexy saleswoman with a sultry voice. Anyway, the $19 mug features a special base that runs on two AAA batteries and promises "to gently stir your beverage at the push of a button". Now call me crazy, but what kind of gentle stir creates a freaking whirlpool in your beverage? That picture looks like a blender set on the highest setting. You'd have hot beverage in your lap quicker than you could say "I'm suing you McDonalds because I'm a stupid asshole and the coffee you served me was hot." Still, I'm buying one. Mostly because, unlike that pussy James Bond, I like my martinis stirred -- and served in 12-ounce mugs. Suck it Bond, you couldn't even spy on your own girlfriend in the shower.

Stir Mug Does All Of The Work For You [ohgizmo]

Jun 5 2008 Boeing Tested New 25 kW Laser While I Hid Under My Bed And Waited To Blow Up

Boeing recently tested their new 25 kilowatt solid-state laser, which is a step in the direction of a future 100 kW (keep in mind the Death Star was only packing something like 80 kW*) ray that will blow up the whole world and possibly Mars and Venus (which, honestly, is a shitty planet that we're better off without).

The thin-disk laser is an initiative to demonstrate that solid-state laser technologies are now ready to move out of the laboratory and into full development as weapon systems. Solid-state lasers are powered by electricity, making them highly mobile and supportable on the battlefield.

A high-power solid-state laser will damage, disable or destroy targets at the speed of light, with little to no collateral damage, supporting missions on the battlefield and in urban operations.

Okay, I have no idea what that means because I'm not a scientist (I'm just a guy who looks sexy as hell in a white lab coat), but I think what they're saying is you shouldn't stare directly at it.

*I made that up so don't email me complaining about how the Death Star's superlaser was like 50,000 billion kW

Boeing Successfully Fires 25 kW Solid-State Lasers, Laser Weapons One Step Closer to Being a Reality [gizmodo]

Jun 5 2008 Guy Mods Roomba Into Pacmba -- A Ghost Chasing, Dot Eating, Pac-Man Vacuum!!

Using 448 LEDs and a controller unit, this guy modded his Roomba into Pacmba, the Pac-Man Vacuum. It's fairly awesome, but nowhere near as awesome as the Donkba, my Donkey Kong Roomba. Say, who ate the last of my bananas? F***ing Donkba! I swear I'm gonna kick -- whoa now, put the barrel down.

roomba pac-man [hackaday]

Thanks Shawn, Andy, and BK, now you think one of you could come over and get this bastard off me?

Jun 5 2008 More Custom Footwear For You To Love/Hate

Well folks, it's been awhile since I've showered or posted any custom shoes, so I guess now is as good a time as any to release the hounds with another set of custom footwear. The Optimus Prime ones there are admittedly awesome as hell and I'd totally give my left nut (well, only nut) to have them. Unfortunately they're selling for about $600 and the doctor just called and told me my ball, at auction, would only fetch around $16-$18. Hit the jump for a ton more (GTA, Pac-Man, Care Bears, Batman, Simpsons, Marvel Comics, Mario, another Transformers) that all go for around $160. I'm not sure how they made the Optimus pair, but everything on the next page was made by someone sewing patches of printed fabric into the shoe's recesses. If you're interested I included links to the customizer's eBay store and online store. If you're not interested you can do what I do and just walk on the skulls of your fallen enemies. Skull-shoes baby, I'm bringin' em back!

Continue Reading " More Custom Footwear For You To Love/Hate "

Jun 5 2008 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome

As a man who frequently blogs and eats his lunch on the john, I know all about the benefits of canning your food (!). And now there's a restaurant in Taiwan that is cashing in on what I've known for years -- eating on the throne is the shit (!).

Patrons sit on toilets for seats and eat food off covered sinks and bathtubs. The food is served in a mini-toilet bowls and patrons drink out of mini travel potties. To finish the atmosphere, toilet paper is provided in the place of napkins.

"It's really unusual, so special that it doesn't gross me out," said Betty Tsai, 16, a Taipei high school sophomore trying Modern Toilet for the first time on a friend's recommendation.

But for a few customers, the toilet humor is too much. "My son thought it was disgusting and didn't know if he could finish his food," said Taipei mother Lin Li-ju.

