May 7 2009 Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures
You know how there's a camera that takes a picture of you on the steepest drop of a roller coaster? And then the park tries to peddle said photo after you get off the ride? Yeah, well Disney used to have boob-scanning personnel that would look at all the pictures before they appeared to patrons so no child would catch an eyeful. But now, thanks to the economy, not any more! So get out there and flaunt it! Boobs. I'm talking boobs, not penises.
And, since I love you, I included the NSFW NSFW NSFW uncensored version of the picture above after the jump.
Oct 28 2008 Well Hello: Olivia Munn's Costume Party
Attack of the Show's Olivia Munn recently appeared in a Halloween spread for Complex Magazine's October issue. As you can see, she's looking pretty good. I mean I'm not dying to write home about her, but I might fire off a quick email. F*** it, I'm texting.
Hit the jump for a larger shot of each costume and a behind the scenes video.
Continue Reading " Well Hello: Olivia Munn's Costume Party "
Oct 15 2008 More Brains!: A Zombie Pinup Calendar
My Zombie Pinup ($20) is a 2009 calendar that features scantily clad, brain-eating zombie ladies. I want one. It'd look great hanging in the garage next to my toolbox. Because I'm a man, damnit. A man that loves undead women. And power tools. But seriously, should I get a mauve or periwinkle duvet for the bed in the guest room? I don't want it to clash with the window treatments.
Hit the jump for a few more of the pictures, and a link to the buy site.
Oct 3 2008 Burton Releases Series Of Sexy Snowboards
Burton Snowboard's new Love series was made in cooperation with Playboy and feature busty centerfold pictures. Because let's face it, what could be cooler than cruising down the mountain on a booby-covered board? Ha, no, not dead hookerboarding, although....
Burton Love Series Snowboards [highsnobiety]
Thanks to Jo Mama, who knows I love the rich, chocolatey taste of Ovaltine.
Aug 29 2008 Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String
WARNING: the gallery after the jump is probably NSFW.
What is that, a hair band? Nope, it's underwear -- a C-string. The misnamed C-string doesn't actually have any straps, it's kept on by hugging the vagina and buttcrack. Now that's sexy talk.
C-String has a flexible internal frame that hugs and holds it to the body both securely and comfortably. Your modesty remains safely covered at all times. At the front it looks like sexy underwear, to the rear it has a thong-style strip, and to the sides it has nothing at all!
Wow, this is best thing to happen to underwear since not wearing any. Each vagina-band costs about $26 and is guaranteed to turn heads. And, also, my shoe camera.
Hit the jump for a NSFW Labor Day Weekend C-String Picture Extravaganza!
UPDATE: Added a German video about the C-string with funny subtitles.
Continue Reading " Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String "
Aug 18 2008 Yes Please!: Samus Aran's Zero Suit
As a guy who was raised on Metroid and just finished Corruption on the Wii last week, I have a special fondness for Samus Aran. And it's not just that sexy beam-cannon she sports either, although it certainly helps. Well, here's the same chick (whose name is Jenni Källberg and actually made the suit) that we saw previously in the entire Varia suit, but this time sporting Samus' more basic Zero Suit. Which, incidentally, I got to see at the end of Corruption because I went for 100% completion. I probably wouldn't have though if a friend hadn't told me I'd get to see her naked. That guy, such a prankster. I choked him to death with the nunchuck cable.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the second love of my life (behind Zelda).
Aug 18 2008 Man Humps Steel Bench, Almost Loses Junk
I have no idea what some of you tipsters' obsession is with guys getting their junk stuck in things, but it's borderline disturbing (just kidding, it's totally rad). But here goes: Xing, a 41-year old man, was wandering through LanTian park in Hong Kong late one night when he thought to himself, "I should stick my penis in a steel park bench, you know, for the Olympics." And that's what he did. Unfortunately, mid-coitus Xing realized he was stuck and called the police using his cell phone.
When police arrived, Xing was moaning in pain and stuck face down to the bench. They tried several penis-liberating options (including taking blood) before sawing the entire bench off and taking it to the hospital. 4 hours later Xing had his penis back, sans giant metal bench attachment. Good thing too, because doctors said one hour longer and they would have chopped his member off. Oh man, this reminds me of the time I made love to a hole in a tree during a camping trip. Hello woodpecker nest! Seriously, I pee out the side of my penis now.
Hit the jump for two more pictures of Xing and a video news report. Warning: lots of painful moaning. Lots. A lot, a lot. Tons. Never heard so much painful moaning. Also, added another link to a story about a guy that had sex with the umbrella hole of his picnic table so often that his neighbor finally filmed it and called the police. You're welcome.
Continue Reading " Man Humps Steel Bench, Almost Loses Junk "
Aug 12 2008 From Me To You On My Birthday: A Gallery Of Women In Princess Leia Golden Bikinis
There's a website out there appropriately named Leiasmetalbikini that is dedicated to, well, Princess Leia's metal bikini. You can buy them, sell them, discuss them, and, most importantly, peruse a huge gallery of chicks dressed in them. I flipped through and posted a bunch of my favorites after the jump (which you WILL look at), but there are literally hundreds -- so make sure to check them out. Just consider this a little gift from me to you. That way, you can't say I never got you anything. Seriously though, this might very well be the most selfless act ever performed on a person's own birthday. Quick, saint me!
Hit it for the MASSIVE gallery.
Aug 12 2008 OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?
Aug 11 2008 It's About Freaking Time: An Invisibility Cloak
Scientists at the University of California Berkeley have announced they're one step closer to the development of an invisibility cloak.
The light-bending effect relies on reversing refraction, the effect that makes a straw placed in water appear bent.
One approach used nanometre-scale stacks of silver and magnesium fluoride in a "fishnet" structure, while another made use of nanowires made of silver.Light is neither absorbed nor reflected by the objects, passing "like water flowing around a rock," according to the researchers. As a result, only the light from behind the objects can be seen.
The team says the principles could one day be scaled up to make invisibility cloaks large enough to hide people.
Sweeeeet. Can you imagine the chaos once everybody gets their hands on an invisibility cloak? The entire world will collapse and I'll die trapped underneath a bench in the women's locker room.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, that really is me in the picture with an invisibility helmet I've been developing the past couple months. Works like a charm!
Invisibility cloak 'step closer' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Ema, Popadopolis, Paul, and moe mentos, all of whom are ninjas and don't need invisibility cloaks.
Jul 14 2008 Tom Selleck Cake Is Chest Hair Delectable
If there's one thing I learned from watching every single episode of Magnum P.I., it's that I want to live in Hawaii and drive a Ferrari. If there are two things I've learned it's that I want to live in Hawaii and drive a Ferrari, and then lick Tom Selleck's chest hair in the most non-sexual mancrush way possible. Well birthday girl Emma got the next best thing when her friend Alicia Poicia made her a sweet Tom Selleck cake.
I will admit, this cake did not turn out how I envisioned. I initially imagined nipples, a bigger portrait area, and better bordering, lettering, and so on. I found myself running out of time, so the bordering, the lettering, and flowers were tremendously rushed and overall half-assed. Thus, they really bother me to look at.
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself Alicia. I didn't even notice there were flowers on the cake. I was too busy staring at the wormy man-hair covering Tom's glistening chest. Did I mention I like the mustache? I like the mustache. You can almost hear it asking, "Hey ladies, wanna go for a ride?" Oh oh, I do Tom, I do!
What's Better than Tom Selleck? A Tom Selleck Cake! [seriouseats]
Thanks Mariah, you think you could make me something similar for my birthday? But, you know, with real hair?
