Nov 16 2009 WTF WAS THAT?: Boy Loses His Cool, Cries And Punches Wall Over Modern Warfare 2
NOTE: NSFW DUE TO LANGUAGE. WATCH IT WITH HEADPHONES ON OR THE VOLUME LOW.
There's rock bottom, and then they're webcam-ing yourself crying and punching the wall over your disappointment about Modern Warfare 2. Jesus, kid, fix yourself a spot of tea and calm the f*** down. Oh, and for the love of God: lose the milk mustache.
Thanks to kweks, who had a meltdown about the new Super Mario Bros. for Wii but was smart enough not to tape it.
Oct 3 2009 It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360
Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you're an idiot. Also, what's your home address?
The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.
When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.
What the hell's the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii's for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn't even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info.
Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.
Continue Reading " It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360 "
Aug 31 2009 Is That A Spaceship?: XBox 720 Concept
This is a conceptual design of an XBox 720 by Tai Chiem. Why he assumes that Microsoft is even gonna call the new console the 720 is beyond me. It's not like there was a 180. Maybe they'll call it a 540. Or, if they're really high, the 420. Anyways, I only posted this because it reminds of the spaceship in 'Flight of the Navigator' and that movie is badass. Who else wants one of those little Puckmaren aliens that the kid stuffs into his backpack at the end? I do. Also, Sarah Jessica Parker when she was 21. And no, that's not creepy of me. "See you later, Navigator!"
Hit the jump for several other renderings from different angles.
Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento
This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.
The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.
Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!
Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]
Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.
Jun 23 2009 Halo On The Dallas Cowboys Video Wall
This is someone playing Halo for the XBox 360 on the Dallas Cowboys stadium video wall. It is fairly large. Not as big as my TV, but close. Per tipster Mike the Robot Destroyer:
Long time follower of your site. I check it about 400 times a day to keep apprised of all activity pertaining to robots and their very disturbing evolutionary path towards the ability to kill all humanity. We both know they are already self aware and feel the urge to kill us, they are just waiting for us to give them the tools. I'm convinced robot scientists have been hypnotized by mind robots - either that, or robot scientists are really just future robots sent back in time to invent future robots..... hmmmmmm
No idea what that has to do with playing giant Halo, but at least he's got his head in the right place.
Thanks Mike the Robot Destroyer, now get out there and make your Geekologie Writer proud!
Jun 2 2009 XBox's Project Natal: You ARE The Controller
XBox announced Project Natal at E3 yesterday and, hooray. Basically it's a video camera capable of full-body tracking so that you can punch and kick and break your television to your heart's content. This is a video of the possibilities. Also, there's another video after the jump that introduces Milo, which appears to be some kind of pedo-program that makes it easier to troll the interweb for 12-year old boys. Because, let's face it, AOL chatrooms are beat, yo.
Hit the jump for the other video that made no sense and not just because I stopped paying attention and went to heat my burrito (ladies?) after thirty seconds.
Continue Reading " XBox's Project Natal: You ARE The Controller "
May 17 2009 XBox 360/Zune Mashup Device Coming?
Is Microsoft working on a device that combines functionality of the XBox 360 and Zune? I don't even know what the hell that would be, but maybe.
The project, codenamed "xYz," is said to feature a WVGA touchscreen and a way to play music and movies on both the device as well as the Xbox 360. Basically, it's going to be a connected handheld gaming system with rich multimedia features.
Eh. Also, "xYz" -- what a horrible codename. I can already think of like a million better ones. Including, and pretty much limited to, "Project Zune Liquidation".
May 12 2009 $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games
Looking to blow $2,500 on something that's bound to get all scuffed up and smell funky within a few months? Cool, buy me one of those masturbation machines. Or these shoes.
These are an exclusive pair...only one of its kind. Patent leather back with embedded fiber optic wiring in the shape of the XBOX logo. Battery placement is in the tongue as well as on and off switch that has 2 settings: Strobe or Constant light functions. Gradient lime swoosh faded to black. The toe is painted in a surreal Tiger Camouflage with accents of lime and bright green. These are a men's size 11.
$2,500 for a pair of sneakers? For that kind of money I was at least expecting them to play Halo. Yeah, and have speakers so I can hear all the penisless pre-pubescent boys telling me what a homosexual African American I am.
Hit the jump for several more shots including the fiber optics in action.
Continue Reading " $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games "
May 4 2009 X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles
Flickr user Reintji went and took a bunch of x-rays of video game consoles and controllers, from both today and yesteryear. And also, the future. Just kidding, no future. If time machines existed you'd know it because I'd be writing steamy romance novels about the time I banged a dinosaur but was left only partially satisfied because the third member of our ménage à trois got eaten by a Megalosaurus on the way to the party. So yeah, what I just said. Boom, great tie-in.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more (use file names for identification) and a link to the full Flickr gallery.
