Mar 31 2008 Eye Candy: Video Games In The Real World

Some guy named Mike (aka Pixel Fantasy on Flickr) took some random pictures off the web and inserted video game sprites in them to ramp up the cool factor. As you can see that's some Pitfall action there in that picture. Make sure to hit the jump for a ton more, including Zelda, Donkey Kong, Mario Kart and *gasp* Blaster Master! Now I know this is the opposite of the pictures, but how cool would it be if you could actually enter your favorite video game and interact with the characters and surroundings as yourself? Shit I'm high. Gosh I really wish that was possible. That would be the freaking awesomest thing EVER! I'd totally enter Zelda. *snickers*

Hit the jump for a ton more.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Video Games In The Real World "

Mar 31 2008 Treepees: Ground-Dwelling Tents Are Lame

Treepees are tents that hang from trees. They kind of remind me of the dangling blue-balls of survival we saw awhile ago. They come in green, brown, or pink and cost $600. You just hang it from a sturdy branch, stake the four corners (if you want), and you're good to go. I want one, because I hate the ground. It's just so...beneath me. All the time. I don't even like touching it. So the treepee is right up my alley. Besides, I've always wanted to know what it's like to be a bear's punching bag. Bring it you sissy-ass grizzly, you hit like a cub!

One more picture of a pink one after the jump.

Continue Reading " Treepees: Ground-Dwelling Tents Are Lame "

Mar 31 2008 Legit: Tron Lightcycle Scene In Cardboard

Remember Tron, the awesome as hell movie from the 80's where Flynn get digitized and has to fight in a computer system? Speaking of which, does anybody know where I can get my hands on one of those sweet glowing frisbee things? Anyway, long story short -- Tron is awesome, I would totally rule at that jai alai game they play to the death, they're going to make a sequel, and thinking about it gives me a pantstick. This is a video of the lightcycle seen from the original done in cardboard. It was well made. Not unlike the blanket fort I constructed this morning. My roommates don't call me Frank Lloyd Geekologie for nothing you know. Nope, I had to brandish a firearm and make them swear they would.

Cardboard Tron [notcot]

Mar 31 2008 Lifesize And Realistic R2-D2 And C-3PO

Massive Star Wars fan? More money than you know what to do with? If so get yourself these lifesized R2-D2 and C-3PO collectibles.

Sideshow Collectibles' C-3PO and R2-D2 are the most authentic life-size reproductions ever available to private collectors. Available now for pre-order, these highly-anticipated collectibles will begin shipping in 3rd Quarter 2008. Crafted of fiberglass and various quality materials, these sought-after droids are sure to be the centerpieces of any Star Wars collection, perfect for your home, office, or theater room.

Each will have some light-up and sound effect features, along with a complementary magnetic restraining bolt in case you want to treat the mother like a slave. R2-D2 will set you back $5,450 and C3-PO a staggering $5,950 with pre-order deposits of $950 required. Wow, that's a lot of space-dollars. Now I'm not saying you save your money and pass on these, but you should. At least on C-3. He was such a whiny little asscap in all the movies. I <3 U R2.

Sideshow Collectibles R2-D2 and C-3PO
via
Sideshow Collectibles Life-Size R2-D2 & C-3PO [ohgizmo]

Mar 31 2008 Seoul Commune 2026 Looks, Uh, Interesting

Since I know so many of you out there love conceptually crazy buildings, here comes another -- Seoul Commune 2026. Not exactly the design I would have gone for, but what do I know? I've only won the damn commune design competition eight years running. Anyway, Green Towers is to be built in Seoul, South Korea and cover approximately 400,000 square meters. Each of the 15 towers will range in size from 16 to 53 stories, and all will look ridiculous. What exactly was the inspiration for these things? Coral? Mushrooms? Misshapen dongs?

The towers' functions are separated into public, private, and commercial, offering purely-private rooms called "cells", communal spaces for public activity and welfare/medical facilities. The base of the 15 towers, where the park merges with the towers, creates the widest spaces of the site. Above, the first floor is 75 meters wide and extends up to the height of the first five stories. The ground floor space is reserved for pedestrians. Three walkways converge there and circulate around each tower's elevator core.

Screw it, I'd live in one.

Several more pictures of the ridiculousness after the jump.

Continue Reading " Seoul Commune 2026 Looks, Uh, Interesting "

Mar 31 2008 Mixed Feelings: Monkey Riding Motorcycle

This is a video of a monkey riding a motorcycle. I have mixed feelings about it. While a monkey zooming around on a little motorcycle is admittedly pretty neat, I can't help but feel sorry for the little guy. I mean he's doing it right in the damn traffic. That's dangerous, and no way to treat an animal. It's different when you get your little brother to perform dangerous stunts for your amusement, but monkeys? They have feelings.

UPDATE: Turns out that wanker on the curb is pulling him around with a leash. Anybody know where that guy lives? I've got my steel-toed boots laced up and they're itching for some nuts.

Youtube

Thanks to Tom, who can ride a motorcycle with his eyes closed, backwards, with no hands, all the while making out with a chick clad in leather, for the tip

Mar 31 2008 Underwater Habitat For Sale On eBay

After the homemade island debacle of a couple of weeks ago, I was reluctant to post this underwater habitat. But I'm doing it anyways in hopes of normalizing the situation and moving on with my life. For sale on eBay is a 300 square foot underwater habitat that is going to attempt a World Record in June for longest uninterrupted stay beneath water.

The record attempt will be used as a publicity event to highlight the habitat and the future company which will build these Worldwide. The successful bidder will have the option of becoming a partner in the future company. (25%) It will be there for a period of 3 months and then raised again. The living space is that of a Large RV (300sq ft) and it has full access to the internet and cable TV. The Habitat Waterford is connected by umbilical cord to the surface with power, fresh air and telecommunication being piped underwater. With no use of petrochemicals.

The bidding starts at $50,000 with a Buy-It-Now of $80,000. The record breaking will be attempted off the coast of Miami, but if you don't live there they say they can build these things anywhere. Real? Fake? Old? Old and real fake? You be the judge. But not the bailiff, I get the gun and to do the oath thing with the Bible.

UPDATE: Looked at the myspace page for the guy behind this. Questionable (but not as bad as Jack). Posted after the click. WARNING: His sultry stare can and will make you cry like a baby.

Several more schematics and info about the thing after the jump.

Continue Reading " Underwater Habitat For Sale On eBay "

Mar 31 2008 Bronze Boba Fett PEZ Dispenser Looks Niiice

Scott, a man who loves both fruit flavored sugar cubes and Star Wars, cast a Boba Fett PEZ dispenser in bronze.

I made this using the lost wax casting process with an organic burnout. The material is silicon bronze. The original sleeve for the Pez broke, so I cannibalize dparts from another dispenser: Simba from the Lion King. The hole in the body resulted from an incomplete casting of the thin part; probably could have had better sprue placement. I like the results, though. The replacement sleeve was modified for the "battle scar" effect, revealing the Pez. Finishing was minimal, with a pretty standard bronze patina.

Great job, Scott. And you were right about the battle scar, that turned out pretty awesome. Now you'll always know when you're running low on on your sugar fix. Speaking of fixes *shoots 50cc's of granulated sugar into arm* Ahhhh, that's the stuff. Wait, something's not right. *reads box* Iodized salt! Not again.

Several more pictures of Boba PEZ after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bronze Boba Fett PEZ Dispenser Looks Niiice "

Mar 28 2008 NASA Testing Lunar Chariot Vehicle For Moon, I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead On It

This is NASA's Lunar Chariot, a six wheeled, all-wheel-drive, all-wheel-steering vehicle for the moon mission scheduled in 2020. It will be used to bulldoze roads, dig trenches, and drill for minerals on the moon thanks to its numerous attachments. Now I find this fascinating and all, and you know I love outerspace as much as the next boy-astronaut, but I still have one problem -- it's fugly as hell. It looks like a mechanical crab with wheels.

Aliens exist. And since the moon is a logical place for visiting aliens to stop for a cold drink, snacks, and to use the pisser before hitting earth, we should make the best impression possible. Now what if they come and see this goofy bastard lumbering around? They're going to laugh at us. Get with it NASA! I'll be damned if I miss my opportunity to score sweet alien poon because you were too cheap to make a cooler looking moon vehicle.

Video of the testing after the jump.

Continue Reading " NASA Testing Lunar Chariot Vehicle For Moon, I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead On It "

Mar 28 2008 For The Ladies: Golden Girl 24 Karat Facials

Are you an independently wealthy woman? A gold(!) digger? Do you like blowing wads of cash? If so you may want to consider this 24 karat luxury facial treatment. For about $360 you can get an 80-minute gold leafing of your face.

Ron Razeggi, U.S. chief operating officer of the manufacturer, UMO, said: "The skin tries to reject the gold because it's a foreign object. In order to do that, it builds new cells.

"Right now, the body produces new cells every 28 days. But this accelerates the cell-building and, as a result, it firms and tightens the skin."

Well there you have it ladies, straight from the jackass's mouth. In all honesty though, if you're a woman and reading this website I'm confident you're already beautiful inside and out (not to mention intelligent and complete with a great sense of humor) and don't need this crap. Besides, you don't even get to keep the gold after the treatment.

Spa strikes gold with the anti-aging 24-karat facial [dailymail]

Thanks to Silas, who is practically made of precious metals, for the tip

Mar 28 2008 Aquarium Bathtub Is Sweet, Too Expensive

The Moody Acquario is a $14,500 bathtub that has an aquarium on the side. It looks like the tank and tub are separated by a little space, which is smart because I was wondering how the fish would be able to withstand the heat transfer from my boiling baths. I love aquariums so I'm all about it. Minus, of course, the $14,500 price tag. I'm pretty confident you could build yourself one of these though without too much trouble. Or you can do what any normal damn person would, and bathe in your damn fishtank. But be warned: Don't just go throwing yourself in there lest you find a ceramic pirate ship up your ass.

Moody Acquario: Bathing With The Fishes [gizmodo]

Mar 28 2008 Cigarette Pack Cell Phone Is Sneaky, Smokey

This is a cell phone disguised as a pack of Marlboro cigarettes that'll set you back about $175 in China. It rocks dualband GSM, a microSD card slot, and can play MP3's.

From the front, it looks like a real pack of Marlboros. You can even put real cigarettes in it. But secretly, it's a cell phone. The best part is the side-mounted camera feature - people might be looking for you to take cell phone pictures, but they'll never suspect your cigs! This phone is available in Taipei's ShiLin night market, next to the toilet-themed restaurant.

Ah yes, the infamous toilet-themed restaurant. A regular mecca for novelty cell phone lovers. Seriously though, great Poopoo Platter.

Chinese Cigarette Phone Looks Like a Pack of Marlboros [boingboing]

Mar 28 2008 Watch Bears Sad Reminder, I Am Depressed

My life is filled with enough depressing thoughts as it is, so I don't have much interest in being reminded of my mortality whenver I want to know what time it is. But for you sickos out there that like thinking about your own death, maybe The Accurate Watch is for you. It costs $145 and features an hour and minute hand that, together, read "remember you will die". Wow, like my wife's handgun isn't reminder enough.

The Accurate Watch Reminds You Of Unavoidable Death [ohgizmo]

Mar 28 2008 International Dance Party Box Has Radar, Rewards Your Dancing With Lights, Smoke

International Dance Party is a dance party in a box.

The machine comes as a large, non-suspicious looking flightcase. Internally, it is equipped with cutting edge radar sensing technology, an ear blasting state of the art 600W sound system, tons of psychedelic light and laser effects, and even a professional grade fog machine.

Through its dance activity radar, the International Dance Party detects and evaluates motion input from surrounding people in realtime. Several sophisticated transforming mechanisms let the flightcase turn into a powerful and boosting party machine, once the visitors start to dance within the machine's range of perception.

The audience controls the complexity of the generated music and the intensity of the light effects directly by the energy of its dance action. When there is no audience, or when the audience is not active enough, the machine stops its performance and transforms back into a transport crate.

Sweet, a fully functional dance party in a box! This is just what we need to take our apartment dance parties to the next level. That next level being anything better than our last dance party. Which, incidentally, was just my roommate grinding my ass after I passed out on the couch.

P.S.: Josh -- that shit was wrong. I want you to move out.

Worthwhile (but long) explanation and demo of the device after the jump.

Continue Reading " International Dance Party Box Has Radar, Rewards Your Dancing With Lights, Smoke "

Mar 28 2008 Mr. T Cookie Jar Keeps Cookies Safe, Fool!

Listen up, fool! Stuff your cookies in my head and I'll help keep them fresh and safe from annoying rugrats. And if I catch one standing on a stool trying to get at them I'll bite the little bastard's fingers off. I'm Mr. T, damnit. I pity the fool that tries to get up in my dome piece and steal cookies. F***, I need more necklaces. My head feels light enough to float off. Quick, more bling, I got no time for the jibba-jabba!

Mr. T's World of Warcraft commercial and a must see music video called Treat Your Mother Right, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Mr. T Cookie Jar Keeps Cookies Safe, Fool! "

Mar 28 2008 Last Supper With Video Game Characters

Ever wonder what da Vinci's Last Supper would look like with video game characters? Possibly something like this. Except why on earth is Donkey Kong portraying Jesus? That's sacrilege if I've ever seen it. And Mario as Judas? So wrong. Mario or Link should be Jesus, and Princess Peach should be giving them all a table dance.

The LEGO Last Supper from Brick Testament after the jump. It's been posted here before, but I'm doing it again. Why? Because I <3 Jesus.

Continue Reading " Last Supper With Video Game Characters "

Mar 27 2008 Steve Jobs Picture Made Of Apple Products

This is a picture of Steve Jobs made entirely out of Apple products. Its collage nature loosely reminds me of the Star Wars Last Supper, except that one was an awesome scene with Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker, and this one is Steve Jobs. It was created for a special in Fortune magazine.

Originally made in December 2007 and corrected in February 2008 to include the latest Apple products like MacBook Air, iPod nano pink etc. Made with Synthetik Studio Artist, Adobe Photoshop and Apple QuickTime Pro with custom developed scripts and techniques.

I was so inspired by this technique that I decided to make my own collage self-portrait that really exemplifies who I am as a human. Unfortunately, I ran out of pictures of dongs and assholes before I could finish.

Full Size Flickr Picture
via
Incredible Steve Jobs Portrait Made From Apple Products [techeblog]

Mar 27 2008 Drum Table Makes Noise If You Bang On It

The Musical Rumba Table, from MusicalFurnishings.com, makes noise when you bang around on it. That's because it's actually a table with different percussion instruments attached to the underside of the individual tiles. You can even customize your piece by choosing from the 12 available percussion modules (cowbell, tambourine, snare, bongo, etc.). They come in sizes from 2' x 2' ($800) to 4' x 4' ($2,900) and might be worth it if you can't eat dinner without musical accompaniment. Or you could, oh I don't know, just eat a lot of beans. Toot toot! Seriously though, this seems like a great buy. Just look how much fun those people in the picture are having. Tons. It's like an African drumming circle, but a square. And with no Africans, just a bunch of pasty white people.

Video of someone beatin' the ol' blocks after the jump.

Continue Reading " Drum Table Makes Noise If You Bang On It "

Mar 27 2008 Star Wars Golf Bags Shouldn't Have Made It

Come on Star Wars franchise, get with program. With all the other awesome products you had to choose from to release you pick freaking golf bags? WTF!? These golf bags are made in Japan, come in Stormtrooper or Darth Vader styling, cost about $500, and are stupid. Mostly because I'm pissed they didn't release any of that other, cooler stuff instead. I mean Jesus, Star Wars franchise, at least get creative. How about an AT-AT golf cart instead? Death Star golf balls? I mean this thing could have at least been shaped like R2 for Skywalker's sake. #$&!!%! %)#@!!)$#! Star Wars: Episodes 1 and 2 - Attack Of The Phantom French Ticklers am I furious right now.

Another detail picture after the jump.

Continue Reading " Star Wars Golf Bags Shouldn't Have Made It "

Mar 27 2008 Plasma Speakers: Awesome As You'd Expect

Plasma speakers have apparently existed since the 50's, but I'd never heard of them because my life up until this point has sucked. The speakers use a plasma arc to create compression waves instead of the traditionally boring magnets and cones. The "pitch is altered by the constantly shifting intensity of the plasma arc (the creator puts the frequency response range at 200Hz to 12kHz, and the speaker runs at 50W)." Kind of reminds me of the Tesla Coil music maker we saw awhile ago. This video is of an FM-based prototype, which I opted to use on the front page instead of the completed setup after the jump, because I just couldn't bring myself to post a video playing Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins on the main page.

