Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

The Queen's Royal Guard Plays Game Of Thrones Theme


So apparently Queen Elizabeth's royal guard took time out of their busy schedule of standing around while people make funny faces at them to perform the Game of Thrones theme in front of Buckingham Palace. This is a video of that performance. You think the Queen is the one masterminding all the complaints to George R.R. for taking to long to finish the series? "I'm already 88-years old -- George needs to hurry the f*** up!" I imagine her yelling to the roomful of royal guard gathered in a secret command center deep beneath Buckingham Palace.

Keep going for the video.

Continue Reading →

Getting High Down Low: Cannabis Spray For Vaginas


Foria is a mix of medical cannabis oil and coconut oil for use on vaginas that contains 2mg of THC per spray. It's recommended you spray 12mg (~6 sprays) in and around your vagina, then relax for 30 minutes while it starts to do its thing. It's thing being "feelings of enhanced warmth, increased blood flow, tingling, and relaxation. Also the potential to orgasm easier, have multiple orgasms, or climaxing longer and/or more intense." Sounds promising. Unfortunately I don't have a vagina to try it out on, sooooo..."We've told you a million times, GW -- your butt is not a vagina." No, but it's all I've got. I'll report back with my findings. "Please don't." DAMMIT, I'M DOING SCIENCE AND YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN. Ooooh, a little tingly so far. Somebody bring me a Sharpie, STAT.

Thanks to PYY, who informed me the best spray for vaginas is not WD-40 despite what I swear I read in Popular Mechanics when I was a kid.

Cookie Monster Appears In Pot Of Boiling Pasta


Because I like to cover all the hard-hitting topics, this is a shot of Cookie Monster captured by Redditor CaliG831 in a pot of boiling lasagna noodles. Now some people are arguing it's actually the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I'm gonna have to side with Cookie Monster. I mean, the resemblance is uncanny. Why he appeared in a pot of pasta though is beyond me. Maybe he thought cookies are boiled? He's not exactly the smartest Muppet on Sesame Street (that honor goes to Count Von Count, hands down).

Thanks to RockPaperSmash, who, wait -- that's not how you play the game.

Game Of Thrones Ad Featuring Dragons Attacking Golfer


This is a home video of black swans harassing a golfer that has been CG'd into an ad for UK television streaming service blinkbox by replacing the swans with Game of Thrones dragons. You make recall blinkbox's last Game of Thrones themed ad featuring that 40-foot dragon skull on the beach. Man, I wish I had a 40-foot dragon skull. I would hang it in a tree and build a treefort around it. Maybe then my little sister Becky will finally take the 'NO GURLZ ALOUD' sign seriously. "GW? You spelled girls AND allowed wrong." No, Becky did -- I made her design it with puffy paint and she can't spell for shit. One time I convinced her that her name was spelled 'Dicky' for a whole month before her teacher finally called our parents.

Keep going for the video.

Continue Reading →

Girl Is Super Excited For New iPad, Shatters It In 2 Hours


These are tweets from Twitter user @radjc of her new iPad two hours apart. Can you tell the difference? Apparently the second pic was taken after she dropped the thing down the stairs. Jesus, what were the stairs made out of, hand grenades?

Thanks to lilco, who agrees maybe Serena should have opted for a new Speak & Spell instead. Those things can take a beating.

JIBO, The Robot That Wants To Be Part Of Your Family


Jibo, pass me the butter. Oh wait -- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

This is a video introduction to JIBO, a home robot designed to become part of your family and help everyone throughout the day. The robot, which is Wi-Fi connected, can track faces, take pictures, search the internet, tell stories, watch you while you sleep, and slowly off your other family members until you admit it's your favorite. The robot is currently an Indiegogo project but has already met 10x its goal, so $500 will get you one when they ship late next year. Alternatively, be honest enough with yourself to realize you'll only use it for a month before the novelty wears off/the only use you're getting out of is to try to impress guests. It will sit in a closet until you mark it for $100 at your next yard sale. A woman will tell you her two young children would love it and offer you $30, and you will take it.

Keep going for the video.

Continue Reading →

Custom Han Solo In Carbonite Toilet Seat


This is the $60 custom painted Han Solo in carbonite toilet seat available from eBay seller derbycovers. It's only printed and painted though, it's not actually 3-D, so if you thought this was going to be a cheap way to experience sitting on Han Solo's face, think again. I know, I was *this close* to clicking the 'Buy It Now' button too. Oh well, looks like it's time for plan B. "Which is?"

1. Buy a Han Solo Halloween mask
2. Fill it with silicone rubber
3. ????
4. Masturbate

Thanks to LL, who all the ladies love. Me? I am more like LH.

GE Creates Moon Boot Inspired High-Tops To Celebrate 45th Anniversary Of Moon Landing


Yesterday, July 20th, marked the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. And to celebrate not giving a shit about the moon anymore, GE has released these limited edition 'THE MISSIONS' high tops. GE was responsible for the original moon boots worn by Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, so it makes sense. It's not like they're TOMS.

GE intends "The Missions" sneakers to draw attention to the advanced materials being developed in its labs today, Linda Boff, executive director of global brand marketing at GE, told Ad Age magazine.

"By highlighting super materials like stabilized carbon fiber and hydrophobic coating in our limited-edition sneakers, it helps people relate to the power of these technologies," she said.

Admittedly, I would wear those. But only to one place. "The moon?" Okay I was gonna say the club, but I do like the way you think. However I don't like the way you're looking at me right now. My eyes are up here, pervert. "Sorry, I was just reading your shirt." Oh really, then what's it say? "It says, 'Look at my penis." Haha! Get's em every time.

Keep going for some closeups.

Continue Reading →