Nov 6 2009 Holy Smoking Cans: 5,000 Volt Can Crusher
Bob David went and built himself a 5,000 volt can crusher just because he could. That's what I love about people: they do things for no reason. Also, some of them smell good. But don't let 'em catch you sniffing! If you care how Bob built the thing you can watch the first two minutes, but you look ADD-y, so skip to 2:15 for the action. Cool, huh? Now, let's snort some Adderall.
Sep 2 2009 Japan To Build An Outerspace Power Plant (To Power The Robots Of The Apocalypse)
Somebody better blast a proton torpedo through this thing's auxiliary exhaust port or it's game over, man. I'm serious too -- if you don't think this thing isn't gonna be powering our metallic harbingers of death, you're delusional. So, yeah, Japan is coughing up $21 billion to have a bigass solar panel floating around in space and sending the energy back to planet urf.
[The power station] will beam enough energy back to Earth to power 294,000 homes. With no cables.
The whole deal is being put together by Mitsubishi Electric Corp. and industrial design company IGI Corp. The plan involves a gigantic solar panel floating around in space, soaking up a gigawatt of energy and beaming it to Earth without the use of cables. And they hope to have it ready to rock within four years.
Wow, you're not gonna wanna get in the way of that energy beam. Because one time I stood in front of a satellite internet dish for too long and 0101001010 10011 00001 01010010 1010 010100111 0101. Whoa, what just happened -- and why are my pants wet?
Japan to Spend $21,000,000,000 on a Power Plant in F%#king Space [gizmodo]
Thanks to Brian and Schmitty, who know the only the only good station in space is a topless service station with a Slush Puppy machine and lots of candy.
Aug 3 2009 It's About Time: Attaching Lasers To Airplanes
Applied Electronics, a company we last saw developing lightning guns, has now been handed a big ass check by the gubment to start strapping lasers to planes. And, I, for one, am all about it. NEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOW -- pew pew!
the Navy and the Marines have given a company called Applied Electronics about a million dollars to attach lasers onto planes. The weapons would be ultra-short-pulse (USP) lasers, which shoot beams of frequent-pulse light that create a path through the air, via which bolts of electricity can travel toward a target.
Okay, I have no idea what all that meant, but I'm pretty sure Zeus just popped like 16 electric boners.
Company Last Seen Making Lightning Guns Is Now Attaching Lasers To Planes [popsci]
Thanks to Mih0, who, for two tips in a row, gets to yell "lightning bolt!" and hit me in face with a foam dart.
Jun 17 2009 Zappity Zap!: Police Will Tase Your Grandma
Just in case you were wondering, the police will tase your 72-year old grandma. You hear that, members of the geriatric species? YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT FROM THE ZAPPERY! Also, does the officer really yell "TASERED!" as he's doing it? Because that's awesome. I'm gonna start doing that.
POSTED! LEAVE A COMMENT -- LEAVE A COMMENT!!
Thanks to Watch-303, alex, double dragon, The Naked Wizard and Beth, who would have torn the electrodes out and flown off on their jetpacks like superheroes.
Apr 29 2009 Spellbound Apprentice Casts Off Wizard Hat And Robe, Gets Tazed By The Po-diddly
NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW DUE TO THE WORLD'S SMALLEST PENIS.
This is a video from Coachella of a wizard who refuses to put his hat and robe back on (you're doing it wrong!) and instead waves his minuscule penis around like Harry Potter trying to cast a spell of sadness on anyone foolish enough to look.
"It doesn't have to stop," the Naked Wizard says.
"I'll tell you what," the cop says. "You can have a great time -- but you can have an even better time if you put your clothes on...Can I get them for you?"The officer grabs the gown and tosses to the Naked Wizard, but he casts it away again. Then the cops put on their rubber gloves, and things get ugly.
You really can't help but feel sorry for the guy. But, on the upside, this video should make you feel good about your own magic stick. So make sure to watch the video with your significant other while pointing at the dude's nubbin and telling them to be thankful. I swear, a naked wizard on drugs with the world's smallest penis getting tasered by the diddly -- is today my birthday or what?
Naked Wizard Taser Brawl At Coachella [huffingtonpost]
Thanks to A-lice in Wonderland and chainsawarms, who both noted the magician's wand was probably too small to cast any real dangerous spells.
Mar 1 2009 PEW PEW?: Man Holds Woman Hostage For Ten Hours With Original SEGA Light-Phaser
That's right folks, a Brazilian man held a 60-year old woman hostage for ten whopping hours with a Sega Master System Light Phaser. Captain PEW was looking to collect on an unpaid debt, and things got 8-bitty when the lady refused to pay.