Continue Reading " Plasma Speakers: Awesome As You'd Expect "

Mar 27 2008 For Geekologie Ladies: A 360 Degree Mirror

This mirror is made so you can see all angles of your head at one time. "The 360 Degree Mirror saves you from constantly twisting your neck while you style your hair by featuring a seven panel 360 view that makes all angles visible simultaneously." It costs $40 and the middle mirror is illuminated using three AAA's. I don't need one though. I know what the back of my head looks like. It's bald(ing) and looks like shit. I'd prefer to go right on thinking that it doesn't exist. I'm sure the wife would go apenuts for one of these though. She's always doing her hair up like that chick in the picture. How she can control a blowdryer and brush at the same time is a mystery to me. Must be a woman thing. Like complaining and buying shoes. Ooooh, burn!

UPDATE: Just kidding ladies, that was a joke. Like your driving. HAHA, gotcha again!

UPDATE: Wife...Has...Balls...In...Vice...Is...Searching...For...Hammer...SOS

360 Degree Mirror [trendhunter]

Thanks to Sebastian, which I would name my son if I was still able to procreate, for the tip

Mar 27 2008 Photoshop Express Available Online For Free

Photoshop Express, the long anticipated free photo manipulation tool is now online and accepting members. You ever get a complementary 2GB of storage when you sign up. Someone go ahead and join and give us some feedback in the comments section about what all you can do with it. I'd do it, but I can't compromise the security of my private photos. Because they're private. Read: of privates. Mine.

Photoshop Express Beta

Thanks to Anthony, who takes pictures like nobody's business, for the tip

Mar 27 2008 Footlume Lights Up The Way With Butterflies

The Footlume is being developed at London South Bank University and will be displayed in London later this month. It's a rug. With lights that come on when you walk on it. That look like butterflies. It runs on rechargeable batteries and is questionable because what good is a lighted rug if, by the time it turns on, you're nowhere near it? Ah, for aesthetic purposes, I see. Well could I maybe get some skulls instead of butterflies? It's not that I don't like them, it's just that, well, they're a little feminine for my taste. Sure I wear Secret deodorant, but that's only because it doesn't leave stains on my white shirts. And its pH balance really works with my body.

Michael Jackson Was On To Something [albotas]

Mar 27 2008 Donkey Kong Jungle Juice Is A Misnomer

We've seen several video game inspired energy drinks here at Geekologie, and even a Nintendo offering, but now comes another -- Donkey Kong Jungle Juice. Spotted at the Nintendo World Store in New York, the drink comes packed with all those sperm-reducing agents* energy drinks are known for. Apparently the concoction is pink, smells like bubble gum, and has the flavor of carbonated Kool-Aid. There are theories circulating that it's the exact same stuff that's in the Mario can, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. You can score a can from Anime Castle for $2.25 if you still want to try. I'm going to pass though, as a matter of principle. Everyone knows jungle juice is alcoholic and does not come in a Donkey Kong can. No sir, jungle juice is a combination of Everclear and every other kind of liquor you have in your college apartment mixed with Hawaiian Punch and Sunny D. You scoop it right out of the cooler it was mixed in with a Solo cup. It gets you drunk as shit and makes you puke and pass out on the bathroom floor while people bash your brain in with the door trying to get in to take a piss.

*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. It has, however, been evaluated by Deez Nuts.

donkey kong jungle juice doesn't taste like bananas [technabob]

Mar 26 2008 Robotic Bigdog Beta Early Testing Video

Remember Bigdog, the scary as hell and very lifelike robot mule/dog? Well here's a video of an even earlier rendition of the beast. And I must say, I feel much less compassion for this version than the new one. When this one got kicked over I was actually hoping it'd fall over and break its legs. I mean, it's not lifelike at all. I cared so little I was even secretly praying a hunter would spot the pathetic bastard and put it out of its misery with several well placed bullets to the abdominal region.

Video of BigDog Beta Quadruped Robot Is So Stupid It's Hilarious [gizmodo]

Mar 26 2008 Finger Piano Toy Came With Kid's Magazine

Shougaku Ichinensei, a Japanese magazine for 1st graders, always comes with a special learning toy, and this month it was an awesome Finger Piano. Here's the video. I'm not sure, because it's hard to hear the music over the noise of it being banged against the table, but I think it's someone having a seizure trying to play When the Saints Go Marching In. Still, a fun little gadget, I know I'd be stoked if I was in 1st grade and got something resembling a Power Glove. I mean WTF Highlights? Where were you on this? You didn't come with shit but paper cuts and those damn hidden picture games on the back.

Another video after the jump proving beyond the shadow of a doubt it's practically a fully functional piano you wear on your hand.

Continue Reading " Finger Piano Toy Came With Kid's Magazine "

Mar 26 2008 Flush The John With A Step Of Your Foot

A toilet flushing handle can contain up to 50,000 bacteria per square inch. So I'll stop licking them, but I'm not going to drop $20 on the Footflush. The Footflush is a foot shaped (because you'd have no idea how the f*** to use it otherwise) device you step on in order to flush the john. They hook up to any regular toilet and make the world a better place for germaphobes and people with no arms. But here's a novel idea -- that's free -- kick the damn handle like a normal person. I don't care if it is a little-handled home toilet, you kick that mother. You do it on the big handles in public restrooms, why not at home as well? I prefer the running jumpkick technique. However, due to its difficulty I can only recommend it for intermediate/advanced level kickers. Basically you run, jump, and kick. But be warned: one time I was pissing at Arby's and went up for the flush but miscalculated and ended up busting through the wall and into the kitchen. I told them the commode exploded and demanded a free turnover.

Kick-flush your home toilet with FootFlush [dvice]

Mar 26 2008 London Tower To House 100,000 People

London needs to find room to house 100,000 more people by 2016. One solution is this thing, a massive 5,000-foot tall tower (must see picture of the whole thing after the jump) design by the Populararchitecture firm. Reminds me of the plans for Japan's massive building, but this one is less pyramidal and more phallical.

The tower, which at this point remains simply a novel idea, would take up little actual ground space and run like a proper democracy. It is literally broken up into municipal areas--the "neighborhood" is a singe floor of 600; the village is 20 floors and houses 6,000. There are also three super-districts that house 33,000 people each.

Elected reps serve in a local government and have regular meetings to decide what to do with common areas, which would include an ice skating rink, a botanical garden, an open-air theater, and tennis courts.

Shit, did that just say tennis courts? Sold! How soon can I sign a lease?

Make sure to hit the jump to see the ridiculously tall tower in full effect.

Continue Reading " London Tower To House 100,000 People "

Mar 26 2008 Questionable: Tactile Feedback iPhone Thing

My Touch Keys are little static-cling cutouts you put on top of your iPhone's screen. They're supposed to help you hit the non-physical keys easier and provide tactile feedback when you're typing. Allegedly you can interact through the screen, so it won't affect the rest of the display's usability. They cost $8 for two so if you have monster sausage fingers like my girlfriend you may want to consider giving them a go. Of course she doesn't have an iPhone so it's not a problem. Or any phone for that matter. She doesn't need one because she doesn't have any friends, and if I need her I just yell. Don't worry folks, she knows I'm just pulling her chain. Literally, the one that keeps her tethered to the stove. Now go ahead and put my frozen pizza in the oven, honey.
my touch keys add tactile feedback to iphone, sorta. [technabob]

Mar 26 2008 Tetrad Shelving Looks Good, Tetrisy

These Tetrad Shelves are made by Brave Space Design in Brooklyn, NY. They come in a variety of different options and are built using environmentally sustainable resources. Unfortunately they will deplete your financial resources if you want some. You have to contact them for the price of one like in the picture, but if you hit the jump and see the colored set, those go for $1,500 per 10 blocks. So, yeah, you might want to try making your own. I just hope you're a better carpenter than I am, because I had to cease construction and seek medical attention after nailing my hand to my junk.

See more models after the jump, along with a link to the company's website.

Continue Reading " Tetrad Shelving Looks Good, Tetrisy "

Mar 26 2008 It's About Time: Apple Files Patent For 3-D Display, See You Soon Princess Leia *wink*

This is a diagram from the patent Apple filed on the 20th for a 3-D Holographic Display.

The patent application goes on to assert that two-dimensional projections of 3-D scenes are inadequate. "Without the benefit of 3-D rendering, even high quality images that have excellent perspective depictions still appear unrealistic and flat," it says. "No headgear needs to be worn by the observer. "In one embodiment, the system of the present invention provides a stereoscopic 3-D display and viewing experience; in another, it delivers a realistic holographic 3-D display experience."

Sweet, 3-D. Not to brag or anything, but I see real life in 3-D. Does that make me better than everyone else? Yes. It's a scientific fact that most people only see in 3-C. Unless I've got things backwards and 3-C is actually an improvement over 3-D. In that case I see in 3-A, which is practically x-ray vision. That's right folks, boobs.

Apple files patent for holographic 3-D display [eetimes]

Thanks to Dan, who can see in 5-A because he's from the future, for the tip

Mar 26 2008 Canoflauge Can Covers Hide Your Beer

Canoflauge can covers are made out of vinyl and printed to look like soda cans. You just wrap one around a cold beer, and presto, time to drink in public. I think they could have done a little better with the names, but whatever, you'll have your hand around it anyways. The (reusable) set of four costs $5.89. Mine arrived this morning, so I'll take a stroll around town and let you know how they work.

UPDATE: I was out of beer so I just stuck two of them on a bottle of Jagermeister. It wasn't very convincing, a cop on a Segway arrested me. Someone please post bail. No rush though, I think my cell-mate is a personal trainer and we're going to do some exercising. Great guy, said he's really gonna give my ass a workout.

Canoflauge: This Isn't Beer Officer, It's a Refreshing Can of Skunkpiss [gizmodo]

Thanks to Bianca, who has one of my favorite names, for the tip

Mar 25 2008 Robot Watches Kids While Parents Shop

This scary little bastard is a robotic babysitter developed by Tmsuk and currently being utilized by a retailer in Fukuoka, Japan. It looks like a cross between a cat, the devil, a shitty digital camera, and a bumper car. The unit packs an integrated projector and can communicate with annoying little kids through the use of a special tags the rugrats have to wear. No word on how much the robots cost, but I bet they're expensive. And ridiculous. My dad didn't need a babysitter for me when we went shopping. No sir, he just lashed me to the front of the shopping cart. Plus, whenever I misbehaved he'd teach me "valuable life lessons" about how long scars take to heal by running me into displays and other people's carts. *sniffle* Love ya, dad.

Robot babysitter keeps kids occupied in Japanese store [engadget]

Thanks to Shawn, who can destroy robots with just a stare, for the tip

Mar 25 2008 Really Awesome Alphabet Pop-Up Book

ABC3D is a pop-up book featuring the alphabet. Each letter is displayed in a creative way. I watched the video two times. I really liked the music too. They're available for pre-order on Amazon for $20, which isn't too bad. Unfortunately you can't use it to teach your children the alphabet because then they'll never be able to recognize letters in 2D.

Popup by Marion Bataille [fubiz]

Thanks to Romain, who can spell anyone's ass off, for the tip

Mar 25 2008 Man Allegedly Kills Himself With A Robot

Allegedly an 81 year-old man in Australia killed himself with a robot that he found the plans to build on the internet. The robot held a .22 pistol and fired when the dude pushed a button or something. Now call me crazy, but I don't think we're getting the full story here.

Evidence: 81 year-olds don't know how to use the internet. If they do it's to sign on to AOL and download a shit-ton of viruses or give their bank account information to a Nigerian exile.

Evidence: No 81 year-old can build a robot. All the geriatrics I know don't do anything but piss themselves and suck at guessing prices on The Price Is Right because their brains are so f***ed.

So what can we conclude from this? Government. Conspiracy. Just kidding. But I will tell you what really happened. This man obviously built the robot a long time ago, when he was still reasonably sane (probably in his late 40's - 50's). Then his hearing started to go. Over the years he had to turn the volume on the television up louder and louder in order to watch Matlock and old Westerns. One day the robot got fed up with the noise, ordered a gun online, and blasted him. Case. Closed.

Is This Rubbish Bin a Suicide Machine? [boingboing]

Picture (minus that awesome gun I added) via Emily O on Flickr

Mar 25 2008 Trapeze Chandelier: Start Your Own Circus Act At Home And Break Lots Of Stuff

The Do Swing is a trapeze chandelier. It's currently conceptual but you could probably make your own as long as you found a solid stud running in the ceiling somewhere. Blah, blah, blah are those coke whores stretched out on the table? Why wasn't I invited to this party? The chick on the left is totally about to flash the camera. The far right one is drinking and peeing on the rug simultaneously. The crazy drunk is swinging from the chandelier and one of the coke queens is looking up her skirt. All the while the skanky one on the table is trying to nonchalantly size up the camera man's package. Advertising people: this is how you sell products. I just called the company and ordered ten. They told me they're still just conceptual but I told they could keep my money anyways.

Who would want a trapeze chandelier? Everybody! [dvice]

Mar 25 2008 Raytheon Tool Blows Through Concrete

The Raytheon Controlled Impact Rescue Tool (CIRT) weighs 100 pounds and can smash through concrete walls. The product has rescue in its name, but I assure you it'll be busting down all kind of walls where the primary objective isn't to save anyone. A little slow though Raytheon, because I've had one of these for years. It's called a jealous girlfriend. She thinks she hears another girl's voice on the other side of locked door/wall and she'll tear through it like a wet paper bag with a chocolate bar inside.

Worthwhile video of the unit in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Raytheon Tool Blows Through Concrete "

Mar 25 2008 Wooden Knuckles Are One Size Fits Most, Made Of Wood, Not Metal Or Glass Silly!

These wooden knuckles are made of walnut and cost $40. Why you'd buy them is a mystery to me, because if you're not going to dip your gluey hand in a barrel of broken glass before a fist fight then you're a sissy. Say, these remind me of that time in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana was chasing after Marion because she was being kidnapped in a basket when some dude with a sword jumped out of the crowd to try and stop him. There dude was, swinging his sword around and shit, and you know what Indy did? Indy just shot that mother. "Bad dates!" Damn I love that movie. If the new one sucks I'm hanging myself.

Wooden Knuckles [notcot]

Mar 25 2008 Mega Man 2 Scarf Sadly Doesn't Come With That Sultry Model Or The Awesome Hat

This is a Mega Man 2 themed scarf that has all the robot bosses on it. As you can see there's, um, Fan Man. And Frog Dude. Was that sacrilegious? Fine, Air Man and Bubble man. It's for sale if you want it, but it costs $150. It is, however, one of a kind. It is not, however, not bright yellow. Damn I'm in love with that girl in the picture. It's like she's looking into my soul and likes what she sees. Which is probably the potato salad and Fruit Rollup I had for breakfast.

One more of the detail after the jump.

Continue Reading " Mega Man 2 Scarf Sadly Doesn't Come With That Sultry Model Or The Awesome Hat "

Mar 25 2008 Crack Deal Caught On Google Maps?

Allegedly this is a picture of a crack deal caught using the "Street View" feature on Google Maps. It's in Chicago. Now why everyone is jumping to the conclusion that this is some kind of drug deal is beyond me. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for the picture that doesn't involve illicit substances, and I think this is it: Somebody was lost, and pulled over for directions. The guy in the picture there knows the area really well, so he provided significant help. The driver was so happy about this that they tipped the man graciously with a handful of cash. See? Perfect sense. It's just a good Samaritan being handsomely rewarded. For selling the best rocks in Chicago.

See the real close-up picture of the deal after the jump.

Continue Reading " Crack Deal Caught On Google Maps? "

Mar 24 2008 Monocycle Only Seats One For A Reason

Because there's no way in hell a woman would ever want to get on that thing with you. It just screams "I can juggle and perform magic tricks". Not that you juggling magicians out there aren't cool. You're just cool in a way that doesn't make women want to have sex with you. Anyways, if you're a risk taker and still want one the cycle has a 31cc engine, top speed of 25MPH, and a half gallon of fuel will get you two hours of riding enjoyment. It costs $13,000, which is more than a nice used car. Which would be a lot more practical. A nice used cat, however, would not be. Unless it was Cringer, He-Man's Battle Cat. Did I really just go there? Damn yeah I did. Castle Grayskull bitches, what?

Frightening Looking Motorized Monocycle [uberreview]

Mar 24 2008 More Robots Of The Coming Apocalypse

In the near future the planet will be ruled by robots and any surviving humans will live huddled in caves crying about how it was a bad idea to create them in the first place. So yeah, be warned. This is a video of a climbing robot. It looks friendly and harmless enough, but deep down, just like every robot, it wants to kill.

Called Capuchin, the robot scales vertical walls using four limbs that can shift its weight to stay balanced. It and other climbing robots could be key to uncovering the geology of Mars.

Weight shifting robot, cool. But you know what would be cooler? If it had guns. And bombs. Ooh ooh ooh -- and a laser razor chainsaw for an arm. Now that would be a damn robot.*

*Until one actually kills me, robots with weapons will remain awesome.