Wow, Lin Li-ju, it sounds like your son has a problem. Namely that he was born with a vagina and doesn't know how to appreciate the finer things in life. Seriously, if I had one of those oldschool TV-dinner stands I don't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. So yeah, I once saw a little kid at Home Depot urinate in one of the unplumbed toilets they had on display. I wonder if they have similar problems here. Well, my legs are going numb, time to get up.

Several more pictures and a video news report about the place, after the jump.

Continue Reading " 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome "

Jun 5 2008 OLD!: Crow And Tom Servo Debate PCs Vs. Macs On Mystery Science Theatre 3,000

This is a 17-year old clip from Mystery Science Theater 3,000 in which Crow and Tom Servo debate PCs vs. Macs (similar to those new commercials). Seems like not much has changed since '91. I believe they said it best when they sang:

Gamera is really neat,
Gamera is filled with meat,
We've been eating Gameraaaaa!
Shells, teeth, eyes, flames, claws, breath, scales, fun!

High fives to everyone who has seen that Gamera vs. Guiron episode. Low fives and a free screening this weekend for those of you who haven't. Come over around six and we'll get good and drunk and then project it onto a bedsheet in the backyard. You know, drive-in style. But with no actual driving-in -- the Superficial Writer has parked enough cars in the pool already.

MST3K debates Macs versus PCs [boingboinggadgets]

Thanks Nuke -- and no, you can't come over if you're just gonna blow shit up. Okay, fine.

Jun 5 2008 Magnetic Accelerator Kit Fires Ball Bearings

The $30 Magnetic Accelerator from Thinkgeek uses black magic to launch ball bearings at your roommate when he refuses to fetch you a beer from the fridge even though he's closer. The kit can be assembled in just a few minutes and requires no glue (so there's little chance of bonding your hand to your genitals again). "Set the metal ball at the end of the track and watch as the energy transfers and multiplies down the track of magnets and metal balls until finally the last ball zooms off." Whee, what fun -- I love zooming balls, provided they're not my roomate's buzzing in for a teabag because I passed out on the couch. Seriously, you had your fun, now take the pictures off Facebook.

Hit the jump for a short video of the weapon in action.

teabagging the roomie!
In this photo: The Geekologie Writer (photos), my balls (photos)
Added May 29, 2008

Continue Reading " Magnetic Accelerator Kit Fires Ball Bearings "

Jun 5 2008 Interactive Pong Table Reminds Me Of Air Hockey Minus The Air, Puck, And Paddles

This interactive Pong Table was constructed by German designer Moritz Waldemeyer for MOMA's recent Design and the Elastic Mind exhibit. The table uses 2,400 LEDs, two track pads, and the souls of old Atari execs to immerse players in an updated, and much more interactive Pong experience. Still reminds me of air hockey though. And speaking of which, I lost a tournament at the bar last weekend and had to eat the puck. It wasn't super, but it was better than the urinal cake.

Pong Updated for the 21st Century [thebbps]

Thanks to Tom for guiding us geeks to the greatness. But seriously, the pink ones are alright if you're starving, but steer clear of the blue ones, they're straight ass.

Jun 4 2008 UPDATE: This Is What Happens...

When you send an anonymous email to The Superficial Writer with a subject line promising nude photos of Hayden Panettiere when it's actually packed with snapshots of your nuts.

UPDATE: Another video of the second half of the action from a worker's cellphone camera added after the jump (thanks Sunyeti and Rachel).

Continue Reading " UPDATE: This Is What Happens... "

Jun 4 2008 Handwrench Is A Real Hand Wrench, But Not A Real Hand, Or A Real Practical Wrench

This is the Handwrench by designer Paul Julius Martus. It's a hand wrench, with a little hand on the end. BWAHAH HA HA HA! Some people, so clever. I'm pretty sure it's just an art piece though, seeing how your little fingers would probably break off if you were trying to bust a real serious nut loose. Still, Paul gets clever points for being clever with the little hand. But I get 2x clever points for that bust a nut thing I said.

Handwrench [notcot]

Thanks Shawn, you wanna come over and help me build a deck?

Jun 4 2008 Wake Up Equipment: DANGERBOMB CLOCK Goes Boom -- Boom, All Up In Your Room!

