Oct 19 2009 South America + Africa = Tyrannosaurus Rex
Proof that God loves dinosaurs, when South America is superimposed over Africa, it forms a Tyrannosaurus Rex head. Now don't take this lightly -- several people died getting this information out, as the Catholic Church has been trying to keep this from us for centuries. Suck it, Dan Brown, I own you!
Thanks to b00m, who found out if you superimpose me on top of a dinosaur you get a picture of me having sex with a dinosaur. Cool!
Oct 14 2009 More Spork Art: This Time A Human Carcass!
After yesterday's Plasticdragon, loyal Geekologie Reader Ashley wrote to inform me that he and his art group recently created a similar figure. Except, instead of a dragon, it's a dead-ass body!
This is a piece we did at Uni early this year and I just saw your feature article on the plastic dragon. The skeleton has been getting some nice features so thought you might be interested! :) It was a comment on the ironic contrast between our disposable fast-food culture and the problem of world famine. This received a D&AD Commendation at the '09 Awards.
Well done, Ashley. I'd like to take this time to point out that I, for one, am 100% against world famine. Now I know that I usually try to avoid getting political, but I firmly believe that all people should eat food. Except the fatties. They should exercise.
Hit the jump for three closeups.
Continue Reading " More Spork Art: This Time A Human Carcass! "
Oct 1 2009 Website Maps People's Sexual Escapades
Honestly, I don't even know what a sexual escapade is. But if it's anything like the Ice Capades you can count me in! No, seriously, I love skating. Anyway, IJustMadeLove.com is a website where users can let the rest of the world they just made love and where the deed was done. Because there's nothing more romantic after coitus than rushing to your laptop to tell the world you just touched a vagina. And as you can see from the map above, basically only North and South Americans are doing it. Plus a couple people in Europe, but they don't count because their penises are notoriously small. INTERCONTINENTAL BURN! But seriously, don't stop reading, Euro fans. You can stop sending pictures though.
Thanks to Romeo, who just pointed out I'm the number one contribuer to IJustMadeLoveToMyself.com
Aug 26 2009 Microsoft's Questionable Photoshop Job
These pictures come from Microsoft's Business Productivity websites. The top picture is from the US version, and the bottom is from Poland's. Apparently Poland isn't as hip to diversity as other parts of the world. Which reminds me, how many Polish people it takes to Photoshop a black man into a white one? Poles using computers -- BWAHAHAHAHA!
Thanks to Curtis, Norman, Lewis, Chrissy Poopy Pants McBacon Lover, draw and jawn, who once Photoshopped themselves into a picture of Dora the Explorer and Bob the Builder so they could pretend they have celebrity friends.
Aug 22 2009 New World Of Warcraft Expansion Coming
The latest World of Warcraft expansion, Cataclysm, is coming and there are gonna be lots of exciting new things to play and do. Plus, there's a wolf-people race. That's right: wolf people. OW OW OOOOOOOOOOOW!
* Two New Playable Races: Adventure as one of two new races--the cursed worgen with the Alliance or the resourceful goblins with the Horde.
* Level Cap Increased to 85: Earn new abilities, tap into new talents, and progress through the path system, a new way for players to improve characters.
* Classic Zones Remade: Familiar zones across the original continents of Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms have been altered forever and updated with new content, from the devastated Badlands to the broken Barrens, which has been sundered in two.
* New High-Level Zones: Explore newly opened parts of the world, including Uldum, Grim Batol, and the great Sunken City of Vashj'ir beneath the sea.
* More Raid Content than Ever Before: Enjoy more high-level raid content than previous expansions, with optional more challenging versions of all encounters.
* New Race and Class Combinations: Explore Azeroth as a gnome priest, blood elf warrior, or one of the other never-before-available race and class combinations.
* Guild Advancement: Progress as a guild to earn guild levels and guild achievements.
* New PvP Zone & Rated Battlegrounds: Take on PvP objectives and daily quests on Tol Barad Island, a new Wintergrasp-like zone, and wage war in all-new rated Battlegrounds.
* Archaeology: Master a new secondary profession to unearth valuable artifacts and earn unique rewards.
* Flying Mounts in Azeroth: Explore Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms like never before.
