Jan 31 2008 Life Hearts Shirt Is Zelda-ish, Light Up
The 8-Bit Dynamic Life Shirts From ThinkGeek remind me of playing Zelda and cost $25 apiece (but you're going to need two). When you're far away from your lady/man friend wearing the other shirt your hearts deplete to 2 1/2. When you come within 2 meters of your special someone your meter goes back to a full 6 hearts. Which sure as hell isn't enough to beat Ganon unless you have a bunch of red potions hidden somewhere. Sadly, I don't have anyone to give my matching shirt to. But thankfully ThinkGeek also sells a $12 transmitter that will set your shirt off when you near it. Just set it close to something you love and TA-DA!, you're still lonely. I'm gonna set mine next to the ice cream because *sniffle* it's all I have in the world.
Another picture and a video of the shirts in action after the jump. Warning: Major geek alert.
Continue Reading " Life Hearts Shirt Is Zelda-ish, Light Up "
Jan 31 2008 Hitch Hands Are Utterly Ridiculous, OMG
I know what you're thinking -- there's no way a product can top the swinging testicles in the "stupid truck accessories" department. Well making a valiant effort is the Hitch Hand. It's a $40 hand that mounts on your truck hitch. You can form it to make such hilarious gestures as "the finger" and "the shocker". Oh my god if I had been old enough to drive in 8th grade this thing would have been the shit.
Hitch Hands Website complete with dumb ass questions section
Thanks to Kelly, who knows a classy product when she sees one, for the tip
Jan 31 2008 Stop Being Spied On: The Camera Detector
Tired of the government spying on you? Tired of your perverted neighbor spying on you? Well put an end to it with the $25 Hidden Camera Detector from ThinkGeek.
When a wireless camera is detected, an LED light flickers and an audible alarm sounds. Advanced circuitry reduces false alarms from background interference and a sensitive tuner allows you to automatically scan variable distances and channels. The unit detects frequencies from 50MHz to 3GHz.
There you have it. Not bad for $25. I might actually get one. I know my girlfriend is spying on me. She's afraid she's going to catch me with another woman. And I'm afraid she's going to catch me prancing around in her lingerie singing Celine Dion.
Thanks to Melissa, who can spy on me any day, for the tip.
Jan 31 2008 Blow Up Mouse Blows Up, Might Pop
If you have absolutely no room to pack a mouse when you're on the go maybe you should consider this here blow up mouse. As you can see it's inflatable. It's called the Jelly Click mouse, but isn't strawberry or grape flavored and tastes like shit on toast. It's also conceptual. You know what it reminds me of? My girlfriend. You know, because she's conceptual. Not really, I actually have one. She's just blow-up like this mouse. And doubles as a pool float. Screw water wings, I'm a big boy now.
The Jelly Click Mouse [newlaunches]
Jan 31 2008 Buy This Computer And I Will Hunt You Down
Zeus Computers, which I'm pretty sure was a company set up to steal money from stupid rich people, is selling two ridiculously priced ridiculous computers. The first one is platinum and is studded with diamonds to resemble constellations. It is stupid and costs about $750,000. The second computer, priced at a modest $560,000 is gold with diamond accents. What kind of computer bang do you get for that buck?
Intel’s 3GHz E6850 Core 2 Duo CPU, 2GB of DDR 2 memory and a whopping 1TB hard drive. Zeus clearly hasn’t made its mind up over which format will win the HD war, so it includes a dual Blu-ray/HD DVD drive. The PC runs on Windows Vista, Ultimate edition of course, and ships with a 24in 1920 x 1200 resolution monitor.
Pretty impressive huh? Nope, it's not. I swear if anybody buys one of these I will hack the company's database, get the customer's information, hunt them down and steal their computer. Then I'll do something sensible with the machine, like melt it down and make a wicked set of grillz. Then I can finally make the video for my rap song. It's called I Love Dem Gadget N Gizmo Hoes.
Is this the world's most expensive desktop PC? [registerhardware]
Thanks to mastermindunknown, who doesn't know whose plan this was, for the tip
Jan 31 2008 Breakfast Time Gaming: Tic Tac Toast
Mmm, toast. So simple, so bready, so delicious. And so fun to play with thanks to the Tic Tac Toast stamper! All you do is press the mold into your bread, toast it, and presto - tic tac toast. Whee! Screw boring X's and O's, the best part about this modern miracle is you get to choose what condiments to play with. As you can see from the picture, you can even play with, uh, chewed gum and pieces of raw meat. Hell yes, winner gets food poisoning.
Tic Tac Toast, Helping You Play With Your Food [laughingsquid]
Thanks to Sebastian, Tic Tac Toe champion of the galaxy, for the tip
Jan 31 2008 For The Ladies: Sweet Doggie Bags!
Now these are some of the sweetest doggie bags I've ever seen. They're little dachshunds! How cuuute. Precious actually. Except for the eyes. I'm thinking they should have gone with googly eyes instead of the X eyes. They come in black, brown, and red and will set you back a staggering $250. Of course you could probably sew your own together for far cheaper. This would make a great gift to get your special lady for Valentine's *wink, wink*. What could be better than a little wiener dog purse? Well, besides a real dog. Just be careful and don't buy them from the guy on the street corner that sells them out of his jacket. Because I bought a miniature schnauzer from him and it turned out to be a sewer rat. I tried to return it and the dude just stabbed me.
Two more pictures of the bag after the jump.
Jan 30 2008 Hula Chair Is 5% Exercise, 95% Ridiculous
The Hula Chair has been out for a couple years, but I'd never seen it. And it's ridiculous. It's a chair that moves in a circle while you sit in it, and it's supposed to be great exercise for your abs. It's also supposed to do a bunch of other good stuff for you (it better for $250 plus $70 shipping).
Wake up naturally in the morning without coffee or unhealthy energy drinks! Experience better overall health with our patented Hula Chair. This modern miracle combines the best of ancient traditional Chinese medicine with 21st century space-age technology. Improve your balance and coordination as it gently aligns your spine and improves blood circulation.
21st century space-age technology? What in the hell is space age about a chair with a motor attached to the seat? Whoever works in the marketing department and writes that copy is a crazy person. "Modern miracle?" WTF?!
A 100% MUST, MUST, MUST SEE INFOMERCIAL FOR SIMILAR HAWAII CHAIR AFTER THE JUMP.
Continue Reading " Hula Chair Is 5% Exercise, 95% Ridiculous "
Jan 30 2008 Boy Makes Own Halo Armor, It Is Awesome
There's a bunch of videos on Youtube of people that have made their own Halo armor, and this one is classic. It was made out of cardboard by a boy named Ashley. It is awesome. He says it's a work in progress so I assume he's going to paint it or something. He also mentions something about molding them eventually. I must admit, he looks pretty badass. And by 'looks pretty badass' I mean you can see his mom cooking breakfast during the entire video.
Two more videos of cardboard armor made by 10-year-olds (the ones you play against online) after the jump.
Continue Reading " Boy Makes Own Halo Armor, It Is Awesome "
Jan 30 2008 Mold Your Mouse Into Any Shape You Want
Is your mouse not ergonomic enough? If you answered yes then here's the mouse for you. The Lite-On Technology Moldable Mouse is made from lightweight moldable clay covered by a nylon and polyurethane fabric. You mold it into the shape you want, slap on the buttons and scroll pad (which communicate with the device via radio) and you're good to go. The design was even good enough to win a Red Dot Design Award. I know I really need one -- I think I'm getting crappy tunnel from my non-ergonomic mouse. This would be great for people like me or anyone that was born with a lobster claw instead of an arm. And if you were born with a lobster claw instead of an arm I want to eat it.
Lite-On Technology Mouldable Mouse Offers Advanced Innovative Ergonomics [tfts]
Thanks to Melissa, who was born with angel wings, for the tip
Jan 30 2008 It's About Time: Pot Vending Machines
We posted another drug vending machine a little while ago, and now there's one made specifically for marijuana -- all thanks to Vincent Mehdizadeh, a Los Angeles medical-cannabis dispensary owner. The heavily armored machines dispense your medication in 1/8 and 1/4 ounce envelopes and require fingerprint and prepaid card verification in order to operate. 1/8 ounce packages go for about $40. The 24-hour machines were designed to provide "convenient access, lower prices, safety, and anonymity." Awesome, except they'll be stoners hanging around these things like flies waiting for people to use them.
A man who said he has been authorized to use medical marijuana as part of his anger management therapy said the vending machine's security measures would at least protect against illicit use of the drug.
However when his pot got stuck in the machine like a candy bar the man went bat-shit nuts and knocked the dispenser over, spilling skunky Baba Ghanoush Kush everywhere.
Pot vending machines take root in Las Angeles [msnbc]
Thanks to Ryan, who is both handsome and intelligent, for the tip
Jan 30 2008 Ball-Headed Robots Monitor Pollen Levels
Weathernews, a weather forecasting company out of Tokyo, is going to use these ball-shaped robots to monitor pollen levels this coming spring.
The so-called “Pollen Robots,” which weigh 1 kilogram (2.2 lbs) and measure 30 centimeters (1 ft) across, consist of a monitoring unit housed in a spherical styrofoam shell. A pair of eyes glow 5 different colors — white, blue, green, red and purple — to indicate the level of Japanese cedar and cypress pollen in the air.
There are going to be 200 of them across the country, each hung outside a volunteer's home. They will send data every minute to the company's headquarters, which will be used to update the online pollen maps they have available. I'm not sure what the proper protocol for a 'code purple' pollen day is, but my guess is running around in the streets waving your arms and screaming. Which, incidentally, is the same for a Godzilla attack.
Pollen Robots [pinktentacle]
Thanks as always to Melissa, who is only allergic to bad taste, for the tip
Jan 30 2008 Cord Isn't The Only Thing Lacking From Nyko's New Wireless Wii Nunchuck
Personally I've never had a problem with the cord attaching the Wii's nunchuk to the Wiimote, but I guess some people just can't stand having any cords. So if you don't want to wait for the wireless nunchuk that actually replaces your existing one you can get this mammoth. It's a wireless base you place the chuk in and wrap the cord around. It also has the added benefit of taking 2 AAA batteries. It costs $20 and I can't believe they actually decided to make it. I mean it's awful. Almost as awful as the hangover I'm nursing from last night's karaoke binge, but with less puking and swearing I'll never drink again.
Jan 30 2008 PX-3600: Thanks, It's Just What I Wanted!
While many of you probably got Wii's, PS3's or 360's for Christmas, my loving parents got me a, um, PX-3600. I know, I know, you're jealous. And rightfully so, this is a next generation console, and I have it now. The wicked PX-3600 comes with two old-school 9-pin controllers (one of which vibrates), and, well, that's about it. Thanks mom and dad! It's just what I wanted. Hey, the disk tray on top doesn't open. How am I supposed to put games in? What's that? All the games are built-in? Wow! Talk about future technology. I'm gonna start playing right now! post this on eBay immediately.
A picture of the system out of the box after the jump.
Continue Reading " PX-3600: Thanks, It's Just What I Wanted! "
Jan 29 2008 Welcome To Macintosh: The Documentary
Well it appears that 2008 is going to be the year of the Apple documentary. Last week I mentioned the upcoming MacHeads The Movie, and now comes Welcome To Macintosh. It looks a little less fanatical than MacHeads. There's a trailer and teaser out, but I could only find the teaser on Youtube, so I have it posted after the jump. The trailer is the good one though, so you'll have to follow the link on the next page to watch that sucker, but it's worth it. Best line in the whole video, from an Apple employee:
The people on the outside think that it's like this wonderful World of Oz or Disney going on and all of us are just all these brilliant, amazing, happy people and like, it's not, it's like a sausage factory man -- you really don't want to know how this stuff happens.
Oh my god! He said Apple was a sausage factory! I can't believe it. I'm totally pulling the job application I submitted. I can't take a job in that kind of environment. It'd be like the college party I went to last weekend. Tons of dudes, no chicks -- a total sausage factory. Way suck.
The teaser video after the jump. Hit the link at the bottom to see the trailer (with sausage factory comparison).
Jan 29 2008 NEC Flask Phones Contain Delicious Fuel
Want a see-through phone? Do you want it to run on liquid fuel? Do you want it available in a variety of pastel colors to suit your wardrobe? If so then NEC has the phone for you. Introducing the Flask Cell Phone! Featuring a transparent design with a touchscreen surface on one side, you can monitor your fuel usage (speculatively ethanol) by how much liquid is remaining in the device. When it runs out your phone won't work anymore, simple as that. NEC says they'll be shipping out sometime this year, so we'll see what happens. I'll be first in line, I don't care if the damn thing is pink. They claim the contents aren't for human consumption, but I know better than that. They just have to say that to keep the lightweights from drinking all that good cell phone juice inside. It'll f*** you up! No seriously, it will. For life.
A picture of the front of the phones after the jumparoo.
Continue Reading " NEC Flask Phones Contain Delicious Fuel "
Jan 29 2008 Star Wars Poker Set Makes Me Wonder
There's pretty much no product that can't be Star Wars themed, and to prove it Sharper Image is selling these poker sets. For only $150 you too can be a proud owner. "The set includes 50 blue Luke Skywalker chips, 50 blue Obi-Wan Kenobi chips, 50 green Yoda chips and of course 50 red Darth Vader chips." It's also got a Death Star dealer chip and two sets of Star Wars playing cards. Perhaps the coolest thing about the set is that the chips are translucent and the case has 72 LEDs embedded in it, so when you open it the chips light up like two lightsabers. Neat. If I had $150 I might consider one. Except I'd decide to gamble with the money instead, because if doubled my money I could afford to get two sets. And that, my friends, is why I'm always broke.
Jan 29 2008 Wicked Torch Flashlight Is Bright, Starts Fires
The Wicked Torch is a 4,100-lumen flashlight made by Wicked Lasers. It's pretty bright. There's a video after the jump of a guy setting some paper on fire with it. It can also fry an egg or melt plastic. The unit sucks so much power that the battery only last 15 minutes. Oh, and it costs $300. Which is pretty expensive for a flashlight. Expensive enough to make my wallet catch fire and burn my asscheek just thinking about it.
Video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Wicked Torch Flashlight Is Bright, Starts Fires "
Jan 29 2008 E-Paper Slap Bracelet: Not As Dangerous As Its Predecessor, Which Was Really Dangerous
The Chocolate Agency, which sadly has absolutely nothing to do with delicious cocoa, has designed the conceptual E-Paper Slap Bracelet. It's an MP4 player in which the entire surface acts as a thin, high contrast and energy efficient screen. As an added bonus it needs no charging -- it's powered by the kinetic energy produced by moving your arm. Say, did you know when slap bracelets first came out they were just a piece of rusty metal covered in plastic or cloth? Yeah, me neither, well at least not until the lockjaw set in.
Another conceptual picture after the jump.
Jan 29 2008 On The Go: I Can Has Canned Cheezburger?
Katadyn is a Swiss-based company that primarily focuses its efforts on mobile water sterilization and desalination equipment. But recently the company has started making food products for adventuring/camping/military applications. Just imagine really wack MREs. They've got a powdered wine that when reconstituted has an alcohol content of over 9%, a high tech chocolate mousse, and this -- the world's first canned cheeseburger. Each can has a 12 month shelf life, requires no refrigeration, and is ready after boiling in water for a couple minutes. Awesome! They cost around $5.85 apiece from the company's website. Anybody ever tried one? Do they somehow come with all those condiments? Because if they don't I'm way less impressed. SPAM has been around forever.
The canned cheeseburger - fast food in the wilderness [gizmag]
Jan 29 2008 Device Allows You To Listen To The Quiet
The Otto is a device that you can attach to almost anything via its suction pads/magnets and listen to noises that would otherwise be inaudible. I really, really want one. I used a stethoscope to listen to my Sea Monkeys, but it sucked because you have to be right up against the tank to hear. I just want it playing out loud all the time. I swear, those little monkeys were a riot. "Does this guy really think we're monkeys?" "Somebody needs to tell that dumb asshole we're shrimp, not monkeys -- we can't eat a whole banana." "I actually think he's retarded." That's all I really heard before I emptied their tank into the toilet and flushed them.
Another picture of the device attached to a window, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Device Allows You To Listen To The Quiet "
Jan 29 2008 LEGO Stop Motion Super Mario Is Awesome
I just discovered that watching LEGO Super Mario videos made with stop motion is a great way to start a Tuesday morning. So head to the employee lounge, grab a cup of coffee, fill it half with bourbon from the bottle you keep hidden in a desk drawer, and enjoy the show. Don't worry, if someone asks why you're watching Youtube videos on the clock just insist your kids made them. If they question why your coffee smells like bourbon take a stapler and drive a couple staples into the back of your hand while staring them right in the eye. If that doesn't send them on their way you may have to actually kill them.
Several more videos after the jump, for your viewing pleasure.