Youtube

Thanks to Raul, a man capable of surviving the robot apocalypse, for the tip

Mar 24 2008 World's Coolest Bowser Tattoo Is Damn Cool

This is by far the awesomest Bowser tattoo in the known universe (and there are lots) but unfortunately this pasty clown beat me to it. I bet it's his Myspace profile picture too. Bastard.

Multi Tasking Boswer Tattoo [albotas]

Mar 24 2008 Forget Shooting Clay Pigeons, Go For Flying Cars. Top Gear Shows Us How It's Done.

This is a video of Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear shooting cars as they fly off a cliff with a shotgun, machine gun, and finally -- a rocket launcher with some sort of seeking munition that ricochets around and explodes fuel tanks. Awe to the some! This officially makes Top Gear is the awesomest show since I made my little brother try to jump over a kiddy pool filled with burning gasoline on a modified Big Wheels. Whoa bro, don't get mad at me -- I said hit the ramp at FULL SPEED. It's not my fault if you don't know how to follow directions. Seriously though, get well soon.

Shooting Flying Cars with Machine Guns, Rocket Launchers [gizmodo]

Mar 24 2008 Human-like Homer Is Scarier Than I Thought

Remember the human Mario rendering from last week? Well here comes Homer.

This one was a bit more difficult in that i wanted the light to come in mainly from one side with a bit of back light. So all my reference had to be lit from one side. For textures i needed but didn't have this lighting situation, i had to darken or light a bit to give the same effect.

For clarification, these aren't studies of what Homer would look like if he was a real person, its just what a cartoon like Homer would look like if he kept his toon proportions but had realistic texturing and lighting. I find this slightly less disturbing than the Mario one. :) Some might feel he looks too old, keep in mind he was in his 30's 20 years ago when the show first started. ;)

Great job, he looks scary as shit. I do like how you used my penis model for the nose though. Nice touch.

Pixeloo Homer Simpson [notcot]

Mar 24 2008 Grandma, You Old Bat, I Said "YOU LOOK FREAKING RIDICULOUS WEARING THOSE"

Batphones were designed by Matthias Ries to help the hard of hearing look funny. They're basically a pair of shaped plastic cups you wear like headphones. I got a pair for my grandma and she loves them. ISN'T THAT RIGHT GRANDMA? I SAID "ISN'T THAT RIGHT?" Damn she still can't hear for shit. Oh, it looks like she dozed off. And is drooling. On my couch. Awesome.

Grandma for sale. Free grandma. Goes by Beatrice. Old exterior, but young at heart. Runs great but may leak fluids on your expensive furniture. Cooks, but not that well and often forgets the stove is on. May present a fire hazard.

Continue Reading " Grandma, You Old Bat, I Said "YOU LOOK FREAKING RIDICULOUS WEARING THOSE" "

Mar 24 2008 Robot Drummer Is Cute, Makes Me Emotional

Whenever I see a cute robot I always get a little emotional. Mostly because of that movie with the little robots in it where the one gets injured and dies. Or maybe it doesn't die, I can't remember. I just know I was sadder than hell. What was the name of that movie? Let me do some searching. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED! *sniffle* Oh my God somebody give me a box of tissues.

Okay I'm holding it down. Meet Yellow Drum Machine. He's a little robot that cruises around the room running into things. When he hits something that seems like it might make a pretty noise he bangs on it a couple of times and takes audio samples. If he likes what he hears he busts out with a little beat using his metal tinker and another butt bopper. He was constructed by robot hacker fritsl out of a bunch of random parts, including, but not limited to: a PICAXE 28 microcontroller, a sound sampler, and a cheese crate. Damn is he cute or what? If I do ever have a child with my Roomba mistress, I can only hope he comes out looking half as handsome. And with treads. So I can ride on him like a tank. Tankboy, take me to the liquor store.

Two worthwhile videos after the jump, one of him playing a glass of fruit punch, and another of him playing the wall in somebody's bathroom.

Continue Reading " Robot Drummer Is Cute, Makes Me Emotional "

Mar 24 2008 Shirt Allegedly Protects From Knife Slashes

This shirt from Nihon Uni of Japan allegedly protects its wearer from knife attacks. But be warned -- only slashes, NOT stabs. They cost anywhere from $190-$522 for short-sleeved models and $220-$590 for the long. The shirts are constructed of a ultrahigh molecular weight polyethylene fiber that's 3x the strength of cotton. Apparently they were designed to address the recent increase in knife attacks on convenience store clerks and children in Japan. If these really help then I'm all for them. However I'm going to hold out for the stab proof version myself. When the wife gets mad she doesn't get all slashy on me, she gets stabby. And, on more than one occasion, shooty.

Meshy T-shirt from Japan protects you from Knife attacks but not Shurikens [newlaunches]

Mar 21 2008 Want An Island? Jack Will Build You One

Want your own artificial island? Then you've come to the right place. Because Jack, that dapper assclown in the picture there, will build you one. That's right, for a paltry $400,000 Jack promises a sweet 110 foot movable island. He has an eBay auction going (with a starting bid of $300,000) and very professional website, but this is the only picture I could find. And it's not even of the island, it's his underwater home schematic!

Be the first to own this beautiful, unique 2500 Sq. Ft. home. The home actually sits 20 feet below the ocean's surface under a man made, movable island. What does the interior look like? That's up to you! You have a 50 ft. by 50 ft. square to do with as you please. I build the box, you dice it up however suits you. All the exterior walls are made of bullet proof glass giving you an unprecedented view of life under the sea.. This home can be yours for just $5,000,000!

Now, if you look at the graphic there it all makes sense. As you can see it has all the necessities, like floating squares. And let us not forget about the island surface! That's a must have. Oh look, buoyancy and square are spelled incorrectly. Wow, sending this guy my life savings is looking more and more like the smartest decision I'll ever made.

eBay Auction
and
Product Website

Thanks to GRRR25, king of tiger people, for the tip

Mar 21 2008 Washing Machine/Toilet Combo Saves Water

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- just pee in the freaking shower like a normal person. Well for those of you out there that want to go green but don't want to pee on your foot, there's the WashUP washing machine/toilet combo. Basically after a load of clothes are washed the machine saves the water to later flush the toilet. As an added bonus if you happen to run out of toilet paper you can just grab one of your roommates shirts out of the thing. Awesome design. Now I can die happy knowing I've seen what a washing machine would look like riding piggy back on a shitter.

WashUP: A washing machine on your toilet [slipperybrick]

Mar 21 2008 End Of The World Clock Is Inaccurate

Artist Gianni Motti had a dream. A dream of a really long LED timer that displays an approximate countdown to the sun's demise and resulting destruction of the earth. It started in 2005, so we're at about 5 billion years minus a few. But I've got some bad news for you Gianni. The world will end when I say so. And it's going to be a hell of a lot sooner than 5 billion years. That's right, and there's nothing that blue douche Captain Planet and his kiddy companions can do about it either. MUWHAHAHA!! *cough, cough* *chin falls off* F***ing leprosy.

clock counts down to the end of the world [technabob]

Mar 21 2008 Call Of Duty 4 Gunshots Techno Song

Following in the footsteps of the songs made only with sounds from operating systems comes this entry. It's a techno-ish song made using the gun sounds from Call Of Duty 4. You might like it. If, of course, you're the kind of person that takes E and spend hours dancing around in the dark with glowsticks and sweating your ass off. Just kidding, I liked it and I don't do that. Anymore. My only complaint is that after repeated listening it started to sound like someone banging on a metal trashcan. Oh my God two mourning doves are doing it on the branch outside my window! Spring has sprung! At last. Ha, he's done already. Good show. Now the female's pecking him in the eyes.

Youtube

Thanks to Skeps, who all the ladies love, for the tip

Mar 21 2008 Little Car Gets A Staggering 8,923 MPG, Doesn't Have Room To Make Out In The Back

The Microjoule competition car is the lovechild of a caterpillar and a jellybean. And maybe a go-cart that was originally just filming but ended up getting in on the action. The amazingly green vehicle can "make the journey between New York and Los Angeles over three times on just one gallon of gas." !!! It has won Shell's Eco-Marathon every time since the car's original inception in 1992. "Amazingly the Microjoule doesn't have any fancy tricks -- it's just an aerodynamic, lightweight one-seater that runs off gasoline, but runs for a long time." Man, there has got to be some trick. Like a hamster wheel or a sorcerer or something. Something. Cars just can't go nearly 9,000 on a single gallon of gas. So I'm just going to go ahead and set the record straight right here: Magic. That's right folks, The Gathering.

Microjoule competition car gets amazing 8,923 miles per gallon [dvice]

Mar 21 2008 New Sony Computers Come With Option For No Extra Garbage Installed, Charge You For It

Sony has a new product option available when you buy a laptop from them online. It's called Fresh Start, and it's not so much a product as a lack of products. Namely all the useless crap programs that typically come installed on a new computer. And it only costs $50! That's right, the Fresh Start option will "free up valuable hard drive space and conserve memory and processing power while maximizing overall system performance right from the start." Wow, Sony, wow. I understand you get paid by all the vendors to include their stupid trialware, but this is a dick move. But since I'm such a nice guy, I'd like to offer you a little deal of my own. It's called the Geekologie writer's New Beginnings option of nut kicking. I'll be running a special when I show up at corporate early next week. Everyone is still getting kicked in the sack, but for $50 I'll wear a flip-flop instead of a combat boot.

UPDATE: Apparently Sony caught wind of my upcoming visit and decided to drop the $50 charge starting tomorrow.

Lame: Sony Charging $50 NOT To Put Crapware On Your New Laptop [ohgizmo]

Mar 20 2008 Tetris Mirror Is Reflective, Many Pieces

The Tetris mirror is the brainchild of UK product designer Soner Ozenc. It's a mirror made of 13 separate interlocking pieces. They come in gold and silver surfaces and totally suck because there's no such thing as single square tetrads in Tetris. Come on Soner, get with the program. No word on price or availability, but I don't care anyways, because this thing would be a danger to have around. With so many separate little mirrors, one is bound to fall off the wall and break. And you know what that means don't you? That's right -- you'll step on the broken pieces one night on the way to the bathroom to drain your snake. Your need to frequently urinate will be due to a bladder weakened from holding it too long too many times . You'll cut your foot open and leave a blood trail down the hallway. Then your wife will wake up and freak out because you're not in bed and there's a blood trail leading out of the room. She'll call the cops and say you've been murdered even though in reality you're safely asleep on the john. Then you'll hear a pound on the door, wake up, and forget to put your pants back on before answering it. It'll be the cops, and they'll all laugh at your penis.

tetris mirror reflects your puzzled expression [technabob]

Mar 20 2008 How To Mod A Disposable Camera To Shock The User, Or How To Be A Real Jerk

This is how to modify a disposable camera to redirect the voltage that would normally be used to charge the capacitor to shock the unsuspecting user instead. I actually saw some kids do this in middle school a long time ago, but all they did was take the camera apart and take the two wires and twist them so that they were crossed but not touching. Then they'd slap you on the arm with it and they'd connect and shock. It was ghetto, and I'm pretty sure those kids have long since gotten their first taste of prison food. Anyways, this version is a lot classier than that one. There's some footage of people using it after the tutorial, and it looks like it works pretty good. I'm just glad they didn't try it on me, because they'd be in store for a little shock prank of their own. And that shock would come in the form of a live 240V wire being jammed up their ass. I swear, I'm such a prankster.

The Stunning Camera [pyroelectric]

Thanks to Chris, who is stunning himself and who I would not actually do that to, for the tip

Mar 20 2008 The Eiffel Tower's New Celebratory Party Hat

To celebrate the Eiffel Tower's 120th anniversary as one of the world's most recognizable phallic landmarks, it's going to don a temporary party hat designed by architectural firm Serero.

The design is based on a generative script, creating branches out of the primary structure of the tower. Inspired by the structural concept of Eiffel of three-dimensional cross bracing beams, the script unfolds along curved lines the “DNA” of the tower. The script used the existing structure at the top of the tower ( a 10 by 10 meters cube) to generate 3 structural weaves, which are interconnected. These layers are combined to create a woven complex, which is based on the redundancy and the non-repetition of patterns to increase its structural performance. In opposition with modern engineering (based on the concept of repetition and optimization), the project for the Eiffel tower extension is based on an alternative model of high performance.

Cool, I guess. What better way to celebrate a landmark than building it an awesome party hat? I can't think of any. I suggest we do something similar for the Statue of Liberty's upcoming 125th anniversary. Based on her pose, I'm thinking it'd be pretty easy to make Lady Liberty look like she's funneling a beer.

A ton more pictures of the tower's addition after the jump.

Continue Reading " The Eiffel Tower's New Celebratory Party Hat "

Mar 20 2008 Under-bed Flat Panel Television System

You may have already seen this awesome television raising system before because it's been out for awhile, but if not, check it out. Made by MK-1 Studio, the system stores a 50" LCD or plasma television under the bed, and then whips it out for your viewing pleasure in 35 seconds. Unfortunately I heard the damn thing costs $14,000, which may or not be true. I did hear it from a reliable source though. And by reliable source I mean someone on another website's comments section who posts under the alias Sketchyjack.

A MUST SEE VIDEO of the lift in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Under-bed Flat Panel Television System "

Mar 20 2008 Guitar Hero For DS Looks, Um, Something

So this is how Guitar Hero: On Tour will be played on the Nintendo DS. By strumming your stylus on the touchscreen and mashing buttons on a fretboard attachment. You know, I really think that this version of the game is getting dangerously close to playing real guitar. The game is supposed to ship sometime this summer and it better have an option to flip the screen or something so you can play left-handed. Because otherwise it proves my sneaking suspicion that Activision is run by a bunch of righty fascists.

UPDATE: Questionable commercial added after the jump.

Continue Reading " Guitar Hero For DS Looks, Um, Something "

Mar 20 2008 Dieting: As Simple As Wearing Blue Glasses

Everybody knows McDingdongdonald's and other fast food restaurants use red and yellow colors in their logos and restaurants because they're warm and make you hungry. And that's why they shy away from cold blues, because they have the opposite effect. Well now, thanks to these sweet Japanese glasses, dieting is as simple as rocking a pair of blue lenses! According to a horribly translated article:

It stimulates the physiological circulation of the human that it is appetite the effect of red approaches the brain among non consciousness, would like to eat generally, that it increases. It is said that the appetite it calms the excitation of the brain above that would like to eat blue color conversely, is held down. Those where the color physiology is applied are these sunglasses. “You drink continuously” if and so on poor even with the person where “it moves”, this because just you apply with easily is, it is easy to continue without being chased in stress, probably will be.

Perfect sense. The glasses cost about $20 here, or you can do what I did and take your grandpa's bifocals and cover them in blue magic marker. I must admit -- I'm not feeling very hungry. I am, however, dizzy.

Lose Weight by Wearing Sunglasses [albotas]

Mar 20 2008 Sleep Masks May Pose A Danger In Bed

FreakyOldWoman is a freaky old woman that makes things and sells them on Etsy. Recently she made a line of disturbing sleep masks that will make you kill your partner if you wake up and see them in one. Several of them made me queasy just looking at them. The picture there is of a steampunk model, but they get a lot more disturbing than that. They're all $10 apiece with free shipping, so some of you may actually want one. They're too creepy for me though. Besides, my girlfriend and I have other sleep related problems to concern ourselves with. Like, oh I don't know, waking up to a cat shitting on the pillow between our faces.

Several more masks, along with a link to all of them, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Sleep Masks May Pose A Danger In Bed "

Mar 20 2008 Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined

Apparently a gnome is terrorizing the town of General Guemes in Argentina. Although from the report he didn't actually do anything but try to cross the street (video after the jump!). I mean it's not like he's sucking the blood of your goats like the Chupacabra does. He's just trying to get his gnome on. Leave the poor bastard alone. He's probably just wandering the countryside looking for a nice garden to accentuate.

Must see crappy quality video of the handsome little devil after the jump. But turn down the volume -- the guy filming shrieks like a little girl at the end. Oh -- and if anybody can translate what the kids are talking about I'd like to know.

Continue Reading " Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined "

Mar 19 2008 Infinity LED Bricks Really Take Me Back

LED Glass Bricks are a recent winner of one of the coveted "Red Dot" awards for good design. It's basically an infinity mirror with integrated LEDs so you get an awesome light show that stretches on into, well, a really far distance. The color shifting blocks can even be computer-controlled, for a really crazy lightshow. Damn these take me back. Back to my days on the dance floor of Studio 54, where, depending on who you ask*, I may or may not have made out with Eva Gabor while doing zooters off Elton John's ass.

* If you ask me, it happened. If you ask anybody else I wasn't born yet.

