Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Robot Draws Its Creator's Picture Using His Blood As Ink

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In things that shouldn't exist news, this is 'Ghost In The Machine,' a robot programmed by artist Ted Lawson to draw a life-size picture of himself using his own blood as ink. Obviously, there are a million things wrong with this. I'm surprised it didn't bleed him dry (which he probably deserved). Also, why the hell are you going to purposefully feed a robot blood? Now they know what it tastes like and probably like it. It's like the first jerk who decided to feed zombies brains. You know what they ate before that? Shit. And not like, they wanna kill you and eat their way through your butthole, they were totally fine picking turds off the floor. Zombies were a lot less scary back then.

Keep going for a video of the portrait in progress. If you're needle squeamish though skip the part from 0:23 - 0:30. I passed out. Or just skip to 1:40 to see the finished product, including a possible penis.

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Throw The Book At Him!: High Schooler Arrested For Writing Story About Shooting Neighbor's Pet Dinosaur

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Seen here with a hornet's nest on his head, 16-year old Alex Stone of Summerville, South Carolina, was arrested at school after writing a short story about killing his neighbor's pet dinosaur. A really short story. Like, it was two lines. My erotic dino fan fiction? Twenty-two 800+ page volumes. Six-point font.

Stone said he and his classmates were given an assignment to write a few sentences about themselves, and to list a "status" as if they were completing a Facebook post.

Wait -- what? An assignment to write a few sentences about yourself and a Facebook status? WHAT THE F*** KIND OF ASSIGNMENT IS THAT?! These are 16-year olds. I don't even remember doing anything so stupid on the first day of 3rd grade.

The teen wrote "I killed my neighbor's pet dinosaur." In the status section, Stone said, he wrote "I bought the gun to take care of the business."


His mom said she was angry that school administrators did not call her before contacting police, who arrested her son and charged him with disorderly conduct after he argued with officers.

Admittedly, that is really f***ing creepy to have written. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Alex, but I'm not saying there isn't anything NOT wrong with Alex either. Actually, the more I reread his writing the more I'm starting to wonder just what the hell is going on in this kid's head. "Says the guy who daydreams about boning dinosaurs." Hey -- those feelings are NATURAL. They're part of the human genetic code from our days as cavemen.

Thanks to PYY, who agrees maybe Alex should have stuck to, "I need a haircut and I don't like to smile."

Two Fish Are Battling Each Other In Street Fighter II

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First the live Twitch stream of a beta fish playing Pokemon, and now two fish in the same tank battling each other in Street Fighter II. There's definitely a lot more action happening on this channel. You think the fish actually know what they're doing? When reached for some insight, Poseidon refused to answer until I promised to stop peeing in the ocean, which I will never do.

Keep going for the live stream.

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Inconceivable!: Princess Bride Recut Into Horror Preview

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This is a video of the Princess Bride re-cut by Youtuber Philip Raupach into the preview for a horror movie. He did a great job, and I happen to know someone who's gonna be sleeping with their lights on tonight. And that's my little sister, because I just poured a whole bowl of fake blood trailing out of her closet and told her the monster must be back. Sweet dreams, Becky. "Mooooooooooom!" Shhhhhhh! Fine, it was me, okay? Now shut up or I'll break your piggy bank. "You already did." Haha, yeah I did. You could really stand to learn a thing or two about fiscal responsibility. Now listen -- you tell mom about the monster prank and I'll read your journal to all the kids at the bus stop. "You wouldn't!" I already Xeroxed the whole thing. I bet they'll all be particularly interested in the 'Boys' section. *tussling hair* Now get some sleep -- one day you'll be thankful you had a big brother like me. Or try to have me killed. Whatever the case, just know that I did my best. OH MY GOD SOMETHING JUST GRABBED MY ANKLE FROM UNDER YOUR BED. Haha! Goodnight, sis.

Keep going for the video.