Continue Reading " LEGO Stop Motion Super Mario Is Awesome "
Jan 28 2008 Neat Idea: Whirly-Gig Helicopter Camera
Designer Tsunho Wang has developed the Flying Stick, which is a whirly-gig camera. You just rub it between your palms and let go. It takes off and snaps pictures at regular intervals and even has face recognition capabilities. Well it would if it was real. Right now it's still conceptual. Pretty cool though, I really want one. Far safer than my old method of taking shots from above, which was to climb a tree or get on the roof. Although this could be dangerous in its own way. You know , if it came down in your eye.
UPDATE: I just went outside and did a little experimenting, and I think I've come up with a great solution to aerial photography. This is what you do: You borrow your roommate's camera, set the timer, and right before it goes off you throw it as high as you can. Since it's not your own camera there's no need to worry about catching it, so there's no chance of bodily harm. You just let it fall.
UPDATE: Mike -- sorry about your camera dude. I went into your room to see if you were here and I saw it smashed to bits on your desk. Someone who really hates cameras must have broken into the apartment and spotted it. I'm not totally sure but I think they may have eaten the rest of your cereal and pissed in one of your dresser drawers too.
A couple more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Neat Idea: Whirly-Gig Helicopter Camera "
Jan 28 2008 Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay
I would actually consider this "Indiana Jones" themed home theater more of an "Egyptian themed" home theater with some Indiana Jones props strewn about, but whatever. It's still way badder-ass than my theater, which is a pair of binoculars I use to watch my neighbor's television.
That being said, the movie props they have are pretty cool, including the golden idol from Raiders. You know what pissed me off about that? That Indy replaced the idol with a damn bag of sand. That thing had to weigh way more than a freaking bag of sand. Man that made me angry. And then when the monkey died because it ate a poisoned date? That was pretty upsetting too -- until you realized it was in with the Nazis and deserved to die. But how about that line by Sallah? He catches it, points to the monkey and says "Bad dates." F***ing classic! And speaking of bad dates, I went on one over the weekend. What made it so bad you ask? Take a wild guess. Yep, she had a penis. It was way bigger than mine. It happened again. I swear, eHarmony sucks.
A ton more pictures of the theater's movie props, after the whip-crack.
Continue Reading " Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay "
Jan 28 2008 Fire Extinguisher Fights Fires With Balls
This conceptual fire extinguisher from designer Woo Seok Park comes packed with both oxygen tanks (for breathing) and fire-retarding powder balls (for retarding fires). So if your house is ablaze you grab this sucker and make your way to an exit while puffing the oxygen and tossing the balls.
The user rolls or throws the capsules toward the fire. The capsule, made of a material that reacts to high temperatures, will explode when it reaches the fire. Thus, the user does not need to get close to the fire in order to put it out. The elasticized body of the capsule enables it to absorb shock when it is thrown.
Sounds good. Just hope you don't run out of balls. I certainly wouldn't though, because I happened to have been born with three extra. While I haven't tested their fire-fighting capabilities, they've certainly extinguished my sex life.
Another picture of the device releasing a ball, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Fire Extinguisher Fights Fires With Balls "
Jan 28 2008 Happy Birthday LEGO, I Love You So Much!
According to the company LEGO turns 50 today because it marks the anniversary of the patent approval for their famous interlocking bricks. HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY LEGO! This is also the 30th year minifigs have been in existence. So HAPPY 30th YEAR IN EXISTENCE MINIFIGS! I love you all so much. Please enjoy the cake I made for you. Maybe afterwards we'll head down to the bar and I'll drop a couple of you in my beer. Feel free to drink as much as you want, just don't choke me if I accidentally swallow you.
Check out a PDF of LEGO's historic achievements here
The LEGO Brick Turns 50 [boingboing]
Jan 28 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Your DNA As Art
DNA 11 is a company that turns your DNA into art. And by “turns your DNA into art” I mean they print it on a piece of canvas. There are a bunch of color options to choose from and prices start at $390 for an 18" x 24" print and go up to $790 for a 36" x 54". You can also get your fingerprints and lips done (both of which you could probably do yourself) if that’s more your scene. I say if you’re going to hang personal information on the wall, you might as well go all the way. So if you're interested I’m starting a business where I take your name, social security number, bank account info, mother's maiden name and, well, steal your identity.
A picture of the fingerprint and lip prints after the jump.
Jan 28 2008 V-12 Engine Made Entirely Out Of Paper
This V-12 four-stroke engine was constructed entirely out of paper -- 1,978 pieces to be exact. Weighing in at a little over 3 pounds, it certainly ranks as one of the lightest V-12s around. It also ranks as the one most likely to cause a serious paper cut. Perhaps the most amazing part of the whole thing is that it works -- producing a 13.5RPM crankshaft speed via 2 AA batteries. Over two years in the making it truly is a work of art. Well, it was until I filled it with gas and produced a spark. Then it was truly a fireball.
Several more pictures and a video of the action after the jump.
Jan 28 2008 Camera Has Whole Bunch Of Megapixels
Is 10 or 12 megapixels just not enough for you? Looking for something with a little more resolution? How about 160MP? That's what the new Seitz D3 6 x 17 is packing. The 4.5 lb camera takes 60 x 170 mm images with 7,500 x 21,250 pixel resolution. An uncompressed file is just under a gig in size and the thing is so nasty that it functions through a little tablet PC attached to the back. Pretty sweet. I'm thinking this is probably the logical step up from the 1MP HP digital camera I've been rocking for nine years now. Unfortunately the $44,414 pricetag made me throw up and soil my pants at the same time.
Seitz 160-Megapixel Camera Is An Arm Full [gearfuse]
Product Page (with full specs)
Thanks to Lincoln, who is very photogenic because he's so handsome, for the tip
Jan 28 2008 Robot Spots Lost Shoppers, Scares Them
Robovie the robot was designed to monitor crowds in shopping areas and assist anyone who appears lost. He can monitor approximately 1,000 square feet of space at once.
Relying on data from 16 cameras, 6 laser range finders and 9 RFID tag readers installed in and around the area, the robot was able to watch up to 20 people at a time, pinpoint their locations to within a few centimeters, and classify each individual’s behavior into one of 10 categories (waiting, wandering, walking fast, running, etc.).
If you fall into the "disoriented" category, which likely includes "drunk" and "stumbling" then the robot approaches you and asks "Are you lost?" If you answer yes he'll point and explain the directions to your destination. If no then he proceeds to recommend shops and eateries in the area. Or, if you're like me you won't answer anything. You'll be too frightened of the scary little bastard approaching that you'll either turn and run or kick him until he blows up.
Robovie droid helps lost shoppers [pinktentacle]
Thanks to the always beautifully beautiful Melissa, who is never lost, for the tip
Jan 25 2008 Nautilus Home Theater Is Freaking Awesome
Inspired by Jules Verne's classic novel, the Nautilus home theater is truly a work of art. It was designed by Dillon Works Inc. for Dallas-based dentist Randy Moran and his wife. It looks unbelievably awesome and is nearly 900 square feet. I just showed it to my girlfriend and told her I wanted something similar. "Yeah, too bad you're 20,000 Leagues Under Debt." "Well listen, I'm entering an intense land race called 'Around Your Fat Ass in 80 Days', and if I win then the prize money should be enough to cover it." And that, my friends, is what you tell someone when you want your privates bludgeoned with a Wiimote.
Several more must-see pictures and an equipment list after the dive.
Continue Reading " Nautilus Home Theater Is Freaking Awesome "
Jan 25 2008 Geekologie: 2008 Tech Blog Of The Year
Well by divine miracle (and my l33t haxoring) Geekologie has been nominated for a Bloggie in the 2008 Best Computers or Technology category. I would like to thank you all for your support and urge you to take a trip over to the Bloggies website and cast a vote for Geekologie. As you can see we're up against some pretty stiff competition. Real stiff. Stiff as hell. The big dogs. But like that story in the bible where the one little dude eats six dozen eggs and a gallon of milk to beat the other bigger dude in the eating contest, you never know.
And if by some fluke Geekologie does win I hereby swear I'll pound an entire fifth of bourbon and convince my girlfriend to have a threesome. I'll even take pictures. Hell, I may even hire Sears Portrait Studio -- after all, this is the bigtime. Now get out there and vote so we can stick it to the man. And by 'the man' I mean my father. He still thinks I'm just some loser that lives in the basement and steals his beer.
Jan 25 2008 Sinistar Is Still Scary, Even As Delicious Cake
I never had the chance to play Sinistar in the arcade, but I certainly played the hell out of it on Sega Genesis, and that mother could send shivers down my spine. Well here he is in cake form, and he's looking just as scary as ever. I remember him yelling at me to "Run, coward!" -- and I would, I would totally run. Straight down the hall to hide under my bed with a fresh load in my pants.
I Hunger...For This Fabulous Sinistar Cake [kotaku]
Thanks to TetterkeT for the tip, and Happy Birthday!
Jan 25 2008 Boy Builds Bicycle Entirely Out Of Wood
16 year-old high school student Marco Facciola built a bike out of wood. I'm talking every part is made out of wood. Pretty damn impressive. "Marco had to complete this as a non-academic project for his International Baccalaureate, and inspiration came from his grandfather, forced to make wooden wheels for his bike during the war due to rubber shortages." Well props to both you and your grandfather, I'm sure he's proud. Say, mind if I take it for a ride? I'm working on a stunt spectacular where I set a bike on fire and jump over cats in my driveway. No I can't use my own bike Marco, it won't burn right.
Hit the jump for several close-ups of the amazing wooden gears and chain.
Continue Reading " Boy Builds Bicycle Entirely Out Of Wood "
Jan 25 2008 Make Your Own Custom Sharpie Pens
I used Sharpies all the time -- for labeling, drawing, and scribbling on my passed out girlfriend. In a shocking annoucement Sharpie has decided to allow you to customize your own pens with personalized message, clip art, and font choices. Why? The hell if I know, I don't work for damn Sharpie. What I do know is a 6-pack costs $12 and a 12er runs $22. I'm pretty sure they all have to have the same message though, which sucks. And so does the list of things you can't do:
**Please do not use any obscenities or offensive phrases. Be bold, but don't offend! **No celebrity names, please! Unless of course it's YOUR name! **No professional sports team names - we know you love them, but we want to respect their trademarks too! **No names of major events or landmarks. **No product names, trademarked names, copyrighted names or business names! **No school/college/university names! Use your imagination to find other ways to show your school spirit!
Wow, way to zap the fun out of pen customization, Sharpie. I still sent in an order just for the hell of it, but they emailed me back saying they wouldn't make them for. I tried to explain Cock B. Dragon was my given name, but they didn't falling for it.
Personalized Sharpies [notcot]
Sharpie page, which I used to make the ones in the picture.
Jan 25 2008 Real Halo Energy Sword For Sale On eBay
It says so right there in the item description: "A life size, REAL Energy Sword exclusively from Lionheartsrealm!" So it's real after all folks. I can't believe all this time I thought it was just a fictional weapon in a video game! How stupid of me. I do wish he would have taken some pictures of it while the plasma was glowing and all, you know, just to be sure.
Current price is $255 with 5 days 10 hours left, hit the link for a different picture, a link to the auction and another energy sword you can make yourself.
Continue Reading " Real Halo Energy Sword For Sale On eBay "
Jan 25 2008 The World Is Doomed, Head For The Hills
Dan Bloom thinks the world is screwed. Who is Dan Bloom you ask? Some scientist or expert on global warming? No, he's a writer that doesn't own a computer and lives in Taiwan teaching English. Proving it doesn't take a scientist to believe Mother Earth is packing up her bags and calling it quits. Dan is also the one that came up with the idea for these awesome Polar Cities. Basically he thinks that in no longer than 500 years (and possible way sooner) the world's population will be decimated and only a few hundred million people will survive in these specially-designed cities in the Arctic.
Well damn, Dan, way to put a damper on my usual 'Get Drunk and Watch The Price Is Right' Friday ritual. Screaming at the idiotic contestants really lost its luster with this depressing news. Oh my god you better bid $601 or I swear I'll kill you! Oh you lost? Really? Well maybe it's because YOU'RE A BONEHEAD ASSCAP AND DIDN'T BID WHAT I TOLD YOU TO. Jesus the people are stupid today. It's like half-wit vs. quarter-wit day on The Price Is Right. I bet these are the same morons responsible for destroying the damn planet. God I hate them so much.
A few more pictures of the conceptual cities after the jump, in case you're building a sweet Habitrail for your gerbils and want to use them for reference.
Continue Reading " The World Is Doomed, Head For The Hills "
Jan 25 2008 It's About Time: A Microwave On The Go
Phil Davis is an inventor. An inventor with a dream. An inventor with a dream of a microwave in the bathroom.
Davis said he came up with the idea for the I-Wave when he was thinking about using a hot towel on his face while in the bathroom, and asked himself why a microwave can't be in the bathroom and bedroom.
Ah yes, the old microwave in the bathroom conundrum. Been There Phil, been there. You're on the right track, but you need a mini-fridge/freezer attachment as well, or it's pointless. A microwave in the bathroom is only as good as the number of Pizza Bites and Hot Pockets you have within arm's reach of the john. *Ding* Oh, gotta go -- breakfast biscuit's ready.
iWave Cube [sharperimage]
Thanks to Melissa, who can cook me breakfast anyday, for the tip
Jan 24 2008 Batmobile Case Mod Looks Nice, Fast
Batfan06, a modder, went and made a computer case out of a 1/6 scale Tumbler Batmobile RC car. It looks good. Real good. Nice and well lit. I like lights. The dude obviously has mad skills and I give him props for such a wicked looking case. It's certainly a hell of a lot better than my case mod. Which is just a plain beige computer case I covered with Hello Kitty stickers.
"Holy casemod, Batman".
"Damnit Robin, I told you to stop saying dumb shit like that."
"I'm sorry Batman, I thought you liked it."
"Well I never have. Now put your leotard back on and get the hell out of here."
"Holy sleeping on the couch, Batman."
"Goddamnit Robin!"
Hit the Batcave for a ton more pictures and a link to the build site that's worth checking out.
Jan 24 2008 LEGO Star Wars Steampunk Contest Is Rad
A week or two ago someone sent a tip about the LEGO Star Wars Steampunk contest, and I forgot all about it. So whoever that was let me know, and I'll give you the proper credit you're due. Anyways, there's a contest going on over at the FTBD (From Bricks to Bothans) forums until the end of the month where you steampunkify a vehicle from Star Wars and post it for judging. The entries have been rolling in, and some of the creations are absolutely ridiculous. These people have got some serious imaginations and LEGO building talent. It's weird how that works -- some people are good at some things and others are good at other things. Like these people are great at constructing wicked steampunk Star Wars vehicles, and I'm good at, well, sucking at life.
Hit the jump for a bunch more vehicles and make sure to check out the link to the contest page for all the bad-assness.
Continue Reading " LEGO Star Wars Steampunk Contest Is Rad "
Jan 24 2008 I'm In Love With The Day-To-Night Solar Dress
Well we've posted unusual dresses (must watch if you haven't seen it before) and solar bikinis here in the past, and now there's a solar dress making its way down the runway.
The Day-For-Night dress is a modular, reconfigurable dress comprised of 448 white circuit boards (although the number changes as the dress can get longer or shorter). Each tile is designed in such a way as to accommodate a solar cell, a RGB LED, or a photocell, and jumper connectors (in the form of 0 Ohm resistors). A control board provides power, communicates with the tiles, and links to a computer via RF. The dress is completely modular both in terms of software and hardware.
To be honest I have no idea what that means because I didn't bother reading it. I just copied and pasted it there with the hope that it would make sense and answer any questions you may have. I apologize, but I've been preoccupied with staring at the picture. I think I'm in love with that model. She's just the way I like my women -- leggy, scantily clad, and faceless from the nose up. Yow Yow!! Did I really just yell that? You're damn right I did, and I meant it.
Day-for-Night solar dress turns on more than just light bulbs [dvice]
Jan 24 2008 Retro 8-Bit Watch Really Takes Me Back
The Icon Watch costs about $82 and looks all blocky with its 8-bit styling. I like it. Nice and simple. Really takes me back. Back to the day when I invented a 4-bit watch and was doing great until some company trumped me with an 8-bitter and stole all my damn profits. Thanks a lot, dicks. You heartless moneygrubbing jerks. You will discontinue this line immediately or find out what a 4-bit foot jammed up your 8-bit b-hole feels like.
A couple more pictures after the jump, if you can't decide yet if you want one.
Jan 24 2008 Jet Wing: Not A Jetpack But I'll Still Take It
We've posted different jetpacks here before, and let's face it, jetpacks are awesome as hell. We also posted the Vampire 2 Wingsuit, which was pretty sweet in its own way. And now comes a sort of hybrid of the two, the Personal Jet Wing.
Basically you jump out of a plane with this thing strapped on and glide to an altitude around 8,000 feet. Then you kick on the engines and about 30 seconds later you're stabilized and flying horizontally. After ignition you reach speeds in excess of 115MPH and have enough juice to fly for 4-6 minutes. While that doesn't sound like a whole lot, I imagine it's more than sufficient time to fill your entire flight suit with excrement.
Check out a video (in French and German) after the jump. The flying starts around 3:00.