Continue Reading " X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles "
Apr 29 2009 Man Kills Friend In XBox Fueled Fight
In a serious act of good sportsmanship fail, some guy killed some other guy because the one dude (the dead one) kept beating him at Call of Duty (and yes, I am the L337 journalist). And no, that picture has nothing to do with the story besides the chicks happen to be XBox girls. I just thought it might lighten up the mood a little bit. Like mood lighting, but with boobs. Mood boobs.
Joseph Johnson, aged 28, from Chicago, is facing first-degree murder charges for allegedly killing a man while they played games together on an Xbox 360.
Johnson and Danny Taylor, aged 24, were allegedly playing video games at an apartment when tension escalated and they got into a fight. This led to Johnson allegedly shooting Taylor in the back of the head.
Jesus. Sure, I've thrown my fair share of controllers, and maybe one time I beat my brother in the head pretty badly with a Game Boy -- but actually killing somebody over a video game? That's crossing the line. THIS AIN'T NO GAME, SON, THIS IS REAL LIFE!
R.I.P. Danny.
Xbox Murder: Man Kills Acquaintance While Playing Videogame [allaboutthegames]
Thanks to Matty, who once tried to strangle a roommate with a wireless controller.
Mar 23 2009 Scientific: A Periodic Table Of XBox Games
The latest in a line of geeky periodic tables comes the Periodic Table of XBox Games from Blackwalt (possibly of LOST fame). Full size version HERE and description of all "elements" HERE. Good looking. I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do. And also, this cake. P.S. I baked a stripper inside just for you. Be careful -- she's smokin' hot! But only temperature wise, she's actually just an ugly hooker. Or she was, before I hit her with my car. Now she's a liability. And also -- your problem. Gotta go!
A Masterpiece from HoC Productions [herdofcats]
Thanks Blackwalt, now tell me: what's the secret of the island?
Mar 18 2009 Hey, Gamer Chicks Need Love Too (Call Me)
Is that Megatron? He looks....different. Jowly. Really jowly. Transform and rolls out!
Thanks to gizmoduck, who is a chick but dresses like Link. Which, hey, is a-okay in my book (send pictures).
Mar 16 2009 Ooh La La: A Gallery Of X-Box 360 Mods
Personally, I like my XBox just the way it came: solid gold with diamond accents. But apparently some of you peasants like to glue plastic and shit to your XBoxes to make you feel special. Good for you. Hit the jump for a bunch more, including several Halo mods and a pretty sweet looking clock/tissue box combo. Now if you'll excuse me, I must call my servant to wipe my lips clean after breakfast. *ahem* Heeeeere kitty, kitty.
Hit it for a bunch more and the link to an even larger gallery.
Mar 8 2009 Wow: Over 64,000 Years Of Halo 3 Played
That's right folks, if you add up all the individual hours people have played Halo 3, it comes out to over 64,000 years.
The billionth game of Halo 3 was played last Saturday. Bungie then calculated the play time of every online match - not counting custom maps - and it reaches 2,023,153,340,764 seconds, which equals out to roughly 64,000 years.
To further drive home the point of how huge of a number that is, they mentioned that 64,000 years ago neanderthal walked the Earth and modern man hadn't yet set foot in Asia.
Some guy in the comments went on to speculate that a low-ball estimate of World of Warcraft gameplay was up around 750,000 years. Either way, I'm crying. And not because we haven't cured cancer either it's just that *sniff* I'm so damn proud of you guys.
Halo 3 reaches one billion matches and 64,000 years of play time [omghalo]
Thanks to Mark, who contributed not one but 10,000 of those years.
Feb 27 2009 XBox Live's Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy
XBox Live doesn't want you letting anybody know you're gay. Because that's offensive. Recently, a woman was banned from online gaming for identifying herself as a lesbian in her profile.
My account was suspended because I had said in my profile that I was a lesbian. I was harassed by several players, 'chased' to different maps/games to get away from their harassment. They followed me into the games and told all the other players to turn me in because they didn't want to see that crap or their kids to see that crap.
As if xbox live is really appropriate for kids anyways! My account was suspended and xbox live did nothing to solve this, but instead said others found it offensive.
Hey, that reminds me, people suck. Per XBox Live's don't tell policy:
In regards to sexual orientation, for gamertags or profiles we do not allow expression of any type of orientation, be that hetero or other. Players can, however, self identify in voice communication where context is more easily explained to all players involved.
Weak. I say XBox embrace the gay community and ban all the harassers. I'm tired of gaming with a bunch of pre-pubescent boys anyways. Their voices alone make me want to throw the system out the window. Tolerance, XBox, tolerance. And for those of you that feel stifled by the inability to post your sexual preference on XBox Live, feel free to do so here. I'll even get us started with the first comment.
