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GE Creates Moon Boot Inspired High-Tops To Celebrate 45th Anniversary Of Moon Landing


Yesterday, July 20th, marked the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. And to celebrate not giving a shit about the moon anymore, GE has released these limited edition 'THE MISSIONS' high tops. GE was responsible for the original moon boots worn by Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, so it makes sense. It's not like they're TOMS.

GE intends "The Missions" sneakers to draw attention to the advanced materials being developed in its labs today, Linda Boff, executive director of global brand marketing at GE, told Ad Age magazine.

"By highlighting super materials like stabilized carbon fiber and hydrophobic coating in our limited-edition sneakers, it helps people relate to the power of these technologies," she said.

Admittedly, I would wear those. But only to one place. "The moon?" Okay I was gonna say the club, but I do like the way you think. However I don't like the way you're looking at me right now. My eyes are up here, pervert. "Sorry, I was just reading your shirt." Oh really, then what's it say? "It says, 'Look at my penis." Haha! Get's em every time.

Keep going for some closeups.

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Chart Explains How Much Underwear To Pack For A Trip


This is the table developed by Reed Kennedy detailing how much underwear to pack for a trip depending on the length of that trip, and how many times you'll have to do laundry to keep those underwear clean (provided you don't wear the same pair two days in a row because you got drunk and slept in them and never changed before leaving to go drink your hangover away the next morning). The numbers located in the inside boxes are the number of times you'll have to do laundry (with the gold numbers being ideal). Want to pack as little underwear as possible? Don't bring any. After all, you're going on VACATION. If a person can't NOT wear underwear on vacation, are they ever truly free? That was rhetorical. When I go on vacation I only bring the underwear I wear for the flight, then when I get to my hotel I immediately flush them down the toilet, clog the toilet, then go demand a room upgrade. It's only worked out 1 for 4 so far, but that's still successful enough for me to try again next time.

Thanks to Bryan, who doesn't pack underwear for vacations either, because, just like sunscreen, they probably sell underwear where you're going.

You're A Rainbow!: Macro Shot Of A Hummingbird's Face


Note: Larger version HERE in case you ever wondered if a hummingbird's stare can steal your soul (it can).

This is the macro shot of a Green-Crowned Brilliant Hummingbird's face taken by photographer Chris Morgan while on vacation at the Bosque De Paz biological reserve in Costa Rica. You know, Mother Nature -- sometimes you are alright. I mean it's RARE, but when you do, it almost seems to make up for all the other horrible, horrible shit you do. I'll tell you what -- let's call a truce this weekend. You promise I won't find any spiders in my bedroom, and I won't do anything bad for the environment. "Wait -- are you burning car tires?" Haha, I had my fingers crossed you filthy forest nymph!

Thanks to Carlo, who informed me hummingbirds are his fourth favorite kind of bird behind owls, eagles and falcons. Good information to know.

It's Raining Jams: Interactive Cloud Lamp Speaker


This is Cloud, an interactive lamp and speaker designed by Richard Clarkson. It looks like a cloud and lights up to music or nearby movement. It doesn't actually rain though, which is a shame because that would be a great way to tell guests it's time for them to leave.

This smart little creative lamp is replete with lights, motion sensors, microphones, and a powerful speaker system. A remote control allows user to set it to different modes, getting it to act like a simple thunder cloud, to respond to movements in its surroundings, or to respond to sounds or music that it hears around it.

I want one. Unfortunately, they cost $3,360 apiece. So I'm going to do the next best thing: hang a bare bulb from the ceiling and turn my speakers up so loud that it flickers when the bass drops.

Keep going for a video demo of the lamp-speaker in action.

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How To: Make Your Own Sad, Homemade Fleshlight


This is a picture tutorial of how to make your own homemade Fleshlight male sex toy. All it requires is some starch, a cup, a stick, a microwave, and a refrigerator. But, PROTIP: don't get hasty and try using the thing immediately following the microwave step. That's how embarrassing ER visits happen. Also, when the person in the article states, "I think I'll just stick to the real deal," are they referring to a name-brand Fleshlight or an actual vagina? Because I'm going to go out on a limb and say that, for a person who's really considering making their own homemade Fleshlight, an actual vagina might not be a readily available option.

Thanks to [no name], who was clearly too embarrassed to leave a name for a tip about a homemade Fleshlight. Come on, there's no shame in pleasuring yourself (just as long as you're not in public).

Fun For All Ages: Horror Movie Action Figures


This is the series of upcoming $10 horror movie action figures being released by Funko as part of their ReAction line. So far the series will include Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Pinhead, Sam, The Crow, Ghostface, and Michael Myers. They're not the most detailed or articulated action figures I've ever seen, but so what? They're still going to be fun to play with in the bathtub. Oh no, Jason is trying to chop down my penis like a tree -- somebody help! Anybody? Wow, seriously Ninja Turtles -- you're just going to stand on the side of the tub and watch? "Screw that, there's a turd in the water." What? Oh God, there is! *splashing frantically* The warm water is just so soothing sometimes you don't even feel it.

Keep going for the rest.

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Finally, Some Decent Rainbow Colored Ninja Swords


These are the Blades of The Rainbow Ninja sold by ThinkGeek. You can get two short swords for $30, three knives for $30, or all of them for $50. I just ordered zero of each. My blade is the color of the darkest night. For reference, that is a very dark black. But if you ever catch a glimpse in the moonlight you can see it's stained with the blood of countless slain enemies. "That's a yardstick you painted black." IT'S A NINJA BLADE. Now one more word out of you and I'll fill you with ninja stars. "Those soup can lids?" You're worse than playing ninja with my grandma.

Keep going for a shot of a guy with a horse mask on weilding the swords. Also, I own that dino shirt he's wearing.

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There's No Denying It: A Godzilla Roar Cloud Formation


This is the cloud formation spotted by Emileh S. It looks uncannily like Godzilla roaring some sort of powerful beam attack. I would not want to be on the receiving end of that! Or his penis. Wait -- is Godzilla a he or a she? Or both? Or neither? I'm only asking so I can get my sexual fantasies in line.

Thanks Emileh, and be sure to let me know if you see anything else in the clouds. Especially angels and/or UFOs.