Nov 5 2009Inner City Bike Sports No Chain, Comfort
Because bike chains (and gold chains) are such a hot commodity in the inner city, the Inner City Bike doesn't have one. Or a comfortable seat. Or much practicality. I have to have it!
Bicycling to work may be the way to go for some, but parking could still be an issue. That's why Jruiter Studio has come up with the "Inner City Bike". It boasts an ultra compact design and has no chain to boot
There's a shot of a guy riding it after the jump, which I'll be the first to admit doesn't look as uncomfortable as I thought it would. But I won't be the first to admit where I hid the jewels. Not even if you tortur -- TOP DRAWER, UNDER ALL THE SOCKS. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, I HAVE CHILDREN I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT!
Hit it for a guy sitting on the thing.
Nov 5 2009Shower With 3-D Wrap Around Touchscreen
Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what's the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it -- I will always out one-up you!
The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets.
I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates.
Nov 5 2009This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is.
If there's one thing old people love it's soft food. If there's another it's stuff with giant-ass buttons so they can push the right one with their shaky, arthritic fingers. Aaaaaand I've officially depressed myself. Good times. Anyway, this is a cell phone for old people and people with fat fingers. Or, as we like to call them in the hand modeling biz, Vienna digits.
The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant "SOS" button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It's also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution.
I kind of want one. Not that I have fat fingers, because I don't. I'm just clumsy. One time I tried ordering a pizza and ended up spending an hour on a phone sex line. DAMN YEAH I WANT PEPPERONI ON THAT!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the latest in geriatric communication technology.
Continue Reading "This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is."
Nov 5 2009WTF Was That?: The Lateset Android Ad
Just as I suspected, Motorola's new Droid phone (which drops tomorrow) is at the middle of a U.S. government conspiracy to wipe out the American midwest. Why the government would want to do this is beyond me, but if I had to guess it has something to do with farm subsidies. I'm on to you, the man!
Thanks to Marc, Blitz and Tiny Jim, who have all ridden in stealth bombers but they can't talk about it because if they did they'd have to stealth kill you like a ninja.
Nov 5 2009On This Day In History
In 1955, Doctor Emmet Lathrop Brown was standing on a toilet hanging a wall clock when he slipped and beat his head on the bathroom sink. Unconscious, Doc had a vision. And that vision was that of a flux capacitor -- the device that makes time travel possible. The rest, my friends, is history. Or should I say, future? Time travel joke!
Thanks to Zach, who doesn't need roads where he's going.
Nov 5 2009What Space Invaders Actually Look Like
This is an $18 Threadless shirt depicting what 8-bit Space Invaders actually look like in 3-D. Pretty amazing, huh? I know, I thought they were giant 2-D bugs as well. Really turns your whole world upside down, doesn't it? Like finding out your parents are swingers.
Product Site
via
8-Bit Invaders Are Perfectly Formed [fashionablygeek]
Thanks to Amanda, who just realized Aunt Beth and Uncle Simon weren't actually relatives. Sorry, Amanda.
Nov 4 2009Moron Scores DWI In Breathalyzer Costume
18-year old idiot moron James N. P. Miller (because one initial wasn't enough) scored a DWI (you can't even drink legally!) on Halloween while wearing his 'blow here' breathalyzer costume. Not so good lookin', N.P. Can I call you N.P.? You know I'm going to anyways.
According to a police report, 18-year-old James N. P. Miller, of Cincinnati, was seen driving the wrong way out of the entrance to a one-way street at East Park Place in Oxford.
Inside his car, officers allegedly found an open container of Bud Light in the center console.Officers also found what was left of a case of Bud Light in the passenger side front seat and in the trunk.
The legal limit in Ohio is .08 BAC--Miller tested at .158. He was cited for operating a vehicle while intoxicated (among other violations) and released to his girlfriend.
I actually know a guy that wore the same costume on Halloween and try as I might, I couldn't get a reading. I dunno, dead batteries or something.
Moron In Breathalyzer Costume Busted For Driving Drunk [gizmodo]
Thanks to Chris, who blew even harder than I did.
Nov 4 2009How To: Open A Wine Bottle Sans Corkscrew
Ever needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew? Apparently all you need a shoe and something rock hard. LIKE MY ASS ABS ASS. Alternatively, break the top off and chug the whole bottle. I mean, unless you're cool being a sissy boy. Trust me, manliest way to drink wine. AND THERE AREN'T MANY.
MacGyvered Inebriation: Guy Opens Wine Bottle With Shoe [uberreview]
Nov 4 2009The Colorblind Clock Is A Little Discriminatory
Because the colorblind aren't real people and certainly don't deserve to know what time it is, design company sonodesign is selling 'the clock i can't see'. The clock I can't see is a £35 ($58) wall clock designed to put the colorblind in their place and make them miss appointments.
Take a closer look and you will see numbers (12, 3, 6 and 9) hidden in amongst the spots. This clock is made of double thickness high quality acrylic and will hang on a standard picture hook.
Oh really? Well if you take a closer look at my fist you'll see stars. KA-POW! Neat, huh? While you recover, anybody can still read this clock provided you know where the numbers typically are (placement is pretty standard). So yeah, you may have won this battle, The Colorblind, but wait till they let me design prescription pills. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hit the jump for two more shots including a close-up of the numbers.
Continue Reading "The Colorblind Clock Is A Little Discriminatory"
Nov 4 2009I Want One!: A Secret Knock Door Lock
Holy shit, it's a PVC pipe bomb! No, not really. It's the Knock Lock, a homebrew door lock that will only release the deadbolt if you perform the secret knock. Cooooool -- I want one for my clubhouse!
A microphone (okay, really a speaker) presses against the door and listens for knocks. If it hears the right number of knocks in the right cadence it triggers the motor to turn the deadbolt and unlock the door. If the sequence isn't recognized, the system resets and listens for knocks again.
There's a very worthwhile video after the jump of the lock in action. The only problem is every time you perform a knock your neighbors learn how to gain access to your apartment. Still, neat idea. But I'll just stick with my tried and true knock: KICK IN THE DOOR, WAVIN' THE FOUR-FOUR, ALL YOU HEARD WAS GW DON'T HIT ME NO MORE!! I'm serious, don't make me pistol-whip you.
Hit the jump for another shot and the video.
