Jul 29 2010Porsche Producing $650K Spyder 918 Hybrid
So Porsche has decided to go forward and produce the Spyder 918 hybrid, which, up until now, was strictly conceptual. Did I mention it'll cost around $650,000? Because it will. Yeah, I just pre-ordered two. Didn't I, Hot Wheels? High rolla, HIGH ROLLA!
A 3.4-liter V8 petrol burner is combined with electric motors to put out 500bhp, while featuring the mind-altering acceleration to go from a standing start to 62mph in just 3.2 seconds. Topping out at 198mph and offering a very respectable 78mpg fuel economy...The cost? That hasn't been officially announced yet, but estimates peg it around the $650,000 mark. Don't worry, though -- it'll be eligible for the $7,500 federal tax credit.
Well thank God for the federal tax credit. I know that's what I'm concerned about when I'm wiping my ass with diamond-studded toilet paper. Did I mention my commode is solid gold? Which -- you know how they say you can't polish a turd? They've never seen one sparkling at the bottom of my bowl.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the "yes, yes I would have sex with that car."
Continue Reading "Porsche Producing $650K Spyder 918 Hybrid"
Jul 29 2010How To: Ask Another Pokémon Player Out
Like this: creating a special team of characters that spell out a cute message. Alternatively, grow a pair of Poké Balls and ask her out to her face. Huh? What do you mean I'm being too harsh?!
A wild WHINER appears.
GW uses STFU and stop crying or I'll beat you.
It's super effective.
Yes, as a matter of fact I did just whip your ass. NOW GET IN THIS BALL. That said, this should probably be saved for something more meaningful like a wedding proposal. So buddy -- how'd you, you know, pop the question? "Pokémon Red." LOLWUT?!?!
The Pokemon-Powered Pick-Up Line [kotaku]
Thanks to Hairy Mary, who isn't as hairy as she'd lead you to believe. Kidding, I have no idea.
Jul 29 2010Wait, But Why?: The Defibrillator Toaster
Why are there so many conceptual toasters? Are you folks really having trouble using the ones you have? I mean, not to brag or anything, but I can toast bread with over a 60% success rate. Did I mention I'm batting over 80% on cooking Ramen noodles? I know, I know, I'm a culinary dreamboat. Anyway, this is the Toast/E/R Defibrillator designed by Shay Carmon. It's a toaster that looks like a defibrillator. It's almost as clever as a home telephone that looks like a defibrillator, but less funny when you prank-call your grandma. Haha -- you just killed her!
Hit the jump for one more shot if you care about saving this bread.
Continue Reading "Wait, But Why?: The Defibrillator Toaster"
Jul 29 2010Pew Pew Pew!: Starcraft LEGO Stop-Motion
As many of you may know because you haven't slept since its release on Tuesday, Starcraft II was just released. And what better way to celebrate than a stop-motion LEGO homage to the original? I mean, besides just playing the new one. I'm picking up my copy tomorrow and plan on staying up allllllll night. It's gonna be just like a high school sleepover, except without having to masturbate in my sleeping bag as quietly as possible. Per the video maker's comments at Machinima:
Lego Starcraft: Brick Rush
The blue Terran forces face off against the red Protoss threat in a classic battle for map domination and vespian gas!
Oh man, vespene gas. That's some toxic-ass stuff right there. Reminds me of the time I ran to the fridge for another beer and came back to catch my dog licking the last of the curry out of my bowl on the coffee table. I made her sleep in the kitchen that night and, no lie -- her ass melted the linoleum.
Hit it for the worthwhile video if you're into Starcraft, LEGO, stop-motion videos, or just pissing time away at work (if you're here you have to be into at least one).
Jul 29 2010Somebody Does Have A Birthday Coming Up: Walking Dinosaur Pencil Sharpeners
Now I know what you're wondering, "Jesus, GW -- are you really posting this just so you don't have to bookmark the product page to find it again?" And yes, that is 110% why I'm posting this. That and I have a birthday coming up and I have yet to receive a single present. You better not disappoint me like you did last year aside, these are $8 wind-up walking dinos powered by sharpening your pencil. Technology -- it's come so far!
The Walking Dinosaur Pencil Sharpener is a classic wind-up toy that also sharpens your pencils.
As you sharpen, the twisting of your pencil winds up the dino for action. Pencil shavings are collected in the dino's head, which can easily be opened and emptied.Available in Triceratops (or Tri-tops, as they're called in the 'biz') and Stegosaurus (no cutesy name assigned yet).
Oh man, I can think of a thing or two I'd like to put in those dinos. Know what I'm sayin'? I'm talking about pencils. And, okay, my pens. Haha -- don't even act like you didn't misread, pervert!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video of the walking in action.