OMG, OMG -- I'm soooooo gonna be the first level 85 Worgen! AND THEN I'M GONNA COME BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN, THREE LITTLE PIGS STYLE. Afterward, a luau.
Thanks to Pedro and lauren, who already have level 90 Worgens because they're from the future.
Apr 30 2009 Surgical Masks: Fight The Swine Flu In Style
Let's face it, we're all gonna get the swine flu and die. But we can at least stave off infection for as long as possible and look stylish at the same time. Enter Yoriko Yoshida's (links to artists portfolio with tons and tons more) stylin' and profilin' surgical masks, each printed with a unique design. I call this one 'Octostache'. Hit the jump for a bunch more, but be sure to check out Yoriko's page to see them all. Then, get to designing your own. Or, alternatively, meet me in my underground bunker. I ain't going out because some jerk couldn't keep his penis in his pants at the petting zoo!
Yoriko Yoshida's Portfolio
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Stylish surgical masks by Yoriko Yoshida [pinktentacle]
Thanks to Margo the Jeweler, who made one with gold and diamonds. It's so sparkly!
Continue Reading " Surgical Masks: Fight The Swine Flu In Style "
Apr 27 2009 Tracking The Swine Flu With Google Maps
You can now track the swine flu with Google Maps by going HERE. If a marker appears in your town, and you're a chick, take naked pictures of yourself and email them to me for verification I don't care what you do if you're a dude, but no naked pictures, please. Also, I'm a little pissed at whoever started this damn flu pandemic in the first place. I'm looking at you, bacon hater. THE PORK GOD DEMANDS APPEASEMENT!
Thanks to Romeo and Frank B., who would much prefer the chicken pox.
Nov 5 2008 Why Obama Won: A Geekologie Perspective
Because he clenched the robot vote. This $250 ObamaBot cast 30 ballots and swayed human voters with the threat of annihilation, and also, a set of pretty sweet set of retreads. Yay democracy!
Even robots love Obama [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, my campaign manager, for siphoning off all campaign contributions to line his own pockets. With ones. To the strip club!
Sep 11 2008 Awh Man: Indian Girl Kills Herself Over Fear Of World-Ending Large Hadron Collider
Damn, this is some sadness. Chayya, a 16-year old Indian girl from Madhya Pradesh, drank pesticide and killed herself over fear of the Large Hadron Collider going online and destroying the earth. I send my deepest sympathies to Chayya's family and pray, for the sake of my own soul, that she never read Geekologie.
R.I.P. Chayya
Indian Teen Commits Suicide Over LHC Fears [uberreview]
PSA: THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER WILL NOT DESTROY THE PLANET.
Aug 25 2008 Wait, Come Back: The Olympics Are Over
Well folks, the Olympics are over. And you know what that means: no more getting drunk at the bar and watching rhythmic gymnastics. Oh, and 100,000 used condoms. Wait, what?
The UNAIDS, the Beijing organizing committee BOCOG and International Olympics Committee are providing 100,000 condoms as part of a campaign on HIV prevention and anti-discrimination.
While sex is not an Olympic sport it is expected to be an activity in the Beijing village housing 10,500 athletes, all of whom are in great shape and with plenty of free time on their hands once knocked out of the Games.
First of all, sex should be an Olympic sport. And secondly, holy crap -- 100,000 condoms for 10,500 athletes? That's like each athlete having sex ten times. Twenty times if athletes only have sex with other athletes! I mean, shit, the last time I had sex twenty times it felt like my arm was gonna fall off.
Beijing provides 100,000 condoms for athletes [yahoonews]
Thanks to Hunter, who's smart enough to know the only good sports are safe sports.
Aug 15 2008 The 2008 Olympics: Now In LEGO Form
This is the Olympic village made entirely out of LEGO. It was recently on display in Hong Kong to get everyone excited about the games and contains over 300,000 blocks and 4,500 minifigs. Hit the jump for a whole bunch more, including a damn good looking Water Cube. You know, I was so inspired by the work that went into this that I decided to write my congressman about getting a medal above the gold awarded in the Olympics. This medal, of course, would be LEGO. Pretty great idea, huh? Well that's what I thought -- but you know what he wrote back? "Stop writing me about all your stupid freaking ideas." Can you believe that? He said the exact same thing about the possibility of getting my likeness on a coin. What a dick!