The $22 DANGERBOMB CLOCK looks like a bomb and shouldn't be taken on flights. It's the next generation in wake up equipment that requires you to do something besides slap a button to actually turn the damn thing off. How does it work? Per the translated Amazon Japan page:

Product specifications:

Do not happen in the explosion and quickly ugh? KACHI KACHI KACHI... wake-up time bomb-type device! Danger Bomb Clock!! Danger Bomb Clock!!

DOKI DOKI DOKI... "What a piece of wire to stop the explosion I can...?!" In film and television, to stop the time bomb which one should staple a line scene. Such a scene reminiscent of a time bomb alarm clock, and a parody of fun.

Set in a predetermined number of hours to the sound of heavy explosions. In other words, turn off the alarm switch in the explosion, three of the wiring was imitated one of a number. Three, how to stop it is through daily random set. This will also no longer be late? Daily life for the thrill and excitement...!

Basically the alarm goes off and one of the colored lights blinks indicating which wire you have to separate to turn it off. If you choose the wrong one it makes loud explosion noises and scares the shit out of your cats. Simple as that. Now I'm not totally sure what happens if you just disconnect all the wires the night before, but if I had to guess I'd say I'm f***in' MacGyver!

And he's the bottom.

Translated Amazon Product Page

Thanks to Redd, who actually taught MacGyver everything he knows.

Jun 4 2008 LEGO Johnny Five Is(n't) Alive

This is a LEGO Johnny Five. As you may recall, he's the robot from such films as Short Circuit and Short Circuit 2. Brothers Brick user rack911 made him, and I've got to admit he's looking pretty damn good. Small, but good. Especially the eyes. They remind me of an ex-girlfriend's. Blue and piercing. That chick could burn a damn hole through your skull if she stared long enough. Although truthfully, she was a lot less like an actual girlfriend and a lot more like the Chirsty Brinkley poster I hung above my bed in college. Ahh, she and I shared many romantic evenings in that dormroom after my roommate was safely asleep. And sometimes when he wasn't. HAHA, I caught you watching that one time, Ben!

A couple more pictures and a link to the full gallery after the jump.

Continue Reading " LEGO Johnny Five Is(n't) Alive "

Jun 4 2008 UPDATE: Freaking Brilliant: A Subway Pole Dancer

In public transportation news, police in Bucharest, Romania are looking for some chick that performs pole dances on the city's subway between stations and then uses AN EMPTY KFC BUCKET to ask for donations. That's actually her in the picture (that looks like it was taken with a pinhole-cameraphone through a paper bag).

Passengers described the dancer, photographed by a passenger's mobile phone, as a "well-dressed, attractive, student-like young woman".

Her modus operandi is to play Tom Jones's You Can Leave Your Hat On on a portable CD player while taking off her clothes and dancing around a pole.

One passenger, George Stancu, who witnessed the act, said: "I can't say I didn't like the show but I found it unusual. There are lots of kids who travel by underground and I just don't think it's proper."

A police spokesman said the woman faced charges and a fine for indecent exposure and public begging if she is caught in the act.

Indecent exposure? That's probably the only decent exposure those people have seen in years. I can't believe this. I mean, charges and a fine? A key to the city, sure, maybe even a national holiday named after her -- but a fine?

UPDATE: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!! NSFW VIDEO OF A PERFORMANCE ADDED AFTER THE JUMP! WOOHOO, BARE BOOBS! (thanks io)

Uncensored picture (which looks like a shapely pixelated woman in bra and underwear) and NSFW video after the jump.

Continue Reading " UPDATE: Freaking Brilliant: A Subway Pole Dancer "

Jun 4 2008 Thanks NASA!: Visible Magnetic Fields

NASA, who should be focusing their efforts on a way to blast me out of the solar system, is instead making movies with visible magnetic fields. Not sure how this is gonna help me bed an alien chick, but whatever, it's freaking awesome so I'll let it slide.

Scientists from NASA's Space Sciences Laboratory have made (magnetic fields) visible as "animated photographs," using sound-controlled CGI and 3D compositing. It makes the fields, as explained by the scientists, dance in an absolutely gorgeous movie called Magnetic Movie.

Be sure to check out a ton more pictures and the movie after the jump, it's some serious eye candy. Now NASA needs to get to work on making a pair of glasses that can do this in real time. Then we could all, you know, get high and make Magneto put on a light show.