Identifying Yourself As A Lesbian Gets You Banned On XBOX Live [consumerist]
and
Microsoft's Policy Regarding Identifying Sexual Orientation On XBOX Live [consumerist]
Thanks to Marc, who was tolerant even after I puked in his car.
Feb 11 2009 Craft Time: More Custom Painted XBox 360's
We last saw painter ricepuppet's work when he painted the wickedly good looking Domo-kun (that lovable brown man-eating turd) XBox 360. Well now he's back at it, this time with a Hello Kitty 360, and several others. Trying to get your girl into gaming? Try a custom painted XBox 360 from ricepuppet! Trying to get your girl into bed? Try something like "princess, I would rescue you even if it meant searching another castle"*. And, if that doesn't work, "FIRE!!"
Hit the jump for more Kitty, Sonic, Halo, and Chocobo 360's.
*Up to four. Four castles is my limit.
Continue Reading " Craft Time: More Custom Painted XBox 360's "
Jan 5 2009 Wow, That's Devotion: An X-Box 360 Room
Some guy went and decked out his rumpus room XBox 360 style. It has everything an XBox fan would need to game their life away, including, and pretty much limited to: an Xbox 360, green paint, and a mini-fridge.
This is my Xbox 360 Room I have been working on.
TV, Xbox 360, TV Table, Surround Sound=$3000
Led's,Led Driver,Led Dimming switch = $ 170
Rug at a Department Store = $ 120
Mini Fridge = $ 108
Chairs at a Department Store = $ 100
The floor I found on closeout
I installed myself = $ 85
painted the walls and logos myself = $ 80
painted and etched the glass tables = $ 10
Playing Xbox 360 in green glow = Priceless
Wow. That's....something. Something totally freaking awesome! Oh, and you may have already seen this, as it's pretty old. So good for you if you have. You should probably be writing Geekologie. Unfortunately, I'm the one with the internet face. Better luck next time, you handsome devil you!
Youtube
Thanks to Manwai, who was going to build a PS3 room but decided on a pool instead.
Jan 1 2009 Domo-kun XBox 360 May Eat Other Consoles
I actually made it to 2009! Last night when I was writing the Happy New Year post I still had my doubts about the last few hours of 2008 doing me in, but here I am. Suck it, Death! Go sickle some other sorry bastard you skeletal taint!
Anyway, this is a Domo-kun themed XBox 360 made by DeviantARTist Ricepuppet for his sister-in-law. As you can see, it's brown and looks like a turd that wants to eat you. Kind of like that dream you have when you eat fish right before bed. No, not vagina.
domo-kun mod makes a toothy 360 [technabob]
Dec 17 2008 Smart: Stolen XBox Located Using Controller
A Missouri State student returned to his dorm room only to find his XBox 360 had been stolen. But one of the controllers had been left, and was still picking up a signal. So, using the peripheral, the gamer was able hone in on the stolen console.
Ketsenburg, who lives in Hutchens House, said that after his Xbox was stolen, he turned on his wireless Xbox controller and found that it was still connecting to his Xbox. Based on this discovery, Ketsenburg said he realized that his Xbox must be nearby, he said.
The controller connected to the Xbox on the fourth, fifth and sixth floors of Hutchens but not on the third floor and seventh floor, so through process of elimination, Ketsenburg said he figured out that the stolen Xbox must be on the fifth floor.Following the controller's signal, Ketsenburg said he was able to pinpoint the room where his Xbox was stolen.
The 5th floor resident assistant checked the alleged room where the stolen Xbox was and was able to find the Xbox, Ketsenburg said.
Oh man, that's great. The thief is being expelled and Ketsenburg, despite a reformatted hard-drive, is happy to have the XBox back. I swear, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a thief. Which might sound hypocritical seeing how I just stole your heart. Admit it, you love me!
Wireless Controller Helps Recover Stolen 360 [kotaku]
Thanks to Saint Kevin, who once saw a man steal a woman's purse so he tripped the guy and kicked him in the throat until police arrived.
Nov 29 2008 My Condolences: An XBox 360 Funeral :(
What happens when an XBox dies? Does it go to heaven? A landfill? Sunday brunch for mimosas? Whatever the case, this is a picture of an XBox 360's funeral. As you can see, many friends from yesteryear came to pay their respects. This picture is actually just one in a series of the funeral, so you should go here to see them all, along with some words that were written about the event. It was very tastefully done. Not as tasteful as I would have done it, but the open bar/stripper funeral isn't for everyone. Like, haha, Aunt Phyllis. I've never seen so many angry relatives and confused strippers in my life. I had a blast!*
*And didn't even puke in the casket this time. Sorry, Uncle Rob, but hey -- at least you were dead! Tell God I say what's up.
Hit the jump for two more, then hit the link to see them all.