Continue Reading " Jet Wing: Not A Jetpack But I'll Still Take It "
Jan 24 2008 500XL Earbud Speakers May Hurt Your Ears
The 500XL Earbud Speakers were designed to be 500 times the size of normal iPod earbuds. I think they're just a conceptual product design by Fred & Friends, and thus don't exist in the real world yet (and may never). According to the company:
How great will these look on your desktop alongside your mp3 player or PC? 500XL includes a built-in amp and 3-way power - it runs on batteries; you can connect it to your PC’s USB port with the supplied cord; or plug it into the wall with a generic power supply (not included). The stand-up, peggable clamshell packaging really makes a statement.
Now as a person with unusually large ears, I appreciate where they're going with this product. Unfortunately I just took some measurements and I'm going to have to hold out for the 750XL's to ensure a snug fit.
500XL Speakers; iPod Earbuds 500 TImes The Size Of The Original [uberreview]
Jan 24 2008 MonsterHoodies Probably Won't Scare Kids
MonsterHoodies are hooded sweatshirts with teeth sewn into the hood and some googly eyes glued on. They're made by Jen Dunlap and Zach Smith (who I assume are the two in the pictures) and start shipping February 1st. They cost $60 (with free shipping) and are made from American Apparel Unisex California Fleece Zip Hoodies that normally cost $41. So if you’re skilled in the arts of sewing and gluing you could do it yourself and save a few coconuts. I have no skills whatsoever (I once glued my head to the desk), so I'm buying Dinosaurus Rex (the green one). The others, going clockwise are Neko Gato, Shark Bite, and Monster Kun -- which, incidentally, my girlfriend has one of.
UPDATE: While the hoodies themselves probably won't scare children, that face the girl is making in the upper right photo sure will.
MonsterHoodies, Turn Yourself Into A Cute Monster [laughingsquid]
Thanks to Sebastian, who has never made out with a monster in his life, for the tip
Jan 24 2008 Darth Vader Transformer Has Identity Crisis
Thinkgeek is selling these 11" tall Darth Vader Transformers for $50. For that price you get the main figure along with 3 mini Storm Troopers, 3 little Tie Fighters, and a mini Vader. The figure also comes with a few weapons and makes different noises depending on his mood and what kind of weapons he's holding. Sounds good right? Well there's a problem: It's completely unbelievable. The first Death Star had a diameter between 120 - 160km ( ~75 - 100 miles). That's freaking huge. So if you had a Vader that big, why even bother building a Death Star? Vader could just land on the planet and kick the shit out of any Ewoks that got in his way. Just swing the ol' lightsaber around for a day or two and everyone is dead. Plus you get to keep the planet afterward instead of vaporizing it. Win, win. That being said, I ordered two of these. One for myself and one for my daughter because I forgot her birthday. I've got my fingers crossed she doesn't want it though so I can keep one mint condition. *pew pew*
UPDATE: Two pictures added of horrible, horrible, horrible Chewbacca and Han Solo Millennium Falcon Transfomers added, thanks to the beatiful Melissa. You really have to see them to believe the awfulness.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures of the entire thing.
Continue Reading " Darth Vader Transformer Has Identity Crisis "
Jan 23 2008 Virgin Galactic Flashes Its Spacecans For Us
Virgin Galactic recently showed off the spaceships that will take rich passengers into sub-orbit starting as early as next year. The ships will take off from Spaceport America in New Mexico. The picture above just shows the spaceship -- SpaceShip Two, but White Knight Two, which is a plane, is required to get the spaceship high enough to launch itself into space (pictures after the jump). The plane is near completed, and the spaceship is approximately 60% done. A trip will cost you about $200,000 -- which is pretty steep. For that kind of money they better give you more than a bag of peanuts and can of ginger ale for the flight. For $200,000 I'd expect at least a Burger King Value Meal. Upsized -- and with a shake for no extra cost.
UPDATE: Video added.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of the ships and their construction, along with a video.
Continue Reading " Virgin Galactic Flashes Its Spacecans For Us "
Jan 23 2008 Oakley Medusa Hat & Goggles Are Painful
There are people out there that want to look as stupid as possible. Thankfully for these freaks there is the Medusa hat and goggles from Oakley. The ridiculous hat goes for a paltry $500 and the bug-eyed goggles for $250 -- a steal. I can't imagine who in their right (or wrong) mind would ever, ever, ever buy these monstrosities, but I'm sure they're out there. I'm also sure they're idiots and should be sterilized. That being said, I think they'd be great for a little mythical role-playing in the bedroom. I could get my wife to put these on, then I'd pretend to cut her head off with my man-sword. You know, just like Perseus did.
Thanks to Melissa, goddess of beauty, and Sebastian, god of sexual prowess, for the tips
Jan 23 2008 New Gun Mouse Looks Like A Robot's Foot
Well we've posted other FPS gun-mice in the past, and now here comes another. With a more futuristic design than the other, this bad boy is just the thing you need to bust a cap in someone's ass with a rail-gun, ion-cannon, AWP, or whatever the hell else suits your fancy. The mouse features "five programmable buttons, gold plated USB connectors, and Teflon coated bottom grips". It also has a 2,000 DPI resolution and costs $73. I posted it for anyone out there that may be in the market for an ion-cannon mouse, but I'm not really feeling it. What I am feeling is my dog's bare a-hole against my arm. It feels kind of gross and cool at the same time.
FPS Gun Mouse equips you with the perfect virtual hand cannon [dvice]
Jan 23 2008 Roadkill Cooker: The Exhaust Burger Grill
You stuff the one of the open ends of the Exhaust Burger into your tailpipe, and then drive around while the heat of your exhaust cooks a burger. I know exactly what you're thinking -- "why didn't I think of that?". I'll admit I was a little miffed I didn't come up with it either. It was actually designed by an Iranian team (amazing it took a team of people to develop and not just one drunk scribbling on a bar napkin) and no fumes actually come in contact with your burger (allegedly). The hot exhaust fumes just warm up the metal to cook the meat. However it looks like it only heats one side, so you may have to stop at a gas station and flip you meat. Now I've heard of cooking on a hot engine before, but never cooking by exhaust. And I must say, I think this invention is a glimpse of a very bright future. And by 'bright future' I mean what the hell is the matter with these people.
Another picture of the device installed in a tailpipe after the jump.
Continue Reading " Roadkill Cooker: The Exhaust Burger Grill "
Jan 23 2008 $20,000 Coffee Maker Is Redonkdonkdiculous
How much is a perfect cup of brew worth to you? If $20,000 is the answer, then this might be your new coffee maker. Currently it's the only halogen-powered siphon coffee maker in the U.S. and is at the Blue Bottle Cafe in San Francisco.
The whole process of making a cup of coffee is invigorating and lasts 45 to 90 seconds. “The whirlpool, it messes with your mind,” said Mr. Freeman, who practiced stirring plain water for months to develop muscle memory before he brewed his first cup of siphon coffee. “There’s no way to rush it.” The key to a cup of siphon coffee is the temperature variation, the flavor changes as the temperature changes. The flavor is “kaleidoscopic,” says Mr. Freeman.
Uh, okay. Not totally sure what all that means because the only coffee I drink is from 7-11 and not only is the process far from invigorating, the flavor sure as hell isn't "kaleidoscopic." I'm still going to buy one of these brewers though, so I can see what all the fuss is about. And if it sucks I'll just part it out and make some wicked bongs.
$20,000 Coffee Maker Straight from Science Lab [bornrich]
Jan 23 2008 Din-ink Pen Utensils: Never Without Flatware
These Din-ink pen cap utensils recently tied for first place in Designboom's 'Dining in 2015' contest. They're made of biodegradable materials and are pretty clever. These would be great for some people at work, but personally I'm not a big fan of using utensils. I like to eat standing over a sink with my meal wrapped in a paper towel. Sure it sucks for soups, pasta, and pretty much everything that isn't a sandwich, but I don't eat those things anyways. Unfortunately for me, there is no kitchen sink at work, so I only have three options for comfortable dining. 1. eating over the water fountain, 2. eating over a restroom sink, and 3. eating over a urinal. Please note: Due to health concerns I have lowered the 'dropped food rule' from 5 seconds to a much safer (and hygenic) 4 seconds.
Din-ink Utensils [notcot]
Jan 23 2008 Wii Mii Chocolates In Time For Valentine's
Wii Mii Chocolates are, get this -- little Wii Mii shaped chocolates! You get the option of milk, dark, or white chocolate, and can choose any combination of the three, along with the preferred sexes of the two figures. They run $15 and come in a little Wii shaped box. Perfect for that Wii loving lover of yours for Valentine's day. I actually thought about ordering some, but I've decided on going a different route. Instead of buying chocolates I'm going to write a heartfelt poem for my girlfriend on Valentine's. The following is my rough draft.
My girlfriend,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I couldn't come up with anything, so I guess I don't.
I've been sleeping with your best friend anyways.
I guess this is my way of saying "we're over."
Happy Valentine's.I hope you cry a lot,
The Geekologie Writer
Pretty romantic, I know.
Chocolate Mii for you and Wii [popgadget]
Jan 23 2008 Solar Powered NES/Gameboy Emulator
Chinavasion has a pretty sweet looking 2GB MP4 player for sale that comes packed with all sorts of goodies, including NES, Gameboy, and Gameboy Color emulators. All this and it's solar powered.
Uniquely designed 2GB MP4 Player with 2 solar panels built in for either recharging the built in Li-ion batteries or for recharging other electrical devices through the USB OUT. The eco friendly MP4 player has the ability to recharge 4.5V, 5V, 6.3V, 9V devices, so you will be getting a mobile power station wherever you go. Other excellent features include a 3.5 Inch TFT Screen with a 1.6 million colors, a NES, GB and GBC emulator, an E-Book that will read aloud for you, and even a built in LED flashlight.
They cost $123 and are available from Chinavasion if you're really interested. But don't screw around -- if you're not really interested don't lead me on. Because that's how feelings get hurt. And when feelings get hurt, arms and legs get broken.
handheld nintendo emulator goes solar [technabob]
Jan 22 2008 MacHeads The Movie Coming Soon! Whee!
Apparently this is a legitimate film being made about Mac lovers and is not just a jab at crazy fanboys. It's definitely worth checking out. And I'm going to preface this with the following statement: I don't have anything against Mac fans at all. I like Apple. My wife swears by her MacBook and I heart my iPod Touch and want to be buried with it. That being said, the Apple fanatics in this video are freaking nuts.
MacHeads The Movie Trailer Shocks, Revolts, Intrigues Us [gizmodo]
Jan 22 2008 Powerstick USB Charger Is Small, Tempting
The Powerstick is a little 40 gram device designed to recharge your gadgets when they run out of juice (not the fruit variety, I'm talking power here). It fully recharges via USB in 90 minutes and is then ready to charge your mobile devices. "It can charge a portable device as fast as a wall charger can, and will in theory double the battery life of your phone, PDA or MP3 player. It even includes 9 connectors covering everything from Nokia, Sony Ericsson, LG, Motorola, Blackberry and Samsung phones to the iPod and even the iPhone." The thing costs $70 and has a nice little gas gauge style power meter on top. A nice touch if I do say so myself. Speaking of nice touches, I need a massage. First one to come over with some scented massage oils wins the annual "Give The Geekologie Writer A Massage" contest. Winner takes home a mysterious rash and any unused oils.
Powerstick Portable USB Charger [ohgizmo]
Jan 22 2008 Message Tape: Analog Packing Tape Is Lame
I touched on this packing tape back in October, but now SUCK UK is selling the stuff, in both traditional LCD and Pixel varieties. A mini roll will set you back £5 (~$9.80) and the big ones go for £7.50 (~$14.70), which is pretty freaking expensive for some damn tape. Still, if you can't stand the look of plain analog packing tape, maybe this is for you. You know, the pixel tape kind of reminds me of the opscan forms you had to fill out for multiple choice tests in college. I would always get two and after I was done taking the test I'd put a fake name on the other and fill in the bubbles to look like a monster penis. Ah, college.
A NSFW example of an old test of mine if you don't know what I'm talking about, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Message Tape: Analog Packing Tape Is Lame "
Jan 22 2008 Seal The Deal With A Gadget: The iRing
Victor Soto, an artist, came up with the idea for iRings. "The band acts as a touch-sensitive function strip. Swipe your finger across the band to control media playback and volume." While only conceptual, the device would feature an OLED display, a two day battery life, and another reason for people to avoid human relationships. Who needs a woman/man anyways when you can marry an, um, iSomething? Sure it would still be better than my marriage, but so would getting hit by a car. Which is why I always go for the mail blindfolded.
Hit the jump for a graphical representation of the controls, along with a picture of me modeling the ring.
Jan 22 2008 It's About Time: Self-Assembling Bionic Eyes
Finally, bionic vision. I've been waiting for this technology forever, and apparently it's right around the corner, waiting to pounce on me like a mugger. We have a group of electrical engineers from the University of Washington to thank for this awesome step into the future. The idea was to provide a means of streaming information in your field of vision without the use of some goofy looking glasses.
Sporting circuits a few nanometers thick and grain-of-sand-sized light-emitting diodes, the lenses have full Count Zero potential. They're also the product of some ingenious hackery: since contact lenses are delicate and circuit manufacture is hot and toxic, the researchers designed each component to attach itself only to certain other components. Their powder of circuits and diodes literally self-assembled into gadgetry when sprinkled onto the lens plastic.
The engineers say they'll have basic models out "fairly quickly", but the cooler wireless-enabled and radio/solar charging ones will take longer. And sadly, at this end of this post, I come to the realization that bionic vision has nothing to do with seeing through a woman's shirt.
Self-Assembling Bionic Eyes Coming Soon [wired]
Thanks to Sebastian, who doesn't need any special technology to get to see a woman's hooters, for the tip
Jan 22 2008 Tiny Bluetooth Adapter Will Get Lost Easily
Brando, maker of some of the best products of the century is actually producing a product with some use -- the ultra-tiny USB Bluetooth Adapter. The unit "allows for a working range of more than 10 meters, with a 723 Kbps data rate transmission." They run $24 and are very small. But don't worry -- while it is tiny, you'll still be able to locate the device in the dryer by the noise it makes while it bounces around in there. And on a completely unrelated note, this picture just gave me the idea for a great "get rich quick" scheme. You know what I'm thinking don't you? That's right, I'm going to print a million copies of this picture and pass the pennies off as real ones. Brilliant, I know. I certainly didn't get this "Good Eater" award because I'm stupid.
Penny-Sized Bluetooth Adapter Is World's Smallest [techeblog]
Jan 22 2008 Cliche Super-Villain T-Shirt Is Questionable
We posted the 56 Geek Poster awhile ago, and here comes something similar -- the League Of Cliche Evil Super-Villains t-shirt. As you can see it's a shirt featured cliche super-villains. You've gotta admit, it would look good hanging on a rack at the thrift store. They run $15-$17 from Threadless, depending on the style of shirt you want. I actually just posted this because I've been getting lots of fan mail from beautiful women asking if I'm really as handsome as I seem. Well I am. If you look at the picture there and imagine a face 1/3 Dark Priest, 1/3 Evil Genius, and 1/3 Evil Ninja, you'd pretty much have me. Except I wear a top hat over my ninja gear. You know, for extra class.
EDITOR'S UPDATE: I've seen the Geekologie writer before and he doesn't look like that. He's more a cross between Butch Henchwoman and Brain Man but way, way uglier. Oh, and the chick he's dating looks like the Bog Creature.
GEEKOLOGIE WRITER UPDATE: He's got me.
The League of Cliche Evil Super-Villains by Joshua Kemble [laughingsquid]
Jan 22 2008 Mario Cupcakes Don't Provide Invincibility
In today's delectable news, a flickr user that goes by 'hello naomi' has officially become a cupcake goddess according to the Geekologie writer. Asked for further comment the writer responded "I'd eat the hell out of those things." They do look amazing don't they? This woman has clearly got skills in the kitchen *elbows girlfriend*. But be careful eating something like this, because once I made a Mario star cupcake and expected invincibility like in the game. I ran outside and punched the first guy I could find, which happened to be the mailman. He beat me within inches of my life.
Hit continue to see a set of Pac-man cupcakes the saint of sweets also created.
Continue Reading " Mario Cupcakes Don't Provide Invincibility "
Jan 21 2008 Man Builds Huge LEGO Ship, It Is Awesome
Mark Kelso, a LEGO brick artist, spent nine months making a huge spaceship. And it's actually a scale model of General Grevious' ship the Invisible Hand from Star Wars Episode III. It's 73 inches long, weighs about 30 pounds and, according to my calculation, has betwen 6 and 8 vajillion pieces. Which is a lot. And which is a real number. I'm not carrying this calculator because I don't know math. Actually I don't know why I'm carrying a damn calculator. Oh wait, it's a PSP. That's right, I was playing video games.
A ton more pictures of the ship after the jump, check them out.