Hit it for a bunch more.
Aug 14 2008 What's Google Maps Hiding From Us?
This is a picture from Google Maps from somewhere in Holland that looks suspiciously clone-stamped (see the similar looking light colored treetops?). So, Google -- what're you trying to hide, and why? Is it giant "Yahoo Rules!" sign? A monster penis-and-balls somebody mowed into their pot farm? WHAT IS IT? Inquiring minds want to know. Go here to see the actual spot in Google Maps, then post your guess. Mine is 5' 8", 178 lbs. Step right up folks, I'm a carny!
Jul 18 2008 Eye Candy: More Chinese Anti-Terrorism Exercises For The Olympics, With Captions!
Remember the picture of the Chinese military on Segways as part of an anti-terrorism exercise? Well it turns out there's a whole bunch more of them performing various drills. And I've posted them here for your viewing pleasure. This is one of the group practicing their synchronized flailing routine.
Hit the jump for 7 more, with captions!
Jul 15 2008 Scientists Collect Cow Toots To Better Understand Their Effects On Global Warming
Argentinian scientists are collecting cow gas in an effort to understand how the methane produced by our bovine brethren is affecting the global solar cooker we call earth and its atmosphere.
As one of the world's biggest beef producers, Argentina has more than 55 million cows grazing in its famed Pampas grasslands.Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology, said every cow produces between 800 to 1,000 liters of emissions every day.
Methane, which is also released from landfills, coal mines and leaking gas pipes, is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide.
Every cow produces 1,000 liters of emissions? Holy hellfire. I can't believe we can even breathe anymore. The scientists hope that by understanding the process by which cattle produce methane, they'll be able to alter their diets to produce less of the gas. Well call me old fashioned, but I think there's a much more logical, less scientific method for getting a cow to produce less tootage -- make them huff their own gas bags. Now I don't like awards ceremonies, so just go ahead and send the Nobel Prize to my parent's house.
Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study [telegraph]
Thanks Jim and Julian, is it true that huffing cow ass gets you high?
Jul 3 2008 Chinese Military Prepares For Olympics
So your good buddy The Geekologie Writer got what is known in the medical field as "f***ed the f*** up" last night because his wife made the mistake of going out of town for the holiday weekend. He hit wing night, drank like 300 beers, and then proceeded to sing "Ring Of Fire" at karaoke (he has a deep, sexy voice just like Cash). Good times. His hands are still shaking. Anyway, this is a picture of the Chinese military during a rapid deployment exercise in preparation for the upcoming Olympics. Because, let's face it, nothing says "I'm going for the gold!" like military personnel dry humping Segways.
Thanks Guillaume, I did a Segway once, but it was nothing compared to a Hoveround.
Jul 2 2008 Kid Breaks Guitar Hero Record, Is 13
Danny Johnson is 13-years old that started playing Guitar Hero a scant 9 months ago. But that hasn't stopped him from putting my skills to shame and snagging the Guinness World Record for highest score on "Through The Fire and Flames". Danny scored 890,971 points in front of a live audience at the Guitar Hero 24 Hour Maraton in Dallas and has allegedly pushed past 950,000 points at home. Danny estimates he's played the song nearly 500 times since first starting the game.
Danny still plays "Guitar Hero" about three hours a day. And even though he holds the world record, he's trying to do even better on "Through the Fire and Flames," trying to beat his high score. That poses plenty of challenge for him -- if not some irritation."I do hate the song," he admits with some reluctance. "It gets annoying a lot."
Three hours a day, huh? I see your three hours Danny, and raise you two more. The record will be mine. Oh yes, the record will be mine. Okay, now's the part where I say something mean about a 13-year old to make myself feel better because I'm jealous that he's better than me. Look away if you still want to have any respect for The Geekologie Writer. You've been warned. Hey Danny, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the grand prize for the tournament wasn't a girlfriend, was it? Haha, BURN! Wait a minute, I don't have one either. Who's the asshole now, Danny? Yeah, still me.
Hit the jump for a video of the record-breaking performance (filmed on a freaking television), along with one that was made in the comfort of his own home in which he scores over 949,000.
