Jun 26 2009Samurai Swordsman Cuts Baseball In Half

Resident samurai Isao Machii returns, this time cutting a launched baseball in half. Unfortunately, it took him two tries. I could have done it in one, making a second ball obsolete. Rollerblading accident. It unraveled.

Japanese Samurai Slices Pitched Baseball In Half [totalprosports]

Thanks to Dan, who once chopped a thrown bowling ball in half with laser vision.

Jun 26 2009Swedish Women Win Right To Tan Topless

In what will probably be the awesomest news I'll hear all day, Swedish women in Malmö have officially won the right to go to public pools with their knockers hanging out. *sniff* I think we're really making progress here.

...some on the council had lobbied for wording which would have required women to keep their nipples covered, but Forsberg explained that attempting to enforce such a rule would have been too complicated.

"We don't define what bathing suits men should wear so it doesn't make much sense to do it for women. And besides, it's not unusual for men to have large breasts that resemble women's breasts," he said.

OH HO, you just had to sneak a manboob burn in there didn't you? I'M WORKING ON THEM, OKAY? And by working on I mean fondling. Oooh la la.

Yay Sweden! Swedish Women Won Rights to Bathe Topless [neatorama]

Thanks to Mags, who was in shock I hadn't already motorboated this story.

Jun 26 2009That's More Like It: 7 Pound, 4.5" Thick Pizza

Andy is the man responsible for yesterday's 2-inch thick pizza. And he got pretty upset several of you commenters weren't feeling his efforts. So, to spite you, he made a bigger, 7 pound, 4.5-inch thick pizza yesterday. Take that, naysayer!

Okay, I saw that my pizza I posted a couple of hours ago got posted on Geekologie, that's cool, I read that blog on a daily basis. But apparently most of the readers over there wasn't that impressed. And some even thought it was fake, and that's just ridiculous. So I felt I had to do another thick pizza. So here we go:

340g pineapple (190 kcal)
70g asparagus (14 kcal)
360g bacon (1152 kcal)
750g cheese (2700 kcal)
275g majonays (1980 kcal)
170g shrimp (145 kcal)
400g ham (520 kcal)
200g salami (780 kcal)
600g tomato paste + dough (1098 kcal)
1 egg (90 kcal)

All in all, this bad boy has 8669 kcal in it and weigh 7.08 lbs (3215g)

Happy now? I swear, some of you are so hard to please. Especially the ladies. I don't know know what I'm doing -- I get lost down there!

Hit the jump for a couple pre-baking shots.

Continue Reading "That's More Like It: 7 Pound, 4.5" Thick Pizza"

Jun 26 2009Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter

Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.

The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.

I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.

Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]

Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.

Jun 26 2009R.I.P.: Michael Jackson Has Left The Building

Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest yesterday. He was 50. *performs crotch grab in remembrance* Rest in peace, Michael.

Hit the jump for some video tributes.

Continue Reading "R.I.P.: Michael Jackson Has Left The Building"

Jun 26 2009It Buuuuuurns!: India To Make Chili Grenades

India's Defense Research and Development Organization has plans to start manufacturing hot chili grenades. Hot chili grenades are exactly what they sound like: hot. chili. grenades.

Indian defence scientists are planning to put one of the world's hottest chilli powders into hand grenades.

They say the devices will be used to control rioters and in counter-insurgency operations.

The chilli, known as Bhut Jolokia, is said to be 1,000 times hotter than commonly used kitchen chilli.

Wow, this might very well be the second most delicious grenade I've ever heard of. But NOTHING tops a good tear-gas grenade. I eat sadness!

India plans hot chilli grenades [bbcnews]

Thanks to i like it spicy, whose urine can melt concrete.

Jun 26 2009Surprisingly Not Bad: Harry Potter The Musical

Are you a Harry Potter fan? Looking to blow your whole day at work watching videos on Youtube? I know what you do on Fridays!

Get ready for a musical adventure as Harry Potter and his pals go back to Hogwarts for another year of learning shenanigans! Only this year their wizarding world gets turned on its head when the Dark Lord, Voldemort, comes back from the dead to take his revenge on The Boy Who Lived. Filled with magical fun and original songs by Darren Criss and AJ Holmes, this is a Potter-spectacular that no fan should miss. So take a ride on Voldemort's flying machine and get ready to back to Hogwarts!

It's amazingly not bad, and I just spent the last two hours watching it all. And by watching it I mean sleeping. I was there in spirit though. No, no I wasn't.

Youtube (with all the other parts)

Thanks to trishna87, who once sawed a man in half. Not magically either. She's serving life.

Jun 25 2009That's Depressing: Dead People Jewelry

Want some jewelry that will remind you of your deceased loved ones because it's made with parts of them? Then you're in luck, thanks to necromancer and design student Anna Schwamborn (not to be confused with Anna Schwamdied).

Besides pure hair being used, cremated human ashes are mixed with black bone china, the world´s highest class porcelain.

The objects are supposed to be worn close to the body of the mourner symbolizing a lasting physical connection between two individuals even after death.

Furthermore this collection is supposed to remind the wearer on the fragility and appreciation of life and most importantly, acting as a keepsake.

Wow, that was depressing. Quick, I need something entirely inappropriate. Got it -- ex-girlfriend panty collection for the save! Whew, that was a close one.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the possibilities.

Continue Reading "That's Depressing: Dead People Jewelry"

Jun 25 2009Invention Of The Century: In-Car Pizza Oven

I think I speak for us all when I say, it's about damn time. This 12-volt pizza oven plugs right into a car's cigarette lighter or power point so you can cook a breakfast pizza on your commute to work. Or a dinner pizza on your way home! Or burn your car to the ground! The $36 oven is a real product and I just bought two. One for the front seat, and one for the kids in the back. What in the -- damnit kids, I smell burning army men! *sniff* I'm just so proud.

portable pizza oven lets you cook-a nice-a pizz-a pie in a moving car [technabob]

Thanks to FDSY and gnome king, who cook their pizzas on the radiator like normal people.

Jun 25 2009No Thanks: World's Largest Alarm Clock

The world's largest alarm clock is actually the sun, but I'll look past that for the sake of this scary bitch, who's convinced he's made the largest. Now I don't want to ruin the video for you, but there is absolutely no way he originally designed that as an alarm.

The World's Biggest Alarm Clock [geekygadgets]

Thanks to MaverickPS, who wakes up the way God intended: with a dog licking his face.