Continue Reading " Man Builds Huge LEGO Ship, It Is Awesome "
Jan 21 2008 Skull Speakers Add Nice Piratey Ambiance
So what we've got here are some relatively good looking skull speakers. As is evident from the photograph they glow blue when you turn them on and look like a cyclops with half its eye in its nose. As is not evident from the photograph, they cost $71.75 a pair and there's a matching webcam available. You know, I think they'll look pretty good in my pirate-themed office. Well, except I don't have a pirate-themed office. Hell, I don't even have an office. What I do have is a tapeworm.
skull speakers: how jack sparrow listens to his ipod [technabob]
Jan 21 2008 Man Makes Chairs By Melting Weird Plastics
Tom Price, a designer from London, has made a line of chairs by melting different plastics with a seat-shaped mold. We posted a picture of the rope chair back in June, and here comes the rest of the series. As you can tell it looks like a ball of PVC tubing with a turd-like seat in the middle. I'm finding myself strangely attracted to it. I think it's because it makes no sense whatsoever, like my girlfriend. I mean I rarely have any idea what the hell she's talking about. I guess if I paid attention that would help, but it's really hard with her being so uninteresting. Ha, just kidding honey, you're awesome. And by awesome I mean you're boring and I can't stand you. Yeah that's right, we're breaking up via Geekologie post. Oh god put down that knife. Listen readers -- if there isn't another post in an hour somebody call the morgue. Or Domino's if you're getting hungry.
His other designs, along with a video of the rope chair being made, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Man Makes Chairs By Melting Weird Plastics "
Jan 21 2008 Weighted Companion Case Mod Looks Good
Someone went and made a Companion Cube computer case from Portal. It looks good and is small (20cm). It's used as a web browsing and music computer, so there isn't anything too fancy on the inside. Unlike the doughnuts I had for breakfast, which were chock full of fanciness. And by fanciness I mean Bavarian cream.
A few more pictures and a link to the build through the portal.
Jan 21 2008 R/C Helicopter Is Crazy, Operator Has Skills
This video is pretty old, but I'd never seen it before so I figured there were probably some of you out there that haven't either. It's a video of a guy flying an R/C helicopter and doing the craziest things I've ever seen with it. I thought it was fake at first, but it's real. Can you imagine what it would be like if full-size helicopters flew like that? I can, and it would be a lot like puking uncontrollably.
Thanks to sexy Pete, who is both sexy and Pete, for the video
Jan 21 2008 LINDO Laptop Holder Is Pretty Questionable
The LINDO laptop holder was designed by Henning Kunow to hold a laptop while you're sitting, standing or walking. It's utterly ridiculous and I definitely want one. Just think about it -- it's perfect for those times when you, you know, need to, uh, damn I got nothing.
Hip Office - LINDO [likecool]
Thanks to Ben, who is a very productive worker and doesn't need a laptop attached at the hip, for the tip
Jan 18 2008 Now That Is A Batcave Home Theater Setup
Well we've seen Star Wars, Star Trek, Terminator, and even a cave inspired home theater, but now comes an actual Batman setup. The pictures come from a company called Elite Home Theater Systems (which actually just sells chairs), and look like they may just be conceptual. But if it is real and they don't let live bats fly around in there then it's stupid anyways. Stupid and sad. You know what else is sad? I think I backed over a squirrel this morning when I was leaving the house. Just kidding, I don't think it was a squirrel. Unless it was wearing a business suit and riding a bicycle then that's definitely not what I hit. Holy lawsuit, Batman.
One more picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Now That Is A Batcave Home Theater Setup "
Jan 18 2008 MP3 Player Looks And Acts Like A Cassette
The Cassette MP3 Player can be used as a stand alone MP3 player with headphones, or inserted into any cassette deck and played that way. It plays the music directly off the SD card and will function with the controls on your tape deck. Still, it's not the worst way to spend $22. Definitely better than stuffing it down the g-string of a stripper you've fallen in love with. Actually, no it's not. Well it's a lot better than blowing it all on booze. Nope, not that either. Okay, it has got to be better than paying a soccer team $22 to each running-kick you in your change purse as hard as they can. Eh, it might be better than that.
Thanks to Melissa, who is awesome and can make a wicked mix tape, for the tip
Jan 18 2008 HDR Images Of Japan Are Beautiful, Stunning
My wife has been into HDR photography for awhile now, so I've seen some pretty awesome examples of what you can do with HDR. For those of you that aren't familiar with High Dynamic Range photography, it's pretty neat. Basically you take several photos of the exact same scene using different exposure values. That way you get photos that have the darkest darks, and other with the lightest lights. Then you combine the photos (Photoshop even has an option for this) and presto, High Dynamic Range. A lot of the pictures turn out unworldly, and I think they look like they were rendered for a video game. I have a few examples of my own that I'd show you, but they're private photos. Literally, pictures of my privates.
Hit continue for a bunch more awesome HDR images around Japan, along with a link to Flickr's Japan HDR photo pool. I think the last picture of the truck is unbelievable.
Continue Reading " HDR Images Of Japan Are Beautiful, Stunning "
Jan 18 2008 World's Largest Drill Bit Is Pretty Big, I Guess
The world's largest drill bit was put to use last month boring a subway tunnel in Leipzig, Germany. This is it. As you can see it's relatively large. Not huge, but pretty big. For a drill bit. Now if it was a Reuben sandwich, that would be impressive. And filling. Can you imagine the amount of sauerkraut required for a sandwich that big? I'm thinking several cans at least. I'm also thinking about making one. Who's with me? You bring the ingredients, and I'll bring an appetite and my "kiss the cook but don't touch the buns" apron.
A close up picture of the bit after the jump.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Drill Bit Is Pretty Big, I Guess "
Jan 18 2008 Female Nether Regions Couch Is Way Icky
Willow, an artist who lives in Mendocino recently put up an ad on Craigslist trying to sell the vagina couch she made in art school. It's 5'3" long, 3'3" wide and she's asking $600 for the whole snatch. I just bought it, but I should have read the description closer because she notes that it "has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom". Story of my life right there, always getting the scuffed and stained vaginas. Oh well, guess it's still better than a penis.
Uncensored pics after the jump. Woowoo, upholstered vagina!
Continue Reading " Female Nether Regions Couch Is Way Icky "
Jan 18 2008 Backyard Cat Looks Like Backyard Torture
The Backyard Cat product is a weighted bag that hangs from a little harness and trains your cat not to jump. It also trains your cat to be depressed and miserable. It looks like torture and costs $18 - $22 depending on the size of your cat. It was designed specifically to prevent your pet from jumping over a fence and leaving you. Which, if you buy one of these, it will want to do more than ever. From the company's FAQs:
Is it uncomfortable?Because the Backyard Cat cable is long enough to drag on the ground, it doesn't apply any strain to the cat. The force of dragging is applied along the length of their bodies.
Now listen, just because something isn't physically uncomfortable (although I'm sure this bag is anyways) doesn't mean it isn't uncomfortable in other ways. Take my wedding ring for instance -- it's not really hurting my finger, but the damage it's doing to my life is immeasurable.
Product Page click on 'product' then 'view demo' for the sandbag in action
thanks to Josh, who is like the patron saint of poontang, for the tip
Jan 18 2008 Soft Dark Lord Of The Sith: Puppet Palpatine
Darth Sidious is tired of his a-hole reputation and is making a move to try cleaning up his name. Enter Puppet Palpatine, a softer, gentler Dark Lord Of The Sith. The emperor answers questions from his subjects ranging in topic from weaponry to picking up ladies using the Force. In this video he's explaining the alleged design flaw in the Death Star. Oh my god my roommate just walked through here on his way to the kitchen and he was naked. I swear if he goes for the last Pop Tart I'll kill him. And believe it or not, it won't be the first time I've had to explain why my roommate is naked and dead on the kitchen floor with a half-eaten Pop Tart. That's the way the last one went too. I guess they don't read the sign. It's right there by the pantry and is clearly written.
Please don't eat my freaking Pop Tarts or I swear I will Force-choke you to death like Vader does.
Your roommate,I mean it I will kill you.
Ask Palpatine
Jan 18 2008 MacBook Air Manila Envelope Sadly A Reality
Remember the notorious manila envelope used to display the new MacBook Air's incredibly thin dimensions? Well now you can actually buy one. Well, you've always been able to buy manila envelopes, but now you can get a fleece-lined vinyl one made to protect your precious Air. Called the AirMail, it runs $30, is made by two crazy people, and ships out as soon as the new Mac does. Which is pretty soon. But not before I finish this post. There, done. Ha, beat that Apple. You so slow.
Thanks to Lindsey, who is too beautiful to descibe with my limited vocabulary, for the tip
Jan 17 2008 Wow, I've Seen It All: Infidelity Home Test Kit
For anyone out there that feels like their significant other might be unfaithful, there's the Checkmate Infidelity Home Test. For $50 you too can own your very own CSI-esque spooge detection kit. Good for up to ten samples, the kit determines if there have been any questionable fluids on items such as undergarments. Gross. Whatever happened to the old fashioned screaming accusation session? That's how you get the truth out of a lover, lots of yelling. Eventually they start crying and admitting to things. Sometimes they'll even admit to things you didn't even suspect them of (this sucks and often adds to the pain). I for one don't need this kit though, because I know my girlfriend is faithful. Partly because she's such a great girl (I love you honey), but mostly because she's chained to the water heater in the basement.
Checkmate Infidelity Home Testing Kit Offers CSI Style Faithfulness Test [tfts]
Thanks again to Melissa, who has never been unfaithful, for the tip
Jan 17 2008 Man Mods Motorcycle To Look Like Mini Jet
A man took a Honda Goldwing motorcycle and, with a bunch of modification, made it look like a little jet. It's pretty awesome looking, and the guy who made it is a nutcase. That being said, I want to take it for a spin. But first I need some bombs and missiles up in that mother. The dude says if you went over 80 - 85 MPH it might take off, which I doubt, but hey, the man can dream can't he? I know I dream all the time. Like last night I dreamed I was totally doing it with an ex-girlfriend. When I woke up all my current girlfriend's stuff was moved out and I had two black eyes and my testicles hanging in a blender. There was a note that said if I moved the blender would puree my balls. I figured it was some sort of Saw joke. It wasn't. R.I.P. My nuts.
Honda Motorcycle Modded Into Jet Fighter [boingboing]
Jan 17 2008 Ridiculous: Disintegrator Rubberband Gun
I remember some crazy old guy selling rubberband guns at the fair, but never anything that looked like this. "Composed of 479 pieces, the Disintegrator shoots rubber bands up to 22 feet at a blistering rate of 40 per second. Its 24 revolving barrels hold up to 288 standard-sized #36 bands, and the gun can be fired from a tripod, a table mount or from the hip." I'm not sure if holding it makes everyone look stupid, or if the kid in the picture was just born that way. Anyhoo, the unit took two months to build and takes 5 hours to charge for 7 minutes use. Which is pretty crummy. But if you want to build your own you can check the link to the construction page after the jump. I thought about building one, before I realized that real guns are cooler and do a lot more damage. Watch -- *BLAM* See, that shot almost took my other arm clean off. Damn that's a lot of blood. Wow, it's really gushing. I'm feeling a little light-headed all of a sudden. *THUD*
Another picture and a video that you should watch after the jump. But skip to around 1:30 to get past all the boring stuff.
Continue Reading " Ridiculous: Disintegrator Rubberband Gun "
Jan 17 2008 Space Station To Drop Paper Plane To Earth
Japan is at it again, this time planning to launch a paper spaceplane from the International Space Station and having it travel through the atmosphere and land on Earth.
The researchers are scheduled to begin testing the strength and heat resistance of an 8 centimeter (3.1 in) long prototype on January 17 in an ultra-high-speed wind tunnel at the University of Tokyo’s Okashiwa campus (Chiba prefecture). In the tests, the origami glider — which is shaped like the Space Shuttle and has been treated to withstand intense heat — will be subjected to wind speeds of Mach 7, or about 8,600 kilometers (5,300 miles) per hour.
What in the hell did they treat that paper airplane with? Obviously some sort of alien goo. Because I tried flying a paper airplane through a fire once, and that thing burnt up real quick. Now I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but I think it's safe to say that airplane is going to kill us all. I'm building a bunker and starting a cult. Mostly just to have sex with my followers, but this works too.
Origami spaceplane to launch from space station [pinktentacle]
Jan 17 2008 LaCie Little Disk Drive Is Small, Holds Data
We've posted LaCie drives in the past, and the company always seems to go for style points with their designs. The Little Disk is LaCie's newest addition, and comes in 30GB and 40GB capacities ($130 and $160, respectively). As you can see, when the bottom is removed it has a retractable USB cable for connectivity. I actually like this so much that I went out and got one. I guess I should have read the packaging though, because I thought I was buying a futuristic Zippo. Turns out the thing can't light a cigarette for shit.
LaCie Little Disk - 30-40GB Capacity, Zippo-Like Dimensions [ohgizmo]
Jan 17 2008 Lightsaber Lamp Gets Knocked Over Easily
Star Wars Lightsaber Lamps are made by NCSX and cost $23. They stand 16" tall, come in green or red and run off AAA batteries. You know what else they run off? Your girlfriend, because she won't stick around long if you start decorating your pad with these things. Actually, that might not be entirely true. If you keep one as a bedside lamp, you may be able to introduce her to the pleasure of the dark side. If you catch my drift. Did you catch it? No? I'm saying use it as a dildo.
lightsaber lamps for true star wars geeks [technabob]
Jan 17 2008 The LapDome Should Have Never Been Made
The LapDome is a tent for your laptop so you can see the screen when you're computing in places you shouldn't be. They run $30 - $80 depending on which ridiculous model you choose and are totally not worth every cent. My rule of thumb for laptop use is as follows: if you can't see the screen you should close the laptop and enjoy the outdoors. I mean that couple in the picture is at a nice pool with a diving board. What kind of damn fool uses a laptop by the pool when you could be playing that game where someone throws a beach ball and you jump off the diving board and try to catch it. I mean that shit is fun. Way fun. Just make sure there's water in the pool first. Trust me. R.I.P. "Pool Games" Pete.
Thanks to Anna, who is sexy as hell, for the tip
Jan 17 2008 Sewer Doormats Add Slum To Your Porch
Feet First doormats are made to look like some of the world's most famous manhole covers. They're 24" round, made out of 100% recycled truck tires, and cost an unknown amount of money. I actually want one, because I'm setting a booby trap for Ninja Turtles. Once I catch one (probably Michelangelo, he's an idiot) I'll torture the bastard until he tells me where Master Splinter is hiding. Once I've located Splinter I'll make him teach me some wicked ninja moves. Then I'll kick my roommate's ass for always stealing my Fudge Rounds.
UPDATE: It appears someone had already thought of the idea, and this company is just knocking them off and expanding the line. Ah, capitalism.
thanks to Sebastian, who could kick my roommate's ass for me if he was here, for the tip
Jan 16 2008 Magic Fireballs Are So Freaking Awesome
Learn how to make your own magic fireballs with a piece of cloth, some string, and lighter fluid! Check out the video, they're freaking awesome and don’t look that dangerous. I'm running to the gas station right now to get some lighter fluid so I can make some. I'll update and let you know if they're as fun as they look.
UPDATE: I burnt the freaking house down.
Magic Fireballs are Awesome, Not as Dangerous as You'd Think [gizmodo]
Jan 16 2008 Toilet Graphics: White Porcelain Is So Lame
Someone on Etsy is selling these Toilet Graphics for $20 a pop. As you can see they're stickers you slap on the john to add some flair to otherwise plain white porcelain. There are a number of options like SCUBA divers, aquatic life, bikes and scooters, and my personal least favorite -- cowboys. Thankfully when you have the lid up you can't see him. Because one time I tried to pee with a real-life cowboy staring at my six-shooter, and it was a very Brokeback experience to say the least.
Toilet Graphics Add Some Color to Your Latrine [uberreview]
Jan 16 2008 I'm No Perv, I Swear!: Portable Subway Straps
Well I'm sure you all know about the subway groping problem that Japan has. If not, Japan has a problem with men playing grab-ass (with women) on the subway. Well now there's a solution for Japanese men aiming to keep a clean reputation -- portable subway straps (525 yen, ~$5). What you do is, uh, hold the thing -- that way women won't accuse you of touching them because you're holding on to a giant plastic door knocker. I recommend getting two just to be safe. Because while the guy on the far right of the picture is clearly not doing any groping with his right hand, I'm pretty sure his left is knuckle deep in ass. But to his credit, it's probably his own.
Portable subway strap shows you're no groper [pinktentacle]
Jan 16 2008 Mineral Oil Computer Cooling: Sure, Why Not
Take one computer, drop it into an aquarium, fill with mineral oil and presto! -- a mineral oil cooled computer case. I decided to make one of my own and I've got to say it's pretty cool except for the fact that all my fish keep dying. What do they not like mineral oil or something? The man responsible for the mod had this to say: "after about 2 hours, the temperature settled at a new maximum of 84C on the CPU under load." That's pretty impressive, seeing how the temperature of my CPU settled at broken under heavy load. And by 'under heavy load' I mean I sat on it.
A video tutorial to make your own after the jump.