Hit the jump for a ton more awesomeness. Oh, and even though it sounds like it, the woman in the video does not say "hairy balls" at 0:45, she says hairball. This is science people, get your heads out of the gutter.

Continue Reading " Thanks NASA!: Visible Magnetic Fields "

Jun 4 2008 Microwave PC Failed To Heat My Kid Cuisine

What's cooler than a beaver casemod? Well, not this microwave casemod, but it's pretty damn close. Check out the desktop background -- it looks like they're cooking microwavable lasagna! LOL! ROTFL! Listen, I promise to kidney punch myself as hard as I can for typing that. *UMPH* Oh man that was a good one, I'm gonna need to change boxers.

Microwave PC won't heat your leftovers [dvice]

Thanks Shawn, now lets start a fire and grill some shit

Jun 4 2008 Shoes For The Gaming Hooker With No Purse

In case you couldn't tell or are having your mommy read this aloud while you eat a bowl of breakfast cereal, these are some prostitutey shoes with embedded Gameboys. I assume they're either 1. for gaming hookers that don't carry purses, or 2. for those who service johns that think their penises are just nonfunctional joysticks and only frequent prossies to cry about how hard their favorite Zelda games are. *sniffle* Your money's on the Wii, now make like the Water Palace in Ocarina of Time and get lost.

Several more styles after the jump, in case you're in the market.

Continue Reading " Shoes For The Gaming Hooker With No Purse "

Jun 3 2008 All For The Love Of The Game: Inside The Basement Lair Of One Of The World's Most Hardcore (And Likely Neglected) Gamers

And I thought the shed I grew up in had poor living conditions. This just goes to show that you should never take anything for granted. This poor bastard is clearly locked in a basement, lives entirely on canned Coke and pot pies, pees in empty one-gallon water jugs, shits in an oversized litter box, thinks he looked handsome in his senior yearbook photo, has parents that steal power (along with gas, water, and whatever the hell else is coming in that wall) from the neighbors, only has a Gamecube, performs emergency medical procedures on himself with nothing but a pair of needle-nose pliers, sleeps with no covers on a towel bed, and really thinks rape sux. Holy shit.

Hardcore Gamer Defined? [albotas]

Jun 3 2008 Terminator: Salvation' Ending Revealed to be Stupid

Want to know the probable ending to Terminator: Salvation long before its release? Want to be horribly disappointed in something beyond your control? Then look under the cut!

Continue Reading "'Terminator: Salvation' Ending Revealed to be Stupid"

Jun 3 2008 Great, They Learned How To Do It: Robot Sex

Paul Granjon is the sadistic bastard responsible for teaching these robots how to procreate. They were programmed with five modes and act differently in each. The different modes follow:

Normal: the robots roam around and run into walls
Sing: the robots continue to putt around and run into walls, but beep occasionally
In Heat: the robots try to find each other so they can do it, once located, they go for it
Sleep: after mating, the male looks for a dark place to nap while the female chases him and attempts to cuddle
Battery Alert: worn out by the female's constant nagging, the male beeps loudly before it dies

There you have it, hit the jump to watch the video, but skip to about 1:30 to start watching the different modes, and to 2:30 to actually see them do it. Just a warning: it's every bit as disturbing as you think it'll be. And not because it's two robots having sex, but because Mr. Granjon is so into two robots having sex.

Hit it for the YCPWAW (you can probably watch at work) video.

Continue Reading " Great, They Learned How To Do It: Robot Sex "

Jun 3 2008 How To: Keep That Ass Cool And Swamp-Free

Use this thing, the Suzukaze Air-Conditioned Seat Cushion. It keeps your rear cool, funk free, and is allegedly eco-friendly.

Using the sweat generated by your bum and a tiny bit of energy, this cushion has an internal fan that blows over 170 liters of air per minute to keep your nether-region cool. It is light weight, portable, and so efficient that even if used as much as 8 hours a day, you'd still only spend pennies per month on electricity.

Whatever happened to prevention being the best medicine? If this thing needs sweat to operate, then it only works after I've already got a problem. A huge problem. Mainly that my ass is a La Brea Tar Pit and no amount of fanning is gonna save the dinosaurs.

