Note: NSFW language, just put your headphones in and pretend you're catching up on the news. So it's only mid-April and already we've got a 2012 blooper reel of reporters accidentally saying penis, hooters and boner on-air. Wow, these people might actually suck at their jobs ... / Continue →

This is a video of an industrial robot arm that's been programmed to scratch records. He...isn't very good. Plus he doesn't even realize there isn't another record playing until 1:40 so it's literally JUST scratching until then and made me want to blow my own brains out. And... / Continue →

Because George Lucas is a bearded moron who's proved nothing in the past twenty years but the lingering suspicion his earlier successes were dependent on the creativity (and strength to say "no, that idea blows") of others, Jar-George has now decided to resurrect previously cut... / Continue →

Because George Lucas' dingleberrydom knows no bounds, it was just announced the entire Star Wars hexlogy will be stereoed into 3-D and look worse than that picture I used. Sonofabitch. There are few movies that lend themselves more perfectly to 3D; from the Death Star trench ... / Continue →

What in the...? How could you have possibly screwed this up? WHY IS THE ENTERPRISE ON THE COVER? AND WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE REVIEWS FROM? Holy shit, seasons 1-4 all in one box? Sold! UPDATE: VHS quality video of a farmer killing chickens for six hours. 3/5 stars. Bl... / Continue →

Some failure at life just got arrested for marinating his cat in the trunk of his car after getting pulled over for running a stop sign. "It was just taking an aromatic bath, I swear!" Riiiiight, and I'm just about to fix your hair with my baton. Police in Buffalo arrested 5... / Continue →

Note: Video is after the jump because I motorboated a mermaid on the back of a jet ski once. I know, I know, now I'm just bragging. If you haven't seen this video already it's basically an advertisement for birth control. Or maybe life vests. Whichever the case, one thing's... / Continue →

A group of would-be thieves were recently arrested after picking the wrong alley to conduct a mugging. You know, because they did it right in front of a ninja school. Master Splinter?! The German exchange student had been targeted by the men while he was riding the late-nigh... / Continue →

In a case of life imitating art (in this case, comic book art), a man dressed as Spiderman stopped a would-be thief from stealing a $160 comic on Free Comic Book Day this last Sunday. He was aided in his crime-fighting by two Jedi knights and The Flash. Not even kidding. Ade... / Continue →

18-year old idiot moron James N. P. Miller (because one initial wasn't enough) scored a DWI (you can't even drink legally!) on Halloween while wearing his 'blow here' breathalyzer costume. Not so good lookin', N.P. Can I call you N.P.? You know I'm going to anyways. Accordi... / Continue →