Continue Reading " Mineral Oil Computer Cooling: Sure, Why Not "
Jan 16 2008 Super Mario Shirt Features Double Entendre
This Super Mario inspired shirt from 80sTees is dirty because of the double meaning in the message. While it's perfectly fine for Mario to hit a couple question blocks, it's the other meaning that makes it so naughty. My mom would never in a million years let me buy this shirt. Because when you say "I'd hit that" what you mean is that you'd "ride that wave", "get mad play", and/or "tap that". All of which have sexual connotations -- and that's just tacky. What is not tacky is the t-shirt I have that features a little cartoon man stealing a TV from a burning building with the phrase "I'd attack that ass like a looter in a riot". That thing is all class.
mario question mark t-shirt: i'd hit that! [technabob]
Jan 16 2008 Handpresso: For (Cold) Espresso Anywhere
The Handpresso is what is born when a rogue bike pump makes its way into your house from the garage and humps your coffee maker. It's a portable espresso machine -- all you need is a little coffee pod filter thing and some water. Where you get hot water on the go is a mystery to me, unless you tote a thermos around all the time. The unit costs 99€ (~$145) and could be worth it if you're a die-hard espresso fanatic that can't go 30 minutes without a fix. I'll pass, because I don't like espresso due to the caffeine in it. Caffeine, after all, is a drug -- and drugs are bad. Now a portable still for making moonshine -- that my friends, would be something worth considering.
Two videos of the thing after the jump. But a warning: the second is a little suggestive. And by 'a little suggestive' I mean it suggests that espresso comes out of a man's penis in a movie theater.
Continue Reading " Handpresso: For (Cold) Espresso Anywhere "
Jan 16 2008 Now Showing: The MacBook Air Commercial
Well I'm (sadly) back from Mexico after my MacWorld adventures, and what do you know -- Apple is flashing their new MacBook Air commercial all over the place trying to get me to buy one. Now don't get me wrong, I'd accept one for free, but I don't exactly have $1,800 to spend on a laptop that is so light it'll float off the desk and into the stratosphere. This commercial teaches us that the MacBook Air can fit into a manila envelope. Now how many times are you going to stuff your laptop into an unprotected sleeve and ship it around anyways? Those envelopes are only rated for shipping analog computers. And by analog computers I mean paper.
Thanks to Andy, who is so tough he actually breathes MacBook Air, for the tip
Jan 16 2008 Make Documents Real Official: Sign In Blood
At first I wasn't going to post this because blood and syringes give me the heebie-jeebies, but I decided to anyways because it'll make me stronger. Bob Partington designed the blood pen that, using a syringe and little motor, writes in blood. Pretty gross huh? I think so. You know there's a word used to describe a weirdo like Bob, and that word is sick bastard. Sure I've signed contracts in blood before, but those were with the devil. And I'm reneging anyways. Like I'd really trade my soul for a box of Triscuits and can of spray cheese. Get real devil.
A video of the action, including drawing blood, after the jump. Heads up: It's nasty.
Continue Reading " Make Documents Real Official: Sign In Blood "
Jan 15 2008 MacWorld 2008, Introducing The MacBook Air
The new MacBook Air isn't actually invisible like I first suspected. Nor does it float. It's just way thin and has no optical drive. The Air rocks a 13.3" screen, is 0.76 inches at the thickest, weighs 3 pounds, and features a multi-touch trackpad. It comes with an ultrathin 80GB hard drive, but you've got the option for a 64GB solid-state drive if you prefer yours with no moving parts. Part of the Air's appeal is its incredible wireless diversity. You can install software on the machine by "borrowing" the disk drive of another computer and having it send the data to the Air. You can also transfer files wirelessly from another computer or the new Time Capsule external HD/Wi-Fi station. The 1.6GHz with 80GB standard hard drive starts at $1,800. The 1.8GHz with 64GB solid-state hard drive starts at $3,100. Both models begin shipping in two weeks and neither has a removable battery.
I apologize for not being able to post this earlier, but I was kicked out of MacWorld for "being a complete dick" and "peeing on the floor", both of which I contest. While I did punch that overzealous fanboy (see picture), it was because the little bastard kept stepping on my new shoes (that and his haircut). And as for the public urination charge -- that was just the ziplock of bourbon I had taped to my leg leaking. Long story short: I made out with two female cops, jumped out of a speeding police car, caught the last wild unicorn with my bare hands, flew it across the border to Mexico, sold the unicorn for a bottle of spanish fly and admission to a donkey show, and now I'm in a bar drinking cheap tequila and blogging. And that, my friends, was MacWorld 2008 for the Geekologie writer. See you next year Steve!
The MacBook Air [engadget]
Jan 15 2008 Awesome Art: A Gin And Tonic Fog Room!
Well we've posted some unusual alcohol-inspired art in the past, and here comes another -- The GAT Fog. The GAT stands for, get this, Gin And Tonic! It's a fog made out of gin and tonic -- brilliant! I mean I've been looking for easier ways to get drunk, and alcohol-soaked suppositories have started to chafe my bum. Now I'll just make a fog machine and fill 'er to the brim with bourbon. Oh happy day! I'm going to try it right now, I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: Ofkay its eems haave worksed. iT FEEL ALSEEP! zand i woken up PLIZAATARD. SOMG -l - i'm Dyin!g [email protected]?
Jan 15 2008 LOTR: Battle Of Pelennor Fields Is All Candy
Well some guy and his brother made a recreation of The Battle Of Pelennor Fields from The Return Of The King entirely out of candy. And to think all I made over Christmas was a lame gingerbread whorehouse. From the look of things they did a pretty good job, and I must say it ranks high on a scale of deliciousness. I'm actually speechless. Partly because this is so cool, but mostly because I just scarfed a bunch of gummy orcs and the White Chocolate Pretzel Tree of Gondor.
A bunch more pictures, a video, and a link to the dude's website (with more pics) under the cut.
Continue Reading " LOTR: Battle Of Pelennor Fields Is All Candy "
Jan 15 2008 Domino Drives Show You What You're Packin'
Brazilian designer Marcos Breder came up with these domino-inspired flash drives. Two drives lock together to form a domino, and each individual drive lights up with dots to indicate how many gigs of space are filled. Pretty clever idea, but it would be pretty annoying trying to get the right amount of data on each drive just to have a functional set of dominoes. Which is the point of these right?
Jan 15 2008 Voltaic Generator Bag Charges Your Laptop
The Voltaic Generator is a laptop charging bag that Voltaic Systems is rolling out this spring.
The solar panel generates up to 14.7 watts, powerful enough to fully charge a typical laptop from a day of direct sunlight. The included battery pack efficiently stores the equivalent of a typical laptop charge and automatically delivers the required output voltages.
The bag is capable of holding a laptop up to 17" and is made out of recycled PET plastics. It will make you feel good for being a little greener. It will also make you feel poor for costing $599. Now many of you know how green I am (only peeing in the sink/shower), but I just can't afford a $600 laptop charger that only works in nice weather when you're outside or by a window. What I can afford is a $1.00 burger off the value menu. Well, almost -- I'm still $0.60 short.
Jan 15 2008 Hate Wading In Dirty Clothes?: WARDROM
The WARDROM is a conceptual organizational system by Paula Studio in Rome, Italy. The idea is that you just toss all your clothes at the thing and they hang there, keeping your floor clean. I've got to tell you, if there's one thing I love seeing upon entering a woman's room, it's dirty clothes hanging on the wall. That shit is so hot. It even inspired my first art exhibit -- 'Clothes The Geekologie Writer Stole From His Apartment Complex's Laundry Facility And Hung On A Wall'. It's on display right now in my bedroom if you want to come over and see. Constructive criticism and donations are always welcome. Requests from neighbors that I return their clothes are not.
WARDROM Is Organization Through Chaos [ohgizmo]
Jan 15 2008 Vacuum Has UV Light Underneath To Kill Stuff
Available from Hammacher Schlemmer (pronounced ham sandwich smeller) the Germ-Eliminating Upright Vacuum has a UV-C light in its base to zap stuff dead as you roll over it. The unit costs $500 and the bulb is rated for 8,000 hours of use, which is a whole lot of vacuuming. I hope when I'm dying I don't look back on my life and realize I spent 8,000 precious hours vacuuming. That would depress me. Seeing how the device is advertised as "the only upright vacuum that has a built-in 35-watt UV-C light in its base that eliminates..." really makes me wonder if this UV-C light is a good idea. And if it is then why is Haymaker Slummer the only one selling it? It's like being the only kid on the block selling lemonade made with urine. It's not always a good idea to be an innovator. But who knows, maybe sucking just isn't enough sometimes.
Thanks to Melissa, who has seen some pretty wack movies in her time, for the tip
Jan 15 2008 Hate Waking Up: Fire Bell Alarm Clock Hack
I don't have trouble waking up in the morning because I have a cat that lets me know it’s time to rise by sticking his b-hole to my face. But if you don't have such a considerate cat then maybe you need something a little more serious. How about a fire bell alarm clock? I can guarantee it's loud enough to wake you up or give you a heart attack. While it looks pretty easy to make, I wouldn't suggest it unless you're really hard of hearing or just hate life. While I may install one in my girlfriend's shed to ensure she's not late for work, I'll be sticking (literally) to my kitty’s suction a-hole alarm.
Video tutorial after the jump.
Continue Reading " Hate Waking Up: Fire Bell Alarm Clock Hack "
Jan 14 2008 Simple Music Sequencer Uses Ball Bearings
We've seen music sequencers in the past, but nothing that rivals the BeatBearing for simplicity and number of balls. The unit was designed by Peter Bennett during his studies of new techniques people can use to interact with musical instruments.
Sequences are composed by placing the metal orbs in a grid of receptor cups which represent the different rhythm tracks (kick, snare, hi-hat and cowbell) along the vertical axis, and beats along the horizontal.
So it works like any other sequencer, but with balls. And let's face the facts people: balls make everything awesome. I have balls and I'm awesome. Pinball machines, ballpits, and ballgames are all awesome. The balls on that chick from last ni -- oh god no.
A worthwhile video of the thing in action after the cowbell.
Continue Reading " Simple Music Sequencer Uses Ball Bearings "
Jan 14 2008 Overkill: Opening A Beer With A Chainsaw
Now you know how much I hate to brag, but I can bite the top off a beer bottle if I need to. I sure as hell don't need a damn chansaw to do the job for me. And if the guy in the video is any indication of the type of person that opens a beer bottle with a chainsaw, that type of person is an idiot. I do like the noise the top makes though when it flies off. However I was hoping the dude would do a little more cutting, like, oh, all of his toes off. You know, the ones protected by his black sock and sandal.
Beer Bottle Opened with Chainsaw [techeblog]
Jan 14 2008 Egg Fryers Shape Your Eggs Into Weapons
Urban Trends has designed a line of egg fryers that shape your morning eggs into weapons of minimal destruction. Now I'm not really sure why they decided on gun molds instead of barnyard animals, but I think it had something to do with those anti-drug commercials they used to play during my childhood. You know, the one with the egg that was supposed to be your brain. They'd toss it into a frying pan, and that was supposed to be your brain on drugs. Damn I couldn't wait to get my hands on drugs after seeing those commercials. Raw eggs are disgusting, but a fried egg -- delicious. Unfortunately the resulting drug abuse has made my brain a highly sought after treat for zombies.
Your loved one will finally get the hint with the gun-shaped egg maker [dvice]
Jan 14 2008 SkullCandy Headphones Feature MP3 Player
SkullCandy, who has been featured here before, was showing off a new product at the recent CES -- Double Agent headphones that have an SD slot and incorporated MP3 player. The units are rechargeable, take any size SD card, and are controlled with the buttons on the side of one of the phones. They're supposed to hit streets sometime in March or April, but no word on price. I'm definitely getting a pair to help drown out the demonic voice I hear otherwise. It's awful -- this evil demon tells me to do terrible things like 'the dishes' and 'the laundry'. Once it even made me mow the lawn. I'm really starting to wish I'd never married it.
Double Agent: new headphones with SD card from SkullCandy [ubergizmo]
Jan 14 2008 RockBand Stage Kit Is Absolutely Ridiculous
Well GameStop is now taking preorders for the RockBand Stage Kit that ships out on June 23rd. What is the Rockband Stage Kit you ask? Well, it's a $100 add-on to the game that provides an "interactive light and smoke stage show" synced to the game while you play. How awesome is that! Not very awesome is it? No, I guess not. Still, if you never made it in the music industry and want to get really really high and pretend you did, then it might help. And by "it might help" I mean it'll give you a seizure and make you tumble off the stage you built in your parent's basement.
rock band stage kit adds lights and smoke as you jam [technabob]
Jan 14 2008 Unskilled Modder Makes Portable Gamecube
Well last week we posted a pretty sweet looking portable Dreamcast, and this week we're posting a pretty bitter looking portable Gamecube. Now I hate to rag on any modder, because at least they're trying, but this person should have tried harder. I mean it looks like it was carved out of a huge bar of soap. That being said, I want it badly.
Thanks to Andy, who knows a quality mod when he sees one, for the picture
Jan 14 2008 Sky Commuter Flying Car Sells On eBay
Want you get your hands on a flying vehicle? Well you may have to settle for a Moller craft, because by the time this gets posted an auction for the last Sky Commuter Prototype test craft that remains in existence today will be over. And I apologize for that in case you were going to bid, but let's be honest, you weren't. There was a lot of activity in the last half hour of the auction though, with a bidder raising the price from $60,000 to $131,700. I was skeptical because that bidder had 0 feedback. Then I realized it was me.
The development of this advanced technology and project started back in the mid 1980's. Design and engineering was created by Boeing engineer's in Arlington Washington. Some 60 investors and well over $6,000.000.00 in R&D and production yielded only (3) concept test ships before the plant was shut down for reasons not listed here. The sad end was all and anything that was in the hangar was taken and or destroyed. This sole example of this technology, Advancements and investments are present and was saved in this single craft. The ship was not at the base location at the time or it to would have been destroyed.
Damn that's f'ed up, destroying flying vehicles. What in the hell is the matter with these people? I'd eat my own right arm for a flying car, and there are people out there just trashing them. That makes me sick. And so does this cereal I'm eating. Well it's not so much cereal as pasta shells and bourbon, but I figured it'd still be good. It's definitely not.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures and a link to the (now over) auction.
Jan 14 2008 Cufflinks Let Others Know Your Availability
Much to my chagrin I bought a shirt over the weekend that requires cufflinks. I was drunk and thought I was in the electronics department, so I was throwing money around like I was going to get hit by a bus that afternoon and die (which I almost did). Well at any rate I'm stuck with it. But thankfully I'm not stuck with a set of $155 Tateossian Sexuality Cufflinks.
The Tateossian Sexuality Cufflinks come with phrases such as 'Desperate', 'Adulterous', 'Married', ‘Divorced’, ‘Available’, ‘Curious’ and ‘Swinger’ and are sure to serve not only as particularly stylish cufflinks but as potential invaluable ice-breakers at parties.
Yeah, totally stylish and a great ice-breaker. Whatever ice could possibly be broken with these cufflinks is best left intact. Because breaking it will send you plunging into the murky depths of Lake Masterbatonia, not to the Kingdom of Poonville like you expected.
Thanks to Melissa, whose cufflinks are set to 'Stun'-ning, for the tip.
Jan 11 2008 OMG!: Custom Master Chief Transformer
First there was the Spartan Master Chief costume on eBay, then there was the female Master Chief figurine, and now somebody went and made a Master Chief Transformer and has put it up on the auction block.
You are looking at a very special auction for a 6" tall Transformers Custom Master Chief (AKA Spartan Prime) APC 117 Armored Personnel Carrier. This figure has been repainted to match Master Chief himself. He has multiple points of articulation and has also been sealed, meaning you can pose him in all sorts of awesome poses. Instructions are included because these figures can be hard to figure out. This guy also comes with an assortment of weapons just like the ones in the game. He also comes with a miniature version of Master Chief and an alien. Master Chief has two hidden missile bays along with some hidden grenades and pistol. But keep in mind this is a custom and no custom is perfect so be careful when posing him. The details really bring the character to life and must be seen in person, Plus I am not a very good photographer so the pictures do not do this custom any justice! Master Chief will look great on your shelf next to the rest of your collection as an accurate portrayal of the character.
Well hot damn -- I want, I want! The auction started at $9.99 but is now up to $107.50 with 3 days and 6 hours left. I imagine it's going to go pretty high, but I must have him regardless of cost. OMG, OMG, I am getting so excited! Bo-bo-BO-BONER ALERT!!! Code f'ing red, someone call the doctor -- I am going ca-razy! Aye, aye, aye, Aiyeeeeeeeee!!!
UPDATE: After this post the Geekologie writer was found dead on the couch with a laptop. He smelled and looked like shit but died with a smile on his face. He won't be missed, but will be held accountable for his $6 billion bid.
A whole bunch more pictures after the jump, along with a link to the auction.
Have a good weekend everybody!
