Feb 6 2010How To: Disappoint A Friend On Their Birthday
Send a ball, that's how. Or nothing. Honestly, I'd prefer nothing. At least you won't piss my mailman off (he already f***s up all my packages).
Send a Ball, the online store that lets you create personalized inflatable balls for any occasion, made its ABC Shark Tank debut tonight. Here's how the business started: "One day I [co-founder Michele) was in Osco, saw a BIN of bouncy balls, grabbed one and thought "I can mail this". Took a sharpie, addressed it to my BFF Sharon, wrote "Have BALL with your new baby", went to the post office and mailed it."
Balls start at $20 and include shipment to anywhere in the US. Which, for a $1 ball and $1 worth of postage, is a 1,000% markup. Which I think we can all agree, is the American way. Also: fat with a false sense of entitlement.
News video with two annoying chicks after the jump.
Continue Reading "How To: Disappoint A Friend On Their Birthday"
Feb 6 2010Finally!: New And Improved Ketchup Packets
Finally, after years of watching me struggle with those impossible-to-open packets, Heinz has decided to take my advice and invest in new condiment applicators. Impressive, but I suggested spray cans. Named (and trademarked) the Dip & Squeeze, the new packet-y things offer both traditional ketchup squeezing capabilities with the added benefit of -- wait for it -- DIPPING!! I'm gonna need a spit cup. Plus, 3x the ketchup as a regular packet. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "I'll never have to buy ketchup from the grocery store again", you are. High-five, cheapskate!
The future, to go: Heinz reinvents the ketchup packet [crunchgear]
Thanks to emerica and Julie, who put ketchup on everything including their partners. Kinky!
Feb 5 2010Game Boy's Super Mario Land Gets Rap Song
NOTE: Song is arguably NSFW due to language like balls and the f word.
This is a pretty funny rap song about Super Mario Land for the Game Boy. It's particularly worth watching if you ever played the game. I had it and I'm proud to announce that not only did I beat it, I smoked it. Mmmm, plastic fumes. Get in my brain!
Epic Super Mario Land Rap [collegehumor]
Thanks to Janice, who beat the game, then around the bush because she doesn't like to brag. Come on, be proud.
Feb 5 2010You Silly 'Lil Dwarf: Detailed Images Of Pluto
Remember when Pluto was a planet? Me neither, I drink too much. And, I don't know if we can really trust anything NASA tells us anymore, but these are allegedly the most detailed images of Pluto ever taken. As you can see, we still have a long ways to go.
NASA today released the most detailed set of images ever taken of the distant dwarf planet Pluto. The images taken by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope show an icy and dark molasses-colored, mottled world that is undergoing seasonal changes in its surface color and brightness. Pluto has become significantly redder, while its illuminated northern hemisphere is getting brighter. These changes are most likely consequences of surface ices sublimating on the sunlit pole and then refreezing on the other pole as the dwarf planet heads into the next phase of its 248-year-long seasonal cycle. The dramatic change in color apparently took place in a two-year period, from 2000 to 2002.
Jesus, a two-year period? Somebody rocket that dwarf planet some sanitary napkins!
New Hubble Maps of Pluto Show Surface Changes [nasa]
via
Most Detailed View of Pluto to Date [gizmodo]
Feb 5 2010Planet Of The Apes Real, On Google Maps
Somebody went and made it look as if the iconic Statue of Liberty scene in Planet of the Apes appears in Google Maps (larger version HERE). Cute. Fun fact: did you know a time-traveling simian from Planet of the Apes is responsible for AIDS? It's true or my name isn't Dick Dragon (it really does is the thing).
Take Your Stinking Maps Off Me, You Damned Dirty Ape! [poppedculture]
Feb 5 2010Sonic The Hedgehog Trailer (With Gameplay!)
This is a "reveal" trailer for the new Sonic the Hedgehog coming to XBox Live because it shows a solid two seconds of gameplay footage. Aaaand it looks just like the old games. So that's cool. I get down with the oldschool. Also, OPP. Yeah you know me!
Official Site
and
Youtube
Thanks to Greg, jantunes, Justin and Kaflooblop, who have all beat Cheetah in 'World Class Track Meet' using the Power Pad and not cheating. Impressive.
Feb 5 2010For Geeky BFF's: Interlocking LEGO Rings
I always wanted one of those split-heart necklaces that you and your BFF were each supposed to wear half of, but I never got the chance. You see, I've never had a BFF. Or for that matter, even an F. I was raised by a powerful sorcerer. I had an owl. I thought he was my friend until he pecked my eyes out for teasing him with a dead field mouse. Interlocking LEGO rings: entirely unlicensed, entirely awesome, entirely $125 per set. Now I'm not saying I just glued a 2x2 brick to a keyring, but will you be my BFF? I know spells!
Etsy Product Page
via
Interlocking Lego Rings [craft]
Thanks to sid beets and Jen, who both thought linking two LEGO rings calls Captain Planet. Um, no.
Feb 5 2010Cutting Down Trees/Zombies With Hello Kitty
A Hello Kitty chainsaw (high-res pic HERE): it was only a matter of time. Makes a great addition to you to Hello Kitty AR-15. But not your family. You don't want that thing suckling your teat for six months. F*** your nipples up.
Hello Kitty Chainsaw [hellokittyhell]
Thanks to GuamOtoko and Isaac, who have beheaded zombies with even MORE feminine chainsaws. If you can believe that.
Feb 4 2010Informational Graphics: State Of The Internet
This is a little (well, large actually) informational graphic explaining who uses the interwebs and some other stuff about this bitchin' series of tubes. There's nothing particularly shocking about the stats except for the fact that US broadband speed sucks big ol' fossilized dino balls compared to everywhere else. Oh, and the State of the Blogosphere section, that part was interesting. Did you know that 16% of bloggers consider themselves "snarky", 44% "humorous" and 54% "expert"? Only one answered "hung like mountain lion, if mountain lions were 18 feet tall and three-quarters penis", and that was me. Just sayin', I can't lie.
Hit the jump for the rest of the moderately informative graphic.
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Feb 4 2010Big Bang Theory Without The Laugh Track
That Sheldon, so funny with his science-y jibber jabber and social awkwardness. Except in this clip, since you don't know when to chuckle because there isn't a laugh track. You can compare the clip to the laugh tracked version (after the jump) and appreciate just what having every joke punctuated with laughter does for a comedy show *AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!* but not a blog.
Hit the jump for the laughier version.