Keep Your Bum And The Earth Cool [ecogeek]

Thanks to Shawn, who probably sent this after he saw the stain I left in his car

Jun 3 2008 Eco-Friendly Car May Score You Chicks

Listen up guys: it turns out driving an eco-friendly car may increase your chances of getting to touch a woman.

According to a study conducted by GM as part of this year's Challenge X competition:

* Nearly 9 in 10 women (88 percent) say they'd rather chat up someone who owns the latest fuel-efficient car versus the latest sports car.

* Eighty percent of American car buyers would find someone with the latest fuel-efficient car more interesting to talk to at a party than someone with the latest sports car.

* More than 4 out of 10 (45 percent) 18- to 43-year-olds say it's a fashion faux pas nowadays to have a car that's not green or environmentally friendly.

As a public service for those of you that aren't having any luck in the woman department, I've added a few other chick-attractors to the list.

* Tons of money.

* A good sense of humor.

* Listening to them talk about stuff you don't care about instead of tuning them out and playing video games.

* Not living at home with your parents.

* A 10-inch penis.

* Puppies.

* Shoe sales.

* A 12-inch penis.

EcoGeeks get all the girls [yahoogreen]

Thanks Abe, wanna go cruising for chicks in my neighbor's Prius?

Jun 3 2008 Crazy Computer Desk Looks Like A Drum Set

We've already seen all sorts of ridiculous computer desks here at Geekologie, and here comes another -- the V1 (V for Vision, not Vagina). It looks like the bastard child of a three-way between a car seat, computer desk, and drum set.

The V1 computer desk is dynamically designed to be the best computer desk system on Earth. Comfort, quality, and customer satisfaction are our primary goals here. Three years of planning and development has brought the V1 computer gaming desk to this certain point. It can now be yours.

They start at $1,700 (sans monitor and speakers) but can be customized with different options all the way up to like a billion dollars. Maybe it's for you, but it's not for me. That thing would take up the whole damn room. Although now that I think about it, diamond-treaded foot rests could come in handy during a particularly volatile porn session.

Hit the jump for a few different setups and a link to the website.

Continue Reading " Crazy Computer Desk Looks Like A Drum Set "

Jun 3 2008 Master Chief Made Entirely Out Of Balloons

If there is one thing I hate at a birthday party it's a creepy-ass clown. A close second are magicians. But after magicians come balloon animal makers. And not just because the one I hired for my college graduation party got drunk and swung his little balloon covered unit around like a helicopter in front of my entire family, but that's part of it. Well the guy shown here, known to sobbing children in the Provo, Utah area as Balloon Guy, makes some pretty serious balloon sculptures. Seen in the photo is Master Chief, but hit the jump for a Star Wars AT-AT, Mario, a Ninja Turtle, and what may or may not be Optimus Prime. Balloon Guy says he'll make anything "as long as it's family friendly." BOOOO! You're telling me you're gonna show up dressed like that and not make balloon privates? Secretary, cancel Balloon Guy for the company picnic, we'll have to go with our backup: pony rides and a stripper.

Hit the jump for all the highly questionable other.

Continue Reading " Master Chief Made Entirely Out Of Balloons "

Jun 3 2008 Cheating: Jesus As An Invisible Teammate

These are Jesus Inspirational Sports Statues for kids. They cost $25 apiece and I just ordered the whole set.

Handpainted resin statues on a solid wood base are the perfect gift for every young Catholic athlete. These statues portray Jesus actively participating with boys and girls in a variety of sports. A wonderful way to reinforce Jesus "as friend" in everyday activities. Sizes vary from 4 3/4 to 6 1/2 inches.

Many customers have requested these Jesus Sport Statues depicting children other than Caucasian and playing other sports; we have expressed these requests to manufacturers and importers. When and if other statues are available, we'll carry them.

Hrrm...interesting. Well I know exactly what you're thinking, and you're right, they forgot to make a "Jesus and little boy playing Halo online" model. Hopefully that's one they're working on. Now you know how much I hate to get all religious, so I'll just say this -- Jesus was on my swim team in grade school and I think he may have cheated. For one, all he ever did was run on water -- which is not technically swimming. And secondly, it was the 10-12 age bracket and he was like 30 and had a beard.

A couple more statues and a link to the buy page after the jump.