Jan 11 2008 Laptop Bookbag Finds WiFi Signals, Strength
Well we've seen watches and shirts that have WiFi detection capabilities, and now there's a more practical one -- a laptop bag. Made in a variety of styles (bookbag, messenger bag, luggage-style roll around), each bag has a little LCD readout on top that indicates when a WiFi connection has been located and displays its signal strength. The bookbag goes for 34,40€ (~$51). Or you can save the money and do what I do, which is walk around with your laptop out and open at all times. Sure I've broken several from dropping them, but I'll be damned if I'm caught wearing a ridiculous bag. . I mean, bags are for that crazy lady who pushes a shopping cart full of them up and down the street and smells bad. That’s why we call her the bag lady. And it’s not a positive connotation. Although I did talk to her when I was stumbling home drunk one night. I ended up slipping her the tongue. Yeah, until she bit it off and swallowed it. Romantic, I know -- I think we're soulmates.
thanks to Melissa, who is so so so so so beautiful, for the tip
Jan 11 2008 RoomWizard Meeting Room Scheduler Is Iffy
The RoomWizard is a $2,000+ piece of crap. It sits outside a conference room and lets you know if the room is in use. You can use the touchscreen to reserve the room, view the upcoming schedule, or try to break it by punching the thing while wearing a heavy ring. Red and green LEDs let you know if the room is in use, and the thing can be accessed via the computer at your desk and synced with Lotus Notes and Microsoft Outlook. Wow, all this for over $2,000. It's a deal too good to be passed up. Screw using a big piece of posterboard with a pen taped to a fork taped to a string taped to the wall for room signups. That is so analog. That is also so the way we do things around there. Except I hang a sock on the doorknob too, to let people know when I'm having a very special meeting. You know, one with the boss's secretary my wife during her lunchbreak a potted plant. You know, the slutty one that used to hang out by the water cooler.
RoomWizard Scheduler For Busy Offices [ohgizmo]
Jan 11 2008 Screw The World: Styrofoam Furniture
Kwangho Lee is an artist who decided to make a couch out of Styrofoam. As you can see it looks, uh, like a couch ripped out of a huge block of Styrofoam. He made it by molding large sheets of the stuff together, allegedly from a recycled source. I’m moved, and I really think it makes a powerful statement. A statement about how freaking stupid a couch made out of Styrofoam is. It would be easy to lift though, and Styrofoam does get warmer the longer you sit on it. But it's not worth it. Besides, I already have a couch made out of Styrofoam. Well, it's more just a pile of the old school Big Mac containers McDonalds used to use. But you could sit in them if you really wanted. Did I mention they smell like complete shit? Because they do. I think there may be some decade-old burgers rotting in there somewhere.
Two more pictures of Styrofoam seating after the jump.
Jan 11 2008 ATAX Survival: You're The Last Man Standing
The ATAX Survival Tool was designed by survivalist Ron Wood and has a lot of features that may come in handy if you find yourself the last human on earth (or drunk and lost in the woods).
You can either use it as a knife or lash it to a stick and use it like an axe. The high-carbon steel main blade measures 4-1/2″ with the tool’s overall length coming in at 5-1/2″. With the various metrics laser-etched on the blade, you can tell time (like with a sundial), measure angles, and judge distances. With some slingshot tubing, you can turn the ATAX into an arrow launcher for hunting game. The micarta handle conceals a small storage area for various survival items like matches and twine and MacGyver brand paper clips.
The unit sells for between $150-$200. The only problem I have with the thing is that it's impractical. If everyone else in the world is dead, then chances are there were zombies and/or vampires involved. So this thing should have tools specifically designed for the mass destruction of said beasts. I'd take this survival kit over the ATAX any day. And not just because a gun is included. Okay, mostly because a gun is included. Well that, and a Plexiglass shield.
ATAX Survival Tool [boingboing]
Jan 11 2008 You Didn't Go Under?: Iomega Back With REV
I thought Iomega went under after my 100MB Zip drive broke and I called them to complain for a few hours about the much needed documents (read: porno) that I now didn't have access to. Well it turns out I was wrong, the company still exists. They were flashing around their new product -- the REV, at the recent CES. "Instead of 100MB, the removable cartridges now hold 70GB and are apparently pretty durable since the read and write heads are housed in the drive itself, with the cartridges containing the data platter." Sound good? Yeah, I'm not getting that excited either. Especially seeing how the unit costs $600 and disks are $70 a pop. I'll just stick to my conventional method of data storage, my own brain. Who needs disks when you have an incredible mind that can remember anything? I can recreate virtually any document or picture at another computer using my incredible memory. Okay, now where's that ENTER key? I know it's here somewhere. Ah yes, there she blows. See -- brainpower baby.
Oh No! Iomega's Zip Drive Is Back! [ohgizmo]
Jan 11 2008 Man Builds Art Slotcar Tracks, They Look Fun
Martin Markeli is an artist that builds a lot of customized slotcar tracks. Some of his tracks are pretty intricate, which explains their up to €10,000 (~$14,800) pricetag. I know I want one, but I'll probably just work on building my own for way, way cheaper. Mine is going to have Ninja Turtles and Barbie dolls standing around watching the race. I may even dress them up provocatively if I'm in the mood. Make sure to check out the extra pictures after the jump, along with the videos. But be warned -- the 3rd video is NSFW because Martin spliced pictures of naked women into it. Proving beyond a reasonable doubt that he's 10 year old.
And that the video won't last long on Youtube.
For the pictures and videos, follow me over the rainbow.
Continue Reading " Man Builds Art Slotcar Tracks, They Look Fun "
Jan 11 2008 Octopus Jeans Chair Looks Comfy, Sort Of
The Octopus is a product design from AtelierBLINK, a two-woman creative team out of France. The chair is made out of recycled jeans that can be buttoned together in a number of different forms, to ensure that your living room will look as ridiculous as you want it to. It's filled with polystyrene balls and looks scary, which make it the Octopus Beanbag Chair Of Death. It nonchalantly wraps its Levi 32" tentacles around you until you're immobile, then releases a school of dreaded trouser eels to finish you off.
thanks to Sebastian, who is so freaking cool, for the tip
Jan 10 2008 World's Cheapest Car Unveiled, Costs $2,500
It's official folks, here comes the world's cheapest car - The Tata Nano. The car was unveiled today at India's largest automotive show and has received much attention. The car is powered by a 2-cylinder, 33 horsepower motor, and has a top speed right around 60 MPH. It has four doors, seats five, has seatbelts but no radio, air conditioning, or airbags, and is basically a deathtrap. However, in a country where "two-wheeled scooters...are often crammed with entire families", it's definitely a step up in the safety department. And for $2,500 it's hard to beat. However I would recommend they change the name if they plan on selling it over here, because where I'm from Tata Nano is slang for a really, really small breast. Like my wife's right one. Oh no I didn't. Did I? Did I really go there? I think I did. Good burn Geekologie writer! Oh, good backing over the Geekologie writer's nuts with your car, Geekologie writer's wife. Touché.
A couple more pictures and a video of the car after the jump.
Continue Reading " World's Cheapest Car Unveiled, Costs $2,500 "
Jan 10 2008 Don't Know What To Think: Mario World Halo
This is a video of a hybrid Mario game with some 2D Halo enemies thrown in. During the video there's a bunch of text mentioning the improvements it'll undergo to make it better. I don't really know what to think of the whole thing. However I do know that the sounds the enemies make when you kill them almost made me shoot myself. So they could work on that. Oh, and you know what else they could work on? My car -- the damn thing won't start.
Mario World Halo [wiinintendo]
thanks to Chachoregard, who is cool, for the tip
Jan 10 2008 Man Chronicles Gaming Systems He's Owned
Todd Levin is a man, a man who has written an article about every gaming console he's ever owned. It's a very intimate account.
The joystick’s distinct shape provided me with hours of sophisticated entertainment, especially as I blindly turned the corner of sexual awareness. When Beth Rubenstein came over to “play Atari” in our renovated basement, our gaming would always quickly deteriorate into marathon sessions of hard, closed-mouth kissing—because tongue kissing was disgusting—followed by hilarious hijinks such as me chasing Beth around the weight bench with the joystick tucked between my legs, like Jane Gumb trapped in the world of Tron.
I’m not sure who would have been more disappointed to discover that last fact: my parents, who tried their best not to raise a pervert; or my brother and sister, who had no idea they were playing Activision’s Pitfall with my surrogate boner.
Wow, genius. I never thought of using a 2600 controller for a surrogate boner. I always used a Wiffle Ball bat, because I thought that's what it'd look like when I grew up. Wow, no where close. Should have used one of those cinnamon flavored toothpicks.
No Console For Old Men [boingboing]
Article [themorningnews]
Jan 10 2008 Taser Features MP3 Player, Hooker Styling
Taser, a company that focuses its efforts on developing products that shock people, is releasing a new line of tasers and had them on display at the CES. The Taser C2 features an MP3 player holster that stores 1GB of music, so you can get your groove on while you watch a would-be attacker wriggle in the street. While this may appeal to some, I have a few bones to pick. First of all, if you're listening to music you're going to be a lot more susceptible to attack, seeing how it would be easier to sneak up on you. And secondly, I tried this system and ended up jolting my penis with 50,000 volts when I tried to skip a song.
Introducing the Taser mp3 player [metro]
Thanks to Sebastian, whose story will never end, for the tip
Jan 10 2008 Thanks Grandma!: Zelda Quilt Slays My Heart
Carolina Patchworks, who was also responsible for the Galaga quilt featured a month ago, went and outdid themselves with a sweet Zelda quilt. It's weird just yesterday I was wanting a pair of Zelda shoes, and now I'm wanting a Zelda quilt. As you can see Link is about to get blasted in the head by a Octorok. The Darknut is there because the bottom part is supposed to resemble a dungeon level. The 64" square quilt costs $475 and is available on Etsy if you have that kind of money. I don't, so I'm stuck with the Link I drew on my stained bedsheet with magic marker. I mean it's pretty good, but he tends to smear whenever I wet the bed.
A close-up of Link after the jump.
Continue Reading " Thanks Grandma!: Zelda Quilt Slays My Heart "
Jan 10 2008 Photon Light Boards Are Freaking Sweet
Photon Light Boards are skateboards with incorporated lighting designs so you can pimp it large while you're skating. They come in all sorts of different designs and range in price from $110 - $120 for the board only. You can get a complete setup with trucks and wheels for $200. The best part is that they're rechargeable, so you'll be glowing for the entirety of the board's life. I think they look pretty damn sweet, especially the ones that appear to have headlights and taillights. I dig that. Because let's face it, skateboarding in the dark is dangerous. And so is humping a polar bear. I've tried both I've skated in the dark, and believe me, the results can be disastrous.
Because today is video day at Geekologie there's two videos after the jump, along with a link to the company's website.
Jan 10 2008 John Deere Walking Tractor Is Wickity Wack
This video came out awhile ago, but I'd never seen it before, so maybe you haven't either. It's a tractor made by the now-defuct John Deere subsidiary Plustech in Finland. I find it shocking that the company went under after making such badass alien walking machines. Who needs farm machinery anyways when you can have a freakish walking tractor thing? Farmers huh? Yeah, I guess you could be right. I also guess you're at a computer. Now who's right? This guy. And don't give me any of that "I'm on a mobile device" crap either, because you're lying.
Two more videos of the awesomeness after the jump.
Continue Reading " John Deere Walking Tractor Is Wickity Wack "
Jan 10 2008 FOZI Tripod Is Plastic, Foldable, Fits In Wallet
The FOZI tripod is a little piece of plastic you can keep in your wallet. When you need to take good naked pictures of yourself to send to internet love interests you fold it, insert tab A into tab receptacle B, and presto -- a tripod. It can hold cameras, phones and portable media devices at four different angles, depending on if you're going for an above the waist shot or the full monty. They cost $6 shipped in Australia and $9 to the US, Canada, UK or New Zealand. It might not be a bad idea to have a little plastic tripod in your wallet at all times. Could come in handy. Like the time I got drunk with Bigfoot and a chupacabra and wanted to take a group picture but didn't have a tripod. Oh those were good times. Well, until Bigfoot called Mr. Chupacabra a pussy. It was an epic battle, but Bigfoot went down in the end.
A video of the thing in action if you can't imagine how it works.
Continue Reading " FOZI Tripod Is Plastic, Foldable, Fits In Wallet "
Jan 9 2008 Tank Chair PWNS Powerchair, Hover Round
If you're anything like me you're drunk at 11 am and watching The Price Is Right like any normal person in their right mind. And if you are even more like me you get annoyed by all those damn Powerchair and Hover Round commercials with the geriatrics speeding around like bats out of hell on their motorized death traps. Well now there is an electric chair to beat all chairs -- the Tank Chair Mk II.
"Boasting a top speed of 5 mph, the Tank Chair Mk II has 24V, 2HP, 127RPM variable speed motor that gets its juice from four Optima Deep Cycle batteries. Its creator claims that the chair can even outpace a golf cart." Wait, wait, wait -- 5MPH, what the hell? I figured the thing would at least be good for 15-20MPH. Maybe if the Mk II ($15,000) sells well they'll up the ante. Because I can't very well mount a submachine gun and paint flames on something that only goes 5MPH. I'd be the laughing stock of the neighborhood. Which I kind of already am for parking my car in the neighbor's pool one night. I told him I was testing a new submarine car for the government, but he called the police anyways.
$15,000 Tank Chair for the disabled [bornrich]
Jan 9 2008 Johnny Lee Is My Hero: Headtracking With Wii
We saw Johnny Chung Lee make a huge multi-touch screen in his last installment, and now he's back at his Wii antics, this time making a sick virtual reality 3D headtracking system. It is freaking awesome.
Using the infrared camera in the Wii remote and a head mounted sensor bar (two IR LEDs), you can accurately track the location of your head and render view dependent images on the screen. This effectively transforms your display into a portal to a virtual environment. The display properly reacts to head and body movement as if it were a real window creating a realistic illusion of depth and space.
As a sidenote, Johnny Lee could pretty much explain anything to me and I think I would understand. Like with Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, I think I'm developing a man-crush.
Dear Johnny,
I think you are so cool. I was wondering if sometime you would like to hang out with me.
Yes No
(Please circle one and give back to me at my locker between classes)
Your (hopeful) friend,
The Geekologie Writer
Head Tracking for Desktop VR Displays using the WiiRemote [core77]
Jan 9 2008 RPM-1200 Is Cool, Made Of, Get This -- Junk!
Japanese artist Enoki Chu made this fine looking piece of art entirely out of polished metal junk, including drill bits, machine parts, and others. The whole piece looks like a futuristic cityscape and has a diameter of 15 feet and stands 11 feet tall. So it's a pretty good size. It's titled RPM-1200, but I'm renaming it Do Not Sit Here. Because it would hurt if you did. Like real bad. Serious pain. In your rear. Sit on a foam donut for two weeks and sleep face down bad. Like nightmares of a skyscraper up your ass bad.
Two more pictures after the jump, including a closer-up one.
Continue Reading " RPM-1200 Is Cool, Made Of, Get This -- Junk! "
Jan 9 2008 Woven Carbon Fiber Bike Frame Is Light
The Delta 7 Sports Arantix Mountain Bike features an IsoTruss carbon fiber frame. What the hell is that you ask? Well it's a frame made of hand-woven carbon fiber strands that are then wrapped in Kevlar and baked. Each one has over 1,672 feet of carbon fiber and takes over 300 hours to build. The resulting pyramidal structure of the frame makes it not only rugged but light -- a measly 2.75 pounds. Which is pretty light. You can get the whole bike for around $12,000 or just the frame for $7,000, but act quick if you want one, because they're only making 200 of them in 2008 due to the time intensive production. I'd totally get one but someone would steal it. My last bike got stolen off the carport and it was a $5 bike from the thriftstore. So I went and got another $10 one and have it sitting out there for the taking. Except this one has a frame packed with dynamite and a remote activator.
Tiny Carbon Fiber Pyramids Used For Lighter & Stronger Bike Frames [ohgizmo]
Jan 9 2008 Dell XPS Goes Blue Screen Of Death At CES
Well Dell was showing off their latest and greatest at the CES, including some systems running Crysis, and lo and behold an XPS system goes down in a blaze of Blue Screen Of Death. The funny thing is nobody seemed to do anything about it. It definitely sat there long enough for the Techeblog reporter to take a bunch of pictures. That is just completely unacceptable on Dell's behalf. Do they not train the employees displaying their products at the show? If I was there and had a computer go Blue Screen on me somebody better dive on that bitch like it's a live grenade about to blow up the platoon.
Another up close picture after the jump, so you can read the screen.
Continue Reading " Dell XPS Goes Blue Screen Of Death At CES "
Jan 9 2008 About Time: Draft Beer At Your Computer
We've seen refrigerators that cater to beer lovers, and even computer mods, but how about a plain and simple mini draft system to set up next to the computer desk? Introducing the Beertender, a little draft designed to work with the Heineken DraftKegs that came out recently. The thing runs $380, has an LCD readout with temperature and beer quantity left, and will keep beer fresh for 30 days (although anyone that takes 30 days to drink 5 liters of beer shouldn't be allowed to drink). It hits my computer desk in March of this year. And you know what else will be hitting my computer desk in March? My fist when I realize I'm tired of drinking Heineken and Heineken Light exclusively.