Jun 19 2008 A Villain Chair For Plotting World Domination
The Villain Chair is made by SUCK UK and is perfect for planning world domination, but versatile enough to relax in and do the Sunday crossword. Made with genuine leather, chrome, steel and aluminum, the damn thing costs $7,200. Yeah, $7,200 and you don't even get to beat the shit out of it with a sledgehammer. Talk about a ripoff. While I do appreciate a good villain chair, I'll just stick to my bone throne for the time being. After all, you can't spell "world domination" without hot wings.
Thanks Rachel, my tattered desk chair has never felt so inadequate
Apr 24 2008 Forget Time Travel, Now We're All Gonna Die
Remember the two Russians that were convinced the CERN Large Hadron Collider would tear a hole in the fabric of time so we can all travel to the future and ride hoverboards or the past and have sex with dinosaurs? Well now there are two gentlemen fighting a legal battle in Hawaii to prevent CERN from ever colliding anything. Why? They're convinced it'll open a black hole bigger than my girlfriend's gaping pie-hole, swallowing the earth -- and possibly the whole galaxy! My oh my.
Walter Wagner and Luis Sancho contend that scientists at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or CERN, have played down the chances that the collider could produce, among other horrors, a tiny black hole, which, they say, could eat the Earth. Or it could spit out something called a "strangelet" that would convert our planet to a shrunken dense dead lump of something called "strange matter." Their suit also says CERN has failed to provide an environmental impact statement as required under the U.S. National Environmental Policy Act.
Wow guys, way to be a bunch of weenies. You two never blew things up when you were kids did you? You know, you could learn a thing or two from Everett about living on the edge. I say f*** it -- if the thing creates a black hole and turns us into a shit-like lump of dead matter, we won't even be around to notice anyway. Screw it. Besides, I'm really banking on the whole time travel thing. Which is why I volunteered to have the particles collided with my face. If there's anybody who's gonna the be first to ride a tyrannosaurus rex while shooting at other dinosaurs with a giant laser beam, it's this guy. That's right baby, real life Dino-Riders! Now who's with me?
Try this headline: Black Hole Eats Earth [intl'heraldtribune]
Thanks to Kiyoshi, the only one who can stop the world from ending, for the tip
Apr 22 2008 Segway Inventor Makes Water Regenerator
Dean Kamen, who invented the Segway and clearly loves himself some denim, has created a new water regenerator. It's called the Slingshot (?) and has no filters whatsoever. It works via vapor condensation distillation and runs on, get this, cow fudge! Not only can the thing crank out perfectly clean water from any source (sea water, mud puddle, sewage, peepee), but it generates enough electricity to power 70 energy-efficient bulbs!
Kamen estimates the units will cost between $1,000 - $2,000 when they go into production and anxiously wants to get them into areas around the world with poor water quality. I'm all for it, and really do hope they reduce the rate of disease caused by nasty stuff in the water supply. While this waits to be seen, there is one thing known for certain -- I'd pee in it.
Happy Earth Day everyone. Go out there and plant trees. Or smoke some (wait, that was Sunday). Well, do something good for this great big ball we call home. But hurry -- the robots are coming.
Worthwhile video of Kamen showing off the machine on the Colbert Report after the jump or here.
Continue Reading " Segway Inventor Makes Water Regenerator "
Apr 3 2008 Running The Numbers Art Exhibit Is Staggering
I know what you're thinking -- the Geekologie writer has lost it and is posting fuzzy pictures of a scrambled skin-flick on Cinemax. Well, you're wrong. What you're actually seeing is a picture of two million plastic beverage bottles -- the amount used in the United States every five minutes. It's a piece in an exhibit entitled Running The Numbers, by artist Christ Jordan. That particular piece is actually 60" x 120", and there is a partial zoom and close-up after the jump, along with two others - plastic bags and cell phones. Check them out, and definitely hit the link to his gallery for a whole bunch more. They're definitely all worth seeing. And while you may argue with the statistics Chris used, I think we can agree that it would be fun as hell to dive into all those plastic bottles.
Kidding, these pictures are disturbing. If you need me I'll be hiding in the closet weeping into my blanky for the rest of the day.
Two more and a link to the very worthwhile gallery after the jump.
Continue Reading " Running The Numbers Art Exhibit Is Staggering "