LED Glass Brick wins Red Dot Design Award [dvice]

Mar 19 2008 The Runt Still Manages To Pack A Punch

At only 3.25", the Runt stun gun is pretty damn small (but still puts me to shame). They come in 350,000, 650,000 and 950,000 volt models and there's even a rechargeable 950 model that plugs directly into the wall via retractable plug. It'll operate about 300-500 times on a full charge, which is good because thats how many times I like to shock attackers. The rechargeable version costs $70, and all the other ones are cheaper. I'd been thinking about getting a stun gun for my girlfriend for some time, and I decided to go with one of these since it's nice and compact. She hates it. Mostly because I told her it was a handheld electrolysis hair remover. You should have seen her trying to get rid of her mustache, priceless.

The Runt - A Matchbook Sized Stun Gun [ohgizmo]

Mar 19 2008 Music Video About How To Quit Playing Video Games And Get With Women Instead

This is a music video by Dragon Boy Suede and Jonah Ray entitled "Quit Playing Video Games And Get Laid". That's what it's about. It features lots of video games and awesome lyrics like "Why you so obsessed with Donkey Kong? Pay some attention to your lonely dong. " Needless to say it's my new favorite song. And I'm totally going to follow its advice. Well, after a few more rounds of Smash Brothers Brawl.

Quit Playing Video Games And Get Laid [superdeluxe]

Mar 19 2008 New And Improved Bookmark Uses Air

Call me old-fashioned, but I still read books. Big ones with lots of words. And typically I just use a bill I'm not going to pay or a piece of toilet paper to mark my page. Or, if I'm desperate, I'll just dog-ear the hell out of it. Well now a group of designers have developed the ABRACADABRA bookmark. All you have to do is squeeze the air filled bladder, and BA-BOOM!, your book explodes open to the right page, showering you with torn pages. Just kidding, it just transfers the air to the other air chamber and makes a little space where you left off. I know, my design was way better. And what's up with the copy there in the graphic? First, I doubt Aladdin would appreciate someone squeezing his tube any time they want to get their read on. And secondly, the copywriter who wrote that thing about "starting the story that leads you to a whole new world" should be fired for being high at work.

Puffy Bookmark [yankodesign]

Mar 19 2008 Bouncing Oil Is Neat, Proves Many Theories

This is a picture of a stream of oil entering a pool of the same substance, bouncing off the bottom, and arcing back out.

Normally a liquid stream colliding with a pool of liquid merges immediately upon contact, perhaps also bringing air into the pool with it. However when the pool is moving as the stream hits, it can slide along the surface being separated from the pool by a thin layer of air. The air layer supports the jet and lubricates the motion between it and the bath. The same process happens when sliding a piece of paper across a desk or when a car hydroplanes on a wet road. But instead of a hard surface like the desk or the road, the jet is on top of a liquid surface, which is flexible like a trampoline. Because of the weight of the jet and the force required to change directions, the surface is pressed downward and a dent is formed in the shape of a bowl. The sliding jet then ramps out of this bowl and into the air.

Now I have no idea whatsoever what that means, but damn does it look neat. And I'm not much of one for reading long scientific explanations, but I'm fairly certain this proves many theories, including, but not limited to: the theory that wormholes exist. That time travel is possible. That science is cool, and that motor oil makes a great sexual lubricant in a pinch.

Two more pictures and a worthwhile VIDEO after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bouncing Oil Is Neat, Proves Many Theories "

Mar 19 2008 Bat-Like Spy Plane Not Endorsed By Batman

The Army has awarded the College of Engineering at the University of Michigan $10 million dollars to develop this bat-inspired spy plane. The flying mammal plane would "gather data from sights, sounds and smells in urban combat zones and transmit information back to a soldier in real time." Among the top developmental priorities are microelectronics for the 6" spy plane.

They will develop sensors, communication tools and batteries for this micro-aerial vehicle that's been dubbed "the bat." Engineers envision tiny cameras for stereo vision, an array of mini microphones that could home in on sounds from different directions, and small detectors for nuclear radiation and poisonous gases. Low-power miniaturized radar and a very sensitive navigation system would help the bat find its way at night. Energy scavenging from solar, wind, vibration and other sources would recharge the bat's lithium battery. The aircraft would use radio to send signals back to troops.

Awesome, I hope it actually happens. Otherwise that's a lot of money down the drain for a work bench covered with scrap metal and electronic parts. Say, does anybody know how I can score one of these $10 million Army grants? I've got a great idea for urban combat reconnaissance missions. It's called me in a trenchcoat with a spy camera bow-tie.

A closeup render of the bat's head area after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bat-Like Spy Plane Not Endorsed By Batman "

Mar 19 2008 R.I.P. Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008)

If you haven't heard, Arthur C. Clarke passed away in Sri Lanka after suffering from breathing problems. He was 90. Best known for writing 2001: A Space Odyssey and developing the idea of geosynchronous orbiting satellites, Clarke was a talented writer, inventor and futurist. I hope even you Mac haters out there can look past that computer in the back and take this time to remember a brilliant mind.

RIP Arthur C. Clarke (December 16, 1917 - March 19, 2008)

Writer Arthur C. Clarke dies at 90 [yahoonews]

Mar 19 2008 Intravenous Lamp Provides A Sickly Light

I hate the hospital. I can see white and pass out just thinking about it. But for some reason I found myself strangely attracted to this "Lichtinfusion" Lamp by Christian Maas. As you can see it looks like a bunch of intravenous bottles with lights inside and tubes dangling. Kind of morbid, but neat. Now what you need to do is take one of these and add a naked guy that looks like the Unabomber. Let's say this guy, oh I don't know, drank “two or three glasses” of vodka and drove his car into a parked fire truck. Imagine the shuffle of slippers and this thing squeaking across the floor as he tries to make his way over to your side of the room whenever you turn off the lights. And that, my friends, is the true story of why I don’t like hospitals.

One more picture with the lights off after the jump.

Continue Reading " Intravenous Lamp Provides A Sickly Light "

Mar 18 2008 OLD!: How (Not) To Safely Transport Pets

For all the lovers of old news out there, here's a post for you: the dog-toting running board sack. It was published in Popular Mechanics in 1936 and still remains the safest way to travel with your pet.

When you take your dog along for a ride, but prefer not having it inside the car, it can ride safely and comfortably in this sack, which is carried on the running board. The bottom of the sack is clamped to the running board and the top is fastened to the lower part of an open window with hooks, covered with small rubber tubing to prevent marring the car.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is a great idea. I'm going to build one for my wife's dog and take her for a spin around town. I'll let you know how it goes.

UPDATE: Okay the dog bit me and refused to get in the sack. Luckily I'm babysitting my little brother later so maybe he'll want to go for a ride.

UPDATE: I backed over him. It's okay though, I was smart enough to test the sack on a bike first before moving to a car. I've made a few modifications, and I think he's down for another go at it.

UPDATE: Okay, I think he's somewhere between the gas station and the movie theater.

Modern Mechanix Round-UP [boingboing]

Mar 18 2008 Ben Heck's Updated One-Handed Controller

Remember Ben Heck? He's the one responsible for the Portable XBox 360 Elite Laptop and One-Handed Controller. Well now he's developed another one-hander that looks even crazier than the first. You use it by moving the bottom analog stick on your leg. I've been looking for a convenient way to free up a hand while playing video games, and this just might be the ticket. Great job Ben, I applaud your efforts to help bring gaming to those who may otherwise be unable to play. Now make a left-handed version.

Ben Heck refines his one-handed Xbox 360 controller [engadget]

Mar 18 2008 ICQ P2P Toothpaste Is Highly Questionable

An Israeli pharmaceutical company is releasing ICQ toothpaste that'll ""help P2P communication (person to person) while reducing bad breath." Awesome. I'm going bald, so I really hope they come out with a hair balm for S2E (self to esteem) communication too. You know, it seems like only yesterday I met my first girlfriend on ICQ. I would always race home to the computer to chat with her after I got out of school. It got pretty serious and we finally we decided to meet one day. And yes, you guessed it -- it was my best friend's dad trolling for boys. He broke up with me a few weeks later.

ICQ, the Toothpaste [gizmodo]

Thanks to Steve, who has shining white teeth and pleasant-smelling breath, for the tip

Mar 18 2008 What Took So Long?: The R2-D2 Trashcan

Man, people have been calling R2-D2 a trashcan forever. Why in the hell it took someone so long to finally monopolize on this idea and make THE AWSOMEST TRASHCAN IN THE GALAXY is a mysery to me. Available from Urban Outfitters the cute little guy stands 24" tall and costs $148. And as if that wasn't already sweet enough, he's a no-touch model. So all you have to do to throw something away is just stomp on his penis there in the front and presto, he opens.

UPDATE: Turns out that's not his penis, just another foot.

R2D2 trash can guarantees instant membership in the geekdom hall of fame [dvice]

Mar 18 2008 Rock Band Mod Uses Real Guitar String

Rock Band just not real enough for you? Would playing a string instead of a strum-bar help? If so then this is the mod for you. All you have to do is dremel and drill the hell out of your guitar and install it. The patent pending kit is available on eBay with a starting bid of $75 plus an ultra-freaking-ridiculous shipping price of $24. You know, that's what I hate about eBay sellers -- their unbelievable shipping charges. I mean, this kit is two pieces of wood, some springs, screws and wire. What the French toast? It's like the time I bought a book and didn't realize the seller was asking $40 shipping. You know what I told that jerk? I told him I didn't want it anymore and if he even thought about leaving me negative feedback I'd find out where he lives and kill his whole family. I take my 100% positive feedback seriously.

Another picture of the unassembled kit and a video of it in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Rock Band Mod Uses Real Guitar String "

Mar 18 2008 Make Sure She Says No By Proposing With The USB Engagement Ring

Being pressured by your significant other to pop the question? Are you just not ready for that kind of commitment but want to get in some good asking practice? Enter the USB Engagement ring. Made as a set of two, they can be connected to transfer data to each other (similar to how you can transfer disease with your privates). Now I don't think I need to tell you this is not the way to get engaged. Nope, this is the way to get kneed in the balls. Unless you're down on one knee, in which case it's the way to get your teeth kicked out.

Oh, and as a side note, those are definitely both man hands in the picture. And yes, the pimp in the back is the same minister that officiated my wedding.

Swarovski Engagement Ring Will Surely Get you Turned Down [ohgizmo]

Mar 18 2008 Transformer Zippos Have The Power To Transform Things Into Things On Fire

These Transformer Zippos are a limited edition release from Japan. They come in black and silver and only 300 of each were made. As you can see from the picture, they're lighters with Optimus Prime's profile on them. I assumed they were snatched up already, but checked eBay and found them available for $110-$140. I like them and all, but I think that it's kind of wrong that when you open the lighter it looks like Prime's head has been cut in half and there's a flame coming out of it. I mean show the robot some respect, he did help save the damn planet. And speaking of helping save the planet, the neighbors (who are probably Decepticon sympathizers) are getting pretty upset about my environmental commitment to peeing in the front yard.
Zippo Transformers, Shiny Pyrotechnical Technology [uberreview]

Mar 18 2008 Robotic BigDog Is Amazingly Lifelike, Scary, Headless, Awesome, Leggy, Strong

This is a new video of Boston Dynamics' incredibly mobile BigDog quadruped robot. The robot has gone through several modifications since its inception, and this is the new-and-improved version. As is evident from the video, the scary little bastard can now climb hills, jump, and carry more than 340 pounds of drugs over the border. Did I mention it looks too much like a real animal? Because it does. And I really did get sad when at 0:35 into the video the guy kicks the shit out of it to show off its self balancing skills. It made me want to punch that guy in the face. You can't just go around kicking robotic animals like that, it's cruel. Robots have feelings too.

UPDATE: It turns out robots don't have feelings after all. Which is actually good news, because I've been wanting to destroy this worthless Roomba for a while now. Take that you non-suctioning piece of crap. *beats with broom handle* HA HA, you can't feel that can you? Nope, because you're just a stupid little robot! *continues the beating, pieces start to break off* Oh my God I think I heard a whimper. *sobs uncontrollably clutching broken robot pieces to bosom*

The old video of the original BigDog after the jump.

Continue Reading " Robotic BigDog Is Amazingly Lifelike, Scary, Headless, Awesome, Leggy, Strong "

Mar 17 2008 More Rejected Star Wars Promotional Goods

Remember the rejected Star Wars/Pepsi promotional products from a couple months ago? Well it turns out there was a whole bunch more! And here they are. Woo-wee! Who wouldn't want a Jabba bean bag couch, Bantha slippers, cockpit sun-shield, or Star Wars-universe mounted animal heads? Not me! I want several of these pretty badly. And now I would like to offer anyone who can make out with a chick (one without a mustache) on a Jabba beanbag chair $10,000 for the picture proving it.* We'll call it the Fat Chance: Not Even A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away Contest. You know, because it won't happen. And if it does, well, the chick has really low standards. Or is a freak. Either way, give her my number when you're done Hutting it.

*$10,000 not included.

MUST SEE GALLERY OF ALL THE OTHER PRODUCTS AFTER THE JUMP.

Continue Reading " More Rejected Star Wars Promotional Goods "

Mar 17 2008 Net Gun Is Probably Safer Than A Taser

The Net-2000 Shooting Net Rod uses compressed air to launch a 52 square foot net at perps (or friends, tigers, etc.). The net can travel approximately 50 feet, so you can be a safe distance away (read: out of stabbing range) and still use the device. They sell for $419, but the net can be reinserted into the device and fired repeatedly, so it's got lots of replay value. Now being the intrepid reporter that I am I decided to track down Spiderman and see what he thought about the new net-slinging device. The interview follows.

Geekologie: So, Spidey. Do you mind if I call you Spidey? (Spiderman nods) Good. Have you seen this new net-gun they've got out?
Spiderman: No.
Geekologie: Well check it out. (plays Youtube video) Do you think this will affect your crime-fighting business at all?
Spiderman: Shit.
Geekologie: Is that a yes?
Spiderman: Shit.
Geekologie: Thank you for your time.

A close-up picture and a video of the gun in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Net Gun Is Probably Safer Than A Taser "

Mar 17 2008 Astronauts Like iPods, Take Them Into Space

This is close-up picture of the Space Shuttle Endeavor orbiting earth. And what is that in the window? An iPod! Astronauts listen to iPods in space (or at least throw them on the dash of the shuttle to look cool)! You know, I'm really glad this picture came out because it's just what I needed to prove my latest scientific theory: even astronauts download music illegally. record players don't work in space. NASA is too cheap to spring for Sirius. the moon landing was a hoax. the Discman is dead.

A zoom-out shot of the shuttle after the jump.

Continue Reading " Astronauts Like iPods, Take Them Into Space "

Mar 17 2008 Yikes!: What A Human Mario Would Look Like

A designer on the website Pixeloo made a rendering of what Mario might look like as a human. It was "created with Photoshop CS2 and a bunch of random faces pasted over a 3d render of Mario from Nintendo." Wow, scary. Trust me, I know what you're thinking -- and I can't believe I spent so many hours of my childhood playing with that pederast either.

The real face of the Mario [notcot]

Thanks to phuzzygish, who is both phuzzy and gishy, for the tip

Mar 17 2008 Bible Fighting Game Is Wrong, Sinful, Fun

Bible Fight is religious-themed Flash game made by This Is Pop for Adult Swim. You get to choose a Biblical fighter (Noah, Moses, Jesus, Mary, Eve, and Satan) and stage (Garden of Eden, Noah's Ark, the Parted Seas, the Manger, Hell, Golgotha, and Heaven) and duke it out Street Fighter style. Each player has special moves (that picture is of Noah releasing his Stampede attack) and I felt pretty wrong playing it. It was kind of fun seeing everyone's specials though. Oh, hold on, phone. "Jesus? I know I shouldn't have played as Satan. I know, I'm sorry. Won't happen again. You and the Apostles are celebrating St. Patty's down at the bar? Count me in. By the way, have you given any more thought to what I said about maybe adding me as the 13th? You know, I just kind of feel like the 13th wheel whenever we all go out is all. Well that's cool, you keep thinking it over. Say, you gonna turn water into green Jello shooters like you did last year?"

Bible Fight
via
Bible Fight: You'll Probably Go To Hell For Playing This [albotas]

Mar 17 2008 Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks

The Natural Radio is controlled by rocks and operates using a scale. The more rocks you put on the volume scale the louder it gets. Same goes for frequency. Now I'm not very coordinated, so I couldn't imagine getting more than two or three stones balanced. What if I want to listen to 105.7? That seems like a lot of rocks. Maybe sand would work though. I'm much better with sand. You should have seen the wicked castle I built on the beach during my last vacation, it was awesome. Well, until that dick Poseidon destroyed it with a big wave. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that lusty night I spent with his sea-goddess Amphitrite. That's right folks, Aquaman is my son.

Several more pictures of the device after the dive.

