Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Breasty Russian Billboards Cause 500 Accidents In A Day


This is one of the 30 mobile advertisements that were being driven around Moscow earlier this week, causing 517 accidents in a single day. Presumably by Ruskies who had never seen a pair of titties before and/or were driving to work drunk on vodka.

The massive adverts placed on the side of 30 trucks driving around Moscow showed a woman's breasts cupped in her hands with the slogan 'They Attract' across her nipples.

The stunt, by an advertising agency specialising in mobile adverts, backfired after police sent out patrols to round up all the vehicles and impound them until the risque images could be removed.

Motorist Ildar Yuriev, 35, said: 'I was on my way to a business meeting when I saw this truck with a huge photo of breasts on its side go by.

'Then I was hit by the car behind who said he had been distracted by the truck. It made me late and left my car in the garage, and although I am insured I am still out of pocket.'

Furious drivers across Moscow have reportedly bombarded the agency with compensation claims.

The advertising agency has stated it will pay for any damages caused by the mobile hooters that are in excess of a driver's insurance. This reminds me, I saw a billboard for 76 brand gas stations when I was driving the other day that read, "Keep Your Eyes On The Road." I was blown away. So blown away I crashed right into it. ON PURPOSE. Then came back that night and added a giant graffiti penis and changed the words to read, "Keep Your Eyes On This Rod.' It's what I want to be remembered for when I die.

Thanks to Ashleigh, who agrees there's no excuse for crashing your car short of a McDonald's billboard advertising the McRib is back.

Sheet Music For Jeff Goldblum's Laugh In Jurassic Park


This is the sheet music created by Evan Kent to replicate Jeff Goldblum's laugh from Jurassic Park. That laugh, my God. I can't help but feel tingly all over -- like angels are tickling my scalp. *closes eyes, fantasizing* Ooooh, now it's like a velociraptor giving me a handjob. "Is that a GOOD feeling?" Nope, tore the damn thing right off and ran away with it. "Clever girl." Pretty sure it was a dude.

Keep going for a worthwhile remix of Goldblum's laugh in the movie if you've never seen it.

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Pumpkins Grown In Frankenstein's Monster Face Molds


Tony Dighera of Cinagro Farms in Ventura County, California, has spent the last four years developing the perfect mold to grow these Frankenstein's monster faced pumpkins in. This year was his first successful commercial harvest, producing 5,500 molded pumpkins, which he sold to suppliers for $75 apiece. That's over $400,000 in profit. Next year he plans to devote his entire farm to the pumpkins (including some skull-shaped white pumpkins) and produce between 30,000 - 40,000. Damn, Tony is going to be rolling in the dough! So much dough you'd swear he owned a bread farm. "Um, GW? You do know bread doesn't grown on trees, right?" Fine, bushes, WHATEVER.

Keep going for a bunch more shots.

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Walking Dead Opener With All The Zombies Replaced With Actual Stumbling Drunks


This is The Walking Drunk, an edit of The Walking Dead opener by Youtuber Marca Branca with all the clips of the undead replaced with clips of actual drunks stumbling around. The resemblance is uncanny. Are drunks really just one step away from the walking dead? I dunno, but I certainly feel like a zombie when I get drunk sometimes. Except instead of brains I want microwavable pizza rolls and to just be able to pee wherever I'm laying.

Keep going for the video.

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All The Rage: Lifelike Japanese Dolls That Squirt Drink Out Of One Breast When You Squeeze The Other


Note: Video is entirely NSFW unless you work somewhere really cool.

Seen here being waxed on by Mr. Miyagi, this is a video of the $5,000 realistic naked lady dolls from Japan that squirt drink out one breast when you squeeze the other. Several of the people in the video don't just squeeze the breast though, they MASSAGE it. I'm not sure if that makes your drink smoother or what, but they really get into it. Obviously, this is going to be a huge hit at my Halloween party. I'm going to fill her reservoir with witch's brew and put a Cleopatra headdress on her. No -- A BATMAN MASK.

Keep going for the video.

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6-Year Old Tries To Name All Super Smash Bros Players


This is allegedly the name chart of Super Smash Bros characters according to 6-year old Chloe, who was asked by her older brother Lorenzo to name them all. She did a great job. Way better than my little sister could have done, but she's not allowed to play video games. "Why not?" Because we only have one TV and I'm way bigger.

Thanks to Raz, who refuses to play if she can't be Pakistan.

Clever Smartphone Animation Enabled Halloween Masks


This is a video highlighting a bunch of Halloween masks ($45 - $60) and t-shirts ($25 - $30) made to slip a smartphone (or tablet) into while playing a custom animation for ADDED SPOOKY EFFECT. You really just need to watch the video to understand. You can buy the masks and shirts at their website HERE and download the app for the animations HERE (Android) and HERE (Apple). Pretty clever, but I've already decided what I'm going to be for Halloween this year. "Arrested?" If last year is any indication, I should be eating ham and cheese jail sandwiches by the 29th.

Keep going for a worthwhile video of all the masks.

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Demonstration Of 15th Century Combat In Full Armor


This is a video demonstrating medieval combat maneuvers and strategies in full armor. Apparently the secret to success was managing to get your sword into the eye hole in your enemy's helmet. For reference, that is still an applicable strategy today. Same goes for using magic to freeze their hearts and kill them from the inside out. Back me up, Merlin! "I'm not making you another boner potion." Haha, what?! I've never asked for one of those! Come on bro, I brought you those dragon scales you needed.

Keep going for the video, then meet me in the woods behind my house and we'll beat each other with sticks until my mom calls us for dinner.

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