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Cooooool: Mexican Graveyard Becomes Projection Mapped Day Of The Dead Cartoon After Dark

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This is a video from the Panteón de Dolores, a 590-acre cemetery in Mexico (the country's largest) with some 700,000 graves. That is a lot of graves. In my backyard? Just a single guinea pig grave. But beyond the fence? An ancient Indian burial ground. And trust me, you don't want to go burying anything back there, not even G.I. Joes.

With all of those slabs of granite and marble around, the Mexico City animation collective Llama Rada got to thinking: "What if we use the tombstones of the cemetery as screens to project a vibrant, living cartoon?"

And this is the result: a day of the dead cartoon that reminded me a lot of the style ofGuacamelee! That was a fun game. I thought I was going to be able to Platinum it too but I couldn't because all the platforming parts to get the hidden orbs were too hard for me. So if anybody wants to come over and get those for me, that would be much appreciated. I will provide beer and snacks. At least until you collect all the orbs, then I'll take the beer and snacks away and pretend to be sleepy and ask you to leave.

Keep going for the worthwhile video.

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Weapons Everywhere: Hiding Guns In Plain Sight

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Because nobody needs their friends accidentally shooting each other because you left your gun out on the kitchen counter, Tactical Walls builds inconspicuous gun safes so you can hide your weapons in plain sight, where they're readily available. The safes use special magnetic keys to unlock though, so you're going to need to have that handy if shit hits the fan. Still beats fumbling with a combination lock. Dammit, I can't never remember if I'm supposed to spin right or left first. Depending on the model of Tactical Wall you order, your guns are either placed in foam padding, or stuck directly to the rear magnetic wall. Me? I keep my gun where it belongs -- in my pants. "You're talking about your penis, aren't you?" You're damn right I am. As far as I know I'm the only one in history who's ever showed up to a gun fight packing nothing but a boner and still won.

Keep going for a bunch of videos of their different products.

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Uh-Oh: Solar Energy Plant Setting Birds On Fire In Midair

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A BrightSource solar energy farm in the Mojave Desert of California is under fire *pats myself on the back* after it's been discovered that thousands of birds have been set aflame from the farm's 300,000 focused mirrors. Wow, I feel like that's poor planning. Or, sadly and much more likely, not-giving-a-shit planning.

More than 300,000 mirrors, each the size of a garage door, reflect solar rays onto three boiler towers each looming up to 40 stories high. The water inside is heated to produce steam, which turns turbines that generate enough electricity for 140,000 homes.


Federal wildlife officials said Ivanpah might act as a "mega-trap" for wildlife, with the bright light of the plant attracting insects, which in turn attract insect-eating birds that fly to their death in the intensely focused light rays.

Estimates per year now range from a low of about a thousand by BrightSource to 28,000 by an expert for the Center for Biological Diversity environmental group.

Solar energy: good. Flaming birds: not good. Clearly they need to install some sort of force-field around the facility. Do those exist yet? Those should exist. Maybe we could barter with aliens for the technology. You teach us your force-field technology, and we'll give you, uh, do we even have anything you want? "Zip zap bzzzzrt." Got it, us to die and you take the planet. Not gonna lie, I did see this coming.

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who is so evil he conveniently misplaced the environmental impact report about the facility before it opened.

Damn Mother Nature, Calm Down: Massive Grouper Eats 4-Foot Shark In One Bite

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This is a pretty poor quality video (I dunno, maybe next time get somebody else to hold the camera if you've got the fishing rod) of a Goliath grouper (which can grow to 10-feet and 790-pounds) eating a 4-foot black-tip shark in a single bite. For reference, it probably would have taken me hundreds of bites and at least two bottles of tartar sauce. Honestly, I was hoping an even BIGGER fish was going to come and eat the grouper. Then an even bigger fish would eat that fish, all the way up until a giant space fish swallowed earth whole and I didn't ever have to work again, the end.

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