Continue Reading " Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks "

Mar 17 2008 Spy Hunter Themed Pontiac Car Commercial

In an attempt to go after the "grew up in the 80's and played the hell out of Spy Hunter" demographic, Pontiac's new G8 commercial is based on the video game. I always thought the car was supposed to be a Stingray, but I did some deep digging (~4 seconds on Wikipedia) and found out the fictitious G-6155 Interceptor was actually modeled after a 1983 Z28. So, yeah, you learn something new every day. Like yesterday (Sunday) I learned that the lady who runs the ice-cream van around here parks it in the empty middle school lot and scarfs a lot of the product. I saw her pound at least two Drumsticks, a Flinstones Push-Up, and a Rocket Pop. She better have paid for them too. Because if I find out the price of orange creamsicles went up another dime I'll just die. Now where was I? Oh right, Spy Hunter. Loved the boat part. That was my favorite.

UPDATE: Higher quality video added after the jump.

Continue Reading " Spy Hunter Themed Pontiac Car Commercial "

Mar 17 2008 Intelli Panel: Something Someone Might Buy

The Intelli Panel turns off all your computer peripherals (printers, monitors, Lava Lamps, etc.) whenever you power down your computer. On average the device saves 35 watts/hour and 176 kg of CO2/year depending on the amount of stuff you've got plugged in. It costs about $56 and may not come in a North American model. Still, if you're too lazy to flip the switch on a power strip then this may be the product you need to feel a little greener. Or you could, oh I don't know, slather yourself in green interior paint and get drunk. I did it and I'm feeling mighty green. And leady. That paint was pretty old. Oh, and whether you celebrated on Saturday or you’re getting down today -- HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE!

Intelli Panel - Powers All Computer Peripherals OFF/ON Automatically [likecool]

Thanks to Ben, who the ladies should kiss even if he isn't Irish, for the tip

Mar 14 2008 Wind-Up Robot Dances Better Than I Do

This cute little wind-up robot dances better than I do and costs about $10.50. You just wind him up and away he goes, breaking it down with moves that make me jealous. How could he not brighten up your mood? I think it's just the thing I need to add some flair to my cubicle and make me laugh while the boss is busy pissing all over me. Which, until recently, he used to only do figuratively.

Cutsie wootsie video of him pumpin' up his jam on the dance floor after the jump.

Continue Reading " Wind-Up Robot Dances Better Than I Do "

Mar 14 2008 Neat: What Computer Malware Looks Like

This is what some of the more famous malware looks like in 3D (that particular picture is the PWSLineage trojan).

Malwarez is a series of visualization of worms, viruses, trojans and spyware code. For each piece of disassembled code, API calls, memory addresses and subroutines are tracked and analyzed. Their frequency, density and grouping are mapped to the inputs of an algorithm that grows a virtual 3D entity. Therefore the patterns and rhythms found in the data drive the configuration of the artificial organism.

Well neato, that's not what I thought they'd look like at all. I was expecting they'd look more along the lines of a dragon crossed with a millipede crossed with an octopus but with way more eyes, laser beams, and driving a tank. Or, I dunno, maybe just a wicked coldsore.

Four more after the jump, including Stormy, MyDoom, IRCbot, and Virutmytob.

Continue Reading " Neat: What Computer Malware Looks Like "

Mar 14 2008 Fridge Backpack -- Wait Is That A Thong?

The Boxcooler is a refrigerator in a backpack by designer Sebastian Bertram. It has room for both food and dishes and "thermoelectric Peltier elements replace the traditional “freezer batteries” which defrost after a while. Therefore, the food inside stays fresh and cool for a longer time. They are supplied by a storage cell which can be reloaded inside the car or at home." Sweet, this Sebastian character might be on to something. And by 'on to something' I mean that is totally a thong hanging out in the picture! You marketing people out there could learn a thing or two from Sebastian about how to sell your damn products. And that lesson is this: I'm an ass man.

Backpack fridge with traveller dishes [yankodesign]

Mar 14 2008 Bob's Frozen Pickles Are Unsuprisingly A Huge Hit, Surprisingly Made By John, Not Bob

John Howard used to be a roller skating ring owner that wore a leisure suit and laughed when kids fell or slammed into the wall. That is, until he started freezing pickle juice and selling it to customers. That's when he realized his dream of becoming the frozen pickle king of Texas. And now he is, with his website PickleSickle.com selling over 20,000 kerosene cucumbers each month. You can pick up a box of 16 for $18, or 32 for $28. Or you can just fish one out of the big jar at a gas station and freeze it yourself. And get me one of those reddish pickled eggs while you're at it. I love those things. If pickles aren't your thing though, I have recently introduced a similar product to market. They're called Turdsickles. They're frozen turds. Buy now before it's too late -- they're really selling like hot cakes cold turds. I suck at product design.

Pickle Pops Are Officially The Worst Thing I've Seen Today [ohgizmo]

Mar 14 2008 Mario-Themed Corset Is Gaudy, A Must Have

Remember the disturbing Birdo fetish costume? While not quite as traumatizing, this corset certainly ranks up there with unusual Mario-themed apparel. Made with ultra-rare 80's Mario fabric, this sexy little number was for sale on Etsy. Unfortunately I was too slow to purchase the item myself. So I wrote a little note to the buyer:

Mario Coset Buyer,

You and I are a perfect match like Mario and the Princess Toadstool. We should get together sometime and search for power-ups. You know, under the covers. Growl. Holy shit that wasn't me. Oh my God a tiger! Someone help.

A picture of the art on the back after the jump.

Continue Reading " Mario-Themed Corset Is Gaudy, A Must Have "

Mar 14 2008 Life Isn't So Bad After All: The Rainbow Book

Rainbow in Your Hand is a little book designed by Masashi Kawamura. When you flip the pages like a flipbook a little rainbow appears. How beautiful is that? You know, this makes me think that there still is some good left in the world and everyone isn't just a bunch of a-holes. Ah, I'm really feeling some inner-peace here. What the -- some dude is letting his dog crap in my yard. "HEY YOU! YES YOU, IDIOT -- THE ONLY ONE WHOSE DOG IS SHITTING IN MY YARD! PICK THAT UP OR YOU'RE DEAD. WHOA WHOA WHOA WHERE'D THE MACHINE GUN COME FROM? Fine, I'm going back inside." Life sucks, I hate everything.

Reading Rainbow [albotas]

Mar 14 2008 Camera Can See Through Clothing But Sadly Not In The Way That I Was Hoping For :(

The ThruVision camera, using T-ray ("terahertz ray") technology, can see through people's clothes. The technology has been used by astronomers for some time to study stars, and recently somebody decided to test it on a woman's blouse. Ha, I just said blouse, I'm so old school. Anyways, you won't spot any boobage, but the camera can detect drugs, weapons and explosives from up to 25 meters away.

(T-ray) radiation is a form of low level energy emitted by all people and objects. These are able to pass through clothing, paper, ceramics and wood but are blocked by metal and water. The system works by collecting these waves and processing them to form an image which can reveal concealed objects.

So yeah, the systems are likely to be implemented in airports, subways, train stations, etc. God I'm depressed about this. I get a message in my inbox that reads "Camera that can see through clothing invented" and naturally I got pretty excited. Too bad it only sees in colored blobs. Someone give me a call when the actual T-T ray camera is invented.

Camera 'looks' through clothing [bbcnews]
and
New Brit Security Camera Sees Through Clothes [therawfeed]

Thanks to Franco, who I forgive for the false hope, for the tip

Mar 14 2008 Mustang Modded Into Transformers Cop Car

Following in the footsteps of other movie car modders, Jessie Vigil of Las Vegas, New Mexico (the Vegas without all the awesome hookers and gambling) has pimped out his 2007 Ford Mustang to look like the evil cop car from Transformers. As you can see it's rocking a fake lightbar and even has the police decal on the side. The best part? "Law enforcement agencies say what he's done with his car isn't illegal as long as he doesn't act like a police officer." OMG, yes! I'm totally doing this. I'm not sure what constitutes "acting like a police officer" but I'm going to take a few liberties and assume it doesn't include ramming other vehicles and driving in the median. Oh, hold on I'm getting an idea. Wait for it. Wait for it. Forget the cop car, I'm going to do the ambulance from, uh, any movie with an ambulance in it! I'll never sit through another red light again! Damn this is making me hot. Uh oh, another idea coming -- concentrate -- fully stocked mini-bar in the back. YES! Okay now I just need to pass this drug and alcohol course and get my license back.

Vegas Man Paints Car Like Police Cruiser [myway]

Thanks to Amanda, who is awesome, for the tip

Mar 13 2008 Optimus Mini 3 3.0 Keypad From Art Lebedev

Art Lebedev is now working on a follow up to the (popular?) Optimus Mini 3 keypad, the illegitimate little sister of the Optimus Maximus Keyboard. Just like its much bigger brother, the Mini has dynamic OLED buttons that can be changed according to the needs of your presentation. Updates from 2.0 include wirelessness (the other one wasn't?) and possibly some AC power. Now this is neat an all, but I think it's about time a company put something actually useful into a presentation clicker. You're thinking what I'm thinking aren't you? Hell yeah -- a powerful burning laser beam! That way when the ass-clowns in the back of the meeting start monkeying around during a lull in your Powerpoint you can kill them -- with your clicker! I think this is really going to take multimedia presentations to a whole new level. That level being, uh, laserly homicide.

NOTE: The Powerful Burning Laser Beam Presentation Clicker (Of Death) is a registered trademark of the Geekologie Writer. No unauthorized use of the product name or idea without prior written consent. Patent pending.

Optimus Mini 3 Keypad brings the 'wow' back to gadgets [dvice]

Mar 13 2008 Pillow Brightens To Wake You Up Gradually

The Glo Pillow is a foam pillow with alarm clock innards. 40 minutes before your desired wake time it slowly begins lighting its integrated LEDs to gently bring you back to reality. Apparently it's a much more natural way to rise in the morning that a traditional alarm. It sure as hell is a better way to get up than the fire bell alarm clock, but maybe not as nice as the Orgasmo Alarm Clock. You know, it's not so much that I love sleep and hate the prospect of a new day that makes opening my eyes in the morning so tough. Nope, it's chronic pink eye.

Glo Pillow Wakes You Up Gently [ohgizmo]

Mar 13 2008 Questionable: Survival Zombie Kit On eBay

Having grown up in the Girl Scouts, I live by the motto: "Target fat people and you'll sell more cookies." And also that one about surviving the zombie apocalypse. Well to help fend of the uprising some guy is selling this Zombie Survival Kit on eBay. It looks pretty questionable if you ask me. I mean it's just a sawed off shotgun with 5 shells. What the hell kind of zombie apocalypse are you going to survive with five shells. At least this kit has 10, plus a knife and riot shield. Bidding is currently at a whopping $255 with 9 freaking days remaining, so apparently it's going to go for a lot more than it's worth. Which, according to my calculations, is the cost of a plastic Airsoft shotgun, five empty shotgun shells, and a picture frame.

eBay Auction
via
Zombie Survival Kit For Sale Now - Be Prepared [gizmodo]

Mar 13 2008 OMG, Grody!: Star Wars Cake Features Luke And Leia Totally Playing Tonsil Basketball

Here at Geekologie we've seen our fair share of Star Wars themed edibles, but this is taking it too far. Apparently some sicko icing artist at Albertson's Grocery agreed to decorate this incredibly disturbing cake for an equally sick Star Wars fan. As you can see it features Luke and Leia, brother and sister, totally French kissing. Damn someone is totally f***ed in the head. I could have gone all day (and most of the night) without seeing this. And what's up with the caption? Don't tell me one of those damn cheezburger cats is behind this, my brain will explode.

Incestuous Star Wars Cake [albotas]

Mar 13 2008 Clock Runs Slow, Measures Time In Years

The Life Clock, by Betrand Planes, runs at 1/61,320 the speed of a regular clock. It measures time in years, with each number representing (in my case) 7 long years you've pissed away with a woman that makes you miserable. Not that it matters, because I doubt I'll even make it halfway around the damn thing. Hell, I may not even make it through the night if my girlfriend comes home and reads what I write about her online. Luckily I convinced her I work as a refrigerator repairman. Ha, she's so stupid she'll fall for anything. Oh, hi honey! Home early aren't you? Me? Slow day, no repairs this afternoon. Yeah, I'm just updating my Facebook page. You know, making sure it says I'm in a loving relationship with the woman of my dreams and all. She totally believes me, so gullible. Holy shit, you own a gun? Whoa, whoa let's be rational he--

UPDATE: Blonde female looking for a relationship. Recently (and violently) ended a 7-year run with a freaking loser that was blogging about me behind my back. He, in case you didn't know, had a Tic-Tac sized penis (despite what he may have told you). I'm tired of the guys everyone is talking about on the dating site famousrichguys.com and want a real man. Any takers have to help me bury a body first.

lifetime clock slows time to a crawl [technabob]

Mar 13 2008 Backpack Has Speakers, Stormtrooper Styling

The Reppo II Backpack is a product design by Joonas Saaranen. As you may be able to tell being the astute observer that I know you are, it's a hardshell backpack with speakers. It was designed with those people in mind that want to subject you to their music no matter how much it sucks. Like Captain Deaf of the USS Busted Eardrums I had to sit next to on the bus yesterday. He was wearing headphones, but he had the volume up so loud the whole bus could probably hear. I mean WTF? I was going to grab his iPod and smash it, but I knew that things would work themselves out. And you know what? I was right. He got mugged after getting off at his stop. Poor bastard, no more music for him. Say, speaking of music -- I've got a nice iPod for sale. Great condition, comes with a pair of really loud headphones.

Reppo II Boombox Backpack Could Have Some Niche Appeal [uberreview]

Mar 13 2008 Sugar Jewelry Is Way Sweet (!) (Kill Me Now)

Greetje van Helmond likes making jewelry. She also likes making candy. And now she's making both at the same time! OMGOOGLE! Using what appear to be a number of scientific looking bongs she grows sugar crystals around strings, forming beautiful candy jewelry. I actually remember having eaten some of these before, but I got it at an amusement park and it came on a wooden stick. It was great until the sugar rush kicked in and I tried to jump out of a roller coaster. Still, I'll give the jewelry model a go. I just ordered a necklace, I'll let you know how glamorous I look.

UPDATE: I woke up in the middle of the night being attacked by a vampire. Luckily I managed to drive a stake through its heart before I got bitten. And yes -- you guessed it! -- it turned out to be my candy-loving wife trying to eat the necklace.

Greetje van Helmond

Thanks to Dru, who I wish taught cool lessons because I could learn a thing or two from HER, for the tip

Mar 13 2008 Scientists Build Coilgun That Stops "Bullets"

Scientists at the University of Texas-Austin have developed a coilgun that can allegedly stop projectiles in mid-air. The coilgun works in the opposite manner of a typical coilgun -- this one slowing down projectiles as opposed to speeding them up. Unfortunately (and I know you will all hate me for this) the "bullets" used in the tests are atom and molecule sized. Not .38s or 9mms or anything like that. But still, it's a step.

The coilgun consists of 64 hand-made units (about $25 each) and is powered by its own capacitor. Here's how it works: The researchers trap particles from the air, store them in a tiny chamber, and release them in the direction of the gun. When a particle reaches the gun and encounters the coils, each coil's magnetic field progressively slows the particle down without touching it. The coilgun brought atoms and molecules traveling at 500 meters per second (1,118 mph) to a complete stop.

Yeah, a lot less exciting than I made it out to be. I apologize. I mean, they already have things that can stop bullets. It's called me. Well, to be fair I haven't actually stopped any bullets. I'd like to think my vital organs slowed them down a bit though. Anyway, the eventual goal of this coilgun project is to weigh neutrinos, which, if I had to guess, are particles that don't want to get involved in the fight between positrinos and negatrinos. But what do I know? I'm no scientist. I'm just a guy who sneaks into the physics lab to heat my coffee with a laser.

Magnetic Gun Stops Teen Bullets Mid-Air [discoverynews]

Thanks to Michelle, who is aw-aw-AWESOME, for the tip

Mar 12 2008 Freedom Ship: For When The World Floods

When the world floods only a few people will survive. I will be one of them, because I'm blasting off in a rocket ship instead of jumping onto a glorified cruise ship. But whatever. The Freedom Ship, which is a floating city, has existed as a concept for some time. But now the company (Freedom Ship International) is moving forward with construction and expects the monster to be completed in three years. Which means it may go into service before the apocalypse. It will have the following amenities:

18,000 living units, with prices in the range of $180,000 to $2.5 million, including a small number of premium suites currently priced up to $44 million.
* 3,000 commercial units in a similar price range
* 2,400 time-share units
* 10,000 hotel units
* A World Class Casino
* More than 100 acres of outdoor Park, Recreation, Exercise and Community space

Wow, BO-RING. Oh you want to hear what my rocket ship will have do you? Well I'm glad you asked. The Geekologie Writer's Intergalactic Freedom Rocketship Of Safety will contain the following amenities:

*Me
*You
*A hot tub
*Some champagne
*Bathing suits optional
*Come over whenever
*Wink*

Do you see what I did there? I pretended to have a rocketship to lure beautiful women over to my house for some fun in the hot tub. *ding-dong* Oh, that's the doorbell -- looks like I've got my first taker -- back in sec. Damnit, that was a dude. Yeah, and he was sans swim trunks. Didn't I say no dudes? Shit, I must have forgotten.

