Oct 7 2009 I'm Pirating All Her Songs Just To Spite Her: A Horribly Singing Robot
Yamaha's HRP-4C robot, best known for having pervs take pictures of its ass and modeling wedding dresses, can now sing song requests sent to it via iPhone. Impressive, Yamaha. I mean, if I DIDN'T SEE MORE IMPRESSIVE TECHNOLOGY AT CHUCK E CHEESE'S 20 YEARS AGO. Oooooh, burn! Seriously -- this thing, with fire. And while we're on the subject, somebody's dad touched my butt in the ballpit.
Hit the jump for a video of the robotic tramp singing terribly.
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May 23 2008 Wack: Yamaha's New Motorcycle Concept
When you think of motorcycles what's the first thing that comes to mind? Exactly, that they should be wearable. Well finally designer Jake Loniak has created the Yamaha Deus Ex Machina (Latin for Ass Machine). The bike is "an electric, single passenger, vertically parking, wearable motorcycle, and the bike would theoretically be controlled via 36 pneumatic muscles and 2 linear actuators." The thing would allegedly be capable of hitting 0-60 MPH in three seconds and 60-0 in the side of a bus. Anybody else think Jake modeled this thing after those scary-ass Wheelers in Return To Oz? I bet he did. And speaking of scary things in movies -- what do you call a kid that cries and pees himself in the theater because his dad took him to an R-rated horror flick when he was 7? A giant pussy and no son of mine! Get it? Because that's what my dad said before he emptied my Skittles onto the floor and made me walk home.
A couple more pictures and a video of the Wheelers after the jump, in case you didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
Aug 31 2007 Tenori-On Music Sequencer
When I first saw this thing I was so hopped up on White Out and spray paint that I thought the guy in the picture was trying to burn a hole in me with his laser eyes. I'm pretty sure he still is, but I noticed that he's holding something. That thing is the Yamaha Tenori-On musical sequencer.
It consists of a screen, held in the hands, of a sixteen by sixteen grid of LED switch buttons, any of which can be activated in a number of ways to create an evolving musical soundscape. The LED switches are held within an aluminium frame, which has two inbuilt speakers, as well as a number of buttons and a dial, which control the type of sound produced.
It's been in development for several years, and is apparently going to be released in the UK in September. I couldn't find a figure on the cost though, which means it's probably more than I'll ever have. Until then, I'll just keep making the only music I know how, the music of love. With the ladies. Lots of them. Pretty ones. Like my girlfriend when I first met her but not anymore. Oh jesus am I in trouble. Honey, if you're reading this I guess you just broke up with me.
A video after the jump.
Jul 18 2007 BODiBEAT matches music to exercise for you
Yamaha is introducing its BODiBEAT which they claim is "the first music playback device that synchronizes your music to the movement of your workout." It monitors your pulse and then selects music for you based on the pace of your exercise. The thing costs $300 and has 512MB of flash memory. Although I wonder what it would pick for me while I'm doing my daily workout of bench pressing 800 pounds. Maybe some Yanni? A little Britney Spears perhaps?