Continue Reading " Cheating: Jesus As An Invisible Teammate "

Jun 3 2008 Once You Pop, You'll Wish You Hadn't: Iconic Pringles Can Designer Buried In Pringles Can

Fredric J. Baur was responsible for designing the Pringles potato crisp packaging system commonly referred to by non-jargonists as the Pringles can. But alas, Baur's expiration date passed in May and he requested his family bury a portion of his ashes in one of the cans he was so proud of. He was 89. Still no word if he specifically asked for a Sour Cream & Onion can, but I think we can all agree that's the best flavor.

R.I.P. Fredric Baur, I hope you're riding that great hyperbolic paraboloid saddle shaped chip in the sky

Pringles Can Inventor Buried In Pringles Can [huffingtonpost]

Thanks Justin, let's pop and not stop in Fredric's honor

Jun 2 2008 Emoticons For Driving Are A Horrible Idea

Drivemocions are animated LED emoticons for your car. You just stick the suction cup to your back window, and presto -- you become a dangerous hazard and reason enough for me to road rage on that ass like a tank. The faces are controlled via wireless controller, so you can pay even less attention to the road and more attention making sure you picked just the right emoticon to let others know you're a douchnozzle. They can be bought here for $50-$70, but I will go ballistic if anyone says they want one or thinks they're a good idea. Shit, phone.

That was the wife. Said she just bought the coolest car accessory ever. She wouldn't say what it was, but I have a bad feeling. So if you'll excuse me I need to plant a few landmines in the driveway.

UPDATE: Turns out she got one of those dancing hula girls for the dashboard! Unfortunately her grass skirt got charred a bit in the explosion.

Youtube

Thanks Shannon, you didn't send me that because you liked them, right?

Jun 2 2008 Man Nearly Arrested For Transformers Shirt

Brad Jayakody, 30 (that's him in the picture), was almost arrested for attempting to board a flight from London to Dusseldorf, Germany while wearing that Transformers t-shirt.

Mr Jayakody said the first guard started joking with him about the Transformers character depicted on his French Connection T-shirt. "Then he explains that since Megatron is holding a gun, I'm not allowed to fly,' he said. A spokesman for Heathrow operator BAA said: 'If a T-shirt had a rude word or a bomb on it, for example, a passenger may be asked to remove it.

'We are investigating what happened to see if it came under this category.

'If it's offensive, we don't want other passengers upset.'

Freaking wow. Now I hate flying as much as the next kid whose father pushed them off the roof with a bedsheet hang glider, but seriously, you know? Seriously. Wow. In all honesty though, companies shouldn't even be allowed to sell Transformer t-shirts. It's a freaking terrorist act and breeds robot sympathizers.

Man threatened with arrest at Heathrow for wearing Transformers T-shirt [dailymail]

Thanks to Neko, who finds robot sympathizers as despicable as I do

Jun 2 2008 Cassette Face Watch Is Alright, I Guess

The AOS Cassette Face Watch costs about $70 and looks like a cassette. It also tells time. No way. Yes way. No way! Yes way! But who needs to tell time anyways? Time is old fashioned and not the sun. I suggest we get rid of time altogether and any hot and spicy female readers send me provocative pictures. Because then, I'm a scientist, time won't be important. I said I'm a scientist yo. This is a real lab coat. Wait, where'd my lab coat go? Okay, well this is an authentic Big Johnson t-shirt. I actually have no idea about worm holes because the bourbon this morning made afternoon delights a no go and I think a rocketship just crash landed on my brain. So get those coming. Also, something about...oh yes, this watch is okay but you know what's better than a cassette watch? No, not a Walkman watch. Well, technologically, that is cooler but not what I was getting at. I was getting at...shit now you made me forget. OH YEAH -- a BOOMBOX watch. A watch that looks like an old school ghetto blaster. Cool huh? I know. You hear that, Tokyoflash? I want one for free when it's made or else the good doctor gets it, do you understandeth what I speak? I need to lie down. Oh my God this pillow is meowing!

Another picture after the jump in case you were dying to know what the watch looks like with a hand casually tucked into your black-jeans pocket.