If you haven't seen it, I posted the Heineken DraftKeg commercial after the jump. The one featuring the android that I would totally marry if she could produce those kegs nonstop.
Continue Reading " About Time: Draft Beer At Your Computer "
Jan 9 2008 Pac-Man Shoes Are Hand Painted, Brazilian
Need the perfect footwear to go with your Pac-Man Hoodie? How about these spiffy little numbers? While details are iffy at best, allegedly a boutique in São Paulo may or may not be selling them. The name of the store is thekalaka and it looks like a punk store of sorts. Anybody down there that can provide some more information? At any rate, you could get a pair of white canvas shoes and paint them yourself if you have skills with the brush, and if you do please make me a Zelda pair. I've been dying for a pair of Zelda shoes for, well, nearly two sentences now.
Another picture of the shoes after the jump.
Continue Reading " Pac-Man Shoes Are Hand Painted, Brazilian "
Jan 9 2008 Hide Unsightly Wires With Unsightly Brick
I'm just kidding, the Powerblock is kind of growing on me. As you can see it's a powerstrip that's hidden inside a, um, I'm just going to call it a geometric figure. When implemented, you no longer have to see your damn cords sprawled out all over the place. Lets face it -- nobody likes a bunch of wires everywhere. And nobody likes a bunch of clowns everywhere either, because those guys are freaking scary. Hence Anticlown Media.
UPDATE: Turns out the thing costs 115€ (~$168!), making it the piece of crap I thought it was from the beginning. I'm holding out for a knock-off.
Say Goodbye To Messy Cables [yankodesign]
Jan 8 2008 In Your Dreams: Panasonic's 150" Plasma
Panasonic unveiled the new reigning king of plasma televisions at CES '08, the 150-incher. As you call tell from the picture of it next to last year's wimpy 103-inch, the thing is freaking huge. Oh yeah, I guess the lady is there for reference too. Anyways, the thing rocks 2k x 4k resolution, roughly four times that of a 1080p set, runs on 220 volts, and is totally freaking huge and so so so so awesome. I want it so bad I'm crying. Literally. And not just because my girlfriend kicked me in the balls when I said I love this TV more than her. Although I did say that and it is true.
A bunch more pics and a link to the gallery after the jump.
Continue Reading " In Your Dreams: Panasonic's 150" Plasma "
Jan 8 2008 Air Guitar Is Real, Man. Dude, Totally Radical!
Well folks, it's official: playing the air guitar is real and can now make actual music. Featured at CES 2008, the Jada Air Guitar Rocker is a special little amp and belt buckle that make it all happen. The buckle detects your strumming via a special pick and plays the next chord in the song via a speaker. All you have to do to make the song sound good is strum at the proper tempo. Which, by default, makes you look like you're playing with yourself. And that's not necessarily a bad thing -- it works great for clearing out seats on a crowded bus. Trust me, I know my perverted friend knows.
Hear Air Guitar For Real Thanks To Nitrous Roxide [wired]
a big thanks to Lauren, who is intelligent, drop-dead gorgeous and smells great, for the tip
Jan 8 2008 Massager Keeps Your Fingers Feeling Good
The 'Yubi Lax germa' is a finger massager from Japan. It runs ¥945 (~$8.60), but I couldn't find anyone shipping to the US, so someone please purchase one and send it to me. My fingers really need it. All this typing really takes its toll on my precious digits. This state of the art device even features germanium (not to be confused with geranium, which is a plant), a mineral that causes the thing to heat up when you're using it. Awesome. And since it came with no warning, I assume that it's also safe to use on your you-know-whats! And you do know what I'm talking about when I say your you-know-whats don't you? Fine, I'll spell it out for you so there will be no confusion - your t-o-e-s. Yes, don't neglect your toes, those things are important. This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy ate roast beef, this little piggy had none, and this little piggy got his penis caught in a Japanese finger massager because he was using it for an unintended purpose.
Massager for overworked fingers [popgadget]
Jan 8 2008 Lasonic i931 iPod Ghetto Blaster A Reality
We posted the Lasonic iPod Boombox back in August, but at that time the thing just seemed conceptual. Then comes CES 2008, and presto, the Lasonic i931 iPod Ghetto Blaster in the flesh! Damn yeah I'm excited. It's MSRP is set at a paltry $169 and the company is currently looking for distributors. I actually just finished emailing them saying that I'd gladly be their U.S. distributor. I mean it can't be that hard right? I just take orders and shit the things out. Ha! I just typed shit instead of ship, and I'm not changing it. Mostly because my delete key is broken and I'm too drunk to accurately click on that party of the paragraph. Look, I did it again -- I wrote party instead of part! Jesus, I need to lie down. Or puke. Definitely puke. Then maybe I'll take a little nap on the bathroom floor.
Three more pics and the unit's specs after a little breakdancing.
Continue Reading " Lasonic i931 iPod Ghetto Blaster A Reality "
Jan 8 2008 Guitar Hero Controller Mod: The Turntable
Aaron Skillman, who is both skilled and a man, made a custom turntable Guitar Hero controller. You scratch the record to strum, and hit the buttons with your other hand. Based on the video it looks pretty good. Almost as good as the Guitar Hero controller mod I made for my girlfriend, which is a vacuum cleaner. What I did was glue some colored LEGO blocks to the handle of the vacuum and tell her to push them while she's vacuuming. Then she went and broke the green one off when she was trying to vacuum a dust bunny from under the couch. I told her she broke the controller and I was going to have to seize her next paycheck to pay for a new one. Then I just glued another LEGO on that night.
Custom Guitar Hero Turntable Controller [boingboing]
Jan 8 2008 Genesis Portable Plays Some Old Games
The SEGA Mega Drive (Genesis) Portable is a little handheld system that plays some of your favorite Genesis games from yesteryear. It costs $40 and comes preloaded with 20 games including Kid Chameleon, Sonic and Knuckles, Alex Kidd, Ecco the Dolphin, Altered Beast, and Golden Axe. It features a backlight screen and comes with composite cables in case you want to play on a television. No word if there will be any expansions, but whatever. The reviews of the unit are pretty high, so I may drop two Hamiltons on it. What's that -- Hamilton is on the $10 and not the $20? Well who the hell is on the $20 then, is it Ford? Jackson, huh? Like Michael? Oh, of course, president Jackson. Samuel right?
sega genesis portable: get yoru retro jollies on the run [technabob]
Jan 8 2008 The 5 Friend MP3 Player Headphone Splitter
Well it looks like I'll be living vicariously though others' posts of the CES due to my wife being a cheapskate and pissing our money away on stupid stuff like "the mortgage" and "food" instead of buying me a plane ticket like a responsible woman would. Up next from the show: the Belkin Rockstar, a headphone splitter that lets you plug up to 5 sets into one MP3 player. The thing comes out in March and will go for right around $20. Why it's called the Rockstar is kind of a mystery to me, unless it's because the thing is star shaped. Because I'm pretty sure real rockstars can each afford their own damn MP3 player. Still a handy device though if you need something for pumping sweet Michael Bolton tunes to the participants in your next circle jerk. Which, I might add, I have never participated in. There were only three of us so it was more a triangle than a circle. Ah, dorm life.
Rockstar MP3 player headphone splitter draws a crowd [dvice]
Jan 8 2008 Climate Control Keeps You At A Comfy Temp
Displayed at CES 2008, the C2 Climate Control from Herman Miller is a little personal climate controller. It keeps the 18" of air between you and the device just the temperature you like. It runs on less than 1.5 amps and even has some filtering capabilities in case anyone around you toots real bad. The cost? $280. Yeah, so that seems pretty steep. Who knows, maybe it's worth it (I doubt it). But let me tell you what I do to maintain a comfortable temperature -- If I'm too cold I write a note on my hand reminding myself to wear pants to work next time. If I'm feeling really hot I make passes at my female coworkers before I start feeling ugly again. That, or dial one of those phone-sex hotlines on the company's dime.
C2 Climate Control [ubergizmo]
Jan 7 2008 2880 x 900 Curved Monitor: OMGWTFBBQ!?!
Well I should be at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas right now checking out the latest in gadgets, gambling my life savings away (~$16), and totally getting with hookers. But am I? No. Because my wife wouldn't buy me a damn ticket for Christmas. I hate her so much right now. If she wanted to make it up to me (pay attention honey) she could buy me this nasty-ass Alienware monitor. While just a prototype for now, they expect to have them on the market by the end of 2008.
The 2880 x 900 monitor is "a doublewide curved DLP display with OLED illumination." It mimics peripheral vision, which is awesome, because I was thinking just the other day that my periphs were really missing out on something during the gaming experience. No word on what the price will be, but count on expensive. And you know what else you can count on? Your fingers. It's easy and it makes you look like a kindergartener.
Another picture and a video from engadget's coverage of the CES after the jump.
Continue Reading " 2880 x 900 Curved Monitor: OMGWTFBBQ!?! "
Jan 7 2008 Get Prints Of Nintendo Collages For Cheap
I posted Chris Lange's Nintendo collages a couple weeks ago, and mentioned the staggering $250 pricetag. Well due to the incredible demand (thanks to my article no doubt), Chris has decided to sell 8.5" x 11" digital prints of the pieces for $20 each. So they're a lot more affordable. They're also a lot more, uh, less collagey. Which is both proper grammar and a real word. I just asked the dog and he totally licked his privates, which means yes. Well it either means yes or that his unit burns from humping the space heater.
nintendo collages for everyone [technabob]
Jan 7 2008 Business Card Autodials Your Phone Number
Tom Ward is an electronic product designer (his business card says so) who has made a business card that autodials his phone number. You slap the corner of the card (which contains a small speaker) against the mouthpiece of your phone and the card emits "a series of DTMF audio tones to automatically dial the phone number you have programmed." He has a post on instructables if you're interesting in making them yourself, and he says he's got the price down to about $2.00 apiece when making them in large batches. I'm definitely going to make some, except I'm not going to program my real number. Nope, I'm going to use some long-ass-distance international number in China. Then everyone I give my card to will have an expensive phone bill for calling China! Oh the hilarity, I can't wait. Of course my business is going to go straight to shit because I've alienated all my customers, but that's a small price to pay for such a great practical joke.
Brilliant Autodialling Business Card [ohgizmo]
Jan 7 2008 CES Keynote: Gates' Last Day At Microsoft
Well Bill Gates made the CES keynote again, and this one included a little movie of what his last day at Microsoft might be like in July. It's a tad long, at 8:27, but it's worth watching if you have the time (or you can just skip around). It features every celebrity ever making cameos, and proves that not only is Bill worth more money than the world, but that he should give me some of that money because I'm his favorite Geekologie writer. Bill, if you get bored in retirement feel free to stop by sometime, we could hang out and shoot the shit. Or you could shoot me. You know, for a cool $1,000,000. If shooting isn’t your thing you could stab me a couple times for $50,000 a pop.
Jan 7 2008 Arts And Crafts Time: Melted LEGO Lamp
Two LEGO posts in a row, hot dog! Now I'm pretty sure melting LEGO blocks into a massive gaudy mess of a lampshade is sacrilegious, so I'm posting this with the hope that someone out there will beat up the person responsible for this atrocity. Why not just make a LEGO lamp? That would be cool. Putting a bunch of LEGO blocks into round cake pan and baking them in the oven is not. It's sad and it makes me angry. While I'd never wish anyone harm (despite my prior statement), I do hope that melting LEGO blocks give off some sort of sterilizing gas so this person can't reproduce.
Melted LEGO Lamp [geekalerts]
Jan 7 2008 LEGO Beowulf Dioramas: Lots Of LEGO Blood
Brickshelfer MicahBerger made some pretty good looking Beowulf dioramas featuring gratuitous blood and violence, which, as we all know, is mandatory for a good LEGO diorama. They're appropriately titled "Then came Grendal...He bore God's wrath". And based on the look of these things, there is definitely being some wrath being bored. So it's a good name. You know what else is a good name? La Deda Dingdong, which is actually the name of one of my dog's grandmothers. If you think I'm lying you're wrong. I only lie to my wife. And only about stuff that doesn't matter, like what happened to her engagement ring (I pawned it for $2,000 in ones to spend at a strip joint).
Check out several different pics of the carnage after the jump, and follow the Brickshelf link at the bottom for the whole gallery.
Continue Reading " LEGO Beowulf Dioramas: Lots Of LEGO Blood "
Jan 7 2008 Portable Dreamcast Looks Nice, Shiny, White
Someone went and made a portable Dreamcast, named the DCp which stands for Dreamcast Portable, which is very c, which stands for clever. It features "a vacuum formed case, LCD screen, and stereo speakers. Best of all, it runs off of just two 7.2V 3Ah R/C car batteries for maximum portability." Sweet. The only weird thing is that the game CD is placed on the back, and there is no cover for it, so it spins freely right by your hands when you're holding it (hit the jump for a picture of the back). And, quite frankly, I worry about hitting the disk with a finger when I'm tearing up some Power Stone. I mean I have big hands. And you know what they say about a man with big hands don't you? That I'm an idiot.
Picture of the back after the jump.
Continue Reading " Portable Dreamcast Looks Nice, Shiny, White "
Jan 7 2008 Tomy Robot Is Pretty Cool, Shoots Arrows
The i-SOBOT from Tomy is a handsome little programmable robot that costs $200. He stands 6.5" tall and has 200 pre-programmed moves that you can string together to make him dance, shoot a bow, etc. He can even talk (a little) thanks to his 200 word and phrase databank. They should have called him the i-200 seeing how that seems to be his magic number. There's a video after the jump you should watch of the awesome little guy shooting his bow and arrow. And I must say, I like his style. He shoots like I do -- without looking. Sure I've hit a couple assistants in the face during my stunt spectacular at the county fair, but who cares about them. You shouldn't volunteer to be an assistant if you don't understand the risk involved. It's not like I said I was an excellent marksman or anything, I just said I was going to attempt to shoot an apple off someone's head. I reckon I could have mentioned I'd never shot a bow before.
Another picture and a video of the awesome little friend of mine after the jump.
Continue Reading " Tomy Robot Is Pretty Cool, Shoots Arrows "
Jan 4 2008 Mug Displays The Way You Like Your Brew
The Drink Selector Mug ($24) is a receptacle for hot liquids that has three metal bands around it. The top band is turned to indicate if you prefer coffee or tea. The second band indicates your milk preference (breast, etc.), and the third your sugar. Now I don't know how things are done in other offices, but here I have to make my own damn coffee. Which is actually a good thing, because my coworkers don't really like me. The last time I did get a fellow employee to bring me a mug I'm pretty sure it was urinated in. Now call me crazy, but I like my coffee the same way I like my women -- with no penis involved. So I make it myself, sans dong. Okay, maybe just to stir in the milk.
Drink Selector Mug ensures a perfect brew, every time [dvice]
Jan 4 2008 Glasses Make You See Cool, Not Look Cool
Well the Consumer Electronics Show kicks off on Monday in Vegas, so companies are getting ready to showcase their latest and greatest. And one such product is Lumus-Optical's Microdisplay Glasses. "The glasses will boast twin microdisplays and an ultra-thin LOE lens, which can purportedly immerse the wearer by creating the effect of viewing a 60-inch screen from ten feet away." Cool, so the glasses will be available for some hands on action. You know what I hope isn't there and available for some hands on action? That dude in the photo. If he's going to be there I'm returning my press pass and maintaining a three-state safe zone between me and Vegas.
Jan 4 2008 Got A Mississippi Leghound? Get It A Hotdoll
This was featured on some websites earlier last year, but for those of you out there that didn't see it, and like being disturbed, here it is: the Hotdoll. If you can't tell from the pictures what it is, you're probably dead.
This love doll for dogs is shaped to be grabbed easily by the dog’s paws like female hips. Hotdoll is designed in 2 sizes to be used by little dogs and by big ones! Its contrasted colors are made to be easily distinguished by dog’s eyes. The body is made by a plastic structure covered with a 1 cm technogel skin to create a soft and molle touch. All orange parts are made of rubber, that way the doll grips on the floor. The pink hole beside (most important part!) needs to be washed regularly for hygienic reasons.
Well who would have thought. I think I'm actually sick to my stomach now. It could have been the shrimp I had for lunch, but I'm pretty sure it's that little pink hole in the lower left corner of the picture that's responsible. Oh, and if you're wondering if it's suitable for humans: you're a sick freaking pervert.
UPDATE: Turns out this was posted back in April, so, yeah. Here it is again. Totally awesome, I know. OLD! LAME! FIRST.
Hotdoll [idealist]
thanks to Cygnus, who is cool in my book, for the tip
Jan 4 2008 Buy: Indiana Jones LEGO Sets Now Available
The Indiana Jones LEGO sets just went on sale, and I must say: I love Indiana Jones and LEGO! There I said it, the cat is out of the grocery bag. I know what you're thinking -- so do you! That is so rad, we should totally get together sometime and have a big ol' Indiana Jones party and build LEGO sets at the same time. My favorite is the Last Crusade. Yeah I would totally do the blonde chick in it, but I'd have to kill her right afterwards because she's a Nazi. You like the one where the guy gets chopped up in the plane's propeller? Me too! Yes, yes, and the one with the guy who pulls your heart out of your chest -- another great one! So icky. He makes Indy drink that blood out of the skull and it makes him go all batshit crazy and he bitchslaps Short Round. So good. Oh my god, I thought the sacred rock looked like a loaf of bread too!
