May 4 2009 Uh-Oh: A New 'Zombie' Strain Of Swine Flu

MORE: awesomeness , bbc , clever , fake , funny , haha! , i like , jokes , kill those undead bastards , nice , not good , smart thinking , trickery , uh-oh , undead , you're obviously not a golfer , zombies

zombie swine flu.jpg

The BBC is reporting a new 'zombie' (H1Z1) strain of swine flu that is capable of resuscitating the recently dead. Holy sawed-off shotgun shit!

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it's victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."

If you haven't guessed, this is fake as hell, but the story looks like a genuine BBC article (see picture). The only catch is it's hosted on another website (bounce.with.me.uk). Still, you can probably trick at least a few of your dumber friends into buying it. And, if they do fall for it (and they are ladies), I want you to convey a message for me: I'm the world's greatest lover.

EU quarantines London in flu panic [bouncwith]

Thanks to herbert, Trin, Alex 'Bloody Shadow' and andrew, who tricked all their friends into drinking the Kool-Aid and are now all friendless.

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Jan 21 2009 FastSkinz: Improve Your Gas Mileage And Achieve That Coveted Golf Ball Look

MORE: car , gas , gasoline , green technology , interesting , leet , money can't buy golf balls , petrol , physics , physics are phun! , questionable , science , sports , sure why not , trust me i'm a fucking scientist , you're obviously not a golfer

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Let's face it, we all want our cars to look more like golf balls. But what's a guy to do? Simple, have FastSkinz applied! Fastskinz look dimply and also improve your vehicle's gas mileage. Now I don't really want to go into details (I'll leave that for the quote), but I think it has something to do with dimples being super-cute and a highly desirable characteristic in a mate.

Long ago, golf ball manufacturers discovered that a dimpled surface would help a ball to fly farther through the air with less drag, so why not apply the same thinking to cars? The dimples reduce the wake turbulence caused by early separation of the boundary layer...The company claims an 18-20 percent improvement in gas mileage, although independent testing is still needed.

I didn't bother reading that, but I'm pretty confident I was right: golf balls have dimples and require almost no gas, so it only makes sense that a dimply car shouldn't either. Damn, I really am the L337 science guy. F*** you, Bill Nye!

FastSkinz claims to improve your car's mileage using golf ball technology [dvice]

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