Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Man Syncs Christmas Light Show To Star Wars Songs

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This is a video of music teacher (hence the giant instruments) Tom BetGeorge's Christmas lights display. Tom says he has about 12,500 channels running 100,000 lights, and this year they're all synced to Star Wars songs (there's even a lightsaber battle). I wonder how many people have been blinded by the display and blown through that stop sign and crashed into a neighbor's house. Because in my mind it's at least in the tens, and that neighbor is pissed.

Keep going for the video, which I totally took from our sister site Hedonistica, which you should be visiting regularly, like the bathroom. Remember: eight glasses a day.

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Feel Good Story: 3-D Printed Prosthetics Allow Dog Born With Disfigured Legs To Run For The First Time

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This is a video chronicling the story of Derby the dog. Derby was born with disfigured front legs and later adopted by Tara Anderson, who happens to be a director at 3D Systems, a global 3-D printing company. So what did she do? Got Derby some 3-D printed prosthetics so he he can walk and run now! I cried. Then I beat myself up for crying. Then I cried because beating myself up hurt a lot.

Keep going for your feel good video of the day.

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OVER THE LINE: Man Denied Bowling Strike By Pin That Stands Back Up

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This is a video from the 2014 World Bowling Men's Championship in Abu Dhabi in which Team USA's Bill O'Neill thinks he bowls a strike, but one of the pens flips and bounces itself back upright. Bill then had to bowl for a spare, which he got. Later, I assume he was kicked off the team for being the unluckiest person in the world.

Keep going for a video of the Big Lebowski's worst nightmare in action.

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So It Begins: Scientists Put Worm Brain In Robot Body

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The group of scientists who created the Open Worm Project have successfully mapped the connections of all 302 neurons in a roundworm's brain, simulated them as a piece of computer software, and uploaded that software to a LEGO robot. So now there's a LEGO robot that acts like a worm. Roundworms are gross because they come out of your dog's butt after it eats cat shit, but regular earthworms, I like those. You know what my favorite thing about them is? The way they feel in my mouth when I'm eating them. "You're sick." Oh, and eating snails is fancy? Maybe next time you can check your double standards at the door.

Keep going for a video of the wormbot in action.

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Because Japan: Breast Beautifying Hand On A Stick

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This is the Oppai Taisou Hand, a $28 piece of plastic that's supposed to make your breasts look and feel better. From what I can tell from the pictures, it it works by dragging back fat around and adding it to your tits. That, of course, makes no sense. Thankfully, there's an even shiftier explanation:

Shindo explains that a woman's breasts are strung up by ligaments, and if these ligaments don't get sufficient movement, the fats in the breast will start to settle back against the chest muscles, resulting in unshapely, or even sagging boobies.


Oppai Hagashi supposedly detaches the breast ligaments from the chest muscles and directs the fats back to where they belong, restoring shape, while Oppai Yurashi resets the tension in the ligaments holding up the breasts, thus regaining elasticity and perkiness. The massage also improves blood circulation, which promotes healthier, beautifully shaped breasts.

Hey, I'm all for healthier, beautifully shaped breasts. I'm going to get one of these for my girlfriend for Christmas. Then as soon as she unwraps it I'm gonna snatch it away, break it over my knee and say, "Hey -- I've got two perfectly good hands right here, baby!" She will laugh, and I will look down at two mangled and bloodied hands from Christmas Eve's fireworks mishap.

Keep going for one more picture of the I have no clue.

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SCIENCE!: Bill Nye Explains Evolution With Emojis

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This is a video of Bill Nye explaining the evolutionary process with the help of emojis. I'm not really sure the emojis added anything, but kids these days seem to like them. Whatever helps get the point across I guess. But if you really wanted to connect with the children you should have turned the history of evolution into a shitty pop song with a music video full of chicks twerkling. "You mean twerking?" I though it was twerkling.

Keep going for the video.

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BFFs: Tortoise Flips His Upside-Down Friend Back Over

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This is a short video of a tortoise flipping its upside-down friend back over while children cheer them on in the background. So, what's the ruling -- did the tortoise actually know what he was doing? I mean, it certainly SEEMED deliberate. But maybe he was just trying to start a fight. Or -- OR -- maybe the other turtle is his lover and he isn't into kinky, upside-down sex. When reached for comment about the possibility, everyone's favorite professional tortoise and turtle-liker Zombie Jonathan wasn't sure what kinky, upside-down sex is. That's probably for the best.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Lord Of The Rings Super Fan Gets Hobbit-Hole Cat House

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This is a video detailing the build of a hobbit-hole litter box and Barad-dûr/Eye of Sauron cat-scratching tower for crazed Tolkien fan Misha and his cats Frodo and Sam (yes, seriously -- he even puts Frodo in a bag and calls him Frodo Baggins). Man, my cats would DESTROY that Hobbit-hole. I give them a day before they tore all the plants out of the ground and covered the stone walkway with smeared shit. That is why they can't have nice things. You ever seen a cat shit three-feet high on a wall before? You should come over sometime.

Keep going for the video, but skip to 0:55 and 7:05 to see just how super-fanny Misha is (SPOILER: very).

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