The Light Phaser, the light gun that shipped with the Sega Master System, must be fairly common in Brazil, considering how incredibly popular the 8-bit console was in the country--it was one of Sega's strongest markets.
Fortunately, the man released his hostage, unharmed, after negotiating with police.
Well thank goodness there was no shootout! Because one time a friend tried to PEW PEW me with a NES Zapper and I was given no choice but to jam it up his ass, cord and all. Suffice it to say, Duck Hunt = awkward.
Brazilian Man Holds Woman Hostage For 10 Hours... With A Sega Light Gun [kotaku]
Thanks to Deathbat and Bourtney, who once held an entire break room full of coworkers hostage with coffee maker.
Dec 24 2008 Scientists Say 'Sex Chips' Are Coming Soon
Sex chips. My God, what if they come in honey bbq flavor?
The chip works by sending tiny shocks from implanted electrodes in the brain.
Neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, said: "There is evidence that this chip will work. A few years ago a scientist implanted such a device into the brain of a woman with a low sex drive and turned her into a very sexually active woman. She didn't like the sudden change, so the wiring in her head was removed."An electronic machine, named the Orgasmatron (pictured above), taken from the 1973 Woody Allen film Sleeper, is already under development by a North Carolina doctor, who is modifying a spinal cord stimulator to produce pleasure in women.
I mean, this is great and all, but for the ultimate in pleasure, I've got two words for you: me. Baby, I will take you places you've never been. Including, but not limited to: the emergency room, and Advance Auto. Ladies?
'Sex chip' being developed by scientists [telegraph]
Thanks to Pete, who, behind me (not literally), is the world's 2nd greatest lover. It's true, he even has the coffee mug to prove it.
Jun 9 2008 Lightning Guns To Help Fight The War On Terrorism, Old People With Pacemakers
A company called Applied Energetics is developing lightning guns capable of stalling cars and shorting IEDs from a safe distance. They were originally planning on using them on people, but have since moved to cars and bombs after an unsuccessful attempt at rounding up test subjects (bums). The weapon is expected to be ready within 5-6 years and I'll definitely be adding one to my anti-robot arsenal. You hear that, Zeus? I said I won't be needing your lightning bolt services after all. Your rates were ridiculous anyways you greedy bastard. Oh, and while I'm at it -- I banged your wife/sister Hera! Two birds with one stone, baby! Chalk it up.
Lightning Guns to Short Out Cars, Fry Roadside Bombs [gizmodo]
Thanks Sev, don't lightning me bro!
May 22 2008 Oh Man, I NEED One: Duckhunt Hunting Hat
Man with one of these I wouldn't feel so out of place shooting the bull with the "colorful locals" (read: rednecks) in town. A pixelated duck being shot at is the universal language of men in these parts. And at only $22 this hat is practically a steal. Although truthfully, I've never actually paid for a hat before. I just show up at the bar around 11:00 A.M. when they open and take any that were left on coat racks the night before. Then I proceed to get drunk and brag about any good finds. Which, nowadays, is anything without scabies.
Duck Hunt Trucker Hat, Not What I Always Wanted, But It'll Do [uberreview]
May 6 2008 Duck Hunt Lamp Is Looking Zappertastic
Based on the picture quality this thing could have been made 450 years ago. But I doubt it because the Nintendo Zapper and Duck Hunt didn't exist until at least the mid 1800's*. So we'll just assume the picture was taken with a pinhole camera made out of a Quaker Oats canister that someone forgot to eat all the oats out of first. It's a Duck Hunt/Zapper lamp. It looks good. I'd make one and put it in the living room but I'd stumble into the end table drunk one night and destroy it. That and I'm not sure how I feel about desecrating old school Nintendo cartridges (okay, the lamp's base is actually larger than a real game and made out of cardboard) and peripherals to make household objects. Well, except for the Power Glove. Sweetest oven mitt ever.
I Love Duck Hunt Lamp [albotas]
Apr 24 2008 A Vision Of The Future: Robots With Lasers
These Kondo KHR-1HV robots are all rocking lasers for a world domination training exercise poorly disguised as the Blazer robot tournament in Fukuoka City, Japan. The little guys ran around shooting each other and pew-pewing to their mechanical heart's content in a little mock-up city made just for them. Whoever thought that this would be a good idea was wrong. The little bastards are going to kill us all. I mean, these people are indirectly training our future overlords by allowing them to play these war games. I guess what I'm getting at is that I've built a hidden shelter beneath my tool shed in the back yard and I'm looking for several attractive young ladies to join me. I am now officially accepting applications. But no funny stuff! Namely scrunching your penis up behind you so it looks like you don't have one. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice a week for the entire duration of a five month relationship and I am freaking scarred for life. Thanks a lot.
VIDEO of the little guys duking it out laser style after the jump.
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