Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Death Wishes: Five People Crawl Out Of Car, Change Two Tires While It's Driving On It's Side


Note: Okay, so all five don't actually crawl out -- one dude is already hanging on when the driver puts the car up on its side.

Because the hiring process at Jiffy Lube is fiercely competitive in Saudi Arabia, this is a video of five guys removing and replacing two wheels of an SUV while its being driven balanced on the other two. Not how I spent my weekend, but I was also too busy to sit around inventing new ways to die or get paralyzed. That's more of a three-day weekend thing. Ooh ooh -- a zipline from my balcony to the nearest bus stop!

Keep going for the insanity.

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Whee!: You Can Now Take Hogwarts Magic Classes Online


HogwartsIsHere is a website offering free online classes in magic and potions and all that other fun stuff that make-believe witches and wizards want to learn. Me? I learned the Killing Curse from another kid on the back of the short bus so I'm good on magic.

Though it is similar to the franchise's interactive ebook website Pottermore, this version doesn't seem to follow directly in Potter's footsteps. The immersive website was made by members of the fandom to bring together anyone who has been seeking "magical experiences" since the series' conclusion.

It also takes its course work very seriously -- starting out as first year students, users are expected to complete homework assignments, essays, quizzes and tests for classes such as "Charms" and "Potions," and progress through all seven years of wizard academics.

I don't know, I'm not convinced magic is a subject best taught online. I feel like it might be better to learn hands-on. Also, it says class registration may take up to a day, but you can use their web-app to make your own acceptance letter in the meantime. Wait -- make your own acceptance letter?! What the hell kind of magic school is this? I WANT THAT SHIT BROUGHT BY AN OWL.

Thanks to PYY, who agrees the best magic isn't taught online, it's learned by accident while you're waving your wand around muttering gibberish. Whoa -- my penis just shot a laser!

I Said Bake Me Cookies, Droid: R2-D2 Measuring Cup Set


This is the R2-D2 measuring cup set available from ThinkGeek ($20). The stacked cups actually make up his body, and his utility arms are nested measuring spoons! Admittedly, I bet R2 would be a great helper in the kitchen. C-3PO? C-3PO is not a good helper anywhere. "Target practice." I stand corrected.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video, because some measuring cups need a video.

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Not Bad: Pokemon Theme Sung As A 90's R&B Slow Jam


This is a video of a group performing the Pokemon theme song in the style of a 90's R&B slow jam. It's sultry. The kind of song you and a lover could take each other's clothes off to. Or, if you're like me, the kind of song you could fumble around with a bra clasp to for a minute until she feels sorry for you and takes it off herself. At this time she will question whether she should be getting naked with you in the first place. Will she continue? Probably not. And does it really even matter since you climaxed as soon as her shirt came off? Sexy time.

Keep going for the video, it's worth a listen.

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You Sure?: Loch Ness Monster Spotted In Apple Maps App


Note: Closeups of the beast after the jump.

This is an image from the satellite used for Apple's Maps app of what some crazy people are calling the Loch Ness Monster. The photo would make her about 100-feet in length. Is it really her? That's for you to decide. Jk jk, that's for me to decide. *eying picture* Nope, not her -- Nessie's flippers are way smaller. Maybe this is her older brother. Listen, you really want to find the Loch Ness Monster? Here's what we do: erect a floating shrine to Nessie in the middle of the loch, and tie a virgin volunteer (who will be bodypainted to look like the monster) to the shrine. "And then?" And then drain the loch.

Keep going for a couple more shots.

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Guy Makes His Own Spider Man Web Slinger (That Actually Shoots Darts)


This is the Spider Man 'webslinger' built by Patrick Priebe of Laser Gadgets. Except instead of shooting actual webs it uses a little coilgun to shoots darts. It looks dangerous, and there is no doubt in my mind I'd find a way to shoot myself in the hand and/or face trying to use it. I'm not that coordinated. Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a knife fight? Well I was never actually IN the fight, I slipping in the shower that morning and threw my hip out. I was at the hospital getting a wheelchair when all my buddies came in with stab wounds.

Keep going for a video demo.

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WHO KEEPS BUILDING THESE THINGS?: Creepy Hexapod Robot Can Transform, Roll Out In A Ball


This is Norwegian engineer Kåre "Zenta" Halvorsen's MorpHex, a hexapod robot that can transform and roll out in a ball. You may actually recall MorpHex from this post back in 2012, this is just the new and improved version. Or maybe it's the exact f***ing same, I'm not sure. Whatever the case, when reached for comment about the transforming ball, Optimus Prime just laughed and told the little shit to go join the Decepticons.

Keep going for a video of the bot in action.

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The 2,500 Bunsen Burner Audio Visualizer Coffee Table


This is the Pyro Board, a table containing 2,500 flames that respond to the audio pumped beneath it. It's like a real-life Winamp visualizer. Remember in college when you used to get high and listen to your favorite music at night watching Winamp at full screen? Those were simpler times.

The pressure variations due to the sound waves affect the flow rate of flammable gas from the holes in the Pyro Board and therefore affect the height and colour of flames. This is interesting for visualizing standing wave patterns and simply awesome to watch when put to music.

Heck yeah, flaming coffee table! Just make sure to moved all your remotes and video game controllers before firing this bad boy up. You smell that? Smells like somebody just got a new coffee table! Jk jk, smells like my cat's on fire. I told you to stay off the furniture!

Keep going for the video.

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