A few more pictures after the jump, but hit the link at the end to see all the sets available.
Continue Reading " Buy: Indiana Jones LEGO Sets Now Available "
Jan 4 2008 Geek Weddings Are So Freaking Awesome
Above this text you'll find a video montage of geek weddings, along with some generally geeky couples. Apparently there are a lot more Star Wars and Star Trek themed weddings going on than I thought. Which is awesome, and I'm totally gonna crash the shit out of the next one. Literally. I'm gonna fly my X-wing fighter into the banquet hall and crash land that bitch right in the punchbowl.
If You're a Geek And Still Single, There is Still Hope At Finding Love. We Have Proof. [uberreview]
Jan 4 2008 Jet Engine Fire Extinguisher Does The Job
Some Hungarian engineers got together and built a fire extinguisher using two Mig-21 jet engines. It was specifically designed to extinguish pipeline and oil drilling fires. As you can see from the video (after the jump), it really makes fires wish they had never started. And it makes me wish I had two spare jet engines lying around. Not that I'd make a fire extinguisher, because I wouldn't. No, I'm building the world's fastest couch, and I think those are just what I need for a speed boost. Because right now my top speed is like, well, 0. It's a pretty slow couch, it just sits there.
Video of the thing in action after the inferno.
Continue Reading " Jet Engine Fire Extinguisher Does The Job "
Jan 4 2008 Proof Of The Coming Apocalypse: Kitty Wigs
Not that I really needed any further proof that the world is doomed after the poontang juice last week, but for all of you out there that weren't convinced: Kitty Wigs. Kitty wigs are exactly what they sound like and cost $50 each. The colors, in case you couldn't tell, are pink passion, bashful blonde, silver fox, and electric blue. Each comes in a special metal storage case and includes a rattle toy so your cat will look at you when you try to take pictures of it. What is not included is a certificate that your cat can redeem to restore its dignity and self respect after they've been stripped from the poor creature because you're a sicko. And how much do you want to bet I'll get a call from my wife here in 15 minutes saying she just ordered the cutest thing ever for the cats? Guess what it'll be.
thanks to Brian, who can totally spot a rug from a mile away, for the tip
Jan 4 2008 Earth Is Screwed: 'Green' Moonbase Designed
Well we pretty much screwed the pooch with our little planet here, so it's time to start thinking about moving somewhere else. I suggested the sun, but some "scientist" said that would be impossible. Something about being too hot, but I personally like it warm. Anyway, here's the design for a nearly self-sustainable (90-95%) 'green' moonbase.
The Luna Gaia base will be situated in a huge crater to protect from solar radiation and will feature numerous green technologies. Huge mirrors will be focused on a water supply, creating steam and driving a turbine for electricity generation. They'll also come in handy for any vain astronauts and for the females' makeup application. Many of the station's modules will be inflatable and made of Vectran, a stronger than Kevlar material. Food production will consist of tanks of Tilapia and hydroponic vegetables. If times get desperate astronauts can also kill and eat one another.
One of the main keys to the base's sustainability is the reuse of urine and doodoo. Urine runs through an ion-exchange filter and into algae tanks, where it is eventually released as water vapor and reused for washing or purified further and made drinkable. Dookie is broken down by different bacteria into water, minerals and ammonium, which are made into fertilizer and used to feed plants, fish and algae. If you drink the doodoo water then you turn into a monster and haunt the dreams of normal people that would never drink water that came from your butt, no matter how pure it is.
There you have it, a 'green' moonbase. Construction is slated for sometime after 2020, which could mean 2021 or could mean after the world explodes and it's too late. I know I'm sure as hell not waiting. My spaceship is near completion and I'm now accepting applications for hot chicks that want to start a space colony on the sun with me. Who's down? I heard it's real tropical there, like the beach, but absolutely nothing like a beach. Maybe more like hell.
UPDATE: Jesus, that was a long post.
The Green Side of the Moon [popularscience]
thanks to Raul, who gets mad laid practically constantly, except for when he gets hungry and the chick has to make him a sandwich, for the tip
Jan 3 2008 Hyper-Sub Fathom Is Both Boat And Sub
The Hyper-Sub boat/submarine hybrid was built by a Florida man and his neighbor. It's capable of cruising the sea at 40 knots (~46 MPH), and then dive to depths of 250 feet. It has a 500 mile surface range and currently only exists in prototype form. However the man responsible for the thing has started a company and hopes to get models in production in the not-too-distant future. Which would be sweet, because I've always wanted a boat-sub hybrid. Almost as bad as I've always wanted a time machine-rocketship hybrid. But I actually built one of those last year so I'm good on that. As a matter of fact, I'm actually writing this right now from the moon while I bang Cleopatra. True story, I have the laptop resting on her back.
A bunch more pictures and a video after the jump.
Jan 3 2008 Why?: Blender Sports Functional Tachometer
The L'Equip R.P.M. Blender costs $134 and has a functional tachometer in the base. Because let's face it, a smoothie made at the wrong RPM will taste like ass. The unit is powered by a 900-watt motor and has a turn-knob capable of adjusting revolutions per minute from 500 to 20,000. This is great because I think everything should come with a tachometer. Like the one I installed here on my desk chair. Let's see, right now it's reading 0, which is typical. One time last week my a-hole coworkers were feeling mean and spun me around until it read 100 and I started puking. They thought it was funny, but it wasn't. I got the last laugh though, because I killed their families.
L'Equip R.P.M. Blender Includes Working Tachometer [ohgizmo]
Jan 3 2008 Beaver Casemod Is Scary, Disturbing, Furry
Well folks, someone went and did it. Someone stuffed a computer inside a beaver. Not that kind of beaver mind you, although I have lost a Wiimote in that kind before. Nope, I'm talking a dam making, wood chewing beaver. And that's pretty much all the info I have about it, not that anything else really needs to be known. Except with all those electronics in him, that mother might very well come back to life and shoot lasers out of his eyes and shit. Who knows? Not me. I didn't even know I wasn't wearing pants today until someone honked when I was getting the mail.
Several more pictures after the log-gnaw, but check the link at the bottom for pictures of the whole process.
Continue Reading " Beaver Casemod Is Scary, Disturbing, Furry "
Jan 3 2008 For Photogs/Pervs: Camera Phone Telescope
The Brando (not again) Mobile Phone Telescope was made specifically for Motorola RAZRs and KRZRs and attaches to the phone for 6x magnification. They run $19.
Overcome the short coming of camera cellphone that can only near-sighted, it also makes distant view for you at the moment. The new design to run of rays can effectively avoid the contortion of image, and makes the super wide angle, the larger luminous flux, the higher visual acuteness, good for color reduction, which makes the high quality of photography. It can take a picture while fixing the telescope on back shell. (If the screen of your cellphone is analyzed degree enought, you can adjust the focus with the screen of the cellphone).
Well there you have it folks, straight from Brando, a bunch of shit that doesn't making any sense. I thought for sure they'd mention that putting the thing in your pocket would make it look like you have a raging mini-boner. Which is why I bought one, and I don't even own a Motorola.
Jan 3 2008 Heat Sensitive Toilet Seat Provides Clues
When I first saw this picture, before I read the article, I assumed it was a heated toilet seat that changed color to let you know if you were about to sit on a cold seat. Well, it's actually the opposite. The Thermochromatic Toilet Seat was designed to warn you whether another individual has used the unit recently. Apparently because it's disturbing to sit on a seat still warm from another's rear. I personally seek out the hot seat, but that's just me. What I typically do is stand on the tank of a toilet in an adjacent stall, peering over the wall waiting for the person to stand up. As soon as they do I leap over the divider and seat myself before they've even got their pants up. I'm telling you, I like them hot.
Thermochromatic Toilet Seat [ubergizmo]
Jan 3 2008 Optimus Tactus Keyboard Is Questionable
We've posted the Art Lebedev 'Optimus Maximus' keyboard in the past, and now the company has another, entirely touch-surface model as a concept. If you're not familiar with the Maximus, it's a keyboard in which every key is a little OLED display, customizable to whatever you want. The 'Optimus Tactus' would be the same, except the whole damn thing is one huge flat surface. Which I don't like because I like pushing buttons, it's rewarding. However with the extreme customization possible, I'm sure there are some good uses for the thing (video, music, graphic work, etc.). But seeing how Art has already been seriously struggling to get the Maximus out the door, I wouldn't get too excited. What I will get excited about is lunch. Because my girlfriend is fixing one of my favorites -- crackers on a hotdog bun. Damn we're poor. That's okay though, because we've got love. And by love I mean scabies.
Optimus Tactus Touch Keyboard Should Be Called Optimus Retardus [gizmodo]
Jan 3 2008 Caffeine Soap Wakes You Up In The Shower
Well I've known about caffeinated soap for a little while now, but since this tip comes from a very trustworthy source, I'll assume there are many of you out there that haven't. Shower Shock is soap with caffeine in it. You rub it all over that sexy naked body of yours, and next thing you know, BOOM, you're wide awake. Simple as that. Each 4 oz bar has approximately 12 200mg caffeine servings. One bar costs $7 but price decreases the more you buy, down to $38 for ten bars. They come with a warning not to eat them, which is ridiculous, because who the hell would eat a bar of soap anyways (you excluded)? However they don't come with a warning about not jamming four bars up your ass, which is what I did. I haven't slept since '06.
thanks to Raul, who enjoys fast cars and beautiful women regularly, for the tip
Jan 3 2008 Japanese Robot Turns Snow To Bricks Of Ice
Yuki-taro is a Japanese robot that runs down the street taking in snow and turning it into bricks of ice that he stacks on a shelf behind him. He's loaded with two video cameras and a GPS tracking system to help insure he doesn't make ice blocks out of any homeless that may be sleeping in the snowbank he's working on. No word on what the Japanese use the ice blocks for, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say for a sweet ice-domino knock-down. Because that's the only thing that makes sense. Oh, and this was on Foxnews with the title 'Robot Eats Snow, Poops Out Bricks of Ice'. I mean, wtf? Where the hell is Fox's journalistic integrity? Who uses 'poops out' in the title of a serious news story about a robot? Next on Foxnews: Man snarfs world's largest burger, totally blows chunks and still manages to take record-breaking crapola.
Japanese Robot Eats Snow, Poops Out Bricks of Ice [foxnews]
A big thanks to Brytne, who gets two thumbs up, for the tip
Jan 2 2008 Eye Candy: The History Of Mario Power-Ups
Not sure who made this nifty little picture, but it depicts the history of Mario power-ups throughout the years. Sure it doesn't show all of the newer ones, but it's still pretty awesome, huh? Yeah it is. It sort of reminds me of my history of power-ups, otherwise known as the list of drinks I had on New Year's. It started simple enough, with a beer I drank in the shower, but quickly escalated to one of the more potent power-ups known to man, a handle of Jagermeister I drank on the bus ride to my friend's party. Unfortunately it turned out to be less the "get laid" power-up I expected and more of a "get arrested" variety. Stupid unpredictable power-ups.
A video after the jump that shows the evolution of Mario from Donkey Kong to Super Mario Galaxy. And as if that wasn't cool enough, it's set to the Zelda theme, which totally made me want to do it.
Continue Reading " Eye Candy: The History Of Mario Power-Ups "
Jan 2 2008 Rotating Boat Wheel In Scotland Has Potential
The Falkirk boat wheel in Scotland is the world's first and connects the Forth and Clyde Canal with the Union Canal. "With a diameter of 35-meters, it boasts two axe-shaped arms and water-filled caissons boasting an 80,000-gallon capacity, capable of lifting 600-tons (combined)." The thing cost almost $35 million to build, but only needs 22.5kW to run its motors. Pretty neat, I think it's got some potential. Potential for a role in an action movie that is. I'm thinking a boat chase, and this thing going maybe 20 to 30 times faster than it normally does, and then the bad guys getting chopped up and all bloody in it. Yeah! Then the scene ends with a dolphin humping a sea otter. Someone notify the Academy Awards, I want a trophy.
A couple more pictures and a 10-second time-lapse video after the jump (the process normally takes around 7 minutes).
Continue Reading " Rotating Boat Wheel In Scotland Has Potential "
Jan 2 2008 Table Looks Like Running Water, Is Glass
Designed by Tokujin Yoshioka for display in downtown Tokyo, these tables are made to look like water running over a cliff. But they're not really water, they're glass! Didn't see that coming did you? Oh, you did. Well shit. Apparently the optical glass used (the same stuff observatory telescopes are made of) is expensive but has properties that lend to the whole rippling water illusion. But you know what, if you want something like this without the expensive glass, I'm just the man for the job. What you do is take rag and you jam it down the kitchen drain. Then you turn the water on full blast. In a short time, presto, waterfall countertops baby! Who needs expensive glass now? Not us. Just make sure to make them at a friend’s house or fast food restaurant bathroom. While not nearly as expensive for the initial setup, the long term maintenance cost of my water countertop design can be a real bitch.
Jan 2 2008 Swiss Human Tetris Not As Cool As Japanese
Swiss artist Guillaume Reymond makes artsy video game inspired clips, and this is one of human tetris. It was made last month during the Urbaines Festival in Lausanne, Switzerland and took 88 people 880 photos to complete. It's not nearly as cool as Japanese human tetris (1,2, and search Youtube for a bunch more), but the home-made sound effects make it worth watching (for twenty seconds -- before you put your fist through the monitor and penis through the speakers).
Video under the cut.
Continue Reading " Swiss Human Tetris Not As Cool As Japanese "
Jan 2 2008 USB Eye Warmer Keeps Your Peepers Toasty
This product is a dream come true. Just yesterday I was thinking to myself "Jesus my eyes are cold, if I don't warm those bitches up they'll freeze right out of their sockets". And then along comes Brando (surprise, surprise) to the rescue with the USB Eye Warmer ($15).
Just put up the USB Eye Warmer, it can warm up your eyes and help you to get rid of tired. It not only relaxes your eyes but also comforts your entire body.
So it helps you get rid of tired. I assume they mean tired eyes and not tired body, because that dude in the picture is passed the f*** out. Which would indicate it doesn't get rid of being tired at all. Still, any USB device that makes me fall asleep at work is okay in my book.
Note: Seeing how this thing is made by Brando it's not recommended you use the 'high' setting unless you're fine with the unit catching fire and burning your face off. Just kidding, I'm sure it's safe.
USB Eye Warmer [7gadgets]
Jan 2 2008 Start Saving: Mac Tablet Begins Shipping
The Modbook from Axiotron is the only Apple-authorized Mac tablet available, and it just began shipping. It's basically a Macbook coupled with Wacom's pen-sensitive digitizer technology. "The Modbook will come pre-loaded with Mac OS X Leopard and is powered by either a 2GHz or 2.2GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor. Other hardware specifications include an iSight camera, an integrated 24x DVD Combo drive/8x DVD SuperDrive, and built-in GPS capability." It also sports a 13.3" display and starting price of $2,290, which isn't too bad. I actually considered getting one as a late Christmas gift for my wife until I realized it would be a waste of money. With all the ribbons, wrapping paper and a box to play with, she would never even use the damn computer.
Modbook begins to ship [ubergizmo]
Jan 2 2008 RGBy 3.0 Isn't What I Thought It Was
At first I thought the RGBy 3.0 was a new robotic doctor for women's privates, but it turns out I couldn't have been further from the truth. It's actually a little puck that changes its hue to the dominant color of whatever it's sitting on is, kind of like this art exhibit. Mongoose Studio, the Japanese company responsible for the product, will be releasing the little bastards later this year, for an as-of-yet undisclosed price. I know I'll be first in line -- just think of the applications for such a device! There's, uh, setting it on a table, and, um, setting it on other things. And then there's a fun game I just invented in my head right now where you try to trick it by putting it on a difficult color to identify and then making fun of it for not getting it right. Kind of like I did in the video when they set it on green (at 0:32) and it turns bluish. Haha, you stupid little color changing puck, you so dumb! This is what I do to make myself feel better about my worthless existence. And it doesn't even work very well.
Video after the jump.
Jan 2 2008 Titanium Springs Make Shoes Bouncier
The Titanium Spring Loaded Insoles from Hammacher Schlemmer have five titanium springs in each heel.
Built with five titanium springs that not only cushion and support the foot, these insoles return some of the energy of the downward footfall back up to the body for a "push off" with every stride. The titanium construction ensures the springs will never wear down or lose their shock-absorbing capability. Seven smaller springs under the ball of the foot further disperse the impact and cradle the foot.
All this for only $30! Sounds like it's too good to be true doesn't it? Well it is. I felt their marketing spiel clearly implied that these things give you the power to jump over buildings in a single leap. And that didn't happen. Nope, I didn't even make it over the holly bush in front of my parent's house. Talk about some false damn advertising. I'm suing Hammacher Schlemmer for the cost of Neosporin and Band-Aids.
Titanium Insoles Put A Space-Age Spring In Your Step [ohgizmo]