Continue Reading " Cassette Face Watch Is Alright, I Guess "

Jun 2 2008 Geek Side Is The Best Side: Geek Gang Signs

Here are some geek gang signs that some nerds came up with when they were working on a secret handshake. As you can see, they're pretty questionable. But not nearly as questionable as the leftover red beans and rice I just had for lunch. Half the beans jumped out of the bowl and tried to stab me with my own fork while the rice just sat there and watched. Long story short: I had to go hungry, which sucks because all I had for breakfast were two hits of paper and four bonghits.

Geek Gang Signs [accordianguy]

Thanks Shawn, now lets come up with a super-sweet Geekologie handshake. Got any ideas?

Jun 2 2008 Omni Chair: Super Comfy, Super To Do It On

The Omni Chair is the lovechild of a pillow who was in love with a beanbag chair but whose families were quarreling (think Romeo and Juliet, but way comfier to sit on). Well one fateful night the pillow threw itself off the bed and snuck out to have relations with the beanbag chair in my parent's basement. Two months later *BLAM* the Omni chair.

This super-sized pillow by Sumo is the ultimate solution for all your relaxing needs. We've come up with 10 ways to use it, but some people say we lack imagination!

It's a crash mat, lounge chair, loveseat or floor pillow to name a few, but the possibilities really do go on.

Sumo Beanbags are made from space age rip-proof nylon and come filled with top quality Sumo Beads. Omni is 4.5' x 5.5' and it only weighs 18 lbs!

I seriously do own one of these and it's comfy as hell. Typically I hit it face first when I come home from the bars (upper left position in picture), but I also use it as a gaming chair when I'm sober* (upper right). The formable $129 (with free shipping) unit really is a Transformer of furniture. It's a chair, bed, recliner, and make-out station. You see that lower left position? Out of this world. My last few girlfriends have really loved that one, as it doesn't put any strain on their brittle bones and hip replacements when we're getting frisky. And before you ask, yes, I stole an AARP mailing list.

*BAC ≤ 0.16

Product Site

Jun 2 2008 I'm Still Hungry: World's Smallest Ramen Bowl

Scientists in Japan recently made the world's smallest ramen bowl, with a diameter of only 1/25,000 of an inch. Which, in scientific terminology, makes it invisible except to superheros that got shafted in the cool powers department (unless they can also see through walls, in which case boobs, sweet). The bowl was carved entirely out of nanotubes and was entered in a recent microphotography contest. Now as someone who just recently finished a project on nanotubes and nanotechnology, I know all about these things. Some interesting facts I uncovered during my research: They're made of carbon. They're mad small. Like super-duper small. They put my junk to shame. I hate nanotubes. Nanotubes are stupid.

Microscopic ramen bowl believed to be world's smallest [cnn]

Thanks to Hunter, who holds the competitive eating world record for nano-ramen: five quadtrillion megazillion boobillion bowls

Also thanks to Matt, who's been training hard and might take the title back this year

Jun 2 2008 GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers

Sometimes there's a candle that comes along and changes the way I look at wax-fueled flames forever. And this is one -- The Hotwicks Stripper Candle. The $9 candle smells like strippers.

It's a candle and an alibi all in one! You don't smell like a stripper, you just smell like a candle.

This is our favorite candle. After hundreds of hours of research and a lot of dollar bills we succeeded in capturing the legendary stripper scent. If you don't know what a stripper smells like just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand... then add some glitter. This is a perfect gift for your favorite bachelor, groomsmen, or retired stripper who misses her pole.

OMGWTFNOMORESLEEPINGINTHEDOGHOUSEFORTHEGEEKOLOGIEWRITER! Wow, I really need to shake the hands of the humanitarians that spent those countless hours researching this breakthrough in scent technology. Good people. Now when I come home and the wife accuses me of stripclubbing, I'll insist it's just the candle. But if she asks why I have a pastie stuck to my forehead I'll have to run and hide in the bathroom.

Another picture of the candle after the jump.

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Jun 2 2008 Giant Keyboard Is Missing Vital Keys

From the "Just Because You Can Probably Means You Shouldn't" Department comes this massive keyboard. It's just short of ten million feet long and doesn't have a QWERTY layout. Nope, the letters are in alphabetical order, and there aren't any keys besides the letters. So yeah, no ENTER, space, or anything else. It's still awesome though. Couple this sucker with a couch-sized mouse and you could win awards in practicality.

A couple more build pics after the jump.

Continue Reading " Giant Keyboard Is Missing Vital Keys "