UPDATE: NO DUDES!

One more conceptual pic from above after the jump off.

Continue Reading " Freedom Ship: For When The World Floods "

Mar 12 2008 Mathematical Society Of Traffic Flow In Japan Replicates "Shockwave" Traffic Jams

The Mathematical Society of Traffic Flow in Japan used a test track to replicate traffic jams that seem to occur for no reason. These "shockwave" traffic jams travel backwards at about 20 km (~12 mph). That's why you don't always see the massive wreck you expected after sitting in traffic for so long. It's just the result of varying speeds, women drivers, and probably some asshole on a cellphone.

NOTE: Joking ladies. I have two or three female friends so you know I'm not sexist. I have nothing against women drivers. Just my wife, because she sucks at driving. She couldn't keep her car off the sidewalk if it meant a lifetime supply of Little Debbie snack cakes.

Traffic Flow Video [notcot]

Mar 12 2008 Framing Your Home Entertainment Center Is Wrong, Fugly, Should Be Against The Law

So yeah, rich people are framing their home entertainment centers. Because, well, I don't know why. I guess they have bad taste or something. I find it ironic that in the picture the entertainment center and DVD rack are framed and the actual piece of art there isn't. I don't get it. What I do get is free drinks at the bar. Yeah, I just wait for the bartender to turn around and then I reach across the bar and pour myself one. Yesterday he noticed I had more beer than he remembered and asked where I got it from. You know what I said? I said it fell off the back of a truck. And you know what he said back? Nothing -- he just punched me in the teeth.

Got a nice home entertainment center? Frame it! [dvice]

Mar 12 2008 Gas Powered Blender Is Rocking Handlebars

This party blender is powered by a 23cc 4-stroke gas engine (which I assume was yanked from a yard-trimmer or leafblower or something) and costs about $300. The pitcher holds up to 48oz and is sure to destroy the hell out of whatever you put in (suck it Blendtec douche). Oh yeah, and it's got a sweet set of handlebars complete with twist throttle! And to think I've gone so long mixing my frozen drinks in an electric blender with no handlebars. God, I feel like such a little girl. And not just because I'm wearing a Hello Kitty training bra. Although that is part of it.

Gas Powered Party Blender With Handlbars Powered By 23cc Engine [tfts]

Thanks, as always, to Andrew for the gas-powered tip

Mar 12 2008 Star Wars Last Supper Painting Is Made From Like Trillions of Captures From The Movies

This 262-megapixel (24,168 x 10,864) mosaic is made out of 69,550 screen captures from the Star Wars series. The piece was made by Avinash Arora using some mosaic software and a tweaked algorithm. As you can see it's stunning. It was printed out at 3'x6' because the printer Avinash went to was unable to open the 712-megapixel version (3GB compressed, 40GB uncompressed) he wanted to use to make a 5' x 11' print. Over two weeks in the making, Avanish spent 30+ hours adding finishing touches in the end. Congratulations, it looks great. You could probably sell these to Star Wars fanatics for a good chunk of change. It's certainly better than my Last Supper was. Which, incidentally, didn't agree with me and came back up in the middle of the night.

A ton more pictures, including some closeups, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Star Wars Last Supper Painting Is Made From Like Trillions of Captures From The Movies "

Mar 12 2008 DIY Vinyl Video Game Cabinet Is Cute

The SOOPA is a little $30 vinyl arcade cabinet that you get to decorate yourself. "The 7 inch vinyl toy can be customized with paint, markers, pencils, ink and more. Packaged with each SOOPA vinyl toy are stickers that you can also use to design a screen, marquee, and wrapping cabinet art. Pay homage to your favorite arcade games or make up new ones." The cabinet looks pretty much identical to this one, so you can get an idea of what it's possible to create. I'm gonna get really creative and design the sweetest video game known to man. I'm thinking something about a plumber dressed in red that has to save a damsel in distress from a sexually frustrated ape. I'm going to call it, um, Donkey Dong. The cabinet art will feature a primate waving his thingie around like he's crazy. Damn that sounds good. You know, my originality startles even me sometimes.

Another picture of the toy after the jump.

Continue Reading " DIY Vinyl Video Game Cabinet Is Cute "

Mar 12 2008 I Want: Transforming Flashlight/Machine Gun

This is a video from SHOTSHOW 2008 of a Magpul prototype that's a transforming flashlight/machine gun.

Looks like a flashlight -- walk your dog, take the garbage out, get the mail. If any problems occur, anything you need immediate action with, you can on target and go with it. It's a folding machine gun. It's very transformer-esque...Folds up into a little compact package. Big enough to put in your back pocket. Fits right in there, you go for your walk. Gets nasty -- get down to business.

I can't remember the last time I needed a folding machine gun to walk the dog or get the mail, but that dude has me convinced I've been living foolishly. I need one of those. Like real bad. What if it "gets nasty" and I'm unable to "get down to business"? That would suck. But in my defense I was thinking just the other day we need more machine guns that can fit in back pockets. But be careful not to confuse it for your wallet! A wallet is highly ineffective at killing attackers. And whipping out your machine gun to pay for a hot dog at 7-11 is a definite no-no.

Youtube

Thanks to Tyler, who doesn't need a folding machine gun because his fists are lethal weapons, for the tip

Mar 12 2008 LEGO Guide Features Every Set Ever Made

In celebration of LEGO's 50th anniversary the company is releasing a collector's guide that will contain every set ever made from 1958 to 2008. Which is about 8,000 sets. OH YEAH! Each will be categorized by year of production and will have a rating from 1 to 6 LEGO blocks depending on its rarity. The book is dropping in Germany in a few months for about $35, and it should make its way to North America later in the year. I for one can hardly wait to get my hands on a copy. All those delicious plastic models to feast my little eyes upon. Man I'm so excited I could shit a LEGO brick! Uh oh, that was no LEGO.

All Encompassing LEGO Collector's Guide [ohgizmo]

Mar 11 2008 Ecto-1 Subaru Outback Looks Really Good

Some guy pimped out his 2003 Subaru Outback to look like Ecto-1 from the Ghostbusters movies. As you can see it's got the Ghotsbusters emblem and some other decals on the side, along with flashing lights and high-tech gadgetry on top. He says the graphics set him back about $200, and the lightbars were $430 (damn!) apiece. I assume he stole the little satellite dish off a neighbor's roof. Just remember: IF THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, WHO YOU GONNA CALL? Well probably not this guy. He just modded a car, he probably doesn't know shit about busting ghosts.

One more picture after the jump.

Continue Reading " Ecto-1 Subaru Outback Looks Really Good "

Mar 11 2008 Porcupine Flashlight Is Sharp, Scary, Lethal

The K2 Porcupine is a tactical flashlight with a wicked sharp spiked bezel so you can maim and/or kill any would-be attackers.

Unlike ordinary tactical lights with crenellated bezel that can often inflict unnecessary harms to oneself, K2 features sharpened spikes around the bezel that protrude outward only when the spike protector is lowered. With the spikes protected when not needed, the fast turn threading allows the rapid retraction of the spike protector. These spikes are sharpened far more than those ordinary crenellated bezel light. Together with its powerful 70-lumen eye-blinding white light, the sharpened retractable spikes make K2 a powerful self defense tool.

The $129 flashlight runs on two CR-123A batteries and will give you about 60 minutes of light. You know, it seems like just yesterday I was attacking my roommate with a sharpened flashlight because I mistook him for a burglar. What Steve? That was yesterday? Sorry it's kind of hard to hear you through all those bandages.

K2 Porcupine Flashlight blinds attackers, then rips them to shreds [dvice]

Mar 11 2008 Orbit Wheels Are A Fad, Will Fail, I Got Some

Orbit Wheels are wheels that you put your feet through and then skate around sideways. They cost a not-too-bad $145 and mine just arrived. I'm going to take them for a spin and I'll give you the report when I'm back.

UPDATE: They were surprisingly fun. Unfortunately they were also unsurprisingly made fun of. A whole bus of middle-schoolers called me names so mean I can't repeat them here. A high-schooler purposefully tripped me and then tried to burn me with his cigarette. Then when I got home my dad told me I was no son of his and punched me in the eye. Verdict: Crying.

Orbit Wheels are Like Roller Blades, Just Less Fun [gizmodo]

Mar 11 2008 Surprise!: Aircar Can Both Fly And Drive

Here at Geekologie we've seen flying cars in the past, and here comes another. The Milner Aircar can be both flown and driven. The $450,000 vehicle is capable of going up to 200 mph at 25,000 ft and 85 mph at 0 ft. This is great and I definitely need one. That way on long trips when my wife starts asking "Are we there yet?" and screaming at me for going the wrong way I can just push her ejector seat button. "Later honey!" *click* - PSSSSSHHHOOOOOOOOW!! Then I'll do a barrel roll and take aim at her with my laser cannons. *peow, peow*

Several more pictures (of a car prototype) after the jump.

Continue Reading " Surprise!: Aircar Can Both Fly And Drive "

Mar 11 2008 Space Invader Coffee Table On Craigslist

Some guy made a Space Invader themed coffee table and is now selling it on Craigslist. He's asking $450, which is expensive. He has the list of materials he used on his website and apparently the thing cost him $415.59 to build. Which is also expensive. I'd be tempted to make one if I could do it for around $100. Maybe I can. The seller is getting rid of this table because he "had another clever idea for a coffee table and no room for two of them." Now the real question is "What the hell is this other awesome table he has up his sleeve?" Do you think it's going to be Zelda themed? Because man that would be AWE-to the-SOME. Possibly even more awesome than Zelda girl, just way flatter.

A couple more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Space Invader Coffee Table On Craigslist "

Mar 11 2008 Song Made With Only Sounds From Mac OSX

Well last week was the song made exclusively with sounds from Windows 98 and XP, and now comes the Mac version. Made with only sound effects from Mac OSX, it sounds like lots of der-ders, ding dings and clickity clicks. That said, it's kind of growing on me. Now I would like to take this time to open for discussion who made the better song -- the Windows or Mac user. Okay, discussion closed. And the winner is...they both wasted their time.

Youtube

Thanks to Jesse, who I give a big thumbs and a wink to, for the tip

Mar 11 2008 Uh-Oh: Nanobots To Take Over The World

Dr. Anirban Bandyopadhyah, of the National Institute of Materials Science in Tsukuba, Japan, has developed a chemical "brain" capable of controlling nanobots. This "brain", soon to be known by the few remaining humans not killed in the machine uprising as "Mother Brain" will control the bots responsible for the demise of humanity. The cave dwelling survivors of the apocalypse will regularly pray to Samus Aran that she return in all her hotness and destroy said brain to make the planet safe for humans once more.

Anyway, the two nanometer "brain" is made of 17 molecules of duroquinone, each considered a "logic device" and controlled by a center "control" molecule. By switching the control molecule in the center with a scanning tunneling microscope, the other 16 are switched based on the logical instructions received. There are over four billion combinations of outcome. At least three billion being "We're all going to die", and the other billion being "We're all going to die slowly."

Chemical brain controls nanobots [bbcnews]

Thanks to Justin, who may have to step in for Samus if things get out of hand, for the tip

Mar 11 2008 DIY Vacuum Tube iPod Amplifier Seems Legit

I'm a huge fan of DIY projects. Especially ones that begin by destroying something beautiful. Unfortunately this is not that kind of project. But it is a DIY iPod amplifier -- complete with vacuum tubes. Raise the roof everybody! Did I just say raise the roof? I meant somebody kill me for even thinking that. The unit costs around $150, and as the name implies, it comes as a kit you get to put together yourself (picture after the jump). It looks pretty simple. However if you're new to DIY projects you may want to start with the DIY megaphone. What you do is you cup your hands together like you're catching a football, hold them over your mouth and yell something really loud. Maybe something like "SORRY YOU DIDN'T WIN THAT BLOGGIE YOU SO RIGHTFULLY DESERVED MR. GEEKOLOGIE WRITER!"

Continue Reading " DIY Vacuum Tube iPod Amplifier Seems Legit "

Mar 10 2008 Geek Bling: Periodic Rings Are Elemental

These Periodic Rings from ITSNONAME (wtf?) are available in silver, gold, and platinum. Each features the corresponding metal's atomic number and weight and come in sizes 7, 8 and 9. Silver will set you back a paltry $205, gold (14K yellow) a staggering $2,200, and the platinum a holy shitting $6,500. Now I can think of a lot better ways to blow $6,500, and none of them include periodic table themed jewelry. Although one does include a drive across country with a one-legged hooker and a trunk full of drugs. Wait, that was a movie idea. No, no it wasn't. That is how I'd spend $6,500.

Two more pictures after the jump, including one of what it'd look like to get punched.

Continue Reading " Geek Bling: Periodic Rings Are Elemental "

Mar 10 2008 Wii Casemod Has 3D Mario, Voided Warranty

I always enjoy a good Mario-themed casemod, and this Wii is no exception. As you can see it's a handpainted case with a 3D Mario poking his head out of a black hole. That handsome little bastard. I can almost hear him saying, "It's-a me! Mario!" Which is a lot friendlier than "I'mma gonna keel you!", which is what he told me last night. Yeah, he barged in on me and Princess Peach getting tender (doing it). Still, I don't think it was fair all his rage was all directed towards me. It's not like Toad and Luigi weren't there.

One more of the other side, with warp-pipe Wiimote holder, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Wii Casemod Has 3D Mario, Voided Warranty "

Mar 10 2008 Maple-Bacon Lollipops Contain Both Maple Syrup And Bacon, Aren't Kosher

Maple Bacon Lollipops are maple sugar based pops with real pieces of "sustainable, organic, cured bacon." They come to us from the same great purveyors that brought us Absinthe Lollipops. They run $10 for 4, $24 for 12, and $52 for 36. Apparently they're the "perfect gift for the sweet-toothed pork aficionado in your life." Unfortunately, there is no sweet-toothed pork lover in my life. Just a buck-toothed porker.

Product Site

Mar 10 2008 Perfume Is Nasty, Gross, Nasty, Not The Worst We've Seen, Well, That's Debatable

Sécrétions Magnifiques is a scent from odor maker Libre D'Orange. And let me tell you, it probably won't be a treat for the ol' olfactory system. That's right, the cologne was designed to smell like a rotting corpse! Just kidding, it's a combination of blood, sweat, saliva and sperm. Which is pretty nasty. In the category of bad scents it's right up there with German Poontang Juice. A 50mL bottle will set you back about $76 and sounds like one of the worst wastes of money ever. I don't even know what else to say, except I paid extra for the overnight shipping option.

Smells Like Teen Spirit [divinecaroline]

Thanks to Patricio, who doesn't smell like complete ass, for the tip

Mar 10 2008 Live Underwater: Dive Tanks Recycle Oxygen

The Poseidon Mk IV Discovery is a dive tank that recycles oxygen, so you can stay underwater long enough to fall in love with a mermaid and produce mutant children. Awesome, I know. Just don't go settling for a manatee like I did. The system works through the use of C02 scrubbers and oxygen cells powered via lithium-ion battery. Unfortunately the unit does not protect divers from the bends. Or the runs. Which, in my case, are a serious problem.

Mk IV Discovery rebreather recycles oxygen for longer diving [dvice]

Mar 10 2008 The iStraw Is Horribly Named But Cleans Water As You Drink It So You Won't Get Sick

The iStraw, thanks to special micro-filtration technology, makes drinking water from the toilet safer than ever. Available for $40 from ThinkGeek, the straw can filter about 130 gallons and "reduces up to 99.99999% of all waterborne bacteria." Wow, that's a lot of 9's! You can use it to suck directly from streams and lakes, but brackish and turbid water are highly not recommended. The iStraw looks like a magic wand and makes the perfect addition to an outdoor survival kit. I definitely just ordered a few for myself in case of an emergency. My girlfriend is going to have to take her chances with a regular straw. It's not that I don't love her, it's just that, well, okay maybe I don't. I mean I did spend her birthday at a stripclub. And not the one where she works at either.

Germaphobes Rejoice, The iStraw is Here [albotas]

Mar 10 2008 Microsoft MySong Generates Music To Singing, Is Questionable, I Still Want

MySong is a program from Microsoft Research that puts instrumental music to your singing. Now I'm not going to bore you with all the details of how it does that or anything, just know that if you have a mouth and tongue, you're basically going to be a famous musician. You just sing into your microphone, and presto, the program adds musical accompaniment. No need to pay musicians to play actual instruments, their days are numbered! That being said, the program seems to lay down the same boring-ass piano riff no matter what you sing. Even after adjusting the "Happy Factor" control down to a minimum and cranking up "Jazz Factor", the resulting song still smells like a cat's ass. To the program's credit though, the people demoing are clearly no-talent assclowns.

