May 22 2008 Readers: I Have A Birthday Coming Up And There's A Jet Bike For Sale On eBay (Hint)
I've been emailing my Congressman forever requesting he make jet engines required safety equipment on all vehicles, but does he listen to the pleas of common citizens? Noooo. So now I have to buy a blackmarket rocket bike from a potential scam artist on eBay in order to procure a safe damn bike. And here it is. Built by "the world's top pulsejet engine designer and builder" Robert Maddox, the engine puts out 50-60 pounds of thrust and is capable of speeding the bike up to approximately 75 MPH. Sounds good right? Well it's not bad, but even such a paltry engines come with warnings.
JET ENGINES ARE DANGEROUS!! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ENGINES RUNS AT 140 DECIBELS AND GLOWS RED-COOL!!
Glows red-cool. I like that, I'm gonna start using it. Anyway, you readers get together and buy this for me for my birthday. Because if you don't, well, it'll be the third year in a row I didn't get anything. Well, that's not entirely true -- last year the dog left me a little present on the bed. Whee, shit on the bed, happy birthday to me! The sad part is that I actually appreciated the gesture.
A couple more pictures (including a pretty sweet looking jet-kart) and a video of the bike in action, after the jump. And, just for the hell of it, I added a funny video of a kid on a firework powered skateboard (watch the whole video).
Apr 9 2008 BB Gun With All Kinds Of Stuff Hanging Off It
This is the Walther NightHawk BB Gun. As you can see it looks like they threw on every extra peripheral possible. It's got a flashlight, red dot sight, muzzle compensator, microwave, and I think I saw a hot tub. Okay, so no microwave. Still, it is pretty sweet looking. Unfortunately the $160 gun only holds 8 rounds per clip and shoots at a paltry 360 FPS. But besides that, it's cool. Did I mention I like the styling? I like the styling. I think this is just the thing to tote when I'm breaking into the neighbor's house to steal beer at night when I'm too drunk to drive. I've got one on the way, so I'll update and let you know how Mission Too Drunk To Drive But Not Drunk Enough To Sleep goes.
UPDATE: He shot me... the old bastard shot me... he had real gun... bleeding... lots... someone please call... Domino's... see if one of their drivers can... ugh... swing by with a case...
Video review of the gun after the jump.
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