Continue Reading "Somebody Does Have A Birthday Coming Up: Walking Dinosaur Pencil Sharpeners"
Jul 29 2010Yes: Chewbacca On A Squirrel Fighting Nazis
In this wild world of ours everything can be divided into one of three categories: things that don't make sense, things that do make sense, and shit that's magic. And this is one of those magical joints: Chewbacca riding a giant squirrel fighting Nazis with his iconic Bowcaster (full-size version HERE). It was created by deviantARTist gamefan84 per a request and if I were Chewy I'd be busy pinning Nazi heads together with Bowcaster bolts and not bucking my mount and moaning like I just won a carnival prize. Cause as it stands it looks like he's about to lose his mount and get stick-grenaded in the face. Han will never want to pet you again!
gamefan84's DeviantART
via
Chewbacca On A Squirrel Fighting Nazis [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, Blaqk Panda, HeischenStien and wes g, who all would have shot first and don't care who knows it.
Jul 28 2010Don't Cry, Fail Whale: World's Oldest Twitter User Passes Away At Ripe Old Age Of 104
Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world's oldest Twitter user, has passed away. Her tweets, and old-lady aroma, will be missed.
From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean would tell her nearly 57,000 Twitter followers around the world what she did each day -- from eating fish and chips to sitting in the garden.
Bean's online activity drew headlines in recent years because of her age, and she had been called the world's oldest Twitter user, though that is difficult to verify. She became a member of Facebook at age 102, but she quickly migrated to Twitter because it was easier, she said, and because she could have more followers.She had maxed out her friend limit on Facebook. Earlier this year, Bean tweeted that she had 25,000 pending friend requests.
Wait -- WHAT?! This ol' lady had 25,000 Facebook friend requests and I have to sell my ass on the street like a f***ing hotdog vendor to get you to join the Geekologie Facebook page? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T?! Style and grace? Okay what else? Dentures? Pfft -- you think I won't knock all my teeth out?! Somebody gimme an ice-skate, I'm about to 'Cast Away' this shit.
R.I.P. Ivy
Ivy Bean, 'world's oldest Twitter user,' dead at 104 [cnn]
and
The Geekologie Facebook Page, WHICH YOU WILL JOIN
Thanks to DC_Dewd, who may or may not have cybered with her at some point (he says he did).
Jul 28 2010Awesome: Flamethrower Vs. Fire Extinguisher
This is an amazingly well-shot music video of a flamethrower vs. fire extinguisher battle for the Dancing Pigeon's 'Ritalin'. God, I can't even count how many of those things I put up my nose in college. ZERO -- MY BODY IS A TEMPLE! Of doom. Back me up, Indiana. Anyway, this shit looks straight out of one of my nightmares, complete with inbred protagonists and slow-motion effects. Needless to say, I loved (myself to) every second of it.
Hit it for the very worthwhile video.
Continue Reading "Awesome: Flamethrower Vs. Fire Extinguisher"
Jul 28 2010For The Ladies: Star Trek Fingernail Painting
Fingernails: I have no idea why we have them. I do know women use them to accessorize and attract the opposite sex by painting them bright colors, but there's gotta be more to it than that, right? Because if that's their only purpose, why do men have them too? Riddle me that, nipples! Life's deepest, darkest mysteries aside, these are some Star Trek themed nails. Not bad, huh? TOO BAD YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THAT PINKIE! Get it? Red-shirt joke! Here comes another: what did one red-shirt say to the other? Nothing -- they were both f***ing dead already.
boldly going where no nail has gone before.. [attackedastoria]
Thanks to janiepants, who's smart enough to never wear red on a space mission. Smart thinking janie, but I wouldn't mess with pink either.
Jul 28 2010Where The Hell Was Batman?!: Student Dons Joker Costume, Sets His High School Ablaze
Note: Picture is 100% related.
Christopher Clancy (who may or may not have been conceived on the Red October) used six cans of gasoline to set his former high school ablaze and cause over $1.3 million in damages, all while rocking a sweet Joker costume and videotaping the act with his cell phone. Somebody get this man on the honor roll!
He smashed in a glass door and proceeded to spill the contents of one can along the corridor. He then lit the petrol and escaped from the school.
"He was dressed up as The Joker from 'Batman'," said Gda Ganny. "He then told us to go around the corner and we would see what he had done."
He purchased the jerry cans over a five-week period and hid them in the bushes near the school. He bought 100 litres of petrol from a nearby petrol station.
He told gardai: "I am glad I did it because the people will realise they can't treat students as sub-human."
The judge in the case called this a "one-off incident," and seemed inclined to be lenient - she ordered Clancy to get medical help and postponed sentencing until October. Clancy is currently planning to attend the Dun Laoghaire College of Art and Design in September.
Medical help and postponed sentencing?! Why didn't I set my high school on fire?! Because I was home-schooled and wouldn't have had a place to live? I know, I know, I should've done it anyways.
Teen dressed as the Joker burns down his high school in Ireland for "hypocrisy" [io9]
Thanks to [S]d:G, who dressed as Mr. Freeze and froze his middle school for getting made fun of when he could only do two pull-ups in gym.