NOTE: Skip to about 2:45 in the video for the start of the demos, hit the link to read more about how the program works.

MySong, from Microsoft Research, makes singing sound a lot better than it really is [istartedsomething]

Thanks to Scott, who doesn't need a program to produce songs that make women swoon, for the tip

Mar 10 2008 KissPhone Replicates Your Kiss For The Person You're Talking To, Looks Horrible

George Koussouros is a freelance inventor, and he developed the KissPhone.

The KissPhone detects percussion speed, pressure, temperature, and sucking force of the lips, when you kiss it. An artificial mouth on the KissPhone receptor can reproduces same parameters. So the customer is able to...
...send or receive kiss from distance,
...leave or receive a kiss in answering machine,
...repeat the kiss saved on the phone or
...relay it to other people,
...download or upload kiss in the web
...receive kiss from a kiss bank as the one from Madonna or from an imaginary Hero!

Company captures market because of distinctive concept and keeps market because of associated services and accessories.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Damn, how have I been living without a KissPhone for so long?" And the answer, my friends, is not easily. Unfortunately they only work if the people on both ends each have one. So I'm going to have to buy two. I really think these may take my long-distance relationship to the next level. That next level being my girlfriend cheating on me.

Kiss Phone detects intensity of virtual kisses [slipperybrick]

A big thanks to Cygnus, who doesn't need kissy phones to keep the ladies happy, for the tip

Mar 7 2008 HERCULES Laser Sounds Powerful, I Guess

The HERCULES laser produces a beam that lasts 30 million billionths of a second and is believed to be the most intense light in the universe.

If you could hold a giant magnifying glass in space and focus all the sunlight shining toward Earth onto one grain of sand, that concentrated ray would approach the intensity of a new laser beam made in a University of Michigan laboratory. The record-setting beam measures 20 billion trillion watts per square centimeter. It contains 300 terawatts of power. That’s 300 times the capacity of the entire U.S. electricity grid. The laser beam's power is concentrated to a 1.3-micron speck about 100th the diameter of a human hair. A human hair is about 100 microns wide.

It is hoped the beam can be used to develop better forms of radiation treatment for cancer and explore the possibility of spontaneous matter generation (holy hellfire!). Now my buddy (who will remain anonymous but whose name is York) came up with an even better use for such a laser. Are you ready for it? Here it comes -- A 24 HOUR LASER LIGHT SHOW ON THE MOON! Wrap your brain around that one for a minute. This might very well be the turning point in world relations. Think about it -- all nations coming together to get high as shit and watch lasers on the freaking moon! Can you smell that? It’s world peace. Or maybe it’s the moon exploding. Either way it’s going to be a hell of a show.

HERCULES Laser is Most Intense Laser in the Universe, Almost as Powerful as the Death Star [gizmodo]

Mar 7 2008 London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries

I'm not a big fan of text-messaging while walking, but that's because I have the coordination of a newborn. Apparently a lot of people do it. And apparently a lot of people get hurt doing it (allegedly 1 in 10 London texters) . So now the city is starting to pad its lamp posts to prevent people from running into them while they're busy texting. I personally think this is a horrible idea. It makes the lampposts look stupid and prevents injuries to people who probably deserve it (and should learn a valuable lesson). You have to look where you're walking! Next they're going to start padding cars for people who walk and text-message. I say screw the padding, add sharp spikes to the poles. If you can't manage to look where you're walking then you deserve to lose all that blood.

A painful video after the jump if you forgot what it looks like when someone runs into a pole.

Continue Reading " London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries "

Mar 7 2008 Nintendo Shoe Allegedly Works, I Want Badly

This is a Nike with a Nintendo Entertainment System built it. Allegedly it works. And allegedly I want it really, really badly. I assume the system's output is on the opposite side, where it hooks up to your other shoe, which has a little LCD built in. Freaking sweet! Just imagine what they could fit into a shoe if they can put a Nintendo in there! Like, oh I don't know, a foot.

An NES crammed into a sneaker [dvice]

Mar 7 2008 Company Specializes In LEGO Weaponry

Brickarms is a company that specialized in custom LEGO weapons and minifigs. This picture is of all their regular weapons, sold as the 'Ultra Arsenal' Weapons Pack for $18. It includes the following:

* M1911 .45 Pistol * M23 Pistol * M23 SOCOM Pistol * PPK Spy Pistol * PPK Tactical Spy Pistol * M1A1 SMG * M4 Carbine * AK Assault Rifle * RPG Rocket Grenade * M67 Frag Grenades * M41A Pulse Rifle * Micro Uzi SMG * C96 Mauser 'Broomhandle' * SW500 Magnum Pistol * MP5 SMG * PSG1 Sniper Rifle * M47 Shotgun * M47 Tactical Shotgun * G36 Assault Rifle * MP40 SMG * M24 Steilhandgranate

If you don't need all of those then you can buy the guns individually for $1 apiece. There are also some other custom weapons and minifigs available. Be sure to check them out if you dig military themed LEGO. Unfortunately, according to the website:

Disclaimer: All BrickArms tiny toy weapons are made of solid ABS plastic, designed to be used with Lego toys. They cannot shoot bullets and cannot be made to fire bullets in any way. Again, they are a TOY! T-O-Y Toyee!

Shit, I need to learn to read before buying stuff online. Oh well, I stole the money from my wife anyway. And by I stole the money from my wife I mean I sold one of her kidneys on the black market.

Several more pictures of Brickarm minifigs after the jump.

Continue Reading " Company Specializes In LEGO Weaponry "

Mar 7 2008 World's Largest Air Vortex Cannon Blows Out Birthday Candles From 180 Feet

Erbert and Gerbert, the delicious sandwich making company, decided to celebrate their 20th birthday in the most traditional way possible -- by building the world's largest air vortex cannon to blow out birthday candles from 180 feet. They even use a smoke machine in conjunction with the cannon so you can see the awesome rings as they travel. Certainly seems way cooler than the way I spent my last birthday. I thought everyone had forgotten about it, and so I went out the bars and got tyrannosaurus wrecked by myself. But when I came home all my friends and family where there! Awesome right? Wrong. It was an intervention.

Worthwhile video of the cannon in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Air Vortex Cannon Blows Out Birthday Candles From 180 Feet "

Mar 7 2008 Trap Lightning In A Block And Make People Think You're Magical, Possibly Score A Girl

Lichtenberg figures look like trapped lightning and are actually "branching electric discharges that sometimes appear on the surface or the interior of insulating materials." Popular Science has a DIY page if you're interested in creating your own, or you can just buy them here and say you did it yourself. I'm just going to buy one, because me and electricity don't mix. And while it's debatable, you may be able to use one to convince the ladies you're a sorcerer or magician. Which, I've heard, works better than telling women you're a vampire/werewolf hybrid in order to get them in the sack. If they don't fall for it though just nonchalantly jam a butter knife into an electric socket. Sure it may kill you, but honestly you weren't going to get laid anyways.

Another picture of how to do it yourself, along with a MUST SEE video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Trap Lightning In A Block And Make People Think You're Magical, Possibly Score A Girl "

Mar 7 2008 Guy Makes Music Using Only Sounds From Microsoft Windows 98 & XP, It's Pretty Neat

This is a video of some music a guy made using only sound effects from Windows. The video is of the music playing in ModPlug Tracker, the program he used to put it all together. The music only lasts for 1:31, then he starts going through all the different sounds he used. I really like the first part of the song, because it sounds like a carnival. And everyone loves carnivals, well, except for the freak show and all the freaking clowns. Once I peaked behind a tent I shouldn't have and saw a bearded woman making out with the dog-faced boy. It was really disturbing. Then I went to play the game where you try to pop the balloons with darts, but I used them to stab my eyes out instead.

Youtube

Thanks to Derek, who regularly makes beautiful music with beautiful ladies, for the tip

Mar 7 2008 3-Way Chess Is Chess Made For 3 People

3-way chess is a chessboard on which three people can play. The same rules apply except for some slight variation on moves made through the center of the board. Apparently this particular game was bought in the Czech Republic. And you know what else you can buy in the Czech Republic don't you? Absinthe. Yeah, I tried making my own once but drinking it made me go blind in one eye for a couple days. Just like the time I pleasured myself for fourteen hours straight.

Hit the link for another picture, along with a link to an explanation of the game.

Continue Reading " 3-Way Chess Is Chess Made For 3 People "

Mar 6 2008 Scary: Brain Scanner Knows What You See

Soon computers will be able to know what you're looking at simply by reading your mind.

Scientists used a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine -- a real-time brain scanner -- to record the mental activity of a person looking at thousands of random pictures: people, animals, landscapes, objects, the stuff of everyday visual life. With those recordings the researchers built a computational model for predicting the mental patterns elicited by looking at any other photograph.

Wow, this is getting scary. Except for safety devices and video games, I'm afraid of the uses for this technology. I've been able to read minds for awhile now, and I've got to tell you, you don't always want to. Like right now the cat lying beside me is thinking about eating a bird. Which isn't so bad. But my roommate, who's playing Guitar Hero, is thinking about trying to mash the buttons with his pecker. Which is so bad, because it's my controller.

NOTE: I have no idea what the hell those pictures prove. I just posted them because that's what the other website had up. I think they might be Grateful Dead t-shirt designs.

Brain Scanner Can Tell What You're Looking At [wired]

Thanks to Billy Avenue, who is way cooler than a street, for the tip

Mar 6 2008 One String Willie Plays Guitar With One String

One String Willie is a recovering smack addict who used to turn tricks in a parked van to pay for his next fix. Not really, he's just some guy that likes playing a guitar with one string. I think his song is pretty impressive. You may not. But think about this -- if he's that good with just one string, imagine what he could do with, uh, half of one string. Not as much as a whole one? Really? Damn I hate fractions.

One String Willie [core77]

Mar 6 2008 Conceptual Parisian Building Is Super Green

The Anti-Smog Innovation Center is a conceptual building that was designed to reside on the Canal de L'Ourcq in Paris. It "would sport 2,700 solar panels as well as a titanium dioxide coating that would react with UV rays to break down smog." In addition, "a 148-foot-tall Wind Tower would convert the canal's breezes into energy." Well neato. How about you go ahead and build it Paris? The place could use a little cleaning up. Because my girlfriend and I visited once and our first impression of the city, after getting out of the airport, was of a mother letting her 4-year-old daughter shit on the sidewalk. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. It was so romantic.

A solar powered, wind using, smog killing fantasy building in Paris [dvice]

Mar 6 2008 Bee's Project Art Exhibit Detects Diseases

MOMA Online has an exhibit entitled Design and the Elastic Mind which is a bunch of different projects combining art and science. The Bee's Project is one of these. Basically it consists of a number of glass vessels with bees inside. Taking advantage of a bee's highly sophisticated sense of smell, they are trained to detect different diseases, from cancer to pregnancy (which, in my wife's case, IS a disease). If the bees sense a certain odor when a user blows into the device they will fly into a corresponding chamber, indicating the presence of whatever disease they've been trained to detect. Or if you have shit-breath then the bees all congregate in the bottom. You know, because you killed them all.

A couple more pictures and a link to the exhibit after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bee's Project Art Exhibit Detects Diseases "

Mar 6 2008 Princess Peach Collage Is Good, Confusing

We've featured Chris Lange's impressive Nintendo Power collages in the past, and here comes another of the Princess Peach variety. According to Chris, "This collage of Princess Peach resides in the office of an executive at Nintendo of America. I couldn't be more proud of this one." Well nice Chris, I bet someone paid a pretty penny for that. May I ask how much? No? Okay. Well may I ask why she's holding a turd?

Princess Peach Collage by Chris Lange [albotas]

Mar 6 2008 Apocalyptic Christian Video Game Is Wow

I've never heard of the Left Behind book series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, but that's because the only reading I do is on the back of cereal boxes. This game, LEFT BEHIND: Tribulation Forces is based on said books. You "combat the Antichrist’s forces on two battle fronts - physical & spiritual warfare: Use the power of prayer and worship to resist spiritual influences and defend against their physical attacks." Apparently you run around trying to convert non-believers or mowing them down with machine guns. Pretty awesome premise if you ask me. Reminds me of the time I had to pistol whip a Burger King employee for not accepting Monopoly money. I told him the Lord was totally cool with it and even quoted some scripture, "And Jesus said to his disciples: the Geekologie writer shall payeth for thine Spicy CHICK'N CRISP Sandwich with whatever payment he seeth fit." The little jerk didn't believe me, and that's when God told me to get physical.

Note: You only need to watch the first minute of the video to get the premise, and there's a great quote at 0:27.

Left Behind [gametrailers]

Thanks to Nathaniel, who gets straight A's in being cool, for the tip

Mar 6 2008 Keyboard Offers Storage Underneath, My Liver Rejoices At A Place To Stash Airplane Bottles

Stashing airplane bottles at work is getting to be a hassle, and quite frankly the whole "up the rear" method is getting old (and probably wearing my O-ring out). Well now all my problems have been solved thanks to the Keyboard Organizer. It's a keyboard with a storage compartment underneath and retails for $50.

Key Benefits

*Low Cost
*Organizes the desk
*Makes use of space
*Quality touch and feel
*Blister Packed
*1 year return to base (BNI) warranty

Okay, when "Blister Packed" (aka clam shelled) is a key benefit of your product it's a sign you need to go ahead and fire the entire marketing department. Who in the hell likes blister packs? Are these people freaking crazy? The damn thing probably wouldn't fit any airplane bottles anyway. Hold on, phone.

Sorry about that, it was my girlfriend. She was all excited about a storage keyboard she just bought because it comes blister packed. I'm going to cut her brake lines when she comes home for lunch.

PS2 Keyboard And Desktop Organizer [nerdapproved]

Mar 6 2008 Zelda Girl Seeking Link On Craigslist, I'm In

IMAGE REMOVED AT REQUEST OF OWNER

Some girl who says she looks like Princess Zelda is looking for her soulmate Link on Craigslist.

Hi, I know thats strange one. I want a guy who looks like link. from the game. I thought to myself that I might as well be honest. I look like zelda, so why not ask for it? who knows.. I know theres a guy like that. So if you think you look like link, the blonde skater cut, and light eyes look email me. Im a simple chick who loves zelda. I know thats a corney one to ask but heck we might as well be honest as to what we like? am I right? I want a guy like that and a guy who is romantic and believes in chilvary, love, old school ways, and doesnt have a problem with european culture. Thanks a bunch!!! If I like you, and you have a pic, ill email you back. PS I WILL NOT RESPOND to guys without FACE SHOTS. period. Thankyou for understanding. Im not a body chick. more a face and Please only guys 30 and below. And please do not email me rude comments... this world has too many jerks and I delete them and report to the authorities. Its extreme I know But please have respect.

Wow, I'm in love. Just look at those ears. You think they're real? I hope so. My only question is what Link she's looking for. Because if she's looking for the original Legend of Zelda Link then I'm so in. I'm a dead ringer for a little pixelated turd in a green tunic. But if she's looking for more of an Ocarina of Time Link then I'm screwed. And if she's looking for wolf Link from Twilight Princess then she's really f***ed in the head.

Princess Zelda Is Looking For Link On Craigslist [albotas]

Mar 5 2008 $500,000 Watch Isn't Worth It, God I'm Poor

The Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon ZERO-G El Primero watch has a long name, costs $500,000, and I don't get it.

In a veritable technical revolution, ZENITH Manufacture has devised the Zero-G system, in other words zero gravity! The gyroscope cage Tourbillon comprises an escapement mounted on cardan joints rather like marine chronometers. The instrument, which is sensitive to changes of position, is kept in a constant horizontal position, thereby ensuring optimal amplitude for the spiral balance-wheel. Coordination is provided by an invention patented by ZENITH: a second gear train is the reference point for the swinging of the escapement axles and a differential gear with inverter compensates all the relative movements of the framework. The Zero-G Tourbillon, whose cage alone comprises 166 of the 294 parts that make up the device, 10 conical geared wheels with spiral teeth and 6 ball-bearings, was developed from the El Primero automatic caliber that beats at the record speed of 36,000 vibrations an hour.

Did that make any sense? I didn't actually bother reading past the part the word "veritable", but that's because I knew I wouldn't understand what they were talking about. So someone give it to me straight -- does this watch allow you to travel back in time or not? Because if the answer is not then it's a freaking ripoff. Besides, what sort of a-hole with $500,000 to spend on a watch needs to know what time it is anyway?

Tourbillon Wrist Watch [e-potpourri]

Thanks to Patricio, who actually wears a million dollar watch, for the tip

Mar 5 2008 Wooden Head Knife-Block Is Pretty Disturbing

Here at Geekologie we've seen weird and disturbing knife-blocks in the past. Well to top them all is this prototype by Maarteen Baas. As you can see it's a man's head -- but with a bunch of damn knives sticking out of it. When my wife sees this she'll probably think it's funny and will want one painted to look like me. And that, my friends, is why I'm packing my bags and getting the f*** out of here. That crazyass is going to kill me.

Head Knife-Block [notcot]

Mar 5 2008 Brass Knuckles Chair Won't Beat Your Ass

Not too long ago we posted the brass knuckle inspired coffee mug, and now we're posting the perfect seat to complement said drink receptacle. The Brass Knuckle Chair looks tough on the outside, but is actually quite comfortable on the inside. Plus it has wheels. Available for an undisclosed amount, the chair features vicious styling and really lets your coworkers know you're a badass mofo. Well, as long as you don't have the rest of your cubicle decorated with unicorn posters and those long-haired troll dolls. Then you'd be sending mixed signals. Like that chick at the laundromat last night. From the looks she was giving me I thought it was pretty obvious she wanted me to rummage through her dryer and sniff the undergarments. Wrong! She screamed and called the police.

Brass Knuckle Chair Punches Your Butt With Comfort [gizmodo]

Thanks again to Shawn, who doesn't need brass knuckles to be tough, for the tip

Mar 5 2008 Controller Pillows Guarantee Good Dreams

These 20" x 20" pillows are printed with all your favorite video game controllers and cost $40 apiece. They've even got the new controllers, like the Wiimote. I remember my 3rd grade teacher once told me if you think about something a lot before bed, then you stand a better chance of dreaming about it. So maybe these could aid in dreaming about awesome video games, you never know. What I do know is that sleeping on an open chemistry textbook doesn't mean you'll know all the information when you wake up. Talk about bombing a test. I tried to proposition the teacher for a better grade, but he sent me to the principal's office. I tried to proposition the principal to not suspend me, but he did it anyways. I'm an awful whore.

video game controller pillows: sweet dreams [technabob]

Thanks to Melissa, who I can only hope to dream about at night, for the tip

Mar 5 2008 9-Year Old Tears Up Guitar Hero III On Expert, Puts My Untalented Children To Shame

This is a video of 9-year old Ben tearing up Through the Fire and Flames for Guitar Hero III on expert. His little fingers move so fast. Just imagine how well he'd work on my child-labor powered assembly line. I bet he could really ramp up my production numbers. Don't get a big head though Ben, just because you can rock some Guitar Hero doesn't mean you're better than my kids. No sir. They're talented in other ways. Take my youngest son, Jimmy Jimereeno for instance. He sucks at video games but he can pick his nose. Yeah, and eat it. He's up there with the best of them. And not only that, he's not limited to his own nostrils. Just the other day I saw him jamming his chubby little finger up the dog's nose. Great kid, lots of talent.

Youtube

Thanks to Tim, who can play Guitar Hero blindfolded and with one arm tied behind his back, for the tip

Mar 5 2008 Quantum Sleeper Bed Protects From Chemical Attacks, Natural Disasters And Kidnappers

The Quantum Sleeper is essentially a saferoom built around a bed. It comes packed with all the following features:

1.25" Polycarbonate Bulletproof Plating/Shielding, Bio-Chemical Filtered Ventilation, Rebreather, Control Panel Mode Selection (i.e., Basic System Ops., Intruder Setting, Energy Status, Lock Down, etc.), Cover & Door Actuators w/ Emergency Release, One way see through head cover (reflective mirror on 2 sides and front), Safety Features (Proximity Sensor, O2 Sensor, Smoke Det., Motion Det. Ect,), Emergency Communication system (Cellular, Short-wave Radio, CB etc.), Audio Amplifier (Amplify sound from outside unit), Air/Water Tight Sealing, External Override Key Pad & Remote Control, Battery Backup Power, Toiletry system

Wow, looks like they've got all the bases covered for overprotective parents and people who are afraid of everything. Too bad I saw that movie Panic Room with Jodie Foster and she was totally not hot. Completely turned me off to panic and safe rooms. However this bed does come with options for a microwave and refrigerator. Make sure to add The Rack and then you might have something worth investing in. Unfortunately models start at over $100,000 -- so chances are you'll just have to die instead.

Product Site

Thanks to Karolyn, who doesn't need one of these because she's a certified ass-kicking machine, for the tip

Mar 5 2008 Gameboy Survives Bombing, Still Works

What you see is a Gameboy that survived a barracks bombing during the Gulf War and currently resides at the Nintendo World Store in NYC. As is evident by the Tetris screen, it still works! Now that, my friends, is quality. This clearly proves beyond a shadow of a doubt one of my most recent theories -- that Gameboys really do save lives. Okay, so maybe it doesn't prove that at all. But it does prove that Tetris was an awesome freaking game doesn't it? Yes, it most certainly does that.

Video of the unit in action after the jump.

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Mar 5 2008 Singing and Moving Clown Urinal Makes Me Want To Just Pee On The Wall Instead

So I wake up this morning and what do I find in my inbox? A link to a singing clown urinal in Osaka, Japan. Basically you walk up to the sucker and he starts singing and moving up and down the wall while you try to pee in his mouth. WTF!? What are we teaching the youth these days? This does not lessen my fear of clowns one bit. It was bad enough before I knew the sick bastards liked drinking urine. He won't be singing for long though. Not after somebody decides to sit there and hit him with a #2.

Crazy Singing Clown Urinal Makes Us Go HAHAHAARRGHHSTOPDOINGTHAT! [gizmodo]

Thanks to Shawn and Meredith, who both hates clowns as much as Anticlown Media does, for the tips

Mar 4 2008 Dungeons And Dragons Co-Creator Dies

Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, has passed away. He and Dave Arneson developed the game in 1974. I will remember him best for keeping me safe from the evils of sex during my teenage years. He is survived by his wife and six children. And while officials assert his death was the result of long-declining health conditions, I suspect a rogue dwarf was involved. Seriously though, he will be missed.

RIP Gary Gygax (1938-2008)

Gary Gygax, Dungeons & Dragons creator, dies [cnn]

Thanks to Alan, who is thankfully still alive, for the tip

Mar 4 2008 Minivan Is Mega Fun, Jet Engine Powered

This Dodge Caravan isn’t your standard stock vehicle. No sir -- this bad boy is packing a jet engine. It does an 1/8 mile in 7.65 seconds and is way cooler than the van my mom used to drive me to school in. It even has a mechanism that opens the window and positions the jet engine out the back when you're ready for takeoff (see second video). The rest of the time you can drive around like it doesn't have a freaking jet engine in the back. Although why you'd ever do that is a mystery to me. As my girlfriend likes to say when she's standing on top of a stool at the bar and waving her penis around like a helicopter -- "If you've got it, flaunt it."

Three videos of the van in action after the jump.

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Mar 4 2008 UV Light Kills Germs, Chance Of Being Normal

This handheld UV scanner costs $30 and runs on 4 AAA batteries. You wave it over an object you're going to touch and it kills 99.9% of germs. But I've got news for you -- it's that 0.01% of germs that'll kill you. No, seriously -- those are the ones that are so tough nothing can faze them. It's actually funny that I found this online because an ex-neighbor of mine had one of these and swore by it. He wouldn't touch anything without blasting it with UV first. So you know what I did? I coughed all over the back of the handle when he was out of the room. And then you know what he did? He died. Yeah, apparently he had some sort of disease that made regular germs fatal. Oops. I feel really bad too because the couple that bought his house are a-holes who I can't stand and they don't even keep the yard looking nice.

Handheld Disinfecting UV Scanner [ohgizmo]

Mar 4 2008 R2-D2 Case Mod Looks Pretty Good, I'd Hit It

This is a computer case cleverly disguised as everyone's favorite trashcan shaped robot friend R2-D2. As you may very well imagine, inside are all the typical components of a computer. But the outside... The outside looks like R2! Whee! "Hey R2, how you doing little buddy?" *bangs firmly on R2's head with knuckles* "R2 -- Your hard drive just fell out! Do you want me to perform emergency robotic surgery and reattach the device? What do you mean I hit you too hard? You know I love you. OOOOWWW! Quit shocking me you little asshole." *Kicks the shit out of R2 until he's mangled and badly dented*

And that, my friends, is how not to become a Jedi.

Several more pictures from different angles after the jump.

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Mar 4 2008 Machine Gun Cuts Down Tree, Sets It On Fire

From time to time I look up from drowning my sorrows in beer and liquor at the bar to see what's on the television. And this is one thing I happened to see: An episode of Mythbusters where they tested the myth of being able to cut down a tree using a gun. They started with little machine guns (which all failed), and finally moved on to this behemoth -- the Dillon M134D Gatlin Gun. At 3,000 rounds per minute the gun fells the tree in 45 seconds -- AND sets it on fire. AWESOME! Plus Kari was the one shooting it, and I have a crush on her. So it was extra hot for me, like the leftover curry I had for breakfast. Which, just like Kari, made my heart burn.

Worthwhile video of the gun in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Machine Gun Cuts Down Tree, Sets It On Fire "

Mar 4 2008 Handcuff Watch Looks Alright, Fetishy

Luis Berumen's ZeroPointZero concept watch is made from a pair of handcuffs. I like it. Not sure if I could rock it to work, but it'd certainly come in handy sometimes. After all, there's nothing worse than losing track of time when you're cuffed to the bed and your significant other is beating you with a riding crop. Now I'm not totally sure how the time is displayed, but I think the one in the picture may be showing 10:10. Of course I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. Like the time I said "I do" in front of that priest. Huge mistake.

Luis Berumen's ZeroPointZero Watch Concept - The Handcuff Inspired Fetishistic Timepiece [tfts]

Thanks to Andrew, who is cool in my book, for the tip

Mar 4 2008 Damnit!: Fake Ferrari Car Ring Busted In Italy

Italian police recently accused 15 people of building and selling fake Ferraris and confiscated 21 cars (14 of which were already sold). Apparently the cars were going for way cheap -- around 20,000 euros (a paltry $30,400).

Car body workers who police called "very able" cobbled together mostly fake parts and a few original components. They used body parts from other makes of automobiles, such as chassis, roofs, hoods, trunks and doors.

"Very able" indeed. How in the hell do you take pieces off of other cars and make them look like a Ferraris? I reckon we're talking kit cars here. Like putting a Ferrari looking body on a 1985 Pontiac Fiero. That being said, I'm pissed those damn police confiscated my car. I had already paid for that thing. Oh well, I just hope the Lame-oborghini ring doesn't get busted or I'll really be screwed.

Pssst! Want to buy a fake Ferrari? [yahoonews]

Thanks to Delphine, who owns several of the real deal, for the tip

Mar 4 2008 Little Boy Calls Himself 'Magneto Man', Breaks Computers, Is Proud, Thinks He's Famous

Joe Falciatano III (of the Falciatano dynasty) is 12-years old and has broken 12 computers in his school's computer lab. They thought it had something to do with magnetism, but it's now believed to be a static issue related to his over-insulated shoes. Personally, I think it's because his mom banged Magneto while the X-Men were on vacation. That's just my theory though (which is correct). He even calls himself "Magneto Man", despite being 12-years old and unable to produce facial hair. Finally some brainiac, whose intelligence is undoubtedly up there with the likes of Einstein, suggested he wear an anti-static wrist strap. Lo and behold the problems stopped! Now, call me crazy, but why did it take 12 broken computers to finally get the kid to wear a freaking wrist strap? Wow, computer lab teacher. Wow. If a kid broke one computer in my lab they'd be wearing a lot more than a wrist strap. Namely a size 12 Puma up their ass. I love kids.

Video report after the jump.

Continue Reading " Little Boy Calls Himself 'Magneto Man', Breaks Computers, Is Proud, Thinks He's Famous "

Mar 3 2008 Phun Physics Combines Fun And Physics

Phun is a 2D physics environment where you can build/destroy and otherwise have a jolly good time with all sorts of objects (including your own). It was programmed by Emil Ernerfeldt (awesome name) of Umeå University for his CS thesis. It really is awesome and the perfect way to piss away several days at work. There's a video demonstration after the jump and you can go here to download the software for free as long as you don't use it commercially. Anybody interested in purchasing a copy of this software should contact me directly.

Video and another link to the free download after the jump.

Continue Reading " Phun Physics Combines Fun And Physics "

Mar 3 2008 Man Gives Wife Steampunk Mac For Wedding

Dave Veloz built this sweet little steampunk Mac Mini for his wife-to-be and give it to her for their wedding. Doesn't it look good? It's so heartwarming to know there are still people in the world who care about their significant other enough to do/make things for them. It's just so damn romantic. Almost as romantic as the gift I gave my wife on the day of our wedding. Yep, beat an unidentified VD from the stripper at the bachelor party, Mr. Steampunk Mac Mini. Oooh, burned! Tell your wife to call me when she's looking for a man who really knows how to treat his lady.

A bunch more of the beautiful computer after the jump.

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Mar 3 2008 Rotating Home Theater Is Riciculous, I Want

This home theater system has a 16-foot motorized circle in the middle on which the front row of chairs is attached. The idea behind the rotation is that when you're not watching something on the screen, the room should still be able to be used for chatting or drinking champagne and shooting foxes or whatever the hell it is rich people do. I call shenanigans though. If you check out the other picture after the jump, if the front row is rotated around, all you're facing is two other chairs and the freaking door. What's the purpose of that? Let's be honest -- anybody with the money for a rotating home theater doesn't need for it to double as some other room. You can just have more rooms built. This person just wanted a damn rotating platform in their house and couldn't come up with a better excuse.

One more picture after the jump.

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Mar 3 2008 Man Mods Car Into Wicked X-Wing Fighter

Some guy in California modded his Honda del Sol into Luke's X-Wing Fighter from Star Wars: A New Hope. As you can see it's got R2 in the trunk, some nice graphics work (burns, Rebel insignia), and laser blasters on the car doors. I swear if you squint your eyes, shake your head and punch yourself in the groin at the same time it really does look like a '94 Honda del Sol with a trashcan coming out of the trunk. In all honestly though, I really do like it and think the guy did a great job. It certainly turned out better than my Ford Taurus X-Wing mod. Yeah, I was going for the look of the fighter when it was in the Dagobah Swamp, so I drove it into a lake. I haven't seen it in awhile, but a catfish I met at the bar told me it looks great down there.

Honda del Sol mod [notcot]

Mar 3 2008 I'm Sold: Smencils Are Scented Pencils

Remember the Mr. Sketch (great name) Scented Markers that first introduced you to the wonderful world of huffing? I sure do. Damn that grape was out of this world. Well, if you loved them as much as I did, you know about the risk of accidentally marking on your nose and getting pegged as a huffer. Enter Smencils -- the pencil version of scented markers. They cost $10 for a pack of ten different scents, and are totally worth it. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to buy some, but it does mean I'll steal some and rubber cement them up my nose.

Product Page

Thanks to Kelly, who always smells great, for the tip

Mar 3 2008 Wrong, Wrong, Wrong: Fetish Birdo Costume

Remember Super Mario Bros. 2? Remember the Birdos, those egg spitting bosses? Yeah, I remember them too. But not like this. This is not definitely not the way I remember the Birdos of my childhood. Now I've seen a lot of sick things in my day, and I've even done a few, but NEVER EVER HAVE I EVER asked anyone to dress up like a Super Mario Bros. boss in order to get my rocks off I only asked my girlfriend to do the Bowser thing once, and I swear I felt bad afterwards.

Fettish Birdo Is The Weirdest Thing I've Seen All Day [albotas]

Mar 3 2008 Apartment Building With Hydroponic Gardens

There's a new apartment complex going up in Wuhan, China. Big deal you say? Well what if I told you that each apartment includes a 100-square-foot trellised hydroponic garden? Now I know what you're thinking -- "Yes, weed!" And you are correct. Indeed, all the weed you need. No but seriously, you're supposed to grow vegetables and stuff like that. Although that girl in the picture does look kind of high. And kind of like a ghost. So you can count me out. No number of hydroponic gardens is enough to get into a haunted apartment complex. Am I right? High five!

An apartment building with private hydroponic gardens [dvice]

Mar 3 2008 Curved iMac Concept Is Curved, Conceptual

The iMac iView is a conceptual product design by Nuno Teixeira. As you can see it's a curved iMac. It looks incredibly similar to a bad idea. But it does have one saving grace - a second screen on the back (picture after the jump). That way your office wall (long left out of computing activities) can feel included in the experience. Or if your computer doesn't back up to a wall, then it provides a great way for your coworkers to know just what porn/non-work related sites you visit all day long. Awesome, I know. But seriously, I think many of you just don't understand the usefulness of this monitor for someone like me -- someone with EYES IN THE BACK OF THEIR HEAD. What do you mean that wouldn't help me see the monitor? Sure it would. The monitor has another screen on the back and my head has eyes on the back. Thusly, according to my most recent scientific calculations, I'm a stupid asshat.

Picture of the back after the jump.

Continue Reading " Curved iMac Concept Is Curved, Conceptual "